The Golden Hour - Men's Group Therapy | The Golden Hour #79 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: May 10, 2024

The guys talk Netflix's Roast of Tom Brady, Katt Williams' comedy special, Chris' story about his wife coming home late after having some drinks, Erik's stories of his wife farting, their arguments with their wives, the viral Colombian cop, getting recognized in public, advanced deep fake AI voices and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast Arena Club - Right now, you can get 10% off your first purchase by going to: https://arenaclub.com/goldenhour

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Ooh, yeah It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power

Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour I was on the site for at least two and a half hours last night. You know which one went up last night? Drew Bledsoe. No. It would have. Oh, yeah.

I do have a Drew Bledsoe rookie card. The Ant-Man. Paul Rudd. No. Paul Rudd. Oh, yeah. I do have a Drew Bledsoe rookie card. The Ant-Man. Paul Rudd. No. Paul Rudd. Paul Rudd. Because they're killing Denver. My Nuggets are playing bad.

No, no, no. Your Nuggets are getting beat. They're not playing bad. They're getting beat. They're also playing bad, though. Minnesota's on fire. Minnesota. Are we starting?

Dude, listen. Anthony Edwards is the truth. He's the real deal. The guy from ER, I love him. I like George Clooney a little bit better, but. He's from Dude, listen. Anthony Edwards is the truth. He's the real deal. The guy from ER, I love him. I like George Clooney a little bit better, but. He's from Georgia, bro. Anthony Edwards was the second doctor on ER. That's right.

That's true. Dude, my knowledge of stuff is fantastic. Bullshit. There's a place in his brain for nonsense. So you think the Nuggets are done? Yeah. I don't know. I think maybe.

There's no way they're going to beat them four in a row. We'll see. We'll see. They might go seven, but who knows. But winning two and they beat them by 30. It's not good. Anyway, did you guys see the roast? Did you guys see the roast of Tom Brady?

It's so funny because I didn't watch it when it first came out. Then the next morning I wake up early. So I was watching. Dude, I was waking my kids up. I was laughing so goddamn hard. I'm going to tell you something right now. Tell me something. This is what I like about it, okay?

Cancel culture's over, like the whole woke movement? No, no, no, no, no, no. The thing is, is like Netflix doing live events and just Netflix themselves, what they provide is they don't have to answer to anyone. So they're direct to consumer. So when you're direct to consumer, we could put the rose back on. And if people at home are like, ooh, I didn't that joke it's like it's okay because netflix is like well we still got 40 million views so it's like we're fine correct and if you don't like it it's okay

for you not to like it but we're not going to like change our lives because we have some corporate sponsor we have to worry about and that's what i like about this now and so they're doing i like this idea of doing live events and they're trying to get into the live game. And they're doing it great. And the roast was hilarious. So good. I mean, from top to bottom, I thought it was pretty good. Crushed.

How about how Netflix was like, yeah, we're going to be streaming. Fuck live TV. And now they're just going back to live TV. And they have theaters. I know. That's so funny. But see, personally, I think that's great. Yeah, of course. No, no, no. I'm saying, let's say you have theaters. I know. That's so funny. But see, personally, I think that's great. Yeah, of course.

No, no, no. I'm saying like if you, let's say you have Netflix. I think part of your thing, you should be able to go to these Netflix movie theaters for free. Yeah. There should be tiers to it, you know? Oh, if you have like a subscription? Yeah, like the AMC Pass or something. Of course you think that, you cheap ass.

That'd be cool. What are you talking about? Of course you think that. You want free popcorn too there, man? Fucking guy, you cheap ass dude. I don't there, man? Fucking guy. Cheap ass, dude. I don't like how you're saying that. Cheap ass. Oh, my God.

As he pulls out his fucking dookie chains. Four. I thought Kevin Hart was so funny, man. Yeah, he was funny. He's funny. He's a funny guy. The whole thing was funny. I thought Bill Belichick was hilarious.

Yeah. Just from what you know of him. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Out of character, for sure. Yeah of him yeah out of character yeah it was out of character when Bill Belichick said fuck I was like

okay this is great you know what I don't like is when they did it on the Bieber roast too the Anchorman when he comes out oh Ron Burgundy

I don't want a character that was funny I didn't see it talking about Eli Manning that was funny it was funny I get it, but like... Will Ferrell is funny.

No, Will Ferrell is hilarious. That's his signature character. But it just doesn't... To me, it's like weird to put on a roast a character. Like the roast is all about like personal shit, real people, and then you're going to go ahead and put fucking a character from a movie 15 years ago on there? That's a change-up, bro. I know, I know, I know.

I don't like that. I don't like that. I thought the MVP was Nikki Glaser. It might be funny. Nikki Glaser. But she's the best at that shit, I think. I think she's the best. As far as straight roasting, she was so good. Yeah, she's so good.

Her cadence, the timing. I thought Tony was really funny. Well, that's his thing, too. Yeah. And then what I liked what they did for him is that they made it like, they said, and, you know, number one live podcast.

And he kind of did the Kill Tony thing. That shit is already big. But now I wouldn't be surprised if Netflix is like, you want to do this live on Netflix every, you know? I know. Because they had this John Mulaney show going on right now. That's live. He's got new hair. I saw him last night at the Comedy Store.

I said the same thing to him. I said, bro, love your hair. It's very poofy. It looks good. Does he have new hair? Let me see his new hairstyle. Yeah, it looks good. He looks good with his hair growing out a little bit.

Yeah, and then did you see Cat Williams' special? No. No. Live? Was it good? I watched nothing. The funniest joke on there, I only saw a little bit of it, but the funniest part that I saw was he was talking about the drug that's taking over Hollywood.

He was like, Ozempic. And he kept saying, it's too strong. It's too strong. Ozempic is too strong. And he said, Oprah took so much Ozempic, Gale lost 13 pounds. But just the way he did it, it is like- Yeah, he's so funny. He did it, it is like Cat Williams.

I'll watch that for sure. Yeah, but it's like, again, he did that live. I actually like, what do you think of that, Chris? Like if you were like recording a special live and then that's it. You just have one show. Just like if you were doing a show at ChrisDeLea.com, you can check out. I like it. Because Chris Rock did it, and it's like the most watched special ever.

Really? Because it was live. Because I think people know the stakes, so they kind of like that. And Chris messed up during his, and it's all good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they give you a little bit of, and they move forward. Yeah, I mean, it's cool. It's cool, yeah.

I mean, but don't they, didn't they, so after they do it. Then they fix it. They fix it, but they fix it because they already shot it again or what? Maybe. I mean, I kind of think that I would do it that way. if i was directing right i would be like we're gonna shoot one yeah yeah yeah we're gonna shoot one so you get it yeah yeah yeah and then we'll do that would be a good idea yeah you can watch my special at chrisdalia.com but i'm saying yeah you should by the way by the way you should watch oh thank you special it's very funny thank you very

vulnerable i directed it you know you didn't i. I directed it. You know? You didn't direct it. I wrote and directed it. No, you didn't either of those things. Wrote and directed it. All right, thank you very much. I wrote that. I got to say, I'd like to see that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, I would too.

If you want views. What's this shit? What is this? Why is the camera shaking? Too close. Back to camera. Why does the camera keep going down? Oh, he's getting his nicotine every five minutes.

