The Golden Hour - My Girl Has a Mustache | The Golden Hour #24 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: April 14, 2023

Chris and Erik share stories about Ray Romano, Brendan reminisces about meeting Margot Robbie and the guy talk fashion etiquette, MTV's My So Called Life, owning dogs, relationship advice for girls with mustaches, and OnlyFans proposal for Chris and much more!   DraftKings - Download the DraftKings app and use promo code GOLDEN RexMD - https://rexmd.com/GOLDEN Call [phone] or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA), Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (CO/IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/OH/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MA/MD/MI/NH/NJ/NY/OH/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. VOID IN ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS).  Bet $5 Get $150 offer (void in MA/NH/OR): Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 pre-game moneyline bet. Bet must win. $150 issued as six (6) $25 bonus bets. Promotional offer period ends 5/28/23 at 11:59PM ET.  No Sweat Bet: Valid 1 per customer. Opt-in req. NBA same game parlay bets only. Min 3-leg. First bet after opting-in must lose. Paid as one Bonus Bet based on amount of initial losing bet. Max. wagering limits apply. Ends at the start of the final NBA game each day when offered.

I can play Anne Frank. So it was Anne Frank that was... Yeah. Yeah. She had to be quiet. Yeah. Ah, ah. Tsk.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Imagine you have to do that for 24 hours a day. Oh my god. Just wait. For 24 hours a day.

We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout. Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about. I'm sorry. Don't you use the love. Just rebrand it enough. It's stronger, better, bigger power. Cause it is the golden hour. It's the golden hour. I'm a hat guy now. You're a hat guy now? You look like the manager who fucked over Elvis. Have you seen that guy?

No, he had the glasses and the hat just like that. Alright. But he was balling. Last night I went to a screening of this movie I was in. It's called Somewhere in Queens. It's Ray Romano's directorial debut.

This guy's in a movie about New York and now he's a fucking hat guy. Yeah. Like he's like, hey, you know what? No, let me tell you something. It was so good. I'm not even. I was in it, but it's called Somewhere in Queens. I remember when you shot that.

Yeah. How long ago did you shoot it? Oh, man, like two years ago. That long? It was in the middle of COVID. I just want to say Ray Romano as a director and actor, and the movie was so good. Like, it was like you cry a couple times but then you laugh like the balance between drama and I it's it's it was perfect yeah

so shout out Ray Romano man yeah he's such a he's a good Romano's awesome beast shout out to that go check out somewhere in Queens it comes out April 24th I believe I'm gonna see it somewhere in Queens ah no that's cool that's believe You'll see it somewhere in Queens Ah No that's cool That's cool dude That's cool I like Ray Romano a lot Dude I made a fool of myself

Did you see Ray's special When Where he like They followed him Like going from each stage Oh no I haven't He did like nine sets Right around

Yeah it was cool I made a fool of myself In front of Ray Romano The last time I ran into him I know I've met him Before And I

You know it was really loud It was at the Upstairs of the Comedy Cellar. And they were like, do you want to say hi to Ray? I was like, oh, yeah. And I shook his hand. And I said, for some reason, so nice to meet you. And he was like, uh. And I was like, I know.

And then I think I said under my breath, I know you. I know, I know you. It was just. You panicked. Embarrassing. But I didn't panic. I just said, it's nice to meet you. I know. I know you. It was just embarrassing. But I didn't panic. I just said, it's nice to meet you. I think I was in that mode because I was meeting people. Yeah.

And I did that. And then I was like, oh, no. Because he's bigger than I am. And I don't want to be like, oh, I don't remember meeting you. Of course I remember meeting you. He's a comic, dude. I know. It's so dumb.

It was so dumb. Well, you're so self-involved a lot. So it's hard for you to be like. All right. It wasn't that, dude. People were trying to take pictures with me. I was like, yeah, hi. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Like, you're so self-involved a lot, so it's hard for you. All right, it wasn't that, dude. People were trying to take pictures with me. I was like, yeah, hi, nice to meet you, nice to meet you, nice to meet you. Like, hey, Ray, what do you want, an autograph?

He's like, what? I know, it's stupid. The only time I kind of fucked up, I was with Margot Robbie. I was working the Oscars, and I was waiting for an Uber, and she was getting a black car. And I saw her, I'm like, holy shit. And I was like. Is she so hot in person? Oh, dude.

Really? Like, breathtaking. I was like, you're waiting for an Uber? And she's like, what? I was like., holy shit. And I was like. Is she so hot in person? Oh, dude. Really? Like breathtaking. I was like, you waiting for an Uber? She's like, what? I was like. Oh, no. You waiting for an Uber? She's like, no.

I was like, cats, why would you? Stupid. Yeah. My Uber pull up was like a Prius. I'm like, see you later. Oh, no. Yeah. Was she literally like, no?

Yeah. Oh, not half of it. Not half of it. She's like, no. I'm like, okay, see you later. Yeah, I know. Me neither. And I just jumped through the window of the Prius.

Then the Prius pulls up. And he's like, I'm not waiting for Uber. And he's like, Brendan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep going. Keep going. He's like, that's weird. This guy knows my name.

No, my name is Rick. That's not me. Brendan Shaw. Rick. No, you're on the picture here I'm Rick I know he pulls the phone out that's you man

that's you man my name is Rick Glassman she's like I know Rick Glassman oh fuck you just piss shit yourself

shit no but I remember the first time I like you know what it is Ray Romano's like such a like it's almost like a

like a his voice and you know everybody loves Ray and all that so it's kind of like it's so iconic a like a his voice and you know everybody loves right all that so it's kind of like it's so iconic and distinct yeah that you kind of like it's like meeting you know yeah it's weird right you know like so i'm when i went did this movie i'm in new york and you had to quarantine at the time and then the quarantine's about to end and i get a phone call i don't know who it is it says restricted right you know and that's why i it is right

yeah yeah and i was so like, you hear his voice and you're like, oh fuck. What was he calling you for? Yeah, yeah. Because he wanted to be, thanks for doing the movie.

Oh, that's cool, man. And he took me to, he was like, we're going to go to dinner, man. You know, I'm like, yeah. He walks, we go to the cellar and it's like walking in

with John Gotti. Because also, he's got money, right? Yeah, yeah. That sitcom, early 2000s. But you wouldn't know. Right, I know.

Right, right, right right he has an old casio on he's one of those wow really yeah man the dude is like and then he said you know it's funny he's we're surrounded lunch and he's talking about stand-up and he goes yeah but i he goes i only do stand-up like maybe four times a year what four times a year and he was like he goes he goes yeah you know he you know i get on the i didn't want to say it. He was like, the private jet. Right, right, right, right. You know what I mean? When he does it.

And I said to him like this, dude, you earned that. We also know. I was like, you earned that. Like, don't be like – but that's how he is. He's such a humble, nice guy. Where is – He also made Bank off the Ice Age movies. Stupid Bank.

Well, wait. So what is this? He's coming up doing shows or what? Yeah, he's got shows in Vegas. Brian Regan. Brian's a monster, too. That'd be a good show. At the Mirage?

Oh, but that's not many seats, and they must be holding those tickets. It's not until April. Yeah, they should be. It's April now. It's funny, last night he said. Hey, that's this week. Yeah, it's not until April.

It's tomorrow. Yeah, that's a lot of seats left. He goes, yeah, look, guys, I'm going to be in. He goes, there's like 1,200 seats and there's 600 available. So if anybody wants to go. This was where? Last night at the premiere. That doesn't make sense.

Yeah, he was like. Especially with Brian Regan. They must be holding the tickets for people. Or it's just he's competing like Celine Dion's down the road. Still, Vegas is a late buy But still that's Ray Romano and Brian Regan Yeah it'd be a great show I mean I would love to see that show

Yeah I'll be in Ohio coming up ChrisLeah.com I'll be in Salt Lake City I think that's sold out But we'll be in Montreal Dude Hamilton Ontario You know all sorts of great places Nashville dude What the... You're all over, daddy.

I really am, actually. I'm in Atlanta this week. I would wish you... Stop telling us about the sold-out ones. Just tell us about the ones you're still trying to sell to. Because what happens is... Because then you're being an asshole.

Because what happens is... You know what I mean? No, you're being an asshole. No. You go like this, guys, Salt Lake City. That's good marketing. But it's sold out.

Like, you don't get the joke, bro? You get the joke. This guy's acting like it's real. Dude, this is my pet peeve, motherfucker. You don't do that shit. If I'm doing a joke, you don't act like it's real. You fucking hat wearing piece of shit. Hey, if I'm doing the joke.

I'm a detective now. But also. And I'm cutting through your bullshit. But here's the other thing, though. Here's the other thing, though. Sometimes they're not sold out when I say it now, but in a few days it might be sold out when the podcast comes out. So that's why also I do that.

