The Golden Hour - Silly Supplements | The Golden Hour #72 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: March 22, 2024

The guys discuss farting in front of significant others, the Ozempic controversy, Kristin Wiig's glow-up, an all new "Yes My Shoes/Yeesh My Drip" segment, sneaker shopping, wearing open toe sandals on a flight, the new Dune 2 movie and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast Nugenix - Get a complimentary bottle of Nugenix Total T plus a bottle of Nugenix Thermo X FREE when you text GOLDEN to 231-231.

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Ooh, yeah It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power

Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour Okay, I want to say something. What, man? You missed a fantastic surprise birthday party for Brendan. Oh, that's right. You know? But I want to tell you this.

You're a bad friend. So his new tax guy, or his whatever he does. Financial guy. His financial guy decided to give a speech. Jan, he's 74, though. Listen, listen. He's still giving the speech. Wow.

It was long. Chris, it was really long. Oh, wow. It wasn't terrible. He got a bold score. It was a eulogy. Everyone's talking. He's going, ding, ding, ding.

I went, no. He's 42 now. Yeah. Oh, he really is. No, no, no, no, no. He's been talking too long. All right, he's 42 now. I was like, it went so long.

We were kind of like, okay. He's telling the whole story. Started getting into his background. Yeah. Because I'm a fighter and a race car driver, man. I started in the streets of Brooklyn. I was like, yo. My grandparents met.

Dude, my... I like that. My Kristen said, your wife reached out to Kristen and said, I want to make sure Chris can be in town. My wife messed it up. Gave her the wrong dates want to make sure Chris can be in town. My wife messed it up. Gave her the wrong dates. Said he's going to be in town. She's like, what if we do it on a Thursday or something?

What was it? On a Thursday? Yeah. And he was like, yeah, it should work out. Did not. She didn't know you were on the road. She did not know I was on the road. And it is, I don't want to throw her under the bus, but.

You just threw her under the bus. That shit ain't my fault. Hey. Daddy has to work. Whoops. You did send me a nice video. I did. I sent you a video.

Right to camera. Kristen, you fucked us. No, but we actually both. You ruined my birthday. No, we felt so bad, though. No, it's all good. I know, but I feel bad because I could have made it work. We had the only baby there.

I thought it was going to be like. I'm glad you brought him, though. No, but Rachel was like talking to Wolf. She's like, Boston's going to be there. I know. And usually my kids are always there. And she was like, it's just going to be you and me, not the kids. And I was like, oh, which I always want them around.

She's like, be cool. The kids aren't coming. I have to leave baseball early. So she was like fighting with me. I had no clues or surprises. Wow, that's great. Because somebody was taking our picture up front. I was like, who the fuck is that?

She's like, I don't know, paparazzi. I'm like, I'm not that famous. That's hilarious. I was like, that doesn't make sense. It's just one person. Yeah, I was like, for this restaurant? Why here? Yeah, yeah.

Well, that's why it's kind of believable, because I'm like, one person? Yeah, maybe. Maybe the restaurant knows. Like, she just started it. Yeah, you know? Maybe I'll- I'm getting my feet wet. I'm new.

But I had no clue. I walked in. Yeah, no clue. Get your feet wet. I'm new. But I had no clue. I walked in. Yeah. Get your feet wet with shop. Get wet, girl. Yeah. It was nice, though. It was nice.

I wish I went, yeah. It sounds fun. Who else was there? Nick was... One of his old producers was there. Nick was there. It was really interesting. His first producer ever, he was like, Evan the Baird.

Oh, really? No. Oh. there really interesting um his first producer ever he was like evan the beard oh really no oh anyway i was um george was in i was in uh shreveport how shreveport bro it's crazy there it's just like they it's it's like you know it's in louisiana and it's they have it's a, you know, it's in Louisiana, and it's a casino town, but you can't have casinos there, so they put them on the river. Oh, because they're on boats. Well, not really.

I mean, yeah, but they're also, they build them out on the lake, and they're not mobile. It's just crazy. It's just crazy. It's so crazy. Were you at a casino or a theater? I was at a theater. I stayed at a casino, though.

It's so weird, dude. It is weird. It's just a weird. It's like America. It's so America, but it's like this part of America that I just never deal with. It's in the swamp. I mean, a few. Did you watch True Blood?

That's where that was filmed, I think. Oh, really? No, but I watched the first season of Ozark. It was like that, you know. in the swamp i mean if you watch true blood that's where that was filmed i think oh really i know but i watched the first season of ozark it was like that you know but that's uh missouri right yeah yeah no true in atlanta yeah oh yeah and he got recognized from our viral video when i'm poor black dude walked up to me he was like yo bro what i know you he was like i know you from a video and i was like oh with the atlanta oh you knew yeah and he was like yo bro what i know you he was like i know you from a video and i was like oh with the atlanta oh you knew yeah and he was like oh yeah that's it that shit is bro i feel like when i go back to atlanta it's gonna be a fucking problem i don't i think it's gonna be lit it'll be lit

no it'll be lit in the front yeah yeah yeah nick cannon yeah no it'll be lit but there will also because anytime something gets big enough people love it and then hate it you should pull up Nick Cannon commented on Chris on the video he said wait till he goes to Africa yeah yeah

and I agree wait till I go I'm gonna go and I feel like Chris should have commented back you're half the problem why there's so many black people you and Tyler Perry

no Nick Cannon has 100 kids. Oh, my God. Yeah. He does have so many kids. Wait until you discover this land called Africa. Hashtag mind blown. I'm a Nick Cannon.

I like Nick Cannon. That's such a weird thing. That ad lets you know how viral that video went within the black community. I'm just telling you. I know, but I got it even. Kerry Hilson posted it, which is even more, I think. No, the Nick Cannon. I'm just telling you. I know, but I got an even, Kerry Hilson posted it, which is even more, I think. No, the Nick Cannon?

No, no, no, she's not bigger, but she's been around, and she's like, Kerry Hilson, that's hilarious. I almost said blacker. Oh my God. Cool, because I was like, bigger than Nick Cannon,

and then I was like, oh, you mean blacker, and that's not like, that seems racist. Guys, but you know what I mean. I did a thing than Nick Cannon. Then I was like, oh, you mean blacker. And that's not what, that seems racist. Guys. But you know what I mean. I did a thing with Nick Cannon once. I can't remember what it was.

It was like a sketch. I did it with him in, no, it was for Comedy Central. I can't remember what it was. Anyway, go ahead. I'm on my way home from Atlanta. I'm on the plane. I didn't get to upgrade. So I'm sitting in the emergency row.

Not terrible. There's a captain who's just traveling next to me. He's got the uniform on. Weird that they wear the full uniform. Yeah, what are you doing? Like the Marines. It's like I always think it's weird that baseball managers wear the – Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Stupid, right? You don't play. It would be like Pat Riley didn't have like booty shorts on with a – Just wear a suit. Yeah. So then somebody farted. Listen.

I do that. No, no, no, dude. Somebody farted in a way that this is – I almost went like this. Who the fuck farted? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Yeah. Come on.

It was on a level where I was like – Was that bad? I fart, okay? No, someone shit. Because what are you supposed to do? I'm next to the window. Hold it. You can't even leave.

But here's the thing, though. There's a controlled release that is etiquette fart. Like, if I have to fart, you don't go, whoo. You go, psst. Oh, really? You let it out. This one, like like that's crazy and when you're like you know in one row you know it stinks so bad that it's either the three people in front of you the three people

behind you that's or the two guys next you always look for the guy that turns on the air though that's the game you look for the guy that turns on the air the guy that turns on the air i'm like he farted this was like but that's the game i want to ask you guys That's why it's okay Who was it though? Oh it was me huh? No it could be the loudest fart in the world No one's going to hear shit No I know I know I know

But I'm saying You gotta just let it rip daddy I cannot stress to you How funky this was It just It was a problem Someone was sick Someone was maybe sick

No And I was just thinking to myself Or healthy Or really really really healthy. Well, you know what it is? What are you supposed to do? I get it. I know what it is.

There's a Papa Do's at the Atlanta airport. Have you had Papa Do's? The Creole fish? No, it sounds like it makes you smell. They have that jambalaya will make you shit your pants. That's what happened. This was so bad. It's not good.