So I think, but yeah, I like the thing i thought i thought the roast was really funny i so there was so many uh and there was so many points i mean and tom brady he was funny no he probably wasn't he was i didn't see funny i saw one thing he said it was funny his thing to kim kardashian was hilarious he was like she really doesn't want to be here tonight not because the jokes but because she has to leave her kids with the with her with their dad oh yeah yeah he didn't deliver it like that no it was awkward it was awkward everyone killed her no it was funny yeah i thought it was funny she got it they booed her it was funny i don't know they were cheering her by the end i don't like that they booed her yeah yeah i mean a good oj joke really she's something about

like i'm not going to defend my family's done enough defending of football players you know something like that oh that's funny um tom just drinks avocado shakes huh uh i don't know weird i don't know what tom brady drinks avocado dude this guy let me tell you what this refreshing this roast is done like you know He already is making $300 million from Fox. But what you don't know about these guys is Tom Brady's got a great personality. Yeah. You know what I mean? I saw him on that one special where they were talking about the tuck rule.

And he was with the defensive player from the other team, the Raiders. What's his name? Charles Woodson. Did you see that? Yep. That 30 for 30? Yeah. Even when I saw him talking with Charles Woodson, I was like, oh, this dude. He can do it.

We don't know this dude. That's what I love about sports. I mean, it's unlike what we do. Yeah, I know. They think they know us. I know. And then they're like, but this guy, they're aloof. It's all about the talent.

And then they come out and they're like, oh, wow, this guy's got great. I wish Eli Manning would have been there. I know. Why wasn't he there? Because you know it would have been like, you're my bitch. Did you see his tweet, though? What did he tweet? He lit him up.

He lit him up. Oh, he did? Yeah, bring up his tweet. It was funny. I mean, his brother was there. I know. I mean, dude, maybe he couldn't go, dude. No, dude.

You don't know the schedules? Jesus Christ. I thought about attending the roast of Tom Brady last night, but I did not want to roast him for a third time. Oh. 7.6 million. Imagine, though. He's saying that because he beat him twice, right? I thought about attending the roast of Tom Brady last night, but I did not want to roast him for a third time. 7.6 million. He's saying that because he beat him twice, right? I can put it together, dude. Imagine, though, that you're like, you know,

Tom Brady is like just unquestionably has the greatest quarterback career. You know what I mean? Amazing. Right? And this guy beat him twice. Wild. You know what I mean? So he can just like, no matter what, you're the greatest ever, but Eli can go, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Beat him twice. beat him twice. Wild. You know what I mean? So he can just like, no matter what,

you're the greatest ever but Eli can go, beat him twice. Beat you twice. Wild, right? But no one thinks he's good. That's the thing. Yeah, because his brother's Peyton, right?

Even I know that. Yeah. That's what's weird for him. Do you know that? I know about Peyton and Eli, yeah. Okay. They're funny. I always liked Peyton Manning

because he was always funny from the very beginning. They're funny, yeah. I was a fan of he was He was always funny From the very beginning Always yeah I was a fan of that Yeah I'm a fan of anybody That's like That has a personality

Well just wait Until I retire comedy And I start my Athletic career You're gonna see me Oh that'd be sick You're gonna see me Any more ads

Dude he You sent me You sent the group A picture of you In a UFC fight kit And that made me So mad Yeah

Doesn't matter Take that fucking off Well I got it. It's fake value. A legit way. How? Cody Durden gave it to me. He gave it to me.

He said, I'm in his team. I'm in his camp now. You're his coach? I'm going to go to his next. Dude, you look like an old coach. Yeah. I mean, of course I do. No, you look like his movement coach.

I'm 44. No, he looks like the yogi. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, remember when Conor McGregor had a movement coach? This is not your angle. You look like you come from the yogi. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, we're mirroring Conor McGregor at a movement coach. This is not your angle. You look like you come from the same camp as Zeno Sanchez's coach.

This is not your angle. You know what I was thinking? You know what I was thinking, actually? About this angle, about an angle like this is, I just thought, like, when you're having sex, right? You look like you just killed somebody. Well, yeah, because of the... But when you're having sex with your wife, right, and you're on top, okay? I thought about, well, that's interesting because you're bent over and the blood's all rushing to your face.

It's a bad angle. And I was like, I wonder how that looks, honestly. You do have more color in your face here. And I took my phone to see what my wife sees. And you fucked your phone. No, no, no. I just wanted to lean over. You fucked your phone.

Did you do like this? And I turned it around to selfie mode. And I look awful. Yeah. And we all look awful like that. No, no, don't bring us into your shit. Bro. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you guys look like awful. Yeah. And we all look awful like that. No, no. Don't bring us into your show. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You guys look like models. Good. Models. And it's- Yeah, the chunking is kind of- But they shouldn't have sex with us. It's disgusting.

It's disgusting. Is that your takeaway? Yeah. We are disgusting. No, no, no. Don't- Hey, that's just your face up there. Don's your takeaway? Yeah. We are disgusting. No, no, no. Don't. Hey, that's just your face up there. Don't bring us into this.

I'm just wondering if Chris has any insight on this. What is that? I know who I am. I would never jeopardize my family's only income. The truth will come out. There was no news about Cody Dirden. No one knew anything that happened. They tweeted this and like, oh, he must have gotten in trouble for for steroids but like nothing came out and now he's got a fight booked

but oh uh so i just wonder if you're here's coach what happened i thought this was about chris's picture uh so you guys know i know i don't know anything about it he's nice as fuck his wife's nice it's coach how did you link up with him? Because he was rocking the Life Rips mouthpiece. Yeah. He would write me, and then he was like, I love the podcast, and then check this out. And then he showed me the mouthpiece, and I was like, holy shit, that's awesome. Yeah, he's a stud. Yeah, he's cool.

Yeah. So now we're buds, and I'm in his corner. Does anyone really care if fighters do drugs? Yes. The commissions do. I don't. But I guess, well, I commissions do. I don't. But I guess – Most fighters don't.

I mean, it's weird. It's kind of like baseball rules. Like when guys get busted, you're kind of like, eh. No, but I think this is kind of – I think it would be different when fighting because if you're getting some advantage where now you can hit me with more force, I guess that sucks because of the drugs. I don't think that should be – Yeah, it's not good.

It's not good. But you guys really don't bring it up. Like, they're well against, like, TJ Dillashaw, who got busted for EPO when he cut down to 25. But isn't that different, though? Like, isn't there different? I mean, does it make you stronger or a sense that you're going to be able to, like, you know, Drago and Rocky IV?

No, it makes a difference because, let's say, we're both professional fighters and I'm on steroids. I can throw a kick a thousand times and not get tired. You can only throw it 200 times. So the reps and the recovery. And also, if you take enough steroids or Anovar,

you can do the thing where you go, and you do a hammer punch like that. And it's like an accordion. When it goes, you know what I mean? To your opponent. That's why he's a UFC coach, dude. And that's my... Come on, Cody. Let's work on the hammer accordion hit.

Accordion. Accordion. Accordion him. Accordion him. Wiley's got an IV of... So anyway, dude, I'm just trying to bring the comedy, man. I don't know. Did you take your funny pills today? I feel... so anyway dude I'm just trying to bring the comedy man I don't know you know it's like did you take your funny pills today I feel

so I went oh so I went to okay so I went to bed last night here we go midnight not too bad not good

well that's what I do okay you wake up at four yes so I wake up at not four yeah my wife had a birthday party to go to though so I'm like

all right I'll chill I'll put Calvin to bed you know she went to the birthday she went had a birthday party to go to though so i'm like all right i'll chill i'll put i'm gonna put calvin to bed you know she went to the birthday she went to the birthday party it was a dinner it was nice for her you know good good she gets out mom gets out right so i put calvin to bed uh 1a uh i guess it's 12 30 she texts she calls me hey come pick me up. I'm done. And I just say, no. I'm asleep, right? Get an Uber. If you need me, I'll come, but don't need me. Yeah, that's why Ubers exist.

