The Golden Hour - Reliving Childhood Trauma | The Golden Hour #19 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Starting point is 00:00:00 I used to scare my dad. I used to scare my dad all the time. I'd scare him all the time. I'd hide in the closet where he'd hang his coat home from work. So I'd be like in the closet. I'd wait for him. And then I'd scare him. And I'd just run and he'd be like, Dun-dun-dun-dun again! I was like, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us

Starting point is 00:00:35 It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the golden hour It's the golden hour I went to Chris's. He'll text us in. I went to Chris's. He'll text us in?

Starting point is 00:00:59 He'll text us in. Text us in? You're from Texas? I'm saying you're going to text in. Text in? Because you're on your phone. Oh, text? Text! You said I'm texting. Straight up. Do you have a retainer in or something? No, it's the

Starting point is 00:01:13 dip, doggy. Come on, man. How many shows have we done here? Hey, can we talk about your son's birthday party? Yeah, but... We can, but you dip too much. You need cash. What? You need cash. Why do I need cash? Birthday party. Because it was too much?

Starting point is 00:01:28 Just get a bouncy castle next time. For not enough? I don't understand. Just get a bouncy castle. Because he does bouncy castle? But just make it normal, right? Oh, don't have all the stuff in it? Don't you do that? Yeah, I do that.

Starting point is 00:01:40 Like you had like the balls and the cookies. That was fun. That was fun. The entertainment though. Oh, that. That was fun. The entertainment, though. Oh, that. Oh. I'm cool with it. I'm cool.

Starting point is 00:01:51 Well, the kids liked it. I'd like a little bit of a head. Bro, it's not for you. What do you want, strippers? You know what? Yeah. Put. Right?

Starting point is 00:01:59 I didn't know, bro. Tell people what happened. No. Tell them what kind of party you invited me to. A mad scientist party. Heavy on the mat. Tell people what happened. No. Tell them what kind of party you invited me to. A mad scientist party. Heavy on the mat. Don't. Dude, don't.

Starting point is 00:02:10 I don't. Is it the teacher from Canada? Dude, don't. He got fired, by the way. Yeah, he got fired. Yeah, right? He was a troll, right? No, no.

Starting point is 00:02:22 I don't think so. They thought it was a troll, John. They came out, no, he's just crazy. Yeah. He's a giant teddy. But yeah, that's who did Chris's party. I hired a mad scientist company to come and do the stuff. And they did a great job.

Starting point is 00:02:37 Great job. I had no issue with it. Dude, shut the... Dude, all lives matter. All right, that's stupid, man. No, I had no problem with it. I'm so sorry i missed it now oh you missed it it was great they had a great time calvin had a great time they did the potion

Starting point is 00:02:50 with the all the you know the dry ice we got the cool mad scientist outfit it was very cute and that's all i have to say about that but the party was nice yeah i had a good time and uh Yeah, I had a good time. And, you know, it's not like, you know, it's like when you go to like, when I was like in my 20s, I would like look at the, what do you call it? The escort, right? Like the hooker stuff, right? And you're like, are these really the ones that show up?

Starting point is 00:03:24 You know what I'm saying? And then you ask people, you're like, is that who shows up? And they're like, are these really the ones that show up? You know what I'm saying? And then you ask people, you're like, is that who shows up? And they're like, no. And you're like, oh. And Brendan is saying, and I'm not. I had a great time. My kids had a good time. I had a good time. I said some questions.

Starting point is 00:03:38 So what Brendan is saying is, if he would have been on the site for the mad scientist, this person that's on the site didn't show up. That's what his friend in the site. I didn't say that. I had a good time. I had a good time. You know what's crazy? I've never seen you this diplomatic.

Starting point is 00:03:57 It's a dicey situation. Because I, first of all, it's the beginning of the episode. I don't want to get flagged. This is the main thing. Second of all, honestly, I'm being truthful, man. My son had a good time. It was good, and I'm happy about that, and that's it. But there were some questions in the room.

Starting point is 00:04:19 There were some questions. You didn't have to have a talk afterwards? No. I did. You didn't have to have a talk afterwards? I did. This is why we live in LA, because it's a beautiful place. And it's great.

Starting point is 00:04:36 Shout out to the mad scientists. They were great. She was great. She was, yeah. Okay? She was great. She was very sweet. I had no issue with it, man. She was, yeah. Okay? She was great. She was very sweet. I had no issue with it, man. It's strong calves.

Starting point is 00:04:48 The guy says he has no issue with it. Can we start the episode with something else? You know why I'm diplomatic? Because I liked her. She was good. Really nice, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know you're not saying that.

Starting point is 00:05:00 No, I'm not. You're making a joke. Yeah, kind of. I would like a little bit of a heads up next time before I pull in, right? What am I going to do? What am I going to say? Why? You're going to turn around?

Starting point is 00:05:14 You're going to send out a group text, like maybe, you know. Hey, fellas, just be cool, man. What a stupid thing we're talking about right now. Yeah, it's so ridiculous. But you know what? I do understand. I have more respect for you. No, that's the thing.

Starting point is 00:05:26 We haven't even said anything. No, we don't need to. We don't need to. But I do have respect for you getting here on time. When you are late, I have more respect for you because the driving, the parking is insane. Well, we have had valet before. We should have done it. No, it's no big deal.

Starting point is 00:05:41 But I was like, oh, I chris sometimes deal like you're not like callan who's like oh the ocean's overflowing on the pch i'll be late i'm like that doesn't make sense the other day yours i was like oh this makes sense dude the other day i i was sitting in my driveway for 20 minutes because it sucks dude the the the i don't know i guess they made the roads in 1920 i don't understand it's single. So if there's a UPS truck, here's your morning. I know. I know. I had to drive up my – I had to drive – I had to drive my dad.

Starting point is 00:06:12 My dad showed up, and he was like, can you park my car? And I was like, sure. You know, he's 75. Dude, it was a 20-minute walk. And I got back. I'm like so pissed. And then as I'm coming back, Skyler Stone, he drives up. He's like, hey, is this a one-way street? And I was like so pissed and then as I'm coming back Skyler Stone he drives up he's like

Starting point is 00:06:25 hey is this a one way street and I was like dude no and he was like oh my god so he I don't know it's like

Starting point is 00:06:32 drop your wives off and then park is the thing I dropped the kiddos and girl off and then I parked seven miles away but then when I say

Starting point is 00:06:38 invite your dad your dad had on those dope Yeezys which I don't have and I go hey pops dope Yeezys he looks at me

Starting point is 00:06:44 and goes thanks and I kept going I was like oh he's used to the Yeezys, which I don't have. And I go, hey, Pop, dope Yeezys. He looks at me and goes, thanks. I kept going. I was like, oh, he's used to the Yeezys. He doesn't think that. He loves, he loves. Yeah, he's living that Yeezy lifestyle. Yeah, he's like, what?

Starting point is 00:06:51 He loves good footwear, man. He looks dope. I know, I know. Probably the best dress. I know. He's a cool-dressed dude. He really is. Yeah, he really is a cool dude.

Starting point is 00:07:00 And he wears those Yeezys, and I love those Yeezys. By the way, I've never seen those Yeezys before. They have so many different color combos. I don't know what you'd call those. Those are like the Bronco. I call them the Broncos. Remember? They're like orange with blue all around.

Starting point is 00:07:11 They're sick. I want them. He made me want them. I know. I know. I want them too. This will be the time, though, if you have some that you just got in the past year. This is probably the cheapest they've ever been.

Starting point is 00:07:25 That actually went up. Well, they went up originally. Are they up again? Well, no. Okay. So it'll be interesting to see what happens to the price of it. But also, they're working on a deal, right? Yes.

Starting point is 00:07:35 Yeah. So nobody cares. Yeah. I've seen a lot of people who are like, man, I got these for $400. Right, right, right. But the market overall is up on those Yeezys, like the Wave Runners. But no, in general, they've always been up. But then there's the one people are like, I don't associate with him.

Starting point is 00:07:52 Take him for $100. Right, right, right. All right, bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I said, I draw the line in. If it's cool and a good product, I don't care what they stand for. They could literally be like, kill all whites. And I'm like, how much is this shoe? Yeah, if it's lit. I don't care. I don't care what they stand for they could literally be like kill all whites and i'm like how much is the shoe it's yeah if it's lit i don't care i don't care i'll tell you you could

Starting point is 00:08:09 use some of those yeezys when you size probably 16 as your mad scientist at the thing because the sandal the toe this is the sound of the toes were like this i was like damn let's get some Yeezys. No. She had a big foot. She had a heavy foot. Entertaining, though. Did a good job. What the... Did he open his gift from us? He did.