And I thought to myself, should I have said something? Because I think the way I say something, I think a lot of people would have started laughing or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But at the same time- But I was still- I thought I was going to be more mad because I was just like- What would you have said something? Because I think the way I say something, I think a lot of people would have started laughing or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But I was still, I thought I would be more mad. What would you have done though? I just wanted to say like, come on, somebody say excuse me or something. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? Say excuse me. Can I get an excuse real quick? What about? I've come out of it, but I used to have a real job way back in the day. If I went into the bathroom and I tore it up, I would come out and go, that's going to need a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. This is what I'm like. Does your wife, when your kids fart, does she make them say, excuse me? No, no. You talked about this. It drives me nuts. That's so funny. This is funny.

I think that this is really funny the way you think it's nuts. It drives me nuts. I don't disagree with you. We're not the royal family. Let it rip, dude. You're in your room. Like, Tiger will fart, and he's a big kid. He'll fart.

And then my girl will be like, what do you say? He's like, excuse me. I'm like, no, you don't. No, you don't. No, no, no. You don't do that. You're undermining us. That's hilarious, dude.

People that fart and say, excuse me, drive Teslas. Don't do that. That's so funny. Dude. Have you ever heard of, have you ever farted? Excuse me. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, actually. Because we're Americans, right? Actually, you know, you fart, and then you just lock eyes with your me. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, actually. Because we're Americans, right? Actually, you know, you fart and then you just lock eyes with your wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go like this. Yeah. I've never farted in front of my girl. Never.

What? Keep it sexy. She's never farted in front of me, not once. That's okay. I understand that because, you know, females. She's never farted in front of your. She's a princess. Where do you fart?

Yeah. I'll pull the silencer. I'll grab a cushion. What if it smells? I toss it. That's not how farts work, man. Yeah, it is. Fart. Try it.

Dude, hold on a second. Wait. Hold on a second. We've been together 10 years. 11 years. Not once. Your wife's Mexican. She's farting. Okay, so hold on a second because this is something. We've been together a while. Ten years? Ten years? Eleven years? Not once. But not.

Your wife's Mexican, so she's farting. She'd be farting. I swear on my life, never. Okay, hold on. Hold on. On the kids. Fine, I understand. So you never let one out and it was smelly?

No. No? I'll go elsewhere. We have a big house, right? I'll go elsewhere. I'll go outside. I'll be like, I left something outside. We got a big house. This sounds crazy to go elsewhere. I'll go outside. I'll be like, I left something outside. We got a big house.

This sounds crazy to me. That's- Keep it sexy, man. It's crazy how it hasn't happened. It's sexy to fart, bro, and own it and look in her eyes. And if I have to take a shit, I go downstairs. Oh, this is crazy, bro. This is crazy talk.

Rachel shits with the door open. You know what I mean? Yeah. Chris and I shit together. I go, she sits on my lap. There's a couple that does that, though lap There's a couple that does that though There's a couple that does that though They have toilets right next to each other

And you're doing like this No we don't do that together That's disgusting But That's pretty funny actually But Even my daughter Like I change diapers

I'm a beast at it If she takes shit Tell my girl Nope So you only do peepees Yep only peepees That's hilarious dude you're a weirdo huh i mean we're all weird in our own ways oh i like the other day the other day

the other day my kid is like she rachel's taking the diaper off we're sitting there with him and you know and then you know you know he's cries sometimes but when he gets quiet that's the the storm is coming oh so he gets quiet and he just fucking pees oh yeah right then he locks it was funny so funny he lock eyes with rachel and then he just shits oh great and the way he did it i was like yeah hey nick look at your mom's eyes and you just shit on that table you're in a new relationship you guys be farting around each other uh i mean try to keep it quiet but i got i got some stomach issues once in a while so it's it's unavoidable you'll be letting them rip huh no i'll

i'll try to you know do the best i can eat them out i do listen i do the best i can this is my stomach issues i'm gonna be doing the best i can if one leaks out one leaks out is that a press conference he makes it sound like they're gonna like one's gonna slip out then the whole house is gonna go quiet you know what i mean like one's going to slip out, then the whole house is going to go quiet. You know what I mean? He's going to be with his wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to look at each other, and then that's going to be it? That's it.

I want a divorce. Get out. She farts, I go, get out. Nick, so you have a – how early in the relationship were you just ripping farts in front of her? I'm not ripping farts He's not ripping farts bro You're putting words in his mouth

It's happened You're putting farts in his butt Yeah It's happened Sounds like he has an issue right No man You're kind of making it He just said he has a stomach issue

Yeah yeah yeah But the way you're doing it You're like leading it You're leading it You're doing like what journalists do You're like Okay so you have farted You know

I mean I don't know She's in front of me Chin when you had a girlfriend Would you fart in front of her? There's two instances. In Korea, if you fart or sneeze, the women, they get killed, right? If you leave the windows closed, yeah. Achoo! Just with a sword?

Yeah, a samurai sword? No, but every man... Every guy's got a sword on his back. And he's like... Who was it? Who was it? That's Japanese, man. I know.

Jim, what were you saying? It's more aggressive when That's Japanese, man. I know. What were you saying? It's more aggressive when it's Japanese. One of my first long-term girlfriends, she said that we should fart in front of each other to bond more. That was a weird thing, so we did it. It was so weird. You guys broke up, right? We broke up.

And then the second girlfriend. Casey. No, no. Second girlfriend, we went camping. She accidentally farted. Hilarious. So I purposely farted to make her feel better. You guys broke up, right?

We broke up, yeah. Hey, Casey. You fart in front of your girl? No. Boom. Classic. Yeah, you're not supposed to. I mean, yeah.

Whatever. East Coast etiquette. This is all nonsense. Kevin, you be farting in front of your girl? Right, Chris? This is nonsense. He said, yeah, for sure. It's unhealthy to hold it in.

Yeah. Is it, though? That girl had to go to the emergency room. Hold it in. It comes out as a burp. I don't know. That's science. You fart. It stinks. It's like a natural thing. You fart. Dude, if you are having gay sex and you fart and the other guy will burp. I'm so done with you.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Did you fart? I'm so done with you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Did you fart? I mean, what is the physiology of how that works?

It travels, bro. You remember that in school? They used to teach it. Booty burps? Mm-hmm. Keep it classy, man. What you got, Nick? I can't imagine how many times Chris has probably been sent this video.

I haven't seen it. What is it? I can't even tell you. It's supposed to be Chris? I can't even tell you how many times. Look at his nipples. It looks like if Chris and Josh Adam Myers had a baby. I don't know if the nipples are real because he has other videos. I could have sent this guy.

I mean, this is not the first one this went viral and he's already gone viral for stuff for having big nipples and people have sent him before so when this happened this is when it's great people send me this one really viral i was like so many people say national geographic but yeah i think that um like he's some sort of af tribe nipples. I think that... I don't know if they're real because he has other videos where they are not like that. Let's look into it.

And there's some videos where he takes them off, but it's like... Oh, he rips them off? But I don't know if it's editing. You know, I can't tell. Yeah. Well, he's clearly doing to get... I mean...

Yeah, you don't... He's not going to make Hollywood on American Idol with his voice. Yeah. So maybe the nipples... Well, I didn't listen to him. Is he a good singer? I don't know. Is he good, Nick? He's not going to make Hollywood on American Idol with his voice. I didn't listen to him. Is he a good singer? I don't know.

Is he good, Nick? Is this what he does? He sings? Yeah, I guess. Chin, do you know music? Is he good, Chin? This is American Idol. I'm Katy Perry. It's a no for me. I mean, he can sing. It's a no for me, though. He's not bad. I'm Katy Perry.

It's a no for me, though. I mean, he can sing. It's a no for me, though. He's not bad. He's not bad. Yeah. Yeah, he can sing. Yeah, he can sing. I can't tell if those nipples are real, though.

It might just be a thing to get views. Maybe, yeah. That's what I was saying. What if he takes them off and he can throw them Yeah Gambit Areola Grande Dude

Did you say Areola Grande Yes I love that Keep us abreast of this man's incredible music Areola grande is funny wow i wonder if those are his real nipples because i don't know he has other ones where well where are you keep saying that he has an instagram he has an instagram page that's what i want to say someone says what stands out here to me isn't the music, it's the Crocs. Oh, yeah. I agree.

Yeah, I don't know if Crocs are. Dude, I threw my kids away. You threw your kids away? You wear Crocs? Come here. You're going in the trash. Kids. I'm keeping the Crocs.

