The Golden Hour - On The Satan Train | The Golden Hour #14 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

The guys talk Brendan's biking incident, why limos aren't in style, Erik opening for Matt Rife, traffic and honking etiquette, all new Rank My Tanks and Sink My Inks, stories of being cheated on, hall passes and much more! DraftKings - Download the DraftKings app and use code GOLDENBlue Nile - https://bluenile.com Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (CO/IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MD/MI/NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Void in OH/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply.   Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 bet. Promo code req. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Free Bets are non-cashable and cannot be withdrawn. Free bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in any returns or winnings. Free Bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Promotional offer period ends 1/29/23 at 11:59:59 PM ET. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/mmaterms.

Now, he'll be like, Dad, what's religion? Right, right, right. What's Jewish? Thank God for Google. I know, I know, I know, I know. I really hope my son doesn't Google me. But yeah, it's just... No, I know.

We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout. Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about. But that won't stop us. Nothing can stop us ooh yeah it's like a show you used to love

just rebranded enough it's stronger, better, bigger power cause it is a golden hour it's the golden hour golden hour little hat, big guy It's the cold new world

Little hat, big guy. Specialized bikes and equipment. Just general as shit. Your hat says specialized bikes and equipment. No, it's the bikes all right, bro. That's why I was late. My chain broke on the trails. You rode your bike here?

15 miles. You rode your bike here? No. You rode your bike and then you took a shower and it was late in your chain no no i didn't shower gross it's not great that's how much i care about you guys let me tell you something i smell like an armenian but that's what he or me and just got done yeah you put too much yeah it's disgusting actually now i realize even chin is like oh even chin is like that's too much. Because you know he sings. Too much. Yeah. He used to do it like this.

Eric looks fancy. That's too much. Wow. Oh, dang. Oh, you've been working on it? Hey, Eric. You've been practicing? We get it.

He can sing. I call Chin and we work on it on the phone. Eric's been doing his mayo, mayo, mayo, mayo, mayo. He's in his ketchup. You have to do that. Eric, you look spiffy today. It's just a spiffy shirt. That's all.

Okay. Can I ask you guysiffy today. It's just a spiffy shirt. That's all. Okay. Can I ask you guys something? Okay. Do you remember when being in a limo was fancy? God, you look like a dork. I remember as a kid being like, you see a limo and you'd be like, oh. Right. Big deal.

It's a big deal. I remember that too. I don't think that's a big deal anymore. Is it that we like, oh. Right. Big deal. It's a big deal. I remember that too. I don't think that's a big deal anymore. Is it that we are in LA now though? No, no, no. I don't know. It's an Uber thing. It's an Uber thing.

Oh, you're right. It's an Uber thing. Can you get Uber XL, like black car? Yeah. Like my girl and her friends were supposed to go to some dinner and she was like, is this weird? Look at this. And she was like, yeah, I'm going to get us a limo.

I'm like, don't do it. Just tell me to meet him there. You don't look like a dork in a limo. Oh, it's not the thing now. Just an old school Lincoln. When did it not be a thing anymore and why? I was thinking about this all the way over here. Uber black car, you look like a baller.

You get that SUV, that Yukon, whatever. People already felt like they were in a Uber, in a limo, but it was a Hyundai Excel sitting in the back. I used to hate that. I would be like, if it's not a limo but it's a hyundai excel sitting in the back i used to hate that i would be like if if if it's not a limo and the uber comes you sit in the front seat okay if that's a hyundai elantra you should be in the front seat you look stupid in the back yeah you know driving around you know you're looking at your phone in the alarm but now because of covid you know you have to sit in the back brent yeah brent moran has a joke about that on stage.

It's funny. Some people don't dig when you go sit in the front. Because we do all the time on tour. But you're in the front like, no. No, but see. Oh, really? Yeah, like. No, no, no, no.

The dude. But see, I find the opposite before, though. Well, not me. Before, because they would be like, yeah, they don't want to feel like a limo driver in their Elantra. So they would be like, I would say, hey, can I sit in the front? They'd be like, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, they like it. Yeah, they like it.

Because now it just looks like two friends driving. There's no way fucking I would sit in the front. I don't know the guy. Then you got to be like. Yeah, then it's weird. I agree. You know what I mean? It's weird.

Incubus comes on. Oh, you like that? I saw it. Oh, yeah, really? I know. One time I was in a Lyft and this dude was playing full on church music. But like the kind of church music that it was really obnoxious. You know, it would be like – it was like, you know, you love Jesus.

Oh, wow. You love Jesus. It was just like – Oh, wow. You love Jesus. It was just like – I was just like, this is too much. Yeah. Like it's like this is too much.

You can ask him to change it though. No, no, but – My preferences? Yeah, but then you feel like an asshole. You're trying to turn the church music off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I actually am on the Satan train. That's a whole different thing.

Hey, I'm an atheist. This is bothering me. I just feel like some of these people, one time this girl, she insulted me. Just like with a straight face face she was like oh yeah you know you look like oh she was like yeah you look like mr potato head on uber oh roast roast and i thought she was joking but the way she did it she just like she was like asperger's or something she had nothing well i tweeted at lyft yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, um, hey, Lyft. I just got roasted.

And then, yeah, you know, and so then. Did Lyft respond back, though? Aren't you a comic? They gave me a free ride. Well, now, dude, let me tell you something. Karen over here. I got a free. Real Karen over here.

Okay, that's fine. But maybe you shouldn't have put the picture up there because you look like. I put it up after I talked about it. Yeah, I got it. Because this is me being a comic. Go fuck off. Bro, I'm joking. But up after because I talked about it. Yeah, I got it. Because this is me being a comic. Go fuck off. Bro, I'm joking. But maybe that's why she got it.

Yeah. No, but this was after though. Oh, word. And Rick got me that because he heard the story. I've never seen that one right there. The one that's my face. Right there.

Left, dude. We totally should have some merch like this. Wow. That's pretty lit. Those within hour cups. Oh, yeah. A cup like that? Yeah.

Well, I don't know, man. I haven't seen a limo in a bit. I haven't ridden in a limo in a bit. I think Vegas was the last time. They're out of business. If you're in Vegas, they pick you up in a limo and shit. Oh, really, bro? I think limos are like Kodak, you know, getting pictures developed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody needs them anymore. Yeah, if you have a Blockbuster membership, you're... Last time I was in Vegas, they picked me up in a limo when you perform at the Mirage and shit. But that was 2019. 2019? Yeah. Oh, 2019?

Yep. Wow. Yeah, but that's... You don't even see them on the street. I don't even count Vegas. Those aren't real limos. When you're in Vegas, it's like, okay, right? But the hotels have limos. But I'm just talking about like you're in Vegas, it's like, okay, right? But the hotels have limos.

But I'm just talking about like you're in LA. No, no, I understand. Yeah. I understand. Well, I remember the first time I got, somebody had a name for me. And it said Eric Griffin, you know? And I was like going to a perform. Yeah.

And the guy's standing there with the Eric Griffin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember the first time being like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny. Oh, you look a bit like Eric Griffin. Now even that's not even special. You go to the airport now and it's just like random, you know? It just says Oh, you're looking for Eric Griffin. Now even that's not even special. You go to the airport now and it's just like random.

It just says Sheila. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just some fat chick who's like, that's me. I'm Sheila. It's like, when did it not become a big deal? I don't know. People in the comments, let me know.

Yeah, it's been a hot second. I remember Hugh Hefner's son. He went to my college at the UFC Colorado. And his dad, Hugh Hefner, he had a Playboy. It was his own thing. He had a driver because they're rich as shit. Had his own limo. Just drive around all of Denver with it.

Had a Playboy bunny sign on the back. Wow. And a driver. Oh, and a driver. Like I was saying, he drove the limo. Yeah. Oh, man. Dude, I'm going to be in San Antonio.

I'm going to be in Sugarland, Houston. I'm going to be in Louisiana. And that's going to be this weekend. So come on out, man. Dude, I'm going to be in San Antonio. I'm going to be in Sugarland, Houston. I'm going to be in Louisiana. And that's going to be this weekend. So come on out, dude. Louisiana, can't wait to be in New Orleans. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, I am going to be.

ChrisLeah.com, baby. This is coming out this Thursday, right? If you're a fan of mine, don't miss these guys. Thursday night. So tomorrow, if you're in Escondido, San Diego area, I'm going to be at the Grand Club. Making up places. Escondido. Grand Comedy Club. But more importantly, not that that's not important. That's great.. I'm going to be at the Grand Club. Making up places. Escondido. Grand Comedy Club.

But more importantly, not that that's not important. That's great. But I'm coming to New York. Oh, I've been there. All right. February 10th at the Bell House. February 10th at Bell House in Brooklyn. One night only.

