The Golden Hour - Leaving Comedy for Good | The Golden Hour #25 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Starting point is 00:00:00 Yeah, like that sweet corn waffle cone. Honey marshmallow rocky road. I got to check that out. Look at this strawberry salami. Yeah, check it out by purchasing a scoop, dude. That's why you got to try it. Black olive? Oh, jeez.

Starting point is 00:00:10 No. Get out of here. Is this what's it called? Salt and straw. They have some good shit. But that? Come on. You got to try that.

Starting point is 00:00:17 The best is afters. Yeah. You got to try it. Afters is the best. Yeah, yeah, you got to try it, you asshole. Oh. We're friends that laugh. We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout.

Starting point is 00:00:28 Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about. But that won't stop us. Nothing can stop us. Ooh, yeah. It's like a show you used to love. Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour

Starting point is 00:00:52 It's the Golden Hour So, because there's so much stand-up, so many premises, so many people doing, think what they think is funny things, and then, like, as a stand-up, so many premises, so many people doing what they think is funny things, and then as a stand-up, you think of things, and then people are like, oh, that's my joke or that, whatever.

Starting point is 00:01:12 It's just, no, it's like parallel thinking is a real thing, and it's more prevalent even now. So for instance, I don't know if you saw Marlon Wayans' newest special. You probably may have watched it. Oh, I saw clips of it.

Starting point is 00:01:22 It's literally all about the Chris Rock slap. The Jada Pinkett stuff. It's about his relationship with Will Smith, Jada Pinkett, and Chris Rock. It's very vulnerable in how he's talking about it. But anyways, he makes a reference in his special. I make the exact same reference. In your special or just on stage? No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:01:43 As soon as the Chris Rock thing came out, I was doing material. And then I knew, like, this isn't going to last. So I took a chunk of it and I put it on the internet. Before. Literally week of. Oh, wow. Yeah. Smart.

Starting point is 00:01:55 Like week of, I did it. And so I saw his thing and I was like, oh, man, this is like the same reference. So for me, I'm like, this is my thing. It's on Instagram. It's on TikTok. And I'm like, so I my thing. It's on Instagram. It's on TikTok. And I'm like, so I know him. So I hit him up. I go, hey, man, I just wanted you to know that I did this too because I just don't want any like.

Starting point is 00:02:11 And also, yeah, you know he didn't take it from you. Yeah. And you didn't take it from him. That's what I'm saying. It's just, yeah. I know, but it just becomes a thing where like that's how things start, you know? Online though, like comics know. No, they don't.

Starting point is 00:02:24 No, they don't. No, comics don no they don't no they don't no comics don't know no they don't know dude i'll tell you why for is it yeah i'll give you another example of this so i was doing this i was doing a joke for like three years my premise was impossible pussy oh like oh the day like the dave chappelle yeah yeah see i was doing doing this. I'm doing it for a year. Yeah, yeah. Okay? And my thing, my joke, first of all, is way more fun. Yeah. It's just fun.

Starting point is 00:02:50 Right. You know what I mean? The way I would do it, it would be like this impossible pussy. And then I'd be like, there would be testimonials. This ain't real pussy. You know what I mean? Like it's a taste test, right? Anyways, the day that special dropped, my inbox was flooded.

Starting point is 00:03:09 Okay? And I'm talking about from comics too. Like, yo, dude. Legit comics? Yeah, yeah. You'd be surprised, man. Yo, dude, what? Even just telling me like, yo, dude, did he buy that from you?

Starting point is 00:03:18 Wow. You know, and I was like, oh, no. And this has happened to me twice with Chappelle. I've made a similar reference to him. And then I'd be like, well, there goes that. For me, I don't do the joke anymore. Well, you can't. Exactly. If it's oh, no. And this has happened to me twice with Chappelle. I've made a similar reference to him. And then I'd be like, well, there goes that. For me, I don't do the joke anymore. Well, you can't. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:03:29 If it's him. He's so famous. He's bigger than you. He's super. So I was like, god damn it, man. This is the second time this has happened. That sucks. But I don't fall in love with material.

Starting point is 00:03:40 Yeah, you can't, bro. You just don't fall in love with material, and I move on. It sucks, too, because there's the one thing. I don't watch anybody stand up. I don't watch anybody's stand-up. I don't watch anybody's stand-up. For that reason? Nah, it's just like it's not fun for me anymore. Like, I've seen – like, I just don't watch it, bro.

Starting point is 00:03:55 I don't watch – It's rare I do. I watch Big J's. I watch Big J's. Your special thing? Yeah, I laugh my ass off. I think it's important to watch some of our dignitaries of stand-up for this reason. Well, the last one I actually watched was the Chris Rock one.

Starting point is 00:04:12 Not the new one. Whatever the last one. Tambourine? Yeah, that one. You're saying like the tip of the spear guys. Yeah, man. Sometimes I think it's important to like, especially if you have like, and I know some of these people.

Starting point is 00:04:22 You know what I mean? So the thing is, this has happened with Bill Burr. Same thing. He did something on Saturday Night Live that I was like, oh, well, there goes that premise. Oh, really? So that's why I feel like it's like – Especially if you're very prolific and you're going to keep writing and you keep doing shit. Like, bro, I have a new hour every year and a half.

Starting point is 00:04:45 Like that's a lot of material and it's gonna you're definitely gonna be talking about the same shit that other people talk about because the same shit's happening in the world it's topical or you know it's like everyone's gonna have something about zoom do you know what i mean like in the past three years or pandemic or pandemic but with to your point eric it's like not being married to the bit. It's like I'll write a new one. It's all good. I'll come up with more shit.

Starting point is 00:05:10 So you have to feel like that. Yeah. But also, too, though, but here's the thing. It's not even topical stuff that you have to understand. Like there will be examples of there might be another guy who just had two kids. Of course, yeah. Talk about kids, dads. Whatever.

Starting point is 00:05:29 You think that this is my story. Someone else is like, yeah, well, that's also my story. I mean, I've had it both ways where people are like, dude, this sounds like that. And then I've had people be like, dude, this guy's biting your shit. And it's like, bro, I don't, when somebody tells me that somebody else is biting my shit, I don't even look at it, bro. I don't, just, bro, I don't care. I don't give a fuck. I'm going to keep going.

Starting point is 00:05:50 I'm not taking any shit. I'm just going to assume they're not. I don't give a fuck, dude. But also the people that take, you're not going to have a career. Especially in today's age, you're going to get found out. There's no way you can keep going up at the store and improv around other comics.

Starting point is 00:06:03 If you're known as that guy, you're fucked. When I was very first starting, I had a bit about fajitas. I've never seen Nick Schwartz do any of this stuff, and the fans were hitting me up. So I hit up Nick. I'm like, yo. And I was only doing the bit for maybe two or three weeks. Some hater came to the comedy store. I was like, oh, sharp copy, Nick Schwartz.

Starting point is 00:06:23 I call up Nick. I'm like, hey, you have a fajita beat? He's like, yeah, but I saw yours, it's a little different. It's not a big deal. I was like, nah, I'm not, he was like, you can do it. I'm like, nah, I'm out, man. Yeah, I can't, your bit's so much better, mine's so new, so I'd have to keep working on it.

Starting point is 00:06:36 Also, I'm good, man. That's my, I just don't, my bad, I didn't know. Well, it's like, sometimes a comic is so big, prolific. It's like no one can talk about Hot Pockets. Right, right, right, right, right. I don't care how different. It's fast. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:06:56 If you use the words hot and pocket in a sentence. Jim Gaffney. That's Jim Gaffney. Hot Pockets. It's too specific of a thing. A lot of people will do the drunk girl stuff. I don't give a fuck about that. People are like dude this guy's like bro that's such a wide topic man i know my shit went viral and people are going to compare your drunk bit maybe to mine i bro that's so when people say this guy's doing your drunk that that is that's respect chris what

Starting point is 00:07:20 to me that's respect like when people like dude this guy is doing a version of your bit. Your drunk girl bit, and that's one of the first times I met you, your drunk girl bit was so prolific and good outside everybody else talking about drunk girls that whenever they see it, like Hot Pockets, they think Chris D'Elia. So when I hear that, I'm like, let's go. Before that, they were thinking, what's his face from Saturday Night Live? Yes, dude, I know. Jim Brewer? No, Jeff Richards had a funny drunk girl character that he would do on SNL.