I, yeah. You can follow. I don't follow. No. Dude, I was at the gym yesterday, and this old guy comes in, Yeah. I don't follow him. Do you know his name? I was at the gym yesterday, and this old guy comes in, and he has on Crocs. It was on TikTok, I think. Go ahead.

Socks and Crocs. And the trainer says- There's no way he's lifting real weight. He was like, the trainer said to him, are you going to a bathhouse? And the guy was like, all right, look it. I forgot my shoes. That's fair. They may be forgotten shoes, but they just look so

funny. That's funny. I don't... I've never worked out in Crocs, though. Do you own Crocs? Yeah, my son loves Crocs. All kids wear Crocs. They got me Crocs for my birthday. Kids are lazy. I got up to 140 on this press machine.

Hell yeah. All right. So I can do sets of 10. No, damn, Danny. 140 on those. Did chess yesterday. It was all chess yesterday, too. Did chess yesterday.

You hit that 225? Yeah, yeah. Four times? Four, yeah. Four. Like three sets. Four times, yeah. I'm not there yet.

Well, I actually, I know. I'm not there yet. Well, I actually, I know. I'm not saying anything. I haven't worked out in four months, and I did 225 on Monday. It's whatever. Yeah, but, okay, well, sure. 21. 21 reps? Yeah, is that good?

I don't know anymore. I haven't been in forever. That's crazy. Oh, shut up. I haven't been in forever. Is that good? That's crazy. You just know how to work out, though, huh?

Yeah. Let me see. No, it's not that good? That's crazy. You just know how to work out, though, huh? Yeah. Let me see. No, it's not that bad. Let me see. Let me see. I need to. Wait, right here.

There it is. I have a little bit going on right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right there. No, I'm not mad at that. Damn. As soft as I was, say, six months ago, this is like, you know what I mean? It's good. It's good.

Yeah, it's good. Also, it feels good, you know? Also, I did the ones where you hang and you lift your legs up those are the oh the l's yeah those are so tough really tough yeah we'll try it for you too i gotta lose another 50 you got a good grip though before i can do that what'd you say i can't i it's the grip that goes i this i couldn't do this by the way three months ago i couldn't hang just hang, damn. Without feeling like I'm going to fuck. Die, yeah. Now I can hang.

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Message and data rates apply. Number one doctor recommended brand by primary care physicians based on an independent survey conducted by IQVIA 2022. Eugenics. Total T. Keyword golden. Text 231-231. Golden. Really? Question. Don't take offense to this at all here we go oprah did a special last night she left weight watchers and

she's like pro uh olympic now would you consider i'm not saying you need it no you're beautiful the way you are no no i don't want to i don't want to do that would you do olympic no because when you lose weight and you don't tighten up your body, you look ridiculous. You look worse. You got to cut the skin off. These Osempic people look – I have a buddy of mine. I'm not going to say his name. Matt Rife. He's an older guy.

Matt Rife. He's not my age. No. And his wife got on Osempic, right? And what it did to her – She melted. Yeah, he was like – Looked like a Salvador Dali painting.

Yeah, she was. He was like, she lost her ass. She lost her. You know those clocks that Salvador Dali paints? That's what her titties look like. So I wouldn't want to do that. But here's the thing, though. Oh, my God.

He's melting. Even if I did that, I still wouldn't work out. It's not a good painting. People should still work out. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah I still wouldn't work out. It's not a good painting. People should still work out. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But people aren't doing that. And the reason why Oprah had to leave is because she was lying.

No, yeah. 100%. She's pushing Weight Watchers. She's doing something like, oh, no, no. People were like, it's a bad look. Yeah. She got called out. Yeah, she's pushing Weight Watchers. And there's fat bitches all over the country like,

oh, Oprah's on Weight Watchers. I can do it, too. And then she turns out, no, actually, I was on Ozempic. It's tricky, though. That's how she made a billion dollars, though. She owns like 60% of Weight Watchers. It's tricky, though, because of how- Can't give Hawaii money, huh?

I wonder about- I think they did, didn't they? She gave $5. All right, well, whatever. hawaii money huh i wonder i wonder about i think they did didn't they she gave five dollars all right well whatever but i think it's tricky though because like you talk about like steroids you know how it's you know the rock is doing them of course you know you know it's the elephant in the room right it's john cena and stuff i'll tell you the difference i don't think that's the same because steroids it's not like you could just take steroids and get big no i yeah true right yeah when you take steroids you still have to work out it makes like a madman it lets you work out more so zolazempic really takes it just takes that way you don't have anything oh really you

just you don't you're not hungry that's great but the studies have shown they're talking about giving to kids well that's the thing that's shown like it breaks down the muscle and then the bones get real so that's what I'm saying, though. So steroids, like The Rock, John Cena, they're kids' idols. And so if they say, oh, I do do steroids, then kids are going to be like, oh, I do steroids. Because my hero was Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I was like, he had his diet and men's fitness, whatever, when I was a kid. I literally had a fucking flat top like Arnold Schwarzenegger and wanted to get big like him and i was a little cigar like an eight-year-old yeah and i was hooking up my nanny but then i was talking to uh my uncle was like he's on more than malcolm

protein yeah yeah and i was like so young like why are you talking about the terminating you don't want an eight-year-old to know that so i started steroids as an eight-year-old. No wonder you can do 225, 221 times. Still, though, the nuance of this is still. I think Chris is right on this a little bit. When you take steroids, you still have to. You got to still put in the work. You still got to. Yeah, no, I get that.

No, you don't, though. But I think this is a very important distinction, though. My mom did that. This is an important distinction that even if you like a guy like that it's like i took steroids but if they're pretending like the liver king like i did all this well that guy i mean if they're saying that i did all this natural and it's like there's all these supplements and things you're taking it's like that's different you know then like you take this medication and it suppresses your hunger.

You're just not hungry. No, I get it. And it must do something else where you're losing all this weight. I mean, I don't know, man. I don't think they're the same thing. But the obesity is the number one problem in America. Is it a bad thing? Like, I know they look like fucking Slimer.

In 10 years when it comes out that, like, oh, Zempic is causing liver cancer and all this kind of stuff, I guarantee you that's going to happen. Oh, but you took the COVID shot? You know, like, fucking 40% of comedians are on Ozempic, you know? Really? You know, you hear about it. They talk about it.

They all take it. Isn't it really expensive? I've heard a few. Yeah, but... But you know how they have, like, Viagra, and you can go take this other thing? It's like the cheap Viagra. They have...

There's so many Ozempic type medications. People think I'm on funny supplements, but it's all natural. I can believe that. I've been trying to buy some for you forever. Dude, no. People go, you can't be that hilarious naturally.

What are you taking? And I go, oh, you think I'm on funny supplements? Yeah, people always think that, but I'm not. Funny supplements? You can't come up with a better name. Yeah. Silly supplements? No, not me. Fung on funny supplements? Yeah, people always think that, but I'm not. Funny supplements? You can't come up with a better name. Yeah.

Silly supplements? No, not me. Fungenix or something? Yeah. I'm on Jim Carricks. More creative. Funny pills? Try Jim Carricks.

Anybody know anybody in here taking Ozempic? Yeah. Any family members? Nothing? No, no family members. Chin, when you were 300 pounds in high school if i offered you calvin's on it your ass would take it what when you were 300 pounds in high school i know you're gonna go 289 whatever i took everything you're 300 but would

you have done ozempic yeah if i could afford it you're fucking right you would i would i can write you would yeah hell yeah but think how many fat kids there are would you give to you like yeah your genetics i mean you're like a crow, right? A strong crow. Yeah, sure. Strong, skinny crow. A really strong, wiry, skinny crow. Scarecrow is what I meant.

Not a crow. That didn't make sense. But a scarecrow. A crow kind of works on a bird. It's not like your kid went to school and then he came back fat. Right. Then you're like, whoa, what's going on here? If your kid is fat, you're part of the problem.

You are the problem. Right, right. That kid's not going to Ralph's and buying all these you you're part of the problem you are the problem right that kid's not going to ralph's and buying all literally the problem right it's like it's literally yeah so for the most part yeah yeah so it's like you have this fat kid and then you're like i got to give my kid ozempic i mean that's a whole issue right there right i guess if your kid was severely overweight at like 16 and ozempic you didn't do much you didn't do much for him in the food department. Yeah. Public schools aren't either. Right.

True. Look at Chin. Ozempic Chin. Wow. She's so scared. That's how my wife and I go to the bathroom. I got any good with that one. This photo's in my favorites because it comes up every night.