Get your tickets now. I'll be in New York too at the Beacon Theater. Two shows. February 18th. Okay, man. I'm in Springfield, Missouri. Oh, when are you going to be there? You keep Okay, man. I'm in Springfield, Missouri. Oh, when are you going to be there? You keep talking about this.

This weekend. I'm going to that one, too. Friday and Saturday. Oh, good for you. Blue Room Comedy this Friday, Saturday. I'll be there at night. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Almost sold out.

During the day, I'll be at the Bass Pro shop because they have the biggest aquarium. Oh, let me tell you. I'm going to check out the fish. Oh, not the Tiger Thick thing. No, no. Oh, you're just going. So why are you telling them we're going? Because. They're all going to come? That's where I'm going to check out the fish. Oh, not the Tiger Thick thing. No, no. Oh, you're just going. So why are you telling them we're going? Because.

They're all going to come? That's where I'm going to be during the day. And they're not going to bother the shit out of you, dude. Maybe. Or some smart people come and they have fish that I don't have. And I want their fish. Oh, I see what you're saying. You're so dumb.

Yeah, dude. You're going to have a fish meeting? Yeah, dude. A fish meeting in Springfield. Where is it? Springfield. You're going to have a fish meeting in Springfield? is it springfield you're gonna have a fish meeting and yeah dude some quality people out there you son of a i'm not saying it's there's not quality people there are apparently my show's sold out when i'm there but i'm just saying we

talk fish can we talk sick can we stay on subject does it always have to be about you and your tickets being sold no what i'm just'm sorry I didn't be there. Oh, hey, you know what? Let me tell you how my career is over. Wait, hold on. Your career is over, you said? I'm going to tell you why. March 24th, I'm going to go to The Vet with Matt Rife. Before him, you didn't do the show?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's hilarious. Wait, The Vet is where? My boy Matt, let me tell you, I've known Matt Rife since he was 15 years old. When he first came to L.A., he wanted to be a comic. He stayed on my couch for a month. Love that.

Okay? When he turned 18, he came and stayed for a month to find his way. Now, he's like- He found his way. Huge. He blew up on TikTok. So now he's huge. Handsome bastard.

So he hit me up the other day, and he was like, and he's just being very nice about it. Because I also directed his new special, which is coming out. And he goes, hey, man, you want to come with me to the vet? And I was like, it's over, huh? That's so funny, dude. But I have no ego about it. Where's the vet at? He opened for me for years.

Where's the vet at? It's in Rhode Island. It's in Rhode Island. I'll be there, too, by the way, Chrisley.com. I was like, sure. That's why I brought it up, too, because I saw you were going to be there. So I was like, yeah, I'll come with you you know what i mean because i because i'm like whatever this is like my this is like my little brother you know what i mean i

want him to be famous oh dude well that's because you're a good person like a lot of comments like oh fuck that guy fuck those motherfuckers dude i love this dude yeah yeah everyone should celebrate this yeah and they're gonna fucking hate on him because he's handsome and he's fucking the only reason he's selling tickets because he's good then bro. No the guys good by the way the guys good. He's funny. He's working on talent He's funny. That's cool Anyway, also props to him for bringing you to open for him because you're gonna fucking but that shows you how much I'm gonna try to bury it. Yeah, dude. That's what good comics do. That's why he's doing it. I want to get fired Yeah, yeah, but that's what you want. But fair enough, though.

I remember when you would go before me in, what was it, Brea? Yeah, yeah. I'm like, this motherfucker, bro. Nightmare. Nightmare. Fallen here, nightmare. But that's the thing, though, because you get big, and then you don't want to work hard. A lot of comedians didn't want to work hard.

Bro, I want the motherfucking hardest kill before me. to work hard bro i want the motherfucking hardest kill before me because if i'm not able to reset the room i ain't shit bro i ain't shit fires me up bury me yeah but you know the thing is the thing is like but here's the thing about it it doesn't matter because they're there for you very true it does it does matter though because a lot of big-name comics will go. They get success, and then they sandbag. So people are like, that show sucked. I mean, Matt was good, but the rest of the show sucked. No, no, this is what they'll say.

This is what they'll say. I'm telling you right now, man. They won't remember. Let's say I go, and I fucking destroy, right? They're going to say this. That dude that went before Matt Rife was funny. Right. They're still going to say him.

But. But. It doesn't matter. You cross so hard though. It's not like you're some newcomer. No, no, no. Oops. This has already happened.

This has already happened. I understand. He did a show in the main room. That dude sold out two shows in the main room on a Wednesday. Anyway. That's good. So my boy sent me a message from a girl that she was like, hey, I went to the Matt Rife show.

And she goes, it's such a funny interaction. She's like, yeah, the dude before him was really funny. And she was trying to describe me. She was like, yeah, he looked like he was like human. He looked like middleman but not as fat. It was very insulting.

But the whole point was, she was like, that guy was very funny. What I'm saying is they're only going to remember the person that name is on the ticket. I disagree. However. Not some new kid. No, you're right, but you have to, as a comic who's known, you have to bring good people to open for you. Because these bitch-ass comics, they won't do it. And here's what happens.

you because these bitch ass comics they won't do it and here's what happens the the show they might be like the guy who opened for the guy is funny i don't know his name i know the guy though but over time you lose your footing oh yeah that's on you no i understand but that happens when you don't bring monsters in front of you let's take a little break boys yeah dude seriously i'm exhausted it's hard doing that podcast sometimes. Oh, my God, dude. I wish, you know what? We need to take a break and watch some NBA basketball and make bank, bros. Yeah, yeah.

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Only at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA with code GOLDEN. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. Void in Ohio. See show notes for details. Valentine's Day. It's coming up, isn't it? So much stress. What am I going to do? Well, it means romance is in the air more than usual. And I don't need to tell all you lovebirds that. notes for details valentine's day oh it's coming up isn't it so much stress what am i gonna do

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They said pick two things out. I picked out two diamond rings in rose gold, one for my mother-in-law, one for my girl. They came. Dude. Those are the ones you showed me. They're beautiful. They're really are beautiful. They're amazing. They like oh my god i'm like yeah and that's

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BlueNile.com. 50% off? But it's like correlated to fighting. It's like you want to train with the toughest guys in the room. You want to follow your rounds. You want the toughest rounds in practice because when you get to the fight, it's easier. So you could pussyfoot your way and make sure all the sparring rounds are easy. But then you're not ready for when you get to the show.

So these comics bring these bitch-ass comics. I opened for a guy, well-known, I'll tell you off the air. Well-known. One kid, I'm like, how long have you been doing it? He's like, oh, I just did my first open mic last week. I'm like, and you're going before me? He's like, yeah. I'm like, holy shit, bro.

And this guy's high level. Yeah. Other guy, what are you on? He's like, I haven't done stand-up in 10 years. Oh. What? Oh, wow. Yeah, dude. I mean, I don't know. You know, I get't done stand-up in 10 years. Oh. What? Oh, wow. Yeah, dude.

I mean, I don't know. You know, I get you don't want to work too hard. You want to be – like, people are insecure, too, but like – That's the thing. Yeah. But, bro, I just – I don't know, man. I'm just drowning in insecurity. Crazy.

Crazy. But Rogan was the blueprint for this for a long time. Like, he brought Joey Diaz on the road with him. He brought Sakura, Burt Kreischer. Savages. Savages forever. And then even Dave Chappelle is like, the reason I bring Darnell Rawlings to open for me every time,

he's the toughest follow. Don L is, and he won't do it. He knows, too. No, I know. I like that. He can't. He can't not do it. No, Darnell Rawlings, dude,

there's some guys you just don't want to follow, man's just too hard diaz main room joey diaz uh donnell i mean fucking eric can be like that honestly it's just it's well that's why on twitter someone's like man eric i forget where you're at like he was great i think i'm like he's one of the best doing it. Yeah, I know. Come see me February 10th. See that energy though. I know. No, I'm just saying. It is what it is. I always had to fight. It's like if all the comics are saying it.

I always had to fight for my right to party because you do. But I'm saying I'm not the cutest dude in the room. If I was as funny. No, you room. Like if I was as funny – No, you're cute. If I was as funny as some of these handsome comics that are doing it, I would be working at UPS.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I literally have to be funny. It's a whole package. I get it. And honestly, Matt has the whole package. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

But there is a part of it that people – But the best part, he's a good dude. I'm just saying people go – He's not an asshole. This is how I knew. This is how I knew. This is how I knew. I was like, I had to be funny because I was at the Laugh Factory one night. And I'm going to say the two comics that were on the show, you know, Chris and Dane.