Wow, that's even worse. I'm bad. So you were anticipating the sellout. Because it is going to sell out, bro. When does this come out? Thursday. Same time every day Thursday. Oh, so check me out in Missouri at whatever it's called.

The Blue Room? Blue Room. Great room. Love them, though. It's a great room. I'm going to be there. And then I'm not saying Louisville right. Am I not saying it right?

Well, they make you say Louisville. Louisville. Because somebody said to me, do you want your fans to come say it right? And then Comedy Mothership, April 28th through the 30th. I'm looking forward to that. That'll be fun. Yeah, it's looking good. Go see all of us

when we're all on tour and all that stuff. Dude, I just did, oh yeah, you know, Springfield, wait, Springfield, right? Yeah. It's awesome.

We've talked about that, but it's awesome. You're going to have such a good time. You've been there? Yeah. Okay. And you've been to that club. Yeah.

Yeah. I had the old guy was open. Yeah. He's open this time? Probably. I don't know. Yeah. So, how's my yeah

it suits you it suits you it's age appropriate i dig it doug age no just being like you know sometimes i want to no no it's good where we're this no how dare you no you look successful is what i'm saying it's like there we go like if a young guy does it like all right what's he trying to cover up man he's going through some there's some some people have like a thing where fashion works for them you know what i mean no matter who it is okay they can wear some stuff and you're like okay that makes sense even if it doesn't make sense jared leto can wear some nonsense and you're like okay i get it even if you don't like it yes okay i agree with that statement like i can. If I have some torn jeans on, I'm going to look ridiculous. I disagree with that.

I think there's a difference between saying. That's because you're 43. No. And you're starting to look ridiculous. I just started being 43. I think that the. Just stop. I think that.

This is new. There's a difference between saying, here are the clothes I'm wearing and here am I wearing these clothes. You have an attitude of, oh, here are the clothes I'm wearing. If you have the attitude, this is me in these clothes, then people accept you in that. And you don't care what they think. If Jared Leto was just walking around in regular clothes, a regular guy all of his life, and then started dressing the way he does, you'd be like, what a fucking idiot. But his whole life, ever since he was 16 on whatever that show was with Claire Danes,

My so-called life, one of the greatest shows ever. Oh, it was good? Oh, such a great show. Yeah, people loved that show. He was always that guy. But yeah, so it's like this is me in these clothes rather than. Yeah, that was him. You know what I mean?

Still crushing it. Isn't it crazy how right here he looks the same? Yeah, it is actually pretty nuts. He's a vampire. It is pretty nuts how great he looks for his age. It makes me wonder what he looks like actually close up when you're talking to him.

Because there's got to be a difference in what you... You know, I know that the high-def cameras show a lot, but, I mean, what is he? 50-what? 52? Yeah, it's crazy. He looks better than everybody up here. Look at his fucking... Well, that's obviously Photoshopped. Look at his ocean blue eyes. What? What do you mean that's Photoshopped? No, that's crazy. He looks better than everybody up here. Look at his fucking- Well, that's obviously Photoshopped. Look at his ocean blue eyes. What?

What do you mean that's Photoshopped? No, that's real, dude. And when he's on Instagram, no filter, dude, he's popping. That freaking show got canceled after one season. Yeah, So-Called Life is a weird thing. It was so crazy. They were talking about that, right? Yeah.

Didn't they do two? No. It was weird, though, because everyone loved it. Why did it get canceled? It was some kind of money thing or some kind of whatever. But that is one of the- I'm telling you you there's a character on the show that you'll be like that's me that's how great the show was that's such you gotta just watch it myself he sells out theaters back then he's the person the character on the show sold out theaters

oh my god you're such an asshole. No. Okay. Well, maybe for different reasons. Maybe it's not me. Okay. Are you guys on your DraftKings app? I was making a bet because it's the NBA playoffs. It's NBA playoffs.

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I think it was half full. I don't believe it. That's going to be so – I don't believe it. I don't believe that Ray Romano and Brian Regan are playing a 1,200-seater and there's half the tickets left. I don't believe that. Ray Romano is making a joke. That breaks your heart. That doesn't break my heart because I'm saying I don't believe it.

You should, though. No, I don't believe it. Those are numbers. Those are numbers. They need to do a podcast. You know how crazy it is that that era of people like Ray Romano, Tim Allen, and all those type of guys. Didn't have to do all this bullshit.

Ray Romano is not on the internet. Like, imagine not having to be on social media. What a blessing. Dude, that's so awesome. He's just like a, he's such a regular, I'm telling you, such a regular dude. He's just dripping money. Dude, I'm about to switch to a flip phone. That's so awesome.

I'm headed towards a flip phone. I use a flip phone on the road. Do you? Yeah, it's too much, bro. When I'm on the road, and when I'm'm on the road and when I'm on the plane, and when I'm on the, it's just, and then I got to perform and I'm like, I'm a zombie because I'm so bored I've been on the phone.

It's like, duh. I sat, I gave my phone to David Sullivan. I had my flip phone all weekend. You felt better. Bro, everyone was like, hey, you're amazing. What do you do? You suck when you, you know what I mean? We suck. I'm telling stories and shit. They're like, hey, you're amazing. What do you do? You suck. You know what I mean?

We suck. I'm telling stories and shit. They're like, where's this guy? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's not good. And even the most disciplined people I know are on their phone. Like my dad came and visited me this weekend, and he hasn't seen his grandkids in whatever,

eight months, and he's on his phone. And I was like, can I talk to you for a second? I'm like, you're one of the most disciplined people I know. What the fuck are you doing on your phone right now? He's like, yeah, you're right. I'm just reading. You don't even realize it, dude. He's not on social media.

He's like, I'm just reading. He's like, I can get information at all times. I know. That's not a good thing. Yeah. You started like, I didn't have my phone for over 30 days when I was in rehab. And you get set into your, oh, okay, I can just sit. Because what you're really doing is just...

Wasting time. But you're numbing the shit that you should be thinking of or the shit that you should be connecting with. Think about this. Think about this. Because see, you're old enough to maybe remember this. I do. But there is a time when if you were fighting with, say, your girl.

Yeah. Right? And imagine this. There's no phones. So when you leave, you can't communicate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. That's great.

It's great. It's great. Because what happens is you have the whole day. I know. And then you kind of like, ah. And then when you see this person again, you're like, hell, yo, I'm sorry. You apologize. Yeah.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. Now, like, it's just like as soon as you leave the house, you're in your car like, you fucking bitch. You stay on it. Yeah. You're biting. You're still, you know what I mean? That's also only one of the things that's awful about it.

Yeah. And that's awful. Yeah. There's so many things that are just like, dude, I'm not, you know, I go, I am on Instagram. I don't look at TikTok. I don't look at Twitter. I don't look at TikTok. I don't look at Twitter. I don't look at... I really don't look at Instagram.

But sometimes when I'm on Instagram, I'm just on it and shit. And then when... But Twitter to me is just constant news. And what's Kanye doing? I remember when Kanye was going through that shit, I kept Googling it and saying, what was Kanye saying?

Dude, it only made me feel bad. It only made me feel bad. And you live with that throughout the day. And you're like, even though you're not all day, you're like, oh, that sucks. Kanye sucks. You're bummed out for a reason. And the Jews and all this. And like, and Kanye just said the thing about the Jews and now he's canceling.

He's losing millions of dollars. I don't need to be thinking about that shit. I don't need to be thinking about that shit. All right. Upside. Yeah. So like on my instagram now for a while like before it was like for some you know it'd be like the algorithm for me it'd be like

it was just bad bitches yeah for some reason you go like what is this yeah now yeah now my thing has changed it's all these great married videos and dogs that's what you look at yeah like these like now i realize like whatever's going on in your marriage and you might think, oh, this is only happening to me. And then you go online and it'll be a video come up of this couple and it's like, oh, this happens to us. And now I find I'm sending these to Rachel all the time. She's laughing.

Cause it's like, it'll be like something like what, what your wife wants you to do when you were going to Target. Yeah. You know what I mean? And so now it's like, so what I think is like, when you're going to Target. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So what I think is like whatever you find yourself. Yeah. But I don't even know. I don't find that stuff interesting.

I don't even know if I like that either. No, I was going to say I don't want that Instagram. Minds, watches, and butts. I want it to stop. No, no, but here's the thing. Oh, dude, the videos that start like this. Hey, guys. You're like, you got me.

Here's my problem. Sneakers and asses. Don't just show me what you think I want to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's other things out there that you might find interesting and fascinating, man. That's what's going now. It's like sometimes you want a science video to come up. I know.

You know what I mean? Or something. It's just like, why does it always have to be just what I have looked at in the last 24 hours? They don't want us to grow. They don't want us to grow. They want us to keep focused on butts and midsections. And it's like, I want to learn about bees, dude.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. They know I like the line like this. You know what I mean? Yeah. They know. The bee. On chicks and dudes, by the way.

