The Golden Hour - Someone’s Getting Tased | The Golden Hour #51 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

The guys talk Chris' issue with salt, producer Nick getting stun gunned live on the show and getting a black eye, Logan Paul vs Dillon Danis, the Conor McGregor conspiracy, the "dark web", more Jada Pinkett and Will Smith controversy, Erik's Brad Pitt theory, a vegetable debate and much more! Get the full episode plus two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast BI-OPTIMIZERS - Go to https://magbreakthrough.com/golden and use promo code GOLDEN during checkout to save 10 percent. Firstleaf - Go to https://tryfirstleaf.com/golden to sign up and you’ll get your first SIX hand-curated bottles for just $44.95

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Ooh, yeah It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power

Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour My body is a temple. Your body's a temple? Is it? Yeah. Dude, I don't know, man. The salt you eat all the time.

I know. Yeah, you do gotta chill out on the salt. Why? Salt, baby. How chill out on the salt. Why? Salt bae. How about- He's salt bae. How about just taste the shit first? Okay?

This guy, he don't even taste it. He just assumes they didn't cook it right. Because you're- Like every place you go, you assume they didn't cook this right. No. So you have to get a bucket of sea salt and be like, alright, now I gotta make this better before I taste it. You know what that proves, Derek?

His mom can't cook. You're not right, though. Yeah. You're not right proves, Eric? His mom can't cook. You're not right, though. Mama can't cook? No, no, it's not. Because if everywhere you go, I'm like, I need seasoning, that means your mom can't cook. Your mom cooks like a white girl. First of all, no, it doesn't. Were you like this with girls back in the day? Were you just like, oh, I'm not even going to...

I have to pre-wash your pussy? No, dude. I like salt. I like the taste of salt. However, you're with me most of the time when I'm eating something I've already ordered before, so I know how it's going to taste. That's a good point. He does get the same thing all the time.

And I want salt on it. They cook it with salt, man. I know. Sometimes it actually is very salty. Of course it is very salty. Hey, can we just acknowledge Nick got beat up? What with the girls, man? Look at his eye, dog.

He took that picture. He's like, yeah, man, I was playing basketball. I took it in the elbow. In my head, I was driving bull shit. I wish I had a fight story. Why would he make that up? I use it for content, but it was just basketball. You weren't talking shit, like defending Dylan Dannis in the bar or something like that?

No. Didn't go out this weekend. We were just playing basketball under the hoop. Elbow came down as I was going up. You played for keeps. Prison rules. It was not even high level basketball. Everything about it was kind of sad. When Nick plays, I think of

Jim Carrey. This wasn't the NBA tryouts. We understand. This wasn't high level. What? Damn, I figured you guys were playing for keeps. Alright, so that's okay and nothing that's what this one yeah i picture i picture jim carrey from a cable guy when you're playing basketball i got a warm-up so uh you should make a and nothing video where it's just him hitting the ball. And nothing. Air balls. Yeah. Air ball.

So you got, how bad did it hurt? Not bad at all. Like could have kept playing, but it was kind of dripping blood. Did not think this was going to show up. Right, right. So your eye was worse than Logan Paul's cut. Yeah. It definitely looked worse than any four of those people that fought this one.

When he got hit with the microphone? Yeah. It was like, oh, call off the fight. And I was like, damn. And my boy Jesse was sending me videos. Like, it's bad, man. I was like, it doesn't look that bad. I mean, he got hit.

When they zoomed in before, he was like, go ahead and get a piece of this. And it was like barely. I think the blood makes it look. What's weird is they showed the floor of the hallway in the back of the weigh-ins. There's blood all over. In my head, I'm like, where the fuck did that come from? This guy hit him? With a microphone.

Pre-show? Yeah. This happens all the time in fighting. Not with a mic like that, but guys that hit each other. Not a weapon like that. You know, all I saw was Logan Paul. It's a weapon. Don't say weapon.

Can you show Logan Paul's tweet? Logan Paul tweeted afterwards. He was like, I was glad I beat this dude's ass. I was like, ooh, this is nice. Oh, they hate each other. You know what I mean? That's fucked up, bro. That's, that, okay, it's not a weapon. I was joking, but I mean that's a metal microphone. That hurts.

Definitely frowned upon. What if he had taken his eye out? Frowned upon? Yeah, you guys sound like some bitches right now. Oh my god. What if he lost an eye during this engagement? Well, I didn't say that. He wouldn't lose an eye, but to your point though, what if he hit him so hard? Replay it, please. What if he did cut the top of his eye where below your fight's going to go on?

If it's above the eye because the blood runs into the eye, you could risk the entire fight. You're telling me that this corner of this thing, the way he just swung at. He's dazed, too. And then it goes. You see the blood start coming out. It's crazy. It's such a pussy i mean no

no no no dude if you get hit with a microphone i saw i'm like what's happening this is no bro that's stupid let me take this off and hit this motherfucker in the face with this that's stupid i would still fight though yeah no i understand it's good drama like the actual product the fight product is ofrocious. The buildup is just what this is. So it wasn't a good fight? Oh, no. Oh, really?

