The Golden Hour - Medium Game Hunters | The Golden Hour #43 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: August 25, 2023

The guys talk about surviving Hurricane Hilary, the new woke Snow White, looks vs personality, Brendan breaking up an argument between Sam Tripoli and Bryan Callen during the show, potentially wearing knock-off clothes, their gym etiquette and workout routines, where they get their haircuts and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://Patreon.com/TheGoldenHourPodcast Draftkings - Code: Golden

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Cause I can show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour

It's the Golden Hour You know, you usually have a hat on or something like that. You're looking like Mr. Fantastic right now if you worked out. Is Mr. Fantastic cool? Or do I look like Captain Planet? No, no, you look like... Ah, you do look like Captain Planet. Because he works out do I look like Captain Planet? No, no. You look like... Ah! You do look like Captain Planet. Because he works out.

It's a Captain Planet. He got the little greys right here coming in. He's looking like, you know... Remember Mr. Fantastic? He's the one that stretch. Yeah. Yeah. In what...

X-Men. I don't know him. Was he a big character? Not X-Men. I'm sorry. Fantastic Four. Cut it. He's the leader of the Fantastic Four.

Cut it. Who are you? Cut it. When's the leader of the Fantastic Four. Cut it. Who are you? Cut it. When you get ready in the morning, do you just go like this? No. Oh, no. You go like this? Shave everything.

It's a whole process. Then you go. Be completely skinny. Just be bald? Yeah. Like Professor X? But first of all, by the way, I was in Atlantic City. I get on the plane to head home.

There's all this storm watch, storm alerts. Hurricane City. I get on the plane to head home. There's all this storm watch, storm alert. Hurricane shit. I get off the plane. It's beautiful in LA. Yeah. When did you get here, though? On Monday? No, yeah, Monday.

Sunday got a little dicey. Did you feel the earthquake? No, I didn't feel it. I did not feel the earthquake. It was an ohai, but that bitch was rocking. You felt it? Oh, yeah, yeah. My kid jumped under the table.

It's weird. I was like, bitch. But. My kid jumped under the table. It's weird. I was like, bitch. But it's weird that... I always think it's weird. It was like this. I always think that it's weird that you... Okay. That in Calabasas, you feel it.

And then where I am, you don't. It's not that far. I did not feel it. You're pretty far. Because it was an Ojai, so to get to us. Like, if there's one in, like, Malibu or Venice, I can feel it here. They shouldn't call it earthquake, then. They should call it, like, you know.

I mean, the word earth makes you think, like. Earthquake. That the whole earth was going to. Yeah, dude, I didn't feel it at all. Oh, so you wanted to call it California quake? Well, no, I think that they should call it. Stupid, bro. It's called a local quake or something. You know what I mean?

Local quake. That shit was rocking, though. Sounds like. Like, it shouldn't be something. You know what I mean? Local quake. That shit was rocking, though. It shouldn't be called Earthquake. Sounds like a ska band. Local quake. Right? I live in the hills. I live in the hill.

I live in the hills. And it's absolutely. It's absolutely. No, that's not a flex. It's worse. The hills are flex. It's haunted, though. Hills is haunted.

No, but the streets. I mean, dude, it was a river down there. Yeah. I enjoy the river. I know, but I got off the plane. I had a sweater on thinking. I was like, it was morning hot. Because it was awesome on Monday.

Yeah, Monday was good. Because they thought it was going to last kind of in Monday, but it stopped at 7 a.m. Hey, you know what's triggering for me? When you go, man, this rain, and people go, fuck, we need it. We don't need it anymore, yeah. I can't stand that. I think we had that one, that storm we had like a couple months ago. In June.

We had more rain than we've gotten in five years. But also, there hasn't been a drought in a long time. We're good, right? No, no, we were droughting bad. We were? It was showing that whatever that reservoir thing is. It was showing fake news. Yeah.

Oh, my God. No, but there was fires. Remember the fires? It was so bad. You at rabbit hole dot com. Is that where you got to come again? Dude, how did you wear that shirt for my mom? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what? My mom texted me. You need to tell Eric to keep wearing those shirts. Oh, really? Mom trying to smash. That's hilarious.

Mama trying to fuck. I said, oh, I'm trying to get it. I'll relay the message, but take it easy. That's a Halloween shirt. It's hard to watch. I'm not interested, Rachel. She watches the podcast now. Oh, now she watches, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her and Kristen text. You should watch this episode. Blah, blah, blah. Yep. That's nice. Yeah. That is cute.

They're cute. Well, they're four of our female followers, so I appreciate the support. Can we count the babies so we can get more followers? The babies inside of Count. Rachel is like, she's good. Chubby. I love it. You love it?

You like when she gets a little thicker? Yeah. I like the thickness. She's got great personality. That's the main reason why I'm with her. That's sweet. It's not why I started dating her. But yeah, because you look and you go, oh, nice. And then the personality is just icing on with her. Oh, that's sweet. You know? That's sweet. It's not why I started dating her. But yeah, because you know, you look and you go, oh, nice.

Yeah. Well, yeah. And then the personality is just icing on the cake. No, no, no. But I'm saying it's like, but you go, also go, oh, you know. Oh, you're not a demon? Yeah. This is basically what it is for a guy.

Oh, you don't suck? Cool. Yeah. You know? We'll start with that. Anything extra, great. I know you don't remember this movie, but I don't know if you remember Boomerang. Yeah.

With Eddie Murphy. And he's like in bed with the girl and he's like pulling the covers so he could check her feet. Yeah. Oh, great. I know you don't remember this movie, but I don't know if you remember Boomerang. Yeah. With Eddie Murphy. And he's in bed with the girl, and he's pulling the covers so he can check her feet. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's how we are about personality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just like, please don't be stupid. Just don't suck.

Don't be a complete. Yeah, please don't be a complete monster. Yeah, don't be a monster. You know? This is a lot of girls' personality. Guys, too. I mean, I'm not. Can you imagine being, if your girlfriend was that girl who's playing Snow White?

You ever watch the videos on her Bro Somebody's dating that thing Wait what do you mean Oh she's just the worst Personality wise Oh man I mean

The new Snow White is what you're talking about Oh man That they're making They didn't make it yet Okay well she's obviously Yeah okay here we go Oh let's talk Let's hear it

Let's see She changed it to Snow Brown She's like we don't need men involved in this. The love story. That's not how this is going to go. Vicky Chen. Chen got that one. Play it.

Let's see. I saw a little clip. I saw like a blurb on it. So let's see how terrible it actually is. But also, what is she fucking? She's 47 years old. She could be. No.

Her mouth is so big, right? And what do you call it? What is she saying? Make it so we can hear it. Guys suck. Guys suck. Blah, blah, blah. Guys suck.

Make it so we can hear it. Is this like a caller? Every hour that it is streamed online. Go back. Go back. I was scared of the original. You know how bad this movie is going to eat shit? I am going to not.

And very evidently so. There is a big focus on her love story with a guy who literally stalks her. Yeah! Weird, weird. So we didn't do that this time. Cast a guy in the movie, Andrew Burnap, great dude. All of Andrew's scenes could get cut, who knows? It's Hollywood, baby. I'm gonna stand there 18 hours in a dress of an iconic Disney princess. I'm gonna be there to be paid for every hour that it is streamed online. 18 hours in a dress of an iconic Disney princess. I was scared of the original cartoon.

I think I watched it once and then I never picked it up again. Like, I'm being so serious. I watched it once and then I went on the ride in Disney World, which was called Snow White's Scary Adventures. Doesn't sound like something a little kid would like. Was terrified of it. Blame your parents, ho. So I watched it for the first time in probably 16, 17 years when I was doing this film.

It's no longer 1937. And we absolutely wrote a Snow White. She's not going to be saved by the prince. She's not going to be saved by the prince. So we absolutely wrote a Snow White that's not going to make any money. She's dreaming about becoming the leader she knows she can be. And the leader that her late father told her that she could be So we absolutely wrote a Snow White that's not going to make any money. Can you imagine hanging out with her? I like duet.