Starting point is 00:08:36 I don't even know what it was. Rachel. Oh, I sent you a video of it. Yeah, yeah. It was great. Great video. And I was like, oh. Oh, that's what we got him. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:41 You got him... Trucks? We got you something loud. He opened what? Some dinosaurs? Oh. Tiger picked it up. Oh, that's what we got him at. You got him some trucks? We got you something loud. Some dinosaurs? Tiger picked it up. Oh, yeah, the dinosaur truck stuff. Yeah, the dinosaur trucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:51 Yeah, he loved it. He loved it. And the BattleBots are hilarious. He got him battle two robots that fight. And he's just sitting there. And he was like, they're fighting. They're fighting. And he goes, he goes. But don't they do fighting dude and he and he goes he goes and don't

Starting point is 00:09:06 they like this and then doesn't they do it themselves they do you can control it yeah but it's better i do it you know but for him and and he does it but then he just like he's like and uh dude their eyes turn different colors like i think if they fall down they turn red like they die and and when the sometimes the eyes are yellow I don't know why they're yellow but like he'll be like I don't want the eyes yellow and he tries to like because if they fall it's red but he doesn't know if they fall so he's just like banging it until it turns red it's really funny I'm watching that bad scientist like this on the council tongue well that's his thing that's his thing he was not buying he's not mine I'm trying to tell you. He's like, I got some questions.

Starting point is 00:09:45 Everything. If you put like a 35-year-old's brain in the middle, he would be like. It's too funny, bro. Questions. That's how he was at this thing. Because they're asking him for what color ball. That's what's always on his head. He's like this all the time.

Starting point is 00:09:59 What color ball? What color ball? He goes, yellow. He waits. He'll get all the information, wait until everyone's done, and then I have some questions. Yeah. Dude, he, yeah, man.

Starting point is 00:10:09 I mean, that's what it is all the time. I bring him out on stage. I bring him out on stage like five times. You know, there's like thousands of people, and he just comes out, and he's just looking at everybody. Too funny. All right, let's take a break, huh? Let's talk about this March.

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Starting point is 00:11:28 Draft game sportsbook with cold golden. Minimum age, negative restrictions apply. See show notes for details. Let's get back to the program. Well, yeah. You were in Vegas, Eric? Yes. Vegas?

Starting point is 00:11:39 Vegas is a tough sell. You just stay in. Oh, I know, yeah. You just compete with Slane Dion. It was like NASCAR. Adele. UFC fight. There's always nine things going on. You just stay at the back. Oh, I know, yeah. Just compete with Slane Dion. It was like NASCAR. Adele. UFC fight. There's always nine things going on.

Starting point is 00:11:48 Yeah. The big UFC fight was there. Where'd you play? Were you playing? Jimmy Kimmel. Oh, got it. It was actually great. I actually had a good time.

Starting point is 00:11:54 Wait, where is it? It was Rachel's birthday, so I brought her. We went to the Nobu restaurant. Nobu, Nobu, Nobu. That's so good, man. We stayed at Nobu. I should go there. Okay, okay.

Starting point is 00:12:04 Wait, stay there. There's a Nobu hotel in Seahawks. Thankbu. Oh, no. Okay, okay. Wait, stay there. There's a Nobu hotel in Seamaners. Thank you. Here's your credit card. Yeah. Sir. The thing is. We're closing.

Starting point is 00:12:14 This was perfect for Rachel because she likes the mall, too. So we're staying at Nobu. The Nobu restaurant's right there. And there's a mall in Caesars. She's just a pig. Oh, it's the mall. A pig in shit yes yeah

Starting point is 00:12:26 so you were just like this is you know awesome what I want you got it might be hard just buying shit and then the next day

Starting point is 00:12:33 it was like now I'm in work mode right right you know what I mean but she was like it's still my birthday oh dude that's hilarious

Starting point is 00:12:40 and I'm like uh no yeah that was last night yeah yeah yeah daddy has to work now yeah I had to get see all this shit you bought yeah I don't like Oh, it was a good day, yeah. And I'm like, no. Yeah. That was last night? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, daddy has to work now. Yeah, I had to get it. See all this shit you bought?

Starting point is 00:12:49 Yeah, I don't like. I'm going to break even. I took her to New Year's one. I was performing for New Year's. And I took her one time. And I was like, I'm not doing this again. What? Because it's like.

Starting point is 00:12:59 Not doing what? Stressful. Bringing her. Oh, period. Yeah, because when I. I'm like the star of the show yeah my New Year's weekend

Starting point is 00:13:08 well it's your show but I'm a valet for her oh right yeah oh that's your Uber driver yeah my dad would always say like no look

Starting point is 00:13:15 you know in the business I'd be in the business coming up and he was like no matter how good you are just remember you always gotta be that guy

Starting point is 00:13:20 that takes the trash out when you get home you know what I mean or whatever that's exactly what it is it's like yeah yeah yeah you know two three thousand people screaming and trash out when you get home. You know what I mean? Or whatever that thing is. That's exactly what it is. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:27 You know, 2,000, 3,000 people screaming. And then you get home and it's just, hey. And you're like, here we go. Just even checking into the hotel. It's like, let me get your bags. Right, right. It's so funny. It's weird for one person to be saying to you, Mr. Griffin, can we get access? Just a second.

Starting point is 00:13:41 Babe, let me get your. I kind of like that, though. It keeps you humble. Keeps you grounded. Because it's literally like, boom. It's like, oh, can I get a picture? And oh, my God. Oh, you're so great.

Starting point is 00:13:54 Oh, you're funny. And then you're just, hey, fuckhead. You know? Oh, hey. Not that your wife does that. So, babe, can you give me some tea? Yeah, exactly. You're like, I guess.

Starting point is 00:14:02 I'm on stage in two hours. Yeah. She's very much... You're on stage oh this is like babe here's another one too though she came out talky she comes into the green she comes into the green she wants to go to all the shows i go okay that's cool though yeah it's sweet that she wants to okay but then she goes are you doing anything new material oh no he's like hey dude i've heard these jokes i I was like, did I?

Starting point is 00:14:26 That's funny, bro. Don't come to the show. Yeah. You know, just don't come to the show. I don't know, like, any of her critiques. It's triggering. She's like, hey, how was the show, babe? Hey, you know, I heard all this.

Starting point is 00:14:38 Wow. It's like, that's what this is. I know. So that crowd was tough. Yeah. What the fuck? So if I was in, like, you know, I was in Evita. Right.

Starting point is 00:14:46 You know? Right, right, right, right, right. You come three nights, you go, you sang those songs already. Descripted and changed it all. Only with comedy. I know. Isn't that weird? Only with comedy.

Starting point is 00:14:55 I'm supposed to. And she knows how it works, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? What? We had one breakup in the middle of our relationship, and she caught herself being like, I want to be a comic. Really?

Starting point is 00:15:06 So she went to a few open mics, and she recorded herself, and she won't let me see it. Oh, well, because it's terrible. There's a reason for that. But I want to see it. I get that. Boy, do you ever. And that's going on the podcast. That's going on that only thing.

Starting point is 00:15:23 If my wife did stand up like once or twice, I never want to see it. No, no, no, no. It's not even that. For me, well, she's not a comic, but like I would I don't ever want to date or

Starting point is 00:15:39 I would never want to date like anybody in the business. That's crazy to me. When I see two comics together, I'm like, wow, that's... Good for you good for you yeah good for you but it's it is i mean i understand she did it once or twice but like my god they always said there can only be one headshot in the household eric seems stressed yeah i just i want to hear those tapes i mean what you know but then you think too is like it like so if if they go to become a comedy because, let's say, you break up. Right. Or they're mad at you or something.

Starting point is 00:16:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if you hear the tapes of just her roasting you? You know what I mean? What if it's just her? Imagine Kristen going up to you. Oh, my God. Hey, what if the tapes of just her just lighting you up? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:20 That's what I'm saying. She's like, this Mr. Potato Head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, tone it down. I'm sorry. With his Marvel shirt. Yeah. Are we going to talk about what your wife does?

Starting point is 00:16:29 My husband's a drunk. This alcoholic. His mouth always smells like shit. At 11 a.m. He got that big dick. Am I right? No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not how you roast, bro.

Starting point is 00:16:44 No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not how you roast. No, no, no. Come on, bro. What's wrong with you? It's not a roast to be like you have a big dick, dude. It's too big. No, no, no. Roast! It hurts me all the time. This is getting to be in the back. Oh! Get him!