And then I heard these girls at their show, and this is what they were saying about, oh, my God. Those guys were so hot. That's what they say. I never get that i always get he was funny yeah so yeah i have to do that yeah imagine if you get that but dude i fucking leveled the room so don't fucking don't act like i don't level the room hey also don't get me wrong chris is chris is cool looking he's not true true he's not it's not like sometimes i don't even get it yeah if i'm being honest you know what it's the mystery that draws great Sometimes I don't even get it If I'm being honest

You know what It's the mystery That draws people in I don't even get it When I hear a girl say that I go what I mean I want to pull up a picture

And show me You know what I am Hold on I'm a puzzle bro Ruben's cute You look at the puzzle You're like Fuck this

I'm going to finish it Yeah That's it dude I'm going to finish it. Yeah. That's it, dude. I'm looking for the corners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck this fucking shit. And then look, and then fuck this. Oh, man.

I got a piece. I got a piece. Next thing you know, you're buying puzzle merch. I'm a puzzle. I'm a connect four. You know, it's just. You just. Bro, you. You know what I mean?

It's just. The big one, dude. The big one. Connect eight. You know what I mean? The big one, dude. The big one. Connect eight. I'm a puzzle of a bunch of dogs in baskets, dude. Bro, you bring in Matt Rife in this room and you put him between us? We all look like shit, though. We ain't shit compared to that kid.

Was he dating Kate Beckinsale for a second? Yeah. He was like 13. I know. She was fucking. Let's cancel her. All right, dude. Enough. Whoa, whoa.

Enough talking about him, dude. He's going to have a ban on cuter comics being spoken about. This guy was the guy who was in the park, and there were a lot of birds, and he had an update about. Oh, right. Wait, what was it? He was in Australia, right, at a dog park? Has he been living in the park since then? Oh, no, remember?

Yeah, really. He was setting up a workout, remember? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Great period. Hey, guys, it's me again. Jesus.

I was not sure about that last video where you said there were a lot of birds in the That's annoying. It's so fucking bullshit. It's not even that noisy. Anyway, I just wanted to clear it up. Brennan, thanks for thinking. I look like that close. We can't even hear the guy.

That's why I put that. He's had an orgy with a centaur in the back of a Louis Vuitton warehouse. Anyway, cheers. So his video was not about birds, but they were in the background. And we were like, what's with all the birds? And we can't even hear him. He he was mad at me i said something about it was hilarious no but dude in australia you know he showed his dog and all those birds cut back to all those birds picking that dog up and taking it someplace you know these do you

they don't fuck around in australia you can kind of see them here in the back there's like a huge birds dude yeah this is thing of birds but uh he said you said something but i couldn't fucking understand him and you can't hear uh he said i look like a centaur and louis vuitton bunches the same you know look like that bird uncle who's uncle fucking bunch of spot he's had an orgy with the centaur and i think he's talking about himself he's talking about He's talking about what? I'll tell you something right now In his mind

That was a roast A banger, yeah You know what I mean? It wasn't so bad I mean, the birds are laughing Just the way he delivered it to you Yeah You look like you're in a

Louis Vuitton warehouse With a bird You know, he's just walking With a centaur on your back Centaur, the orgy Clear it up, man I said he looks like Who's uncle? With a centaur on your back. Centaur. Now, ooh, gee. Clear it up, man. I said he looks like whose uncle? Like the Duck Dynasty uncle, maybe?

Oh, maybe. Maybe. I don't know. I throw so much shade. I don't know. We'd have to watch it again. We can't hear him. Well, let's not.

Yeah, we're done with this. We've seen this guy. Oh, it's Morgan Wallen. We've seen him. He's got good topics. He did Unpack or Not Pack Right When You this guy. Oh, it's Morgan Wallen. We've seen him. He's got good topics. He did unpack or not pack right when you get one. Oh, yeah, good one. What's up, guys?

I got another question. Nick, thanks for putting me on lately. It's pretty funny to watch myself get roasted. And Chris, I'll be seeing you this weekend in New Orleans. ChrisLeah.com. I got COVID. Good, good, good. I'm going to give in New Orleans. ChrisLeah.com. I got COVID. Good, good, good. Bring it, bring it.

But I got a quick question. What's like the longest, like say you're at a light, what's the longest amount of time to wait before you just lay on the board? Oh, two seconds. If you're behind somebody and it's green and they don't go, do you give them two seconds?

Four seconds? You can tell they're on their phone. It just happened to me and I'm curious. This is how I go. Chris, see you this weekend. Green light. It goes like this. Green light. But it's not an asshole like, eh.

I give him a little. Oh, yeah, yeah. Now, that's important. I go. That is important. It is important. I wave. You give people a honk.

And that means like, hey, man. But if you. I just lean out the window and I go, honk. And that's just your nose. Do they do anything? He doesn't even move his mouth. He just goes like. No. Let's see. Let He doesn't even move his mouth. He just looks at me and I go, hmm.

No, let's see. Let me count it out. Hold on. Let me do a snap for the light. I'll do green light. Ready? Do the snap. Green light. Wait, hold on.

Let me put myself in this situation here. Hold on. I'm not ready yet. Hold on. This is why he's not an actor. No, this is why I am a fucking killer. Watch how good I do it. Watch.

Here we go. Ready? Okay. Hold on. Let me put myself in this situation there. The car's there. It's Watch. Here we go. Ready. Okay. Hold on. Let me put myself in this situation there. The car's there. It's red. Okay.

Go ahead. Green light. Two seconds. Yeah, that's fine. Two seconds. Good. I'm the same. Do it again.

Do it again. Do it again. Green light. You know, I wait a little longer. I wait a little longer. Too long. First of all, my eyes aren't closed. Okay.

And then when I look, here's how you know. They're always on their phone. No, no, no. That's what I'm saying. Always on their phone. Brenton. Brenton. Dude. too long first of all my eyes aren't closed okay and then when i look here's how you know they're always on their phone no no that's what i'm always on the phone dude chrisley.com you get these fair fair price fair price focus you're supposed to be looking yeah if you look through the you see the person and if you see like you know there's like a hair oh then you go right away that's what I'm saying. You know, cause I can anticipate like,

Oh, this motherfucker's not gonna see the green light. But if their person is just like, you know, they're just there. Maybe they're like space cadets. Maybe what's going on. Do they see something?

I don't see either a dog or whatever. Then you wait. But if you see some nonsense going on, like if the driver's giving road head, I'm looking at the other light. I see it go yellow. Oh, shit. I'm like this. He's gangster.

I'm about to lay in. What was that movie with Russell Crowe where he got real mad that he honked at him and then he just murdered everybody in her family? You made that movie up. Nope. Real movie. It's such a good movie. So special.

Brendan, fact check. We need like some music for it. Russell Crowe, and he's heavy. Unhinged. Oh. So she honked the fuck out of him. He goes, could you have just done a courtesy honk? By the way, did you see that there's like actual real guy like this right now, and he

just got arrested finally? Yeah, you're looking at me. No, no. He's called the Tesla road rage guy. Oh, I did see that. Yeah. He's like just, yeah. There it is right there.

Look, Tesla road rage guy. Is there anything gayer than getting upset and you're driving a Tesla? Yeah, and he was like stopping in the middle of traffic on the freeway, getting out with a crowbar and banging on people's cars. Look, here he is right here. It's because it's Tesla. This is like multiple times he would do it? Yeah.

The man seen in video after video smashing cars with a pipe is now under arrest. Eyewitness News reporter Leanne Suter live with new details on the driver and what people are saying about it tonight. Leanne. Can you even imagine? To be arresting the 36-year-old yesterday at a Torrance car wash. I wish a motherfucker would.

I will tell you, that made me think of another. Don't do that. You're already in a Tesla what I made that made me think of another thing is how long

would you wait at a red light if you're the first one there right say you're the only one there how long would you wait at a red light that isn't changing

oh I run them all the time no no no you wait till one cycle yeah I just did this I did it too I just did this. I did, too.

I just did it. It was unbelievable, dude. Yeah, and it was just like, here's how I knew. It was like, you know what light's terrible? It's that one going to the laugh factory. Let's say you're on Sunset, and you're making a left onto that street. So the laugh factory's here, and you're making that. A Laurel.

Laurel. You have to pass all those lights. Dude, no, no, no, no. It's because you have to turn left on lines No no no It's because it's a It's a You have to turn left On the green arrow Yeah yeah yeah Dude

Laurel and Ventura Is that way too That's the one I just ran Yeah you just go I'm going Well the cops come in There he is Oh god no I'm sorry

You feel like a rebel too When you run it Feels good I'm just like dude How long I'm like You know what I mean Try to get

Where we go We're doing this Let's do it And then just meet me Yeah it's always just you And then my For some reason You're in a golf cart

Yeah yeah Made up on here In my head I'm always like Oh they're fucking with me Oh they're fucking with me I wait There's

Actually you have An internal clock There's an internal clock Where you go I've been sitting here Too long It's time to go. I was there for minutes, bro.