It's classic. That chin is dressed like a fat auntie. It's like a ventriloquist. It looks like you have a big dress on. He was trying to be Jeff Dunham. Yeah, jeans. Honestly, that's how, for real, that's how

the Asians dressed in La Cunada when I was there. They still get to work boots. Oh, do they? I don't know. Yeah, no, they all dress like that. That's so funny. She has her little... Her shoes are tied so tight to run away from you.

They're so tight. She's the one asking me out to the test. Oh, she asked you? It's a Sadie Hawkins. Yeah, she needed a chair. That's why. Damn. Oh, my God.

How'd she ask you out? Do you remember? What friends man? What a piece of shit Also where was this? Where was this? What city? Spelled out

McDonald's fries Yeah she had like A big mac meal That's so funny bro She's like Come to the dance with me More where this came from What's that?

What's that? Oh fuck I missed it How'd she invite him to the dance? I said How'd she invite you? Here it goes Chicken I said I said, how'd she invite you? Eric goes, chicken. I said, she spelled it out.

Will you go to the dance with me and fries? Imagine how furious Chin was when he got to the dance and he was like, where's the buffet? There was no food there, yeah. Just punch? Just punch? Probably punch, yeah. Probably punch, huh? I mean, you did good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, this is a glow up, dude. It's a glow up. just punch well you did good yeah probably punch huh i mean you did good yeah yeah yeah i mean this is a glow up dude it's a glow up dude you know who i saw uh hey it's crazy the work that celebrities can get done and like the you know zen picture like that i saw pictures of um who's that woman she's a star she's in no no no no no um she was on saturday night live and now wig kristin wig she looks amazing yeah but bro when you have money well i know but but but but i didn't know it was have you seen dana white's transformation yeah true was built like a baby hippo and now he's jacked i mean that's not how she looked at saturday night live she was just like a funny looking yeah

but she did like she was in Wonder Woman, right? No, I know. 1984. Yeah. They give you the diet. Not to mention you have a full-time chef and then all the supplements. People that do that kind of stuff. Peptides.

Remember Taylor Lautner? Yeah. So he was in the first Twilight movie and then they were going to make sequels and they told him like, well, you need to get. Oh, yeah. You said this. Yeah. You need to get this buff this year yeah baby yeah cuz yeah baby fat but you know because they were like no cuz the kick in the book the characters like you know he grows so he like went did the work and then he came back looking like how

we was looking did I keep it real my kids when they say oh dad the rocks bigger than my case on steroids yeah I mean it's okay if you're keeping it real or oh yeah like not that you think it's okay if you're keeping it real. Oh, yeah. You think it's hating? It's a little bit of hate. Are you stronger than him? I go pound for pound. Yeah, it's not. Well, you know, if you have an open dialogue with your children and you're like,

look, he's on steroids. It's not good for you. You know, it's certainly not good for you to start now when you're four. That's up for debate. But hasn't steroids over the past 25 years gotten healthier? Isn't it different Like before you had to You had to shoot up Now they got Topical steroids

Yes that doesn't work As good as the actual Shooting up You still gotta shoot up But to your point The whole narrative On steroids And roid rage

All that's kind of bullshit Yeah Like no one's really died From using testosterone And all that stuff No one's had heart issues There's none of that stuff But No one's had heart issues. There's none of that stuff.

But the testosterone – They usually have pre-issues, high blood pressure, and then they take a bunch of testosterone. And you wouldn't be able to take it on silly supplements too. Like I would have to stop doing that. Okay, wait, wait, wait. I have to – isn't this about like because of professional sports and the integrity of the sport because of gambling and everything like that that's involved in it, we have this feeling about that steroids is bad because we want our athletes to know that they naturally did this.

They just worked out with weights and they did this. And that's why you're not there because they're just more talented. It's not because of steroids. Which is complete bullshit. So what I'm saying is if you take that element out of it and we're just talking, because don't doctor, like if you sprain your ankle or break your ankle or whatever it's like yeah right sometimes a doctor prescribes you a round of steroids yeah heal so what i'm saying is like what is the real right thing about steroids like why is it so bad

there's like a taboo on it right because people like lance armstrong you know they had to go to 18th place to find a guy who wasn't doping To give him the gold And they're like no he's the worst And he goes It's even Everyone's doing the same shit I'm doing That's how good I am at fucking riding this bike That sucks

It also sucks because then you get in a situation Where you don't want to be a snitch Like Barry Bonds People are like oh if he didn't use steroids Hey dumbasses In that era everyone was on the same shit It's like when... Like Barry Bonds. People are like, oh, if he didn't use steroids, he couldn't do those things. I mean, yeah, they're all doing it. Hey, dumbasses. In that era, everyone was on the same shit.

The pitchers were on the same shit. The pitchers throwing on Adderall. The fans, the fans. I know. Go Barry Bonds! You know what the thing about Barry Bonds, though, is he would have been a Hall of Famer from his work with the Pirates.

Gold Glove winner. I think, yeah, he had seven gold gloves at that time. I think the thing for Barry Bonds was like, he was seeing all this attention these people were getting. He's like, first of all, Mark McGuire, I'm a thousand times better. More talented, yes. I'm more talented than all these dudes getting these accolades. He was like, you know what?

Let me take this. You know what the problem is? And then he hit 73 home runs. Right. But you know what his problem and Lance Armstrong's problem was? They're assholes. They're assholes. They're mean.

They weren't good teammates. Lance Armstrong kind of, and he apologized for it, but he fucked over a bunch of people. Barry Bonds is notoriously known. People hate him on the team. Okay, but if you found out. That's why they go for him. If you found out they had done steroids, would it just rock your world, change your mind?

I'll give you an example. I assume all of them are honest. I know, but if we found out definitively that Michael Jordan was taking steroids. That would blow my mind. It'll give you an example. I assume all of them are honest. I know, but if we found out definitively that Michael Jordan was taking steroids. That would blow my mind. It would be like, oh. Or Bo Jackson. Or Bo Jackson.

It would just be terrible. Bo Jackson. Oh, yeah. At the time. I thought he was a freak. Bo knows steroids. He was a freak. But imagine if part of him

being a freak was steroids. He was so strong, he tore his own fucking quad. Too much horsepower. He blew his engine. Whoa. He blew his engine. He blew his engine. That's how fast it is. You're not into ass, so who else would it be for you? I know these guys. I know these guys.

They play on Raiders. Like, any of those freaks? But they did. But they did take steroids, right? Not Jordan. Really? Jordan and Bo Jackson did. Who knows, though, dude? Like, Kobe Bryant notoriously went to Europe a lot after the season. The one that they say, the secret thing you hear about is the human growth.

Right, right, right. That's what the NBA. It's undetectable, yeah. Like LeBron putting these numbers at 38? Of course he's on. But again, if you're the owner of the team, wouldn't you want these guys taking it? Because it protects your investment.

No, I understand that. But the whole thing about it is, and this has to do with gambling and integrity of the game, the perception of the integrity of the game is what keeps it going. But here's the thing with HGH. It just replenishes things. It doesn't add more muscle or make you leaner. It just keeps everything healthy

so you can recover faster faster so for like lebron does it does it if i found out he was on hgh and it came out would you care it doesn't make him shoot better it just allows him to play more games but i still you know another one another one blow my mind if you're not in baseball you're like what the fuck cal uh cal ripken because he set the record for most games ever played. They're like, yeah, he was on boatloads of HDH. Oh, really, really. I'm like, oh, man.

Baltimore Orioles. Oh, good for you. Come on, bro. I know, man. I know my sports, especially in the 90s. I'll tell you one that would blow my mind.

Dude, you tell me The Rock's on steroids, I'm going to freak out. Well, Brendan, you just, Brendan, you can't make this joke after literally 10 minutes ago,

you said The Rock was on steroids. I have CT. This is another different episode. I have CT. This is my second podcast. I have CT. I said he was on steroids. This motherfucker is doing three sets in a night.

Did I do this joke on you? Yeah. The worst. The worst. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're doing Olympics where they worst. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're doing Olympics where they allow, it's called enhanced games. They just need to come up with rules and public rules.

And so then people are like, all right, that's what the rules are. No, or just keep it. Hush, hush. Hush, hush. And just allow the athletes to do it and everyone shuts their fucking mouth. Like we're doing right now. Well, we're not doing that now. We are though.