Right, right, right. For this exact reason. So I'm sleeping, so I put the phone. And get a black, too, by the way. Yeah, I know, I know. So I put my phone down, and I fall and uh i i i fall asleep again you went night night i wake up to her in the room at two look who's here she has billy with her oh she's hammered right but she wasn't really hammered she was drinking yeah she wasn't she wasn't hammered we're going streaking no and i was like babe what are you

doing and she was like he was he was crying and and and and so i i just went to get him to make sure he was okay and i was like well you could have just left him you know he would have went back to sleep and she was like well i just want to make sure he's okay and she puts him in the bed okay in between us so fine whatever but then i'm like i gotta wake up i know i gotta she's gonna maybe she'll be able to sleep in but i won't be able to because i gotta come here right so like so i'm like i'm like i gotta i gotta get up for yeah but i gotta wake up at nine yeah to get over here and that's too early it's too early yeah for me it's too early so so because i need eight hours i need nine hours of sleep yeah if you go to bed at midnight i need nine hours of sleep. Yeah. If you go to bed at midnight. I need 10 hours of sleep.

So I'm like, all right, whatever. So she puts the baby down in between us. And an hour later, just. The baby, right? Just in the middle of us. Yeah, not my wife. Not my wife. That's not her.

How much did she drink? She might have been on acid, bro. It's just Chris and Billy looking at her like, what's wrong with her? So in the middle, just... Right? And I'm like, oh, God. Okay. But I'm like, but it's kind of cute, though.

So I'm like... Not like hitting me or anything. Just... So I'm just like, all right, it's kind of cute but i'm like and it lasts for a long time so i'm like babe can you go put him in a crib like i gotta wake up and she was like you do it and i was and i say don't you care about this family no and i say you're out all night i didn't i didn't bring him up here. Fair point.

And I wouldn't have. And she says, come on, you could do it. I had to bring him up. And I said, but you brought him up. And she said, it's not my fault. And I said, whose fault is it? Whose fault is it? Well, they're masters at it.

Yeah, yeah. Can I guess? Okay. Well, so I go, I say, all right. In my head, I ain't bringing them down. This night's fucked for both of us.

Hey, shake hands with it. That's how I go. Shake hands with it. Yeah, I like this. We're both fucked tomorrow. And here's what I know. I may be tired at work, but I'm not going to be hung over, baby. Who's going to be hung over work but i'm not gonna be hung over baby who's gonna be who's gonna be hung over so so so i'm so i'm in the bed just never stopping like he's the guy from police

academy do you know what i mean just doing all the fucking and so he's doing a leaf blower. So, yeah, Bobby McFerrin. So, I'm, so she's like, babe, please, can you bring him down my head? And what time is this? Two, no, no, at this point it's 3.30. Oh, you're fucked. So she says, please, my head's killing me. And I go, you gotta be fucking kidding me. I go, all right.

I bring him up. I'm bringing him Down to the bed You know He goes Just all the way down And she's like Dude she goes

Make sure you fill up the bottle And feed him before I go You know what I do Yeah I just Yeah I go

Gotcha Tight move And you know what I say Huh Okay Do you know what I did Nothing Not that

I put him down in the crib Because just leave him He'll be fine Yeah Okay that i put him down in the crib because just leave him he'll be fine yeah okay so i put him father of the year over here he goes he goes in he goes he sits down in bed goes to sleep doesn't move just goes he's done he goes to sleep right she should have done that from jump she should have just left him right right so i come back upstairs and um i'm like babe that's so annoying you know that you made me do that like i have to go to do goals now i have to like be on and and like i'm so tired and she was like i couldn't help it it's not my fault he was up and he was saying stuff and he was like and i

wanted to make sure that he was okay so so yeah please get me out so i bad timing, but so I, so I'm like, so I'm like, okay. So I go and I look at the nanit. I look at the nanit. Oh, I love it. Because I want to see. I'm with you on this. I'm so tired. Because I want to see, and I'm so tired, but I want to see how much my son was talking. I want to see how much my son was being loud that made Kristen come in to get the baby, right?

Okay. Kristen was being loud. This Kristen come in to get the baby, right? Okay? Kristen was being loud. This is what I'd say. Now, I judge it with a nine. 2 a.m. is when she comes in. 2 a.m. it says taken out of bed. So I go, 158. Let's go.

158. Here's Billy. Okay. 159. Here's Billy. Okay. 159. Here's what he does. 2 a.m. This is what happens. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

Hi, hi. Dude, she woke him up she missed him yeah and and no matter what it's gonna be my fault it's gonna be was she able to sleep in though she had to get up i tell you i was just about to say you know know what she's going to say? What? Well, if you had come and picked me up. Oh. Fuck you.

That's where it all stems from. This happens to me all the time. I tell you, man. Rachel was in the car one time, farted, and almost killed us. Yeah. She farted? Yeah. Just almost killed us.

In the car? Yeah. Because this is what she does. I realize that she farts all the time, but they're like silent. It's kind of one of these moves. Yeah. And then you go, okay, I don't have to say anything. Okay.

Okay. You know what I mean? Or does she go, God, it stinks over here. No, no, no. She'll just be like that. So then this one was one of those ones where I'm like, you know, hit me where I'm like. We almost crashed. Woo-hoo! Yeah. They pull you over? Yeah. I'm like, you know, hit me where I'm like. We almost crashed. Woo-woo-woo-woo.

Did they pull you over? Yeah, I was like, what the fuck? Was that a fart? I said, babe, what? You know? And she goes like this. She goes, well, you took us to Chipotle. I was like, hold on.

It's my fault? This is my fault. And here's the thing, too, though. We went to Chipotle because of the five options I gave that she said no to. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? You want to go to this one? No.

You want to go to this one? No. After the five ones, I'm like, like okay let's just go to chipotle there yeah yeah yeah right and then it's like staple but like with a straight face just like yeah she's a master at making stuff my fault i like i like that i i i i i but the thing is okay so when you so when she says that and then you say like what the fuck it's my fault what then what okay this is what happens this is this is what happens. This is Rachel's Kung Fu. It's spectacular.

Okay? Right. So now she'll say that, you know? Right. And be like really on me about it. Like, well, you know. Right. You know what she probably does to me.

Then you get mad, right? You're just like, what are you talking about? Right? Now, are you mad or are you funny mad? It's the same thing. You're frustrated. Okay, okay, okay. And you're at a point of frustration because you know it's like, what are you talking about? Now, are you mad or are you funny mad? It's the same thing. You're frustrated. And you had a point of frustration because you know it's like, what are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have history and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know it's a waste of time. And then this is what happens, though. If I get to a certain level of mad, she'll be like this. Whoa. There you go. Whoa, anger management.

There you go. But wait. Oh, Jesus. But this is the kung fu. Now I have to apologize. Yeah, Kung Fu. Now I have to apologize. Yeah. I have to apologize for getting mad about some shit she did. She did fart.

Then I'm like this. All right. You know, I did get. I'm sorry. Yeah. I did overreact. I'm sorry. Right.

You know, then she says, thank you. Oh, God. She won. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, God. Thank you. Thank you. Again. This is my fault. This is my fault.

This is my fault. I took a touch of fault. I'm so sorry. I took you, fed you a lot. But just the same thing. Arguments make you gassy. Mindful.

I know, I'm dealing with that now. We don't even put Wolf in a crib. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He hates don't even put wolf in the uh yeah yeah he hates it he hates pacifiers yeah and he hates crips you know you don't like it yeah but how long did you try the crib for oh rachel just can't handle yeah yeah it's tough she can't handle the stuff she can't handle this yeah yeah i know a little bit i get that though women like i did it you came from it came from you to hear her cry.

But he's just, like, right there, you know. But right now, he's real super fussy. So it's like, this is the only way I can put him to sleep. I'm laying down. I sit him up on me like this. I hold his head like this. And I just go like this. Oh, that's funny.