You can stop it. Don't stop it. Even the head of Disney is like's like oh this is too much it's about coming into her own power before she can come into power over a kingdom she's not going to be saved by the prince and she's the proactive one and she's the one who said the terms i give her a pass because she's so hot relevant also she's not saying what the other person is saying she's just like saying one talking point. Even she was like, Jesus. But hold on.

Hold on. How old is this person? If she's 30, she's talking like somebody who's like 15 talks. Well, she said she hasn't watched in 16 years. I bet she's mid-20s. 22. That's pretty young. Yeah. That's pretty young. Yeah.

Here's my thing. Can't be that stupid. It's like, you know what the thing is? Don't make Snow White. How about make a new movie? Yeah, but the property is so, they're going to fuck it up. No, no, no. But that movie's going to eat all the dead.

No, no, no. But here's the thing. That wasn't like a remake or something like that. Yeah, exactly. It wasn't a remake, and it was like a movie that was made for women, speaking for women, and I'm fine with that. And look at the elves, the seven dwarves. What about them?

Oh. Well, they're tall. One's an actual elf in the front. What are we? Doors. Yeah, listen. This is going to be a disaster. I can't wait.

This is going to be a disaster. This is going to be a disaster because, like, first of all, Disney, I don't know why they feel so guilty because they are massively overcorrecting. Yeah, right. And it's like, we just want shit to make sense. Yeah. That's all. Well, I think they're overcorrecting because Walt Disney was a non-sync sympathizer. Yeah, they're like, what's it going to do to make everyone happy?

Yeah, but he made some lit-ass cartoons. No, but the thing is, look, look. If the story is so outdated, then make a new story. Yeah. But not call it Snow White. No, no, but it's like there's nothing wrong with like... They should have called her Snow Brown, honestly. Yeah, exactly.

Snow Black. That could have been cool. Snow Brown. That's what I was going to say. Snow Brown. Don't do... Snow Black. Snow Brown, honestly. Yeah, exactly. Snow Black. That could have been cool. Snow Brown. That's what I was saying. Snow Brown. Don't do Snow Brown. Snow Brown is better. Don't make the joke worse by tagging it worse.

Well, no. You want Snow Black. Why? Because... Explain why. Yeah, yeah. Let's hear this. Why?

Because you want views, right? Yeah. Snow Black. It's exaggerated. Brown. That can be anything. Is she Indian? But that's why it's Snow Brown. You don't know what's exaggerated. Brown, that can be anything. Is she Indian? But that's why it's snow brown.

You don't know what she is. Oh, fuck, dude. We want black. No, I want snow mixed. Snow mixed? Mixed snow? Mixed snow. That'd be the name of it.

But that's coming to Fox. How about just rain? Dude, I feel really weird about this whole snow white thing. Me too. Because it's like, first of all, let's just rain. Dude, I feel really weird about this whole Snow White thing. Me too. Because it's like, first of all, let's say this. I am not against anything where the female character is the hero, the star, she's a boss, whatever, right? That's not what this story was. Snow White was like the prince was rescuing her,

and it's like, well, is there something wrong with that now? How come? So, also, what about giving, so this is Bumble?

Small people jobs. Let's just call it Snow Bumble. What do they call them now? Can't say midget? Small people. What about giving midgets jobs? No, you can't, you can't say midget.

I don't give a fuck anymore, dude. After this, they're midgets. Fire job? No, I'm kidding, but,

why don't they give small, what do they fucking call them now? Midgets, I don't give a fuck anymore, dude. After this, they're midgets. Fire you up? No, I'm kidding. But why don't they give small... What do they fucking call them now? Midgets. I don't know. Small person? So the seven dwarves are an insult. So this is what... Imagine...

Wait, wait. Can I say something before you guys... But midgets are like, what the fuck? Where is it going to work? No, no. This isn't fair. Oh, God. Grab the phone.

I need to call someone. It's Gollum? This movie... Why do you think they talk like that? They don't? You've met Brad Williams, right? He talks like that. I don't want to hear none of this. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not getting it. I don't want to hear none of this. You still see him? Yeah, I still got to see those guys. I like Brad, man. Okay. Shut your face. What direction are you looking when you see him?

Yeah. Oh, man. Down. I'm face. What direction are you looking when you see him? Yeah. Oh, man. Down. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. You're the worst. But Willy Wonka, didn't they just do computer? Brad Williams should have been in this.

For real. Why the fuck? Is that taking jobs from people? I'm about to say something. Go ahead. Go ahead. I'm a small person. No.

If you're Disney and you're like, what movie should we make live action next? Snow white and the seven dwarves should have been the very last on the list. Okay. Cause one, you see Peter Dinklage is saying like, this is insulting to dwarves to just, to just have seven doors. Right.

Right. So they're like, okay, so that's like, okay, let's get that out of here. You can't win. You can't win.

You can't win. And then you've got like, you know, this, they said, well, let's make her Brown. And then she's coming up. I'm asking you, you're's like, okay, let's get that out of here. You can't win. You can't win. Yeah, you can't win. And then you've got like, you know, this, they said, well, let's make her brown. And then she's coming. I imagine you're like the executive of this thing. She's out here saying all this stuff.

You've got to be like, what are you doing? We're trying to get people to come watch this movie. But Bob Eager, is it Bob Eager? Yeah. Like, his issue is all this stuff hasn't worked out. Like, once you go woke, you go broke. So Disney's just they're bleeding money like a motherfucker. So if you're going to do it, just

make it regular. Deal with the backlash and you're making money. They may not be bleeding money. They are. All the movies they've come out with have eaten shit. Eaten shit because they're going this direction. Yeah, except for you know they make money off the, don't they have amusement parks and shit like Disneyland and all that?

Yeah. They make the most money off their merch. They make a lot of money doing that shit. I don't know. I don't know. So that was... The past five years. It went up and then down, right?

Well, no. It's been going down. The past five years, though. Yeah. It's down. But I just... I don't know. It's super weird that they would choose that movie to remake.

Yeah. It's super weird. If you can do it, just leave it. Especially with all these issues. Agreed. It's like, okay. Yeah. It's super weird that they would choose that movie to remake. Yeah, it's super weird. If you're going to do it, just leave it. Especially with all these issues. Agreed. It's like, okay. Yeah. It's like, all right, you know, so I get, look, look, the thing with Barbie was like,

they were very, the director was very adamant that they don't get together in the end. Spoiler alert. Barbie? Yeah, Barbie and Ken don't kiss. Motherfucker. I knew that. Spoiler alert. I haven't seen it.

Whatever. I've never seen it. Whatever. I've never seen it. You know what? That's the best acting you've ever done. You thought I was real? I was like, very good for you. That was good for you. Can we take a little break?

Can you stop playing the air guitar with your wiener? Okay. Because listen, you've waited all year, and the time has finally arrived. College football is back, baby. So are the traditions, the tailgates, and the great offers from DraftKings Sportsbook see you buffs let's do it Dion time prime time right now new customers can score $200 in bonus bets instantly instantly when they bet just $5 on any college football bet you got USC playing this weekend you got UCLA you got my see you buffs about to be badass kick off the season with drafting

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resort kansas 21 or older in most eligible states but age varies by jurisdiction see draftkings.com sportsbook for details and state-specific responsible gaming resources bonus bets expire seven days after issuance eligibility and deposit restrictions apply terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com slash football term. Guess who's on the Adam Carolla show? Sean Astin. Encino Man, which I can't imagine you remember,

but that was Brendan Fraser's kind of most popular movie, breakout movie. Know it well. Never saw Lord of the Rings, seen Encino Man more times than I can. Well, you've seen Encino Man 15 times. I know. It does a lot of ideas.