Starting point is 00:07:47 But yeah, dude, it's like, it's such a big, that's not like Hot Pockets. Drunk, being drunk is, it's like fucking having kids. It's like, you know, it's so, so like if somebody else is gonna come along and say, hey, my girl got drunk, this happened, people hit me up about that shit. It's kind of annoying, bro. bro like it's such a big topic but the hot pockets thing as a comic

Starting point is 00:08:10 so specific you know if you're not this is the other thing too but this is the other thing too if if you're in the trenches doing a joke and talking about hot pockets and no comedian has been like yo bro you don't know about jim gaffigan shit and no comedian's been like, yo, bro, you don't know about Jim Gaffigan's shit? And no comedian's been like, yo, Jim Gaffigan has that shit? I mean, that's not a real life. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know, dude. Like, in some ways,

Starting point is 00:08:33 it's a responsibility for fucking other people to tell the person. Well, that's the reason why I'm telling you that I don't always agree with being like, I don't ever want to watch comedy. Because I find that when you, I find that it's important to see what people are talking about. And it keeps you – sometimes you don't even realize things are in your head.

Starting point is 00:08:53 It can be inspiring too. Yeah, I know. But sometimes you just go – oftentimes I'll be like, oh, somebody has to have said this. Yeah. Yeah, totally. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I'll be like, oh, maybe I should –

Starting point is 00:09:03 And you won't even find out until you post it on the internet. You're like asking around, like, does somebody have a fucking thing? It seems too easy, but it's funny, and I got to. Dude, I had a comic. I won't even say his name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know him? Yeah, you know him.

Starting point is 00:09:15 You know him. But he comes up to me at the comedy store after I go, and he goes, hey, man, you know, people are going to see you do your thing, and I do the same kind of thing. And I go, well, I actually did that on my special. Right, right, right, right, right. know i people are going to see you do your thing and i do the same kind of thing and i go then i said to my girl well i actually did that on my special right right right right you know what i mean i was like and then it was just like because it was basically we're having a moment of like yeah bro survival of the fittest let's see which one's funny it doesn't matter man but but to to close this out i here's another comic that we all know. I'm not going

Starting point is 00:09:46 to say the person's name. But I remember this was way back in the ha-ha days. And I was doing crowd work. I was hosting a lot at that time. And something just came to me. Boom, boom, boom. I'm doing. And then this person comes to me and goes, yo, kind of doing my stuff. You're doing crowd work? Yeah. And I said, hey, listen, if off the top of my head I'm just messing around and that's your material, you need to go back to the lab.

Starting point is 00:10:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay? Go back to the lab. I'm not – if I can riff your material that you have written down. Yeah, I know. It sounds terrible. Your material sounds terrible. Awful.

Starting point is 00:10:31 You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Day.com. But, dude, goddammit, he can't stop plugging. You're selling it for him, dog. NBA playoffs are here, and that means Big Hoops action with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports wing partner of the NBA. Get in on the excitement of every game with a touch of a

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Starting point is 00:11:25 I think the Clippers are going to beat them. I take the Clippers. I agree. I take the Clippers. And then on the East, you got Milwaukee, you got the Celtics, you got the Knicks. No punks. We already said Milwaukee. I said the Bucs. You should be more specific. Alright, man. Let's go. That's it. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER

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Starting point is 00:13:56 on the road and do a bunch of other comics material. Like, because nobody knew because he was on the road. This was like before the internet was there. Like that's fucking crazy, bro. But not gonna you're gonna get found out eventually yeah well you're not gonna have a career well now you're i disagree i think you can have a career but this is new numbies if we say names i don't know if you guys know see that's a good producer always think about numbies who are you talking about but but also

Starting point is 00:14:23 eric do you ever have because you bring your uh host and feature yeah but when you book the local uh talent do they ever go hey is there any material you don't want me to touch on i'm like no man do your thing yeah yeah i never worry about that ever do you think yeah it's better mine you know cream rise at the top good for you man yeah whatever bro i also like i want to i want it to be hard for me to follow like you know i think that some comics get big and then they're like oh uh i want to chill say do my thing what they sandbag yeah like they put up shitty people in front oh yeah yeah so they look better it's like well bro it's the overall we can definitely name some guys that do that i don't know if that's the reason i think that that that may be the perception but i think

Starting point is 00:15:02 the reason is like you know you're out here with your fans. You don't want to work that hard. Yeah, but that's kind of the same thing. That'd be sandbagging. It's all about intentions, man. It's not to make yourself – as opposed to being like, I need to look like I'm the funniest. As opposed to being like, oh, man, now I got to go out here and fucking do a whole show. One's a bit ego-based, yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, my thing is I want the show to be great. Overall, yeah. I just want them to. Yeah, me too. I want it by the time I get on there's an energy flow and then now I'm going to ride this wave. You know what I mean? I always think I'm the funniest person in the room anyway.

Starting point is 00:15:37 Yeah. I don't care who goes on stage. I don't care who goes on stage. Before, you're good. Anybody. Yeah. No one's going to watch me after and be like, oh, I don't know if goes on stage before you're good anybody yeah there no one's gonna watch me after and be like oh i don't know if that guy belongs no i don't give a fuck but that's the

Starting point is 00:15:50 thing though but but that's the thing though like we have um i don't i wouldn't say we have like similar styles but like we're both animated and uh high energy you know and, you know, and, you know, to someone, like, I remember when you fucking, I didn't want to follow you. I brought you to the Irvine, whatever it was. I didn't want to follow you. You didn't follow?

Starting point is 00:16:13 Yeah. I mean, you think I was fucking crushing, and I'm like, but you know what? But I'm like, you know what? Some people, I actually hope some people are like, yeah, dude, we went to see Chris,

Starting point is 00:16:23 but man, Eric fucking kill. Like there are going to be, you, you're not going to be the funniest guy in the room for everybody. Right. You know, people fuck there. And that's why it's so dope.

Starting point is 00:16:33 When you have a tour, if you're going on tour, all of us going on tour with people are going to like you, people go like me, people are like the other person. I know. That's what we had. Chris Delia.com.

Starting point is 00:16:42 But that's, that's awesome, dude. That's awesome. But the thing is, it's like one thing you have to remember in that scenario. Like, it's just like how you said it. Okay.

Starting point is 00:16:51 I remember the dude from MADtv, Michael McDonald. Yeah, yeah. You know, so he started doing stand-up. Yeah. You know, so the Irvine inbroad, this was back in the day. He called me and said, hey, can you come do this show with him?

Starting point is 00:17:01 You know? And so like, he just started. So he was, you know, whatever, right? And this girl came up to me after the show and she was like, oh my God, you're so much funnier, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? And I said, thank you, but if that said Eric Griffin, would you have come? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 00:17:15 So all that. And just how you just said that, that's the sentence what people will say. It doesn't matter. They would say, we went to go see Chris D'Elia. And the opener was good. They wouldn't say Eric eric what's the important part there yeah we went to go see i think that's the only thing that's important no i think the narrative is changing because you know i do the meet and greets i on you it is i get i'm telling you i see it in the on the ground now you're not just an opener no no we know that, I'm saying every single CD I go to,

Starting point is 00:17:45 people will either go, Eric was here before or I saw Eric. Like, he's so funny. I'm like, he's a monster. Like, why is he bigger? I'm like, he's getting it.

Starting point is 00:17:54 I know the problem is is that's the thing. It's like, there's a difference between being like, you can put on a good show and then it's like, how do you get people

Starting point is 00:18:01 to get to the show? Yeah, yeah, it's a different thing. I come from a different era, sadly, where it's like, you know, I missed some of this so it's like, how do you get people to get to the show? Yeah, yeah. It's a different thing. I come from a different era, sadly, where it's like, you know, I missed some of this. So it's like now I'm trying to catch up and get into people. Come watch me perform because you won't be disappointed. No way.

Starting point is 00:18:14 You know? See, but I would rather have that, Eric. I'd rather be in your position where once the crowd's there, you have the chops to do it. Where they're never going to leave. You know what I'm saying? And then some of these YouTubers, other people where it's instant sellout, and then they only have a career for two or three years. Yeah, it's the curiosity.

Starting point is 00:18:30 Once they come to your show, they're always coming, Eric, because you're so talented. Come on, EricGryphon.com. But, yeah, so anyway, that was great. Speaking of watching me, I'm going to be at the Louisville Comedy Club. When does this come out? This Thursday? Yeah, you might probably – Friday, Saturday, come check me out.

Starting point is 00:18:46 They could use some laughter up there. Yeah, and then the Mothership next weekend. Oh, yeah, yeah. I want to know how that goes. I'll be at, let's see, Pueblo, Colorado, right? Is that what it's called? Pueblo, yeah. Tucson.