You know what's the difference between me? It's the difference between here and New York. Part of me was like, I want to be like, how long is this going to go? Go ahead. No, I know you're right. LA and New York, especially like jaywalking and stuff like that. Here in LA, we stop at a light. No one's even coming and we're just kind of like, all right, we got to wait.

In New York, man, no one gives a fuck. I know. Bro, in New York, you can walk by someone's car and be like, what the fuck, and smack it. And the other guy would just be like, ah! And then that's it. That's the whole exchange. Well, New York. In LA?

Oh, dude. Oh, my God. In LA, if that happens happens You look and you're like I don't even have a gun But it's right here And you just spray someone with it Well New York Don't they have those bumpers

Like the rubber bumpers To parts So they can bash into the cars How many times in New York You walk by And you just see a car That looks like It was just born there

Because it's just You're like How did they get this in there They got a good spot No no The problem is They were there And the other people Pulled up like Fuck this guy there because it's just you're like how did they get this in they got a good spot no no the problem is they were there and the other people pulled up like sometimes yeah fuck this sometimes yeah and then they just go no you're not getting out of here sometimes but that's why that the bumper

they put those those rubber things out yeah yeah yeah you really want to talk about these bumpers did you like create them or something you run a business yeah all right are you trying to know the guy no i only i only got a soft pitch. No, I own the company. It's a soft pitch. It's because the bowling bumpers are like, they went out of business. When you get the bumpers, it comes a bottle of Tiger Thick. God damn it. What else you got? Oh, this guy's beard.

Look at this guy's beard. Good beard today, dude. Hey, boys. Dan from Ontario, Canada here. A lot of baby talk on the show lately. Dali, I know you're having your second. Congrats. Thanks, bud.

My lovely wife is due at the end of March. Nice. And I need some advice. My dad told me he has some buddies that went down and witnessed the delivery and freaked him right out. Seeing the fried butterfly in that state, couldn't get it out of their head. My buddy, on the other hand, witnessed his wife give birth and said it was beautiful and gained a ton of respect and more love for her yeah yeah so let me know what you think staying above or below the

equator in the delivery room above boys above i was above above above i i here's the thing hold on real quick did your girl do a uh c-section or no she, she had a. Gangster. Yeah. Gangster. Dude, and I will tell you this. I was. So I was. We have technical difficulties. So I was above and I was above and I think I wanted to be above I don't remember really but she was like

I do not want you down there and I was like you know like one of those say no more fam memes because you know and I get the whole respect

and shit but I respect that it's happening anyway and I can imagine that it's respectful down there I know what that's about though you know what I'm saying I think Rachel will be like that you know knock on wood see it she wouldn't want me yeah yeah that it's respectful down there. I know what that's about, though. You know what I'm saying? I think Rachel will be like that. See it?

She wouldn't want me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not sexy. No, because she doesn't even like when I... Why even say it's not sexy? It's not sexy when you're seeing it. No, but that's what it's about. Some girls shit, dude.

Because they're pushing so hard. Can I finish what I'm trying to say here? I don't know. We got him here. Jesus Christ, dude. She doesn't like... If she's clipping a chin here, she's like, don't look at me. So I don't think she wants me to see her pussy being destroyed.

My girl had a C-section. That's even worse. That's even worse. She doesn't even, you know, I can't imagine her. Like the fucking alien is like. God damn it, dude. Yeah. I'm sure Calvin came out like this. Like the fucking alien is like. I'm sure Calvin came out like this. Calvin had a book.

Am I up? He came out like, hmm, shit. Come on. I'm fucking reading. Is that Andromeda strain? What is that? No baby's cute when they come out. Calvin came out with 1984. No baby's cute, though.

I don't give a fuck. I'm sure you thought Calvin's great. I know you say that. No kids are cute when they come out. I don't agree. They all look like fucking aliens. I know you say that. I don't agree.

I think that. You didn't even see, though. What do you mean? No, he's saying the day they're born, no kids are cute. No babies are cute. You're like, okay, here we go. He's saying babies don't get cute until oh you hand it to you you're like who the fuck's baby no i know i like purple i when i saw calvin did you see this by the way so funny so fucking funny did you see it play it for eric i don't see this play forever so funny

but make the volume it's on silent on the bottom right, dude. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. There we go. Now play it. It was going. Okay.

Calvin, do you want this Dear Black Child? No, I like this. Okay, well, then you're racist. So you're racist. I like this. Calvin. No, this. Well, you could do both.

No, I like this. No, you don't like this. No, I like this. Well, you can do both. No, I like this. No, you don't like this. No, I like this. Yeah, you're racist. He's racist. Who's film? Calvin. Calvin, I have something for you.

What? You want this? Yeah. You actually like this? Yeah. Oh, so you're willing to... It's called Good Night Racism. Yeah.

Oh, good. You want to get the book good night racism oh you do oh that's very sweet okay we'll get it for you cut to I didn't really my son really and pick him up okay he's just saying yes so if you go back cut to there's another video where Chris is going okay He's just saying yes, so if you go back Cut to there's another video where Chris is going Daddy there's a guy who doesn't have kids that would never follow instructions No, if I do like today he'd run away and just be like no i'm not doing that it just looked like the way he was the way he was doing it he looked like he was like looking at the it kind of looked like he was on snl and he was looking at things he was looking at the teleprompter like this and the camera's here and he was like yeah dad i want that book You had to buy that book, though? I bought it.

Because I didn't think it was right. He immediately returned it. No, I bought it. I'll tell you what I did. Well, first of all, I was in Portland, which is hilarious that they have that book, right? Of course that Portland does. I know, but it's just hilarious that Portland is so Portland. Yeah, yeah.

Portland is really being Portland out there. That's the name of the bookstore. So Portland. That T-Rex was lit, though. Yeah, it was. So it was. It was a dino T-Rex. Anyway, a dino bot T-Rex was lit, though. Yeah, it was. So it was. It was a dino T-Rex.

Anyway, a dino bot T-Rex. Whatever. It doesn't matter. So it had a wheel on the bottom. Anyway, it's a puppet. Anyway. Can I buy that? My, I haven't got to charge you extra tax, but yeah.

I can totally see Calvin, you know. Yeah, he was doing it. Just doing it. Yep. Da-da. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that book, I got it, and then I put it in my bag because i was like i'm not gonna not buy it it's shitty if i'm talking about it and not buying it and i'm like maybe

it'll be good to have i don't know and so i read so he was like can you read me book that book and i was like sure i read him the book in the in the hotel room dude the book is a bullshit but of course i know but like i'm like by the way, it's like, there's no arc, bro. It's like the fucking... It starts out with like, everyone of every creed, color, and religion should always be accepted. Everyone is this, that. It doesn't matter what your

makeup or this or that. Every page I'm trying to... It's like, okay. And then at the end it was like, goodnight, racism. And I'm like, the fuck? I left in the hotel room. It's amazing. Probably the most racist thing ever yeah just like have it start like you know what american history acts a great movie dude the guy started out race make it fucking like oh you know give it an art yeah give us a curb oh my god give it an art yeah start out a neo-nazi start out with a kirby there's a hotel room in portland it has like old shoes yeah and a life rip hoodie and good night racism good night racism and some old shoes

and the housekeeper's like i don don't know. The most Portland fucking. Yeah. Yeah. But like have an arc. That would be about a little baby neo-Nazi that like, you know. Aren't all kids books dumb? Yeah. Some are better than others. Good point.

Some are better than others. Good point. Oh, the show's dumb? Super dumb. But is there an arc in, you know, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da in you know that that that that that that that it's like there's no arc in any of this stuff but uh calvin goes to school like pre-school pre-k he does like you know i mean the the most basic shit they just like do art and blocks and stuff is he there from like nine to three or no

no he's there from like nine to you know 11 or somewhere yeah oh Oh, that's early for that. It is, yeah. But bro, Calvin is, dude, the guy said the other day, he says, can I ask you a general question? I'm out.

He's two. You better check his head for the sixes. You said, I'm out. Dude, he's two. He's not even three yet. Yeah, some weird shit. He heard that someplace. Yeah, well, I'm out. Dude, he's two. He's not even three yet. Yeah, some weird shit.

He heard that someplace. Yeah, well, I mean, of course. But it made sense because he was like, oh, this is how you get somebody's attention. Yes. Like, he's retaining, like, oh, if you say it like this, people will listen to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids are fucking, dude. Wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's him. What the fuck? What happened? It whoa, whoa. That's him. This is the fucking – What the fuck? What happened? It's Damien. That's hilarious. But Chris, wait until he gets older. Like Tiger is six now.