Even when I look at, I'm like, wow, that's amazing. Right? I said, but I want to learn about bees. I want to learn about stuff. I want to learn about those northern lights or whatever the hell. You know what I mean? The kelp that gets bright in the ocean at night, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're growing up. Oh, fuck, man. Butts. Butts and sneakers. Gotta go, dude. But do they, though? I'm over titties, bro. Get them away.

We're dicks. But I'm saying, do you notice how his list keeps expanding? It started to butts and watches, and then it went to midsection and titties, bro. Get them away. With dicks. But I'm saying, do you notice how his list keeps expanding? It started to butts and watches, and then it went to midsection and titties, and you're like, wait, hold on. And then like, if he keeps going, it's going to be like, oh, beautiful hair and legs. I'm so tired of butts and tits and legs and midsections. I'm sick of chicks with dicks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ankles and dude, when they're just wearing a blazer and that's it. It's a vicious cycle. Titties popping out of robes. I will say, though, man, I do get a lot of watches on my homepage, man. I love looking at watches and shit. But then it's like they're so expensive. I know no dents, but also it's like, come on. But there are some dents, right?

Well, it's just like 70 grand for a fucking watch. I want a dog. So now dog stuff keeps coming up. What kind of dog? I want a Rottweiler. Oh, yeah. Real dog. Yeah.

But so does Rachel. But then we have a fight because she's like, whoa. I want a rescue. I'm not cleaning. No, no. A rescue. She's not. No, you're not poor.

Are you kidding me? This princess, she don't want a rescue. Nice. She wants like one and a golden egg. Yeah. Daddy works too hard for rescue. I want some tainted dog in my place, but the thing is

she... Poor person's dog. Yeah, rescues are poor people dogs. Well, we have some. I know. Yeah, but you don't we have one but you never that's the one you never take pictures of

Chen's he doesn't deserve to have pictures that's what I'm trying to say the guy fucking vomits and shits and everywhere it makes us sad yeah

the only time he takes pictures is like when it's the maid you know what I mean he's also always like I can't catch him you know what I mean I can't do it

I can't he was living on the streets I know I get in a bed every time I get in a bed he's been living on the streets. I know. I get in a bed. Every time I get in a bed, he's in there with Kristen, and he's just like. I'm like, dude, let me get in the bed. And Kristen's like, come here.

And he cut a little sausage fuck face like this. Anyway, I don't like that. Get a Rottweiler, dude. No, but, dude, my uncle. My shit doesn't want to clean up after. I went over to my uncle. My aunt and my uncle's for Easter. He's got like a, I don't even know what the fuck it is. It's a pipple, but it's so big.

And like it's, the head is so big. And it's one of those dogs that like, when it comes near you, even if it's close, you've got like a stream of slobber. Dude, sure it's not a mastiff? Don't invite anyone over. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a mastiff. Don't invite anyone over. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a mastiff. Don't invite anyone over if you have a dog.

It looks like it's giving a, it looks like it's sucking you off. Slimer. It's a slobber. This is my thing too. Don't, I hate going to somebody's place and they're talking about,

well, this is a dog house. It's like, no bitch, this ain't a dog house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is a people house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you have a dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so don't, like, you don't, I don't get to, your dog doesn't get to, like, jump on me because I'm at your, you know. Or people that have dogs that bite. Well, yeah. I have a friend whose dog just bites people nonstop. What about murderers? And you're like, dude, just get rid of the fuck, you got to lock them up, dude. Well, yeah, if a dog bites.

There's places for this now. There's the training places and hotels you can take them to that would, you know. It's like, come on. Your dog shouldn't be biting people just random. Because that dog will bite you eventually. Correct. Well, my grandma had a dog, Bruno. Never forget it.

It's a good dog name. Most vicious dog. Small dog. No, no. This was a German Shepherd. Oh, that's a problem. Oh, shit. Okay.

So this dog was like, you know. I'll never forget this. The dog was in the garage locks. I would go there, and my grandfather, his name was Granddaddy George, what we would call him, you know what I mean? And then, like, so the dog was in the thing, and then somebody opened up the garage, and this dog was like. Yeah, ready.

More than ready. Saw me and was just like, you know, oh wow like that kind of run it's not like this where the two legs are yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean all four legs and then my we had an anime they had a croquet you guys know where croquet is it's like a yeah yeah yeah yeah he had a croquet mallet and had to fucking crack this dog in the head because it was about to like tear me up. Like Thor? Yeah. But what I'm saying is

that dog bit my grandma eventually. Yeah, right. Of course. Because it was like it was like just it was sick. She became half dog

like Spider-Man. Yeah, then they had to then they had to put it down. But what I'm saying is like Your grandma? Yeah. Goddamn. They put it down. But what I'm saying is like- Your grandma? Yeah. Goddamn. They put her down.

She kept biting everyone. And shitting on the couch. But vicious dogs, like, get out of here. Yeah. I agree. What do you got, Nick? Wow. This is an epic nose.

I'm from New Jersey, and I've got a debate club for you I've been watching a ton of documentaries lately with my wife we've seen the good stuff like The Last Dance that crazy hitchhiker dude who went nuts and started killing people with a hatchet you know the good stuff with that said what's something that you think

sports related crime related could be whatever really you think should be made into a documentary there's a ton of stuff out there but there's definitely stories that haven't been made yet so let me know i don't know that for me i'll tell you what dude the the last dance was that the jordan one yeah that one was awesome dude and i don't sales went through the roof after what did sneakers the jordan fives went through the roof man that that documentary was fantastic it was a like a five part or ten part-part or something? Yeah, ten-part.

I'll tell you another. You know what's a good one in terms for that is like the Magic Johnson one. Oh, yeah. The Magic Johnson one made me – I'm a basketball fan, so I was like, oh, yeah, Magic, he's up there now. For me, he jumped to like the number three best player of all time. What we didn't realize is he wasn't getting the coverage because there was no – you couldn't do coverage the way it is now. But this dude was – dude was selling out stadiums

and stuff when he was in high school as well. When he was going into college, he was that dude. But that was in the 70s. Was he a little before Jordan or something? He was before Jordan. No, it wasn't the same time. He was a little before Jordan.

He actually played Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. That's how old school he was. His adversary in college was Larry little before Jordan. He actually played Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. That's how old school he is. I didn't know he was that old. And then he also, his adversary in college was Larry Bird at Indiana, and he beat Larry Bird. Okay. No, but the thing about Magic was like, the thing about him was like he would play, and then if he got killed, if he,

hey, hey, Magic beat Aids. No, I know he did. You know what I mean? So if he, what I'm saying is like whoever would beat him, he would come back and beat them. Like if he didn't make beat Aids. No, I know he did. You know what I mean? So if he – what I'm saying is, like, whoever would beat him, he would come back and beat them. Like, if he didn't make the Aids announcement, I believe that the Lakers would have came back the next year and they would have been the Lakers bulls again and they might have won.

Yep. That's the thing that he would do every single time. Why did he come out and say he had HIV? Because they had to at the time. It was new. It was fresh. It was like the COVID in 2020. Yeah, exactly. And then it was like, you sneezed on something, man. They get AIDS. We can't have this. And they forced it. They had to at the time. It was new. It was fresh. It was like the COVID in 2021. Yeah, exactly.

And then it was like, you sneezed on something, man. They get AIDS. We can't have this. They had to do it. But then he did come back. He tried to come back, but at that point it was too late. And then have you seen his son? No.

He's 6'9". And we're like, oh, you're the next Magic Johnson. He's all, hey. They're like, you're not the next Magic Johnson. But here's the deal. He is, though. Because I think Magic Johnson's gay, right? That's how he got AIDS gay right that's how you look at me like I'm the oh you got the hat yeah I thought you were the detective you got the good one no but that's how they're saying he

got it yeah especially back then in the like early 90s there's like only really one way to do it I mean either butt stuff or or you're sharing needles. Right. He's too thick to be doing that needle stuff. Well. So I've seen way too much First 48. That's butt stuff. It is.

Either way, it's great. Who knows if he's gay. His son also. You don't want to pick up a basketball? Are you sure his son is gay? Let's just run through that again. You should have picked. He doesn't have one of those hats on.

Yeah. Yeah. Between the two of us, this is more gay than that. I see what you're saying. My favorite part is, go back to the left. Explain. What's this? Well, he was on that Rich Kids of Beverly Hills, I think. Oh.

Oh, yeah. It's like there's no debate here. Yeah. He doesn think. Oh. Oh, yeah. It's like there's no debate here. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't have the hat on, though, so we can tell. That's true. He's got it in his little purse. I mean, between the dress, the purse, and the makeup, I can see how the hat would be more gay.