Starting point is 00:17:03 Can we get some video? I hate you guys. Alright. Okay, can we get some video? I hate you guys. Alright. Debate Club from Vancouver, Canada. Finished up my graveyard shift and I have a hard-hitting trending topic question for you. There we go.

Starting point is 00:17:20 Who is more embarrassing, John Morant or Jackson Mahomes? Who are they? One is that Clarence's parents had a really good marriage, you know, an eight-mile M&M. Football guys. And one's a TikTok phenom. Love him. I also might have gotten the Golden Hour subreddit ban.

Starting point is 00:17:37 I posted a picture of Miss Titty's titties. It was only one titty, sorry. And everyone probably wants to subreddit it down because it was taken down right after saying it was unmonitored. Thanks. I don't know. What is he talking about? So he's talking about Ja Morant.

Starting point is 00:17:50 Both things I don't understand. I'll fill him in. Ja Morant is one of the best basketball players in the NBA. Cool. He grew up with a good family, doesn't come from poverty, doesn't have a good family. All of a sudden he's acting like a gangster. He was caught in clubs.

Starting point is 00:18:02 Is he white or black? He's black. Okay. Hey, he's in the NBA, right? So he came from there. I mean, what's his name? Unless he's acting like a gangster. He was caught in the clubs. Is he white or black? He's black. Okay. Hey, he's in the NBA, right? So you take from there. What's his name? Unless he's European. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:18:09 Exactly. Exactly. The fact that you had to say it like that is like, let's move on. Yeah, yeah. There's that Steve Nash. Who's the guy's Nash? Which is Steve. From 10 years ago.

Starting point is 00:18:17 Dan Marley. Larry Bird still playing? No. So John Morant is one of the best basketball players. He grew up with a good family. Then all of a sudden, he's been caught on Instagram holding a gun up in the club. He threatened Shannon Sharp. He's acting all gangster.

Starting point is 00:18:32 Okay, that's highly embarrassing. And he's so good at basketball. It's so disappointing. So there's John Morant and then Patrick Mahomes' little brother. Patrick Mahomes is the football player. The best football player. The MVP for the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl winner. I know him, yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:44 So he's the best football player the mvp for the kansas city chiefs super bowl winner i know him yeah so he's the best uh football player in the world okay his little brother is always at the games doing tiktoks doing crazy shit like embarrassing stuff oh i've seen like he's super cringe i've seen really super cringe okay and now he's getting accused of doing something with ladies okay no hold on let me see the basketball player that's him right there okay that does the thing okay so this guy's got a good his His parents are together, has a great childhood. And now he's acting gangster. He tried fighting Shannon Sharp, too. Alright, well, where in South Carolina?

Starting point is 00:19:12 That's a question. Wherever the nicest part's at. Okay, so let's see what he does. Can we? This was it. Okay. Now, real quick, he's in a... They said a nightclub. I'm from Denver. This is in Denver. He's at Shotgun Willie's. It's the premier strip club in Denver, Colorado. Shout out to shotguns but when this went when he did this he has already been in trouble like there's stories about last year he got in a fight in a street game with a 17 year

Starting point is 00:19:36 old kid and supposedly punched him like 14 to 15 times he's been with like his boys outside of uh the stadium like flashing his gun at other lasers. But with the lasers. So do you know the guns with the lasers? So, like, these group of teenagers come by, and him and his boys have their lasers on the car. And the kid was like, cops, please. Oh, fuck. It's all dude, but just make... This guy's still in the league, right? Yeah, yeah. He's one of the best

Starting point is 00:19:58 basketball players in the world. He's so fucking good. He's so good. He's one of my favorite players in the world. I mean, this thing with the gun, like, listen, I... What I don't, my problem I have with this is him flashing it like this on a video. But I don't got a problem with if you got to conceal and carry. Well, yeah, if it's legal. And you're out, because when you're young, rich, and black in a place like that, you're a target. If it's all legal and shit and you got your shit, yeah, cool.

Starting point is 00:20:24 I don't give a fuck. I'm not against guns. No, but that's what I'm saying. Pointing at teenagers, though? No, no. When you're at $200 million? I know, but he's like, this in the club? That's fucked up, yeah. I know, but that's what I mean. What I'm saying, though, is

Starting point is 00:20:39 just like with anything, be responsible. If you're messing around and then it gets out, you have to be accountable for that. Take ownership. Take ownership of that. Just like, again, like I said before, if you have a group text with your friends and you say awful stuff, and then we take nothing of it, but once it gets out, we've got to go, okay, I'm sorry that this offended people, but this is our thing.

Starting point is 00:21:02 You have to be accountable. That's what happened with this thing. But with him, also, you were – He's also 23. I don't give a fuck. Rich. You signed the max deal. Higher security, bro.

Starting point is 00:21:11 You don't need to be carrying guns. Right. No, but he wants to because he wants to be tough. This is why he's doing it. Can we see it? That was it? He just held the gun? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:17 Okay. All right. And then now this is back-to-home brother. I haven't seen this. But his TikToks are so cringy. It's not like you have the Super Bowl, and he dabs up his brother walking in the Super Bowl, and then he looks at the camera. He's like, what's this? Brother. Okay. I haven't seen this. But his TikToks are so cringy. It's not like at the Super Bowl. And he dabs up his brother walking to the Super Bowl. And then he looks at the camera.

Starting point is 00:21:28 He's like, what's up? I'm like, that's your brother. Oh, okay. He's all, yeah. All right. Well, the other one is really cringy. I don't know about that. But there's, okay, what's this?

Starting point is 00:21:36 He's trying to kiss a woman. This is what he's in trouble for, Nick? Yeah. So that's him on the top left. Okay. And she's the owner of this bar. And they're in the back. Oh.

Starting point is 00:21:44 Oh. Oh, and she pushes his head off oh jesus oh he's just grabbing by the neck like that and now is she she's sat she's mad at this because clearly they weren't well yeah it didn't look like i mean she was not having it he grabbed her by the neck and he comes goes back, oh, grabbing her again. She pushes his face. I gotta say, I don't like stuff like this. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:10 I don't like stuff like this because one, we don't hear anything that they're saying. There's no context. There's no context. Of course, yeah. There's no nothing

Starting point is 00:22:18 and it's just like, it sucks because now- It looks bad. Clearly he's fucking up. I'm just saying, now you can write your own narrative. Yeah, it looks bad. There's's no audio yeah yeah but what i'm saying is like what like if is

Starting point is 00:22:31 this how they mess around yeah what was the relationship before this you don't know yeah have to know each other for five years have to have previous relations so what's what's it saying on the the text though nick like what's it just saying this girl's suing him or something like that? Is she saying something about it now? I'm not exactly sure. And sometimes I feel like people get put in a situation where now, let's say, and I'm just hypothetical. Let's say they are, you know, they're messing around, they're friends or whatever. They're messing around. This is a pranky thing they like to, you know.

Starting point is 00:23:01 But then people see this and they're going to her and they're being like, Say something. I can't believe that he did that to you. And now she's in a situation where she's like, Yeah, I can't believe it either. Say something for all women. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get put in this situation.

Starting point is 00:23:16 I'm not condoning. Well, you don't know what happened. I'm not condoning any behavior or anything like that. I'm just saying this is – I hate that. But I also think part of his thing, like if this was anybody – And this is – I hate that. Yeah. But I also think part of his thing, like if this was anybody – Well, if she's – now look, if the owner of the restaurant – Well, she is the owner. No, I'm not.

Starting point is 00:23:33 That's what I'm saying. If she's saying this, she's coming out with this, then it's like it is what it is. But I think part of this too is he's super cringy and people can't stand him. So maybe this isn't the worst thing. Who knows the relationship? But people are like, all right, now we got him on something. Even if it was the smallest thing. I'm not saying that's small.

Starting point is 00:23:52 Let's say they did have a previous relationship. Now people are like, let's get this fucking tool. Get his ass. That's all it is. There's a man. But this is like, this is crazy. Because it's like, you know, he obviously is jealous of his brother. Well, why wouldn't he be?

Starting point is 00:24:10 No, but I mean to the point where it's just like your brother is like now one of the most famous people in the United States. I think he's the best quarterback of all time. One of the most recognizable. He's arguably the best. He's up there. And you're over here being like, well, I'm going to jump on this. Because the only reason why people give a flying about you is because of your brother. Correct.

Starting point is 00:24:33 So, like, what are you doing? He doesn't care about it. Man, it's almost like, you know, they got to have a family meeting. I mean, what is Patrick Holmes saying? He might have to go get him and be like, yo, man, come here. What are you doing? And he obviously doesn't care. What?