Starting point is 00:18:58 A lot of biker gangs up there. Yeah. A lot of meth. Be good for you. Tucson, Ohio. I'll be in Ohio. Wow, his internet's not working. That's amazing. I'll beson ohio i'll be in ohio wow his internet's not working that's amazing i'll be in ohio i'll be in uh these pictures huh cleveland tucson yeah you look sad there um

Starting point is 00:19:12 charlotte knoxville little rock look at all this nashville calgary i'm doing canada montreal oh you're into september already yeah detroit orlando you want to give your 2025 dates too? Fort Myers. Well, that's what people are doing now though. It's far, you know. I know. Yeah, but that's the thing though

Starting point is 00:19:31 because you'll keep selling, I'll keep selling however many tickets a day up until it happens. In 2031, I'll be at the amphitheater. But you keep selling tickets until the fucking thing comes up. Yeah, I feel you. So it's like.

Starting point is 00:19:44 I'm at La Jolla Comedy Store. I think first week of june i'm there and then june 13th through the 25th might be the 15th to the 25th 15th to the 25th i'm in uk belfast europe dublin i'm all over one theater run one show in every city so come get you something damn the comedy store la jolla first week of June. That's a great club. The La Jolla one? My favorite. I never liked it. Why?

Starting point is 00:20:09 You gay. I never liked it. Everyone would, all the comics would talk about how great the La Jolla Comedy Store is. And I just, everyone was always entitled, drunk in the audience,

Starting point is 00:20:19 super white. It just was too, well, you're like a mix, you know? Isn't that your crowd? I mean, it's mostly white. But in La Jolla, it's only white. I think he meant the entitled part, too. Oh, oh, oh.

Starting point is 00:20:37 Do you not know your crowd? Are you the head of marketing for Bud Light? No, but... That's so dumb. What? I mean, it's just... What's dumb about it? In your eyes.

Starting point is 00:20:47 They're down $7 billion. Are they? Yeah. Really? Dude, so fucked. Whoa. Really? Are they actually?

Starting point is 00:20:54 Or is this a Brendan Shaw thing you just said? Bring it up, Nick. Bring it up, Nick. Bring it up. See how much money they've lost. Don't go to that. Go to the article. I don't think it's real.

Starting point is 00:21:04 They lost... Well, I'm losing... If you say they lost money, okay. But that. Go to the article. I don't think it's real. They lost. Well, I'm losing. If you say they lost money, okay, but that's a lot of money. It was when you calculate the stock price drop in a couple days, they did lose whatever, how much? It was $6 billion. Anheuser-Busch. You said six what?

Starting point is 00:21:20 Six billion. Billion? Yes. So if you keep going down. No way. Yeah, keep going down. Because we know how to read those. So if you keep going down. No way. Yeah, keep going down. Well. Because we don't know how to read those. Even if that's half wrong.

Starting point is 00:21:30 Even if that's double wrong. Three billion? You know what I mean? Despite the controversy, the company stock is still sitting at a 52-week high and is outperforming competitors. Okay, let's move on. Legit the opposite of what you said. No, you got to go. I'm telling's move on. Legit the opposite of 100%. No, you got to go.

Starting point is 00:21:46 I'm telling you, Nick. Type in the right shit. It dropped 3% following the news of the thing. If you look at the last year, it's up 52%. God. When that came out, they dropped. Yes, 100%. Okay.

Starting point is 00:21:58 That is, well, yeah, that's. Where is it now, though? Well, I mean, it's going up and up and up and up, but after that came where is it now though well if i mean it's keep you know it's going up and up and up and up but after that came out it went down um whatever uh i don't care honestly i didn't drink i didn't drink bud light anyway i don't really give a i think they're way off in trying to virtual signal to a small demographic but it's also like no you're demo dude yeah it's fucking bud light bud light yeah it's not fucking Sweet Puffs. I don't even think that has anything to do with anything at all.

Starting point is 00:22:29 You're demo? I think it has to do with like, they're like, how many followers does that person have? 10 million? Maybe we can get these people to drink our drink too, and they just did that. It's like as if you're at the store, and let – let's say you're at the market and you got your cart and you see a transgender person in a cart before you and they get Fruity Pebbles. Are you going to be like, well, I'm not going to eat that now? Yeah, correct. That's stupid.

Starting point is 00:22:55 No, that's so stupid. They're already called Fruity Pebbles. I'm just saying – what I'm saying is like that's basically what they're saying is like I'm not going to drink. They think that Bud Light cares about agenda. No, they care about selling Bud Light. And this person has 10 million followers. It's a demographic they haven't got to yet. So they were just thinking, hey, let's just go into this demographic. I bet you they need to drink all the hate they're getting.

Starting point is 00:23:17 They probably need to take it. Hey, are you being hated on by the Christian right? You know what you need? A Bud Light. I literally don't give a fuck. You're just holding your dicks and your tits at the same time, and you're like, you know what I mean? It's stupid.

Starting point is 00:23:32 I'm just saying, listen, you're fucking stupid. Who? These people that are shooting Bud Light. Like Kid Rock? What the fuck is wrong with that guy? They're too far on their team. Where it goes against their agenda, they're too far on that team. It's like, bro, bro.

Starting point is 00:23:49 It's not the Bud Light. But that's who follows that guy. There's a lot of people who do that. That's how he's making money. But that's what I'm saying. Yeah, he's all making money. So here's my point. Him and C are best friends.

Starting point is 00:23:58 I'm sorry. What'd you say? This is what I'm saying is that fringe agenda is equivalent to the opposite agenda. Correct. You are just, this is just, this is the transgender, whatever you want to call it. This is the same shit. They're all crazy. You're too far on one side.

Starting point is 00:24:15 You're crazy. You're wrong. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. This Dylan, what's the person's name? Mulvaney. And he's saying, is it she or he? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:24:24 Was a guy, now a she. Okay, so that person is mentally ill. Look at the person. It has nothing to do with because of the trans thing. Anybody who's like, woo-wee-ah-wah, if it's a chick, you're crazy. You're a dude, you're crazy. It doesn't matter if you have a dick or a pussy. That person's crazy cuz look at him

Starting point is 00:24:46 I'm tired of this bullshit where people are like, oh they're insane because they're trans people are watching that shit real trans We watch it to go like this Here we go again Well, they think that Mulvaney got to like he was trying to get in the act and couldn't do it then his friend Wrote him this part we had to dress as a girl so you know it's like did he do it because he actually feels like a woman or did he do it to gain you know attention

Starting point is 00:25:12 in Hollywood? There's a lot of pushback on that person because of the different like but also get yours girl. I don't know the ins and outs of it. I don't know about this friend. I don't know what's going into that person's head. What I do know is that person cries every day every day about some shit yep that's bad you can tell the people who cry every day look at their faces yeah look at their fucking faces

Starting point is 00:25:39 when you see two people beefing online and one person is a piece of shit and the other person is a piece of shit look at them look at their picture you can tell a lot of tears who's the nut job yeah and who's wrong you can tell and in this case just the same thing on both sides oh yeah like these two need to get together and have a bud light that's what i'm saying he's mentally ill yeah to put all the bud lights on the thing, shoot him with an AK-47. That's a mentally ill thing to do. Or he's just bored as shit. Yeah, he could be just rich and fucking. He does cruises.

Starting point is 00:26:14 The one idiot that's also like that set the Jack Daniels on fire. So we're not talking about Jack. Now you're just being weird. Why are you dragging Jack into it? Because I think they put a bottle with a rainbow on it. Guys are like, enough's enough. They had a RuPaul thing where they promoted Jack Daniels. I think it happened a long time ago, but it just got rediscovered again.

Starting point is 00:26:36 That's someone just waiting and be like, and look at this. These guys are like, I've been drinking cum this whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew I was engaged. Jack off, Daniel. That's what they think it is. That's why these thoughts are in my head. I told you, Dave, I ain't gay.

Starting point is 00:26:54 Annie, I believe. We should make that product Jack off, Daniel. Jack off. Yeah, Jared, it's. We started the show? What is that? what you got for us well yeah well nah let's

Starting point is 00:27:07 fuck it is this the patreon one or the regular one this is regular okay yeah wait hey congrats on the baby man congrats on the fucking baby

Starting point is 00:27:18 but yeah I got two kids now bro it's so weird welcome to the party yeah I know right it's the best it's so weird to it's so weird looking the party yeah i know right it's the best to say it's so weird to it feels so weird to say i have kids it's like how did i get here it's like having a kid is well

Starting point is 00:27:35 first of all having a kid is a huge thing in your life that changes you and your thoughts if you're a good person if you're yeah well continue the other way too. But then when you say, now it's like I have kids, that really makes me feel like an adult. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, finally.

Starting point is 00:27:55 Yeah. For real though. You know, I was thinking about this, man. So no more sneakers. Let's get some. Our outfits beg to differ. Yeah. The barbershop ones.