I just do this. And he'll, I'm talking about. That's funny. He'll be like this. He'll fall asleep, right? And then sometimes I'll put him on my chest. And he'll sleep for a couple hours. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm just like this. You're wide awake? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I can't. sometimes I'll put him on my chest and he'll sleep for a couple hours and I'm just,

Oh, really? Yeah, I'm just like this. You're wide awake? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I can't, because I feel like I don't want to be like, you know? But still,

he sleeps like that, but now he's been a little fussy, so like, if I put him like this, he starts doing, and then I pick him right up, nothing. Huh.

You know? Yeah, yeah. Laying on his back, nothing. Now he's smiling too. Yeah, yeah. So when he sees me, he starts to smile.

Aw. So that's like, you know, that don't melt your heart. Oh, he's smiling too. Yeah, yeah. So when he sees me, he starts to smile. Aw. So that's like, you know, that don't melt your heart. Oh, yeah. Forget it. Yeah, so if I'm doing this in the morning. Then your wife fucks up and farts. Yeah, she'll kill us both. All three of us just dead in the room.

So what the fuck, dude? Like, we can't get, like, angry. Or we can get angry, but we can't raise our voice. So it's because nowadays that's assault. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? You get locked up. But this is the thing, man.

This is one of the things I talk about on stage now. It's your tone. I know. No, no, but this is what I'm saying. I always tell people, let me tell you when you win in the fight. You're winning the fight when they go, I don't like your tone right now. Yeah i i get it but but you want to win no no but this is what i'm saying though is like that's when that's but but the fight could end it could already end at this point all we need is a little bit of like oh i see what you're saying no oh no there's none of that

there's none of that that's what i'm talking about and i know now so i just go oh here it is so now when she does that you're just like you know i just don't like how you're talking to me yeah yeah yeah i know you're okay now i know i go got her it's also just such a waste of time i know what was the other day my wife got to do it last night she had some big box delivered came at like 1 p.m i got home after baseball like seven i didn't sit down to chill from 4 a.m to 7 so i get home from baseball the kids i put them to bed i sit down she goes uh i text you earlier you're gonna get that box i went yeah i'll get to it i'll bring it up she goes no you need to do it now i'm like like, no, I just sat down. Right. And she's like, fine, I'll do it.

I was like, it's a heavy-ass box. I went, if you can't wait five minutes, go ahead and get your ass down the stairs and get the box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she carries it up, mad. I'm never asking her to do anything again. I'm like, if you just waited five minutes, we wouldn't have this problem. And then it's World War III. Hey, I got a question.

How'd you get the box you're welcome yeah dude what you're talking about right now but in my head i go what a wait because we're arguing for 30 minutes over i went oh what a waste of time yeah that's why you should have just got the box but but but nah man let's Nah, man. Let's take a little break. Yeah, let's do it. Because guys like us, Eric, we like cards, dude. You remember as a kid just ripping open that pack, the excitement you'd get? I do. Tops, upper deck.

You know what I mean? Different ones. Which ones do you have, Chris? Right now, my favorite card that I have is the Cody Durden UFC card. Oh. So. Did they make him a card? Yep, they did.

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That's $40 right there. Anyways, that's arenaclub.com slash golden hour for 10% off your first purchase. No, no, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. One of my biggest things is I hate being given chores on a whim. And they love to do that. That's funny. So if I'm just like, are you coming?

I just, okay. Just like, hey, the dishwasher. Oh, I need you to go get this thing out of the car. And you're planning to chill. You know what I mean? That's my thing. No, no. It's at this point, too.

Sit down. It's at this point. Can you go get that? Yeah, I do it. Can you go get that? And so then you're just kind of like, I just go, hey, well, you're giving me chores. I don't want to do chores right now. I have chores time.

There's a chores time where I'm like, hey, let's get this done. Okay. You know? But like... There's chores mode. Yeah. This is chill mode. This is...

I just... Read the modes, bitch. No, but the thing is... Read the modes. But it's their thing. Like, oh, hey, first of all, it'll take Rachel like two and a half hours to get ready to leave with the baby now. Yeah, well, yeah. Which I don't understand.

Well, just start. I just don't get it. Just start at the time where you'll be done at the time. Oh, to leave. Yeah. Just start at the time you need. Dude, but she knows. Don't start after that. We're knows. Don't start after that.

We're late. Don't start after that. Start before the time you need to get out the door by three. Yeah, but you're making- They're also packing for like an apocalypse. You're making this- Bro. I'm like, why is there a hundred diapers?

We're leaving for an hour. Adam DeVine had this thing. He lives out in Newport on the bay, whatever, right? So we're going. It's a little family thing. He's like, it's not going to be a banger. I go, dude, I know the bangers are done. We have kids.

You know what I mean? We're supposed to. It's 11 to 4. Oh, yeah. Dude, I got mad because I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's 11 to 4.

There's a window. There's a window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we're not going to stay later. I don't want to stay later. I actually want to I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's 11 to 4. There's a window. There's a window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we're not going to stay later. I don't want to stay later. I actually want to leave early. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

So I'm sitting here. What time is it? It's like, you know, it's 9. You know? Okay, not bad. Yeah, but Newport. Because the baby was up. Newport.

I know. Yeah, the baby's up. So it's like, you know, we're ready to go. It's like, and here's the thing. It's not even about getting the baby ready. It's her. No, no, no, I know, yeah. She comes down in her dress.

Hey, you think this looks good? Don't give a fuck. Of course. Wear whatever you want. You could be in a fucking chicken costume. But beyond that, what percent of the time do you say, when she comes down, you like this? And then you say, oh, that looks great.

Do they change? Because for me, it's 90%. Oh, bro, bro, I've learned. The first one is a trap. The first one, you got to go like that. On the first one, I've learned that. The first one, I go, I don't like that no on the first one i've learned now the first one i go i don't like that that's hilarious yeah i don't care how it looks yeah yeah i don't care how it looks the first one i go uh i mean wow if you want and then she because i already know she's

gonna go yeah yeah yeah i do i do the same thing but i go oh i just something's off in it yeah yeah yeah i don't know what it is, but something's off. She changed like five times. Yeah. Okay, and this is the thing, too. That's crazy. And the thing, too, is like, I don't know, what are you doing up there? And then this is what I love.

It's now two hours. Oh, we're not going. No, no. And she goes, well, just get ready. Oh, I know, I know, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And the thing, too, thing too was like i go she goes you don't have your shoes on i go yeah yeah that that's crazy bro i'm like listen i said i guarantee you yeah i will be ready before you yeah i love this too as i could have went and came now i know like sometimes i'm just sitting in my underwear she She's getting ready. We have to leave. I go, I go, don't worry. I guarantee I'll be in the car before you. Yeah.

So it's not even a question. You know, this is like, I don't know what, I don't know what they do. I got to look on my, I have cameras in every room now. I got to start looking like,

I want to just go like, what are you doing? What is that right there? What are you doing? Yeah, dude. What are you doing? Staring at belts?

A light coming out of her. What the fuck is this? I'll pull the emergency brake and she'll be like, ah, they canceled it. We're not going in. No, no, no. Oh, they canceled it. I'm committed because we're at this point. And then if I have the baby, too.

That's another one, too. You know why you have to take the baby when they're getting ready? You have to take the baby now because they'll be like, well, I'm taking care of the baby. I know. I know. So now I take the baby and I have the baby. And we're just sitting here like waiting for her.

It'd just be crazy, bro. Then it becomes about her. Because I'm like, now we're waiting for you. But we're bad. What's our side of the thing? Three and a half hours. Oh, there's nothing. What are we doing?

We're crazy. We're ready to go. But we're also crazy. We're ready to go. We have to drive. Right, right. Okay? This is what we're talking about. There's nothing. What are we doing? We're crazy. We're ready to go. Yeah. But we're also crazy. We're ready to go. We have to drive. Right, right. Okay? This is what we're talking about.