Starting point is 00:24:47 The Patrick? The brother doesn't. I'm saying. He thinks he's untouchable. That's the problem. My brother's Patrick Mahomes. Like, okay, buddy, you're going to learn the hard way. But then also, that video.

Starting point is 00:24:56 This is like Jay Shaw. Can't stand him. He's just out here in East Street. Gold chains on one? TikTok? Yeah, couldn't be further from it. I wish you'd have a little bit of that flavor in them but um i had some nice shoes on at the party bro oh yeah the lobsters yeah no he has great fashion that's why i got it when i was a kid but also um that video was released she owns the restaurant so clearly she has an issue because

Starting point is 00:25:21 she released that video oh yeah so that boy's he's in trouble. Well, then good. He's in trouble. But one of them has talent. I know, but again, it's like, I don't understand why that guy thought whatever he was doing was okay. You're talking about Patrick Mahomes' brother? Yeah. Yeah, grab that girl by the neck like that? But just even in whatever that situation was, why did he think that was okay? Nick, go to some of his TikToks.

Starting point is 00:25:45 Like, it's like, what? Why America hates him. Now I realize, too, that's like surveillance video. And they're just like, yeah, he should get arrested, obviously. He's young. He doesn't even think about that when he does his bullshit. Well, yeah, and he was probably drunk. Oh, this is not.

Starting point is 00:26:00 Wait, but is this a Patreon episode or not? No, no, no, he's on the field with his brother. Is this Nick or not? This is not. Okay, so just play it on silent. It's fine. How old is he? It looks like he's like 17 or something.

Starting point is 00:26:11 Eight and a half million? All right. He must be like 20 years old. So here's his Super Bowl winning brother. That his dad? No, that's Henry Winkler. Oh. Fonzie?

Starting point is 00:26:24 Yeah. What's Fonzie doing there? Damn, he gave him a Super Bowl jersey? I think the cringy stuff is mostly the dancing. Yeah, do the dancing. Show the dancing. His brother's fucking tall, dude. Pick up a goddamn football.

Starting point is 00:26:42 All right, already that's very cringy. Already it's super cringy oh god oh my god just just support your brother and sit the fuck down anytime someone does this oh it's so good yeah i know i know i know well i mean whoa is that him on the on the one one to the right one to the right one to the right. One to the right. One to the right. That's him? Oh. That's him? Oh, he has sugar in his tank.

Starting point is 00:27:09 There's a lot of rumors that he has sugar in his tanks, and a lot of people were memeing that, like, oh, that's going way too far to prove you're straight to just sexually assault the. Oh. Wow. So this is even more layered than we've been saying. Deep. That's why he's lashing out.

Starting point is 00:27:23 First of all, one, I didn't realize he was this young. Yeah. So this is a more layered than we've seen. That's why he's lashing out. First of all, one, I didn't realize he was this young. Yeah. So this is a whole other layer. He's going to make a lot of mistakes. Yeah, this is a whole other layer. Trying to get attention. I thought he was around the same age. No, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:27:36 This is like, ugh, come on. Yeah, there's a lot of sweet and low in that tank. Well, you know what? Everybody in Patrick Mahomes' camp, they love to talk a lot of smack. Even his wife? Yeah. Talk shit about Rogan. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:50 What? What? Who? She went at Rogan. Yeah. Wait. They also went at her. Oh, they did?

Starting point is 00:27:55 Yeah. Well, she's like. But she's just out here. We did it. She's like, we told y'all. Who didn't believe in us? It's like. Yeah,'all who didn't believe in us it's like yeah us excuse me yeah you didn't hold him down for 30 years you know what i mean it's like then you could be like we really made

Starting point is 00:28:12 something of our lives yeah we did it together yeah but isn't are there like 20 i'm just saying too he's like we did it he's been to the amc championship five times in a row he already has three two super bowl appearances, one win. Two MVPs. Nobody was holding him back. No. You got this. Nobody thought they couldn't do it.

Starting point is 00:28:31 Right, right, right. You guys are loaded. And you got a great coach. You got this, man. Yeah. Crazy. That whole thing is just – the whole thing is cringe. Good question, though, man.

Starting point is 00:28:40 The whole thing is cringe. Was there another question that guy had? Ja Morant is more disappointing. Ja Morant is more disappointing because he has so much talent. Like, the young kid doing this bullshit, that's terrible. Ja Morant, he's a Hall of Famer. If he keeps going, he's going to be a Hall of Famer. Like, what the fuck are you doing?

Starting point is 00:28:56 Quit acting tough. He asked who's more cringe. The cringe thing is the guy doing the thing with the gun who is from whatever, went to private school. But then also, the guy doing this. Nothing's more crazy than doing that. It's spot on. Especially because I'm 42. Yeah, it's spot on.

Starting point is 00:29:20 And the hat's all, like, propped up. That makes me feel weird, man. Shit, it does, doesn't it? Fuck. He also said at the end that he got the Golden Hour subreddit banned, which I didn't know we had one. I didn't either. He posted the tit of Tits McGee from her OnlyFans.

Starting point is 00:29:37 Nice tits. Oh, really? I thought you could put nude stuff on Reddit. Not OnlyFans. It gets shut down. Yeah, maybe you just did the- Oh, because it's paid content? Yeah, you're not allowed to do it. I heard her OnlyFans was free gets shut down. Yeah, maybe you just did the... Oh, because it's paid content? Yeah, you're not allowed to do it.

Starting point is 00:29:45 I heard her OnlyFans was free. Is that right or no? It's free to sign up, and then she charges for pictures, and she's made $4,000, she said. Give them back. Who says we don't give back? Dude, and people are like, oh, dude, these men talking about a woman's tits.

Starting point is 00:30:02 We just made her 4K. God gave her the tits. We did the legwork. Good for you guys. If you're mad about, like, no, I'm sorry. No, no, no. Like, if I'm sending a video to, like, you know, if it was something, especially not even me. Forget me.

Starting point is 00:30:18 We wouldn't want to be me doing it. But if it's, like, you know, some in-shape person. Got a question for you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, so, you ever got a question. Yeah. Dude. So you ever at the supermarket? Yeah. You're just like, or you don't even, it's not, you just see it.

Starting point is 00:30:32 Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You just want to act like there's no dick on. Well, that's what the game did for everyone. He's doing those mirror selfies. So good. The biggest.

Starting point is 00:30:43 I was so jealous when he did that. I was like, man, I should have done that. You'd be like, hashtag BigHugFriday. What's up, y'all? What about the guy that was in cash and they CGI'd it out? Oh. Like, look at this. He'd post selfies like that.

Starting point is 00:30:54 I was so jealous he did that. I was like, no, I can't. That would have been my move, bro. I could have done that easy. Yeah. You can't send this to some all-girl podcast and then. Right, right, right, right. And then, first of all, they would obviously say something about it and no one would have a problem.

Starting point is 00:31:12 No. No one would have a problem. Of course. But this girl sends us a walking down the street from here to here shot and the titties are just. Titties are doing the wave. So guys. Hitting birds. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:31:28 And we're just like, okay. We got to not talk about it. Dude, I'm so jealous he did that, man. I would have done that by the time I was 45. Go to the one in blue, Nick. That's a great, great. Bazooka. Great.

Starting point is 00:31:43 What can we say? Penis. I want that kind of penis. Now imagine talking about this and avoiding that big, giant dick in your face. His tattoos are cool. Cut to him sending us a video. Yo, what's up? Yo, what's up?

Starting point is 00:31:57 If he did it, it's not really cringe. And it's just hair. Yeah. All right, let's see what this guy wants to do. This is like if Santino put his finger in a socket and shocked himself. This guy looks like an Ewok grew up. Teaching your kid how to swim. There's this video going around with this lady, I don't know,

Starting point is 00:32:18 basically just fucking her child up and then tricking him to get in the pool. What? So I know you guys got kids. What do you think? What's the best way to teach him how to swim? What's the video? You know, traditional, like, floaties, lessons. But you just tossed that motherfucker in there.

Starting point is 00:32:30 That's what they did with me, right? You know what I'm saying? But then you, my fat ass, was going to float, so it was not a problem. And I learned. He's cool. But it was kind of traumatic. So I know you guys got kids.

Starting point is 00:32:41 Let me know. And Nick? Whoa. Oh. Oh, he's gay? He doesn't see what that dick do. Nice. That's cool. I didn't know he kids. Let me know. And Nick? Whoa. Oh, he's gay? He doesn't see what that dick do. Nice. That's cool.

Starting point is 00:32:48 I didn't know he was gay until the end. I like that kind of stuff. I got fans. You finally got one. I didn't know. I love when I don't know people are gay until the end, dude. That's awesome. Yeah, that was cool, man.