He'll be like, Dad, what's religion? Right, right, right. What's Jewish? You're like, God, thank God for Google. I know, I know, I know, I know. I really hope my son doesn't Google me. But yeah, it's just – No, I know.

But it's – No, I know. It's crazy. it's crazy he says hey i got a general question yeah yeah wow my son said dad i'm gonna start a reddit account what do you think of that like please don't but please don't yeah dude i um yeah i yeah that is interesting though like like like or how about like has has your son said like what what happens when we die or something yet or does he know he says he says he'll go is there a god his new thing is what's it like being a grown-up well you'll be able to deal with that has psoriasis you'll be able to deal with death by just being like with your dumb fish. Oh, yeah.

Oh, bro. Fish are nightmares. No. Every time a fish dies, he draws a picture and puts it on his wall. So all these pictures, you know, shit happens. Oh, no. That hurts dad's feelings. Do you bury them?

Do you have a funeral? In the toilet. You didn't go to the fish funeral for him? I was there. Chris, would you like to say a few words? I didn't really know Flappy too well, but he had a big brain. Looked like he had a big brain. I don't really know what these fish do.

Chin was there. How do I say goodbye? Chin's cooking him. Is that too old? This is terrible, but he tastes delicious. The wake is sushi. My favorite hoodie. That hoodie is lit. It's really lit.

Just be... Name a better piece of merch from a comic or podcaster. Than that? Fire and Kid. It's good. Eight years ago. That's very good, yeah.

I remember that jacket. Turn around, let me see it. I think I gave you one. No, you gave me a green one. Where's our golden hour merch? We start with the green one, yeah. I remember that jacket. Turn around, let me see it. I think I gave you one. No, you gave me a green one. Where's our golden hour merch? We started with a green one, yeah. Yeah, it was a green one. All right, where's the golden merch?

I know. Oh, that's nice. And we should make gold jackets. Oh, say less. That would be fucking cool. Say less. With the shiny material. Yeah.

Like a bomber jacket. Yeah, they're gold. Like this. Bomber jackets? No. You want varsity? I said shiny shiny I don't want varsity I want the old fighter and the kids ones were shiny the green the army green ones this is the exact same jacket dude okay I'm not talking about that stupid I'll show you what I'm talking about I have a jacket like that at home I want one with the fluffy you want like oh you want to... Not that. No, we don't want to be gay.

Well, I kind of like to be gay, but... Yeah, I'm down. That one, up, up, up, up, up. No, not shiny like that. Is that Versace? I have that jacket. Wow. No, not like that. Like that.

Go back. What was that? No, that... I'm thinking like San Francisco 49ers. Yeah, like the old school jackets, like the starter jackets. Yeah, just like that. Damn, $335. That's a good deal.

What is that? That's just a corporate casuals. That's it right there. That's what you got to do. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's cool. With a patch going on right there. Oh, we should all wear them.

That'd be awesome. All right, what's up with this? Oh, it would be so cool. That'd be cool. I want to get one. I'm on it. All right. What's up, Brendan, Chris, and Eric?

Before I get rushed up for wearing these orange-ass glasses, I just want to let you know why I have them. So I have them so you can see my tank. So this is a Rank My Tank. So this is my 20-gallon coral reef tank. You need the glasses? A bunch of different corals, two clownfish. What is it, 3D?

So you can see all the stuff that's growing. But the cool thing about a coral tank is, turn on the night lights. Yeah. Like this. Ah. Everything kind of glows a little bit. Why is, why the glasses?

That's it. Oh, he was showing us to see the glasses. But why do you need the glasses to see the tank? Because you're stupid. When he goes neon? When he goes neon with it? Because you're stupid and you need things to like make it better. Here's what I have to say about that guy's video.

I don't know if he needs glasses. Here's what I have to say about that guy's video. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Look, I love you, bro. I love that you're rocking the hoodie. You look great.

Okay. Yeah, this is like he might as well have said like he was doing dungeons and dragons or something yeah and he was like okay so then we roll the dice and we're just like this honestly cool honestly do you think that would have been more interesting the dungeons and dragons i'd be like it's crazy you like this game what's it all about this is just looking at fish and by the way it's like if you're gonna show us your fish tank yeah i mean yeah 20 20 gallons is small make it in the wall make it a little better i saw no fish i didn't even there was like two fish in there yeah and like a really weird pipe that looked like the filter of weird look you know

what i mean like a toilet pipe or something you said rank my tank? Hey, zero. He thought we were going to roast the glasses. Like, bro. The kid's tank. You know your tank is shitty when you have to put on 3D glasses to make it shit. Also, dude, put it up. It's in the middle of the room, dude. It's like not even up against the wall, bro. Yeah, I'm not with this tank.

Zero. I appreciate the submission. I appreciate the submission. And those saltwater tanks are bees to get wall, bro. Yeah, I'm not with this tank. Zero! I appreciate the submission. I appreciate the submission. And those saltwater tanks are a beast to get done, too. That's the thing. It's a lot of work. So I get why he did 20 gallons. It's a beast.

Now, is your boy looking at a 500-gallon tank? Yeah, I am. You have 500? No, I'm about to buy one. I have 100. How big is that? It's the wall. He's going to be in it.

Dude, in it. Just like this. Or he'll just get dumb stuff done like his front door will be like a thin fish tank. You can see through. Leave the package there. Oh, there you are. There you are. That's me. There you are. Oh, that's me.

There you are, Brendan. Someone did that with AI art. Holy shit. What is that? It's AI art. No way. Of Brendan? Yeah, they just typed it.

They described it. They're like, tattooed man, short hair, tank. Goddamn. Brendan, that makes you want to work out and be a little bit better with your hair, huh? Yeah. I mean, I could do that here. Also, he's leaning on a ledge that isn't there, which is great. And by the way, how sucky would it be to be that fish?

That tank's too small for that fish. Oh, my God. You need at least 500 gallons. The fish just goes. You can't even turn around? Yeah, it just goes. Like, fuck off, man. And look, there's other ones, too, in the bottom.

The whole thing sucks. Wow. Did you see that? I have on my story this, like, guy's in the water and a shark just almost bites his head off. Oh, I posted that on Twitter. Isn't this shit crazy? He's just chilling. What is it?

It's a tiger shark, dude. Just goes, whoosh. I mean, it is a huge fucking shark, man. Tiger shark. Where and what? He's just in the ocean being stupid. He's chilling and it's, like, murky waters and you see a tiger shark. Just white guy stuff.

Oh, really? White guy stuff for sure. I had fish and they kept fucking and there were 35 fish in there there look this is it yep watch all murky look he's all what's up fam everything boop oh tiger shark yeah dude this is my he's all hey how's everything i mean that's your worst fear that could be in your head like you're in well this lets you know that sharks aren't just like trying to eat people because. Because this shark could have been like, what is... Well, we don't know how it ended. What is this guy doing?

He could have looped back around. That's just him feeling him out. Bro, look, Eric Griffin liked it. That's hilarious. Dude. No, there's another one where this girl is literally about to... She's on a boat with the stairs. And she's about to get in the water.

And a big-ass shark just goes like that. Yeah, dude. No. Yeah, and she was like, oh, shit, you know? Like a great white opens his mouth? Yeah, yeah, dude. Dude. Yeah.

Dude. It's all cannonball, you know? I don't know if this is it. That one. Either way, that's scary, too. But it's just like, what are you talking about? Dude, I saw this movie called Maneater last night with Shane West and Nicky Whelan. I like Shane West.

Yeah, I like Shane a lot. He's in Wax. What's that? I'm sorry. House of Wax. Oh, yeah, he is. Yeah, he is. Great movie.

Oh, did you watch the last episode of The Last of Us? Not yet. Not yet. I almost saw the pilot. You were crying, huh? Yeah, all right. You know. All right.

Were you not crying? All right. It was really You know. All right. Were you not crying? All right. It was really well done. All right. It was so well done. Like, at first, I told my girl. Earmuffs. Earmuffs.

No, come on, bro. Hold on. Are you even going to watch it? At first, I told my girl. It's the pilot, so I'm just not caught up yet. At first, I told my girl. I went, I guarantee you HBO's going to do their woke agenda. It's going to be a huge gay love relationship.

I was like, I'm so over this show. I'm not watching anymore, blah, blah, blah. I'm watching. I'm like, ah. And then she looks over at one tear, and she's crying. I was like, gay or not, that is the best episode I've ever seen. It doesn't matter, gay or not. Everyone wants to complain this gay agenda.

Whatever. That was so well written. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Are you guys serious, dude? Have a podcast about HBO Max. I can do gay. I can do gay. As long as it's written give a fuck. No, no, no. I don't give a fuck. Baby Shark. Are you guys serious, dude? Have a podcast about HBO Max. I can do gay. I can do gay.