Oh. Why? Oh, because they can't fight. Oh, really? But Logan's been training so hard, boxing, for years, right? How long have you been playing basketball, Nick? About two years. About two years.

Yeah, that's not long enough. Yeah, I hear you you That's longer than that That's longer than that I thought it was longer No Logan's around Two years of full dedication Jake's about three-ish now So I mean

It's tough man But he's also not full time Mary does WWE He does all sorts Of other shit Right right right And then he jumps into this I get that

Which kudos to him I still challenge this timeline Like how long ago Was that fight That Jake Paul had Yeah it seems like Like five or six years with the basketball player that he almost killed? You're referring to Jake Paul. I'm talking about longer.

I know, but even Jake Paul. Jake's been fighting longer. Yeah, but I'm saying it's got to be. I think that they've been. Four years max, Jake? Maybe five, six years. Yeah, but what about. No.

But some boxers are successful at like 21, 22, right? Because they've been boxing since they were four. Okay. That's like saying some comedians are good when they're 25 yeah they start when they're 60 right right right right yeah no i i mean yeah i don't it just takes a long time and that's what i'm saying to logan's point i'm not hating on him to his point like he's not a full-time boxer he's down to do this and make all the money and all get all the eyeballs there's not a ton of risk involved so it's pretty impressive

so all right so and then dylan dennis uh is not a boxer in any fashion right so he yeah so he's not a good boxer no so then you get like a bad product but these the young fan base doesn't care no i know that you know it's like yeah bring the drama in the pregame yeah you can't but don't swing yeah i agree i agree it is a weapon bro that's a fucking weapon it's a a heavy... I was joking when I said it, but it kind of is, dude. It's a heavy fucking microphone. Have you ever done a bit and you're like, ah, bomb. Yeah. You're like, oh, fuck. It's metal. Yeah. Oh, you hit your lip.

Yeah, I've hit my lip. I was just going to say, I've hit my lip. I'm like, oh, my God. No, you saw it. You know... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm not doing the show. Oh, man. But you know, you saw it. You saw it hit and then you saw the blood start to come out. That was pretty wild. And honestly, he looked dazed. It was a sharp.

I'm saying the end of it would look like it was sharp. I'm saying it was like a. It just adds to it because it's the buildup. We get why it adds to it. Casey mentioned that Logan threw the first bottle first. So it's like it's an in game then after that, right? I understand, except for it was a bottle of water. I know, but still.

I think the difference is Logan's used to dealing with other YouTubers when you're dealing with a legit fighter, like a guy who has fighting experience. It's like when Jake Paul snatched Floyd's hat and then got beat up. It's like, yeah, dude. They don't play this whole YouTube game.

Right, right, right. They're not doing this for the views. They're going to fuck you up, man. You mean they're not doing it for the money. Yeah going to fuck you up They're not doing it for the money It's disrespect You're not trying to make $25 million You just want to look like an idiot And then you're going to be working at a car wash

In like 10 years That shit works All these boxers are fucking idiots You're risking your life In a sport now Where you're not making any money. Like, for what? What's the purpose?

What's the purpose? So the YouTubers are coming in being like, hey, let's actually turn this into entertainment. Right. Sports entertainment. Right, right.

You can do both of them. It pisses me off. You can do both. I understand that. And the ones that do both, we respect them. Well, I respect all of them, but the ones that can do both

are the ones that make all the money. Exactly. Exactly. But Gregor's out there fucking attacking a bus. Right. That was wild. That was the wild days. Talking about Muslims and shit. But he's like, when he threw the thing at the bus, did he actually...

Do you think McGregor would throw a dolly at a human being? Yes. You think so? You've never seen him hit an old man in a bar? What happened? He literally slobbered an old man. Did he know

that he was being filmed? No. See, I know it's a conspiracy. I disagree with that. Here we go. Hot take! He takes a plane from Dublin, a private plane lands a mad square garden i've been around the ufc the security get in the back is damn near they're not landing but care and they just happen to have all this camera footage of inside the bus the throne of dolly yeah a little it was a little weird really knew the

dolly was being filmed i don't think he knew this when he punched him. Oh, no. The guy in the bar? No. No, no. No, we're talking about the dolly. No, no, no, no. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying if- Eric's saying this is set up.

Oh, no. No, no. No, that's what I'm asking. This is bad PR. No, no. Well, this is what I'm saying. This is what he did do. No, this is what-

Even the Irish public were like, fuck this dude. No, no, no. You're misunderstanding what I'm saying. You're misrepresenting what I'm saying. I'm saying he did this because he didn't know he was being correct. I thought you were saying, no, no,

no. I'm saying he didn't know he was being filmed. So he was acting, he was acting himself. Okay. I thought you're talking about the doll. No, I'm saying the Dolly,

he wasn't going to throw that Dolly at a real person. What I'm saying is that shit was staged. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. There's bad blood there, but I think he heightened it because he knew the cameras were around. Yes. dolly at a real person what i'm saying is that shit was staged yeah that's what i'm saying yeah there's bad blood there but i think he heightened it because he knew the cameras were around boom so what i'm saying though is that in this situation with like you know you're up in uh you're you're doing the talk thing there's like isn't it standard practice to act like a fool

at the weigh-in so we can hype up the fight yeah okay so. So Logan Paul throws a water bottle at the guy. You're probably being like, all right, we got to go. Come on, dude. And this guy grabs a microphone with a sharp end and almost slices his eye out. You know? Yeah. I think that that's. It's too much. It's too much.