Starting point is 00:32:58 I have vivid traumatic memories of learning how to swim. So what did she do? Can we see? So the kid's fully dressed. They're like, hey, come talk to this lady. And watch what they do. Check out the ball. Get in, bitch.

Starting point is 00:33:13 Oh, my God. So I posted this on Twitter. And I was like, would not be my swimming teacher anymore. Like, you're out. And the mirror was like, that's how you do it. I'm like, the kid's fully clothed, is just chilling, has no idea. The kid's going to be fucking terrified of the bull. Well, first of all, once again, this is out of context.

Starting point is 00:33:30 It is out of context, yeah. Because I'm sure this person said to the parents, this is how I do this. And the parents signed off on it. Okay? I mean, the kid might even know. Who knows, you know? I doubt it. I doubt it, too.

Starting point is 00:33:44 But you're right. You're right. It's a three-second video. Yeah, and so now we're like, this person's a monster. I remember learning how to swim. And it wasn't until later my mom's telling me about it. That's really bad looking, though. I remember being in the pool and just yelling.

Starting point is 00:33:57 My mom's sitting on the sideline, and I'm like, help me! You know what I mean? But you were floating. That's very traumatizing. That's traumatizing for me. You figured it out. Yeah, I don't. I mean? But you were floating. That's very traumatizing. You figured it out. Yeah, I don't. I just can't get over that. Oh, man.

Starting point is 00:34:10 And look how angry she is when she starts to push her. Really? She looks evil. Yeah, yeah. She does look evil. She just changes it. She's like, yeah, bitch. Get in there.

Starting point is 00:34:20 You know what it is? It's the follow through that really. She's like this. It's not that this part, this part, it's this part After she's in she goes Yeah Alright Let me just cold hearted

Starting point is 00:34:30 Say something again Yeah, yeah, yeah Let's kill her This is kind of like to me When you're watching American Idol or something One of those shows Okay, take it easy And then they bring the

Starting point is 00:34:38 People are like opening up the envelope And they're like Oh my god, I made it You already know you made it there's a camera there right right right right she's being filmed true this is all for the very good point it doesn't it's not like it's something like ctu camera like the mahomes camera where he didn't know he was being filmed but it's still here's the thing literally holding yeah but that kid make the best point hold on that kid doesn't know that she's being filmed.

Starting point is 00:35:06 It's a baby. Let me make the best. The baby girl has no clue what's going on. I'm going to make the best point here. Go ahead. No matter how they did it. She's Asian. No matter what happened.

Starting point is 00:35:14 No matter what the context here. That's not good for that kid. Yeah. It doesn't matter. Even if you say this is what we're going to do. This is what. It's still not good for the kid. Traumatizing for that fucking kid.

Starting point is 00:35:23 Yeah. I would never fucking use it. Everyone's like well she has to learn to swim there's other ways to do it now i if someone did that to calvin i'd be all over the news i mean i would be strangling people yeah you could call me i'm like you listen yeah i know i know i would drive over that is if you're you know And I would drive over and take it forever to the highway. If you're, you know, if you – this is equivalent to like the mad scientist.

Starting point is 00:35:51 Well, how so? Because you don't know. Like it would be one thing if you're like somebody comes over. I come over and I'm like, hi, I'm going to be teaching Calvin how to swim. Right, right, right, right. I have a somewhat unorthodox technique. And you're kind of like, okay, what does that mean? And then I just – I'm in the pool. I'm like, hey, Calvin.

Starting point is 00:36:05 And you're the dad filming. I mean, at that point, I would want to see the reaction right there. Like, what's the next part of this video? Wait, has Calvin learned to swim yet? Because both my kids have. And she told me, she goes, listen, you don't want to baby him into it. Yeah, of course. But you sure as fuck don't want to shingle or whisk it. Right, right, right. And be like, fuck these kids.

Starting point is 00:36:25 So she's like, come here, boss. And he's like, all right. And then she pulls them in. That was shindler's list. That's what I'm saying. You don't want to shindler's list it. Yeah. Well, there's a way.

Starting point is 00:36:35 You've got to be a little bit like, this is how it is. But you don't got to fucking throw them into the fire. Well, you don't take them by the ankle and just dip them in. That's basically what she did. Hold your breath. That's basically what she did. Yeah, breath. That's basically what she did. Yeah, but what if the next video we see is it worked out? The kid's laughing like, I'm in the pool with my mom.

Starting point is 00:36:51 The baby's got not only her clothes on, she has a jacket on. I know, a puffy jacket. You know what I mean? It's not just like she has clothes on. She's dressed to the nines. I bet the rest of the video is her going, yeah, swim, bitch. Swim, bitch. Come on. That kid was Summer Sanders. Who's that? the nines. I bet the rest of the video is her going, yeah, swim, bitch. Swim, bitch. Come on.

Starting point is 00:37:06 That kid was Summer Sanders. Who's that? Oh, gosh. Olympic swimmer. She was a Nickelodeon host and Olympic swimmer. We found out that's how she learned how to swim. Would it be okay then? Would you look back 10 years later and be like, oh, my kid has six gold medals.

Starting point is 00:37:20 Everyone who's got six gold medals was definitely traumatized. There's no way. Michael Phelps won't stop. Get up there. Jesus Christ. Just be a fish, dude. What who's got six gold medals was definitely traumatized. There's no way. Michael Phelps won't stop. Get up there. Jesus Christ. Just be a fish, dude. What else you got?

Starting point is 00:37:29 I was just curious. On the toilet. Do you guys ever eat food on the toilet? Never. Never. I would never.

Starting point is 00:37:39 I'm not going to show you because I'm on the toilet. I've never done it. Never. Not once. Sometimes I come home from work and I fix a plate and I sit here and eat'm on the toilet. I've never done it. Sometimes I come home from work and I fix a plate

Starting point is 00:37:46 and I sit here and eat food on the toilet while I poo. I was just curious if you guys ever do that. I'll tell you what this is. That's absolutely disgusting. I feel sick right now.

Starting point is 00:38:01 It's more about this guy doesn't like his family. He's trying to hide out. Yeah, this guy hates his family. This is like, you see, this is a common thing. I actually see a lot of memes about this on Instagram. You know, it's like this guy is, he's like, I don't want to eat with my family. My kids are annoying. I've had a long day.

Starting point is 00:38:22 This is the only sanctuary I have. So it tells me a lot about him. It tells me he doesn't have a place in his house to go be alone. Fine. But. Give it to him. Pretend to poop. You don't actually have to take a shit.

Starting point is 00:38:39 Be like, I gotta go take a shit. And then go. I'm gonna eat the meal and you're in peace. Are you saying that while you're making a plate? Are you walking through the house with this plate and you're being like, hey, I'm going to go. Now remember what I like to do. Yeah, I don't.

Starting point is 00:38:53 I just. I can only eat while I'm taking a shit. It's disgusting to smell shit while you're eating. I feel sick. It's disgusting. How about this? How do you still have an appetite when you're smelling shit? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:06 I remember one time I was at a party for a lesbian friend of mine. Is she a mad scientist? She was having a lot of people there. And this one girl who was just like, you know, prototype lesbian. You know what I mean? I know what you mean. Looked like John Crook. You know what I'm mean? I know what you mean. Look like John Crook. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:39:25 I know what you mean, and so does everyone. Yeah, okay. So they can pretend like they don't, but we know exactly what you mean. The kind of scene where you're like this, you know. Yeah. She owned a vest. She looked like Theo on TRT. Went into the, and it was one of these living rooms.

Starting point is 00:39:40 There was a bathroom in the living room. Okay. You all right? So she goes into the bathroom and has the orgasm. Blows it up. Blows it up. That's a bathroom in the living room. Okay. All right. So she goes into the bathroom and has the orgasm. Blows it up. Blows it up. That's some man shit. And just opens the door.

Starting point is 00:39:52 Don't close it. Oh, that's crazy. Ruined the party. I'll never forget it. Hell no. So me and my boy, we were there because we were afraid. And we are just dying laughing. Yeah, I bet.

Starting point is 00:40:03 It's like this kind of thing where you're overcompensating. Yeah, yeah. What manly man would even do that too? You know what I mean? Whatever you're trying to do. Alpha males don't do that. Nobody's like, dude, that's my shit. Now, did she get out?

Starting point is 00:40:15 Did she get out? Did she walk out of the bathroom to the Tim Allen grunt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just was the kind of thing where I was like, what? That's disgusting. It's just, yeah. Chris is so disgusting. I don't like pooped out.