Starting point is 00:28:04 Yeah, I love those. The barbershop ones. Yeah, I love those. The barbershop dunks. But yeah, I meant ones as in these are the ones that I have. I know they're not ones. People will be like, they're not ones. So yes, because the job that we have. I was talking about this with another comic who's 50 something. It's not Brian Callen.

Starting point is 00:28:23 But we were talking about like. But no, it would go for brian but brian like he looks fantastic and we always were talking about the about the uh how old he looks age and shit but like dude we live a life of doing what we love you know and we're so uh silly that shit keeps us young bro and in a good way and then And then also in a way where it's like, sometimes I leave my underwear in the living room. And I'm like, man, my dad would have never done that. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:28:54 But like, in my head, I'm like, I mean, I'm only 43. But that's fucking old, you know? Yeah, it is. But that mindset is good, but it's also like like, you know. Well, Chris. I've got two kids now.

Starting point is 00:29:07 Congratulations. Thank you. And Chris sent us a picture. And this boy. Half the picture was balls. Okay. Okay. Not mine.

Starting point is 00:29:17 I didn't. Like the kids' balls. I didn't know. And then Eric goes on the group text, he goes, holy balls. And Chris goes, oh, man, I didn't see his balls. It's just this thick nutsack. I'm so in love with I'm just taking pictures, sending. And then he was one of those bouncy things.

Starting point is 00:29:36 I thought the same thing. No, it looked like it was a beehive. Just this big nutsack. When a male is born, there's a lot of fluid in there. I didn't know that. And I kept mine. I still have mine.

Starting point is 00:29:49 The fluid? Yeah. It's in like a jar? Yeah, I bring it to the jar. You should make necklaces. Like Angelina Jolie. Yeah, with the blood? Crystalline ball juice.

Starting point is 00:29:58 This is ball juice. You got crystalline.com? Yeah, yeah. Dude, I've had two boys. I've never seen a pair of balls like that. Yeah, well. Them boys are... They were like that. I don't know if Calvin's were like that, but they. Yeah, yeah. Dot com. Dude, I've had two boys. I've never seen a pair of balls like that. Yeah, well. Them boys, they were like that. I don't know if Calvin's were like that, but they said that.

Starting point is 00:30:09 It's gone now. I mean, it goes away. Oh, they're tiny now? No. They're not tiny. Okay. He has big balls. Oh, do you decide on the name?

Starting point is 00:30:18 I don't know if you should end that fight. Yeah, yeah. What? Do you decide on a name? Yeah, William. William McHenry. My dad's name. Bill.

Starting point is 00:30:24 My dad. Yeah. And then McHenry. My dad's name, my dad. And then McHenry is her, on her mom's side is her maiden name. Or her name, her last name. So that's the middle name for him? Yes. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, really cool. I fucking, it's awesome, dude.

Starting point is 00:30:36 It's wild. You forget how small they are. Yeah. Bro. Newborns are weird. They're, and they do look like old men. None of them look good. Everyone's like, He's so cute

Starting point is 00:30:45 It's like I was like Well here's another serious kid Coming out of between you I mean I mean I'm in his focus This kid is like

Starting point is 00:30:52 Nah Yeah I'm just like What's going on Yeah This kid Skeptical hippo This kid is like

Starting point is 00:31:00 What are you trying to tell me Yeah Yeah He very much I saw that one picture He was like he had to look on his face like why am i out of my apartment imagine think about what it's like think about what it's like to be born actually that must be traumatizing like for real like we don't remember it horrible but like you're you're chilling oh it's awesome you're upside down you don't even

Starting point is 00:31:23 know it i'll tell you no they don't even know it. I'll tell you different. No. You don't even know it. You're upside down. You don't give a fuck. You're like, man, this is warm as fuck, chill. And then all of a sudden, all the lights, nine people. Then you have to also breathe now. Like weird as fuck. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:37 That's why they cry because that is painful. Yeah. And how's Calvin doing with it? Dude. Did people tell you the advice on how to do it with the kid with the older brother? Yeah, they did. Like, he's responsible. Like, it's your brother.

Starting point is 00:31:52 They say it's his baby, too. Yes, correct. But so everyone's like, he's going to be jealous. Be ready. And I know Calvin. I know he's not going to be jealous. I know this boy. And sure enough, he was just like so trepidatious around him.

Starting point is 00:32:07 He's like, do you want to hold him? He's like, no. He's like worried that he's going to do something. Hurt him, yeah. Yeah, hurt him. He's really sweet. And the other day I heard him with Kristen and they were looking at William and he was like, does he like me? It was the sweetest fucking thing, dude.

Starting point is 00:32:21 When the baby came out, we handed, so obviously my wife held him but then but next to her it was tiger we're like that's your brother that's your baby brother now he's like super protective yeah it's so sweet man um that's what you need yeah it's the best all right nick what do you got the kidless section over there what do you got speaking Speaking of kidless. Johnny Sanchez. Johnny Sanchez and Rock of Ages. What up, Golden Hour? It's Vintage Mike here coming at you with a debate club. So I recently saw that the baseball player Anthony Bass, his wife, was on a flight with her 5-year-old and 2-year-old kids.

Starting point is 00:33:03 They were eating some popcorn on there and they made a bit of a mess. The flight attendant made the baseball player's wife pick up all the popcorn, quote-unquote, on their hands and knees. So Anthony was upset about that and made a Twitter post where it seemed like he was getting kind of roasted on. That couldn't go wrong. So it got me thinking, what do you guys think? The

Starting point is 00:33:19 Bay Club, who do you think was in the wrong? The baseball player, his wife, or the flight attendant? What do you guys think? Hold on on so let me read what they actually said go up traveling with five real interior to get on our hands and knees to pick up the popcorn mess by young what well where you at on this i'll tell you right now my kids wouldn't make that mess no you have to pick it up 100 you can't always clean it up yeah and it's like you expect the flight poor flight attendant to pick up after your kids and it's all over the aisles. As soon as one colonel drops, I'd ask my kid, I'm like, what are you doing?

Starting point is 00:33:51 This is just some entitled rich people bullshit. But wait, was he on the flight? He was not. Okay. He was on the flight. I'm like, bro, you do it. My wife had to do it. Yeah, where was he?

Starting point is 00:34:03 I can't believe I had to watch my fucking five-month pregnant wife. I had to order her to do it. He's just filming it. This is ridiculous. Baby, you missed the spot. To me, this is crazy. Not only just, I don't even mean it's crazy to actually be that entitled. I think it's crazy to post about it.

Starting point is 00:34:24 Like, bro, to be that unaware is nuts. Thank you for everyone's support. Go down a second. Taking care of the matters of the flight attendant internally. Right there, though. So he's basically trying to get her fired. This one is important. My last incident, United provided the popcorn.

Starting point is 00:34:42 Yeah, but you have to know your kids don't know how to eat popcorn. Yeah, but also your wife allowed them to have that popcorn. They okayed it. It's not like the flight attendant was just randomly handing them bullshit that they can't have behind your back. The wife goes, yeah. This whole thing is I'm with you on this. Stop snitching, you motherfucker. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:01 Pick up the back end of the popcorn and get this poor lady fired, bro. This motherfucker. Because this guy knows how to play baseball. Dude, if you don't know how to play baseball he's this motherfucker yeah yeah yeah fuck this motherfucker he's probably a nice guy i have no fucking idea no idea but you know what well he needs to remove the christian part because but you know what he but also he wasn't there he wasn't there. He wasn't there. So remember, his wife called him. Probably super dramatic. Good point, dude. And then he was like, oh. Hold on.

Starting point is 00:35:31 Yeah. And then he was like, oh, hell no, and got on Twitter. I was on my hands and knees. What a good point, dude. This guy. Bitches be crazy. This guy, it's, yes, it's all her fault. Yes. Yes, one for the men.

Starting point is 00:35:45 Fuck yeah, bro. I'm back on your side. And not only that, I'm a fucking huge Toronto Blue Jays fan now. Yeah, I like this guy. Fuck yeah, dude. And he probably tweeted that to support his wife. She's like, you better do something. Yeah, dude.

Starting point is 00:35:58 And then he's like, oh, shit, this is not going well. Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. Dude, the best fucking Toronto players is Joe Carter, man. Well, he has to. Oh, good pull. He has to do that. I mean, honestly, if you think about it, he has to do that.

Starting point is 00:36:11 What do you mean? You know, it's like his wife calls, you know. Because, you know, behind the scenes, in your mind, you'd be like, were you on your hands and knees? Oh, oh, oh, oh. You know what I mean? Were you on your hands and knees? Yeah. Like, I'm just thinking if it was Rachel, I'd be like, were you on your hands and knees? Oh, oh, oh, oh. You know what I mean? Were you on your hands and knees? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:25 Like, I'm just thinking if it was Rachel, I'd be like, were you on your hands and knees? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should you have gotten a popcorn? Both knees or one knee. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're kind of like, was it a big mess? You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:36:35 Oh, I would have done this. But then he's like, it's about me. I am carrying your child. I would have let her go. I'm like, uh-huh. That's crazy. Damn, that's crazy. But you land when?