Dude, how are you not in the WNBA, bro? This piece of shit. You know what I mean? I like when people do that, though. What? When people act like they don't know. It's like, oh, so. About what?

That's how you have to act now. You have to be like this. Oh. Oh, I know. You got to be like this. Oh, he's gay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All I see is a person.

Yeah. Yeah, all I see is. I see a 6'8 black dude in a dress. Yeah. I see a great dress, a great makeup. Yeah, yeah. A good purse. And a woman, maybe, if that's – I don't know how they identify yet. And he's holding a Bud Light.

I don't see a problem there. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's a – If they're going to make documentaries, though, I would like to see one. It could get weird with that – what's her name? Bad Barbie or whatever. Bad Baby.

Bad Baby. Because her come up to me is whatever. Bad Baby. Bad Baby. Because her come up to me is, I still don't understand it. Like, she was on Dr. Phil's show, Catch Me Outside. God, huh? That's crazy. And now she's got surgeries or whatever.

So she's on Catch Me Outside. It goes horrible. She talks all this shit, right? Yeah. Leaves and becomes this internet sensation. Now she's making making what was it 40 million dollars a year i think that's not true it's true she showed her tax returns you're one of those guys that's fun i just can't not fun so hey listen i just saw a thing today about like

what's her name uh what's the what the wop chick oh she's making something like eight or nine million dollars a month so she showed that was like like, oh, really? You don't believe me? Suck on this, Chris D'Elia. What's that? That's her OnlyFans account that she screenshot. I'm not making that? I think that's made up. I mean, yeah, you can easily make this up.

I don't think she made $40 million. Then how do you explain the $20 million house she bought cash? No debts. No debts. No debts. No dents No dents No dents Is that your soul leaving? I still don't believe it Yeah I'd like a documentary

If they had it from when she was a teenager With her relationship with her mom Going on Dr. Phil Documenting all the way to this 50 and dude and dude and platinum record musically i'm just saying isn't it nuts i gotta start rapping dude well like what's her name uh i just i'd be funny that i saw this today uh um what's her name iggy azalea like she's now on only fans so i thought it was just she's on OnlyFans

being like, well, that's it for my career and I'm going to show my ass and tits. It's actually way more than that. And she barely does any nudity. What it is, is all like, hey, this is the inside of my life. She does have some nudity. I'm in. It's like $25 a month.

And she's showing behind the scenes. What's her name? The WAP chick does the same thing. What's the rapper? Cardi B. Cardi B. So Cardi B for $4.99 a month, she's like, this is me with my kids.

You're seeing me behind the scenes. I got to get on OnlyFans. OnlyFans is it? So she made $500,000 in the first month. Bella Thorne's doing the same thing. The problem with Bella Thorne. I believe that. Bella Thorne made doing the same thing. The problem with Bella Thorne. I believe that. Bella Thorne made all the money. Here's my problem.

This is this chick's Instagram, right? And she's showing this? Yeah. For $25 a month, I don't want to see the same thing I can see right now. Yeah, of course. And you're not going to. Eric, are you her manager? Yeah.

Because you sold that. I'm into it. Did I sell it? Yeah. You like this? Yeah. Look you sold that. I'm into it. Did I sell it? Yeah. You like this? Yeah. Look at Nick commented nine weeks ago. Better than Amazon taste this kitty.

Wow, dude. I commented that I never posted first. Okay. Oh, really? It's her lyrics. It's her lyrics. No, we know. I'll be asleep, bro.

No, we know. We found out that's the way he talks outside of this. Better than Amazon taste this kitty. I'm so famed. He's got dreadlocks. And he had five legs. It's fucked up, dude. So they have this empire they're building,

this sort of direct-to-consumer thing where they're bypassing the music business and they're being like, yo, you want inside access? Here it is. Here's a couple of titty pics occasionally, but other than that you see me at home you see me doing this that's so different than comics and podcasting you know like we bypass the the networks but but the thing is like just don't show our dicks here's the thing though i

think women have so much more to offer in this space that's why they're doing better like college basketball for instance the top 10 in the top 10 most successful, like, it's women. Eight of the 10. They can offer more. The NIA of it. They can offer more. Oh, because they have tits? Yeah, they can offer more.

Are you saying titties? What's offer more? Well, the number one girl is a gymnast at LSU. They don't have to show tits. I know that, but the fact that they have them, yes. That's the thing. Well, that's why creepy guys that they have them, yes. That's the thing. Well, that's why creepy guys, that's the fan base. That's what people want to pay for.

You don't want to see me and Chris with our shirts off. Well, we do pretty well. You still said, remember when you said how much you thought I would make our OnlyFans if I was doing it? Yeah. No, no, no. The thing was, what would the price be? We never finished that. Yeah, we didn't.

We needed to know what Kristen would say. What's the number amount? I asked her. I can't remember what we said. What's the number amount would she be okay with? Last time I asked her, she said no, period. I was like, well, what's the number? She's also hormonal and pregnant.

But is she warming back up to the idea a little bit? I'm going to ask her once we have the kid. Yeah. Right? When the kid comes out. Real quick. So $2 million? Yeah.

What do you have to make? I think the thing was it has to be- But you would never make that. What? You would never make that. That's the thing. I would never make what? $20 million.

Yeah, exactly. $20 million a year on OnlyFans. I wouldn't make that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It'd have to be like a- Hey, so I'm saying- Don't set yourself short there. If I showed my whole thing, my whole shit-

Oh, no. You're doing the thing. Okay. So that's on the table, right? Yeah. It has to be. And it barely fits. Right.

On the table. Yeah. But it is big, right? And I get one of those hats I put on the end of it. Yeah, yeah. Okay? Yeah, yeah. And it solves cases.

And the glasses. And the glasses. And it solves cases. Glasses on your nuts. And my penis has that hat on. Oh, God. And it's like this. Here comes the drawings of that.

And what do we have? So what do we got? And there's other detectors that are like, well, it looks like there's some blood spatter. And my penis has that hat on and it's like this. Here comes the drawings of that. And what do we have? So what do we got? And there's other detectives that are like, well, it looks like there's some blood spatter and my penis. My dick comes in.

And then your penis comes in. Hey, boss, what do we got? Right? And my penis is like, wait in the car. And your penis is like, oh my God, get right. Oh my God, I'm so sad.

And he's pissing all the way over there because he's scared. My dick's in blackface. And he solves a crime. It's huge. No, dude. What the hell's going on here? No, that's bad, dude. What the hell we gotface, right? It's huge. No, dude. What the hell is going on here? No, that's bad, dude.

What the hell we got up in this cross-stitch? That's not okay, dude. Eric's going to take a real offense to that. No, I'm like Samuel L. Jackson. Because he's half black. Is this going to Fox? What the hell? What station is this going to be on?

OnlyFans. Sponsored by Bud Light. All right. So seriously, I show my whole thing. Large and in charge, we call it. I get the thing. OnlyFans.com slash large and in charge, right? Yes. And that's my thing. And I show the whole thing. Large and in charge, we call it. I get the thing, onlyfans.com slash large and in charge, right? And that's my thing.

And I show the whole thing. The whole thing. From ground up shots. You know what I mean? The thing, too, is you're walking around your house, and you're just butt-ass naked. Right, which I am, except when my whole family's home. But if we want 20 mil, that thingy thing's going to have to do some work. My point is, I'm showing the whole shit, and I'm doing the disgusting stuff.

I'm doing from down below, in the front, and behind, right? I'm holding it. I I'm showing the whole shit and I'm doing the disgusting stuff. I'm doing from down below, in the front, and behind, right? I'm holding it. I'm doing all sorts of shots. I'm doing it like this. You know, I'm milking it, bro.

Yeah. And I'm milking it. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. Both milking it. Give my fans what they want. I'm giving them what they want and I'm milking it in that way, but also I'm milking it.

You know what I'm talking about? $9.99 a month. How much do you think I can make? I'm doing everything. Five mil. A year? Yeah. You think I'd make five mil a year, bro?

Hey, am I gay? I love that. It was like a brief, just a hair of a second where you thought. You bought it. Should I? Well, I was thinking about. It was like a moment where you said, wait, I can make. You really believe in me?

How much? No, this was the thing you picked up on. I thought like, well, negatively, how would that affect my life? Like I was like. Oh, that's the thing. But then also part was like, is Brendan gay? I'm like, yeah, 5 mil, dude, easily. People need to see that.

Yeah, true. You might be gay. Yeah. But 5 mil, nah. You might be gay. But 5 mil? Nah. Nah. I don't think I'd make 5 mil a year. I don't think I'd make 5 mil a year. And here's the deal. The first year, I'd make way more than the

second year because after the curiosity thing... Dude, you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Let's get through year one. Year one, 5 mil. Let's analyze it like this. How much does it take you to win any comedy shows? Yeah, anywhere from 30 to. Because let's analyze it like this. How much is a ticket to one of your comedy shows? Yeah, anywhere from 30 to- So let's say 30.

