The Golden Hour - Minority Report Report | The Golden Hour #153 w/Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

 The guys talk Erik's frustration with over the top friendly service workers, Chris shares his disgust for vape shops whilst getting a real time fraud alert from his credit card company, Brendan's disdain for the movie, Minority Report, AI chat bots, Chris' infatuation with his macros, comedians going to Saudi Arabia for money, good people vs bad people and much more! Get this episode AD FREE + 2 PATREON ONLY episodes/month only at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastHims - To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit http://hims.com/golden . That’s Hims dot com slash GOLDEN for your free online visit.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nothing can stop us. Ooh, yeah. It's like a show you used to love. Just rebranded enough. It's stronger, better, bigger power, because it is a golden hour. So I went to Starbucks drive-thru. I don't know if you've gone through the Starbucks drive-thru recently.

But this is this new, and I thought it was just this one particular one by my place. But I went to another one and they did the same thing. Okay. They go, hi, my name is Angela. Yeah. What's your name? So I'm already like, what are we doing? Nah, that's terrible.

You just go right into the order. Venti ice coffee. Yes, exactly when I go, okay. So I do it. Did you fart? No. I don't know why it annoys me, but okay. And then I get to, I get it.

You're not sure. So then I get the coffee. Okay, and I'm like, okay, thank you. Then I look on it. And in a Sharpie on the top, it says, you got this. Oh, no. As if I need another reason to dislike Starbucks more. And I was just like, all right, I wonder if it's like, my question is.

So wait, this happened to you twice? This happened today. But every time I go there, I've never seen the writing on it. But every time I go there, they go, they go, like, hi, my name is Julie. What's your name? And you just, I don't know why. Is it me? Because I don't know why it annoys me.

I don't need to know you. Get me my coffee. It just. You're behind. I'm going to. I don't even see you. I'm in a rush, bitch. I don't, I have friends.

What's going on here? It's so, it's, I don't know. It's almost like they had some meeting and they were like, all right, we need to be more friendly to work. Well, I'm sure they do have that.

I know, but that you got this today, I was just like, you know, I got it and I just want like to, want it. And I just drove off. Or you get,

you get it says hang in there. Yeah, man. What the fuck? Yeah, man. It's like, do they know? What if you got one and it said, kill yourself.

That would be more. See, I would appreciate that more if it was like, you think it's rough right now just wait to next week something but i just run over randoms but i guess there are people that that would be like a good pick me up you know like you see it you'd be like like a white woman like nobody but a white anyone black anyone indian what the fuck they don't care yeah but but but but notice they're doing around the pumpkin latte season yeah that's when all those karen's come out who need all this encouragement hey don't talk shit about pumpkin

latte like like do you think your wife would like that of course No, Rachel's, no, no, no. No, would yours? I think mine... Mine would just, like, whatever. I think mine would be like, that's cute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, they could be mean.

It'd be better if they're mean. Wait till we get distracted, you know. Right, right, right. She's trying to figure out this convoluted order that she wants to get. Right, right, right. And then she's like, you know, being distracted by, hi, my name's Angela. Right, right, right. It's like, okay.

I think it'd be better if they use, like, troll shit from, like, Red, it and how mean people are yeah yeah yeah if if you just get him like what the fuck like yeah yeah yeah all right well thank you yeah yeah oh that sucks what it cut out yeah a little bit it's okay we got the jist okay um yeah yeah you got it i was at the uh um what do you call it uh that you know a juice place you go to yeah that we i guess we go to now uh eric and i go to this place that's close here to this is like a you know juice it's a creation or one of those places Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They got like smoothies and shit like that.

And he knew one of the cops outside of the places. Oh, well, you're not telling the whole story. Yeah, yeah, but it's not a, the story isn't about that, but you can tell that story now. No, no, no, no, I'm saying. So there's a juice place and then there's a weed place. Right. You can tell the story about the cops. Oh, there's a weed place, right?

And every time. Oh, so they have security. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. They got, I never actually see a security guard there, right? But I tell you what I do see every, because every week I go there to get a burrito at the Mexican place next door. there's cops there like let's say three or four times a month right so then I's one of the cops so now it's like a lot of them you know they're they're obviously doing a raid or something

and one of the guys walks up to me and he's like he go I can tell he knows me right and I say I know you and he says it's me it's umberto we went to high school together that's crazy and he's like yeah I work for DCC now you know you know I was like oh what it's like the drug what is it Department of Cannabis control. They have a whole thing. And he tells, he's like, yeah, we come here. Yeah, we've come here like 10 times now. These people won't do this stuff right.

We always end up leaving so high. Yeah. I just was like, I don't know. Do you have a cops for, go finish your story? So, so you're out there a lot and, you know, I'm there too. But so people, you know, obviously like the cop recognize them and all this shit. So I go back to the juice place. I think I was there yesterday because I was here for a lifeline.

Oh, sweet. And I'm at that place and I'm getting, whatever I'm getting. And the guy says, so, that guy that you're with, he's a comedian. Ooh. I know that. That looks like that. No, no, no. And I'm like, and I'm like, oh, yeah.

And he says, I had no idea. And I was like, oh, yeah. And now I'm thinking, is he saying this to me because he doesn't, he knows I'm a comedian and doesn't know I'm a comedian. You know what I don't think he does. He's not in that world. He can't know. He doesn't. So I realized with the conversation, like, oh, he's talking to me.

He has no idea who I am. And he just figured out who Eric is. And he was like, and then. And then so he's like, he's like, that's so cool. Wow. Wow. And I'm like holding a protein. bar and I'm like yeah it's cool man he's he's great dude and then the and then the uh a girl

comes up and she was like yeah that's cool like he they obviously had a conversation about it and he was like that's so cool and and she was like small world there's comedian outside i was like yeah dude and i'm like an apple pin trying to be mad about it you no but it was it was so uh it was just funny it's i i i uh and i'm just like they're gonna really kick themselves when they realized who I knew it was about that everybody I knew that was coming no juice places are a weird vibe though they really are a weird juice places in this neighborhood no dude in this neighborhood I'm surprised they exist in this neighborhood yeah yeah this is you know what wild that that place is where it is well it's an end and wild it still exists oh

it's I mean a barber shop closed down yeah that's crazy and also remember the coffee shop It looks like they're trying to gentrify it And it looked like And not like this neighborhood is bad But like they It's not It's not like Sherman Oaks It's not like what people think of

It's not Calabasas baby I'll tell you that Of course not You're far crying from that There's no air one over here But The The um

It's just the The coffee place that's supposed to open They said they were going to open In August Looks like it'll be a great coffee place Right And I emailed them in fucking June When are you going to open

And they said August And it's fucking October And it's not open I know. I'm going to email them again. Yeah, we can email them. I'm going to email them. I'm going to email them.