Kikwi Kwan, who was then going as Daniel Kwan, had a small little part in that movie. It was Pauly Shore, and then I was the kind of straight man to Pauly and Brendan. The fact that these two guys, I actually posted a picture of the two of them, of Brendan and Ki shaking hands,

and then in the background, me and Pauly, small in the background, are like, huh? And for them to find a part that people would love, I'm just so proud of them, so grateful. Now it's between me and Pauly who's going to get the next one. The Adam Carolla Show, wherever finer podcasts are found. So what I'm saying is like, okay, that's the direction you want to go.

I get that. Not every woman has to be a damsel in distress but just make a movie that's about that you know amy schumer is supposed to be the original barbie yeah i wish that came out no way yeah she was bring it up nicholas they were gonna do a movie barbie she said it's not it's not woke enough for me it's woke enough if she's in it. Trust me. What are you talking about? Exactly. That's the wokest thing ever if you're in it. Yeah. But they already have like weird. You're a fat Barbie.

Yeah. They already have weird Barbies though. Weird Barbie. In the thing, right? Yeah. There's weird Barbies already in there. That's it. That's it.

Check, please. Yeah. Nah, man. Amy Schumer was one of the many women rumored to be playing Barbie. If you're a fat Barbie, it's woke. It's woke enough. Yeah. Who's going to be Ken?

Yeah. Well, me. That's what I'm saying. Who's going to be Ken? If she's Barbie, I'm Ken. Kevin James? Yeah. You know what's so funny?

It's like as if Disney and these kind of things, they act like people have forgotten what they they're attracted to their preference it should be okay to have a preference okay oh yeah and right now it's only okay for women to have a preference yeah yeah yeah tall tall not yeah yeah because the women can do like whatever they want god forbid guy goes oh i like big tits you know you're a pig if we want the girl to be i you know i want her to be chin level you know what i mean whatever you know it's like it's like we can't have any kind of perfect because then we're a monster right right but these you let women start talking about short

guys oh broke guys or you know whatever the thing is asians yeah you. That's a fetish, though, isn't it? Aren't you a fetish? Well, the girls are, not the guys. Yeah. It's like. No one talks about the Asian male. Can we just be quiet for a second? Sam is beating Brian Callen next door over a conspiracy. Brian's a CIA player.

You think they'll hear it? Yeah. You know, I'm going to go tell him to shut the fuck up. It's very faint, though. Who the fuck knows, Sam? Why did the cops not let people him to shut the fuck up. It's very faint, though. Who the fuck knows, Sam? Why did the cops not let people leave? No, this guy is having a fucking... Brian is...

Brian is... Yeah, 100%. I'm not doing this. Okay, bye. Have a great day. I killed both of them. We're safe. No, Brian literally walked off the set. He was like, I'm done with this show Okay, bye. Have a great day. I killed both of them. We're safe. No, Brian literally walked off the set.

He was like, I'm done with this show. Why was he mad? Because Sam said, you know, the guy who was in charge of the Hawaii fires was supposed to set the alarm to let everybody know. He didn't set the alarm so, like, more people died because they weren't aware of it. And Sam saying that guy was responsible for the Vegas shootings, earthquakes. How does Brian get sucked into an argument like that? But my thing is, why does he get so mad? You know

what you signed up for? That's what I'm saying. He'd be like me going to Snow White, be like, what the fuck? She's not white! I knew it! Yeah, but like you, so Sam says that and you go like this, Oh, you think that? And he says, yeah. And you go, oh, wow.

Yeah. I would never engage with that. Brian gets so mad. He's like, I'm done with this shit. Sam was like, bye. Have a good day. I was like, cool. Really?

Yeah. That's crazy, bro. Yeah. When that kind of stuff. I believe Sam. I'm with Sam. I side with Sam on this. I actually like,

to me, it's like, I find myself now as I get older, so you hear somebody talking some conspiracy stuff. I like to like, I like to,

my mind goes, I wonder why you think like this. Like, tell me why you think like this. I think if you don't argue with people like that, then they have to like spew all their stuff. Then you can just kind of go, oh, okay. I see where you're coming from a

really weird place. 007 The issue is, I've undertaken some conspiracies. The issue is, say your ball's deep in conspiracies, they might be right on, let's say, three of them. But then that means you've got to believe everything. It's like, no, maybe this one was right. 008 I texted Sam once. I was like, Gil, let me ask you a question. How come you believe all conspiracy theories and not just some? He's like, I don't, man. There's some that – I was like, oh, never mind.

Yeah. He just go – Well, some of you just go like there's like ones that we all like – you don't even know how you really feel about it. Think of JFK. You know? No. Did Oswald kill him?

Or is it like a – you know? No. We'll never – like it's like – Well, We'll never know the actual truth down to what yet. This is a 75 year... Every president that has the ability to release this information doesn't do it. Trump released the most, but then when it came down to nitty gritty

he was like, we can't have that. We can't get that getting out because society would either be a backlash. There's only been like what, 51 presidents, 50, whatever, and they talk to each other. The only people that they can understand each other, that's why they become friends, even if they're enemies. Like Bush and Obama, they were good friends because you're the only person you can go, he probably looked at the things.

Imagine you're the president and you actually see who killed Kennedy. gotta you gotta pick up the phone and be like no one else talked to you gotta call like obama yeah yeah uh what that's why i'm friends with so many canceled people yeah it's the only people i can relate you call it bluey ck like you believe it was just fucking for real like i know them all and oh yeah you know i see each other on the streets that's how you walk hands made stale it's a canceled walk hey kevin how you doing it's like i don't know man i just i pick a different guy but yeah yeah whoever i don't know man see. The Blue Beetle writer, he went on strike the day the movie

opened and everybody was accusing him of promoting the movie during the strike. Of course. And it was kind of genius. He's like, you believe this shit? Take the picture here. I understand, but it's like... You're not supposed to promote, right? Is that what you're saying? Well, he was promoting that he was on strike,

but that thing's in the background. I heard that movie's good. I'm not into those movies. I've never even heard of that superhero. Why, because it's Latino? Yeah. As a matter of fact, I fucking... Yeah, it is.

It is. I would love to go see it for George Lopez. I love George Lopez. Me too. I love George Lopez. It actually looks kind of cool. It's doing well in theaters. Isn't it doing well?

Yeah, there you go. Apparently, they were saying that it has super low-fi special effects and that it was cost-effective for them because they didn't... It's making a lot of money. Who cares, right? As you would say. Kind of, yeah. Who cares?

Oh, but you see, I played Nick pull up like... I told you. Who cares? Yeah, I suppose you're right about that. I just saw the... I guess it was right. As you were saying it,

I'm like, what the fuck? Well, I appreciate you telling me who cares on that, honestly. If I'm honest. It's pretty who cares. I guess I don't know why I thought that. Who cares? Who cares?

Who cares? Who cares about anything? But this is a podcast, so. Right, right. So, well, I mean, too many people have podcasts. You are so serious. Are we one of them? Are we one of the too many people?

We're too many? We've been in for a hot second, though, man. How long have we been fucking podcasting? Yeah, yeah, I mean, too many people have podcasts. You are so serious. Are we one of them? Are we one of the too many people? We're too many? We've been in for a hot second, though, man. How long have we been fucking podcasting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just saw a thing that the Flash is the biggest flop in superhero history. Bro, it made not even $60 million? No, no, it just needs to make like $400 million to break even. No, no, no.

No, no, no. I heard it. Oh, so I read it only made $60 million. No, no, no. It made. Oh, okay. Well, probably when it's all plus or minus. spent... No, no, no. I heard it... I read it only made $60 million. No, no, no. It made... Well, probably when it's all plus or minus. No, no, no. Opening weekend. Opening weekend. Got it.

So, yeah. No, it cost like $350 and then $150 in advertisers. They're not going to make that back. That is just crazy. The report was they lost $200 million. So, $108 million. Oh, God damn, dude. They made basically $270 million worldwide.