There's nothing. I feel like Eric's less crazy. I get ready in 15 minutes. Oh, that's a long time. Yeah. I'm saying with shower. I am. Like, shower included.

He's like, hey, I showered. I ironed my shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm five minutes. i always i always get ready to come here and i'm like fuck i'm gonna be late and then i get ready in like six minutes and i'm like oh no i'm gonna be fine i can't stand where it's like you know everything you're ready to go all this stuff and it's always something at the door like at the door it'll be like oh i need to go poop or at the door oh i need to go you know no we're not going you know we're not that's you you just you just pull it like that yeah i just

gotta text to cancel it oh i can't do that no because they'll see they'll see those stories on instagram oh they didn't cancel it i don't know you got this shit he lied to us yeah i don't know man i just it's a it's a it's a world of – because the thing too is you can't just not having a kid. When you don't have a kid, you go, hey, you want to go to Sizzler or whatever you're going to do? And it's literally like six minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We made the choice. Right, right, right, right.

Keys. Right. Let me just change this. Okay, so maybe 25 minutes. Right, right, right. You're out the door. You're gone. A kid, man.

You got to load up the car. You got to load up the car. You got to load up the car. Yeah, no, it's a lot. Oh, how about this? Two days of water. So I got to go down. I got to go down. You know, you take the baby in the thing.

And then you put the fucking stroller. You put the stroller in the back. And boom, have her get set up. Oh, this is another one. How about this? We're on the way home. And the baby's getting fussy. We're like six minutes from home.

Pull over. I need to feed him. No, no, I won't. You control the car. Have you stick up for yourself? Oh, yeah. Yes. Oh, my God. It's just like six minutes of hell.

And not even because of the baby. No. Because she's just like. I was like, we're six minutes from home. So you have to pull over, take the baby out of the car seat sit in the back feed this baby burped a baby It's insanity. It's insanity. So we want to spend 45 minutes on the side of the road We're six fucking minutes from the house. No, I drive like it's fast and furious at that point Oh kids yelling girl won't shut up This was one of those ones Rob I was just like, fuck it.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in a neighborhood. In the car, she's in the back. Oh, you really pulled over. That's the difference between us. It was, no, no, no. You know when.

I said there's levels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's levels. There's like a breaking point here, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most of, if she's here, you're like, I can deal with it. She's going to deal with it. But hey, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's levels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When she's in this over here, then it's like, I got to pull over. She's going to deal with it. But hey, yeah, yeah. It's levels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When she's in this and over here, then it's like, I got to pull over. Man, sometimes I'll welcome it. You want to go crazy? Let's go crazy. But I feel like I can see my roof.

Right, right, right, right. But I'm just like, the fucking roof is right there. We could just, why are we stopping right here? You know? I'll be like, I'll see you inside. I'm going to pull over. I'll start walking. Wow.

You're bad. Yeah, you are terrible. You're bad. You're a bad guy. I'm going to be in St. Petersburg on Saturday, and then Chattanooga coming up here. Is that Florida and then Tennessee? Yeah, and then Charleston, West Virginia.

And then I have Irvine, Des Moines, Green Bay, and then Australia. Jesus. I'm going to be at Phoenix with Rife because we're preparing for his special. Another Netflix special I'm directing. And then I don't really have some dates yet, but I will. Are you doing more directing?

I'm trying to, man. You need to do Callan's. He said he wants me to. In black and white. I told Callan to do his in black and white. Like Charlie Callum, dude, he's in black and white. That would be the word. Like Charlie Chapman. Oh, like when it starts like this.

Yeah. With the white line. Yeah. Then it just opens up and it's like really fast. It's a silent movie. Yeah, silent. He's just doing his bird shit. It just cuts to a card with words on it.

Yeah. That's the jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I slap my own ass. He's just doing his bird shit. Yeah, it just cuts to a card with words on it. Yeah. That's the joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I slap my own ass. That's the thing. Yeah. Yeah. What you got, Nick?

Well, whatever. But, you know, if you have something, we have something. This pissed me off. What? What? Harvard Medical Students did a rap video. Oh, and they're in mask? Does it come with strings?

Scale one to ten, can you rate the pain? When I knock the door, you ask, who is it? You can check my coat, it'll spell my name. Ah, yeah. Ah, yeah. Yeah, you're messing with some Harvard MDs. Found my best friends for life from this Harvard MD. Giving everything we got for this Harvard MD. What the fuck?

Cut over to me, and I'm preparing the gun to kill myself. You got your offer, now say yes to this Harvard MD. We're talking doctor. What the fuck? Cut over to me and I'm preparing the gun to kill myself. Or you're on the operating table just like. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Just. And they're just. Why are. That is maddening. And they're supposed to be the smartest minds in America.

I love that. And wokeness. be the smartest minds in America, right? I love that. And wokeness? Yeah. The best. It's the best. I follow that. I love some of the- It's just how I like to piss myself off in the morning.

But- Hey, they said this music video by Harvard Medical School made me lose my will to live. Let me tell you something. Go back to it. Let me tell you what infuriates me. They're outside. Well, yeah. With the masks.

It's a sickness at this point. Willie makes sense. He's 90. He catches a cold. He's fucked. These are 25-year-old fucking healthy kids outside. It's a mental illness. I feel like somebody white came up with this idea and then they looked around the room and they were like, Yeah. And I almost feel like... It's a mental illness. I feel like somebody white came up with this idea.

And then they looked around the room and they were like... Yeah, yeah. Jamila. Her. Gotta be you, right? They were like, who's gonna... Jamila, you can rap, right? That's so funny. I thought the same thing.

You know what I mean? It's like, come on! It's so obvious. It's like they found the one black girl in the class. And the Indian girl. Like, yeah, I think Rasha Sean Khan. Can one of you guys carry this for us? So we're doing this rap video.

We need one of you to be the rapper. Who should it be? Pull up that Brazilian cop. Oh, I talked about this on my podcast already. You sent it to me during my podcast, and I was like, this is hilarious. Oh, really? You sent it to the group chat? Yeah.

It's a cop. That's hilarious. Dang it. Oh, really? Were you already talking about it? Yeah. No, no, no. Because I was doing my podcast, and I got the text, and I was like, what?

And I played it. Cheeks. I mean. It's just like. No, but it's like, this is what's messed up about it. Like, you're with your wife because you like soccer. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean?

And you're just like, yeah, we're here. You're in your gear. And then you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. God. And you got to pretend you don't see it. I know, but the game is over here, and you're like, God damn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you got to bring attention to it. I was just like, I think yeah. God. You got to pretend you don't see it. I know, but the game is over here. You're like, God damn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you got to bring attention to it.

I was just like, I think that's real. Disgusting. What the fuck? Babe, I wonder if she... That would be so weird to see. I mean, I know it's... By weird, you mean awesome. I know it's Brazil, and Brazil's crazy, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's... I don't know what I worried about in Brazil. Like, for Brazilians to be, like, worried about there's a beautiful cop is like, you're in Brazil. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not in freaking, you know... I don't know.

Where else can we be? Did you find a dick or no? No. What? We had a long group chat. What day was this? Yeah, it was... Oh, you know what you do to find stuff he

knows that right uh nick you just go to like yeah you just hit the top here nick hit the top and then it shows you all the links and stuff it's one of the more recent ones right here brendan's showing you he's texting you but yeah it's it's but it was like it was like she looked like kim kardashian at the met Gala with the fucking, the hourglass. And then like done up too. Like not just like no makeup. Well, I mean, imagine you're getting arrested. Freeze!

Getting pulled over. Attracting more attention than the players. Believe it or not, many women were angry about her work. Oh, I believe it. Indeed, Colombian Alexia Narvaez Oh, she's called not only an excellent policewoman But also an influencer is often called upon to ensure security in certain stadiums Lock me up!