Even Logan was like, damn, bro. Logan was like, what are you doing? I thought we were selling this thing. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So I think that made the fight better. I think Logan had more interest to like, no, I got to hurt this dude. Yeah.

He didn't really hurt him, but yeah. Well, I mean, I don't even know how you. It's tough. Like other guys tough. That's the thing about MMA guys though, right? Like, am I wrong about this? Like, dude, they're getting hit with like these big gloves they do they get hit all the time those gloves fuck you up really yeah because they're eight

ounces 10 ounces probably for them 10 ounces but those gloves don't do they still fucking hurt so i know they still fucking hurt but these guys like dude these mma guys in the boxing league they get hit so many times and they just keep getting hit like they don't go down. Right? They're also not fighting very good guys. Oh, I see. If they fought, like, a real boxer, they're going to – Like, watch when Tyson Fury and Francis. Like, watch that. Two heavyweights.

Watch what happens with that. Francis – like, Tyson's not playing any games. He's not a YouTuber. He's going to fuck them up. That's going to happen? Yeah, yeah. Mike Tyson. Oh, Tyson Fury.

Yeah, yeah. Got it. But Mike Tyson might fight. Did you see Mike Tyson fall on that hoverboard? No. Oh, yeah. That's old. Yeah, Tyson Fury. Got it. But Mike Tyson might fight. Did you see Mike Tyson fall on that hoverboard? No. Oh, yeah, that's old. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that old?

Yeah, it's old. I just saw that. I didn't see it. That's what I hate about the internet. You think you've seen something new for the first time. It'd be like somebody going, y'all seen the Brady Bunch? Oh, I've seen this. That's old, yeah.

That's old as fuck. I just saw this the other day. I don't even know how old this was. That shit says knocked out. I don't... Oh, shit. Those things are tricky, dog. Give them tricky dog the bitches are tricky man but hold on but that thing like i i i would i have you ever been on one of those yeah i would never get on one of those fucking things i've been on a segway you're

gonna fall yeah they're dicey yeah but kids man they're just like i mean if you weigh 19 pounds 20 pounds yeah but if you're if you're like a big person 200 just like. I mean, if you weigh 19 pounds. 20 pounds. Yeah. But if you're like a big person. 200 something. Like, dude, it's not for you. Fuck that, dude. Yeah, don't do it.

That's one of those, well, you deserve. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Deserve it. Like that guy is a world-class athlete his whole life, right? And he's balling. You're like, oh, wow. Right.

Maybe I shouldn't get on there. You know what I mean? Yeah. Exactly. That's the commercial for don't get on those. Right, right, right. It's not for everybody. Because if you see me on that, you're just like, what?

Well, yeah, no, I know. I get it. We're waiting for the fall. I can't wait for the fall. I come in with my arm is broken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you want a hoverboard? It's like a fat chick on one of those segways.

What are those called? The hoverboards. They don't hover. Yeah. They don't hover They don't hover So don't call it that But call it a bicycle They call it a hoverboard though

It's not a bicycle I'm pretty sure they call it a hoverboard There's a hovercraft Yeah hoverboard But they don't hover I will never go on one of those I'll never go on one of those I think you will I don't know. I will never go on one of those. I'll never go on one of those. I think you will.

I don't know, man. My back already hurts. Oh, you really got to show that clip of Calvin. Remember the segways, though? Remember how big the segways were? Oh, okay. Remember the big-ass segways that were all over Santa Monica? Yeah.

Remember they're everywhere? Oh, because you go on a segway tour. Yeah, you could go on the tour, but it like a big-ass thing and then someone was going down Like the Santa Monica Mountains and fell off the side and died and they got rid of the guy that created I think he he got killed somewhere. He was like yeah like an off-road one was like check it out Oh my god. That's like the guy who did the identity theft. He's like Identity lock like where he is no, like you can't steal identity and identities

if you have my company help you. And then he put on his billboard his social security number and he got hacked immediately. Immediately. Did you know about this? No. Oh, it's so funny, dude.

He's like, this is my social security number. This is how I saved my company. Dude, he got hacked immediately. Somebody stole his identity immediately. It's probably some 14-year-old kid who's like, really?

Check this out. Yeah. Stolen $13,000. immediately. It's probably some 14 year old kid who's like, really? Check this out. Stolen 13 times. It says apparently when you publish your social security number prominently on your website. My name is Todd Davis. This is my social security number. And he was just so concerned. Look at his face too. 13 times. You've been a victim of identity theft at least

13 times now. Well, the whole point is they're going to try. He was so confident and cocky, though. He was just like, no, but my company's the shit. He's also older. He goes like this, put the billboard up, and then he goes, oh, no. It was like this, Chris. Immediately he had bills to like fucking, you know,

OnlyFans? OnlyFans. Oh, what the fuck Drugs Yeah God damn it dad Yeah Todd Davis Oh there you go

Yeah I don't know I just So is his company still popping or is it like you were gonna fold up shop now This went horribly wrong

Well I was on one of those Segway things I did this commercial even though I got cut out of the commercial. And they were like, hey, it was for a Super Bowl commercial. Like, all right, you have to learn.