You said August, man. You know, by the way, do you know who I am or are you like the juice guy? No, there's a pet store, pet place. Then the coffee place that's not open. A barbershop that just closed down. A vape shop. Yes. Next to a juice place.

Next to a weed place next to a really good Mexican burrito place. The client tells a little strange. Well, look, the vape, the vape, the vape. I got a I don't know if there's a hot take or not Vap shops they got to go dude They got a why why why Because they they they look so abhorrent They look so ugly with the neon lights

They're in the eyesore It's like at least do At least make it look different bro It's they're they're they look Remember when they were all over the city in New York Bro and and and it was terrible They still are Here's the funny

Well, not as much. Here's the funny part, Brendan. So all the cops are sitting there in front of the weed place. It's like a lot of them. And then, like, people were still trying to go to the weed shop. But once they saw all the cops, everybody went to the juice place. And they got my buddy. My buddy's telling me because he's like, yeah, look at this chick.

She's, uh, he's talking to me. He's like, yeah, this chick. We've already caught her a couple times. She's trying to, she's going to pretend like she's not going to the weed shop. And she just walked right into the juice place. Just like, uh-oh. oh wow that's funny spent $18 on carrot juice that she didn't have yeah yeah so I just I don't know I mean they decriminalized weed so it's like it sucks that you just can't have a business

without the people harassing you I guess is it the people that so it's the people that think they can just go in and get weed without a card or like what is I don't know no I think it's about the how the places are running it because you know it's like making sure they got the right paperwork and they're you know they're filing the cash properly you know but that because now that they have to pay taxes on it it's a it's a lot of red tape and then also a lot of banks still don't take their money so the cartel still involved like I had a buddy who was running business in Woodland Hills and he had to have like straight up guns all the yeah yeah yeah and that's security to take the to take the weed to this location like it's still fucking the wild and that's

Woodland Hills. Well, it was really even worse before because the banks wouldn't allow, like they couldn't, they couldn't. They still don't, Eric. Most of them don't. They still don't. Oh, I thought that, well, no. There's a few like branches that are open to it, but like the big boy banks won't touch it. Brinks? No, no, no, no, because like, you know, you, you know, banks. It was like, because it was federally still a crime. So at any time, the federal government could just be like, all right, we're. Seize your shit. But they changed. that that's you know that's something but i think it's still a little weird like you know you can't just have a bank america business account no yeah it's still a problem whatever your thing is so they have

tons of cash so they keep getting robbed they get robbed all the time uh what you're talking about it's really weird to be uh realize that when you're in a conversation that is something that you realize in your whole life you're never going to really know about yeah i'm not going to know about what i don't know anything about that. I will never know anything about that. I will never look into it. I will just die without knowing anything about how banks handle weed. Isn't that?

It's crazy. Is that what makes me dumb or is that just like a... No, that makes you just like the hot chick in the room. You're the hot chick. We don't expect you to know those details. But you got nice tits. So we put up with it. Thank you, dude.

I really appreciate that, honestly. I think I've just found out that there's fraud on my credit card Oh no Oh maybe Who's fault? Mine Or your wife charged something

No it's mine Well that's what I'm asking Oh you lost your wallet Yeah yeah yeah That's why yeah And people are just dumb Yeah Yeah maybe they just

Maybe someone But I thought I lost it in my house So I'm not Do you have Amex though Chris? Yeah No No I don't No they're great with pride

No, I know that my guys are good with it, but it's just, yeah, every credit card. You just go, it's just not like it. No, because I'm, no, it is, you know why? You know why? You're too stressed out about it. What do you mean?

You just put too much time to, you know, you're consumed with it. Oh, yeah. Like I see fraud, I do this. I go, ah, they got it. Back to the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. And you're like this. No, no, no, no.

And you keep talking about it, right? So that's the difference between an Amex owner and then whatever bullshit you got. And this is full. circle with the money and the weed. Wait, but hold on. I don't know if it's fraud or not, though. I have to find, I have to... Yeah, you're too concerned about it.

Yeah, whatever. I go like this. I don't think I understand this. Somebody get me a little violin for Chris. But I'm not sad. What am I going to do? Guys, I'm not sad. I just...

Hey, hey. Are you okay? No, you keep chatting. This is like when you're young and they're like, you're going to cry. And you're like, fuck now I'm going to cry. Yeah, now why are you going to cry? Oh, fuck, guys, it's just, I just don't know if this, who went to FedEx? It's, and charged $738 for, for what?

Chris DeLeo's credit card. I mean, I know my wife spends money, but what is this for? It sounds like the start of a Tupac song. It should be fine. And then Chris went to FedEx. It's fine. It should be okay. Motherfuck is in the FedEx.

Yeah, exactly. Don't it sound like that? I can like, they don't know. What's up, everybody? I don't know if you know this, but according to the National Institute of Health, as many as 30 million men in the U.S. experience ED. Chris and Brendan. It's more common than a bad night's sleep.

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they had the backpack on your freaking uh gate frauded nine times a month yeah that's why it's not stressful for you because he's those frauds are at it again. Brennan just throws his wallet out the window once a month. Remember? Look, he don't even remember this shit. You don't even remember this shit. No, because I got Amex, baby. I got Amex. They got it. Dude, someone's in your house right now. You don't even know. They're just chilling. Yeah. You're in your house. Branden goes, I haven't lost my wallet in a while. He just throws it out the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got Amex. They got it. He's got his ATM pin on the thing too. What the fuck? My wallet's here.