Starting point is 00:40:29 I hate it. I can't do it. I hate having to go to the bathroom when I'm at somebody's place. But if you have to go, you have to go. I don't. I go wherever I have to go. I don't like when people are like, I don't take shits out in public. I go to the nearest toilet. Me too. And I do it. And I'll tell you, I don't like when people are like, I don't take shits out in public. I go to the nearest toilet.

Starting point is 00:40:45 Me too. And I do it. And I'll tell you, I'll go one further. I don't use that bitch ass. Oh, that condom for the toilet. Fuck all that. I shit on the thing you're supposed to shit on. You raw dog.

Starting point is 00:40:55 A raw dog. Yeah, man. I wipe it off. Shit is. Well, if it looks gross, I'll wipe it off. Not if it doesn't. If it doesn't look gross. It's gross.

Starting point is 00:41:04 I'm game, bro. I think shit. You know what's gross? The shit coming out of my ass. I'm fine. I feel sick. We're going to eat after this too, fellas. Do you ever got dookie on your finger by accident? Game over.

Starting point is 00:41:16 Someone else's? Yeah. For weeks. Oh, yours. Sorry. For weeks. Game over. You have to use soap and water.

Starting point is 00:41:21 Good luck, bro. Oh, yeah. You're not washing long enough. I barely ever get dookie on my finger, man. It's very rare, but it happens. What? That's insane, right? I got to shower after I shit.

Starting point is 00:41:35 This thing is sloppy. That's why I started eating my daily greens. There's a kid choice award slime event. You use psyllium husk. If you take psyllium husk,k I wipe you don't have to though What are you talking about? It comes out What's this poop voodoo you're talking about?

Starting point is 00:41:52 Selium husk Then you hear a splash Sploosh sploosh Yeah Then the water comes up Yup Dude you know how sometimes You gotta wipe like 11 times

Starting point is 00:42:00 That's when I I know this is a shower one After like the third wipe I'm like Babe I gotta is a shower one after like the third wipe i'm like babe i gotta take a shower i'm all about a shower damn five grand for what the hell is that i have a hairy ass so i just want to make sure it's a smart toilet does anyone have a smart house is anyone born with a smooth ass even asians for new year, we stayed at a hotel in Malibu.

Starting point is 00:42:25 What a stupid thing. That had one of these kind of toilets in there. And I was like, oh, this is a game changer. I don't like it. It had like a whole display. I've been there. It feels like they're filming you. I don't like it.

Starting point is 00:42:35 You just press the buttons. I don't like it. You don't like a good toilet washer? When it's warm, the bidet at the... No, I don't need that. Oh, I have one. I don't like that. It gives me an erection.

Starting point is 00:42:43 I'm just sitting there. I can get an erection if I want to. No, it'll give you one. It just blows the hot water right on your tank. You're like, you know what? Well, you're missing the thing. You got to adjust it. It's not supposed to.

Starting point is 00:42:55 No, you can mess with it. It goes whatever direction you want. I know. Where is it going? Yeah. What are we talking about here? It's supposed to hit. Do work, daddy.

Starting point is 00:43:03 It's supposed to hit the bullseye. It's supposed to hit the butthole. Yeah. You just, you know. We can control it. It goes all over. Where's it hitting for you? Do work, daddy. You're supposed to hit the butthole. Beacon control. Where's it hitting for you? You have to have the oscillating one too. Yeah. Like a hot tub. You know what's crazy? Afterwards, you still

Starting point is 00:43:17 got to wipe 15 times. Now it's wet. It's just water. It doesn't clean. I wish there was a brush that would come out and kind of like... No, it's wet. No, but I mean, it doesn't. It's just water. It's supposed to clean. It doesn't clean. That's why I don't like it. Don't have me do more things. A brush should come out and kind of like. Yeah, and it goes inside.

Starting point is 00:43:29 Yeah. Oh, wait, no, sorry. I don't. It should come out and just. Like a tongue? Like, yeah. Man, me and you on Shark Tank. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:43:42 Yeah, dog. I want there to be a little man under there. Call it the tonguer. Hey, what I mean? Yeah, dog. I want there to be a little man under there. Call it the tonger. Hey, I got you. Little toy. What, he's just in there? Eating a lot of corn. I still say there should be like a camera with like a, you know,

Starting point is 00:43:54 like a seed. Again. You need psyllium husk. Jesus, man. He's happy today. What have you been eating? He just lives in the toilet. Don't flush yet.

Starting point is 00:44:09 No, no, no. Don't flush yet. Dude, I don't care about that. If you get psyllium husk. Would you shut up about psyllium husk? Yes, and I get it, and I would, except for it's that good. You start taking that, man. How have you not taken this?

Starting point is 00:44:28 You don't have to wipe. You have ass problems? You don't have to wipe. I do, and I have a hairy ass, bro, and you don't have to wipe. You have to wipe. Well, I understand, and I do every single time, naturally, of course, but you don't have to. Look at the guy in the bottle. That makes me want to buy it.

Starting point is 00:44:42 I take the good kind, though, not the Metamucil is like. That doesn't look trustworthy. No, that's what I'm saying. That's the most trustworthy guy on the bottle. That makes you want to buy it. I take the good kind, though. The Metamucil is like... That doesn't look trustworthy. No, that's what I'm saying. A guy that looks like that is the most trustworthy guy on the planet. He's an Indian chef. He's got nothing to lose, that guy. That's the guy in the beginning of Aladdin who's like,

Starting point is 00:44:59 Pistachios! Alright, what's up? We've seen this guy before. Golden Hour Crew. If you guys had a beer. That's your boy Nolan in Northern California. That is my boy. I just finished watching the last Patreon episode,

Starting point is 00:45:10 and Chris brought up how his dad wouldn't even peel the Monopoly stickers off of McDonald's cups because he didn't want to get caught by them. Yeah. And I thought that was pretty funny, and it got me thinking about things that my dad said when I was younger that stuck with me. So I was wondering if you guys had memories of things your parents might have said that were just like throw away things to them they probably don't remember but like struck you in a way that you didn't forget

Starting point is 00:45:32 and you remember for me i was at in and out with my dad when i was like eight or nine and he thought i was eating too slow uh i was eating one french fry at a time and he goes why do you eat one french fry at a time you could eat three french fries at a time and you're going to be done three times faster and to this day i won't eat one french fry at a time dude that's so funny that shit do you guys have any uh any stuff like that that stuck with you that your parents said when you were young um oh yeah thank you and buzz buzz sore i like Yeah. I mean, I have so many of those. My favorite thing about those things, my favorite thing about those things, and I think about this all the time.

Starting point is 00:46:12 I think about this more than I think about the things, is you don't ever know when those moments are about to happen. And it's so interesting that just at any moment something could happen that's going to stick with you the rest of your life. It downloads for whatever reason. It's insane. And it's always something that kind of doesn't really matter. Obviously if something is a big thing you'll remember it.

Starting point is 00:46:36 But that shit, I think about that all the time. What were you going to say? Well I just remember I couldn't have the light on in the car. Because it was illegal and you can get shot. Yeah. Huh?

Starting point is 00:46:51 That's what my mom used to say. Oh. If the light was on, this is how you can get shot. People thought that forever. Okay. And I was like, you don't know how that stuck with me. So I would be like, I'm 19 in the car. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:06 Light comes on and I'm like, you know. Yeah. Just like a natural being like oh i gotta turn that even to them that's a little bit of a bigger one than that though yeah that's kind of a very small trauma thing like that's to be like oh i don't get shot but like i had one pushed into the pool right yeah right that's a bigger one but uh i had one like that that's just like that my. My mom would always say, she would just say, eat all your food or you're going to get sick. Like, eat or you're going to get sick. You got to eat. Did you eat? You're going to get sick.

Starting point is 00:47:32 And it was like, it fucked me up. And until I was like well in my 30s. Like, I'm talking about well in my 30s to where I was like, dude, I actually, I don't have to eat if I'm not hungry. And I'll feel fine. And I'll be okay. Like, I just, it was a tape that I played in my head that I just never was like, put pause on. I was like, wait, what's this all about?

Starting point is 00:47:51 Do you remember the moment where you were like, oh, my parents are stupid. Full of shit. You know what I mean? Like, there's like, there is a moment you have where you're like, you're just like, oh. Oh, you're lying. you're just like, oh. Oh, you're lying.

Starting point is 00:48:09 Or they're just liars. They're not stupid, but they're liars. No, no, no. Parents become, they don't, they, especially, and this, I know I could get sad for this, but especially moms, because a lot of moms, a lot of moms, especially in the past, have been stay-at-home moms, right? And so they take care of the kids. Once the kid grows up and is out of the house,

Starting point is 00:48:29 they go like this. And they just don't know what to do, so they just start lying. They just become liars. That's what happens. To make their lives interesting. Dudes are like, oh, I can't lie.