We're talking about it. We're exposing athletes right now. All professional leagues are doing it. I think all athletes should be able to take a round of steroids in the offseason. Or if you're injured. Injuries. White guys can take more if you're in the NBA.

White guys can take more because they don't have any fast twitch muscles and black dudes have fast twitch muscles. He knows his stuff. Yeah. They're wearing everything. Yeah. Was it? Oh, hell yeah.

Why? What was this? That's Lil' Brow. This was at Whiskey A Go-Go, Chin and Brows. What the heck? God, his merch is fucking fire, dude. As they keep trucking, that's insane. Wow.

Dude, let's say keep trucking. That's insane. Wow. That's a classic place, too. Chin, you look so bored. Chin, go to the potty. No, this is crazy. Chin recreating his prom picture.

So I'm singing here, but Austin Awake, for what reason, wanted to take my mic? Why? I don't know. The crowd at this point wanted my show. And you wouldn't give it to don't know. He's proud. It looks like one of my shows. And you wouldn't give it to him? No, he took it. I was like, what are you doing? Why, though?

You didn't talk to Master? We talked a little bit. He might have a... I love that Chin is wearing his performance shorts. A little too much. Are those your performance shorts that you have on? I always wear shorts, man. Ever since I got tats, I'm going to wear shorts. Wow, that's cool.

Even while performing? Yeah, of course. I think you should wear a thong that would really if i get tattoos up to my like you know yeah that's all yakuza you're like yakuza yakuza hey would you uh you have to wear a big diaper was that was that a fun was that a fun show how was it sanaz she says, but it was not that packed. Yeah, but it's hard to sell. I feel like you guys didn't promote it much. Like, Little Brow's the day of. It's not even our concert. Can you post this for me?

I'm like, yeah. It's not our concert. It was Riley's concert. It's whose concert? We just came in to open up. Whose concert? Riley. Oh, he's very talented, but yeah.

So by the time he got on stage, the place was packed? Yeah. I'm not going to say that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was more packed. Yeah, dude. Hey. I've been, you know what's funny is I've been to shows there,

and I've seen like where it's like five opening acts, and I got there early, and then it was like, you know who I saw at one of those places? What's the guy that was like? Brian Callen. No, he became a porn star. Singer? He was an actor. Oh, my God. He's like? Brian Callen. No, he became a porn star. Singer? He was an actor.

Oh, my God. He does rap. Mark Wahlberg. No, not him. Oh, my God. What is that guy's name? He raps and he's an actor? He's in a band.

It's him and another guy rapping. Simon Rex. Simon, yeah, Simon Rex. He didn't really do porno, did he? He was doing solo, jacking off on camera. Yeah, that's what his, yeah. He didn't really do porno, did he? He was doing like solo. Yeah, yeah. I love him. Jacking off on camera. Yeah, that's what his thing was. What? But anyways.

He's MTV Chalk, yeah, I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was, that's what he was doing. But anyway, he was in a, he had a rap career for a second. Yeah. And I saw him at, not Whiskey Go-Go, but what's the other famous one? The Viper Room? The Roxy.

The Roxy. I saw him at a Roxy opening up for like, I forgot who it was. And it was packed by the time that guy got on stage. But I was there early. Mickey Avalon? Yes. How do you know all this? Good for you.

Well, Simon's a buddy. Yes, I love Simon. Yeah, he was opening up for Mickey Avalon. But it was like. I know stuff. But it looked like that when they were on stage. It was like 16 people there. Nick was there.

It was weird. I'll tell you the exact stuff after the show. Theo and Simon are close, right, Nick? Yeah, yeah. I love Simon. Yeah, he was – I remember why. I had a friend of mine, this girl from Colorado, had come into town because she was a super fan of Simon Rex. Got it.

Oh, that's why you went. I was there because I was like, what is this? Yeah. And I was just like, all right. Yeah, Simon's cool, man. Yeah, but Mickey Avalon, that guy is hilarious. How was his rapping? It's, you know, it's funny.

No, it's like, but he's like doing it as if it's like a- Like a Lil Dicky vibe? Yeah, kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not as talented? Well, Lil Dicky's actually a rapper. But he's a comedy rapper. Like he's a-

Yeah, he's like more of a comedy rapper. He's legit. No, no, I'm talking about, yeah. Yeah, Lil Dicky. But that's like. Yeah, he's like more of a comedy rapper. No, no. I'm talking about. Yeah. But that's like when you're like at that particular time, there was no other outlet. So it's like you're like a famous white guy. Like, you know, that was just like one of the things you do. Like now he would be.

He'd have a podcast. Yeah. If this was back then, it would be like, you know, he'd have his own. The Rex and Effect podcast. Oh, that's cool. You know? Yeah. When was this? In the 80 it would be like, you know, he'd have his own The Rex and Effect podcast or something, you know? Yeah. When was this? In the 80s?

No, no, no, man. 90s? Simon would have been 12. It was like 2000s. I don't know, dude. Early 2000s. Wow. When I sent that video

to the group chat, Chris was like, this is fucking awesome. And I was like, I could not tell if you were being sarcastic. No, I meant it. It's just awesome

that you guys were doing it. I wanted to. yeah for real I wish I went I was out of town I was you know I know it's very convenient that Chris is always out of town I'm a touring comedian excuse me fucking the fans clamoring for me. Quit taking so many funny pills. I should stop the supplements. Oh, how many yeses? Oh, dude. The chunky dunkies? I know.

How many yeses? All right. I can do it today, bitch. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeses. Well, you're going to throw your voice out. Yeah, sorry. I got to save it to yell at kids later.

They're good. They're good. The chunky dunks. If these aren't a five, your whole system is rigged. Dude, if these aren't a five, you're basically the Google of fucking. Listen. It's rigged. Listen.

You're rigged up for the lab. I get that those are five yeeshs. I get it. Because of the point. You don't think so, though. I can tell. Those are not shoes that I want to wear. I don't want to bully you.

No. It's your system. Yeah. Yeah. No. It's your system. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It's your system. If you don't like them, properly yeesh them. Okay. But if your system.

Yeesh it properly. If the Chunky Dunkeys aren't a five, if they're not a five, yeesh, then your system is flawed. These are a holy grail. You can't let him bully your system. Let me see them close. Put them right here. Just take, them right here. Now, Ben and Jerry's, I don't... Ben and Jerry's is woke, but the shoes are still lit.

CalPrint. Come on. Let's do this properly. You see the fur? Yeah. The yellow laces. You're about to be disappointed. No, I don't know.

They're pretty fucking cool, actually, the more I look at them. Pretty unique. The thing I don't like about... Six yeses! yes yes yes four but here's the deal the thing the reason why it doesn't get five i'll tell you why yes no is because i don't like this drip nike thing and i know i get it because it's ice cream i don't like how i don't like the the the ink that looks like like you drew it on and it's coming off. Here? No, no. The black part. Oh, does it?

Yeah, it looks like it's fading. They're very- Why wear them a lot? In demand shoes, though. Hard to get. They're very hard to get and expensive. Five. Yes, thank you.

Five. That's a five. I like those better than your last ones. I think the green ones are actually a little better, dude. You know how I have my own yeast schedule? I give these, yes, yeesh, half. Two and a half. Half, he says.

He said half high. High. Half. Two and a half. They're good. They're good. Yeah, they're maybe three. Yeesh, yeesh, yeesh.

Nick, you still rocking those King of the Sting hitters? Yeah. Fuck yeah. The cat's four swans. Till the wheels fall off, though. This guy wants to be yeeshed. His shoes. Oh, I can't wait to do this.

Yeesh his shoes, all right. Yo, what's good, everybody? At the Golden Hour, this is my first video submission for Yeesh My Shoes. I got a pair of red ring boots on. That's got to be the commercial for it. Irish setting. I want you to ye the commercial for it. Irish setter. I want you to yeast it. Oh, wow.

Work boots are different. Andy's using them. Yeah. Yeah. Those are some good three-year-old boots for you. I think four-year-old boots, but let me know what y'all think about hard-working boots. If you're using them, it's a different system. I don't even know the names

of the other boots, but these are Red Wings. They work for... Red Wings are good. You know who made Red Wings popular? Drake. Oh, really?

Well, hey, he works manual labor. Yeah. Drake? On bitches. Let me get my boots. How many yeashes, dog? Work scale's different.

Yeah, let's see. It looks like you work. Now, chin rolled in here with those? Yeah. Yeesh. Well, no. Yeah, that's negative yeesh department. But I would do if...