As long as it's written like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's no agenda there. Yeah, yeah. I agree. Just make it make sense. Like the movie Bros. Just be good.

Exactly. Yeah, dude. Nobody gives a fuck about gay or not. It's just don't push the agenda. Yeah. Yeah. Come on out. You know what I mean?

Come on out. Oh, God. Because I got a little... Alex Jones. Yeah. Yeah. You push me, dude. Yeah. If you out. You know what I mean? Come on out. Oh, God. Alex Jones. Yeah. Yeah, you pushed me, dude. If you had the agenda, and if I could smell the agenda. If you could see, my thing is this. If you can see and feel the diversity meeting.

Yeah. If you can see the diversity meeting. I'm out. It's like what you said about Ghostbusters when there's like an Indian woman in Springfield, Missouri. You're like, where the fuck did she come from yeah yeah dude in la okay i was like what town is that in oklahoma but did you has this type of like diversity eric did you play the video game ever because i did i guess in the last of us yeah i don't like scary because even in the video game i guess they hint there's a gay relationship so it's not hbl didn't go like

over the top they just wrote it well. Yeah, yeah. That's really good. I have information about that. I've played it, but okay. Talk to Eric about it. You played the game? Jesus fucking... He has a Twitch account. I played the fucking game and I said it nine times. We were talking to Eric about it and you didn't listen to me. You beat it? No, I played it for one

day. I saw basically the pilot episode. I played the pilot episode. So stupid. Why are you so fucking stupid? That's my brand. Oh, my God. Go ahead.

All right, here we go. This guy looks AI. Hey, boys. Blaine here in Oklahoma City. Just sending you a quick sync. My ink. I was watching the video last week, and Brendan was talking about how bad the leg sleeve is. Completely agree.

It's by far the worst thing I've done done currently doing the full right side of my body so i've done the hand the nipples the shoulder the elbows but nothing compares to how bad my kneecap was wow even behind the kneecap both sessions been about eight and a half hours a piece that's it first one i got sick um so uh body shakes fever sweat what pretty much fucking miserable but again i don't have time in 40 seconds to show you everything so i sent nick a couple pictures gang gang buzz buzz sore whoop whoop brendan take a fucking day off yeah that is cool though i mean it does look cool god that artwork is sick how about those how about those cheeks hanging down? Oh, yeah. Nice. You notice the smile?

See them cheeks? I mean, that has to hurt up top there. He's from Oklahoma or what? I can't do it. That work is so dope. How do you? Is it worth it, that pain? I think it's worth it.

It's cool, dude. I'm going to get more. I'm getting more. You going on the front? Come February. You going on the front? Daddy going front? I don't Look

Just come February dude I want to look different Yeah It's going to be different I'm excited for it You make me want to get neck tattoos I'm not You know

Let me tell you something The neck tattoos come in The front shit You going front? But that's not what I'm That's not But that's not what I'm Are you going to tattoo

A smaller forehead On your forehead? Okay Are you going to go face? Eric That's not what I'm that's not but that's not what I'm are you going to tattoo a smaller forehead on your forehead okay are you going to go face Eric that's not no Eric

please listen I've thought about getting something here a smaller forehead I've thought about getting something here

so it would look like a what I want to get is no I will end up getting the front neck. I'm not saying that that's what I'm doing this month. I'm not. But I'm going to get some tattoos this month. So just be ready for that.

Who's going to do it? My boy Devin Manna does it. He does... Dude, the guy's fucking phenomenal. He did my triceratops one, the elevator one. Is that all he's done so far? Yeah. He's so good, dude. My boy Chido Vera finished his back and he's done so far? Yeah. He's so good, dude.

My boy Chido Vera finished his back and he had cartoon do it. Yeah. Wow. Six year waiting list. Wow. Six years?

I don't believe that. He's so expensive. Devin Manning, look at this dude. Look at how good he is. He's just basic stuff, huh? He's so good. You know what I'm saying?

Like the clean, like. That's incredible right there. Yeah., like. That's incredible right there. Yeah. But like. Dude, that cow is lit. Honestly. You're like somebody with better knees, though. Go down.

My elevator, my elevator that he did is the best. I think it's the best thing. Yeah, question. Does he just do whites? Well, that's how you see it. This is black and white. Not a lot of variation there, is there? This is black and white. This is black and white.

Yeah, yeah. You're down there someplace? Somewhere, probably. I don't know. Oh, that one girl had her titties out. Well, that's what they, they get away with that because they're doing tattoos, you know. I don't think they get away with it.

He's phenomenal. Yeah. He's so good. I'm going to flag that account. Anyway, yeah. His waiting list is crazy too, but. Yeah, if they're good, it's a while.

You'll get it. It's a while. Okay. Okay. Doing the Lord. What's up, Golden Hour? Singing. waiting list is crazy too but yeah if they're good it's a while yeah you get it that's a lot okay okay doing the lord golden hour singing i love y'all show i watch y'all every single week driving probably not too safe but hey you gotta do it for the golden hour singing how do y'all deal with turning off work mode and going into dad mode when you get home? Me, I work basically 9 to 5 in the military. Well, 6 to 5. Come home.

And shooting everything up. That door is dad mode. Yes, sir. So how do y'all make that switch and deal with the pressure and just try to keep a happy home. Peaceful. What do y'all think about that? Woo woo woo! Yeah. We love it.

Wow. And he's on the front lines. Let's hope so. Let's hope he's not fucking running the nukes. The new codes. I hope you do. What running the nukes. Yeah. The new codes. What,

what do you do, Chris? Uh, I don't even think about it. Yeah. I mean, I, I, I do.

Um, I don't know. I don't, I don't really think about it. I leave my phone upstairs. So I don't have to deal with it. Cause my phone's around. Like you have all the tags,

emails, people hitting you up. Um, I see my phone upstairs and on the weekends, hard to, hard to get them. Hard to get what you. Yeah. Yeah with problems. I see my phone upstairs, and on the weekends, hard to get them. Hard to get what? You? Yeah, I just,

you know, I don't know, man. I've been honestly, like, well, because I've been on the road, Calvin's come with me a bunch of times. He didn't come with me last time, and he's not coming with me, San Antonio, New Orleans, Chrisley.com, Sugarland, Houston, Chrisley.ah.com. He doesn't get to go anymore? Sugar Lynn Houston, ChrisLeah.com.

But what? You just take him with you? Yeah. Just him sometimes? No, no, no. Him and Chris. Oh. Yeah.

But, you know, I'm sure I will soon at some point, you know. That would be hilarious. Oh, so funny. And I just, I don't know. I just, I don't, there's no difference really except for, you know, I'm just present. It's different. It's different though. It's different from what he's saying.

Well, yes. Right. Nine to five. He gets up at five in the morning. He's got to go do like military stuff all day. That's way different. Yeah. Then he gets home and he has to go from –

I guess for you guys it would be like you go and you're talking to your kid and all of a sudden you break into a commercial or – You know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. This dad is brought to you by DraftKings for $5, you know? And Calvin's like, can I have a serious question?

Yeah, a general question. Oh, this guy's going to show us the chicks? Do you have Kleenex over there? He doesn't show up, but he's got an update. Remember this guy? Anybody? All right. What up, boys?

It's Chris again. Hit you guys up last week for any of the girl living with rex not talking to that girl anymore i'm talking to the girls diagnosed dude we've been talking for a few months and things are going well she takes medication for her diagnosis she's hallucinations maybe like twice a month not a big deal i accept it and i can see myself having a loyal relationship with this girl. She's super funny. You know what I mean? She's dedicated.

She's ambitious. She gets my humor. She has a great sense of humor. And she's a beautiful dude. So I'm going to ride this out and see how it goes. Picture. I have a video for you guys. You can sit down and interview one of the two, Tupac or Biggie.

Let me know. Love you guys. Oh, I mean, no question, Tupac. Thanks. Oh, wow. It is a question. Sorry. mean, no question, Tupac. Thanks. It is a question. Sorry, it is a question. I know you get it. I meant no question for me.

I know it's a question. I feel like Tupac would be more interesting. Way more. Interesting, bro? Way more. He's also older. Right? When he passed away, he was older. I feel like he lived a little different vibe than Biggie I mean dude sitting both would be great yeah hey man what's wrong with your fucking me Biggie had his own you know he can't

he didn't come he didn't come from fucking he didn't go to Juilliard to like be an actor and stuff right that guy from who was directly from the streets yeah I don't know. I think you believe in the hype. I love both, but I'm just saying it... I think you believe in the hype because Biggie painted a picture

that wasn't necessarily true and Tupac... What do you mean? Well, they both did. No, listen. Biggie was a storyteller and it was great. He was great at that.