I said, I don't know how to ride this. They were like, we have to learn how to ride it. And here's the thing about it. You have a feeling of safety. Once you start going, you're like, oh, this is pretty cool. All you got to do, you hit one bad turn. Oh, it's terrible, yeah. Yeah, and that's what happened to me.

I was like practicing, and I got around to a car. I was trying to get around a car, and you can't maneuver. Then it was just like pow. Do-do-do-do-do-do. I tumbled out, and I was like, oh, okay. Hey, Nick, they said that guy sold his company for $2.3 billion. Yeah. Joke's on us.

$2.3. Yeah, billion. But they stole $3.5 from him. What do you mean? He's like, I actually owe a billion dollars. When was this? But the thing is, you have to do, like, the point of, like, let's say you have a home security system. The only way to check if the home security system really works is somebody has to try to get in your home.

So this is why he did this. He was like, here. So yes, people tried to steal his identity, but what happened? There needs to be some follow-up. But no security system is like, all right, sometime this week we're going to send our goons and see if they can get in.

Should be secured. But that's what movies are always about. They always have a bank theme. The real-life story of the, what's the guy, Catch Me If You Can? He started working for the FBI. Yeah, eventually got a job. Yeah, and I'm sure he was like trying to hack systems and stuff. That's where they

hired these people. Anytime somebody gets arrested for some big time hacking or whatever, they go, okay, we'll take you to jail or you have to work for us to not to make sure our system can't be hacked. But they have to try. You know what? Let's take a little break. You're being Dania, Florida? Dania? Yep. Improv? dania improv improv friday and saturday and i am at the seneca casino that is

buffalo new york niagara falls technically that's november 4th and 3rd and 4th it's a friday saturday friday is almost sold out in saturday get your tickets right now thinkboy.com then the seneca casino niagara falls new y, or outside Buffalo. Come get yourself. Tell you what, man. Eric, I've had trouble freaking sleeping lately. I've been exhausted. My mind just won't stop. And then a little birdie, he's taking a crap right now,

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Magnesium Breakthrough by BiOptimizer for an exclusive offer for the Golden Hour listeners and watchers. That's magbreakthrough.com slash golden promo code golden during checkout. One more ad, then we're back to the program with the boys here at the Golden Hour. To say I'm shook is an understatement. I've always been into sort of wines. Brian Callen swears by wines. And after becoming a member of First Leaf, turns out I can add all sorts of Merlots and red wines, white wines, whatever it is to my favorites. First Leaf knew what wines to send me that felt familiar.

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we doing here first leaf is that nice give your palate what it really wants with first leaf go to tryfirstleaf.com slash golden to sign up you'll get your first six hand curated bottles for just 44.95 that's right try firstleaf.com that's t-r-y-f-i-r-s-t-l-e-a-f.com slash golden try firstleaf.com slash golden enjoy the wine what's like that kid who came up with the developed the silk road basically the dark web he's in prison for like 40 years. It's like, nah man, instead of throwing this kid in the fucking can, use this bitch. He's brilliant. That guy, he's a beast.

So what is this? Silk Road is where you can exchange basically drugs. Oh, this guy made this and then... And it's brilliant. They couldn't catch him forever, but he developed the whole algorithm, everything. So he made this dark web to do this? No.

So then why is he in jail? Well, because it started off as like this simple transaction because he's kind of about tax and stuff. So he's like simple, like, you know, just regional stuff. But then the cartel's like, oh, say less. Right. You can sell drugs and not get caught? And so then they start moving Wade on there.

And then FBI, the feds go, hold up, Bubba. And then he gets, you know, he's in prison. Look at that top right picture. It just seems like, though, that what, like, you know, people do illegal shit on Facebook, too. So why is Mark Zuckerberg not in jail? His thing, he got in trouble with something where Okay, it was something, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if it's true or not,

but he, like, agreed to kill somebody on there. This guy? Yeah, he got in trouble with something where... Okay, it was something, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if it's true or not, but he agreed to kill somebody on there. This guy? Yeah, he hired somebody on the Silk Road. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, that's illegal. Now, we don't know if that's true. Got it. He denies all of it, but that's why he's in prison, because murder for hire.