They did? And that's nothing for a movie like that. No, no, no. You've got to make $9 billion for that movie. Here's the thing, though. It's like, just release the movie. You know? Like, whatever they were trying to hide or take away because of the guy,

who cares? Just release it. Here's the movie, whatever. What's going on with that guy now? So is he out? Well, now he is. You know he has, like, a legit cult, right? Cult? Just release it. Here's the movie, whatever. What's going on with that guy now? So is he out? Well, now he is. You know he has like a legit cult, right?

Cult? Yeah, cult. Oh, cult. He has like a legit cult. No, I don't know that. What's his name? Flash. Ezra Miller.

Ezra Miller has like a legit cult, yeah. Like Jared Leto? Jared Leto has one too, right? His is full of bitches, but this guy has a Manson family cult in Texas. He has a straight up cult. What? Nah. Iceland is way off.

I don't believe any of that shit. That's crazy. It's in Iceland? The cult is in Iceland? Yeah, he has a farm. I don't know. He'll fly people down there and then feed them. It sounds like a good time. I want to go. I'll follow, dude. I need to be a follower. Do you fly people down there and then feed them. It sounds like a good time. I want to go.

I'll follow, dude. I need to be a follower. Do you have to get tattoos and stuff? I don't know. Ezra Miller. Just a big flash fucking on your forehead like that. Remember when we beat up that girl in Walmart? She's like, I'm a fan.

Shut up, bitch. He was flash, bitch. He was blitzed, and then like his his friends who were filming we talked about this right yeah it's ridiculous all right who's this guy uh he's got some nonsense all right all right looks like carrie ellis what's up golden hour crew brendan far right chris far left eric currently traffic. This guy doesn't watch the show. Got a debate club for you. What is the largest land animal that each of you could kill in a one-on-one fight and survive? Never mind.

Largest land mammal. Oh, yeah. Peacock. No no I don't think I would be the peacock you can choke it easy um um it's like an ostrich

um yeah ostriches I bet would fuck you up you've seen their feet they're dinosaurs not an ostrich what, I bet, would fuck you up. No, you've seen their feet? Yeah. They're dinosaurs. Not an ostrich. Not an ostrich. What do you think? Far left Eric. What the fuck's that about?

He just, well, he said far right Chris. That triggered you, huh? Yeah. He's all, don't watch the show. I hate that shit. You're not even the most, you and I are the same middle. Yeah. Over here on the right.

Yeah. You're just kind of like, whatever. And then he's kind of like, I'm over here on the right. Yeah. You're just kind of like, whatever. And then he's kind of like, I'm over here. Good impressions of us. Good impressions of us. Do the acting you did earlier.

What are we, swimming? He's going in the wind. Either way. Sometimes I think people just like saying that. Yeah, of course. Because they have their opinion, then they just want to be like, you know, oh, you leftist. But they're going to be left, whatever, if you say whatever.

You're like, I'll see Snow White. They're like, oh, leftist. Jesus Christ. I'm like, I would storm the Capitol. Like, far right. I'm like, chill. Ma'am, animal that we could beat up? Can we bring up animals?

Bring up animals in North America, I assume. I mean, you know. It'd have to be a dog. It doesn't have to be North America. A dog would be tough. Like a King Corso would mop the floor with you. Yeah, so. But it would have to be like.

Probably. Not a shark. Otter. Big otter. A land animal. Because you can... They don't care. You just keep on...

You know, with the fucking... Keep on... What they're going to fucking do. You know, get behind it. Oh, I got it. A sloth. Look at this. I just saw this.

Oh. Three lines are... Yeah, but that woman is probably a fucking idiot. But they're in the water. You probably thought it was cute or something. Oh, they're in the water? Nah, you call it out. Hey, come here.

You know what I mean? Dude, that thing attacked her fucking nose? Otter? I'm going to say no. Give me something else. What's bigger? I can fuck an otter up. That's scary.

I'll beat the shit. That is fucking scary. That's a panther. But you'd have to. That's a panther. Yeah, that is. You'd have to fucking. Boom. You know what to fucking. Boom.

You know what I mean? I'll beat the shit out of a camel. No, if we can't use weapons, I can't get an otter. Honestly. Look at it. It looks vicious as hell. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

You're right. You're right. It has to survive in the wild. I can't do otter. No, I won't do otter. Sloth. That's eating a snake. But sloths have that.

That's a fish though, right? Oh, have that That's a fish though right Oh fish That's a fish Don't say snake You know that's a fish Nah Those are scales Those are scales

Dude it's eating an elephant It's eating a crocodile Down there Oh shit No otters We're not gonna fuck with otters I'll beat the shit out of a camel You're right

A small horse Come on Howl bro Camel fuck you up They're so big Yeah Just Otters, we're not going to fuck with otters. I'll beat the shit out of a camel. You're right. A small horse. Come on, camel, bro. A camel will fuck you up. They're so big. Yeah. Just a stupid fucking face. They run 40 miles an hour.

I'll fuck a camel up, dude. Oh, God. I'll fucking kick it around his stupid stomach. They're so big, bro. I think Mike Tyson and his camel will fuck you up. No way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good question, man.

It had to be some type of dog. That's what I said. Yeah, it has to be. Not fucking Doberman. The guy asked what's the largest. Yeah, yeah. A medium-sized dog. Yeah.

Thank you. Like a pug? Yeah. No, bro. You could be bigger than a pug. Fuck a pug. One of those ones that's like with their eyes are like over here. You know what I mean?

Yeah. They can't barely move. Stupid thing. Because even if they get you on this, they fuck your arm up. You just bash them into the wall. Yeah. And then they let go. Yeah, you fuck a pug up.

I actually think that like, yes, dogs are terrible. You're going to get bit and all that. But I think you could, you know, even if it was like a German shepherd or something like that, they're coming at you. You're going to have to get it around the neck or something. It's going to be a tough fight. You didn't choke them out. You could.

You just have to protect your neck. What about like a large pig? We already talked about Amy Schumer. Take that out. I'm so sorry. Keep it. Keep it in. This is bullshit. Oh, I got to take that out. She's awful sorry. Keep it. Keep it in. This is bullshit.

Oh, I got to take that out. She's awful. Yeah. No, yeah. Yeah, yeah. A large pig? That's a large, yeah. Not a warthog.

No. They have tusks. Pigs are actually tougher than we think. Pigs are, yeah, dude. They're all tougher than we think. Yeah. They're all tougher than we think, you know? Wait, hold on.

This is a good one. When I was a kid visiting my relatives in Central America, they were terrible. They made me... They had farm. They made me watch a pig getting killed. They stabbed it? Yeah.

You know. It was bad. It was just like... I remember being like... Hey, Eric, where are you going? Eric, where are you going? Yeah, yeah. It was like that.

I don't... Yeah, yeah. Just my face. Watch this pig. Are you Central American? Yeah, my. Just my face. Watch this. Are you Central American? Yeah, my family's from Belize. I got family from Jamaica, Belize, Honduras. So that's why I had this look.

All right. So let's get this dialed in here. It's a good one. I mean, I don't know, man. Is it? I don't know. I can't think of any fucking... I know.

I can't either. I'm a dumb, dumb. But he just... don't know. I can't think of any fucking animals. I know. I can't either. I'm a dumb, dumb. But he just, we'll stick to the question. What is the largest land animal? So I think we're saying some mid-sized dog. Like a,

like a, what was Lassie? Macaulay? Yeah. Macaulay. Macaulay. What about a deer? A deer?

No way. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding? They fuck people up. No, deer's fuck. No, not the deer with the big antlers. Are you kidding me? They fuck people up. No, not the deer with the big antlers. It doesn't matter. They fuck you up. They box.