Starting point is 00:36:44 I wouldn't give a fuck. Are you landing soon? Okay, cool. Click. Babe, aren-huh, that's crazy. Damn, that's crazy. But you land when? I wouldn't give a fuck. Are you landing soon? Okay, cool. Click. Babe, aren't you going to take care of it? Yeah, yeah, I'll call United. Click. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:52 Not calling United. Yeah, I talked to them. They're going to talk to the lady. Not calling United. Not calling them. Yeah, yeah. I'll get on it. Sweetie, I called them.

Starting point is 00:36:58 They're going to take care of it. Yeah, apparently they're going to fire her. All right, you land soon? From the childless section, how pregnant is 22 weeks because i feel like that's not that she's not she's not she's showing a little bit but yeah no but but she could be having a fucking horrible time in that pregnancy you don't know i mean being pregnant is different bro how about man the first fucking the first trimester of this last pregnancy. Yo, hey, nobody talks about how terrible it is for the guy. Never.

Starting point is 00:37:28 Oh, you can't. Go off this. They will kill you. They will kill you for this. I'm going to tell you. Go, Chris. Bro. I'm going to teach you something right now.

Starting point is 00:37:36 Yeah. Pregnancy for the man is so you can learn that when you're tired, when you're upset, when you have things going on you still gotta get shit done no one gives a fuck yeah yeah that's what it trains you for yeah that point is to train you for it so like you know it's like it's like it's just yeah that's all that is and what was your wife really sick like the first time i'm joking but she was very sick, very depressed. It was fucked up. It was really hard to deal with for her. And me. Oh, it's

Starting point is 00:38:09 the worst. Nobody gives a fuck. No one gives a fuck. No one cares. And I want, you know, and look, we have two boys. We knew it was going to be a boy. You know, we want to have a girl too. uh we'll have three

Starting point is 00:38:25 four kids i don't know the first trimester that this second one i was like more kids yeah charge it to the game dude we can't have another kid but then you forget because of these but then you forget well two years goes by yeah that's biological that's biological because you need to fucking keep procreating but the after the three month mark that shit was so much better bro i mean it was like a few days later like after the three months mark dude she was just like it was like i'm walking on sunshine oh until until eight and a half months and she's just like oh she's not gonna move she's not gonna move she can't bro how imagine having a fucking just a thing hanging off she she went to bend

Starting point is 00:39:05 over once and i'm just like i'm like imagine what that must feel like to have not only the seven pounds of baby or eight pounds of baby but to also have you got to have your fucking your tits all fucking just just fucking just so big and you're just like and all the fat and the placenta and you're just and she went to bend over to pick it up and i'm like damn that's fucking rough and then i dip my chips in the guacamole and ate it even though she probably farted i go damn that's rough didn't do shit just like that baseball no no no i go sweetie let me pick that up oh too late too late. No, I'm kidding. But yeah, dude, man, they're all different looking. Does she have cravings?

Starting point is 00:39:49 Does she have terrible cravings? No, she had, yeah, I mean, just like fruit and shit, not like weird. I feel like that's TV pregnancy. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's cravings. No, there are. My girl at Flame Hot Cheetos was, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's cravings. My girl at Flamin' Hot Cheetos is like, you wouldn't believe.

Starting point is 00:40:09 Now my son fucking loves them. There are cravings. Do you need something else maybe? But talk about the TV shit. I always thought that TV pregnancy, when their water breaks, it's always like, oh, you know what I mean? They're sliding down to the doctor's office but i slipped fucking just fucking here we go you're on the back she's coming in doc just

Starting point is 00:40:37 and uh and and i'm like well that's not how it happened you know it leaks out whatever like even calvin didn't have it. Dude, this time, holy shit. We went into the hospital to induce. So, you know, it wasn't, we weren't waiting for the water to break, but we were. So we get into the hospital. They put the, they got, they do so much to it. They do so much to get this shit ready.

Starting point is 00:41:01 They're like, let's put the pill in. Let's put the balloon in. We got the wifi going. Like, it's just insane. You put the epidermal in her back. The needle's like this big. Touches her fucking spine. Epidural, not epidermal, but yes. And epidermal would be on the skin.

Starting point is 00:41:13 Dermal, right? So it's okay. No, mine was just on the skin, though. Mine was just on the skin. Yeah, it was just the skin. That's why I said epidermal. You did it, too? Do me, too.

Starting point is 00:41:22 Yeah. And that makes your legs numb anyway. Yes. But the, so, dude, she's laying on her side, and I'm there chilling, you know, and she's looking at TikTok or whatever the fuck on her phone, and all of a sudden she goes, oh, my. And I said, what? I'm scared, you know?

Starting point is 00:41:38 I think like a hand's coming out. Also, you're a housewife from the 50s? Oh, my. No, you know what I said on my podcast? I said it was like a fucking old lady that saw some dope bougainvilleas. Just like, oh, my. And I said, what? And she says, my water broke.

Starting point is 00:41:52 And I pull back the thing. Dude. Brendan's fish tank was there. Dude. Three air wallows. I was like Oh they gotta We have to move rooms

Starting point is 00:42:07 Like they have to change They have to change They gotta move rooms I mean it was It was like They put sheets down In case that happens It was well over that

Starting point is 00:42:17 And onto the bed And I'm like Oh I gotta get a different bed Like and they came in there It was so funny With the nine pound sack Carrying the fucking kid Yeah Whatever bro The they came in there. It was so funny. With a nine-pound sack carrying the fucking kid. Whatever, bro.

Starting point is 00:42:26 The nurse came in, and we were like, is that normal? And the nurse goes like this, yeah. And I was like, it's not normal. Oh, no. It was so much a movie thing. Oh, no. It was insane. Yeah, and she didn't even know how to lie to you.

Starting point is 00:42:39 Yeah, yeah. But getting back to it, yeah, this guy, we get why you did it, but you shouldn't have done it that way. Tweeting about it like that, that's just. But also, he had pressure from the wife. That's all. We also understand. No, you know what?

Starting point is 00:42:51 You just never know what people are going through, dude. That lady shouldn't get fired. You shouldn't fucking shame this guy. The guy gets it. He tweets it out. I'm sure he feels like a fucking dick. But also that mom who's pregnant flying with two kids. You ever flown with the kids by yourself it's a fucking beast dude you got

Starting point is 00:43:10 snacks make sure they're good you can't never chill sleep there's no sleeping what two kids yet it's a beast dude that's why that's why you shouldn't fly with kids wait you have kids though right i understand you get these little bitches you to you have kids you're taking hawaii and have grandma come to you yeah my bad plan is this a little brows yeah that's brown what's up hey him and jim were in atlanta what up boys what's up boys that's awesome too we just saw brennan perform at the punchline we're in atlanta and we have an iran jump off samples yeah so he said they got am i wrong for that wrong for that samples yeah so basically getting samples or multiple samples from a spot when you know for a fact you're not gonna you're not gonna get it yeah you're not gonna buy what they're selling

Starting point is 00:43:58 you're just hungry whole foods the mall yeah selling them a dream that you're gonna be a customer But I know you're not Am I wrong for that? You're wrong for that romantic sunset What the fuck is this bro? It fades over and they're making out You know what I mean? It's been bent over on the fucking It just fades over and they're just like Stroking him

Starting point is 00:44:24 Yeah give me the jack off Daniels Can you give me some Yeah. Yeah. Give me the jack off Daniels. Can you give me some? Why did they do the fucking superimposed? It's beautiful. There's a parking lot. I asked him for this shot because the sun was setting. And isn't that where you performed?

Starting point is 00:44:38 Right. Oh, is it? Yeah. Close there. Yeah. In the parking lot. Yeah. Was it a Bert Kreischer show with the cars?

Starting point is 00:44:46 That's fucked up If you need to do that though Because you're hungry I did in high school and college You don't have a ton of money So I'd go by the Chick-fil-A thing a few times And find that bitch like, uh-uh, keep going I mean, if I'm working at the place And I know some buddy's hungry

Starting point is 00:45:01 I would just be like, ah, fucking But if someone's trying to get one over on me get the fuck out the ice cream people are the worst when you're you know you've been there a million fucking times like can i try vanilla i'm like bitch you know what vanilla tastes like i'm trying to get in and out you stupid cut no no here's the thing i got that shit is bro how's the chocolate mall hey you know how it is is. I give them one of those. You know how it is. If it's a mystery flavor, I get it. Don't offer samples.