There you go. Wait. Oh, wow. Paid $730,000 for murder for hire. Oh, okay. So that's why he's in prison. Not for creating the dark web. For both of it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If that's the case, then all gun manufacturers should be in jail. What? Because of what? You're saying? I'm saying just creating the dark web should not put you in jail. Yeah, no, no, no, no. But right here it says, yeah, no, that's what I was saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on. Go back, Nick. There's what he's in prison for. Go back. If you go back. So it says 2015 Your sentence is

Double life imprisonment Plus 40 years Thanks for the 40 Without the possibility of parole Ulbricht was ordered to pay About 183 million restitution Based on total sales Of illegal drugs

And counterfeit IDs Through the Silk Road Okay so he was doing Okay what I'm saying is Yeah if he was He was doing illegal stuff With this thing he created Right

Okay Yeah He wasn't No I think he just created The marketplace He created the marketplace Okay, what I'm saying is he was doing illegal stuff with this thing he created. Right. Okay. Yeah. He wasn't. No, I think he just created the marketplace. He created the marketplace. But what's the thing it says about him? Murder for hire, though. That's illegal.

You can't fucking hire someone to murder somebody. It seems like that's what he was doing. But that's the double life sentence. That's not from that. No. Double life sentence is creating that entire app. It's for all these. What the fuck?

That's odd, though, no? Robert was trying to engage in continuing criminal enterprise because they're selling drugs on his shit. Okay, this is my point. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. Money laundering. Yeah, we are.

Conspiracy to commit computer hacking. And then the murder's on top of this. But originally he was busted for that. But I'm saying... It's an interesting story. I know, but what I'm saying is there's no way he's in jail for the creation of this thing. It's the use of it, his continued use of it in a criminal way is why he.

It has to be that. It has to be that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if you can arrest somebody, put them away for 40 years for creating something that bad things can be used for. Elon Musk. No gun companies should be allowed to be used for. Elon Musk. No gun companies should be allowed to be in existence.

Or Facebook. Yeah, exactly. It's all corrupt anyway, though. This whole fucking, everything's corrupt. There's so many layers of corruption with all of this shit.

Yeah, yeah. Now you're getting it. But it's true, though. I know, but I'm just saying, it's like, that didn't make sense to me. But now I see all this stuff. The guy was like,

ooh, he just stayed in it. He should have been like, oh, I gotta shut this down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just stayed in it. He should have been like, oh, I got to shut this down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? He should have been like, oh, this is bad. This thing's weird because you didn't need the currency. They started doing crypto and stuff on there. And then the government, they can't regulate that.

So then they shut them down. It gets weird. You know what's really weird, too, is when you see how they're saying you have to pay restitution to who? The government? Yeah. They're saying, hey, we want those taxes for the drugs you saw the legal drugs yeah that's why they should just make all this shit legal and just tax it yeah i want to be mad agree cocaine and all that shit you think cocaine should be legal yeah why not i can i'm not saying i can drive a car like what i can buy a gun but i can't get cocaine yeah no I'm just asking I don't know I can get

fucking painkillers Rachel's Mayfield's favorite show is this it's about the border it's like oh yeah yeah I know it

border border wars yeah no it's crazy dude it's like it's like customs yeah so they

oh they're smuggling dude check this out what the fuck these fucking cartels catch a smuggler no no no it's not that it's just a show about the border guys.

They're sending meth in boxes. Yeah. Like there was these five boxes, right? Yeah. With these like plastic containers full of like liquid meth. Yeah. They label it as like spring water. Tide.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's Tide. And they're sending it in the mail. It's so obvious. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not. And they're sending it in the mail. It's so obvious. Yeah. No, no, but obviously they're sending air conditioners with guns in them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's crazy is most of the time, that's just what we see. Most of it gets through. Like they'll have bananas and they peel the bananas and there's just fucking meth in there. Yeah, dildos. Yeah. Dude, yeah. I don't like that show. It's not well done.

I don't know about the secret dildo business. Yeah, dude. Secret dildos. It's massive. It's totally illegal. Black market. Sometimes they steal them and use them for themselves. They go like this, hmm, dildos.

Hmm, no, you can't bring those over. And they go, I'm going to have fun with this later. Yep. And then they just suck it in the back room. I saw that episode. Cucks. Yeah. The other guys watch them.

They go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, fucking weird. It's like you want to send something legal illegally. We seized that. Just to make it feel like you got something illegal. Yeah.

We seized that. You should send knees illegally. And then when they make it through. In air conditioners. Yeah, dark. The buttons all getting hit. Because the dog comes. Has anyone in here bought anything off the dark web?

I wouldn't even know how to get on. I don't either. I don't know the dark web. Yeah, yeah, yeah. anything off the dark web? I wouldn't even know how to get on. I don't either. I don't know the dark web. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is the dark web? We don't know. I'm asking because I feel like Nick has. Yeah, Nick got that black eye on dark web.

Because he didn't pay the guy. There was actually a former employee here that maybe sold me something that said it was from a doctor. But I ended up getting it tested, and it was definitely not from a doctor and could have gotten me hooked on drugs. And it could have also been laced with fentanyl. Yeah, luckily. The old noggin.

Fool Nick once, shame on me. Not just a hat rack. It's kind of hard to, like, when you're doing it on the black eye side. Because he couldn't look any dumber. It's hard to trust your judgment. He's all the old noggin. Not on my watch.