Okay, so if I were this guy, I would probably lace them up maybe one more notch there. 100%. And then it would be... Yeesh! Yeesh! Yeesh!

Yeesh! I give them four. Four out of five. I mean, they're really nice. They're nice boots. They're good. They look like they get shit done. You know? They're really nice they're nice boots they're good they look like they get shit done you know they're dirty they do look like steel toad yeah steel toad i bet you he can like polish those up and they'll look real yeah you put bring that up but i would say bring that bring that notch up though dude you know yeah lace them up one more

because that tongue's too pop i don't like big tongues like that i mean either i like the i mean thanks for you thanks for thanks for watching my shoes hey what's up golden hour crew this is dustin from vancouver was just hoping chris could yeesh my shoes real quickly um these are a funny uh pair of shoes that i got a couple years ago it's a collaboration between puma and need for speed the video game i like collaboration everyone was asking for. Here they are. They're a bit dirty. They got a buckle on the front.

I think that's supposed to be like a seatbelt. Dude, that's the worst you have ever seen in my life. That's one. Yeesh! No, I give them two yeesh. How many yeesh? No, one is bad. I give them two.

Oh, okay. Can we actually define the scale here? You want to understand? All right. I need to understand the scale because you said there's no minus yeashes. I guess not. You know what I mean? So one

is like, well they look good right there. No, but that's the trick though, dude. Look at that trick. Look at the guy's fucking shin is blue. That roof porch behind him? They're tricking you, dude. Well that's because it's matching the car. I know, but who is he? Avatar? No, it's the light from the street.

Yeah, I know nobody's shin is blue, dude. I don't know. You think it's Papa Smurf? His camera's just

so blurry, that's probably Yeah, but those shoes are fucking utterly terrible. Those are so bad. Those are bad.

They have a seatbelt on them. Those are bad. Those are bad. So, okay, so your question, though,

is very valid, though. Yeah. I need to know the, you know. Like, if that's a, you gave him a one? Yeah. You have to have at least one yeesh. If you're a shoe, you're one yeesh. Yes.

Then what would be a two? Like a normal Adidas? You know, you can't just, like, not, it'd be like, like, if you have a beauty pageant, right? So to be at the beauty pageant, you have to have a certain level, right? You're beautiful, yeah. Oh, wow. Good point.

You know what I mean? Not any girl could just come to the beauty pageant like, hi, I'm here for the beauty pageant. It's fair. She don't get a yeesh. Yeah, but the fact that they were designed shoes by a professional company is already the fact. And a collab. Ground floor yeesh. Yeah... Ground floor yeesh. Yeah, ground floor yeesh.

One yeesh is just a shoe. Is that what we're saying? What would be a five? On your scale, what's a five yeesh? This gets the yeesh, right? That's one. One? Are you kidding me? The classicness of it, maybe 1.5 yeesh,

but that's not more than that. These are better than those shits he has on. Yeah, but the heat skin. Classic and comfortable. But yish, it deals with heat, though, dude. Oh, my God. Yish isn't just, you know? This is like rapper shit right here, you know?

Yeah, in fucking Run DMC. Hello? And? Walk this way! No, they're good. They're good. They're good. So what's a five? Like Like what's a holy grail

Like who's gonna Cause you don't give out fives Like are the red octobers fives I don't like those No no but fives Personally We get fives There's gonna be something

Really spectacular What I'm saying is What's two and three That's more This is like three yeesh If you don't like the red octobers Three four You know

It's three, huh? It's a personal fucking thing, guys. Well, we want to know. We got a whole segment now. People need to know where they stand. So if somebody sends their shoe in and you give them two yeesh's, they need to know what is that. Those aren't fire. Now I have the original gray ones.

Wait, wait, wait. You didn't like the seatbelt on the other one. How can you like this? Well, that's a strap. It's a little different. Yeah, they're definitely better're definitely better than I mean, don't know the original Yeezys for me Nick I have those there now they're size 12. My toe hurts when I wear them, so I don't wear them a lot Mm-hmm. I'll be frank with you guys. Mm-hmm They're the fourth ones in on the top there

Yeah That's a five. If that's not a five i'm gonna fight you what the yeezys they're the first ones right so you'd get a yeesh for that so they're a shoe so it's one is there anything spectacular about this like what what brings something to two in your mind how about in-house we? We got Kevin. Okay. But Chris, I have an issue. It's hard. I got to fucking go to the whole thing. I just want to know your five.

If that's not a five, I got to know. But I also say this. Now I'm annoyed. This can't be one. It's not one. No, it's a good issue. It's probably four. It's probably four.

Probably four. Oh, come on, bro. It's probably four. Probably four? Oh, come on, bro. You talking about the JC Walkers? That's, I mean, that's... Those are the Moses 1s. I hate those. Those aren't even a shoe. Those are the Moses 1s.

Kevin, what happened? No, but everyone... No, you wear them to be comfortable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's okay. I have Crocs. I have Crocs, bro. I don't like them, but I... Those are ridiculous. Yeah, because you them to be comfortable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's okay. I have Crocs. I have Crocs, bro. I don't like them.

Those are ridiculous. You know what, Kevin? You're better than this. No, no, no, no. He usually wears fire. I'm not just saying this. I agree. Sometimes you just want to be comfortable.

That's fine, dude. Yeah, totally. Now we come to work, dude. All right, well, yeah, I thought you'd think. I mean, I'm not going to. They can do what they want. There's no dress code here. I have stuff that I wear just for comfiness.

Like what? I mean, house shoes and shit. In the house. Yeah, but I wore Crocs flying the other day. Disgusting. I wouldn't do that. With no socks? No.

No. I would never wear no socks. Yeah, that's crazy. Callan will wear Open toe sandals On the plane That's crazy He's a fucking serial killer I actually

We were on the same flight Coming back from Atlanta Both in coach Yeah No no wait I was at Hey

I was at the emergency exit Brian was in the back Brian walked past me It's been tough lately Took a picture of me Sleeping I was just resting That's funny You didn't even know You were on the same plane Until then Yeah Oh wow That's crazy Hey lately Took a picture of me sleeping That's funny

You didn't even know you were on the same plane until then? Yeah That's crazy Hey what's a five? Alright let me think about what a five would be No kicks come on man But I don't You can't just be giving out fives

That's my point You can't just be giving out fives Off-white forces We need to know that a three and a four That's the thing. That's my point. That's why I have to think about it. You can't just be giving out five. That's why I need to know. Off-white forces? We need to know that the two and the three. We need to know that a three and a four. That's pretty good. What's that?

The Freddy Kruegers? There are definitely some off-white five. Yes. Definitely. Yes. Yeah. Jordan 11s? But not those ones. I don't like those.

Jordan 11s. Yeah, I would give those four. What about those Tracy McGrady's? The originals. I can't. I can't. I bought those without knowing what they look like. Tracy McGrady is like my favorite player of all time.

Random. And they were bad. You're the first. Well, he was the first. No, you know what, though? Random. Tracy McGrady's shoes are the first time that they went to like different colors. Like he was the first shoe that they were like.

Look at that. That's a fucking horrible shoe. God damn it. Those are horrific. Those are horrendous. Wow. That's a horrible fucking shoe. Until then, though, it was just white and black shoes.

You know what's a fire ass shoe are the Penny Hardaway Nikes. Wait. The Pennys. My brother had them. I want them so bad, but my mom didn't have enough for both of us. Oh, that's cute. Yeah, those are cool. But they would not look good on me, though.

Yeah, they would. Those are built for you. Those are like all blue ones and stuff. That's when he started that shit. Those are built for you, dude. You can pull those off. You think I'm built for you? I can.

I look like TSA if I wear big, bulky shoes. So sometimes I shop at Bloomingdale's, and you go to the shoe section at Bloomingdale's, and it's like some seven hundred fifty dollar sneakers. I'm just like, I don't know. Oh, yeah. They're those designer bullshit. What's that about? Or like if you ever go to like Neiman Marcus, you'll see the shoe section. It's like, that's Rachel. Rachel's why we go there. Yeah. Oh, these shoes. I go, all right. Sneakers. All right. How much? Eight hundred dollars.

We need to go to also i'm thinking bro also sometimes tom sacks the mars tom sacks i don't know those bring them up nick tom sacks nikes they're they're they're they're tan white and red oh i know those yeah bring them up bring them up yeah i know those yeah i'll have to decide if it's a five though or not i gotta know what's a five. All right. Because I'm dropping fucking fire on you, and you're not giving anything here, dude. Yeah, but you have too many fives in your... There's too many fives.