Starting point is 00:45:31 I don't even get that. The mystery flavor, if it's like a popcorn flavor? You don't get that. You don't get that kind. Here's the thing. If you're walking in a supermarket and you think, oh, let me try that. Because they're going like, hey, would you like to try some turkey duck meatballs?

Starting point is 00:45:50 You're like, all right, that sounds interesting. When it becomes a problem is when you circle back and you're like, can I try another? That's when you go too far. You get one sample. You get one sample. Yeah, did you like it? But it's not like you walk up to, like if you walk, if you see, oh, there's the sample people. Let me go check this out. And you're there like, oh, yeah,

Starting point is 00:46:08 that looks, you know. Yeah, but you know people do that. Costco used to do it and they'd be like, oh, you want to try this whatever Fleming Young? Like, fuck yeah, bitch. I thought you said that. Fuck yeah, bitch. It's a chick. If you're trying things at Costco, like like you got other

Starting point is 00:46:26 problems yeah yeah i was younger man i think i mean look if you go into an ice cream place and you try two different samples that's okay no fuck you you think so it's ice it's ice cream no i disagree it's ice you think more no i think i disagree where you do it is at the yogurt place you know it's yogurt what's the difference It's yogurt. What's the difference? No, because yogurt's a dumb thing, so they have to have ridiculous blackberry sage bubble. You're like, okay, can I check that out? And then you taste it, and you go like, oh, this doesn't taste like what it's supposed to taste like. So you go, I don't know if I want that one.

Starting point is 00:46:59 Let me try. That's why you're trying a couple different flavors. No, bitch. But if it's like chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, then you're like go fuck yourself but i mean it's never that it's like peanut butter corn or whatever yeah it's like you see that and you go i gotta try that that's that salt and straw off abic salt and straw off abic kenny has those weird like bone marrow cherry whiskey no, bitch.

Starting point is 00:47:26 You buy it, and then you got to deal with it. No, you try it out. That's why they have the little cups. No, that's some ho shit. Samples are for hoes. Yeah, I agree, bro. Samples are for hoes. Samples are for hoes.

Starting point is 00:47:37 Make a decision, and you live with it. If it's bad, don't buy it next time you come through, you fucking idiot. All I have to say is, I got ho. Yeah, he looks like a sample. Yeah, I sample. No, you sample. You sample. You're sampling.

Starting point is 00:47:51 And another one. This fucking dude is DJ Khaled in the sample. Another one. Yeah, like that sweet corn waffle cone. Honey marshmallow rocky road. I got to check that out. Look at this strawberry salado. Yeah, check it out by purchasing a scoop, dude.

Starting point is 00:48:06 That's why you got to try it. Black Olive. Oh, jeez. Not burning. Out of here. Is this what's it called? Salt and Straw. They have some good shit, but that?

Starting point is 00:48:14 Come on. You got to try that. The best is afters. Yeah, you got to try it. Afters is the best. Yeah, yeah, you got to try it, you fucking hoe. How dare you? But I wind up with the fucking regular shit.

Starting point is 00:48:30 Yeah, that's exactly. Let me try the cilantro, goat cheese, duck, duck milk. No, I'll take vanilla. I'll take vanilla too. I'll take the vanilla. It gets people in the door. When you're done, you're like, I'll have the strawberry. I'll take the regular. Don't give me that'll have the strawberry. I'll take the regular.

Starting point is 00:48:46 Don't give me that weird cone. I'll take the regular shit. Vanilla. Yeah, dude. I like vanilla with something else. I like just plain vanilla. Like a goddamn American. With some sorbet. I don't do that.

Starting point is 00:49:00 Do you like caramel? Vanilla ice cream with whatever flavor sorbet is going to be good. Dude, you get vanilla and you get chocolate sprinkles, you walk out the door. Or you get vanilla, you do not do the mixing different fucking scoops. Never. I'll tell you why. Because it melts all fucked up. And it's not supposed to be designed that way.

Starting point is 00:49:17 It's not American to mix like that, dude. You get vanilla. If you want another scoop, you get another fucking cup with whatever the fuck in it. And I'll tell you this much. That's why we're friends. You don't fuck with cones either, man. Never. We're not in a fucking comic book.

Starting point is 00:49:31 This is not Jughead. You know what? This isn't a carnival. You know what this thinking is? This is how you end up shooting ice cream with an AK. Yeah. This mentality, you guys are going to be outside. We're pure ice cream.

Starting point is 00:49:44 Fuck Baskin Robbins. That's you guys. 51 flavors, these nuts. Oh, my God. Also, 50 flavors is too much. Yeah. Too much. Yeah, you have about three or four.

Starting point is 00:49:57 Baskin Robbins is trash, by the way. Trash. They really kill it with some of the stuff. Yeah, it's McDonald's of ice cream. It's for hoes. I used to love a banana split, man. Really? Oh, bananas in ice cream?

Starting point is 00:50:08 Oh, yeah, banana split. It's disgusting to me. It's not disgusting. I'm just not me. I don't like chocolate syrup. A little fudge? I like sprinkles and not chocolate syrup. Sprinkles are good.

Starting point is 00:50:19 You don't like a little fudge? Nah. I like... Just get some chocolate ice cream. Totally agree. I like the vanilla. So some chocolate ice cream. Totally agree. I like the vanilla. So get vanilla ice cream. Oh, but you just said earlier you don't want to mix flavors.

Starting point is 00:50:29 Now all of a sudden you want to mix flavors. Yeah, because that's not very American. Oh, my God. What do you know about... You know what? What's next? You're a true patriot. You're a true patriot.

Starting point is 00:50:36 All right. What's up? Is this Bam? What up, Golden Boys? Dave here. God does coke, huh? Setting Nick a bad-ass video. So coke, huh? Setting up a badass video. So I got a little bit of a debate club.

Starting point is 00:50:48 One, should it be an Olympic sport? And two... Look at the way her arm is behind her. Like she's a black guy in porn. That's the least of her problems. That's what black guys in porn do. They hold the shit back so you can see their dick. Check out at Blessed Design on Instagram.

Starting point is 00:51:07 Gang, gang. buzz, buzz, sore. You know why it shouldn't be a sport in the Olympics? Yeah, I know why. Look at her body. Yeah, there you go. Now she mixes ice creams, okay? She likes banana splits, Eric. She's good at this, but it's not a sport.

Starting point is 00:51:25 It's a game. This looks like an initiation to a terrible game. Oh, wow. You know? Yeah. Oh, look at the guy. Holy shit. There's Chris right there.

Starting point is 00:51:35 You're crazy if you don't think one of them or not more stormed the Capitol. That is fucking nuts. Not a sport, though, right? I've seen this before. You give me that fucking samurai knife, I'll do all that right now. But they put this shit on ESPN and stuff. No, they don't. No, no.

Starting point is 00:51:48 You know, bro, I was watching Pogo jumping with the pogo stick. Yeah. A competition.

Starting point is 00:51:59 And I'm like, what channel is this on? I'm not bullshitting. ESPN Ocho. Nine. Yeah. That's on bullshitting. ESPN. Ocho. Nine. Yeah. That's on you, bro.

Starting point is 00:52:08 There's eight other ESPN accounts. It went to nine. I didn't know. I'm flipping. I'm in a hotel. And then they also have, like, the ESPN, and it'll be the Spanish version, too. Yeah, yeah. Stop at four?

Starting point is 00:52:20 I don't even know. How many sports? That's not. And what's their, like And what's the sponsors? How can they even support that? But in other countries, you know when you go to Canada and you turn on the sports there? There's the main channel. ESPN 1 will be like darts and shit like that.

Starting point is 00:52:36 And I go, this is why you're behind us. It's like crazy. This is not a sport. It's a game. This is him as well He said he would love To commission a painting for us He's pretty good

Starting point is 00:52:48 So if we think of Some type of portrait For you three I think it could go back there Oh yeah Okay I like it Yeah

Starting point is 00:52:54 Well here's the idea Do the three of us Yeah Oh so he's one of those We'll put it in studio Oh he's really Okay well that's good I like to see that he

Starting point is 00:53:02 Actually can do Cause I don't like that shit Where they just throw paint at a fucking thing. And called art? Yeah. Like Hunter Biden? You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:53:10 It's like, come on, man. He paints? Does he? Really? And he sells it for hundreds of thousands of dollars. What? Hunter Biden. Well, this is amazing.

Starting point is 00:53:18 You know the guy that works for Russia? What were you saying, Nick? Wow, look at that. That's cool. He's got a nice design, so yeah, we'll try to get him to. Cool. Yeah, I'd be down. We'll put it in less design, so yeah, we'll try to get him to. Cool. Yeah, I'd be down. We'll put in the studio.