Oh, ow. But when I was a little suspicious of it, just because of how it looked, it was supposed to be Adderall. And I was suspicious of it because the color did not look the same. And I looked up on ChatGBT. I was like, how can I get drugs tested in LA? And there's an LGBTQ center that once a month they put up a pop-up van and

you can just bring your drugs to be tested. Did you have to act gay? No. I tried to act normal and make jokes. I was like, oh, this is like a... Nick's all, hey. How long is this going to take? So I want some of these things. So you, wow.

Okay, so you tested the drugs and what was in it. And so they test for fentanyl, amphetamine, and methamphetamine. And Adderall should only have amphetamine. Right. And it tested negative for fentanyl, positive for amphetamine. And then I was like, I was trying to joke with them. I was like, this is like a paternity test. I was getting back.

And they just thought it was some drug addict, so they didn't laugh. And then it tested positive for methamphetamine. Whoa. Wow. So you're about to take that. I was out $400. Yeah. $400.

Oh, and did you ask the guy? Were you like, hey, man, this is math. I asked for Adderall. Yeah. And he goes, same thing. He goes, he just didn't respond. I was like, what the fuck? Well, you know what's amazing is this is one of these things where it's like they know people are doing drugs.

Yeah. And they're like, look, the people aren't going to stop doing drugs, but let's make sure they're not doing drugs that's going to kill them. I mean, what a society we live in that we have to have that in place. Yeah. So wait, so you. That's equivalent to Nick left his baby at a firehouse. You know what I mean? No questions asked.

So you got... This was from the dark web? It had to be. His dealer got it, said it was from a doctor. It was from the dark web. Right. I don't think... And I even asked, like, before I got tested,

I was like, this from a doctor? Because, like, I had bought from the same person before, and it was definitely Adderall. Now I have been prescribed adult ADD. Cool. So now you can get it. Yeah. Legally. Legally.

Before we move on. Oh, my gosh. Nick is actually down. Show and tell. Yeah. So speaking of the dark web, we bought this on Amazon. Okay. Right?

That's the dark web now. It's supposed to be like 51 million volts of whatever stun gun stuff and nick is down to take a shot you're kidding me no yeah look at his look at his eyes he's damaged goods already so let's oh my god so your shoulder in the neck or what do you think what do you think neck i did my shoulder i did my chest you've done it. Yeah You did it, but I didn't do it I mean Okay, here we go, but he has a sweater on it doesn't matter It doesn't matter you know if a crooks coming like take off your shirt if you get a lightning bolt It's not gonna care if it has a shirt. I see if I could attach it

Hold on don't attack me though. Don't attack me, though. Don't touch your computer or anything. Ready? He's right. He's right. Is he right? Yeah. I don't know.

By the way, the sound goes away when it hits your skin, so it's still going. Okay. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I could have got him. It is painful, right? You should have elbowed him in the fucking head. What if Nick was like, that's like crook practice. You know what I mean? This is like a training session for criminals.

It's all he cared about. I'm going to pay Taze you. See if you can get me. It's like, oh, the God. That hurt pretty bad, though. Did it hurt? Yeah, it looks like it hurts. What does it feel like? Let's do it. bad though did it yeah it looks like you feel like

uh let's do it no way i would love for you guys to do it oh my god it would go so far never not never never kidding i don't want to die i'm 51 years old you're not gonna die no i know that i just don't want to be hurt like a normal person thank you yeah i'll be a pussy i don't want to do it this is why this is why why Asian stuff is so fetish. But wait, so what does it feel like? Like hot or? I don't know. Like kind of like someone's biting you kind of.

Okay. Okay. It feels sharp. It's probably like laser. So one time I was getting the laser thing. And then they were like, you had a scar, and they were like, oh, we could just laser this and it'll be okay. So they put some numbing stuff on my

butt, right, on my cheek. And then they went, okay, you ready? After like five minutes of the numbing, and they went, and I was like, ah! Oh, it didn't work. The numbing stuff. It doesn't go that deep. Where the fuck's the numbing shit at? You know? Dude, if we could recreate that with this right now on your butt,

it would be amazing. Yeah, it would be amazing. You want us to get some hair off your ass with that thing? No. No, but also your butt's supposed to be real sensitive. Like the cheek area, right? Was that what it was? Yeah.

Yeah. It's supposed to hurt. Like when you get tattooed there. It's so hard. They said, well, you need to do one more. No. They said one more just to make sure this thing comes off. And I was like, I did it again.

And I was like, no, that's it. I don't care what my ass looks like. Oh, really? Yeah, well, who cares? Who cares about my ass? No, I don't care. I'm not an ass model. You're the one that signed up for it, though.

I know, because they said it would be. The doctor's like, we didn't ask you to come. They said it would be. They didn't tell me the pain level that it was going to be at. It's probably the same as getting a tattoo removed. You basically got a tramp stamp. That shit's supposed to hurt so much. Yeah.

But you deserve that. If getting a tattoo removed hurts, good. I mean, I don't... You know what I mean? It's not something that is high on the priority list to change. Yeah. Who cares if it hurts? It's like cure cancer first.