They box. Yeah, you're right. What other animals? Yeah, a deer. This guy throws out. I know. We're not going to throw it down. A small lion?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm sorry the pug conversation's not firing me up. No, no, no. It's a good conversation piece because it's so ridiculous. There's no way. What's the next sign up there? You obviously fuck a pug up. What about a chow? A chow a dog? You just fucking pull it. A big chow?

Oh, I was thinking of a chow, maybe. If you want a challenge, it's going to be a... A chow is a challenge. You know what? The biggest mammal I can kill on land is probably a 300-pound man who can't fight. Yeah, true. True.

That's honest. I'd beat the shit out of Brendan Fraser from the whale, however much he weighed. I probably would, too, honestly. He's so slow. He couldn't move. Not human and not dog would be tough, because even cat would probably fuck you up. Cat's a nightmare. You know what's funny?

Oh, a turtle. It's like growing up. A turtle. I'll stomp the fuck out of a turtle. Oh, there you go. But that's not big. You know, our whole... Oh, a turtle. It's like growing up. A turtle. I'll stomp the fuck out of a turtle. But that's not big. Not a snapping turtle. A tortoise. I'm talking about a big tortoise.

They're slow. You just fucking... Okay. You know what's crazy? When I was a kid, I watched Tom and Jerry and all these kinds of cartoons. So when I was growing up, it's like dogs were supposed to be ferocious and they would... Cats were afraid of dogs. That's what I had this impression.

But you look at any YouTube video, cats are running shit. It's just a bunch of cats chasing after dogs. You never know where they are. You know house cats are the most efficient killers in the land. They kill everything. Boy, you haven't seen John Wick. Who's going to ask first? Oh, shit.

That's how Callan fights. I like the hairless cats. They're so athletic. Oh, that dog's going. God, break it up, everybody. Are they having fun? Sam and Callan. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, this is the greatest. It's good to see a cat chase after a big dog. I love how people are just like, they're playing. The fucking eye is out. Well, that one's a little kitten versus a fucking German shepherd. It's going to be a pussy, though, huh? Right here. Oh, a word.

Yeah, they can box. I hate those dogs. I have two can box. I hate those dogs. I have two. I have two of those dogs. That dog's like, what in the fuck? Hell yeah, dog. Get it. Oh, dude.

Kill those cats. This is like in Brazil. Kill them up. That's where Eric's from. Eric filmed it. I did not know Eric was from Jamaica. You know what I'm saying? I have family from Jamaica, Belize, Honduras.

Yep. And those are all their pets. Those are all their pets. You're a mix. The white side is what? What kind of white we talking? Let's get out. You want one?

No. What kind of white we talking? I have no idea. Yeah. We don't know. Yeah. Thanks for bringing it up. You're drinking that, huh?

A whole Pepsi? Yeah. Diet. From Taco Bell? Yeah. I love fountain idea. Yeah, we don't know. Yeah, thanks for bringing it up. You're drinking that, huh? A whole Pepsi? Yeah, Diet from Taco Bell. Yeah, I love fountain drinks. Cancer. Did you guys see Akon wore fake Christian Dior on accident? He got called out for it and then was like, I did it to get a reaction from everybody. Okay, but here's the thing, though. That shit's so fake.

It says drip. When's the last time Akon made money? So it's like, you know what I mean? Dude, he's building his own city. No, Akon has a lot of money. Yeah, he's so much money. Convict music. You forgot about that, didn't you?

Yeah, I did. That's the dwarf. I'm locked up. Remember, I'm locked up. Is it the dwarf and Akon are the same person? No, but here's the thing. He should be mad at his Nick. You know what I mean?

That's what that is. That's what Nick would like. Oh, let me get this Dior. It know what I mean? That's what that is. No, here's the video. That's what Nick would, Nick would like, oh, let me get this Dior. It says, I thought dress Brandon. I mean, it says, I thought you said, you do.

I thought you said something different. It says, I was like, wait, what? It says Drio, first of all. Second of all, second of all,

I thought it said drip. Second of all, this is a big who cares to me. Like, dude, I'm sure I probably have something fake in my closet I have no idea about. You know what I'm saying? 100%. Just your personality.

But go on. It's not. I'm not in the closet. Oh, it was a layered joke. Dude. It was layered. Oh, and there was another clothes reference. I like it.

Oh, damn. He's from St. Yeah, right. We're good, bro. Yeah Oh, damn. He's from St. Louis? Yeah. Why is that so shocking to you? I thought he was from an island. He doesn't speak like he's from St. Louis. I didn't think he was American.

That's like, you know Johnny Depp's from Kentucky but speaks with a British accent? Yeah, that's horrible. That's not alarming to you? I'm from Kentucky. Yeah. You're like, what? horrible. That's not alarming to you? I'm from Kentucky. Yeah. You're like, what? You ever heard Akon talk? Madonna, she's from Michigan, you know?

She's like, hello. Yeah. She moved there for a little while. That doesn't matter. It happens. I actually have some family that moved to London. Tell them to cut it out. Tell them to cut it out.

They adopted the accent. Anyway, my point I'm trying to make is that, you know, you think that Akon, if he has all this kind of money, is walking through the aisles. No. People come to these kind of people and go, hey, we got some clothes for you. And then one of his handlers was like, oh, we'll take this. And he's like, oh, you should wear this. They're going to pay us whatever or whatever.

And then he has this on, not even thinking about it. He looks like an asshole. And he's like, what? Somebody got fired or got told off. I had a shoe plug and sent me some Jordans, and the Jordan was fat. No, really? The Jordan was, like, thick and had sugar in his thing. Instead of, you know, when Jordan's dunk, he's like this.

He was like this. Really? Yeah. I was like, I don't know if these are real. I'll tell you what, though. I never bought clothes not from the place, so I don't have thick clothes. Maybe shoes. Maybe I do have one or two thick shoes.

I have no idea. The crazy part is like Amazon. Like the fact that Amazon, you might think you're getting something from whatever the company is, and it's completely not. People don't realize that Amazon's basically a cash register for companies. They're a middleman. Yeah. Yeah. And so then there's just so many. They can just, oh, okay, that's not real. Oh, we're so sorry. Here middlemen. Yeah. Yeah. And so then, and then they're just so many,

they can just, oh, okay, that's not real. Oh, we're so sorry. Here, refund. Yeah. In the name of whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know?

But I've gotten, you can get- Really? Yeah, you can get some bunk stuff on there. Really? Yeah, man. I don't- Especially if you're getting like supplements

or these kinds of things. Yeah. They're very clear. Sometimes they'll be like, you'll see like other reports being like, don't buy this from Amazon because it's not going to be

the real company. Yeah. You got to be careful. Maybe that's like other reports being like, don't buy this from Amazon because it's not going to be the real company. Yeah. You got to be careful. Maybe that's not why I'm getting any bigger from my protein powder. You do look like you got bigger. I do?

Fuck yeah, dude. You do look like you put on some size. Dude, I've been going. Not on your legs, but. No, that's where I, I do, bro. I work out legs. I know you do.

I see you on Instagram. It's so crazy. You're like, leg day animal. Dude, I, and I woke up this morning and I looked at him and I was like,

dude, I think I'm actually like this. You're going to make your hair. Yeah, I do. My shoulders are void. You have some titties, dude. Rachel said to me when I'm leaving to come here, she goes, maybe take your workout clothes and then go. And I was like, you think that's how it works?

I'm just going to show up with workout clothes and then we're going to all work out. Be a good time. Tell me I need to work out without telling me I gonna all work out. Be a good time. Tell me I need to work out without telling me I need to work out. But you have been working out, no? It's tough on the road and stuff. But I am making an effort. The road's the toughest to work out.