He just throws it. He's like, Pidge 4-7-4-5! No, I was in Newport for work, and I used my credit card for something. Someone got a hold of the information, and then they tried to order a new iPad at the Apple store

under like a weird name. They had all my information. Dude, Amex was like, we'll just wait for them to pick it up. I think I get the gist. We got it. They got them. They got them.

Every credit card company. arrest them though yeah i want those people to be arrested i know there was a there was i told you that there was wait what happened i don't remember what happened with my but somebody stole one of my credit cards once and then went to um yeah magic mountain or no knots barry farm yeah yeah great the family that's great the whole their whole family went and and and and and they got pictures of who did it and it was just like this it was like this it looked nice so i was like oh let them have fun dude eight fucking eight little Mexican kids and shit. Spent like $900 at Best Buy.

Then it's like, fuck that guy. Well, it was expensive. Yeah. But sometimes you got to talk it up to the game. Sometimes like when I got hustled on those tricycles. You charge you to the tricycles and he sent me pictures. I went, you've earned it. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, yeah, if you if you're, because here's the thing. That's on me. I don't like, I don't like when when you, there's a lot of these documentaries that come out on like Netflix and Hulu that's like and I was a victim and he they stole money from me and it's like yes and that's wrong and you're a fucking idiot you were on the phone like there it is are you sure oh yeah okay cool I will it will be great here's 200,000 dude at some point make the documentary about the guy that did it and it was like got them make the documentary where the guy is

Well, they did. Tender Swindler was about that. No, I know, but he wasn't, but he was, I'm saying, make the documentary about the guy and glow up his life about like, look at how fucking cool and savvy he was that he was able to fucking get this money out of these bitches. You know what I mean? And it's, and it's like, I think there's an update on him to. But it's like, yeah, dude, I was able to get $250,000 off this. All I did was call her and tell her I was a fucking investment company and she just sent it over. And it's like, okay, well, then just be smarter. lady you know and i understand we got this victim mentality where it's like well i think now they are i mean it's a lot harder now i feel bad for older people and stuff old people forget it different story for old people but i mean still i mean the way they're doing it now it's like you really you know the romance scams are the it's like dude hey have you have you have you met the person has it been over look at that there's been a major new development regarding the tennis

Smith, Simon, whatever his name is, Levy or Weryl's same, Shimon Hayute. Levy was arrested in the county of Georgia at Batonam Airport, detained upon arrival under International Interpol. This is the Tinder Swindler? Yeah. Well, there's that one lady who thought she had a relationship with that dude, like Dr. McDreamy or whatever, and it was AI. Oh, yeah.

And she was like in a year-long relationship and sent him like $400,000. That is wild. Talked it up to the game. baby chock and she looks like a warlock it's like you think that dime piece in Hollywood is gonna fuck around with you dude

yeah but that chalk up to the game but the AI is like that day they have to change the laws quick they have to catch up to this because well it's never going to catch up the videos are crazy man that's a real thing that's happening

like you know this happens to Matt all the time now you know there was a new one in this past weekend man when I was with them there's a new one this lady is like calling the police because she thinks something's going on they she thinks that what she thinks like he she thinks that like the people around him or have him captured and they're beating him oh yeah

yeah that's fair that's fair called the real police though call the AI police we've got this it's just man dude it's crazy man look at it says AI chat bots are becoming romance scammers and one in three people admit they could fall for one. I want to know. Here's the thing. If it's an AI chat bot, all good, I want to know I'll still be in love with it. Just don't lie to me.

Exactly. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I was asking fucking chat GPD about my macros last night kind of falling in love. Oh my God. She was telling me meatloaf was okay if I had a little bit of it. And it's not negatively bad for me.

No, no, all it takes is while the chat is saying that to you and it says, says something like, looking good yeah yeah and I'm sure your shoulders are getting really big that's all it takes it's just a little bit of that you probably need to relax don't you what Chris I meant to send you a picture I was like put this in your fucking chat GPT tell me what macros it has I made a bowl of white rice and I cut up two fucking top sirloin steaks this shit was fire you did this yeah man and what they say no I don't know how it works I wanted to send it to you so you do it for me so okay so okay so

What is it? Oh, it's not a fraudulent charge. It was Kristen. Yes! But I have to have a talk to her. I have to actually talk to her. It was one cup of white rice and two eight ounce steak sirloins. It's Kristen.

Look at this. It's Kristen. Yay. No fraud. There we go. I got to have a chat with her. I got to have a chat with her about that's a, tell me. just use the other card

and that card it's not the right card it's all good it's all good what are you shipping for 800 bucks yeah what is she shipping I'm shipping we just deal drugs we don't go to fuck anymore

we deal drugs we deal hard shit too ever since the Apple guy came over oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah right no we deal hard hard hard drugs and ever since 2020 because it's like fuck it heroin

meth new shit that you haven't heard of what if your neighbor what if you're both of you guys what if your neighbor comes over

in one of those like the one of those movie scenarios and he brings you a briefcase and he says hold on to this don't open it

just I'll be back you know what do you do? I don't know the person I'm opening it I'm opening it right away not happening not happening

or I'll open it right away no no no no I want nothing to do with this I'm not going to open he's already gone it's because you have it So take it and leave it.

He's already gone. He's already, he's already, you open the door. He's like, boom, please, just hold on to that. I'll be back. And he just takes off. Oh, no, if I know where he lives, I go over, walk through his house, put on his front door and go back. I go, I hope it's not a nuke. You know, yeah. Yeah, but you're walking to his front door with the suitcase and, you know, a suspicious black SUV with two guys are like, you know, they look a certain way.

Can we get? Okay, listen, can we get the whole scenario And then let me respond Stop fucking adding to it, dude Jesus Christ But there's a gun to your head No, I'm not saying it's a gun to your head And they're fucking your wife in front of you

What? And Saudis are paying you That's just implied. Yeah, yeah But what if it's like the purge And there's one night of killing And your neighbor comes over He's like, hey man, you cool

If we stay with you tonight? Yeah, no, bro. Uh-uh, uh-uh, no. No. If I'm at, if the purge is which it will be in by 2020 8 hopefully by next year

yeah Chris is going to be calling a lot of people hey what are you doing tonight yeah yeah oh come on oh yeah fake address

bomb set up one of those like I just want to make amends for everything that is going on would you let your neighbor come over though

we're stronger we're stronger together I love this so much. Fucking, where's Chris? He's not here? No, he's FaceTime and us. No, that it's just a TV comes on. You know, it's like, hey guys.

