The Golden Hour - Now THAT’s a Twist | The Golden Hour PATREON #42 EXCERPT w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

The guys talk Sam Tripoli on Trump, George St. Pierre being abducted by aliens, all new live call-ins including the artist with a crazy girlfriend and advice for a new young home owner, etiquette for ordering at food places right before they close, M. Night Shyamalan's movies and family, a seven foot 3 Chinese girl basketball player and much more! Get the full episode plus two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us It's like a show you used to love, just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour What's up dog?

This guy's arms are huge compared to his head It might be the camera, it's Jack We can't hear him again Nick Oh dude you can hear me now We hear you. What's up big dog? What's up guns? Yeah. What's up guns? Guns blazing right now. You can't, dude, you can't see these ostrich legs beneath this desk. Oh, I'm about to say it looks like you could tie your shoes standing up. So orangutan arms. How tall are you? Six, four,

but my wingspan is like six nine. Oh, damn. All right, John Jones. All right, tone it down. Damn, Doug. Do you play basketball? I'm down. Are you wasting all this? I'm slow as fuck.

Get out of here. Oh, God. I trip over my feet. Trash. Trash. Which is also. Where are you calling him from, boss? Austin, homie.

Oh, hell yeah. Oh, that's why it's so artsy in his fucking place. Look how artsy it is. He's got a light in the back. Oh, no, he called him before. Oh, this is the art guy. Oh, that's why it's so artsy in his fucking place. Look how artsy it is. He's got a lie. Oh, no He called him before Fantastic cuz he drew this picture of that girl. Are you guys still together? Oh, no Close the deal you piece of shit No, she sounds like a piece of shit. He does this nice artwork for

Say again you do you do all this nice artwork for and then she, say again? You do, you do all this nice artwork for her and then she doesn't want to be with you? I would say she's the piece of shit. You don't remember the story, man. You don't remember the story. We had a giant fight where I was probably in the wrong. I had tons of paintings of my ex all over my house. Oh, that's a pretty good man.

I threw them out eventually, but the wound was set. No, but that sucks though. It's like when you're an artist, that's what inspired you now. You have to know that. It's kind of like if like you're a comic and you're doing jokes about stuff Then your girl is like, oh, why are you talking about that now? It's like this is what I do But also was all the art like this with their face like that that could be anybody that could be konga's girl

I think it's the titties that she probably had a problem with. Yeah, i'll say does all your art have titties? Yeah, that's the tamest one. The one you guys have by a mile. Oh, this girl is banging. Most of it's not representational. Yeah, this is banging. And so I have to apologize to him. When we first had her on, I said,

can you send us a picture of the girl? He's like, yeah, but just show it to the guys. Don't keep it on the thing. And I did not blur it. So I hope that's not why you guys broke up. Oh, no, honestly, now it's a plus, the fact and I did not blur it so I hope that's not why you guys broke up oh no honestly now it's a plus the fact that you didn't blur it oh you're welcome I take back my brother no harm no but no she moved in and then we broke up within like hours he said our that's hilarious so buddy That means y'all did like, see, I tell you, that means that the sex was great between y'all.

Y'all thought it was going to be like this. She moved in and was like, hold on. Yeah. You don't keep the toilet seat up? It was Saturday night. We moved in Saturday night, and then Sunday morning it was over. Wow.

Oh, no, no, I have to know what happened. Tell me what the first fight was. Oh, so the first fight was the paintings. The paintings then progressed, which was, why don't you paint me as much as you painted your ex? Which is kind of a crazy question. Bitch, I just met you! You say the Titanic? Oh my God, I'm so mad at this girl. That's like crazy. First of all, so you never had her over at your place before she moved in oh well though she was aware of everything said she was totally fine with it and then about a week away from moving in

is when she's like all these paintings make me really uncomfortable I can't live in a place oh my god also the paintings take time it's not like your printer mom it's like yeah I'll paint more of you it takes like fucking months to get all this shit together lady I need to be well now you pay to paint a picture of you kicking her out. That'd be a great painting senator ass Just you with her foot in her ass. What was your question though big dog? Oh You went silent you went silent hold on hold on there you go you go inside it for a second Okay, so we break up I go to an Airbnb with for a second. Go ahead, restart. Start over, start over. Okay, so we break up.

I go to an Airbnb with my dog and stay there for like two weeks to give her time to find a place, move out. Eventually she finds a place. I come back and all of the oddest things are missing. She takes all of my AirPod Pro like headphones. I have like three sets of them. They're tough to find.