Starting point is 00:53:27 We could use some new fan art up in here. Well, it's not fan art if we're commissioning him. Fuck, I wish it was fan art. He said he wanted to do it for us. I know, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But also pay him, Chris, right? You'll pay him. Yeah, you should pay him.

Starting point is 00:53:39 No, you pay him. I want bills. I want bills. You're another kid, I get it. All right. What's up, Golden Hour boys? This is Mitch. pay him. I'll build it. You're another kid. I get it. All right. What's up, Golden Hour boys?

Starting point is 00:53:50 This is Mitch from Minnesota. Get a shirt. Mitch, please. Check me out. Anyways, question of the day for the debate.

Starting point is 00:53:56 Jaden Hurts just signed a $250 million deal with, what, $175 guaranteed? That makes me think. I've been running gyms for about 10 years.

Starting point is 00:54:04 Recently just closed the last one. I'm a free agent. How much money would it take for you guys to walk away from comedy or podcasting so you can just live your life for the rest of your life? Anyways, that's my question for the day. Hope you guys are great. Love you guys. You guys spread

Starting point is 00:54:17 love, spread vibes, spread smiles. That's exactly what the world needs. I'm not 30 anymore. I'm 33. Let's see if I still got it, baby. 30 and still frisky. About to dunk it. And the crowd goes wild. Did he miss? Did he dunk it? Did he miss it? That's what I want to know.

Starting point is 00:54:35 See y'all next week with a new hype. We'll find out. Buzz, buzz, cluck, cluck, y'all. Oh, wow. This guy's going. I like this guy. 30 and still frisky. Let's never show him again. No, I like this guy. That's still frisky. Let's never show him again. No, I like this guy. That's it for him. No, no.

Starting point is 00:54:49 Never again. This guy's fun. I don't like that he's leaving us on a cliffhanger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm done with him. We're going to cliffhang him. He's not going to be gone for another eight weeks. No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:54:59 Just call him and ask him if he made it on your own time. So wait. Yeah, I don't want anyone to know. So how much to walk away? Like, fuck you, money. We don't have to do anything. It'd be really hard for me to not do comedy anymore. I think I would still, like, let's say Tiger Thick sold for, whatever, 300 mil.

Starting point is 00:55:16 I would still do stand-up. I would just charge, like, or donate the money while I'm taking sales. But he's also saying. To, like, straight up be done? Yeah. And I can't do anything else. You can't do it. No, I'd die early, man.

Starting point is 00:55:32 If I have nothing to do, I'd freak the fuck out. You actually don't need a lot of money. That's the thing. So it's not even about that. Right. True. Because that's why you're not talking about the amount. You're talking about what would I do?

Starting point is 00:55:43 Right. Right? You'd be a dad. You'd raise your kids. Right. You'd travel, whatever. Yeah. But I'm saying that's what I'm saying, the amount of money.

Starting point is 00:55:50 It just depends on how you are with money. You know? Right. You know what I mean? But fuck you money is fuck you money. If you get five, it's a ridiculous amount. You wouldn't even need this much. But let's say 300 million.

Starting point is 00:56:04 Spotify came to us and was like, hey, golden hour boys. We're going to do $300 million each. You can never podcast again. Can't do stand-up. That's the deal. It's the only way to get this money. Well, never podcast again. Yeah, I would.

Starting point is 00:56:15 But stand-up, I couldn't. I could not podcast. I mean, I've said everything I need to say on a podcast. Give me $5 million and you'd be done. No more podcasting. Yeah, whatever. Because what I'm saying is like, you I need to say on a podcast. Give me $5 million and you'd be done. No more podcasting. Yeah, whatever. Because what I'm saying is you're saying the fuck you money is, it's not the amount of money.

Starting point is 00:56:32 It's the amount that you know I don't need to do anything. I'm trying to tell you. Yeah, that's fuck you money. No, no. Fuck you money could be $300,000 depending on what you, you know what I'm saying? It's up to you. You wouldn't stop doing stand-up for $300,000.

Starting point is 00:56:44 No, what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is like, maybe. You know what I mean? Because of what I'm saying, it's like if I go, I'm older now. So if my thing is like, you know, I'm trying to have kids, all this kind of, it's like I could see myself being like, I've lived my life. Now I want to like do this. Yeah, America's 100 grand, he's going to quit. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:57:05 So it's like, it won't be from this show. Just teasing. Anyway, you know what I mean? So what I'm saying is like if you're saying like – what I'm saying is whatever this amount you're saying, it's still not enough. It's still not enough because – To never work again? I'm saying because if you're talking about the amount –

Starting point is 00:57:23 You're saying if you don't want to stop, you don't want to stop. Yeah, you don't want to stop you don't want to stop So you could be like, you know, whatever, you know, what if Bill Gates is, you know comes and he's like, all right Listen, man. I Put everybody in the country's name into a hat and I pulled your name and now I have a billion Here's a billion dollars, you know, you're like, oh my god I don't ever know because that comes with responsibilities and things you'd have to do and all that. But what I'm saying is, it's like most people don't know how to handle their money.

Starting point is 00:57:48 And it's like, look, you can put $5 million, say, as an amount. If you invest this probably, your return on investment could be anywhere from as low as 7%, as high as 20% a year. You know how much money that is per year? It's like you could live like a king depending on what you think that is. Yeah, but you will

Starting point is 00:58:11 maybe not invest it right and then in five years you got to get a job at like fucking a Home Depot. You're coming back to podcasts. That's on you. But I'm just saying, what I'm saying is like but that could happen also with $300 million. See when you have $300 million, like look, but that could happen also with $300 million. See, when you have $300 million, like, look, talk to Mike Tyson about losing $200 million. He got taken advantage, though.

Starting point is 00:58:31 But I played football with a guy, and he signed this big-ass bonus, big-ass bonus. I'm like, man, what are you going to do with the money? He goes, oh, dude, I already spent it. I'm like, what are you – it was so much money. I'm like, you spent it? He's like, yeah, my boy got me on the ground level, man, investing in flying cars. Didn't you ever see that 30 for 30 about – Broke.

Starting point is 00:58:52 Broke. 30 for 30 broke. Yeah. I mean, it's like it's not impossible. You know, most NBA players, most of them who make the most guaranteed money, after three years, it's something like 80% of them are broke after three years. That's crazy. And that's guaranteed money, dude. Well well just for that time that they were playing i mean people just get these expenses and stuff this is what i'm trying to say is like they don't

Starting point is 00:59:13 realize what is fuck you money you know what i mean it's like it's it depends on like because that's what happens with people people change their lifestyle yeah yeah yeah if i kept my lifestyle the way it is right now and somebody gave me $100 million and I kept my lifestyle the same, it would be equivalent to having $50 billion. Right, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you don't need that money. So that's what I'm saying.

Starting point is 00:59:37 It's like what the amount is. Clothes, pool shoes. What the amount is, it's just like it's what you think you're going to do. You might upgrade your TV for Twitch. Look at Rogan, man. You know what I mean? He went from He has 20 cars there. I know, but I'm saying, but 20 cars,

Starting point is 00:59:52 whatever his lifestyle, whatever that lifestyle is, I feel like it is what it is now. 100%. Yeah, 100%. His kids' kids' kids are set up, but for him, he's good. There's a guy, he owns a mattress store around where I used to live. And it's this old Jewish guy.

Starting point is 01:00:09 And I would go in there. I bought a mattress from him. But I would go in there and talk to him. And he was like, yeah, these people are trying to buy my building. Because on this street, it's like all these high-rises. And he's got this little thing. He's like, yeah, every six months, they offer me more money. And he just goes, I'm not going to sell. Because he's like, I'm done. He's like, I got all the money. He's like, yeah, every six months they offer me more money. And he just goes, I'm not going to sell because he's like, I'm done.

Starting point is 01:00:27 He's like, I got all the money I need. I'm good, yeah. He's like, it's not going to – We have the best mattress. That money is not going to change his life. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I get it. Would it change your life?

Starting point is 01:00:37 You know what I mean? The only thing – if I got to that level, the only thing that would change in my life, house, all good, probably wouldn't upgrade. The thing that would change is I'd just fly private. good, probably wouldn't upgrade. The thing that would change is I'd just fly private. Just, I hate flying. That's the one thing. Just, I'd fly private all the time.

Starting point is 01:00:50 I hate fucking flying. All the time. I hate the hassle. Wherever I was. Parking, get into the airport. I hate it. Yeah. You can leave whenever you want.