Starting point is 00:48:41 I got to go to work. Yeah. Women are like, you know, they'll like read on Facebook and they'll be like, oh. And you're like, I can't lie. I got to go to work. Women are like, you know, they'll read on Facebook and they'll be like, oh. And you're like, that's a lie. And they're just like, now they're in their own world. My pops had a few things I remember.

Starting point is 00:48:54 They both hurt my feelings. In sports, whatever, like if I'd be into the game plan or something like that, even now with business, he'll always say, keep it simple, stupid. I'm like, all right, quit calling me stupid. always say keep it simple stupid like all right quit calling me stupid because say keep it simple stupid whenever something seems like overwhelming keep it simple stupid and then he gave me body dysmorphia because i was young he has no idea about this i was young it's probably six or seven and he used to get that uh you know the ice cream that comes in vanilla chocolate strawberry cosmopolitan yeah no no no uh no, no. Neapolitan. Neapolitan, yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:25 It's my favorite, but he'd always get it. And I remember I got home from- Totally different ice cream. Yeah, yeah. You said it wasn't going to make me feel it. But I remember he bought a new thing of it. Again, we'd have a lot of money. It was like the bullshit Albertsons one or the Ralphs one, the regular brand.

Starting point is 00:49:41 I came home from school. I was so excited to eat it. For whatever reason, I ate all of it my dad must have had a long day at work he was probably banking on that ice cream came home

Starting point is 00:49:49 and I was like laying on the couch like this watching fucking whatever bubble guppies or something no yeah

Starting point is 00:49:55 basically he was like where's the ice cream I was like what do you mean he's like where's that ice cream and I was like oh I ate it

Starting point is 00:50:01 and he's like oh you fat cow wow I mean and I just remember being like huh oh, I ate it. And he's like, oh, you fat cow. Wow. I mean. And I just remember being like, what? Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, since probably six years. I got one.

Starting point is 00:50:10 I was like, oh. It just downloaded fat cow. Interesting. Into my bones. Didn't that suck? Didn't that wear? He was just having a day. He didn't mean to.

Starting point is 00:50:17 I know. He was probably just long day. He was just having a day. He was going through a divorce, too, so he's super stressed out. He's like, God, fucking fat cow. People are selfish. There used to be this restaurant called Carnation. Fat cow.

Starting point is 00:50:27 And my mom and I would go to this restaurant all the time. It was on Wilshire. And it was like the Carnation ice cream company. But they had this diner. And I remember my mom ordered a shake. And she was like, we're going to share. Okay? Pretty expensive, yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:42 And this, she drank the whole damn thing did you hit her like this too that's fucked up bro oh wow how old were you i was like i was i was traumatized yeah one of those days yeah she was just having the day she was like nah i'm drinking all this yeah fuck this i was like you selfish it's not even like i brought it up for a year yeah yeah forever i was like remember the time you drank that shit yeah good and you know what it's not even like And I brought it up for years Yeah Forever I was like remember the time You drank that shit Yeah Good And you know what

Starting point is 00:51:08 It's not about her being selfish It's about Hey Not only am I drinking this You're not getting any Yeah You're not getting any She left me like

Starting point is 00:51:16 It was like The amount where you like I don't even want it now Right right right I Rachel's like that Yeah yeah yeah Well there you go

Starting point is 00:51:24 You marry your mother That's what happens. That's what I always say. I was like, I can't believe this. I had a one time – one time. One time. This is exactly like what this guy is talking about. My dad – I was eating a Nutri-Grain bar.

Starting point is 00:51:37 And I said, hey, dad, how come you don't ever eat like Nutri-Grain bars? You don't eat those. And he says, they make your butt fat. That's what I do to my kids. They make your butt fat. That's exactly what I was crazy about. I just put myself as like, you're an impressionable young kid.

Starting point is 00:51:57 Exactly. Your parents are basically God. There's no Google. I was way young. They just say what they say and you're just like, oh no. I was young. I was way young. They just say what they say and you're just like, oh no. I mean,

Starting point is 00:52:07 I was like nine or 10. Like that's the word. They make it up that I never ate another Nutri-Gain bar until I was 20 something. I was going to say, cut to him bringing

Starting point is 00:52:16 Nutri-Gain bars home for Kristen. Babe, I got some Nutri-Gain bars for you. And then she eats some of it. My dad's around. My dad's like, hell yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:29 That's what I'm talking about. Oh, you're trying to make her butt fat? Wow, that's – yeah, no. And even to this day, I think about it. Did you do any of that stuff with Calvin? Like with sugar. Like if they're eating too much sugar, he'll be like – You don't even know.

Starting point is 00:52:41 Tiger will be like, Daddy, why aren't you eating the candy? I'm like, I don't eat candy. I want to be big and strong. He's like, oh, okay. And he goes, does Tom Brady, he loves Tom Brady. He goes, does Tom Brady eat candy? I go, he's never tried it. Wow.

Starting point is 00:52:52 He doesn't eat that. I go, nope. Just a liar. Well, you got it. Watch. You know what's going to happen when Tom Brady's like, I eat Snickers. Yeah. Your kid's going to be like, he's going to be dead by the time he realizes that.

Starting point is 00:53:02 But yeah. You know what's, okay, here's something my mom did to me i'll never forget this too she used to always tell me that there was a bad school okay so like if i would act up she'd be like i'm gonna send you to the bad school you know and so one day i do this she picked up the dude she had the phone and she was like hi the bad school yeah i had to send him to you she was like i'm, the bad school. Yeah, I had to send him to you. The bad school. She was like, I'm going to send it. And then I had to get on the phone. It's not even creative. I had to get on the phone, and I was like, I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:53:31 I promise I won't. Don't, you know. And I was like. No one was even on the line. And I think about it now, and I think to myself, no one was on the line. She was holding, and you know it was old school. It was like a deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:40 So she's got to hold the duck. You know what I mean? And I'm thinking to myself, I think back now, I was like, oh, man. Wow, that's funny. Like, that is, you know, that is like, you ever think, like, things you used to do as a kid, and you look back on it and go, like, oh, I would, like, I used to think I could sneak out of, like, I'd be sitting next to my mom with the covers. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:00 And I used to think that I could, like like a ninja sneak through the covers and go out Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't see me. Oh, yeah But you look back. It's like she was probably like this But but I always remember the one time I knew that it actually worked because I would jump, I jumped out and was like, boom! She was so scared. I actually realized, that's why I'm like that now.

Starting point is 00:54:32 My mom and I used to scare each other. I was the only child, she was a single parent and we would scare each other. I would like, stop hitting the thing. I'm sorry. So you're like that now?

Starting point is 00:54:44 Oh yeah. You're reenacting trauma, great. Yeah. She doesn't know I'm home. So you're like that now? Oh, yeah. You're reenacting trauma. Great. Yeah. She doesn't know I'm home. She's up on the third floor. And I come and she's in the shower. And I come and go, Rachel!

Starting point is 00:54:53 And she's like, ah! Oh, man. I hate you for that. Yeah, I don't like being scared. I'd punch. I'd punch. I used to scare my dad. I used to scare my dad all the time.

Starting point is 00:55:02 I used to scare him all the time. I'd hide in the closet where he'd hang his coat home from work. So I'd be like in the closet. I'd wait for him. And then I'd scare him. And I'd just run and grab him. He was like, don't do it again. I was like, never did again.

Starting point is 00:55:13 Check it out. Never did again. You know what? You got him. Yeah. That's stupid, bro. It's worth it. When you make your dad grab you and be like, don't you ever do that.

Starting point is 00:55:26 God. I never did it again, though. I don't do that shit. I like being scared. Hate it. But when kids figure that stuff out, all it's going to take is Calvin to scare you one time, and you have a big reaction, and he's going to be the spooky monster for like six months. You're going to have to be like, Calvin?

Starting point is 00:55:47 That's cute. I'll have a good time. I'm going to encourage it. I'm going to come over and go scare daddy. Hey, guys. I'm calling you from Oregon. And I kind of wanted your opinion on something. So my husband and I, we've been married for 11 years.