Yeah. But, you know, it wasn't... Yeah, but Tupac did a movie where he played this character and then after that he became that guy yeah but he also shot people do you know what I'm saying he shot at people yeah did he though yeah how do we know please he's also an act like straight up like went to juilliard please that's what i'm saying he went to like some like you know yeah he shot a cops really guys please and what do you mean biggie

wasn't real it wasn't all a dream he didn't read word up magazine tupac shot at the cops when they were trying to beat up a black guy no he didn he didn't. I don't think so. Please. He'd be dead. Come on, dude. Okay, well. He was in a movie with Janet Jackson. Poetic Justice. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. Yeah. This is according to Tupac.

Article written by Tupac? Yeah. For Tupac Weekly. Edited by Chris D'Elia. Edited by Chris D'Elia. Off-grid. Right. It said by Chris D'Elia. I could have made that joke too

if I thought. I just didn't want to, but Nick got it for the point. Why he's got to take your credit? Look at that. I didn't take it. I gave him credit. I could have done it.

I didn't do it. You roasted him last weekend, dude. Nick? Yeah. I'm surprised you're still here. I thought we fired him. Nope, still doing it. He roasted me last weekend? I. Nick? Yeah. I'm surprised you're still here. I thought we fired him. Nope, still doing it. He roasted me last weekend?

I don't remember that. Yeah, remember? You had that joke, and he was not feeling it. Oh, it was a bad joke. Forget it was. Oh, yeah, that joke, whatever it was. Fran Dresser. Oh!

I didn't do it. I thought about that like four days ago in the car, and I was like, man! We got to fire that guy, right? I really thought about it. I was like, I can't believe you fucking said that. He was driving. You had to stop like waiting, but you're like, oh. Yeah, got honked at. We got a fire that time. I really thought about it. I was like, I can't believe you fucking said that. He was driving. You had to stop like waiting. But you're like, huh.

We got a fire, Nick. That was not funny. Chin knows better. You never hear jokes from Chin. Chin's like a 50s house liar. But Chin's over there like this, thinking about it. Talk to me. I'll talk to you.

Otherwise, I'm here. Yeah, Chin's there. I legit thought about that on my own, not here. And I thought, wow, he really did that. Days later. Yeah. One more. This guy keeps coming with the heat.

All right, let's give him. He's our only guy. Coming with the heat. Brennan, Eric, Chris, I got another one. Do you piss in the shower? We did it. We did do it? Yeah, we did.

All right. Yeah, I piss hard in the shower. Yeah, we did it. I pee in the shower? We did it. We did do it? Yeah, we did. All right. Yeah. I piss hard in the shower. Yeah, we did it. I think it mixed up. I pee in the drain. This guy fucking I pee on my feet. All over the shit

in his mouth. Hey, come here to the dog. If I go in, if I just start pissing. Yeah, let it go. I'm not aiming for the drain. I aim for the drain though, but here's the deal.

If you just start pissing though, don't you feel like sometimes it might bounce out and get out the crack of the shower door? No. You don't care. With the other piss that's on the ground from when you missed the deal. If you just start pissing, though, don't you feel like sometimes it might bounce out and get out the crack of the shower door? No. You don't care. With the other piss that's on the ground from when you missed the toilet?

Yeah, I guess you're right. My mom, well, yeah, I guess you're right. It's just piss. One sec. But see, you guys are neat freaks. Even if you have a kid, you're neat freaks. Kristen just looks like that person. Yeah, she's a, yeah.

Okay? Rachel and I are messy. You're both messy? Yeah. Well, she's a yeah. Okay. Rachel and I are messy. You're both messy? Yeah. Well, dude, it can't work. You can't have a neat freak and a slob. Oh, yeah, you can. I'm kind of a slob.

Opposite the track. I'm not a neat. No, it doesn't work. No, it does. My girl has OCD. Sorry. My girl has OCD. I'm messy as fuck.

I'm messy, but I'm not dirty. Oh, that's different. Yeah. Yeah, I'm messy. I'm messy. I have not dirty Oh that's different Yeah Yeah I'm messy I'm messy I have to hire someone right now Because it's like The bathroom

Kitchen And Rachel's just kind of like I can't clean I don't want to She's like One of these people That's just like Sensitive to like

Whatever Sensitive to doing work She can't take the trash out How long you been She'll be like this too I always know When it's about to happen Cause like

Say something Say something in the fridge Went bad she'll open the fridge and i know she's not gonna do anything because she starts to go wow i can't so i'm like all right so now i gotta be the one to like you know and i'm just like sometimes i'm just like i don't want to do this yeah but i hate it so i'll be like okay i gotta yeah i have to hire i gotta get it i got it but i don't trust anybody. I got to find a good... Yeah, I get that. Have you been... You lived in the same place for how long?

No, no, this is a new place since the pandemic. Got it. Is it Blueberry? We're three stories. It's like three bathrooms. Slight flex. Oh, wow. Okay.

Jesus. Yeah, listen to Ferrari guys over here. I'm just saying. You know what I mean? My little townhouse over here. It's just a car. These guys are like, oh, flex. Three bathrooms. Three stories. Where do you put all your cars in that placehouse over here. It's just a car. And these guys are like, oh, flex. Three bathrooms.

Three stories. Where do you put all your cars in that place? Three bathrooms. Three bathrooms on three stories. Jesus Christ. You'd piss on any level. Is the blueberry still there? Oh, no.

That's been gone. Remember I told you it was dryer lint. Oh, dryer lint. Yeah. Which is still pissing me off. Hey, fellas. My name's Nicole. I'm over here out in Oregon.

Love you guys individually. Love the show. Oh, fellas. My name's Nicole. I'm over here out in Oregon. Love you guys individually. Love the show. Love the individual. But I have a question for you. So I feel like we've all been cheated on at a certain point in time in our life. But what I want to know from your guys' opinion is who gets more emotional after they found out they've been cheated on? The girl or the guy? That's a good question.

Anyway, thank you guys so much. Love the content. Keep it up. Buzz buzz. Nom nom. Woo woo woo. I mean, it depends on what kind of guy or man or woman you're dealing with. We'll let you take this one.

No, no, no. But it depends on what kind of man or woman you're dealing with. Honestly. Like, I mean, woman you're dealing with honestly like i mean if you're dealing with a woman that is one of those like latins yeah yeah they win but here's the thing but if you're dealing with a i mean because dudes get angry you know they'll go right to anger yeah yeah but i think it also is really more about like who has the worst response i feel like you're a crier yeah what do you mean what do you like who has the worst response i feel like you're a crier yeah what do you mean what do you mean who has the worst response like you know oh i see the response

to it is like how you know because like there's like details it's like you know like a woman in my experience it'd be like like they don't like don't be cheating on if you cheat on her with someone that she feels she's better than, that's going to be even worse response. You know what's weird is? I think with a – But if it's like, you know, Kamala Harris, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it is weird too because then if you're a dude – but if you're're a dude do you want them to go outside of your relationship with somebody better than you or not as good as you yeah i want her to i want her to

fuck michael b jordan you do oh yeah oh really oh yeah talk about that because then you'd be like i want to know about it well i'd rather she fucked michael b jordan than the guy you know i knew it was coming then like nick you see your girl and Nick at a fucking subway. Nick's all, uh, uh, uh, uh. I'm like, hey. But it's like cheaters. Have a little pride. What if it was like cheaters and your wife, the first date was at subway.

You know what I mean? He was like, you know, do it up, girl. Get the pepperoncinis. Get the pepperoncinis. Get extra cheese, girl. Hold on. And they're in his car You know what I mean I'm just saying

So I think it's like Who has the worst response I don't know I think it's equally It just depends I was cheated on I was cheated on And it was like

I remember I remember Huh You fucking did What I was cheating on He laughed You were like

I was cheating I was cheating I remember What he said Yeah no because But I remember my response I was here and he laughed. You were like, I was cheating. I was cheating. I remember it was like. What did you say? Yeah, no, because. But I remember my response. I was just like. I was so shocked.

You piece of shit. No, I get it, dude. No, he's doing it. You call me a piece of shit. Oh, I'm not. You're a bad guy. Yeah. All right.

Go ahead. No, please. But I never had the response where I wanted to be like an attacker. Well, yeah, yeah. You're just more hurt. Yeah, I was really hurt. I remember when I was done with it, over it. I remember I was at work.

I was at my job. I had a real job at the time. A real job. A real job. Yeah, I had a real job. I had to really work. Because now it's easy. Yeah, yeah.

Except for this podcast, Jesus. My bad. And then I'm talking to her on the phone still thinking I can get back with her or whatever and

her indifference she didn't give a fuck her indifference because that's by the way everybody the opposite of love is not hate it's indifference

yeah yeah yeah because when somebody hates you that's still a lot of emotions and something's still there but when somebody is indifferent yeah I got off the phone with her, I walked around the block three times, and then I was done. Wow. Real quick, how did you find out she was cheating on you?