Come with me sometime. I mean, you're in Culver City. That's what I'm saying. I'm in fucking Culver City. That's not happening, right? You can come with me sometime. Be my guest, bro. It's fun. I know, but that's why I'm looking for someplace real close to me. It has to be convenient. i know even to the point where you look you just walk to it or something bro why don't you gyms are so tough to find i i went to he might even know he's in a building with a jimmy right i'm not dude really yeah but it's so ubiquitous is what i'm

saying though dude no but that's not what he's saying. So all I'm saying is, listen. Wait, hold on. Wait, what was I going to say? Fuck. Oh, I go to the gym. I work out hard. I do. I sweat a lot.

And people at the gym, it's funny how many people at the gym don't really work out that hard. They're always on their phone. Yeah, it's crazy. And I even have people that I know come up to me and they're like, hey man, how's it going? And I'm like, I'm in the middle of doing my thing.

I wait a minute and then do the thing and then I don't take big breaks. But where was I going with this? Oh, I brought, one time I was like, dude, I'm going to do an every minute on the minute workout.

I'm going to watch the YouTube and do it along with the YouTube guy at the gym. Bro, I was a fucking asshole. I was dying. Dude, these every minute on the minute workouts, what I'm saying is if you just do that shit with not even weights, I used weights, but don't use weights.

Dude, this guy, oh, he would come in in a year, and we would be like, oh, bro. Shut your ass, Brendan. What's the biggest animal I can beat up? Britain, sure. On that back. I'd like to see an otter.

Try me now. I'm taking a beer knuckle fight, but I used to like, like, um, when I was like, cause I, I'll start working out of this stop.

Start. But if you do those, any of those YouTube push-ups ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. They're tough. Or the sit-ups ones. They're really tough.

The sit-ups ones. They're doing some crazy shit and you're like, God damn. Yeah, they're really tough, man. What have you been doing? Just own body weight workouts. Come on, man.

I love it. Come on. What's up, man? Tell me what you've been doing. You don't do legs? Bro, I do legs all the time, man. I do them all the time. You do legs nonstop.

Yeah, man. They're so sore. You do look like you put on size, though. Thank you. What does it do with your voice? I work out my voice. I don't get what Lamar Odom. Is this a flex?

Like you got a TV now? No, he was just posting that he was watching USA Basketball, and then he got roasted. His TV is so small. His TV is an iPhone. Things haven't been going well someone said bro you need a bigger tv they bullied him into it just gonna leave this here about a 70 hours later that's hilarious bro i have so i have a tv that's really funny that's really funny like you know what that's how funny. That's really funny.

Like, you know what? That's how you get, that's how you become like, you know, the LG spokesperson. I was just going to say. You know what I mean?

They're going to call him and be like, he's just like, sometimes you need a bigger TV. You know? That's how you do it. I want to,

I have a TV in my living room that is above a fireplace and it only fits, it's between two sconces that I can only get a certain size bro people roast me so much about how small a fucking TV is but I have to yes but also I have big TVs I have other TVs but so

it's like don't post a little boy no you can't post the little so now I'm like every time the little TVs I'm like it's like you got Ferraris, but you're showing the scooter I want to be like I have five motherfucker Thanks Michael Scott with his TV TVs are so big now, but they're was a kid, the big screens were like fucking bookshelves. I have an AK 85-inch or another big room. Slight flex. You got to play a video game somewhere.

It's so great when you watch like – but you have to be watching in like really high-definition stuff, and it really looks great. 85-inch TV. Yeah, that's that shit I had right there. Oh, I remember those. They were dope. Rachel's parents still have one of those. It's that shit I had right there. Oh, I remember those. They were dope. Rachel's parents still have

one of those. It's ridiculous when I go over there. Lamar Odom tried to book him on a show one time. He's a crazy rider. It was like $5,000, first class seats, multiple first class seats, a bunch of food, like Best Hotel. They gave a list you could select from.

He's really riding the Kardashian thing. You think he is still? He's definitely got money, right? If you're like, hey, we have an 8-ball and a TV. Yeah, but that TV's like... TVs are cheap. $295.

Sometimes you go through Target and you're like, damn, that's a good deal. Because the technology in TVs moves so fast. And by the way, you might see us on big TV, but it's like, it's trash. You know, it's like you don't even realize until you plug it in and you're like,

oh man, this doesn't have... Why can't this do the thing that I wanted? I can only watch Golden Girls. Yeah, TVs are... Bro, I remember the first, like, plasma TVs the early on, they were like 10 grand. And 900 pounds. How about when 4Ks first came out too? Yeah, I don't remember early on They were like 10 grand And 900 pounds How about when 4Ks

First came out too Yeah I don't remember that They were kind of like Then they started to be Like thin Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Just wait

Bro you know You know phones and shit Are gonna be for real Like not expensive At some point Because robots are just Gonna make them Look at this

Average cost of a plasma TV In 2005 10 grand I told you bro Jesus I don't speak out my ass Like fucking just going to make them. Look at this. Average cost of a positive TV in 2005. Ten grand. I told you, bro. Jesus. I don't speak out my ass like fucking He does pretty well on the fact checks. Yeah, he's alright. Colonels of Truth.

He's alright. Every time. Every time. He's alright. He's alright. We clown him, but we love him. This guy Gunplay got arrested for playing with a gun. For Gunplay. Oh. But didn't he,

she asked him to turn down the volume while he was playing Call of Duty so their baby could sleep and he pulled a gun on her. This is legit the argument for video games cause violence, you know? Like remember when that was a thing in the 90s? It's still a thing like Call of Duty,

first person shooters, then the kids get used to that. Well, if you're a fucking six year old, you don't want to, you know, you don't want your kid playing Call of Duty if you're a fucking six-year-old, you don't want to, you know, you don't want your kid playing Call of Duty if you're a fucking six-year-old. It's the teenagers shooting up the schools. But they start watching the shit. Oh, that's a nice watch.

Thanks, man. They start by it. I think they're shooting up the schools because they're writing manifestos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Take away their books and pens and pieces of paper. Like if your kid's writing a manifesto, check in.

Or ordering a bunch of stuff from the mail. If your kid's only wearing black, check in. Long trench coats? Check in. It's tough not to ask this.

He has no friends. He never invites anyone over. He doesn't do anything. Check in. Because he's either a school shooter or he's anyone over. Doesn't do anything. Check in. Because he's either a school shooter or he's into Wednesday. Their name is Keith. Check in. Yeah. That's all I'm saying.

Hey, I didn't watch that show yet. You guys said it was amazing. I still know it's not. It is. I was just watching it on the plane ride home. I've rewatched it twice now. I still know it's not amazing. I got a show for you.

Down with Love. It's Down Syndrome Kids Looking for Love. I won't watch that. It's. I still know it's not amazing. I got a show for you. Down with Love. It's Down Syndrome kids looking for love. I won't watch that. It's good, man. It's not. You don't see any of that? It's not good. I don't like crying.

Oh, no. It makes you feel good, man. No. You're crying. He's like, it makes you feel smart. No, there's one kid on there I was like, God damn. He's smart, man. He speaks five languages.

I was like, oh, shit. I need to apply myself more. When the Down Syndrome guy is speaks five languages yeah i was like oh uh i saw i need to apply myself more when the down syndrome guy is speaking five languages you're like damn i'm not doing it i know that i was like and then go get him bro and then the love poems he writes my girl's like why don't you write like that i'm like what'd you find to do with downs yeah here's the deal did you like love on the Spectrum? Sweet. No. Yeah, the first one. Here's the thing about those shows.

I can watch only one season of that shit. Because then I'm like, all right, I get it. This is like, as much as I'm sure this is portraying it in a nice light, it's still like using them to make money. It's kind of fucking weird. They're getting money, though. Are they? Are they? Are they?

I don't fucking know, guys. Just enjoy the show. I wonder what their O faces are like. Piece of shit. You can't just drop that out there. What if it's regular? Yeah. What if they become regular?

Oh, oh, and they go. So stupid. Bro, come on, man. Come on, man. Like if a dude is like this. And then when he's fricking, he's like. You're bad people, man. These are bad people.