Starting point is 00:56:04 And the issue is I'm not a big cuddler at night and he likes to cuddle all night and I'm not about it love him to death but you know what you're waking me up so I just wanted to know

Starting point is 00:56:19 cuddling with your wives at night or having your own space love you guys, I saw you in Portland. You're amazing Can't wait to see Brendan and Eric soon. Thank you. No, she's nice. I was in Portland I can't believe you got a seat. It was fucking back to the gills Rafter was gonna take it early Well, you're right. Yeah do both My show because

Starting point is 00:56:40 You're right. You got to do both. Just cuddle. You should definitely cuddle on my show because it was shoulder to shoulder. So thanks. Cuddle. Forced to cuddle. What are you, performing in a barn?

Starting point is 00:56:52 Big one. So. To your point, you got to do both. Cuddle at the beginning, then go separate ways. Yeah, and then you peel off. Then you go on your own. It gets too hot and shit. Oh, yeah. Right?

Starting point is 00:56:59 Yeah, women are a furnace at night. Like 6,000 degrees. I don't get it. Man, my son is at the point where he's kind of like running into my room and i love that oh dude he gets in and man the other night i didn't i was like half asleep but he got in and i pulled him in and i i held him and then i realized like because i was like half asleep i realized like we we've been there for like we've been doing this for like 15 minutes and he was just i was like man it felt so good dude and then i was like it's actually too hot yeah it's so hot that's why i just pull you on

Starting point is 00:57:30 and they don't stop moving i know i know he these little pictures be doing you're right he was upside down when he woke up yeah yeah but um but for that moment he was just chilling i think he fell asleep amazing cozy i always like what i'll do is rachel loves to cuddle so cuddle cuddle cuddle when i'm sick of cuddling i bet you're fun to cuddle bro ah just eric looks cuddly as fuck bro i'll snuggle um but then what i i just like i'll just start like sniffing her hair or something like that maybe she's like okay okay i'm done. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. Okay. Good. Eric, first team all snuggly, huh?

Starting point is 00:58:08 Yeah. He looks snuggly. You hit my shoulder too many times this episode. Again? I'm trying to work on it. I think it might have been the most. You're not working on it, dude. Can we get a counter?

Starting point is 00:58:17 It might have been the most you ever hit my shoulder. I'm sorry. How about just a montage? In the. In the. In the. Just bruised here's the thing it's it's it i don't hate being touched in the same place over and over again it's like

Starting point is 00:58:32 fucking water torture i'm sorry man nah i don't know if you're sorry no i'll work on the next episode but it's patreon and not the the people aren't going to see it yeah so i'll see it for next week no do it also on the Patreon episode because I don't want you to be fucking hitting me. Dude, it's from here to here, dude. And it's so goddamn annoying, dude. But it's like cut to you at the doctor. I'm not sure.

Starting point is 00:59:01 I don't know what's going on. Yeah, they say, well, what happened? Two girls in a row. Was the last one Nick? Yeah. All right. I'm starving. So I'm out know what's going on. Yeah, they say, well, what happened? Two girls in a row. Was the last one, Nick? Yeah. All right. I'm starving. So I'm out here walking with my dog.

Starting point is 00:59:09 Okay. And I bought some chairs today. Okay. I bought some bar stools. And I, hey, I had to put them together. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah, it's a nightmare. What the fuck is up with that?

Starting point is 00:59:24 Yeah. Why? Hey, I already paid for it's a nightmare. Um, what the fuck is up with that? Yeah, why? Hey, I already paid for it. I agree. I know. It should already come put together. Yeah, I ruined one of the pieces of wood. Of course. Because I had to put it together. You shredded it. Right? You shredded it. Yeah. Um, I'm just wondering what your opinion on that is. Why the fuck? And it's not like I got it from Ikea.

Starting point is 00:59:46 I bought it from a furniture store. Oh, wow. And it came unassembled. Have them bring it with it assembled, yeah. Duh. She's funny. Whatever noises you guys do now and stuff. Caw-caw.

Starting point is 00:59:59 I don't know. Woo-woo-woo! Yeah, I agree, dude. I hate that shit I there's a nightstand in a box at my place right now tonight man that I'm using the box is a nice thing that I've been meaning to put together for Rachel for like six months now it's just sitting there it's exhausting you know it's like anything like that now I'm like I don't care I'll pay the extra yeah, like I just bought this new I had to got this new TV, right?

Starting point is 01:00:28 So then like, you know, whatever TV the TV, but it is a nice TV. It's like 85 inch 85 I didn't know was as big When you're in the store, right? Wow, that's all you're a dummy for that Yeah, this will be a good one. Yeah, and then the guys are like, I was like, I said, let me pay for the installation. I know already.

Starting point is 01:00:51 Of course. These dudes, they had to put it together outside. They had to put all the stuff, take it out of the box, and do all the stuff, and then carry it in. And I'm like, yeah. So worth it. It's worth it. Fuck yeah. Like, I'm not doing all that.

Starting point is 01:01:04 I can't. I agree with you. If you have to put your TV together outside, it's too big. Too big. And that's what she said. But also, I ordered some bar stools and it just didn't come with the screws. See, that's the thing. They're like, my bad. We'll send them. Oh, what

Starting point is 01:01:19 takes me off is like... Look at him literally holding it so he won't do it. That's what I'm doing. That's what I'm working on. All right, thanks. Rachel put together this night, just like dresser drawer thing. And then I came home, and she was like, I did it.

Starting point is 01:01:42 Dude, this is so stereotypical. There's pieces that she didn't. Wow, that's then she's like and i did she goes can you also like tighten all the screws because it was too hard and i was like no i'm doing it now i'm doing it why did you put it together you didn't put it together yeah you did you didn't finish your job so now i have to like and then one of the drawers won't go in right you know fuck dude and then and then you know you have to you know your place sucks you don't want to yeah you you don't want to be this guy too like you know babe yeah yeah yeah yeah because then she's looking at you like you know they have to be like it's okay oh it's not faster but it's good to go and i'll yell i'll do it i'll be the bad guy that's not

Starting point is 01:02:23 okay you know it's not okay you're doing this to Eric, right? I'd be like, it's good to go, babe. The whole thing was rickety as hell. Yeah, of course it was. And I was like, why did you do this? But it was like for spite because it was like I was supposed to already have done it. I get it. And you should have.

Starting point is 01:02:39 Probably. Yeah. But I'm out of town. I was like, just wait. Right. I'll do this when I get. I would have left it and been like, let's see how it goes. I'm just moving forward.

Starting point is 01:02:47 I'm not buying furniture unless they have a, the people come put it together. Yeah. And by the way, here's a tip for you too. Like if you're getting something delivered. Okay. You don't necessarily have to pay the company. No, no, no. Pay the guys that drop it off.

Starting point is 01:03:01 Give them cash. Because they'll say that too. They'll be like, oh man, you should have just. Yeah. What? They'll be like, oh, if you just give us us $200 cash, we'll put it together right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of whatever, $500 from the company.

Starting point is 01:03:10 No, even. Oh, no, because the money just goes to them. Yeah, because they just want the money direct. Yeah. See? Good. Thank you. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:15 I'm going to come with a pad. I'm going to have a pad on this side. So stupid. Don't touch it. But it's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a whole big. Is that it, Nicholas?

Starting point is 01:03:24 That's it. Oklahoma City this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Oklahoma City, Brickstown Comedy Club. When does this come out? And then end of the month, Thursday. Same time every day. Thursday. So this Thursday, Friday, Saturday, it's Oklahoma City, Brickstown Comedy Club.

Starting point is 01:03:39 Show's almost sold out. And then March, I forget, but March 23rd through the 25th, I'm in Tacoma, Washington, Tacoma Comic Club. Come get you some. Then my tour starts in June in the U.K. It's London, Glasgow, Dublin, Manchester, all over. Kansas City, I'll see you tonight. Kansas City, Missouri, I'll see you tonight.

Starting point is 01:04:00 Springfield, Missouri, I'll see you tomorrow. Tulsa, Oklahoma, Midland, Texas, Austin. Oh, I'm doing Irvine, Brea, and Oxnard. And then Milwaukee and Minneapolis. Those are the... And then Ohio. Go to chrislea.com. I got tickets.

Starting point is 01:04:12 All right. My big tour is I'm going to the Boys and Girls Club of Santa Rosa. That's March 11th, which is... That's in two days, I guess, from now. Then I'm going to be in the Blue Room, Springfield. Oh, my favorites. April 13th through the 15th. And then the Louisville Comedy Club, April 20th to the 22nd.

Starting point is 01:04:31 I got some other stuff coming. You made up all those places. He's not on tour. He made up all those places. And we're done. Yeah, and like and subscribe. And thanks, guys. Love you guys.

Starting point is 01:04:42 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Субтитры подогнал «Симон»

The Golden Hour - Reliving Childhood Trauma | The Golden Hour #19 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

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