You did a good thing. Before you make a laser thing feel better. Well, yeah, agree. But also, if you're like a neonauts or something before you make a laser thing feel better. Well, yeah, I agree. But also if you're like a neonaut or something, you had a big fucking racist sign. Yeah, people make mistakes. And then you grow up. You're like, you know what? I want to get through.

Yeah, if you got it when you were younger. I would get a bang. I'm sick of wearing turtlenecks. Turtlenecks are pretty ill. Yeah, but all the time. Not in the summer. And everybody, you know, someone might be like no no no no no yeah you have an awkward conversation yeah but you could turn the swastika into it like a tic-tac-toe

board you could be like i just i love games dude you turn like a rim you're pete davidson oh there you are with a fucking turtle yep yeah look at that i look good dude it looks like you're a poem you're doing poetry well that was the the whole reason though i i don't remember why i got it such an actor i know but poetry well that was the the whole reason no i i don't remember why i got it such an actor i know but i did that because the episode before you look like you're about to rant about the strike that turtleneck makes your nose like so big really yeah you look like look how big your nose looks you look like adrian brody oh maybe it's just the maybe it's just huge i mean maybe it's just the fucking go back and forth.

Go to a different... Just scroll. Scroll through the scrub. Scrub through the... Oh, you're going to get Adrian Brody. Is that what you're doing? Let me get a screenshot. The pianist. No, dude. Your nose is super big. I don't agree.

This is your super big nose face. My nose is just my nose. I don't agree. It's a big nose summer. It's something just my nose. I don't agree. No. It's a big nose summer. It's something going on. I don't agree. Are you okay in this picture? I was good in this picture.

Maybe your sinuses were acting up or something that day. Yeah, there you are. Oh, wow. There you are with that dick nose. Adrian Brody's cool, man. Yeah, he is. You have to say that because at the meetings when you see him. His nose crooked like my dick.

At the nose meetings? At the big nose white guy big hair meetings. It's a very specific group. You know what I mean? I'm at the other big nose meeting, but Chris is at this particular meeting. How many big nose meetings? I got one too. Yeah.

Your nose is more like a bell pepper. After it's been smashed. You know what I mean? You got that portobello mushroom nose. It's just wide. That particular picture right there of you right there, Chris, is like your nose is like four inches. Like from here to here, it looks like it's four inches.

Like you just told a lie. You look like... You look like you're doing... I mean, look at... I don't agree, dude. You don't see it? No. I have a big nose.

It doesn't look bigger there. Guys, who's with me? Let's take a vote. I mean, so my nose now... My nose now doesn't look that big? Oh, wait, wait. You're saying the turtleneck? Can you, like, turn slow?

Because now I'm seeing, like, an angle where... Oh, stop, wait. You're saying the turtleneck? Can you like turn slow? Because now I'm seeing like an angle where... Oh, stop right there. That's the angle. God damn. Give me your phone. I'll take a picture. Can you just take a good look? Like that's the angle right there where it's just like, yeah, like a ski slope.

That's okay. That's okay. Yeah, it's when it starts... Yeah, I get it. It's a side profile. Yeah, like a ski slope. That's okay. That's okay. Yeah, it's when it starts. Yeah, I get it. It's a side profile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's just something about that angle. It's the turtleneck.

Oh, you know what he looks like in that turtleneck? You look like Gru. No, I don't. Bring up Gru, Nick. Are we talking the guy from Guardians of the Galaxy? No. Despicable Me. Yeah.

In a black turtleneck. Isn't he bald? Yeah. Yeah, but your nose. You look like Gru. Likeicable Me. Yeah. In a black turtleneck. Isn't he bald? Yeah. Yeah, but your nose in the turtleneck. You're like Cool Groove. Like if Groove and Kirk Douglas had a baby. Groovy. You're groovy?

Oh, that's you right there. Yes. There it is right there. There it is. If he was thinner, yeah. There he is. If he was thinner, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a bit me. Yeah, yeah. The bottom one. No, the young one. The bottom one. No, look at the kid version Oh wow He's even doing the

Wow, look at that See That one, that one, that one The legs are small too That's it Same leg Same leg Oh my god

The young one I'm young Gru Yeah, you're young Gru Yeah Okay I think the takeaway Is no more turtlenecks Well, I wore it as one. I'm young Gru? Yeah, you're young Gru. Yeah. Okay. I think the takeaway is don't wear turtlenecks. Well, I wore it as a joke because I fucking can't remember why. I cannot remember why.

Something happened this episode before with a turtleneck. I thought it was so funny, so I got a turtleneck. You should have had the gold chain out like Pac in the video. Oh, right. That was cool that he did that, but that's Pac's thing. Yeah, all right. But that's Pac's thing, you know? Speaking of Tupac.

Oh. Jaden, what is going on? I don't know. I don't know. I want to talk about it, but then also it's like we don't know everything. It's just really odd. But talk about it. No, no, no, no, no.

Obviously, yes, as for jokes and all that shit, but it's just so weird that she just keeps talking. You know why she's sad? She has a book coming out. I know. I know. And my own question is, why does she have a book? Money?