I would probably say... I'm giving the holy grail. It's like, who's your favorite? I know, I know, but I'm going Kobe. I'm going Kobe. But I'm different. Magic. Jordan.

He's like, no, no. Those are really good. But here's the thing. Okay, you know what I think would be a five? The Off-White Air Force Ones. Which color? Kind of any of them. They're great.

They're just great. Okay. They're great. I would say those would be five. Now I can relax. Yeah. Those are great. You guys want to see what his five is?

Yeah. What about Brendan's shoes that he has? It's a great shoe. The gold-tipped shoelaces. That's a great shoe. What are those? That's a great shoe, bro. I got you the green ones.

Yeah. I know. Thank you. And I have the Volt ones. I have the white. I have all the ones. But Yeah, I know. Thank you. And I have the Volt ones. I have the white. But they're just great. The yellow ones are- They're so comfy.

Well, yeah, but who cares? They just look fucking fantastic. They could have fucking a bed of nails in them. I'd wear them. Facts. You know? I have to take the soles out in these because they're too small. How would that be?

You have to practice them for a little while? Yeah. You could do it. These are so dope. Yeah. If you spread out your weight evenly, spread your weight evenly they're saying that um hey this says whipping your ass while eating a full course lunch is oh wow it sounds like that'll be good this video is crazy i'm having a close why did you want to give me something i would like to

give you something if you don't have any clothes okay well i'll be happy to take those what brand is that i've seen this what brand he's wiping his ass you want a brand oh i thought he's whipping your ass so i would like some clothes that have a guy because i'm not homeless so i would like clothes with the brand i wear brand name clothes okay so what kind of brands do you like i don't know what brands do you wear he said i'm not homeless. So I wear brand shit. I would like some branded shit. I've seen this before, but for some reason, I didn't remember it being so insane. Play it again. And he keeps looking at it.

I would like to give you some. I would like to give you some if you don't have any clothes. Okay, well, I'll be happy to take those. What brand is that? What brand? You want a brand? You said you had clothes to give me. He's all looking.

We've got a clean ass because nothing's on it. Mine would be a disaster. Right now. They'd have to blur it out. You know, this proves Chris's point. Is this real? I was wondering that, too. to blur it out you know this is this proves chris's point is this real this proves i was wondering that too everything you could kind of i the reason why i wonder is because the the guy talking off screen is it seems a little yeah who knows that's funny though good job hey if it's not

real good still good great job this is like some shit that a grand theft auto would have in it you're like yo did you get to the guy where he talked to brands and shit? He's wiping his ass. Like, nah, where's that? It's on the outskirts. You got to take a plane. I absolutely love that game. Even after you complete it, you can just go on it.

Well, that's why it's so fucking. Cause mayhem. I try to go. If it's a game I play with myself, I would go to the Air Force base to steal a jet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you could steal the jet, you're like, yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, like side mission shit.

I know it's not a side mission, but yeah. Get a tank. Yeah. And then just see what threat level you could get to before they blow the tank up and you're just blowing up the police. That's fun. That's a fun game. That's fun.

I can't wait for the new one to come out. When did it come out? Next year? No, I think it's 2006. 2026. Really? And they're marketing it now? Yeah, they did it so early.

Yeah, they have to. And it doesn't have the most views ever for video games. Well, the thing is, they're probably doing a lot of beta testing. Testing. Because they don't want to release this game and there'll be some shit. Because a lot of other companies do that.

Because it has to be a thing where people are like, you got to play this. They don't want her to be like, man, the car doesn't work. I should have called you here because my son wanted to. I fucked that up, right? One of the worst releases ever. They had to give people their money. I got my money back.

I should have called you here because my son has a PlayStation 5, you know, and he wanted a car game. I bought him Need for Speed 5 or whatever, the newest one. For an eight-year-old, it's fucking tough. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so tough. So you actually- The simulator?

That shit's fun. So you actually got your money back for Cyberpunk? That's how bad it was? That's how bad it was. It had so many glitches, so much data. And they knew, too. They were like, another game that had a big fail release was Battlefield 5. And it was like people were clamoring for their money back. Like another game that had a big fail release was Battlefield V.

Oh. And it was like people were clamoring for their money back. You know, it's just one of those things, man. So they don't want this to happen because this game is going to make billions of dollars. Immediately. Because of all the in-game stuff. So like you'll actually be able to go to a store. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll be able to have money to purchase things and stuff like that.

Yeah. That's the thing. Thanks to Candy Crush, it changed the whole gaming. Is that what changed it? Yeah. When they started to have those games on the phone where they had no ending, and you had to pay money. Dude, I got addicted to Angry Birds.

I had to take it off my phone. I'd probably put 800 into royal match oh wow you played i always wonder who played royal match yeah me too and that was always pops up the ads i didn't even know about it there's a game i play i've probably spent like 500 on that shit what game it's just my shit but my my shit came up on thing i was looking at my phone calvin was there. And I opened up the app store. And he said, hey, Royal Match. And I was like, what?

And he's going, ooh. I was like, what do you know about that? And he was like, I seen it with Joe. And so I clicked it. I started playing it. And $800 later. That's how they get you. Bro.

And then he's like, now I'm going to play. I'm like, OK, but don't fucking use the bomb yet. Have you guys seen this video? It's an Asian family. And the kid is at a gaming place. And the parents come in and they're beating his ass because he spent $40,000. What? Oh, wait, we're beating our ass in the game.

No. Oh, that's. He's at the game place and the dad comes in and the dad is fucking pounding and beating him because he spent $40,000. How does a kid have access to having $40,000? He stole their credit card or something, man. And he's playing the game.

How old is he? You know what I mean? Imagine. Oh, no. If Calvin, you know... Here, this is it right here. This is horrible. Oh, here. This is horrible. Oh, shit.

This is the dad beating him? No, my favorite is the guy right there that's just kind of like, yeah, I got to. This is not okay, though. You can't beat the kid. Chris, you think $40,000 is not a lot? Dude, again, they cut your head off and crave for farting. To this family, $40,000 is probably that dad has to work for the next 25 years to pay that off. What the fuck?

How do you? What the fuck? If your kid steals your credit card. No, it has a limit. Maybe they have to make an express. $40,000. This is bullshit. $40,000?

Maybe it's 40,000 yen. That's six bucks. I know. But he's still going to whip his ass. No, you have credit cards that have a high limit. This is crazy. Also, how old is the kid? He's probably like 17.

Right, right. I mean, it's just that they don't have any. They get addicted to shit, and you're just like, boom, what are you supposed to do? Oh, the whole thing is sad. Calvin, have you started buying stuff on Apple yet? My kids, I'll look at the movie. I'll get my statement at the end of the month. I'm like, who the fuck?

He's like, yeah, we bought all five Transformer movies. No, that's funny. God damn it. That's funny. Don't buy those. Rent them. That's crazy. I know.

Even the rental is crazy. I know. Rachel does this to me all the time. It'll be like, I know the movie's about to come out, say, in seven days. It'll be free streaming. Right, right, right. And she's like, but I'm going to watch. Yeah, I agree with her. Can we watch this together right now? Click it out, say, in seven days. It'll be free streaming. Right, right, right. And she's like, but I'm going to watch. Yeah, I agree with her.

Can we watch this together right now? Click it now, bro. Yeah, now. What was it, 40 bucks? No, no, no, no. This is why. It'd be one thing if I knew she was really into movies. Oh, yeah, okay.

And we were going to sit there. Oh, yeah, no, no. No, dude. I just spent $19. Get out of here, Rachel. Dude, that's horse shit. And she's on Instagram. Six minutes into the movie, I look over and she's like this. Yeah, no, that ain't cool. No, here, Rachel. Dude, that's horse shit. She's on Instagram. Six minutes into the movie, I look over and she's like this.

Yeah, no, that ain't cool. No, no, no. That's so cute. Looks just like you. Yeah, I lie to my kids about movies coming out. I don't tell them it's in theaters. It goes straight to the TV. Oh, wow.