Low end. Low end to see Crystal Lea, which is ridiculous. $30. Upper balcony. Yeah, sometimes you're all the way in the back. How many tickets do you sell in a year? Oh my God, Brendan. Yeah.

Now imagine it's $10 and they get to see that thing thing yeah and then also mine makes appearances as samuel jackson right in the background there's a pay you though oh my beak needs to get wet so that's what i'm saying what whoa so first of all you'd be charging something like fifteen dollars okay no yeah a month we. No, no. Shut the hell up. $15 a month. $15 a month. All right. So part of that $15 a month is if you're a platinum member, you get tickets to the show.

Okay. So that eats into my other. It doesn't because that person is only going to spend, even if your ticket is $100. Okay. They're already paying you that. That's a one-time buy for that person. They're already, now you got a person paying that. Monthly.

They're paying for the year anyway, so you're getting that, and they also get a ticket, right? And then they're still doing it, you know, two, three years. So, you know, you're getting that kind of money anyway. I'm saying there's more potential for you to still do stand-up and be butt-ass naked on the internet. So there's like, you know what I mean? Like, it's not that much. Like, five million divided by what? Divided by twelve.

How much is that a month? Yeah, it's like a five hundred thousand, you know, four hundred thousand, yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? See what I'm saying here? You know? I don't know, man. I'll think about it. Milk that thing. I'll have a conversation with Chris after the baby comes.

Milk it. So there we go. Who not? Speaking of walking around your apartment naked. All right, there we go. Okay. What's up, guys? Great beard.

So I was just watching Public Enemy, and I wanted to make some Eggo waffles on my toaster. Right over there. Crazy thing is, I walked past the dishwasher while it was heating my dishes. That was kind of good. I'm also in a bachelor pad. So you're disgusting. You know.

Got good hair all over. It gets weird in here. It gets real fucking weird. By yourself? So, when you guys were in your bachelor boy days, what was the weirdest thing you ever did? Besides just walking around naked and playing video games naked. Because I do that shit all the time.

Yeah. Well, like, this dishwasher thing? New. I don't like being naked. Very new. Well, like, this dishwasher thing? No. I don't like being naked. Oh, dude. When I was just me, I'm always naked. No, not me. Even now.

Nobody's there? I don't like it. What? I don't know. I'm not there. No, very rarely. But, you know. So I get that.

Yeah. You just want to be free. You just run around. Yeah, but I was. Put your dick on stuff. When I was living just for me, I was only naked. You're one of those guys. I was only naked.

Like I'm talking about- Like you're naked and afraid. Like way more than half the time. That's creepy. 100%. Creepy. Well, I just- Bachelor pad just means you don't have a woman's touch anywhere around.

And it's dirty. And there is something, that's a real thing. Like the things that you thought were okay, I don't care how stylish you are, I don't care how whatever. They're like this Fight Club poster is not going in the living room.

Do you have to have a Michael Jordan poster in your living room? Oh, dude. With a lava lamp? I had a great Pulp Fiction poster. It's in the downstairs bathroom now. Yeah. You're lucky it's there.

Yeah. It's that kind of stuff. Piction poster. Yeah. It's in the downstairs bathroom now. Yeah. Yeah. You're lucky it's there. Yeah. Yeah. It's that kind of stuff. Pussies. Yeah. That's why you're always fighting. No, I'm just kidding.

I don't have that. Yeah. I don't. I promise. Okay. Oh, God. The weirdest. He like fucking arm wrestles

his wife for like, you know. If I win. My UFC gets going in the fucking foyer of the, that Top Gun poster's going in the bathroom. Yeah, there's just stuff like that. The weirdest thing in my bachelor pad –

yeah, I don't know. I mean, I was naked all the time. Yeah, no. I slept on a mattress on the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dogs would shit in the house, and I would just figure it out later. I would shit in the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would just figure it out later. I would shit in the house.

You would just figure it out later? It was too hard to train them. It's too hard to train dogs. Oh, speaking of Mario, I'd say Eric attacks. Well, I'm segue here. I'd say Eric attacks. There's a scene in the new Mario. I took my kid's seat on Saturday.

It's fantastic. Biggest animated opening ever. Wow. And they refuse to go woke. They're getting a lot of backlash. So see on Rotten Tomatoes, they're getting like 50%, but the movie's like $330 million gross. Because remember, it's Japan, and Japan, Nintendo's like, we're not going woke. Like they wanted Mario to be like whatever, trans, whatever. They want it to be like fucking, yeah.

They're mad that- Magic Johnson's son didn't get the part. Yeah. So look, audience score, 96%. Magic Johnson's son didn't get the part. Yeah. So look, audience score, 96%. Listen, no one cares about that second, that one. No one cares.

Listen, what would you rather hear about? Would you rather hear about 100 pretentious fucks, what they care, or the 500,000 people who went to go see and they're like, hey, we like this. But look here, 10,000 verified ratings, 96%. 200 critics. By the way, by the way, let me just finish my rant. Okay. Shut your little mouth.

These reviewers, here's the thing. They work for, let's say, whatever magazine, right? And then so they have their review there. And then you go to their personal Twitter page, and they have like 60 followers. That means no one gives a fuck about what you have to say. It's obsolete. They're obsolete. Because you in your own life, you have worthless opinions.

Congratulations. You're a typewriter. Yeah. So then when you go to like your company company and then they're putting this thing out as if what you say has value it doesn't yeah oh dude hey you're hey congratulations guy who works at the fucking willoughby ohio gazette you're a typewriter dude hey i fuck you yeah you know what you know what i mean yeah yeah fuck you is right bro and you know what the mean? Yeah. Fuck you is right, bro. And you know what? The fast tomato or whatever this fucking thing is called.

What's it called? Rotten tomatoes. They should be fucking. I like fast tomatoes. They should cut. They should X amount. Get rid of it. I agree. Bro, these Gazette motherfuckers crying, dude.

Yeah. And the movie crushes. I'd rather hear more about what somebody who has like 50,000 followers, even that person who's going to be like, hey, I like this movie. You know what I mean? This guy's got no eyebrows. Like when I do a movie review, I'm saying, hey, I watched the movie. I liked it.

And people might come to me and be like, oh, I like what you have to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like what did you think of this movie, Griffin? As opposed to some dude, I don't even know who the fuck you are. This crazy guy has 479 followers. No, because it's's you're fired up because i've been on shows where i'm like you get a bad review and you're like who the fuck are you oh my lord lord lord lord tell them about it eric you've been on shows that have gotten low critic ratings but but also audience scores have been good.

Please explain now. Oh, my Lord. Dude, here's the deal. Also, I'll go even one further. Go to the Ten Rings Marvel one. The fucking Asian one, whatever that is. Chin, pull it up. It's on your homepage.

What is it? Shang-Chi. So racist. but it's a shang chi so racist so look this movie the audience score is 98 all right now uh this is a terrible movie a lot of expects to differ now the audience here's what happens in a lot of the movies asians go like this oh representation it representation. It's the Yao Ming effect. We got to go on there and vote it good. They don't give a fuck about the actual movie. This movie is so bad. So we hate him now too. I had a dream that was with the guy in it months after I saw it.

And in my dream, I go like this. Fuck off. Because of that. That's all I know about him. Okay? Dude, it go like this. Fuck off. Because of that. That's all I know about him. Okay? Dude, it's so bad. 90. Bro, 98%?

It was all right. So that's the thing that fucks up the audience rating. Rotten Tomatoes isn't really a good way to gauge a movie. A good way to gauge a movie is to find the people that you like to listen to. If you like watching listen to if you like what you love movies dude yeah if you know i talk about movies yeah a lot of people be like i like his opinion find out what the fuck he says about a movie but don't i hate everything so don't kind of me but no but here's the thing what you're saying though to piggyback on what you're saying

is like if you're like like like if we started talking about movies these people that watch our podcast they watch us because they like our band. So they're going to be like, oh, I want to go check that movie out because these guys I watch all the time, these fucks that got 400 followers, who gives? No one

gives a fuck about what you have to say because when you're on your own Twitter, no one's being like oh, let me go see what so-and-so has to say about shit. No one cares. No one follows you. So it's just because

you work for some company that no one cares about that company either. Oh, dude. No one cares about that company either. That's why you only have what's happening.

Get money. Get money. Fuck your page and the shit, you. With your 479 followers. The point is, is Eric needs to recreate. Greatest diss track ever. Ever, yeah. No, hands down.

