The Golden Hour - Mexican Muscle Church

Episode Date: April 8, 2022

FULL EPISODE: https://patreon.com/KATSPlusSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Oh, you ever met this guy? Oh, I'm the dumb one. You can't argue. There's something about me. You have no idea what you're saying. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. What's up, Brendan, Theo, Chris? Hey, so I got a debate club, man. What was's favorite game at recess or like gym you know at recess my favorite game was uh tetherball you know with the pole you know to hit it around and shit so let me know what y'all's favorite game was man gang gang buzz buzz sore nice oh he did the hand motion um okay so what's this guy saying oh best game at recess i'll take it fellas it's either crazy kick, which you two don't know shit about. Crazy kickball. You can kick it.

You can run to first or third. And then you can join hands and hold each other until you get to second or first base. That game sucks. Come out of the closet. There's that. And you're not a bottom? Yeah. You don't know about him.

Come on. All right, bro. It's weird to be like, if I was gay, though, I would be the top. I don't know. I'm not gay. All right, bro. It's weird to be like, if I was gay, though, I would be the top. I don't know. I'm not gay. I might like to take it. Who knows? If I was gay, I might be walking backwards, being like, let's go, guys.

Who knows? I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it either. The bottom? No, not my thing. See, you know what you guys are? I'm not doing any of it. No, I don't want any part of it.

I understand you're not doing it. Hypothetically, if I had to do it, daddy's top all day. But that's because you're thinking that as a straight male. As a gay male, you don't know. You might fucking walk backwards, bro. I know, dude. I know. You might moonwalk down Melrose to get it.

Hey, guys, get in this ass. You don't know. To get that ham slammed, boy. The other game I used to play, and hopefully you guys know this game. Red Rover, Red Rover. And they'd go, Red Rover, Red Rover, send Brendan right over. And dude, I would sprint like a wedge buster

on a fucking football field and plow through those kids holding their stupid hands. Yeah. But it was always the way, like, what kid took that game seriously? Red Rover, Red Rover. See, that's your problem. No, no, no. That's your problem. That's your problem, Brendan. No, no, that's your problem.

You're fucking six. Thank you. I don't take any game seriously. Dude, I didn't like to do it. I tried to take it seriously a little bit, and then I was like, you know what, bro? This is not for me. Yeah. But your boy's got the gift of gab.

I'd roll up into the library and watch these freaking kids play the games and be like, uh. Oh, you know what? This poor guy made a mistake. He thought you guys were cool. No, we are cool, dude. Oh, no, he made a mistake. You guys were the nerds. No, I wasn't the nerds.

You were the weird kid staring at the wall. I just said I had to get the gap, dude. While your boy played Red Rover, Red Rover. We did kites at our school, and we had a kite thing after you could get a kite out. Racist. Racist. It was a racial tone. Jews?

Yeah. Oh. Oh, tight? Tikes? Kite. Oh, oh, oh. Tikes. Kite. Oh, oh, oh. We did kites. And what else did we do?

Oh, they had a map. You could go on the different cities and countries. Nobody played Smear the Queer, Red Rover, Red Rover, Crazy Kickball, Tag. Don't think you can say that first one anymore. Yeah, they changed it. It's also known as rugby. Oh. Yeah.

I don't know the rules of any of those games because you grew up rich no he never played a game this guy hasn't had a lot of j-o-y okay okay well i will say this we did have uh tetherball and we had always won football and basketball all right dude you are an alien dressed up as a human right now just saying the games that they told you about when they told you to take over the world and these are the fucking yeah those were the most popular games we had baseball we had baseball and hockey if we are in if you went to school in Canada. What else? When it rained, everybody would get out in the ditch and pick onions.

Pick those ditch onions out of the ground. Bring it up. There were onions in the ditch? Do something, since I have no idea why we're paying you. Hey, when it would rain, I would put my mouth in the gutter and drink it. Oh, that explains a lot. I hate that joke. That explains a lot.

Yeah, that had dung in it, man. You know what happened? A lot of that water had dung in it. I was the guy peeing in that up top. Yeah hate that joke. That had dung in it, man. You know what happened? I was the guy peeing in that up top. I'll drink that piss. You're a bottom! You're a receptacle. I'm a risk taker. And that's a bottom. No.

You know what's going on here? He has a terrible childhood, huh? No, you're playing Hiv Roulette down there, bottom dog. Oh, because I'm drinking out of the gutter? Nobody played or drank gutter or ate ants? No, no way. Dude, I would- I barely ate my food together.

I'd separate it. Yeah. You're a great, you're a good guy. Thanks, man. But it is, you shouldn't have been doing that. Yeah. Dude, I used to have my friends come around. I'd eat a red ant or a black ant.

And I'd say the black ones look like chocolate and the red ones taste like cinnamon. Okay. That's a lie. I swear on my life. It is a lie. Yeah, but they didn't taste like that, right? Oh, no. It's a complete lie.

Okay. So you'd lie. I want them to try this. But you're still eating the ants. Can we start? Yeah. Gotcha. Got you.

Yeah. You're an idiot. Yeah. I'm sorry. Can we start? Yeah. Dude, they're fucking, gotcha. Got you. Yeah, you're an idiot. Yeah. I'm sorry nobody had cool childhoods. No, I'm sorry you didn't have grass stains on your jeans. That guy says cool childhoods, drinking piss out of a gutter and eating ants. Nobody's pissing in the water, dude. I was up top pissing. It's Mother Nature's piss.

We had ditch onions. That doesn't make sense. Dude, bring up a ditch onion, you goon. Hey, we did. It doesn't matter if you did. It's not a Dutch onion. It up a ditch onion you goon it doesn't matter it's a Dutch onion it's not a Dutch onion it's a ditch onion scoot over to the right

please the Dutch onion instills the fact that the story is real makes it worse don't be like see no it makes me sad you were in the rain looking for fucking onions sad it's

free vegetables man we were doing good they're not even the good you can't even break them off and eat them and i'm the gay one for drinking six year old's breath horrible as shit go back to the original picture why are you overdoing it when you don't do anything. Bro, I know what I like, and one of the things I veer away from is digging for ditch onions when it's raining. It's not one of those things I have to experience to know I don't like. Because you don't have a heart and you got no culture, okay?

That's not true. You've never been out there in the rain with your buddies and copped a couple of fucking free veggies on me? Nah, bro. When it's raining, I'm like, let's go inside. You know what got a couple of juicy earthworms? Oh, you eat them? As a joke?

No, I wouldn't eat a fucking guy. Dude just wandering around the yard with his mouth open over here. Oh, look what I got now. Yeah. What about a bottom? Nobody had a slip and slide? Look, dude, some gay guy sees you eating two ants, dude. You're a bottom, son. Dude, some guy sees you deep two ants dude you're a bottom son

dude some guy sees you deep throating a fucking onion that looks like nuts out of the gutter we brought them home to our moms my ass dude yeah they go like this ah thanks oh it was raining again huh weirdo they were good

stop spreading your fucking nose out so you can breathe I can't get any hair in dude wear a brief right. Get in here. Let's go. King and the sting and the wing. Brought it full circle and put on the whole team. Legendary trio, Rennie, Chris, and Theo.

What you mean? You know it's the king and the sting and the wing.