No, but her typical Colombian woman's beauty attracts attention wherever she goes That's hilarious. To the point that she says it's common to hear things like she can pin you down She takes me by the reins and even with, I'd give her a ticket per week. Indeed, although Alexia is an authority, she has never stopped taking care of her physique and beauty. But her presence in the stadiums has not been well perceived by women who claim that their husband watches the policewoman more than the match. And to say that such a woman should not be in the police and should be on the corner. Good. What do you think of this story? That's the new voice.

Yeah. The new, like, you know. I think that's cool. So she provides some security hey look hey she could have a

fucking water gun I don't give a fuck here's the crazy part though wait wait let me make this point she could have a nerf gun here's the crazy part right

if she was fat then I'm worried it would be the same story how is this cop able to stop anybody but you can even make that video

but it wouldn't be you can even make that video and post it if they were out of shape yeah but they shouldn't be able to make this. But you couldn't make that video. But it wouldn't be. You couldn't make that video and post it if they were out of shape. Yeah, but they shouldn't be able to make this. Well, the guy made the video like it would be different if it was some wife who made the video. It was like, look at this whore on the sideline.

But that's the message that they're getting from people. But it's like, you know, I just thought, I was like, she's like, she's like, this is my thing. She fine, fine. So she must just really like being a cop. Well, that's what I was saying. Like, it doesn't get enough off OnlyFans.

Well, the cool, the cool thing about it is that she can just like, she doesn't have to do shit. Yeah. And so like, God bless, dude. That's great. Like, that's cool that she wants to be a cop. I'm out jumping from a bullet for her. Like, that makes sense. He saved the cop. You got OnlyFans? She's cool that she wants to be a cop. I'd jump in front of a bullet for her. They're like, that makes sense.

He saved the cop. You got OnlyFans? She's like, no, I'm a cop. That would blow your mind. I'd rob a bank. What do you mean? Exactly. She's like, you're an influencer.

A cop is like police. You get a badge and a gun. Enforce rules and stuff. What are you? You play a badge and a gun. Enforce rules and stuff? What are you? You play a cop on TV? That's actually great. That's what I do. It's like, I don't know.

I don't even think she has one. I'm not following. She couldn't have one. Wait, she wouldn't even have one. We live in a day and age now where we pretend like we're okay with porn. Yeah, but we're not. No, she would be off the force.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no way. Oh, no way. Because you see all these stories. Teachers get fired all the time. All the time with these fine-ass teachers. There, but we're not. No, she would be off the force. Yeah, there's no way. Teachers get fired all the time. All the time with these fine ass teachers. There's one teacher I saw. I'm like, what the fuck? Pay the bitch more.

My teachers look like fucking warlocks. Where was this? My Mr. Phillips was handsome, but okay. It'd be like teacher gets fired for OnlyFans. Like, in what fucking world do the teachers look like this? I wonder if there is a male OnlyFans teacher. Oh, yeah. Oh do the teachers look like this? I wonder if there is a male OnlyFans teacher. Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow. Yeah. How come he hasn't been fired? Because he's smart. He doesn't blast it out there. Do we care? I don't know. That's what I'm saying.

It's such a weird thing. There's probably not a male OnlyFans teacher. Guarantee there is. I mean, there are a lot of people out there. But he's probably gay, right? But he probably has a family, so he keeps under wraps. I don't know. That's a terrible way to, right? But he probably has a family so he keeps under wraps. I don't know. That's a terrible way

to keep under wraps. He probably has a wig on. No, I think there's... Or he leaves his face out of it. There's people that have sex with people, guys who are having sex with women on OnlyFans.

Yeah, what do you mean? They're in a relationship? They're in a relationship or that's the thing that they do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have their like, you know, their spouseouse whatever thing

Yeah I You know I don't know I think that it's okay to do that Nick knows OnlyFans Is there a male teacher on OnlyFans I'm sure We'll find one Guarantee it

Also it doesn't mean they're showing their dick. I don't think it even matters. He's not making enough money. Well, it sure matters for the school. They'll definitely fire him. No, no, no. What I'm saying is you think that would matter if they go, they went, you're an OnlyFans, and his argument was,

but I'm not even showing my dick. I'm teaching science. I don't think that would be the- Should I click? Hell yeah. No, he said, I'm a male high school teacher with and only fans. Does that mean he subscribes to OnlyFans? No.

I think you're about to see this. He's got an OnlyFans. Click on it. Oh. I mean... Go ahead, lock in, Nick. You're over 18, Nick. They're not going to show it.

It's just him saying he masturbates. There's not much to the story. Yeah, 18, Nick. They're not going to show it. It's just him saying he masturbates. There's not much of a story. Yeah, yeah, anonymous. Oh, so I'm a high school English teacher with a very large penis. I make anonymous masturbation videos. No face or talking. Told you. I'm not exactly popular.

I'm not exactly popular. But we're making $30,000 extra a year? I have enough regular followers that I add an average of $25,000 to $30,000. That's double his salary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had to fabricate the story 25 to 30k that's double his salary yeah yeah i've had to fabricate the story that i manage my family's real estate on the side as my co-workers have wondered how he's showing up in ferrari uh oddly enough got the idea from overhearing a few of my students joking about how they would open only fans if they had a huge dick he's like say less dude he must have a real weapon on him no not really because that's not a lot of money

He must have a real weapon on him. No, not really because that's not a lot of money. For a teacher, he makes maybe $40,000, almost double your salary, and all he is is jacking off. You're doing all that for $3,000 a month, I guess? He's just jacking off, bro. Nobody knows it's him. I get why he'd do it. All right.

And he also says, I don't do any grunts or moans. Is that what he said? Yeah, so he can't tell Tim. Yeah, like somebody's going to be watching and be like, and they go like, wait, was that? I just changed your voice. Was that Mr.? Change your voice.

Hold on a minute. Oh, my God, that feels good. What? I am definitely not a teacher in Des Moines. I've got to be in London. Oh, my God. That would be terrible And then there was He's gonna do the same bit over and over again

Like I do There's the UWL Chancellor University of Wisconsin-La Crosse Who had his only fans with his wife We talked about that in here And he did get fired Yeah that was disgusting He didn't get fired?

He did get fired As much as we say we're okay He did, yeah. And he did get fired. Yeah, that was disgusting. He didn't get fired? He did get fired. Oh, he did. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. As much as we say we're okay, we're really not. That's because they're ugly, though. The free speech thing falls flat, though, because it's a company. If the university wants to make that rule, they can make that rule. Yeah, yeah.

It is frowned upon, though. That's the thing I don't get. Yeah, it's not. What? Yeah, I totally agree. There's free speech, but then there's also you can't do anything that would harm the brand that you're working for. That's what I'm saying. Well, no, it's just like when you walk into a donut shop.

It says right there we have the right to refuse service to anybody. It's the same thing. People have rules and regulations. It's like you have to follow those rules and regulations. If they have a moral code of conduct in a contract, then you have to follow that. Yeah, you can't be like, well, I can't show my asshole on Facebook. Fuck this. It's America.

Free speech. Facebook doesn't want it. And that's how it is. That's America. Yeah, you're not going to go to prison for that. Twitter, completely different. Yeah. I mean, people still use Twitter for, like, news stuff.

still use Twitter for like news stuff and then also there will be under it two pussies getting fucked alternatively. Yeah. With like breaking news. World War 3. And it's just like like what you see.

And then there's some guy under that that goes shut up whore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so weird, bro. Yeah. I just. Well, that's why I don't. It's like, you know, I have a kid now.