Eric needs to recreate the Bowser scene where he's singing to Peach. It's Jack Black. But when I saw that, I'm like, I'm in the middle of a movie. I'm like, I got to text Eric. He goes like, put your phone away. I'm like, no way. Real of a movie I'm like I gotta text him he goes like put your phone away I'm like no man real quick what Chris said though

you remember like the last show that you liked a lot was a Korean yeah so good so you're not hating on this whole thing

I agree with you which I get so much hate about too when Crazy Rich Asians came out oh yeah I got texted and messaged

from my Asian friends yeah right that worked in the industry yeah saying like do we have to watch the movie? I told Brendan this too.

I'm like, is it great? Is it good? Just you have to go out and support. I'm like, no, I don't want to do that. It's horseshit. Tell me it's great first. You're a bad Asian. It's horseshit.

No, it's horseshit because I'm not saying Asian stuff sucks. That fucking shit was. Dude, if there's a great movie, then spread the word about a great movie. 100%, bro. That's it. You're doing it for my guys, it. You're turning art into worse. Don't get me started on Soul Plane. You know what I mean?

However, so one of the girls I worked with, me and Brent worked with a girl at Showtime. Once the Crazy Rich Asians had that success, she had way more job opportunities in production after that. Which is good. You're saying that's good. No, but I'd rather... If she's the best for the job. I would rather just be, if a movie's great, a TV show's great, spread that word instead of just being Asian, being black, being white, whatever.

Just show goodness. In a perfect world, we wouldn't have to push things because everything's been white for so long. Right, right, right. This is the pendulum swing. Eventually it's going to fix

itself. And the talent's going to rise to the top. Yeah, but I'm saying what we're saying is that we're not even getting a chance. We never get the chance to see other talent because the people that control shit have, you know, you don't see it. So now that people are trying to fight for that, there's a pendulum.

So there's people that get lost in the cracks until we fucking settle this out. Here's the deal, dude. It'll get fixed. I'm a white guy. Okay, obviously. What? Like, yeah, dude, go figure. But like, dude, if I, and I understand I'm coming from a place that is just not.

Privileged. Am I right? I don't even mean that. I understand I'm coming from a place that is just not. Privileged. Am I right? I don't even mean that. But like, dude, I don't want any white people watching me because I'm white. Oh, I do.

I want them to just think I'm funny. Nah, rally the troops. Nah, that's fucking bullshit. But here's the thing, though. I'm glad you said that. Yeah, I'm glad you said that. That's not what happens for white people. Right. That's not what happens. That's not what happens. That's not the thing. you said that. Yeah, I'm glad you said that. That's not what happens for white people. Right.

That's not what happens. That's not what happens. That's not the thing. I know that. The thing is, it becomes like, so now, that's why I don't like when people do what Chin's saying. I don't like when you make, like when Moonlight won the Oscar, it takes away from it because the year before it was, Oscar's too white.

So now, when the black movie wins, everyone goes, well, it only won because of this. Which is true. It does take away. Because by the way, Moonlight was a good fucking movie. Not the best. No, but it was really good. Takes away from it. All right, he didn't like it.

But yeah. I'm just saying it takes away from it. It didn't deserve an Oscar. No, I don't know if it deserved an Oscar. It wouldn't have won any other year. Listen, you could walk out of a movie starring all white people. I talk about this on stage. You could walk out of a movie starring white people and you could be like this.

That was trash. Okay? Make like half the characters Asian, transgender, whatever. Now somebody goes, hey, same movie. They go, how was that movie? Now you got to be like this. Yeah. You know, it was, because, then if you go,

well, it was trash, then people go, oh, it wasn't trash because you don't like this. No, because the shit

was fucking trash. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do know what you mean. What I'm saying is, everybody, no matter what race they are, can make trash movies.

Yep. Yeah. So stop making it out that because I don't like something, it's because of, Everybody, no matter what race they are, can make trash movies. So stop making it out that because I don't like something, it's because of whoever's in the movie. I don't like that shit. But also, the more important thing is stop pretending things are good because, to me, it's worse to say something. I'm not worried about people thinking, oh, you're saying it's trash because there's whatever people in it. Transgender. I don't care about that. What I'm worried about is – what I care about is don't – I don't want to have to say it's good because of that.

That's worse to me. Well, that's the virtue signaling. Right, yes. And that's going away though. To your point, the pendulum swinging back. It has to get right. Even itself out. Except for it.

It's got, I think it's gonna go back and forth a few times because I think that bro, bro, some white people are like really convinced like, fuck this. They're taking this shit. They're taking that dude.

They're not going to be okay until fucking a decade. Yeah. It's not true. They're not all of a sudden gonna be like, okay, it's leveled out, bro. It's swung. It's got to keep a sudden going to be like, okay, it's leveled out. Bro, it swung. It's got to keep swinging.

It takes a long time. You know how you can tell? You look at sports. Go back to like, let's just use the NBA for an example. It was 100 years ago or however long ago it was, right? 50 plus years ago,

the league was all white. Good basketball. And then it took, how long did it take before the league is, first of all, you can't even tell me a homegrown American white basketball player that starts in the NBA. Okay? Dan Marley.

Okay. Right. Thank you. J.J. Redick back in the day. Most recent. I'm saying the fact that you can name them is the problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my whole point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If they're not from Canada or from other countries. Anyway. So now how long did that take? Okay, then how long did it take before we started to have black coaches?

How long did it take before we started to have black GMs? We still only have one black owner and he's about to sell. So what I'm saying is it takes a long time.

So that's the same thing that's going to happen with all this stuff. My question, Eric, does the pendulum swing until all owners are black? Is that the best way to go? No, no, no, no, no no no no that's not the point the point is like when you feel like

when you feel like it's not a fair and equal playing field it's not about making something all whatever see sports is a meritocracy the reason why basketball is all black is because black people are the best at basketball percent okay it's a meritocracy. Like no one – I mean, they're lucky I didn't try, but – The best shine. Like if I put up a list of the highest paid basketball players in the league, no one's going to look at that list and be like, where are the women? Oh, right. Oh, my God.

Where's the thing that happens when there is someone that comes in? Like what was the Asian sensation guy? Jeremy Lin. Jeremy Lin. When Jeremy – he got ran out of the league no no no jeremy lynn he's got his face on no but when jeremy lynn he had his moment he didn't have his moment because he was asian he didn't have his moment because like he got the fame he broke motherfucking ankles he was bawling he was bawling okay he was bawling he broke

ankles so carmelo ran then the black guys ran him out of town. So what I understand, whatever. It wasn't sustainable, whatever. Okay? So what I'm saying is this. In entertainment, like, look, artistic integrity is more important than diversity and inclusion. But it's not a meritocracy, though, in a way. It's not, right? Because as much as I go on in a movie,

and I'm killing it, and people are like, is he from Liverpool? They don't know, right? Dude, there still will be haters out there that'll be like, dude, I can tell the accent's fake. You can't.

You can't. I think you can. Thank you very much, Academy. Thank you for all you fucking people out there. No, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. If you make artistic integrity the most important thing and you establish a reputation of that,

then when you have an Asian, black, or transgender person in your movie, there's a reason they're there. You're going to believe that they're there because they're the best. Because right now I'm smelling bullshit. You're going to believe that. Now even there are cases where now it is the best. But because of society and how things are going,

you have a feeling where you're like, is this person the best or is this some agenda? When you remove agenda and you just make it about artistic integrity, we will win. What do you mean we? 100% Let's go to commercial And if I'm the best person

To play a kamikaze pilot In World War 2 On the other side And I'm the best And I'm gonna do Oh we're gonna do A pool of hobo And it's me

And I'm the best You get the job I get the job Not because My eyes are a certain way Or my skin is a certain color Or whatever the fuck When I'm there

It also has We have to do No Alligators It has to make sense Like I don't wanna see If If or whatever the fuck. When I'm there, it also has... We'll have to do it. No. All the great shit. It has to make sense. Like, I don't want to see... If Samuel Jackson is playing Abraham Lincoln

in a movie, that's not going to make sense. Oh, no. It's stupid. For motherfucking score, you'd be like, no, this don't make no sense. And some goddamn years ago,

dude, I can play Anne Frank. It has to make sense. And that's where artistic integrity... And listen to me. All you woke fucks out there. Our statistic integrity is more important than diversity and inclusion. Oh, I like hat Eric.

I can play Anne Frank. Hat Eric. I like hat Eric. So it was Anne Frank that was. Yeah. Yeah. She has to be quiet. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. She has to be quiet. Imagine you have to do that for 24 hours a day. Oh, my God. For 24 hours. You wouldn't even be able to. Imagine if Chris D'Elia is up there with Ed Frank.

You'd be like, shut the fuck up, Chris. Shut the fuck up. Yes, it's funny, but we're going to make a fucking movie. Because he's doing this all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is the sound? Sounded like someone said, oops. Does this say oops?