She takes a giant Yeti cooler. She takes my motorcycle toolbox for working on old bikes. Oh weird. She takes like two or three old journals. Oh, she's a grifter. She takes a bunch of clothing. And then now she's like, I can't see you. It's too emotionally devastating, but I'll give you your stuff back. And that was three months ago and the toolbox, I mean, is like pretty irreplaceable. But the question is, is like pretty irreplaceable but the question is how do I go about getting this shit back? I have a really huge

question here for you okay you move in with a girl she comes to your place and instantly she starts going crazy. And you let this motherfucker stay at your place and you went to an Airbnb? He was a nice guy, man. No, no, no, get the Airbnb for her. That's not a bad point. Why would you leave her with all your stuff?

I mean, I took like the crypto wallets and the passport and I was like, if anything happens, it happens. It just, it was, I felt bad. I mean, it was like she changed her life and moving to my place and then it fell apart. So I felt like a little bit of decency to do, but I guess wasn't expecting the nefarious like toolbox theory. But it sounds like she took all that stuff. Is she dating somebody else? Cause if I was dating a girl, she's like, I have this kick ass, you might motorcyte vintage motorcycle toolbox and like, damn, this kick-ass you might motorcycle vintage motorcycle toolbox like damn this chick said you might want

to look into like she might be doing this to a lot of dudes moves in and then like steals their shit and she's got like a eBay account she's hot enough to get away with it yeah deal my shit this sounds crazy to me it sounds crazy but what should he do to get his shit back oh you got a no no no dude the nice guy shit is done it's over it's over what are you talking about you go over there you go where's my shit okay give me my stuff that's not his style I don't know where the new places cuz she moved to a new place and you can't get a patient can you get a hold of her on it's just a lost cause yeah can you

DM it now we gotta get that toolbox back. She's can you DM her? You, but can you DM or text her? She blocked you. Oh, so I've blocked her because she's gone on a couple of like public tirades about the fact that I'm like a horrible human being. And it's like reached out to all my friends. And so many contacts. Give us her Bro, what? We will mess, we should message her. Welcome to my life, man. Yeah. That is crazy. You try to do right, then they go on YouTube.

How do you not block her before you get your shit back too? Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, if I cared about it, I should have taken more proactive steps. So does she have these videos up currently on her Instagram right now? Yeah, I mean, I, they were like like they were pretty aggressive to be honest like spawn of Satan type stuff Oh, I really I followed her so I don't know what they're

Hey, but here's the thing we got a but here's the thing though. You dodged a bullet this could have been way worse Yeah, yeah, imagine you got a pregnant or something. I have some screenshots of some of the crazier, like, thirst trap plus attack posts that Nick's curious. Yeah, yeah, send them. Oh, we'd love to see it. Can we look at your Instagram? Sure, yeah. If you friend me, I'll just accept you.

OK. He's private now, man. Yeah, this guy's private. What is it? You dodged a bullet, though, man. If you talk to her, have her watch this episode. I made her a painting. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Oh, she watches. So I'm guessing she's going to see this. Oh, nice. She pays for the Patreon, too? Well, she doesn't sound like a terrible person. The first episode that we did together, she's like, oh, these guys are so funny. Thank you.

And she started watching. She, of course, loved Chris D'Aleo, like every girl out here. She you. She started watching. She of course loved crystal Leo like every girl. She stole his wallet too. She stole his toolkit. Man, that is tough one. It was wild. It was fun though. It's a good story. I mean, move in, break up same day. Do you still have this picture though? This painting is yours or does she have it? Oh no, she took the painting. That's a good painting. Wow. That's a great painting. Wow. That's a great painting

Do I have you been on dates since? Nah, I'm a bit of a hermit though, so I'm out about every once in a while You know what you should really that that should be now the symbol for crazy chicks that picture you could sell merch That's great. You know what I mean? It's a great picture for that, you know sell merch that's great you know what I mean it's a great picture for that you know. Branded. Yeah she stole my. God that's some wild shit man what's she gonna do with that vintage toolbox. No it doesn't matter. She sounds like a jilted lover and it doesn't make any sense. You might find like a dirty tampon someplace that you don't even realize. Jesus Christ. If you smell anything in your place it's weird. Oh dude oh don't even talk about it she put like a bag of old food thank you of a dresser so I

couldn't find it until the flies got insane see track down the flies but you think I'm crazy bro you think I'm crazy this is the kind of chick she is yeah yeah I'll tell you right now that sex was fired yeah sometimes you gotta fucking deal with some crazy yeah Yeah. Wow, bro looking for Yeah, it's not so aggressive. I'm trying to find the one where she was She took that toolbox cuz she knew it was special. That's why she did my fucking upstairs, too. That's the whole thing Dude you're probably gonna tell you she's gonna open some random drawer that he hasn't opened in a while There's gonna be a pile of shit in there. Hey, is anybody else kind of scared? I don't want her on my case