So I'm like, I mean, like, do they have a way to make sure Twitter is not. Filter it. Yeah, there's something you can do, right? There's something you can do. It just seems crazy, man. It just seems crazy. Like, that's something you can do right there's something you can do it just seems crazy it just seems crazy like that's how you find out anything I mean I

I am old dude I had to like get porn on my black and white TV there was a station it was fuzzy

you would go to it and then there would be like a line purple and green yeah it would be like but some days you might get a tit some days no some days it would be like it would capture a good and I would be like a line through it. Purple and green. Yeah, it would be like – but some days – You might get a tit.

No, some days it would be like you would capture a good, and I would be like – Game on. But what I'm saying is I was still doing that, and my mom's in the other room not knowing that I'm actually – I could see porn. So imagine – if she would have figured that out, that would have put a stop just to that.

Yeah, that's what it was like. See, just that face was enough for me when I was about 12. Yeah, man. That would do it. There's always that purple and green shit. If I got a tit, my lord. But what I'm saying now is your kid can now just be on a phone and just be like. Easy access.

I heard my friend say, what's double penetration cream pie? What do you mean? You heard your friend say it. That's what I'm saying. I was thinking your kid is going to be, you know, Calvin's just going to be on the phone just being like, you know, wait, I heard this before. I heard cream pie.

What is that? Is that a good pie? My son has the Apple Watch. What's DP? Dr. Pepper. He'll talk into it for the text, you know, because he can only text me and his mom when he's at school to pick him up and he was telling me something but the it's the the apple

the way it does his voice he was like dad i'm catching pedophiles in the backyard oh no and i looked down like what the fuck so i come out there and i go what are you doing i'm catching pop flies pop fly oh pop fly so different that's dude oh yeah so different how you deal with that is completely yeah i was like hey hey good for him catching them though huh i know i was like i like you guys the old man and he's just like i got him pedophiles catching flies yeah but uh so that is interesting i hear people that's the thing parents are doing you're not giving them a phone yeah you're giving them the there's no apps on there you can't search can't do anything can only text me and his mom but he talks into it but that thing pop flies pedophiles i was like maybe he does you know slurred speech like

his dad but still pedophiles the pop flies apple recognized that well maybe they were being overly cautious apple was like hey we don't know that's for sure what he said but we better we don't want to get sued that technology is trash yeah it's bad they need to get rid of it it would be like if your car barely started like if you if you got in the car and like occasionally one out of ten just went you're like what the fuck and they're like yeah sometimes it doesn't work you'd be like if your car barely started. Like, if you got in the car and, like, occasionally it just went, you're like, what the fuck? And they're like, yeah, sometimes it doesn't work. You'd be like, I don't like this. That voice texting is trash, man.

It's so bad. And then you're in your car. First, you're like, if I'm texting you guys, like, hey, guys, I'm on the way to traffic, whatever, and it says something completely different. I'm like, what the fuck, man? Now you're in your car like this. Hey, guys, the traffic is, you know, and it still fucks it up. And you can't use lingo.

Like, there's none of that. But the AI can make our voices and do all this stuff. I feel like they're holding back on that technology on purpose. Yeah, they can't give it to you all at once. Did you see the AI thing about the guy? Interviewing himself? about the guy... Interviewing himself? No, it was a black man

that put together AI-leaked audio of the white principal being racist, and it's not real. And the principal got fired? I don't know, because they found out

it was fake. But the principal was like, we'll take their black asses, and it would just sound like some dude. Wow. See if you could look it up. Yeah.

Well, I mean. I saw this. You did. Okay. That's the world we live in. That's where we're headed. Well, now you just can't believe anything. You're going to have to come up with a watermark or something.

You just can't believe anything. That's got to be. But they have to come. They need to. The laws need to start moving faster. I have the link if you want it. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. If you have a. Let me find it. But that's the thing. Laws got to move faster. I mean, that's got to be illegal. It has to be. It has to be Yeah. Yeah? Okay. If you have a... Let me find it. But that's the thing. Law has got to move faster. I mean, that's got to be illegal. It has to be. It has to be illegal.

It's already crazy that people can just say whatever they want to say about you, but now they can say whatever they want to say and be like... And it's you. And here... But then think about it, because YouTube can make clips now. Like, oh, look, Eric went on this racist tirade. Right. Look at the clip.

It gets a million views. They get paid on that. They're like, that's fake. They're like, my bad. Take it down. Look at the clip. It gets a million views. They get paid on that. They're like, that's fake. My bad. Take it down. They still got paid. It's going to be really hard to... It's too fast. They'll just put up another one. The athletic director used AI

to create a fake racist audio of the principal. Now, this surrounds the athletic director by the name of Dajon Darian, who allegedly retaliated against the principal, Now, this surrounds the athletic director by the name of Dajon Darien, who allegedly retaliated against the principal, Eric Eisworth. students to meet their grade level expectations. Lawrence and Ravenel should have never been hired. And don't let me get started on DJ. I'm going to drag his black ass out of here one way or another. I'm just so sick of the inadequacies of these people. And if I have to get one more complaint from one more Jew in this community, I'm going to join

the other side. Did you all hear that? Is that not insane? That's crazy. I mean, if you're really listening to it, you could be like, okay, maybe it's AI, but like... No, I would never think that. You'd never think that. Now you're going to start to think that. start to think yeah which you should now is this girl in one of these people that's like this is outrageous or no she's acknowledging the ai just just reporting it yeah what no i'm saying does this girl know that it's ai yeah oh yes yes yes yes yes yes because now a lot of

people like this are gonna like they're gonna feel stupid well yes. Because now a lot of people like this are going to, like, they're going to feel stupid. Well, imagine Russia gets a hold of this and then they have Biden, which isn't hard to do, AI saying we're going to war. Then they send that to Iraq. Iraq doesn't know it's fake.

You know? Like, we're launching nuclear war and then Iraq's like, what the fuck? I hope that's not a thing. It is now. There's something. It is now.

They're going to have to to i don't know man it's a disaster let's just have an ai debate between trump and biden that'd be great they're not even there they're just in other rooms resting yeah they might this was awesome so funny oh dude so funny Oh, dude. So funny. Tito out. First of all, he goes, better, bigger, and better.

Wow. Peace, Tito out. Look, whoosh, mic drop. It's in front of the face. I love Tito. I don't want to be up to it he's the man but it's just hilarious there's that clip

going around where he goes I definitely want to outlive my children yeah yeah yeah I saw that I didn't say anything I was like okay

well it's definitely like but definitely at least he like he hit his head and then it didn't even phase him yeah well I would do that

and I would be like down down you know what I'm saying down you know dude you ever buy mistaken that's what i'm saying they hurt oh you're gonna bust your lip yeah that's what i said those mics are hard yeah all metal so this guy so then what happened what ended up happening though like what are the consequences of that well i mean i don't think it's quite this but like you can't falsify evidence so that's a crime so but i don't know if there was like a court there's a guy at sc there's a professor at sc where it came out some ai thing

said he said all this like anti-semitism shit yeah but he was fired but then they brought him back they had to pay him because he got fired like right away they're like we don't stand for this fired him but then i know that they're like paying a ton of money well yeah i mean it's like i mean this is like you know you know, you can't. You can't. Charged using artificial intelligence. Damn. Yeah, good.

Director was arrested and charged for using AI to impersonate. Yeah, I mean, that's fucked up. Oh, well, that needs to be like a big, that should be a national story. Right, right, right. People need to know there's consequences. So people get scared, yeah. You know, people need to know there's consequences because that's pretty that's pretty sucky man that's pretty sucky i mean i i what i'm saying is it's already sucky what people say about

you and then without consequences anyway i think but then but but then you add this next layer it's like what are we talking because now they can say the thing they want to say. As you. As you. Yeah. I think full stop, it should just be illegal to use. If you're going to impersonate someone's voice, you got to do it with your own voice. I don't think you should be able to do it AI-wise, like with AI.