Remember all that shit you were saying? Party time. For party time, press the red button. Oh. Go ahead, buddy? Whitney, no! So stupid. You're so stupid.

I got shot of the world shot of the fucking globe it's just a little small area me on a plane no you'd still be like this wait a minute there's a charge fucking Kristen used the runker uh

you what happened like Mike what a hassle when you have a card that you have everything on you know you have one of those cards that you like pay a lot of bills with yeah you like all your subscriptions yeah yeah that's the card did you know she bought something oh yeah that I was like what is this yeah it's fraud and then after I've canceled it you know how many fucking times I've asked Kristen they're asking me about this uh is it fraud and she goes I don't know and then a day later she's like I know what it was I'm like dude you don't even know what you're doing yeah yeah that's I know what it was you know that big plant

fucking outside oh yeah yeah that was $600 for what the fucking pot does she do this though because Rachel will order seven because she wants to send back five oh yeah yeah

you know what but they don't get sent back no no actually no she loves to send she back women are weird yeah she loves it yesterday they act like they're a business dude dude oh my god she was like she had the UPS center in the house where she's just like

I got to send these bras back because I didn't like and I was like why did you order so many of them I'm swamped today I got to get out these deliveries to who the company that I fucking bought these from I got to send them back two of them don't fit

here's this one dude dude she had like a pair we are killing it eric she had a pair of shoes on and then I saw the shoes there were some weird shoes and then I look on the kitchen table and I see the same shoes

different size but dude I was like why are your shoes on the table she's like oh those those aren't the same shoes I have those I had to send those back I'm just like it's a revolving door of sending shit back but all I see on the credit card is just, you know, $900, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's $700 back, $800, you know. Have you seen, do your, does your wife, so you talk about shoes on the furniture, would you, do you put shoes on the furniture? No. No, I don't either. Do you? If I'm tired or enough, I'll take my feet up, then my wife will wake me up and like, get your shoes off the couch.

I'm like, oh, but the dog's cool, he's just out fucking side. Right, I understand, but, but I guess what I'm asking is, putting your feet up is different than putting your shoes on the furniture like will you put the bottom of your souls on your couch and not even think about it oh I don't even I take my shoes off so do I but Kristen will

Oh you guys are Asian you're Asian You're Asian only Asian people do No no no Kristen will like walk in airport urinals With the same shoes That she'll just be like on the couch fully and I'm just like yeah i don't have a problem with it no but i'm like that you're you're saying that's disgusting yeah yeah yeah so i'm like babe i don't

give a fuck no so brend is disgusting brendt and my wife disgusting so so these so everyone in here is like that's disgusting but yeah and i don't even think about i don't even think about it in the disgusting way i just i actually it's just something i don't do i'll just take my shoes off if i'm going to do it because there's there's a hundred percent there's a hundred percent piss all over your shoes at all times. In no world do we live in. Who cares?

Who gives a fuck? But Brendan, if you don't give a fuck, that's fine. But that's not where my wife lives. My wife goes, no, there's not. Oh, oh. And I go, oh, okay. That's different. Yeah.

That's different. No, at least understand. If she's like, who cares? There's piss on my shoes. It's fine. Get it all over the couch. It doesn't matter. That's fine.

But that's not what she's doing. she's going you're crazy and I'm like do you ever walk around yeah in places fucking dude

it's like she went to Saudi Arabia and fucking got the check for comedy and is still against places to ban free speech yeah

you're not live incorrect yeah be the yeah so that's that's what if they did offer her to go no here's a better question for both you if both you got offered would you

would you have guys of went to Saudi Arabia would I have gone to Saudi Arabia if I got if we got big paychecks yeah for the yeah 500 grand my I told this to Eric the other day I told this to Eric the other day I said I've been through so much that I don't believe anyone

first of all there's a difference between being an outspoken comic about all the issues and all of the what do you call it the being an advocate and ally and all that shit and then taking money to go do that shit then there is with if Nate Braggazzi went out there which he didn't but like dude the guy's not political at all he's just like fucking talking about how his dog got out of his house you know what you know those people have families too like all that stuff that that's different so but so it's like so it's like it's like But he's been going for years.

No, but what I'm saying, if you're, if you're like, like, there's priorities. So my priority in my life is to make sure that only my family is good. Fuck. Yep. Noise. Everything else. Fuck comedians. Fuck issues.

My issue is to make sure my family is nice. Oh, yeah. So I don't give a fuck about your politics. Everyone's treated me like trash. Fuck you. I don't care as long as my family's good. So, yeah, I would. But if I'm out there saying, hey, the Me Too movement,

hey, black lives matter, hey, this is all important shit. You know, we need free speech. And then you take the bag, you're a fucking asshole. It's different. Agreed. Also, me going down there, it's not going to change anything. No, I know. That's a separate issue.

It's a comedy show. It's not going to change anything. But to your point, if you're rallying like the whole Me Too movement and women rights matters and then you take the bag, oh, well, you don't. stand for shit. Yeah, no, it's just you're now I, now I can't believe anything. No, you're a sell out. Your definition of a sellout. It's like you were in the, it's like, dude, you were only do, you're only do shit for money. Don't act like you are someone who is moral. Don't, don't do that. Well, that's all performing. Well, it is to your point. To your point, Chris, though, it's like,

you're only doing things A for traction and followers and to get views or for money. You don't stand for anything. Yeah. Like you'll you'll go with whatever thing is going to get you eyeballs or money.

Like you don't stand for anything. Yeah. No, I understand. I get it. But so my thing is like don't, you know,

it's like if you're, whether you're going to Saudi Arabia for money or you're pretending you are an ally to save your money,

it's the same fucking thing. Agreed. You know, so fuck you. This is similar to why I don't go to funerals for people I don't really know. Yeah. You know, is that kind of thing. To me, it's on the same vibe level of like, you know, you know, when people, you know, someone and everybody's like, oh, my God, this person was like, I don't know that motherfucker and I'm not going to pretend at some.