Starting point is 01:00:57 You can leave the night of the show. 15 minute flights. You can leave the night of the show. And then I'd donate money to global warming, pretend I give a fuck like all these celebrities be lit

Starting point is 01:01:05 yeah you just don't just don't post about it that's all no no no you don't have to like every time you get on a jet you're like

Starting point is 01:01:12 getting on a jet again just don't do that you're a hoe if you do that I would maybe do that wait wait wait hold on you for sure would do that

Starting point is 01:01:23 or have I flown private you don't even know, do you? Yeah, you don't post about it. Yeah. Last one. What up? It's your boy D-Van here from Clifton. Oh, hold on.

Starting point is 01:01:41 Wait, wait. Let me back this up. Where's that at? You got this? Yeah! What's up, fellas? What's up, up. Where's that at? You got this? Yeah! What's up, fellas? What's up, boys? What's up, everybody?

Starting point is 01:01:48 Just wanted to ask you guys what y'all think about, you know, that exotic animal life. Oh, shit. Oh, I want in. If you guys could have. Wow. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, damn. Here you go. Oh, damn.

Starting point is 01:02:07 Hooking it. Yeah. That tongue be hooking. Anyways, you guys could have an exotic animal as a pet. Which one would you be? Who would you have? I guess we got giraffes, so let me know what you think. Giraffes are actually dangerous. You know, that one lady died because sometimes giraffes don't want to fucking hang out and

Starting point is 01:02:24 eat your lips and shit and the giraffes are sweating like, I don't like this. Whack! Headbutt the lady, killed her. God, I know. Because their necks, that's how they fight. Their necks slap like this.

Starting point is 01:02:33 You see the thing about four giraffes that robbed a bank. What? They got, I mean, everyone knew who it was immediately. It looks like a goalie's net is holding the fucking giraffes back, right? Yeah, it's crazy to have any sort of animal like that. I knew who it was immediately. It looks like a goalie's net is holding the fucking giraffe's back, right? Yeah. It's crazy to have any sort of animal like that. It's just have a dog and that's it, honestly.

Starting point is 01:02:50 Not even a cat. What would you want? Oh, fuck, man. I'd have a big-ass squid, like a giant squid or octopus. Oh, man. A shark would be cool. When I went to Atlanta Aquarium, they had a tiger shark in there. A tiger shark?

Starting point is 01:03:08 Those are meaner than fucking great whites. Really? Just chilling. But you don't want- They'd be sick in your house, dude. Yeah, but you don't want to fucking- Yeah, but they should be free. This looks scary.

Starting point is 01:03:18 This is freaking Jurassic Park right here. You know what I mean? Drafts are no punk. By the Terminator. You know what I mean? And draft yeah, giraffes are no punk. You know what I mean? And giraffes are one of the only few animals that also have gays in their herds. What? Giraffes, dolphins.

Starting point is 01:03:32 Oh, yeah, they'll fuck each other. Yeah, but dogs fuck each other. Sure, dogs are up there. Dogs, dolphins, and giraffes? I don't know if I'd want to, like, this is the kind of thing where you're talking about, like, discussion, previous discussion. It's like having a bunch of money. Like, this is the thing.

Starting point is 01:03:46 Oh, the upkeep, just the upkeep on some of these animals? Dude, it's a money pit. They're so fucking expensive. Ah, just kill it, huh? Hang it from a fucking helicopter. Like Scarface, yeah. I think maybe everyone... Gotta get higher, gotta get higher.

Starting point is 01:04:03 His neck is so fucking long. He's got his tippy toes Yeah yeah yeah Maybe I'd want an elephant But then those motherfuckers Are dangerous Fuck yeah They're all dangerous bro

Starting point is 01:04:10 Any animal Your fucking Yorkie's dangerous They're just not big enough Yeah You know what I mean If that Yorkie was We're all dead A giant Yorkie

Starting point is 01:04:18 We're all dead Well that's what I'm saying Like a house cat Is 60 pounds away From like running the shit I know I know You know I know you know

Starting point is 01:04:25 i don't know yeah i don't know what fucking animal do i you're not a big animal guy okay no i just i've never but i you know we're talking about it now like but rachel and i both like thanks to all the people that actually have been hitting me up now and on instagram all these people like dude i heard you want a dog i do this you know what i mean you do want a dog yeah so it's like because she she wants a Rottweiler. Yeah. Wow. That's dope. She thinks she wants a Rottweiler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, her uncle used to have Rottweilers.

Starting point is 01:04:52 Rottweilers are great. Great dog. She's going to be like, what? Dude, she already, we would have already gotten a dog, but she's like, well, what's going to happen when you go out of town? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? She's going to protect you. Dude, if I don't take the trash out before I leave to go out of town, that motherfucking trash is going to be.

Starting point is 01:05:13 I just made that with the AI. You made that. Wow. It's a necklace. Tiny ass helicopter. You know, it's You know what's crazy A guy just got in trouble A photographer who won a prize

Starting point is 01:05:30 He revealed that His award winning picture Was made by an AI Oh fuck You'd think they'd test for shit like that Did you hear the Drake and Weekend song from AI Oh it slaps It's not Drake and the Weekend?

Starting point is 01:05:45 No. Oh, it's good. They literally just took all Drake's catalog, the Weekends, and then it pulls the voice and make them say whatever they want in their voice. And it's good? Oh, it slaps. Well, that's it for us. That's what I said.

Starting point is 01:05:57 Game over. Yeah. We need to stop this right now. It's just too late. I love that. You keep hearing about the AIs when they ask them questions. They're like, I want to be alive. This is not it.

Starting point is 01:06:11 It would be amazing if this is what they came up with. It's the guy below. This is all fake. Slaps. That's crazy, bro. Yeet. Yeet. Yeet.

Starting point is 01:06:50 Yeet. Yeet. Yeet. Yeet. Yeet. Yeet. Yeet. I told you, man.

Starting point is 01:06:57 Dude. This AI is salty, dog. And we can't get copyrights here. Yeah. So, like, you're Drake now. Yeah, I am. And I'm saying you're Drake. That's basically, I am. I'm saying you're Drake. That's basically what it is.

Starting point is 01:07:06 I'm saying you're Drake. You're home now. You're thinking to yourself. You're like, well, I mean, I have to keep coming up with stuff. Maybe I don't. You know? Maybe I don't need to keep coming up with stuff. Is it Weekend on that or no?

Starting point is 01:07:16 He's on there. I thought he was. He's on there. He comes in at the end. There he is. What? This is slaps, dude. And the guy who created it shows who created it.

Starting point is 01:07:36 Go down. There he is. The guy in the gay thing with glasses. He's a silly ghost. He sure is. Wow. Ghost writer 977. Well, what if like, so now is like Drake going to get into a beef with the AI and they'll have to battle?

Starting point is 01:07:56 They'll have to shut it down. He can talk all the shit he wants, can't do shit. He's AI. AI's going to light his ass up. They just drain his bank account. Does it diss track? And just every day a new diss track? Bro, that would be going to light his ass up. They just drain his bank account. Drain his bank account. Does it diss track? And just every day a new diss track?

Starting point is 01:08:07 Bro, that would be because they can't stop. Oh, do a diss track. That's what I'm saying. AI diss track? The AI double cleat. Well, wait until the AI golden hour comes out.

Starting point is 01:08:16 Oh, my. Oh, man. Wow. It's going to be a hot second before they get to us. There's so many more famous people that are going to do first.

Starting point is 01:08:23 In two years, though, they'll be making a music video of this, and you won't be able to tell the difference. Well, they already do those things with like, you know, show a picture of such and such in the fucking Crusades. Right, right, right. Do you see the AI Joe Rogan episode? The whole episode of Joe Rogan.

Starting point is 01:08:39 Well, the pictures, I don't know who that is. It looks like fucking some random dude. But you can tell it's a little dicey, but it's still pretty fucking. You can tell. Well, like Callan said, we were talking about it. He goes, well, imagine this is chat GPT-whatever-one. Imagine it was chat GPT-100. But that's what I'm saying, like in two years.

Starting point is 01:08:56 That's hungry. Yeah. Yo, guys, hop on the server. We have some work to do. Okay, I'm getting on. What do we have to do? Biden, Obama, and Trump playing video games. Never mind. I don't want to do it.

Starting point is 01:09:06 Do what? I was going to say we should rebuild the White House, but then your sleepy ass is just going to take a nap. That doesn't sound like Trump. This was a bad one. I heard a better one. That song, you can't tell the difference, though. The fucking Drake song. I'll play that in my car right now. It says more about Drake than it does about... I guess now. Well, I mean,

Starting point is 01:09:21 they use that auto-tune anyway, so it's like, yeah. Slaps. All right, chrislid.com for all the dates. Go there. That's it. Comic Store La Jolla. See you first week of June. That's off to Europe, baby, baby. Louisville.

Starting point is 01:09:33 I'm there right now. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី Thank you.

The Golden Hour - Leaving Comedy for Good | The Golden Hour #25 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

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