Brendan, get on board. That shit is hilarious. It's so bad, but it's so funny. You guys got to watch the show man. My girl Poppy. Oh man I love that. Oh fuck. Oh. These guys gotta watch your show man we're dying again you feel bad for him man you feel

bad for him they're real people they're real people we just say it oh fuck people's oh face we love them bro i got some friends that's hilarious oh that one looks like the the it clown which okay well so wow wow wow oh that's too much look at the girl but she don't have downs fictional she doesn't have downs no our shit is fictional maybe that's a real woman right there that you're talking about you are you are you are fucking insane i a fictional joke find that girl on there you're the worst you're evil it's we're sam it ain't here it's spot on oh man you know i have a thing with faces it's spot on this is terrible what's okay nick pole what's worse? Saying that Down syndrome people have regular faces for 10 seconds when they bust nuts.

Or that this real girl looks like the it clown. No, the guy from it. Look, it's spot on. It's hard to argue. I know, but that's what makes it work. That's why it works. Just think of her holding a balloon. That's why you're the worst.

It's probably because she's holding the thing too You know what I mean And put her in front of that house I'm just saying The balloon and the flower The producer's new Give her a red flower She had a yellow one

I'm not a part of this I'm just saying Too much too much Give her a red flower Let's make fun of some rich people. Everybody can get it. You guys are animals. Akon Wardrio.

Who? What? Akon. And where's his excuse, dude? He's fucking, you know. And he's from St. Louis. Come on, man. Yeah, yeah.

It's very funny. It's very funny. It's very funny. Hey, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very funny. It's very funny. It's very funny. Hey, hey. I know, Don. And then back to it. Yeah, after you finish coming. Yeah.

So terrible, people. It's fucking so funny, goddammit. What do you got, Nick? Just afterwards got to go watch Pokemon or some shit. What's going on, Golden Crew? That guy's handsome, huh? Yeah, he is. Boy Ryan from Daytona Beach, Florida.

I'm going to fight for you. He's got bait for you. I'm going to fight him. Just got into running recently, and I've been thinking about shaving the chest. That's not his hand. Really likes the chest. That's not his hand. Really likes the hair. Those aren't his hands. But you get all sweaty, you get nasty, you stink with it.

I'm wondering what is... Are y'all shaving up clean butter smooth? Girls like the hair. You got a little bit of hamburger hair. I know Eric definitely got hamburger hair. I appreciate you guys. Left Eric over here got hamburger hair. I appreciate you guys. Left Eric over here with the hair.

Very left Eric. Far left Eric with the hair. Far left Eric with his liberal hair, all woke as shit in his butthole hair. His hair has all different colors and sizes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All different colors and sizes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think you should ever, ever shave your chest unless you are- A bodybuilder. In a competition where you need to fucking show shreds, you know?

Shreds. Or you're going to get a tattoo and you got to shave it for some reason. You know what I mean? Maybe do swimmers, do they really get time? When I was fighting, I shaved it once and my girl was like, don't do that.

Yeah. She's like, do not shave that. I had to do it for a movie once and I remember it was coming back and my girlfriend at the time was like, hey, don't do that ever again. They hate it. It's just-

Well, I've shaved this a few times. Knuckles? But here's the deal, though. It's a monster when it comes back. That damn Teen Wolf. That's the thing. When it comes back, though. Yeah, I'm in mid-Werewolf transformation.

You know the movie where they're like, I'll be like this. You know what I mean? Save yourself. Save yourself. Get away from me. That's what this looks like. That is hairy.

Yeah. Whatever, I just accept it. But the thing about it is, Get away from me. That's what this looks like. That is hairy. Yeah. Whatever. I just accept it. But the thing about it is like when it comes back, when it's coming back is the worst part. It's all prickly? Yeah. Because that is like, that's just who you are. And it's like, okay.

But that prickly shit is weird. Yeah. You know? You just take a razor and do it? Yeah, yeah. I'll just be in the shower. Fade it up? Fade it.

Go to the barber. They put that little cape around the... Go ahead. I like your Philly hair. And they turn... I was just like... And we're in the middle of arguments. Yeah, man.

Jordan is better than... Because it's a black barber and shit. All the other black dudes are like this. LeBron better than Jordan, man. I hate all of you. It's hilarious. But your girl likes the hairy knuckles? She doesn't care.

Nobody likes. They just deal with it, dude. You never know. Some people are into that shit. Oh, man. I have small calves and shit. You have a weird fade right now. You have the nerve to talk about hair.

Okay? Bro. That shit looks like you go like this at night. You put it on the thing and you're like... Bro, you have a jerry curl on your fucking knuckles. But I can shave this. This isn't a choice. You chose this haircut. This isn't a choice.

You think I was like, yeah, give me the hairy knuckles. No, you went to the barber and was like, yeah, give me the hairy knuckles? No. You went to the barber and was like, just shave the side and leave the top. No, give me the hairiest knuckles. You went like this. I'll take a jerry curl on my knuckles, please. You went like this. You were like, can I get Patrick Swayze on top? Can you perm my hands?

I have curly hair. He goes like this. Brennan goes like this. Yes. And they go, okay. The guy's like, we're actually not done. I was turning around to get the back. I was trying to finish.

He turns around. Yeah, thank you, dog. They're just like, he just throws $30 He just throws He throws $30 at the Supercuts Cash register I'm out Thank you

Is Supercuts still around or Great Clips? Oh yeah You go there Nick? Nick went earlier Oh yeah They do knuckles I go to add the barber He speaks Mexican

We don't talk at all He speaks Mexican? You know how I know You're racist Spanish You know how I know You're racist Own it

Own it Chin cuts his own hair You know chin cuts his own hair In the mirror That's fucking Really impressive With a fubu And no he puts a

Flobie He puts a fade He'll do a fade Whatever you want I I go to a place I have a woman that does it She's awesome

No point though right? a place I have a woman that does it she's awesome no point though right I dude I have a haircut okay it's not just hair if it gets too long no I

I go to Floyd's in Culver City Floyd's is always nice yeah I do I normally like going to a salon cause I like to to be pampered

of course you do you know I want to like you know washing my hair and all that shit. Washing your knuckles. Sometimes you go to barbershops and you're just like, it's too like, you know, everybody's like, I ain't washing no man's hair. You know, you get that vibe.

And I'm like, no, no, no, man. I want to be taken care of. You like when they massage your scalp? Yeah. Yeah, it is nice. I don't like that. I haven't had it done in a hot second. I don't like going to.

But you can't sit still. That's your problem. My whole thing is... Yeah, maybe. But my whole thing is I don't want to have to feel like I have to talk. If I just want to chill... There's three places you keep your eyes closed. Barber.

During sex. Dentist. And Chin's like, driving. He shoots, he scores. Barbershop, dentist, massage. Yeah, I would agree.

That's why you don't... My eyes are closed. You trying to talk? Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm sitting here like this. I agree. Yeah, bro I mean? I'm sitting here like this. I agree. Yeah, bro. So what about that strike?

I'm like. Oh, I agree. Imagine him opening his eyes. And you're that guy. You're like, oh, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. But it's also on the plane.

If you don't want to talk, just put your headphones in. Yeah. And some people go, hey, do you mind? Like to talk to you? Yeah, you're like, what? Oh, dude. Well, my whole thing is. Okay.

I'm not the one. Here's the other thing. I told, I was telling this with my wife and I was like, I genuinely, we're talking about working out. I genuinely,

I don't like to listen to music when I work out. I like to listen to nothing. Well, you never listen to music. I don't ever listen to music. But when I work out, especially, I like to be just totally clear, not having, you know, there's the music at the gym, but I can't hear that to music. I don't ever listen to music. But when I work out, especially, I like to be just totally clear,

not having, you know, there's the music at the gym, but I'm not, I can't hear that really. I'm just, I mean, my own.