Are you hearing the oops? Can somebody animate that? Does that something say no dance or something? No, that's what they would say to you when they caught you. You had too many dents. We're about to make some dents, yes? Do you hear somebody keep talking about their selling out? There are not six levels to a balcony. What is this guy doing?

Is this like... By the way, this is how people should send in their confessions. We went on that whole rant because all I said was, here, Eric, play the Mario song. Holy shit. No, because we saw the rating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so what's this guy saying? Yeah, he's got a relationship and he wants to keep it.

It looks like Nick. Yo, yeah. All right, so what's this guy saying? Yeah, he's got a relationship, and he wants to keep it. All right, well, he's on the shitter for sure. It looks like Nick. Yo, fellas, is there anything better than dropping a deuce while you're on the clock? Nah. My real question is, how do I tell my girlfriend that she has a thicker mustache than Mario and Eric? Wow. She's a beautiful girl. I love her to death. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

That's why I'm keeping this anonymous, but I really need y'all help. She's going to hurt you, dude. Yeah. What if this was a deleted scene from Mario? It's a me. How do I tell her? Here's the thing, though. If she has a mustache that she's not aware of,

then she got other things going on. She's aware of it. No, no, but what I'm saying is like, it's like, you know. She's Armenian. I guess you've got a princess, too. I mean, there's no way, you know. Like, Rachel is aware of, she was pulling out her chin here. Oh, they know.

Wouldn't let me watch. Yeah. She was like, get out of here. Get out of here. Right. Yeah. So what I'm saying is like, if this chick has a full on mustache, she's okay with it.

Also, day two, say something. Like, you're just going to leave it lined up like that? You don't want to near that fucking bad bitch? Maybe not like that. Hey,

bitchy. Maybe like, oh, you got some food on your, urrr. Is that a, have you had a Manscaped promo code shop? Listen,

you have to find ways to be able to talk to people about things. Because, like, you know, I just think you have to just find a nice way of being like, you know, babe, you know, you got a lot of. Say peach fuzz. Yeah. Find some cute thing to say. It's cute. I like peach fuzz. But also just watch a show with some girl with a mustache.

Like, oh, look at that bitch's mustache. Can you believe that shit? Who would do that? Who would do that? Oh, wow. Yeah, just let that simmer. She's just in the bathroom. That bitch looks like Hulk Hogan.

She's just shaving herself crying. Yeah. And he's like, I would never. Also, I've never seen a hot girl with a mustache. Or you could just be like... Or you could just be like... You know what you could do is... mean it's disgusting you could literally be like hey i really love your mustache she's like she'll shave it she's like what you know what what the fuck really hyped about yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you got girl man that st And I don't. I want to do mine.

It's better than mine. It's thicker than mine. Say this. You know what? This will be the clincher. Okay. I don't normally like mustaches on women. But yours?

But this one. That's the clincher. That's good. No, I like it. That's it. 100%. That's the clincher. It'll be gone., I like it. That's 100%. That's the clincher. It'll be gone.

You'll be gone. Yeah. Then you can be like. What happened? I can't believe you did that. You know what? I like this. I actually like this.

Yes. This is a new you. Oh, my God. I saw this great tip. That's a good relationship tip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw this one that was great. good relationship tip yeah yeah I saw this one that was great

it was like so if you you want your girl to pick like you know when you ask your girl where do you want to go eat

yeah yeah and she's like you know you touch her thing you just go like this babe guess where we're going to eat

and wherever she says you go yeah bro that's hilarious what a fucking life hack Bro That's hilarious What a fucking life hack That's the When I saw that one

On Instagram That's funny That's funny That's what I'm saying I was like Oh wow But Rachel saw it too So now I can't use it

Oh fuck See that's why You gotta keep Stop sharing those things I know I know I know I actually think

She sent it to me Oh So then it's like I'm like Oh fuck Oh damn Kristen watches this podcast I won't be able to do it You know Kristen I know. I actually think she sent it to me. Oh. So then it's like, I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, damn. Kristen watches this podcast. I won't be able to do it.

You know, Kristen loves watching this podcast. It's my mom's favorite show. Really? That's hilarious. Eric's her favorite. Of course. I'm like, you're a piece of shit. Of course I'm her favorite.

My mom has a mustache. Just kidding, mom. Love you. Just kidding. By the way, we love your mustache. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You definitely don't get rid of it. But she's at an age now where I'm like...

Oh, my grandma had a goatee. I don't care. What do you got? It's Tony Instrom. Hi, Brandon, Eric, Chris. I have a new segment idea, but it's basically like, am I wrong for doing this? Oh, good. Am I wrong for doing this when i'm

at walmart i'm at the grocery store and you get the little you know you get your item you scan it so you scan something and then it's supposed to go you pop it pop and then you grab your next item and you scan it and it goes beep well for some reason walmart you gotta scan it And wait for the beep So you might be sitting there for five minutes Just scanning something Now I have a rule My rule is if I scan it More than twice and it doesn't beep

It's free for you It now becomes mine Am I wrong for that? No you're not dude That's on Walmart Well according to the law, yes. It's still technically stealing. But I get it.

Listen, here's my thing. So I got to come in and do your job? No, I know. Benihana shit. Fuck off, Benihana. Bring it when it's ready. I don't want to watch this shit. Oh, I love Benihana.

You get to do it yourself? Fuck off. And I tip you, by the way. No, they do it. Tip me. No, they toss strips in their hands. I know, but there are places where you... That's Korean barbecue places.. Where you get to do it yourself? Fuck off. And I tip you, by the way. No, they do it. Tip me. No, they toss shrimp in their hat. I know, but there are places where you- That's Korean barbecue places.

Yeah, bro. The Korean barbecue places? Yeah. I'm cooking the food. I'm with Chris on this. Tip me. Chin. He took me to Korean barbecue and they bring the meat.

I'm like, well, who's going to cook it? It's the best. And then Chin's there cooking the whole thing. Have them do it. Dude, it might be the best. Have them do it. So now I got to like, then sometimes those machines, you got to have a degree from the learning annex just to fucking figure out how to like make this thing work.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's bullshit. They should have the manual there and you're sitting there like, okay, first. You got to watch YouTube videos. Yeah. And then this whole thing too, like put your item in the bag, you know? You're just like, well, how do you know all this? Yeah.

So it's like, fuck off. I hate that. Now, here's the point though. You know what? It's still steel. Here's the deal. No, I get to keep it. I'm doing your job I get to keep it fine. That's against the law. I'll arrest myself. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do the cops job, too Yeah, no, I'm in jail at home jerking off. Oh, no, I'm in jail If I do the cops,, I got to be like this. Gah! Gah! You know what I mean? Okay, that's too much.

It's too much. It's too much. It's too far. Put your knee on my neck. We find where the line is. That's it? I got to do yoga to arrest myself. Here's a question.

Have you seen recently at Star? You don't really go to Starbucks, right? You're more of a Peaberry or whatever. Are you a Starbucks fan? Listen, bro. Real quick. You asked me a question. I can't even answer it.

Well, before you answer, I was going to say. It's him. Yeah, come on. Brendan interrupts himself. Well, that was rude to himself. I'm like, oops, no. When you check out, they offer you a tip. One, two, three dollars.

Yeah. It's like, well, this drink is already overpriced. Yeah. It's eight dollars. I always feel bad if not leaving a tip. Yeah, but you shouldn't. Oh, you're a monster. No, no, no.

I always tip. I always tip. But I think you shouldn't feel bad if you don't want to. Oh, right. Yes. I always tip. You don't want to tip. Yeah.

Don't tip. I always do. So don't want to tip. Don't tip. I always do. So they have the, you know, give the dollar to breast cancer or tip the- No, the jar's gone. Now it's just electric when you run your cart. But here's my thing. I feel like I don't like going to- I don't go to Starbucks, coffee bean, anything.

I'm so foo-foo now. Oh, right. You do your shit. I do my thing at home. So now if I go to like- I want to go to one of those offbeat places. Oh, gross. You do your shit. I do my thing at home. So now if I go to one of those off-beat places. Oh, gross. Where girls have mustaches.

Those places are often way worse. They're like hamsters with mustaches. They're often way worse. I like Blue Bottle. I think Blue Bottle is pretty good. I don't like Blue Bottle. No, no. Yeah, I like that.

Well, I make my own coffee anyway. Yeah. To me, the chain that is the best one right now is Pete's. Because they're ice. I thought we were making our... Ew, Pete's. Pete's to me, for what I get. For what I get. Yeah, I'm not a Pete's fan. And you know I'm a coffee bean boy now is Pete's. Because they're ice. I thought we were making our... Ew, Pete's. Pete's to me for what I get. Yeah, I'm not a Pete's guy. And you know I'm a coffee bean boy,

but Pete's. Coffee bean's nice. Their cold brew's nice. I only get four espressos over ice. I get quad shot espresso over ice. That's all I get. But... That's a lot. Of coffee? Yeah. But... I just love... I feel like a scientist at home

with the grinding side. With that hat. I'm love him. I feel like a scientist at home with the grindy hat. With that hat. He's annoying. I'm investigating. This is my espresso hat. I'm investigating. The milk here seems to be. I have the hat like on the thing next to the thing.