Oh, she told me. There you go. Well, that's all. Yeah. Because it was a breakup. You know what I mean? She was like, you know what I mean? Savage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Savage. What are you supposed to do? Was she like, what's up? Yeah, I'm fucking. Was she cool about it? Was she like, I'm fucking somebody else? Here's what women do that's different from men, in my opinion.

See, when women, they don't like, when they start feeling like, oh, it's not happening, they start setting up a new camp. Yep. Yeah. While they're with you so they can make an easy transition. They're already recruiting. Yeah, it's already like – Mid-season. By the way, I already knew.

It's like anytime you hear a girl talking about a dude, oh, this is this guy I work with. If they mention him more than two times, that's the dude. That's funny. You keep hitting the table. It's making me furious. Yeah. Well, but here's the deal, though. Yeah, can I have some emotion sometimes? People have commented on You keep hitting the table. It's making me furious. Yeah. Well, but here's the deal, though.

Yeah, can I have some emotions sometimes? People have commented on the banging at the table. Oh, sorry. That's all good. That's when Eric's doing a hot take. Zoom in on me right now for the people that are talking about that. I'm talking about my emotions and feelings, okay? You got cheated on.

Hold on. She told him. So here's the thing, though. A woman will cheat on you and then realize, like, here's the thing. They'll cheat and then be like, oh, I realize I did that because I don't want to be with you. And you're like, oh, hold on. This is up to me to make this decision. You're not going to do that and then that. Right?

Oh, I think they already know. But that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm doing. I'm saying even before, I think there's a point where they don't know how to get out of their relationship. So it's like, well, let me get my set up the next one. But don't you think girls are doing it like it's worse when women do it

because it's emotional. There's an emotional connection. Because with guys, get the rocks off of them. Can I tell you something? My mom was talking about this before the dementia kicked in. Me and your mom have a podcast. She was like, I just have a podcast, but it would be hilarious because we could do the same subjects every week. There was that one congressman, whoever it was, where he had a relationship with some chick in Argentina or something like that. You remember that?

He was in Congress or whatever, and he was writing love letters. And I remember my mom saying, like, that's the thing that she wouldn't appreciate. Oh, yeah. Love. Yeah, because it was like having sex with somebody or whatever, you can actually overcome that. Right. You can get past whatever that indiscretion is. If this is a real thing, work on your issues and get past that.

If they're white. But when you're sharing love with somebody else. Writing letters. Writing letters to a woman. 2009, too. Mail them. Yeah, and when there was email. Yeah.

Yeah, so real, real, real, yeah. Real love. Oh, and if it's real letters? That's what I'm saying. Writing letters, that's work doing it, right? So he's like, you know what I mean? You've got to get a stamp. My love with a fucking feather.

Oh, my God know giving it to a pigeon yeah i want to get back to the michael b jordan thing yeah oh sorry it's okay it's fine but you want your woman level up bitch to level up yeah okay expand that expound on that why what is it i feel like it would hurt less if it was Mike. Because you get it? Yeah, because I'm like, I get it. Like if it was Nick Bosa or Michael B. Jordan, I'm like, I get it. I get it.

But that's also our ego talking. 100%. Like if George Bezos is like, you know, Jeff. George is his brother. That's his evil brother. It's his evil brother. George is his brother. That's his cousin. That's his evil brother.

It's his evil brother. If Kristen is like, you know, George Bezos has her hand here, and she'd be like this, I'm sorry, baby. It's George Bezos. But that's different because I'd be like, oh, because he looks like shit and has a sniper eye. I'd be like, oh, you're just after him because of the money. You're a money-hungry whore.

It doesn't even, no, what I'm saying is.orge too so yeah but it was george yeah george might be better george can get her like if your girl ran away with bill gates like oh fuck yeah it's the money yes tits he looks terrible i know but but michael b jordan look what you're doing psychologically you're giving yourself like a real easy out great fucking point okay that's what i'm saying that's why you're saying that it's like oh yeah you'd be like well i mean guys it's michael b jordan of course if it was somebody that's what i'm saying is like if it's nick yeah i'd be oh wow oh wow hey hey if it's oh i wasn't even giving her the basics i was even doing the fundamentals you're like nick i wasn't

i ain't shit. Yeah, man. It would make you feel so much worse. But it's like, I can't do what Michael B. Jordan does. She's like, he took me to Paris on a helicopter. I can't do that. I wonder what I would like less. I wonder what I would like less.

She's got pictures in his single apartment. You know what I mean? I got a two-bedroom. Right next to a hot plate. Flats. Flats. I'm just teasing. You know what I mean. I got a Steel X grownroom. Right next to a hot plate. Flats. Flats. I'm just teasing. You know what I mean.

I got a Steelix girl now. But that's what I'm saying, dude. It's like that's why we always – men always say that. Yeah, well, if it was like, you know, what's his name, Ryan Reynolds. Of course. Of course. I don't know what I would feel worse with, honestly. I'd have to think about it.

That's why you do that. When couples do that thing where they'd be They'd be like Okay well who's your like Pass Yeah Your hall pass Your hall pass Women are always like Well it would be like

Michael B. Jordan Hers is Jason Momoa Jason Momoa But for guys I'm a problem with that That chick at CVS That works at the But I'm a problem

Jason Momoa Like for your girl She's hot enough That's attainable Your sister That's what kind of I see him all the time That's attainable

He's at Irwan He's riding We ride bikes I see him all the time He's around attainable. He's at Irwan. We ride bikes. I see him all the time. He's around. Who's around? That's Jason Momoa. Aquaman's around.

And if your girl's attracted enough, besides those DMs, he's single. I know, yeah, I know. That big awkward dick. It's a problem. Yeah, he would do it. But my passes, or what we were joking about, if we had passes, but mine would be Jessica Chastain.

She's not going to fart. She's going to be like, what? That jerky comedian? You know who she is, right? She's a great actress. I think she's great. Is she the redhead? Redheaded, yeah.

Zero Dark Thirty? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like your style. Yeah, but she'd be like, this guy? Maybe. You're famous enough. In person, I do some,

I got a charisma about me, right? Because I go like this, I go like this, I go like this. You're a literal monster. Because I go like this, listen, sweetheart, I get it. I know, I know, I go like this. I go like this. I go like this. You're a literal monster. Listen, sweetheart. I get it. I know.

I know. I know. And I know I get it. And I'm the guy that you're just like, never. I get it. Take a walk with me. Right? And then.

No. She's doing the puzzle. Yep. She's doing the puzzle. I don't like it. Yeah. I hope my MOA. I hope my MOA.

Okay. Please, me too. I'll put in a word. Do you have a hall pass, Eric? No, are you kidding me? No, we don't have a hall pass. I can't even have female friends. You can't follow females on Instagram?

I don't like pictures anymore. I have to like like this. What did you do? What did you do? I looked down at this. What did you do? What'd he do? I looked down at this. What'd he do? What a funny joke. This is how I like pictures.

I got to go. I go, ooh. Oh, dude, that's so funny. You have to clip that and put that on your shit. Dude, that's so funny. There's no liking. I get it. Listen.

I get it, too. I know who I'm with. All right? So it is what it is. Are you saying you outkicked your coverage? Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's funny.

I got 6G. Yeah. Oh, fuck. All right. All right, cool. Well, thanks. I'll be in New Orleans, what? February 10th.

No, this weekend. Bell House. No. February 10th. Before that, fly to Houston and come to see me in Sugar Land. Fly to Houston? How many people are just in Houston? Yeah, that too.

They probably already got tickets. Is that Thursday night? No, that's Saturday, and then Sunday I'm in New Orleans. Brooklyn, February 10th. And then San Antonio on Thursday, but that's, I think, sold out. San Antonio's on Thursday? Yeah. So go to Christian.

San Antonio's on Friday, sorry. You don't have a show Thursday? Nope, no show Thursday. Well, that's not going to work for my thing. Well, I was going to say leave his show, come to mine in Springfield, Missouri. Teleport. Friday, Saturday. We'll just go to one of those and then get to Escondido in San Diego area.

There you go. But Springfield, Missouri, this Friday, Saturday, and I'm in Naples, Florida. Then Brea one night because I have a fight campaign on March 4th. So March 3rd is a Friday. We have two shows at the Brea Improv. If you're in town, let me know. Yeah. Imagine a jerk who, we probably have a fan like that

who's got that kind of money. Would he go see all three of us in a weekend? Oh, yeah. That would be cool. Oh, wow. That would be wild. We could make it easy on them just doing a show together. That's true.

We should do that eventually. We will. Yep. All right, cool. All right, kids. Love you. See you next time february 10th Thank you.