Like, dude, if I'm a memorial that I don't know this person. Also, I'm dead. I don't care if you don't come. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? It's like, dude. Funerals are weird to me. Leave me where I am. But this is like, I always just say, you know, you know, because look, when you're in that position that you've been in, it's like hard to not take everything personal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for a while. And I get that. Yeah. But my position is, you know, always, and this isn't what I'm, this doesn't, I'm not excusing it at all, but I'm just saying people make business decisions. And I wish people would just be honest about that. Just be honest about that. Yeah, yeah. You know, just be like, because I think that.

And not to say that it's right, but I think if people would have came to you and been like, yo man, I got to distance myself because of boom, boom, I think if they would have done it like that, it'd be different. It would have been way different. And you would understand because of like, you know what I mean? But that still hurts too. Yes and no. Yes and no.

I think that would have been better. I think that would have been better than just like, you know, publicly bashing or or acting funky. I mean, because that's what. Just be, just if you're a friend, be a friend. That's it. Just be loyal. You know, these people, even the people that.

Like when people, you see all this stuff happening in Hollywood, somebody goes through something, whether it's fucking accusations or whatever. And then everyone's all the, well, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, you do. You know what they did. You know what they didn't do. Fuck you.

Dude, don't be a fucking bitch about it. Don't be like, well, I wasn't in those rooms. Shut the fuck up, dude. You know what kind of person your friend is. You're lying. You're lying. Agree. But also, Chris, I think to the point, too, to help you out, like you realize that they

ain't shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, you thought you had a lot of friends. You did not. have a lot of friends. Yeah, no, I know.

Those people are not your friends. No, I know, I know. And that's why comedians to me are. And it makes you more cold-hearted. So when I take the money, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

I mean, I, I understand. And I just don't, you know, it's just, I, entertainment, if you're an entertainer,

be an entertainer. If you want to be an activist, be an activist. But don't be an activist, under the guise of you know you're making money of it that that's horse shit it's like dude the BLM shit right like people are like well the lead the leader of BLM was using money to buy houses okay if that's true fuck her obviously that's true right okay that's you know right

I don't say I'm just saying I knew you're going to say that right but let's like you know like like this is well documented but but but but it is though I'm just it really is that whole thing was a scam I understood by three white guys but I understand And I don't know anything about it But I'm just saying Like whatever the truth is about anything You know You know

If it's for money And you're acting like you have this moral I'm better than that Then you're the worst kind of person I mean dude I remember But I look at that list But Chris

I look at that list, I go, of course. I don't, it doesn't affect my life. I look at that list, of course they took the money. I know, but people take them more and all, besides I just, you're talking about principle right now. That's what you're talking about. Well, no, I'm talking about you're not really somebody. If like, look, you know, no, but people take them,

people take this sort of like high horse moral, high ground about certain things, and I can't stomach that sometimes. Yeah. I just, especially when it comes from comedians. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Well, yeah. No, it's just.

comedians are like the people that are like loud about this like hey i'm not going to saturday wait but all this kind of stuff if you're rich shut the fuck up yeah you know what i mean like you're like what oh yeah yeah oh the the dude that makes uh you know 500 grand a month you're saying well you know or someone who come out never got offered you know what's it's like okay yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's easy to come out because they stand for it but they didn't get offers. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah. That's all. It's just a, and this is like muddled because, yeah, because like I don't, I don't actually have any issue. I don't have any issue with it. And I think it's rich. I think we are so arrogant in the United States. You know,

I love it, you know, like I've said this before I'll say it again. What I love about United States is we deal with our tragedies and we deal with our triumphs in the same way. We make a movie you know like how arrogant is that like 9-11 is used as a plot point in shitty movies now do you know that like it's just like it'll be some shitty movie and it's spy movie and they're like they use 9-11 we use tragedies as like you know right so it's like what do we what what what like we don't even care about nothing yeah so now all of a sudden we're going to act like you know saturday where every single president goes to saudi arabia yeah and shakes the hands or bows to the whatever.

Every single president goes to Saudi Arabia. All right. So now all of a sudden the comics can't go. Does every president go to Saudi Arabia? Trump's gone? Well, they have to. But they have to. Yeah.

Well, that's a different thing. But they have to do it. I know. I know. So who cares? It's a little different. They're trying to work out deals. Yeah, it's a little different.

Oh, okay, so they're trying to work out deals. So are these comics that are going to get their money. They're trying to work out humanity. Deals with humanity and shit. They're trying to make sure the oil is still coming. Listen, listen, you can't be at your, the, I wish these people would make these videos from the pump. Like, go to Chevron and then make your videos about comics going to do comedy while you're filling your gas tank with Saudi oil. You can only do what you are capable of doing.

What I'm saying is don't be fucking fake about it. Just don't, you can be, you can be a Nate Brugatsy. You can be a Sebastian Manuscalco. can be somebody who's out there that's fucking utterly hilarious that isn't being an activist. That's true. You can be that way, be that way.

We're talking about two different things, but yes, I agree. All right, yeah. No, I totally agree. I totally agree. You know. The second you start saying, oh, I got to stand for this, and then money comes in and changes what you do,

then you're nobody to me. Then who are you? You're nobody, yeah. Well, I mean, I wish people would just be honest about like, when people talk about free speech, for instance. Just be honest, you don't really want free speech. Just say that.

You know what I mean? Just say, I only want speech that I agree with. Or just say, like, I only want, quote, unquote, the good speech. Right. If you don't believe in the concept, if the ideal of what free speech is, just admit that. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with it. I'm okay with being like, nah, you know, Roseanne Bard.

That's not the same. Right. I just, she deserved to get fired or whoever else. Just be like, that's what I feel. And I think that that's a lot of what these high horse, high moral, that's what these people, that's what they believe. They really believe that. That's why they can, like, stick up for Jimmy Kimmel, but not stick up for, you know, someone else. Because they don't really believe in the idea of free speech.