I just think, just make it illegal. Yeah. Just make it illegal. That's tough, man. They got to figure it out, though. They do. They got to figure it out. It's going to be rough for a little bit.

See, right there, that last line, I agree with this. He noted that state lawmakers must update legislation to include the new technology. Right. Now, imagine if you're in prison. Like, what are you in for? I impersonated Eric Griffin, said some racist shit. Oh, you're sucking cock. Yeah.

I'm going to do it as Eric Griffin, though. There's going to be who? Yeah. I'm going to do it as Eric Griffin, though. There's going to be who? Yeah. I told you guys that time I was in Vegas, and this guy walked up to me, and he was like, are you an Eric Griffin impersonator? Oh, that's funny. Yeah, you told me that.

I did, and I remember I said to the guy, I was like, okay, first of all, you could probably get Eric Griffin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know what I mean? I'm like, what are they paying? Because you can get me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny.

You know, but the thought that I was like, it's almost very flattering to think that you think that I'm famous enough that they got to get an impersonator because they can't get me. Dude, I love it when people are, I just love it when people are just like, what are you doing here?

Yeah. And you're like, what? I drink coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just being a person. Do you ever get, I was at, I was getting some tools the other day

and the guy goes, he keeps looking at my, and you can tell when someone recognizes you, he keeps looking. I was like, oh, here we go. guy goes, he keeps looking and you can tell when someone recognizes you, he keeps looking and I was like, here we go where do I know you from? and I was like, I don't know dude, I don't know what you're into I don't know you, I have no clue he goes, god, where would I know you from?

I'm like, I don't know dude I literally, I don't know where do I know you from? do we have to do this dance? I just say, I'm a comedian. Maybe you see me. I don't know. Or I say, do I owe you money? Ha, ha, ha.

Okay, just shut the fuck up. Give me the time. Thank you. Chipotle. I don't even do that because I've gotten burned by that. Well, no. Yeah, you do. But yeah, you could be like, well, that's it.

The worst one is, no, what have I seen you in? And the one time you're like, all right, I was in this. And they're like, no, I haven't seen it. You're like, all right, well,'m all right that's what i'm saying yeah i'm not getting my imb my stock answer is like they go you look familiar and i go i get that a lot and i just that's the end of it oh that's nice either they know or they don't start using that just say that or they know those faces i'm mark mcguire yeah i got one of those faces i mean i'm aaron one time it's a while ago this fucking dime piece is like – she was like, hey, I know you.

I'm looking to suck recognizable cock. Then I'm going to give my resume. Well, you might have seen me. The thing is like I know already. So I'm not going to be like, well, you know, workaholics. I'm not like that. I'm just like, I don't know. Then she goes, it's that restaurant in Santa Monica.

We go to that thing. That's so funny. And I was like, oh, yeah, I do like that place.'m just like, I don't know. Then she goes, it's that restaurant in Santa Monica. We go to that thing. That's so funny. And I was like, oh, yeah, I do like that place. And then that's it. Because that's, especially in LA, everybody thinks they're more important than anybody else. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, I'm not even going to like, you know. I think also sometimes the default, like, they know who you are, but they don't want to seem like over excited.

So like, where do I know you from? You can tell they know, you are, but they don't want to seem, like, overexcited. So, like, where do I know you from? You can tell they know, you know? I just, I'm telling you, man, it's like I like the, like, the workaholic level of fame is perfect. It's one out of 50. So I don't have to worry about, like, a lot of stuff. And it depends on where I am. At the height of it, if I was in Vegas, it would be dumb.

You know, I can't even gamble without somebody being like, oh, my's do the voice yeah let's come on let's gamble together that kind of thing but most of the time it's just kind of like it's just kind of like whatever you know and i think what i like about it now is that it's like all those people are now of age they're you know they're they're in their late 30s they're mature mature. They're mature now. Now they're coming to comedy shows. They're like, oh, man. I mean, that's what it is about building a fan base. My favorite time seeing this is like I did some shows with Dane Cook one time. We went.

He took Texas. You're right. And he has this meet and greet. And I love seeing the people that come to his meet and greet. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? At this point, they're older, yeah. Yeah, it's literally like – It's like Pauly Shore.

It's these freaking fat girls with their husbands, and they're coming in and they're like, oh, my God. Man, you're my favorite. And I just go, that's pretty cool. That's dope. You know what I mean? They stay with you, yeah. They stay with you like that.

So it's like it's a cool thing. Because I even have people coming up to me now being like, man, I love this show, Workaholics. I just started watching it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's such a great, that's a great thing right there. Because they keep it going. But we're going to make this movie. I don't know what's going to happen.

Parent Mom Plus won't give up the rights to bastards. Yeah, it'll be about three three chicks and uh you know three trans girls yeah exactly yeah man oh we got one might as well just do one to make it seem like it's still the same show what's up fellas got a debate club for you guys would you rather shovel snow in 10 degree weather or mow grass in 100 degree weather mow grass um i've done both grew up in illinoised snow for 26 years And now I live down here in Florida Where we mow where it's 100 degrees

I personally would rather be mowing In the sun At least get a tan Snow is for the birds I know but I would So this guy is fighting his looks You know He probably got teased because of his eyes,

and now he's actively trying to be ugly. What are you talking about? He's pretty handsome. He's got handsome and a great beard. He's a good-looking dude under all that nonsense. I have a friend like this. I have a buddy of mine. He looks like a boy band, right?

But he lives in upstate New York. It's like Billie Eilish wearing sweaters land so he like he goes out of his way to like have a big stupid dad i'm like matt rife with his little mustache now he's like what are you doing he's got to put milk on that let the cat lick that off that's not he thinks he looks like a hell's angel some people some people fight it so this guy's like a good looking dude though yeah i'd mow lawns no i i hate the heat no no no no no no thank you no thank you 117 degrees you want to know you're from la you want to mow you want to mow grass in phoenix yes rather than be rather than be cold yes no but here's the thing here's the thing you but you can put shit on you're not the question isn't where would you want to be shirtless?

In Phoenix or in Alaska? No, it's- Would you rather be hot or cold? I'd rather be- Hot all day. I'd rather be cold and adjust my temperature with clothes. Nah. Nah.

It always creeps in. In the heat, you can do nothing. No. At least you're sweating. You're losing weight. You're fucking being- Getting a tan. Yeah, getting a tan nothing. At least you're sweating. You're losing weight. You're fucking being... Getting a tan. Yeah, getting a tan.

Sweating. Yeah, totally. Have Eric or Chris ever shoveled? Yeah, yeah. No, no. This is what I'm about to say. That's the part that makes it different. What?

Oh, you're from fucking Wisconsin. Mowing a lawn is just pulling a thing. That's nothing. Oh, doing the actual work. It's the shoveling that makes it bullshit. Like a heavy snow, wet snow, and you're out there for two hours. He's talking about, that shouldn't be the two choices.

Being out, you're saying? That shouldn't be the two choices. Hot all day. All day. I put some music on. I went to work as a kid. I had my own lawn mowing business. Had George Jetson on the card. You had a lawn mowing business? Yep, whenetson on the card. Huh. You had a lawn mowing business?

Yep. When I was 13. You are Mexican. Basically. You probably got like, you probably got shafted too. All the neighbors knew about it. Oh,

I'm going to be in St. Petersburg here. Irvine, Chattanooga, Charleston, West Virginia. And I got a bunch of, in New Zealand and Australia. Go check it out.

ChrisLeo.com. Can you just yawn? Yeah, I know. That doesn't out, chrislea.com. Can you just yawn? Yeah, I know. That doesn't make me want to buy tickets. I yawn when I yawn. Okay. Love you guys. Stream your favorite drama movies and TV shows on Pluto TV.

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