The Golden Hour - Magic is Officially Dead

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

FULL EPISODE: https://patreon.com/KATSPlus The guys talk magic shows, David Copperfield rumors, turning tragedies into movies, freeway etiquette, sleeping naked, perineum sunning, tech decking and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I never wash my hands any time. Regardless, me neither. I go pee. It's my dick. I don't wash my hands before or after. Ever. Not never. And I stand by that.

Me too. And I never will. As a matter of fact, I'll go one further. When I take a number two, I don't wash my hands. Yes, you do. You piece of shit. You can't even say that with a straight face. You ever met this guy?

Oh, I'm the dumb one. You can't argue. There's something about me. You have no idea what you're saying. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. So. Did this guy get stung by a bee?

This guy? I like the. I like the. I can't figure out. Is he keto or not? What did you say, Chris? He got stung by a bee. This guy?

He's swelling. He looks like my agent's swelling looks like my agent looks like my agent to a t oh my god doesn't he have an allergic reaction to something he does look like he has a smaller face yeah it looks like he had a smaller face he just he ate something and he's like i need my epi pen he just got done working out also is, is it 1999 with that fucking thing? Is that a Bluetooth? I have the same. Oh, come on, Chan. I know.

All right. What's up, guys? This is Trevor from Chattanooga, Tennessee. I got a debate club for you guys today. Guys who make tech deck videos for Instagram, you know, the little finger skateboards, or guys who rev the shit out of their cars all day long. Dude, that drives me nuts. My wife says she would take the car guy because it's easier to explain that your boyfriend's into cars

and he makes little finger skateboard videos for Instagram. This guy's funny. Yeah, I personally say it's going to be the car guy until he kickflips that pussy. That's what you tell me. Until he what? Kickflips that pussy because the car. Oh, wow. That earpiece is ridiculous.

He's got this one with the thing here and then there's another thing here. I'm a fan. I'm a fan of this. Nothing triggers me more than guys in cars revving. I tell myself when we go to the car show,

I go, that's for guys who are really insecure. You know what's worse than the cars though? The loud ass motorcycles too. Same thing though. guys who are really insecure. You know what's worse than the cars, though? He's like, you mean guys with small dicks? The loud-ass motorcycles, too. Same thing, though. That's horrible because it's constant. But you know why motorcycles are so loud, yeah?

So you hear them. They're perfectly, obnoxiously loud so you can hear them on the road. But it's still too loud. When you're in an idle... I'm like, what are you doing, dude? Also, you didn't build the cars like when when you're in the idle and i'm like what are you doing dude they got a lot also you didn't build the car why are you flat when we go to the car show and guys are like you like my ferrari it's like you didn't build it are you acting like it's pretty funny

actually you have nothing to do with it yeah you just bought it yeah why are you acting like this they want to show it's like security at the club they're all arrogant like you don't know in the club dude you're in minimum oh God. This is a real thing? No, it's not. Is that a real fucking thing, Nick? That's what he was talking about. What's worse? Oh, well, this. He sent in two versions. One, he said, who pulls more? Tech Tech Video guys or Loud Car guys?

Loud Car guys. Unless it's like a rice rocket. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can I tell you something? You know who is even worse in this video? I don't know, but this makes me want to leave this world. It's not these idiots doing this. It's the big crowd watching. Is there a crowd? Like there's a crowd watching.

That's such a good point, Eric. This makes me want to leave planet Earth. I get if Tony Hawk's doing it now because he's 70, so he's like, I can't do this anymore, so let me show you what I used to do. Yeah. It'd be great if, like, I'm doing it. I'm like, all right, look what I can't do, guys. But, like, they're like young kids who should be out doing shit in the world.

Bro, these videos have six, seven million views. Yeah, they're ironic views. Dude, if my son was it with Scott Innes, you know he can get a real fucking skateboard, yeah? You know you don't have to use your fingers. This is what Calvin's going to do this year. You know what, though? I'll tell you what.

I wonder what tricks these guys do when they masturbate. You know what I mean? No, the thing about this is- They're like- I don't like this. They make their dick go- I bet there's girls they're like, I don't like this. They make their dick go. I bet there's girls watching now like, ooh.

You just do it and stare it in the eyes. What else can you do with your fingers? They would be disappointed, though, and they'd be like, I thought it was going to be good. Where's your tricks? I would only like this if they put little pants on their fingers. And like little Vans? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like little Vans? Thank you.

There you go. Like if you're going if you're gonna do it i'm in do it i'm in but this is ridiculous but imagine meeting one of these guys like the number one guy at a bar he picks up some chick he's like a big event tomorrow baby a big event a big event she comes she's like this is it like the guys oh well this is the off-white Jordan 1s. Now I'm in. Now I'm in. See, now I'm in. Full circle. Now I'm in. He took it off with the other two fingers.

Oh, my God. He did like this. He goes like this. He took them off like this. Oh, my God. The Rodriguez dunks, too. Oh, no. Those are dope.

Oh, see, now I like it. Now I'm in. That's dope. Oh, yeah. Are you kidding? Oh, he can moonwalk. Oh, this is sick. Oh, that's the shit, yeah. Are you kidding? Oh, he can moonwalk. Oh, this is sick. Oh, that's the shit, bro.

This is ridiculous. Oh, Calvin would love this shit. Yeah, so would my kid. Is that even about the skateboarding anymore? I don't want my son to see this. Oh, my God. This is ridiculous. I'd rather my son watch ISIS beheading videos than discover this.

Oh, this is like. But also get a real skateboard, right? Don't work on your toy. This is funny, bro. Right, everybody? I want to see him skateboard in the pants. Oh, he's going to. He's just got to hook his board up, bro.

He's got to set it up, Nick. In this video, he's that. Oh! Oh, dude. Oh, look, he's going to the park now. You're crazy. Some fat kid didn't invent this. He was like, man, fuck your skateboards.

Check this out. Yeah, this would make more sense to me if it was just like, or if it was like, you know, special needs kids or like, you know, people that can't do certain things. Then I would get it and be like, but like, you're, look what I can't do is hilarious. If some skateboarder like lost his like, you're... Look what I can't do is hilarious. If some skateboarder lost his legs, I'm like, this is my new thing, man. It's my passion.

Oh, that's cool, man. Right! But then, do the real thing. The fact that there's people watching is what... I guess people will watch anything. I mean, look, they're watching us right now. You know what I mean? People will watch anything. It's the king and the sting.

Back up in the sting. I just got a call that said they want to hit the wing. They got me working OT all night long. How many times I got to make this song? Hey, hold on. What is this? Now y'all want to switch? I'll just add a Stevie and Eric and now y'all adding Chris.

How's that going to fit? Wait, I get the gist. I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this It's the king, the wing, and the sting It's the wing and the king and the sting Hold on, hold on Hold on, wait a minute, let me think It's the king and the sting and the wing Let's go

King and the sting and the wing Got it full circle, I put on the whole team Legendary trio, Brittany, Chris, and Theo, what you mean? You know it's the king and the sting and the wing