I don't want to steal my toolbox Also, I'm having trouble finding like these screenshots they're not immediately apparent I don't want to probably stole your password She's already erased them. You're all good. I followed you if you want to accept that. Oh, my fault. He got really, he got seriously nervous right there. Hell yeah, man. You're dealing with a crazy person. They're in the same network.

I just don't understand how you could gather all your shit, move out of your old place, break your lease or whatever she did, move into another person's place without checking it out really thoroughly or even having a conversation about, Hey, what are, what are the house rules going to be? She moves in and then looks around and is like, yeah, now that I'm here, we have to make some changes.

Well, to be fair, she was like, Hey man, can you read these paintings? He was kind of like, ah, get to it. And then she's like, yo dude. I destroyed them. The banks were all gone. So it was a loss. Okay. Well that doesn't follow. So she still left. Say that doesn't So still left and I'll Say again, and she still left you got rid of the paintings and she left Well, let me ask you this What was it was was the breakup did like why is she so upset? Are we getting the full story here?

My man, I did what did you do? I pulled the cord. I was just like, clearly this is not the match that I thought it was. We've been fighting for like a week and a half. Like, I would say press pause, but it's like we've gone too fast already. Oh, I totally get this now. And then she didn't think you would do that. So she was probably in her mind, like I really love this guy or I think I do.

And then when you like pulled the plug, like rejected her, she went into like full on like, do you see how hot I am mode in her head? I can't believe you're doing this to me with your long ass orangutan arms. And then she was just going in on him. Then she went scorched earth. And then she's trying to attack your character.

That's weird though, man. Oh, yeah. I mean, so like I'm a lawyer. So I'm sure she's going to file some fucking like professional complaint too. But I sent Nick what Well, like you could file like anonymous complaints about lawyers who are like not good upstanding members Oh, we got a reason. So she put a little more neck. What does it say finally finally able to eat more and

And go hard in the gym again that I'm no longer offering it's not as aggressive that's no this is still crazy that I'm no longer offering my all-encompassing submission to a godless succubus making a mockery of a real man oh she's a poet whoa you heard this chick god damn and what's below that, Nick? You can tell her succubus by definition means female. It might come in ways, but gratitude stays. Grateful for my health, which I will never again compromise, no matter how selfishly I might love.

Kiss my ass. Wow, what did you do? Aggressive. She's a poet, bro. Yeah. She went hard, dude. She went hard. And then that picture's cool. From the looks of things, you went hard. Yeah. She went hard, dude, she went hard. And then that picture's cool.

From the looks of things, you went hard. Yeah. We all did. Last day, things have been We're all hard! So, so, so. Nick, I sent you my art account, and in the news, you've been hearing about like,

Tanya slotting into some random chick's DMs. Have you heard about this? No, I have not. Is it her? Is it her? There was a girl I was painting, like, two years ago, who slid into my DMs. Have you heard about this? Uh, no, I have not. Is it her? There was a girl I was painting like two years ago who slid into my DMs. She was like this banging like South American girl with the giant ass and into her DMs and she was going crazy. But all my biggest posts on my Instagram are just like time-lapse videos of me painting this chick, but

that makes sense though. She's talking to Tanya. I bet she's. Guys, I appreciate the advice. I feel less crazy. I do think my shit's gone forever. But hopefully I'll have another like stalker and then explosive relationships. So we have content, dude. You don't end the call. We end the call. Thanks for your time. You're the man. You're going to do to us what you did to her. You don't end the call, we end the call. Thanks for your time. Yeah, you're the man, brother.

Oh, yeah, you're gonna do to us what you did to her? Oh, dude, it's all about time management. I'll see you later, brother. Oh, Eric, you were great at the mothership in Austin, brother. It was a great show, man. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. Appreciate you, big dog. Take it easy. We'll be right back. Music