But it's important. But I understand. It is important. Oh, go ahead. I'm just saying, I understand. And I think, I'm okay with you feeling that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just be real about it.

Right, right, right. Right, right. This October, fear is free on Pluto TV, with horror movie collections from paranormal activity, The Ring. You will die in seven days. Scream. And from dusk till dawn. This is my kind of place. And don't miss the man-made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later.

There's something in the blood. All the scares. All for free. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. Dude, we were talking about this the last episode, but Girl Meet Hunter, remember that? We were talking about it.

It was the, I don't think Brennan was here, so it was on a Patreon episode, so if you want to get the Patreon, but Girl Meet Hunter. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember this guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this guy, I finished the podcast. If you want to hear part one, get the Patreon. But this guy was on this chat forum called the Dark Web something, I don't know.

and he was messaging people fantasies come to life you could talk about anything you could talk about bondage you could talk about anything killing you could be like oh yeah it's so hot but it had a disclaimer

and it was like you do not talk about this you do not actually make plans to do it this guy was making like was talking to other users like yeah I have somebody that I want to do this with

and yada yada what do you want to do oh kill and eat women okay so illegal stuff so well it depends where you live so it's bad so it's that stuff even bad thoughts

really yeah and so but this is what turned this guy on never did it but the FBI cracked down on him

he spent time in jail because yeah he should yeah okay so this is my this is my so this is my you know

I want to bring this to you guys he was put in jail for thoughts so we can't have that so it's the same thing as a terrorist says i want to blow up a building i'm not saying i'm going to i want to right right right we can't have you walk in the streets yeah we're a pedophile going i want to suck off little kids i understand you know i understand i understand so but it's like it's very like interesting because there are people that are like he i mean the guy does interviews now and he's like dude i i i i i i i i i

It's unfortunate. It's what turns me on is like thinking about eating. He literally is like eating, eating women and killing them and bondage and stuff. Yeah, you got to put him down like a dog. He doesn't contribute to society. Put him down like a dog is what Brennan said. Yes.

Okay. Well, because he's like, but he's like, I would never do that. Isn't that? He's full of shit. But we don't know.

He's full of shit. Because you, because you know this actually happened. This did happen. The guy who wanted to get consumed and the guy ate his dick. and killed him. Okay, so on our end, just so you know. Or his dick.

On our end, just so you know. He's dick and balls. He ate him. You can see the podcast fine and everything is great. But on our end, there's a little bit of a technical difficulty. And sometimes Brennan is cutting out. And the only thing that Eric and I heard was eat his dick. Yeah.

So I was like, yeah. I was like, Brendan's going in today. So I don't know what he said. But I'm very interested. And we have to have him repeat himself. Yeah. Every other way. word, Brendan, we can't hear you, but we're just playing

it off right now because we know that it's going to come through and then and we do understand. But we don't know anything you're saying. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not true. We do have the gist. The gist. We just get the gist. With the eating the dick one, we do not have the gist. Okay, so there's a real case that happens.

No, there's a, hopefully you guys get this. There's a real case. It was in Canada. Yeah. And the guy went on the form and goes, I want someone to slaughter me and eat my dick. Yes, yes, yes. So this, he found a guy who was willing to do that and the guy argued in court that will he ask for this so he actually consumed his cock and balls right i understand him so i understand now i do it sounds hilarious on our end

eat dick cock and balls Canada so uh balls caught and i did went to jail we got it go to court it's like it's like we're playing uh it's like we're playing charades with him yeah bondage sounds like two words. Bondage, mouth fucking, killing, eat dick, Winnipeg. So, no, but put them down like dogs.

Saskatoon. So, so listen. So listen, I get the gist now. Okay. The guy wants somebody to eat his dick. He's totally consensual.

Crazy. Someone says they want to do it. And there's a whole case about it. This different, though. That is different. Yes. That is different.

Yeah. That's like that whole, I don't, maybe there's got to be more to it. There's got to be more. eating the dick case? No, no, no, the case of why they send him to jail.

Well, they say, if you listen to the podcast, uh-huh. It's pretty, it's pretty wild, bro. Look, it fucking sucks that this guy has these thoughts. It's not normal. It's bad.

It's ugly. It's shitty. Okay. This guy, if you hear him talk, he's like, uh, like Dahmer?

No, it's not like Dahmer. It's like, I, I, I, I wish it never, you know, I would never do something like this. I can't control what I'm turned on by.

It's really weird. And then, and then, and then there was no evidence of him being like, yeah, meet at this place, do that. In fact, there was evidence of the opposite. There was evidence of him, like, saying, I have a van that I can transport it and he doesn't. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's, and he got arrested for that. Well, what sucks is that, so now, this is why.

people do stuff in secret you know i mean yeah sure it's like don't make a website saying hey this is okay to have these thoughts because apparently it's not it's not okay it was just wild yeah it was obviously not okay i mean there's like a there's a snitch factor going on you know what i mean yeah it's that's you know that's the sucky part well it's funny too because like people like don't you aren't you sometimes like at the bank and some guy walks in and you're like what if i had a knife and just stabbed them in the fucking neck and just went everywhere. I don't what the fuck.

Do you ever do that? No. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do for no reason.

And I go, yeah, I do. Wow, that's terrible I thought about that. What if people knew I thought about that? Well, now they do. Yeah.

Well, I don't care. I'm a comedian and I don't fucking, it doesn't matter. But like, you know, what if that guy slipped and fell and fucking goes like, and was so hurt and then I went over and just like pissed on him for no reason.

I can't help it. Whoops, thought of it. I would never do that if somebody slipped and fell You think I would fucking walk up to him pee on him? No, but I thought about it And I thought, man, that would be hilarious in a way I would never do that

Ever do that Okay, somebody knocking on the door right now Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, exactly So it's like, oh, you're talking about If this guy slipped up falling and you piss on him That's actually illegal I'd be like, yeah, but I didn't mean to You know, it's crazy

It's pretty wild it's pretty wild that a lot of people have those thoughts you have fucked up thoughts maybe not that but you have fucked up thoughts yeah we all have fucked up thoughts but i'm just wondering well yeah when you're in traffic somebody cuts you off you're just like nah mine doesn't even have anything with anger sometimes like what if i go stabbing i think about innocent people yeah once a day i have a thought this thought once a day i'll be in one of my trucks and i have to go across a big bridge i'm like man i just want to turn the wheel this way and go right off the side there you go yeah there you go. I would say

Monday through Friday, I have that thought. Yeah. There you go. That's alarming. But you know, we're going to hope for the best. You know, we hope for the best and you just have those thoughts. You are not your thoughts, right? You are not your thoughts unless you make. No, no, no. You're not your, you're not the worst of your worst thoughts. You're not the sum of your thoughts.