So, and I'm like, but people often come up to talk to me at the gym, obviously. Because you don't have headphones. Hey, what's up, Chris?

Hey, how's it going? Big fan. That's fine. I appreciate that. Any of the, but when I'm in a conversation, then when somebody drags me along to conversation,

I'm like, oh fuck. She's like, just get headphones. I fucking hate that. This would be a good thing for someone to call in. So what do I do? What do I do?

I don't want to. The beat's awful. Oh, you look like an asshole. Just wear them then. Just wear them and don't listen to anything. You can do that. But then. That's annoying.

But the other ones want to put and just have the noise canceling headphones on. No, you don't want to. Because they get all sweaty. They get so sweaty. It's so disgusting. And then also you look like an influencer. When I go to Zoo Culture, every bad girl in there, all the baddies with the blood asses doing squats, all of them have the giant beads on. Really?

All of them. And they take them off around their hip or around the neck. Is Zoo Culture – so I know obviously that's Bradley Martin's place. So is that – do they do a lot of filming for it? Yeah. But not Bradley Martin. Bradley doesn't. But it's like any fitness influencer you see is in that gym.

I don't like that. And they have the camera set up for squats. I hate that shit. And I'm in the back looking all stupid. Yeah. The gyms are like, these are the kind of gyms that you have to be in shape to go to. Oh, yeah. I'm the most out of shape person.

But the thing about the gyms that- It's stupid though. It's like, what are we doing? But the gym that I- It hurts your feelings. Yeah. Yeah. That shit works though. But when you It's like, what are we doing? But the gym that I... It hurts your feelings. Yeah. Yeah. That shit works, though.

But when you go to like... But see, you have to... Yeah, but you're a handsome guy, bro. What gym are you going to? You need to be going... I go to Equinox's because... And people are like, oh, that's so... But bro, nobody's filming in there.

Well, you also have to like... You almost want to be like Equinox, a place like that. Part of the rule should be don't talk to anyone. Well, Gold Gym has that rule. If you see somebody you recognize be don't talk to anyone. Well, Gold Gym has that rule. If you see somebody you recognize, don't talk to them. Yeah, that should be the thing. Because The Rock was in there, Arnold was in there, and I was working out. I'm like, damn, I can't believe they're not getting bombarded.

And I talked to one of the guys, and he's like, it's a policy here. If you come up, we kick you out. The Rock is different. I'm talking about me. I'm not talking about The Rock. No, you're saying you're the same. I'm like The Rock in the fact that we're both equally as famous yeah but no go ahead i'm just saying i think that that's a thing that you might even want to like you know you go to the manager and be like i would love

that people wouldn't talk to me that's not for me uh chris story is in the building please don't talk to him that would be pompous for me to do uh that's today welcome to it happens three times a workout it's not a big deal but but you know what's back to me with music? You know it's proven, clinically proven. They can look it up. Music increases your endurance. I understand, yeah. So do you want to be stronger or not?

No. I want to. What if I'm in trouble in the jungle? I need to use all my shit, but I don't have beats. I want to learn how to do it myself without fucking Nelly. No, no. Hot in. No, no.

You go like this. You know, something's happening. You just go. That's what it does. Music gets you like, you know, hyped, man. I don't want, by myself, I go, oh shit, I'm in trouble. High end. Me while I'm having a fight.

In my mouth. No. In my mouth. I would go. Cause this is Thriller. Stupid. What about David Goggins says, no, I don't wear fucking,

I don't listen to music. Fuck music when I work out. David Goggins is crazy about shit. Do you want to be David Goggins? Remember David Goggins when he just was like, tie me up, throw me in the ocean.

He's different level. Yeah, dude, that is a, different level. Dude, you know, so you're an athlete. Do you ever listen to music when you run? Never.

Fuck no, motherfucker. During my last pull-up record, I listened to that song for Rocky 1, round 14, when Rocky gets knocked down the corner. I listened to that. It's 2 minutes and 13 seconds long. I listened to it on repeat for 17 hours. Merry Christmas, motherfucker. Everything he does is so extreme.

But here's the deal, though. So extreme. He is... You're an athlete, so it's different. You're probably more like me in the sense that we're not athletes. So, like, we... I do squats, and I go, I'm gonna get 10 of these. And then I get to 6, and I'm like, okay, I'm going to do eight.

And then I do seven. Yeah, that's most people. Yeah. So it's just too, I don't know. What are they? Well, for you, there's a goal. Like not now, but back when you were doing. Yeah, there was a goal.

There was a goal, right? There's no goal for me. There's no goal for me now. Right, right, right, right, right. Like today I pull up to the gym. I'm in the lot but i take calls i was in the classroom i'm like well fuck it but you still have you can but i feel like you i'm not getting ready for it i still went to the gym yeah i went yeah but as a comedian like i could i could be going through the worst time in my life, get on stage, and murder. It's just a mode. I know how to do it, right? That's your job.

Right. It's my job. But my point is you used to do that shit. You still probably know what that feels like. It's in there. It's a memory muscle, right? Yeah. So I don't have that.

I just don't have that. I've never had a goal. My goal is to get fit, but that's an abstract thing. One more rep and then I'm fit. It's not like that. I remember playing high school basketball and like the coach was just like, oh, he's a great dude. His name was Terry Matthews. He was like, for his honeymoon,

they did a 26 mile bike ride. That's the kind of couple these people were. He just recently died from, So shout out to him. A heart attack? No, it was just like he had some complications. Fell on his bike. But anyways, he was a good dude. He was the basketball coach.

But he was really tough on us. And I was the worst. So I'd be one of the, like, you know, you do wind sprints. Yeah, those were the worst. But it would be like the whole team is, and I'm on the other side just. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And everybody's like, come on, Eric. You know?

Yeah. It'd be the kind of thing where if Eric doesn't do it with the 10, we have to keep going. Oh, you're like the big kid from Full Metal Jacket. But he wasn't big, though. But you weren't big. Oh, no, no. I was.

I used to dunk when I was in high school. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Now he just dunks donuts. Yeah. That's my own fault. You know what I mean? But also. This is like I just dunks donuts. That's my own fault. You know what I mean? But also, it's...

I just threw him back. I almost sift that one out and didn't do it because it's just... But you did it. You did it. We done it? The chin one about closing his eyes during driving, that was a little better. That one made me laugh. Nothing's better than this, though.

Yeah, yeah. I had some bangers this episode. This is good because I started off a little bit hot. Oh, you were upset. Can we name this one? No, I was just a little too, yeah. Downs O I started off a little bit hot. Oh, you were upset. Can we name this one? No, I was just a little too, yeah. Downs O-Face. Oh, God.

Oh, no. Just fucking seven views. What's going on? How come it's got eight views here? It's been out for a week. That's riffing with riffing. One comment from Sam Tripoli. And by the way, I'm going to be in the Kansas City Comedy Club right now.

So come check me out. What is it? Comedy Club? It's called? Kansas City. That's some new one. Kansas City Comedy Club. And September 8th, I'm in Covina with Callan.

It's me and Callan for the first time in a hot second. It's me and Brian, the Big Gulp Barry, Brian Callan, a.k.a. Brinks. That's two shows, Laugh Factory, Covina. And then I'm in Spokane, Washington, end of September. I don't know, man. You know? Nashville, Charlotte tomorrow. Knoxville, Saturday.

Knoxville, Tennessee. And then Little Rock, Arkansas. I really wonder how that's going to be. I've never played it. I bet it's fun. Yeah. Some of those cities are the best that's going to be. I've never played it. I bet it's fun. Yeah. Some of those cities are the best. No, I know.

I just never played it. I'm saying I wonder how I'm selling. I have no fucking idea how I'm selling there. Little Rock and then Nashville. And then I have a big Canada run that I'm doing. Some of it's sold out, but go check. CrystalDia.com. All right, kids.

Love you. See you soon. All right, kids. Love you.