And I go, it's espresso time. It's coffee time. It's espresso time. He says, the milk spatters on the wall. And I just ordered. And I put honey in my coffee. So I just. There's this company in Denver.

B. George. Denver B. George Or B. Jorg Or whatever It's a weird name They have these great honeys Like they have a lavender honey They got a In the coffee

Turmeric ginger honey But isn't it It's a cloudy honey right Oat milk and honey Is it cloudy Like it doesn't like see through I don't use terms like that I like the cloudy

Don't use terms like that Hints of clouds Yeah Earthy I went to this place in Kansas City Called Thou Mayest It is a coffee place It's the best coffee place

I've ever been to Just vibe wise And I got the Four shots over ice Was really really great I'm like wow This is very good I do a review

On my channel About the coffee places And this was the best coffee place I've ever been to Dude the guy comes up to me And he says Yo try this And I was like

Okay what is it And he says, yo, try this. And I was like, okay, what is it? And he says, these beans are soaked in whiskey, in whiskey barrels. I'm in. These coffee beans. And we then take them out and then brew them that way. They dry them. He says, there's no alcohol in them. Try it.

And I go, all right. There's no alcohol in them because I don't drink and shit. So he said, drink it. It tastes like kind of whiskey. After you drink it, you're like, aerate it. You let it, you aerate it. Whiskey. Dude, it's the best coffee I've ever had.

Why don't you order it? I got it, and I make it. Oh, you got it. Sent to the house. It's so good. I'm going to get you guys it. I'm going to order it. I'm going to get it.

Because I love this kind of, I have so many meetings at home. But back to Starbucks. It's so good. I'm going to get you guys it. I'm going to order it. I'm going to get it. Because I love this kind. I have so many beans at home. But back to Starbucks. They have a new dip. Starbucks has a new coffee where they mix it with Italian olive oil, and they fucked up. I know. You think, oh, delicious, but it's just a new hype to sell more coffee.

But where they fucked up is when you mix oil and caffeine, you shit your pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So people are running to the bathroom. Well, that's the same thing. So it's going away. The barista brand for oat milk, to make it where you can use it to be foamy, there's some oil in it.

Yeah. I think the thing with Starbucks, though, is that they fuck their shit up so much that it doesn't matter what flavor or hint of whatever they have, it still tastes like fucking plastic because they burn everything. See, I like it burnt. And I get the same thing every single time. I mean, what, bro?

Yeah, like real dark. This kind of guy that goes to Denny's. No, how dare you, dude? Come on. How dare you? Denny's? Come on. It's the same kind of vibe.

I mean, it's fine to go to Denny's every now and then. They have the best French toast. He's going to Starbucks? I knew he liked Denny's. Just late at night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, fine. But like...

Because everything's closed down. I know, I know. Bro, I was in New York for the first time after the fucking pandemic. Shit's closed in New York, bro. Yeah, dude. It's crazy.

Fuck. I'm so pissed off at this goddamn COVID shit. Don't push me. I know. Don't push me. Fuck. I'm so pissed off at this goddamn COVID shit. Don't push me. I know. Don't push me. I'm so lazy. I know.

That was a lazy bird. I don't like the still photo of his eyes. I love guys with toy rooms. I love it. All right. Let's see what's up. Guys, I have a debate club for you guys. But all right, let's see what's up.

Guys, I have a debate club for you guys. I know you guys always give Chris a lot of hate for, you know, wearing that Carhartt hat hitter. But credit you, you wear the Bass Pro Shop hitter. Correct. You don't fish. So the question is, which one is the worst poser? Also, don't hate on these collections, man. I have a podcast, so I have to collect it, right? I think that's cool.

Let me know what you guys think. Love you guys. I like collecting. Eric, if you ever need Star Wars help with Mandalorian on the Woo Woo podcast, let me know. I'm always here for you. And Chen, if you ever want to go ice fishing, let me know. Let's go. I'll definitely take you out one of these winters.

Where's he at? Minnesota. Have a good day. Bye-bye. Woo Woo Woo. Minnesota. I literally have to change the name of these winters. Where's he at? Minnesota. Have a good day. Bye-bye. Woo-woo-woo. Minnesota. I literally have to change the name of my podcast now to the Woo-woo Podcast.

I'll tell you what. Did you say that or something? Yeah, he just said that. Oh, yeah. You definitely should. No, first of all. Go ahead, Chris. No, go ahead.

No, no. I think the biggest poser is the Bass Pro. I do, too. Yeah, because don't. They're the biggest fucking posers. My hat! No, no, dude. No, dude. Carhartt is a whole... That's like whatever. Who cares? You know what I mean? There's no cars, there's no

hearts. I agree. But bass pro fishing, you're supposed to be like, you know, people that go in there, they're real with their shit. And you're just wearing it? Yeah, dude, because there's a fish on it. No, dude, I think that the Bass Pro Shop people are fucking horrible. They don't sit like that.

I do. Remember the trucker hat people? Yep, that's who that is. Bass Pro Shop, here's the deal. Bass Pro Shop is Ed Hardy. Ed Hardy, thank you. Carhartt is not Ed Hardy. Carhartt is, look, you're wearing a Carhartt right now.

Yeah, dude, but I don't do anything outdoors. Neither do you. Yeah, but it's not... How's that any different than Bass Pro? I support Bass Pro. Bass Pro is super specific outdoor things. Yeah, it's a right wing. The Bass Pro hat does nothing except show you

that you're a poser. Dude dude i bought a pink bass pro shop hat the other day from lulu the fucking i bring it on the road should say poser pro yeah but she bought it because she's a chick and she wants to look stylish and she looks pretty lit right she looks good in it yeah but i'm not you got these dudes that are like on TikTok like, what's up with the Bass Pro Shop shit? I don't know about that. Yeah, you do. There's a dude on a lake right now with a fishing boat looking at his TikTok like, who the fuck is this? Yeah.

Yeah. And dude, the people who actually wear the Bass Pro Shop shit aren't doing the actual shit anymore. Yeah, I know. The car people still are because they know it's a lifestyle brand and it's good. Bass Pro Shop is just, it's Target now. It's not a lifestyle brand they know it's a lifestyle brand and it's good. Bass Pro Shop is just Target now. It's not a lifestyle brand. It's not a lifestyle brand. That's the thing. It's just become like an asshole

wearing a hat to say what? I like to fish. I grew up fishing. Where? In Denver. And I don't fish anymore. I know a guy. There's no pictures of you on a lake. I need to see pictures. I'm just murder. There's no pictures of you on a lake or something. I need to see pictures of you on a boat. Dude, I'm just murdering fish.

Look, people love your hat. It's cool, yeah. Oh, God, imagine. Now do me. Now do me. I look like I'm playing a piano. Like I'm a jazz singer. You do, bro.

That's the cover of Ray. Now do me. If I wear the hat and should Chris wear it? I would look so bad in that can you put it down let's yeah as long as his hair's okay what do you mean as long as my hair's okay why is that you know brian callan he has good hair oh god you look like you should have a zoot zoot you know this looks like he was in malcolm x he was like zoot zoot ryan ryan bring out a bottle of beer.

You're going to rock hats from now on? I think it'd be a good look. I'm not going to rock them all along. I think it's cool. Is there some hat people out there that want to, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put a ticket in it. I got a guy. Put a ticket in it.

A ticket? Yeah, like you're a private eye. No, you're like a private eye. It doesn't matter what it is, but. A ticket to Eric Griffin in Missouri. Yeah. We need to get Eric a big camera with a big bulb flash. Yeah.

That'd be hilarious. Oh, wow. Yep. Crystalia, hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The original TMZ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else you got, Nick?

Is that it? That's it. We did it. That's it? Yeah. So go to crystalia.com. I'll be in Ohio. I'll be in Salt Lake City.

I'll be in Tucson. I'll be in Colorado. Crystalia.com for tickets. Where you at in Colorado? I'm going to Pueblo. I told you about Pueblo. And then I'm going to Colorado Springs. Oh, good areas. I like Colorado Springs Chrisley.com for tickets. Where are you at in Colorado? I'm going to Pueblo. I told you about Pueblo. And then I'm going to Colorado Springs. Oh, good areas.

I like Colorado Springs. Yeah, it's nice. Atlanta this week, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Atlanta, come get you some. That's it. Yeah. Cool. Cool. ༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱༱� Thank you.