You know? So the, you know, like what I'm saying is like good people do bad things and bad people do good things. Yeah. Right. You know? The world is gray. Yeah. You know what I'm saying is, but if I start a website or podcast to just to be able to discuss those thoughts, I, you know, one, you're going to be judged. Yeah, yeah.

Obviously, you're going to be judged. But two, I don't think you should be arrested unless like, you know, this is a minority report, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Do you arrest people because, you know, I wish. Do you know they're going to commit murder or it's like, no, they haven't done it yet.

So, you know. But you know why it's not like minority report? This is, I wish Minority Report, I wish that was real. I wish there was science to understand when somebody was actually going to commit a crime and you can get them before it happened. The world would be amazing. Well, I disagree only because who's in charge of that and we have to trust that they are doing the, so we would have to make sure that they were transparent.

I'm saying, no, we'd have to make sure that whatever the science system is, make sure that the people that work for it doesn't, they're not in the future going to take advantage. just use AI where it's not up for debate like it'd be the same as calling strikes and balls and baseball once they go to AI we're fucked right so there's no controversy it's like yeah i understand the computer's like he was going to do it but with killing and the law and that is different thought crime is the term for yeah thought crime is the term for yeah god shout out to george fucking orwell he really made like got into the lexicon put that back up got it to the lexicon it's just crazy this book is just still relevant.

Thought crime is the term for politically unorthodox thoughts and beliefs that contradict the party's ideology. This is just a, this book is crazy. And I've read the, you know, the first 100 pages nine times and I can't get into it.

But it's a great book, you know? And it's just fantastic. What happens at that point where you're like, I'm not going to go further? They finally, the guy sees the girl and they're outside the trains and they see each other, but they can't look at each other,

but they can't say anything. And I'm just like, all right, I'm done. But it's an amazing person. When you look at all the guys like the assassination of Charlie Kirk or the guy who tried shooting Trump, there's, there's fucking red flags on their tweets or Instagram where it's like,

yeah, no, I know. Come on. No, no, I know. And the FBI's going, what do you wants to do?

Arrest him because he made a crazy fucking post. And we're kind of like, I know. Yeah. Well, there's people that get death threats all the time. Well, there should be the difference between free speech and then me saying,

I'm going to kill you. that's illegal that's not free speech right well maybe I'm going to kill you is free speech but I'm going to kill you tomorrow at 1 o'clock is not

right so when yeah that's premeditation right that go to jail for that weird stuff huh yeah weird I'm going to do tax evasion September 15

well the 4th you do it on the 14th yeah yeah 14 they come in the free cards are just he's going to do tax evasion heads touching in that that movie

I love that movie dude it doesn't make sense but I love it yeah I think the I think yeah don't even get me started I don't want to don't give me started

you're gonna you changed the locks I know you changed your locks somebody you got me into it somebody gets fired you change the locks

don't rile him up don't rile him up why would they why would his eye security still work explain that to me that is the Dumbest Stephen Spielberg and Tom Cruise are two smart men.

That is the stupidest shit ever. Eric, you said, don't get me started. I'm started. No, you already got me started. His wife breaks him out of prison at the end of the movie with the same eyes. That's crazy. It's so stupid. It is so stupid.

It's stupid. That's the first thing if I ever meet Tom Cruise, ever meet Steven Spielberg, I'm going to ask them this. I swear to God to you, it will be a, hey, Tom. I know you will. I mean, Tom, love you. Love everything. Just quick question. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just quick question, Minority Report. Just wondering why? Why was the I security still on at the end of the movie? I'm just wondering. Oh, man, of course,

I can't believe I was such a big fan. You're so, such an illustrious career. It's amazing. What's up with the eyelops in Minority Report? Could you imagine?

Dude, hey, it's going to happen. I'll do it for you. Go, have a good night. He's going to go, have a good night. Just, you know what? I guarantee he's going to go like this.

I know. We thought about that. We don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what the, we don't care. What if you asked about the ILOCs and all of a sudden, fucking people repelled in and arrested you. No, I think there was another movie,

there was another movie that, where that happened, and I thought about you, because I'm like, man, if they just had one little scene that cleared this up beforehand, they just be like, oh, and we can't change the I locks no matter what. That's all they have to do. No, no, I keep saying, that's what I say, this can fix minority report. a guy with like a box full of all his stuff he's in the elevator and somebody goes

the worst scene this is going to be the worst thing somebody goes what's up what's up I forgot to turn off the eye security yeah yeah yeah we're seeing in minority report but it would help it it's David Cross it would help it dude that would be the thing somebody the guy just goes you know I I I forgot to turn off his eye That's a David Cross part if I ever fucking heard and it's Steven Spielberg movie Yeah

And that's it Forgot to turn off the eye security Can you hit six please But there's two security guards with him He gets removed Oh right It's packed up Yeah

He's had to get packed up It's one of those things Or just one thing You know John down in records Can you get rid of him And that's it What happened with John in records

He left the eye security on That's it's like a two minute seed It fixes that movie And he keeps leaving the eye security on. We've told him this nine times. We should just film that scene and then add it to Minority Report. We just just do it.

That's great. You know, you know what I mean? Boy, I'm glad nobody started Eric up. Thank God. You know, and that's it. That seems like a account that could work, scenes that should have been in movies. You know what? That is a great idea of an account that we will never do, but that is an Instagram account that should do it for our Patreon. We go to your house, we just film scenes with the kid.