You know how many theaters would you get? Certain, like, bossy's obsessed with Godzilla, so we'll go to Godzilla. But, like, Kung Fu Panda 4, I'm waiting for demand. But do they, when you're, you take Calvin to the movies we have but I'm saying when you when you take the kids to the movies because I've been to like when I'm on the road and I'm gonna see a three o'clock yeah and then I'm gonna shit never doing this again cuz it's kids are running around because like the parents are just there like this and you could tell that this is just like all right do what the fuck you want and the kids are

just like you know I wouldn't I wouldn't you want and the kids are just like in the hot aisles. Not my kids. I wouldn't let my kids. Not my kids. Again, that's bad. My kids sit the fuck down. I'm okay with like, there's a certain time of day

that like, we're in a social agreement. Whatever. This is the kid hour. No, I agree. But if it's like, if I'm at like an 8 to 10 o'clock movie at night.

But that's not what movie you're going to go see. You're going to see La La Crocodile. Okay. If you see Oppenheimer, you're like, what the fuck are you letting your kids see Oppenheimer?

What the fuck are you seeing? Yeah. Kung Fu Panda, bro. I go to Chuck E. Cheese. It's fucking ridiculous, man. Ha! No! There's kids everywhere.

There's sometimes like you're going to, like Shrek is not just for kids. Okay, yeah. But if kids are there, you should expect it. Yeah, yeah. Not at 8 o'clock. I would never go to the movie in the middle of the day to see Shrek, though. No. But that's what I'm saying.

Right. If I have a 7 o'clock show and I'm there and I'm going to see a movie, I'm going to see a movie. Sleep late. Sleep really late. Wake up. Work out. But if it's like Schindler's List. I just saw Dune 2.

I was able to do that because I was out of town. Did you fuck the popcorn? No, they didn't have that there. I'm going to watch Dune 2. I saw Dune 1. Dune 2 was epic. I have no desire. Okay, I did not like Dune.

No desire. You didn't like it? No. I love that movie. What's it about? It's Star Wars. Same thing. I'm out.

Well, he actually stole. Star Wars actually stole from him. Well, or whatever. It was first. But yeah, we don't know if he stole it. Dune was first? Dune was first, yeah. It was a book first.

Yeah, it was a book first. I have no desire. He stole it. How do you know? He took a lot of the concepts from that movie yeah a lot of movies do the jedi and you know all that space yeah it's hilarious when people are like dune stole from uh people are stupid i know i love when i say i like you didn't like dune i didn't like dune yeah no why you didn't like honestly it was boring oh i thought it was really boring and i like Too much dialogue? No, not enough.

Oh, really? A lot of action? You have to watch part two. I'm going to watch two. Two is... I want to watch two because that shit looks cool. Like, awesome butler, the way he's all fucking white with a black tongue. I'm into that.

Is Zendaya in this one too? Who? Zendaya? She's my favorite. She's good. So talented. She's... So talented.

Yeah, no. She's not not talented. Is she in Euphoria? No, no, no. she's not not talented. No, no, no, she's not not talented. Smallfoot? Have you heard her singing in Smallfoot? I'm not disagreeing with her talent level. You might be disappointed at how little he's in it.

Yeah. Well, he's a villain, so they don't want to show him a lot. I mean, he was in there. It's a long movie. They have a lot of story to tell in this. It's long. I just tried to watch. Did you talk to Elvis?

Yeah, that's hilarious. Did you see Elvis? I'm going to get y'all. I'm going to get y like elvis yeah that's hilarious did you see i'm gonna get y'all i'm gonna get y'all good guys what did you see elvis that he was yeah did you like it i was like he's amazing and yeah i know but like it's a montage the movie's a montage there's enough of it where i'm just like i didn't like this no he's amazing yeah but i didn't he's amazing yeah um i'm like this guy is just so good in that movie. So talented. Anyway, the thing about Zendaya is some people.

Is it? Zendaya. Is it really? Some people are just too distracting the way they look. She's too pretty. I don't know. It's just like. She's got a very angsty face all the time.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, part of it just like she's got a very angsty face all the time yeah yeah i mean part of it is that she's very attractive but like it's like it just she's all you're thinking of is like oh this is zendaya in it zendaya i don't like her and tom holland's relationship no i i like them together oh my god i don't like their relationship so i'm not gonna go see it this might be the gayest thing you've ever said. I'm just saying I don't think they're right together. No, they're right. They're right.

This is the podcast I want to see. They're right, dude. They're cute together. Come on. He's too small. Well, that's true. They're all small, though. Yeah.

Timothy Chalamet? He blows away in the wind. Casey could post him up. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, Casey got some strength, though. Yeah, but they're like, he's a little dude. Right, right, right, right, right.

You're saying big guys are out, small guys are in? Yeah. Nah, they still have it, but. No, man. This is sort of like twinkle. You're right. No, I get it. It's in, yeah. That's in.

Oh, it's the woke stuff. Yep, I get it. That's not woke. No, it is, though. It's like the beta males. It's kind of woke a little bit. Suppress the alpha males. It's kind of woke, yeah. I get it. No, it'd, though. It's like the beta males taking over. It's kind of woke a little bit. Suppress the alpha males. It's kind of woke, yeah.

I get it. It'd be crazy, though. I would want to see like, you know, you have like, you know, Timothy, he's supposed to be this big, tough kid in this thing. If the three of us just walked on screen next to him. Yeah, it would make no sense. People would be like, oh. Yeah.

Oh, they'd think it's fucking Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Yeah. Even Tom Cruise, they must keep a lot of little people in these movies. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, you've never seen Tom Cruise in a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's what I'm saying. It would be ridiculous.

And I'm no conspiracy theorist, but we're vibing. People don't know about the people on TV. I've gotten this so many times. I'll be on the road and they're taking pictures. People go, man, I didn't know you were this tall. Yeah. People know I'm tall, but yeah. You know? People know I'm tall because I

have my personality. I know what's up. They know what's up. Is that it, Nick? That's it. You have a short personality. I'm cutting this bitch off, man. I don't want to hear this fucking bullshit. Fire and Kid Live next Friday, Austin. Tulsa Funny Bone. Not Funny Bone. Tulsa Loony Bin. Look for me in

Tulsa Loony Bin. Hey! me in Tulsa Loony Bin. Hey, oh, I'm going to be in San Diego on Saturday. Durham, North Carolina is my birthday show. Norfolk, Virginia. Grand Rapids. Oh, Augusta is the one I want. It's going to be in Georgia. Saginaw, Michigan.

And then Des Moines, Iowa. I've never heard of these cities. Yeah, I know some of them. Nanaimo, BC. I'm going to be there, though. ChrisLeigh.com, baby. Ooh, Green Bay. Green Bay would be fun. Green Bay, I'm going to be in Green Bay.

Ooh, Green Bay, huh? Yeah, never been there. Go to the Packers Hall of Fame. You must be there though ChrisLeigh.com baby Green Bay Green Bay I'm going to be in Green Bay Ooh Green Bay huh Yeah never been there Go to the Packers Hall of Fame You must be doing a theater or something Yeah I'll definitely go to the Packers Hall of Fame I thought you were That's it huh I was trying to sell them on it No it's dope

It's sick Even if you're not into football It's cool It's like a church really Tulsa Looney Bin April 5th and 6th Desert Ridge Improv April 19th to the 21st

And the Comedy Mothership 26th to the 28th. Those are going to sell out, I think. I think so. It's already like a low-ticket warning. All right, kids, love you. Thanks for watching. Sometime in the early 80s,

REO Speedwagon's airplane made an unannounced middle-of-the-night landing. This is my friend Kyle McLaughlin, the star of Twin Peaks. And he's telling me about how he discovered a real-life Twin Peaks in rural North Carolina, not far from where he filmed Blue Velvet. What was on the plane was copious amounts of drugs coming in from South America. Supposedly, Pablo Escobar went looking for other spots, quiet, out-of-the-way places to bring in his cocaine. My name is Joshua Davis, and I'm an investigative reporter.

Kyle and I talk all the time about the strange things we come across. But nothing was quite as strange as what we found in Varnumtown, North Carolina. There's crooked cops, brother against brother. Everyone's got a story to tell, but does the truth even exist? Welcome to Varnumtown. Varnumtown is available wherever you listen to podcasts. Pluto TV is TV the way it should be, free. With over 300 channels, thousands of movies and TV shows costing zeros of dollars.

So if you want to watch shows like Ghost, The Walking Dead, CSI, Star Trek, or The Price is Right, well, The Price is Right, it's free. Hit movies like Braveheart, Sonic the Hedgehog, Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy, or Mean Girls won't cost you a thing, because everything is free. All you have to do is download the app, which, by the way, is also free. Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never.