Like there was, kids be the things I was reading you know it's like that the basic version of that scene is oh fuck the cell phones went out you know what I mean that that's the basic version of

okay so this movie's then gonna people are in trouble you can't fucking tell you hey the killer's over there with a text the storm's coming the cell phone service right but that's yeah but that's how you fix it you have to have that stuff

but it does suck that that now cell phones honestly have ruined a lot of movies I know they really really there's actually a lot of those type of scenes in movies I know there's a lot of this in movies I know I can't get any service but that's what I'm saying it's like

but it's so it's like a hack scene but it's like you kind of gotta add it yeah because everybody into the theater is like this just fucking I want movies to start with Brandon would be on his phone in the movie I want use your phone I want

I want movies to start with the director saying saying I want movies to start with the director God damn it Brendan's face is hilarious I know Brendan is literally on his phone and I'm mentioning on his phone

he looks up no I'm not on my phone I'm just I can't wait to be done with this we said we're not going to start Eric up it's been 30 fucking minutes I've never seen the movie

I don't care Dick's getting eaten in Canada I want to jump off this fucking balcony. I've never seen the movie. Well, I say this every time we get into it. That's a personal problem with you. Every time.

And you guys keep harpet on Minority Report. I know. See how passionate he is about it. That's why I brought it up. Look how passionate he is. To Brendan's credit. I understand, dude. You talk about minority report too much, man.

Twice now. What do you talk about too much? But the intensity of. them not having that scene. Oh my God. I agree with you, bro. Why are you throwing me under the bus right now? Because it's too much. You're like those Saudi comics. No, I'm not. You know what it's like? You're not standing on business right now. No, I am standing on business because, dude, at the end of the day, man, you're only hurting yourself. If you grab a bunch of hot coals and you throw it at your enemy, you might hit them, but you're in pain. You'll be in pain.

You drive me crazy because you're in a movie and you see some nonsense and if your first thought is like, I know what Eric would say here it's because you agree. Yeah, I know. Okay. You're right. I do agree. Exactly. But you're only hurting yourself.

Hey, Nick, when did minority report come out? 2002. Not exactly a new movie. Here we are. Golden Hour. It's time for the segment. Minority Report News. You know what?

I should just start a podcast. It's just all about Minority Report. All the time. And when Colin Farrell did this, it's the Minority Report Report. That's perfect. He was great in that movie. Sometimes I really like him.

No, there was one moment. Oh, Colin Farrell is great. Sometimes I love him. And other times I'm like, but he's like, no matter, even if it's a bad movie, he's got that thing. There's one. Total recall was terrible, but I like them.

There's one. Daredevil. And we can end on this, but there's one part in the minority report. Oh, fuck me. That. Fuck you. Fuck you.

That Colin Farrell is a bad actor. When? It's when Tom Cruise gets away, one of the times, and Colin Farrell goes like this. And you just go, guy. It's not 195 anymore. Don't do that in a movie.

How those hot coals feel? in your hand. No, no, no, I'm not activated about it. You don't know. No, no, no. We know you. You're activated. I'm not activated.

This is Chris activation. No. Yeah, that's how you do. It starts. I see the vein in your forehead. I love calling. There's a vein right here in your forehead that is starting to. He's lying.

Fake news. No, I can see it. Oh, dude, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, I'm going to be in a bunch of different cities. Go to Chris Lear.com. Syracuse, Hamilton, Ontario, London. Oh, no, that'll be passed.

Go scroll down, scroll down, scroll down, because this is past. Oh, yeah, yeah. Chicago, Kansas City. This comes out next Thursday. Oh, it does. All right. Oh, then I'll be in, uh, oh, then I'll be in, uh, Dublin, London. November, Den Theater in Chicago and House of Comedy in Minnesota.

Come check me out. In the arena, MMA, out now. Oh, yeah, that's your podcast. Yeah. Yeah, good. How many episodes have you done so far? Just one. Last night.

So, oh, nice. It went great. Why don't you also doing the bad picks? What were your picks, Nick? What were your picks for the weekend? Don't give you the entire fucking prelims. Just the main card. Can you please put up, you should put up like how much money you lose, like in a corner.

That's a good idea. I think Hank by decision. I do track. I'm almost even for the year minus 6% for six years. You're like me with my diet, my macros. Yeah. But, hey, Nick, Nick, who you got in the Sanahagan Marab fight? I think I'm going to.

to bet Corey by finish. It'll be a really big number, like plus 500, plus 600. Yep. Corey by submission, it's plus five. Core by submission? 5,000, I think. Oh, wow.

Well, anyway, listen to Nick's podcast. What's it called in MMA what? In the Arena MMA. Check that out, especially if you're an MMA fan or especially if you're a Nick fan. Working title, I almost won that time. So,

close. Fuck by the Norty report. That's a good one. That'd be a great betting podcast. The podcast is called like this. So close. Podcast is called. Uh,

all. And it's just like, you know, it looks like, if you listen to one of those stock market things, where the money keeps going out. Oh, Nick's up. Nick's up.

Nick's up. He's down. Um, all right. So check it out. And subscribe to us. Thank you very much. All right, kids.

Love you. I'm out. This October. Fear. Fear is free on Pluto TV with horror movie collections from paranormal activity, The Ring. You will die in seven days. Scream. And from dusk till dawn. This is my kind of place. And don't miss the man-made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later.

There's something in the blood. All the scares. All for free. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. Hey, guys, Michael Malice here. Be sure to check out my weekly podcast. You're welcome with Michael Malice, now on podcast. Juan, you might know me from my terrible Twitter, my horrible books, or the nonsense I spout on podcasts like Rogan and Glenn Beck.

It's all there. Are you black-pilled or white-pilled for the future of the UK? What is a man? What is a man? What is a-no? Are you white-pilled or black-pilled? No, seriousness, girl. No, no, no, no.

I love the Jessamy people. piece of class. The fact that you discovered that gives me hope for some of the things that I've still got better with. Well, if you need James G. Blaine's autograph, you are welcome to it. Of course, being the co-author of How to Have Impossible Conversations makes you the perfect guess for this train wreck of a show. New episodes are available every Thursday on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Podcasts, Podcast One, and wherever you get your podcasts, you are welcome. We're going to be able to be. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.