Dude, they're set. This whole thing is just so weird that she just keeps talking and talking and talking and making everything, everything way worse. Will Smith looks so sad in the back. He's all. Can I say something, please? Can I say something, please? This is what I don't understand.

She's revealing that they haven't been together for seven years. Right. Then what the fuck was he doing at the Oscars with her? Right. And what? No, no. The thing is like. Did you hear?

She goes, that night I was his wife. What? It doesn't make. It's like. It makes it a thousand times worse now. It does, yeah. It's some cuck shit, man. No, it makes it a thousand times worse.. It does, yeah. It's some cuck shit, man. No, it makes it a thousand times worse.

And she has to know this. And you're going to hear about this on Congratulations podcast and Riffin with Griffin. And I don't know, on the Shob Show, I don't know, you just talked fighting. Just fighting. Well, the slap. I'm firing the kid. The slap. Firing the kid.

Okay, you're also going to hear it there. So just to put that out there. Because all I'm saying is this. It makes it a thousand times worse, man. It does. I agree. It makes Will look better. We have sympathy for Will now.

I think this brings Will back. He was dealing with that raging contest. I think at this point, people are like, what are you doing? What are you doing, bro? First of all, you're Will Smith. He could come out with an Instagram post right now and be like, look, I'm single.

I'm ready to mingle. Okay? Have I done some stuff in the past? You know, maybe I had a boyfriend or two. Yeah. Whatever. No, I'm saying just come out with it. Everything.

Whatever it is. Whatever it is. And move on with life. And then be like, and I'm saying just come out with it, everything. Whatever it is. Whatever it is. And move on with life and then be like, and I'm done with her. Because like, let's be 100 about this. I don't get it. Yeah, yeah. Like this is one of those things. Oh, she's hot.

This is opposite of Rachel and I. Right. You know what I mean? When people say, how'd you get that beautiful girl? I don't know what he's still doing. Oh, she's pretty smoky, dude. You think she is? Yeah.

Jada? Yeah. Oh, really? How old is she? Now? How old is she? I don't know. For being 50, she's fucking banging, dude.

She's just batshit crazy. Menace to society? If you grow old with someone, you want to go back to her menace to society? Okay, then Madonna's hot now. Madonna's hot too yeah madonna got a wagon in 1982 when she how hot she was madonna got a wagon not for 52 she ain't bad yeah no that's the narrative can't be she's ugly that no that's a bad take it's part of her it's part of her personality makes anything banging for... She's banging for 52. Her personality is just like...

Oh, trash. That's what I'm saying. You're putting up with all that and you're 52? Come on. When you're Will Smith... These pictures aren't helping your gays. Well, I don't know, man. They've been together so long.

He probably doesn't know anything else. Can we show Margot Robbie's pictures too? She probably doesn't know anything else. She doesn't have a crazy boyfriend. Why are you bringing Margot Robbie into this? Because that's what we have sex with. Well, that's what people... That's a lie. I don't know anything else. She doesn't have a crazy boyfriend. Why are you bringing Margot Robbie into this? Because that's who he had sex with. Well, that's what people... That's a lie.

I don't know if that's true. It's true. Okay, and why do you know that? It's true. Come on. He's in Hollywood, dude. He's not that great of an actor. So they were like...

When they were like... Dude, when they were... He's bad take Eric today. When they were kissing and stuff in the movie set, they were like... Bad take Eric. Listen, Brad Pitt's another one. Brad Pitt's another one who's not a great actor because he gets with every woman, every lead actress he's with, he ends up with... He's a horrible text.

He got with Glynis Paltrow. He got with Angelina Jolie. He got with the girl before that. You know what? You're reading too many people's magazines. What does a bad actor thing have to do with it? Because you're acting. You're not supposed to have feelings.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, that's hilarious. So you're thinking, like, the guy's like, oh, fuck, she's hot. Yeah. Because he can't be there. Yes, he loves her. Yeah. Brad Pitt falls for every.

Oh, I fell in love. We were close. Exactly. He falls for every. Another sex scene. Hell, yeah. He falls for every lead actress he's with. Jennifer Aniston. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow. These are all every lead actress he's with. Jennifer Aniston.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow. These are all rumors, though, bro. They weren't rumors. They were together. I don't know, bro. Margot Robbie and Will Smith. He was with...

Oh, my God. This is known shit. I know. I know. He left Jennifer Aniston for Gwyneth Paltrow. And I get shit for vaccines? But that is true. This is true.

He left Gwyneth Paltrow. He left Jennifer Aniston for Gwyneth Paltrow. This is true. He left Jennifer Aniston for Gwyneth Paltrow. He left Gwyneth Paltrow for Jennifer Aniston. Yes, that is true. And he was in movies with them. Yes, yes, that's true. And then he fell for them because he's a terrible actor. That take is hilarious. Chris, he didn't know how to suspend his disbelief.

That's really funny, dude. I like that you think that, and I like that take. I don't know if that's really how it works, but the Margot Robbie, Will Smith thing. Same thing, he did that too. He was like, oh shit, I like that you think that, and I like that take. I don't know if that's really how it works, but the Margot Robbie, Will Smith thing. Same thing. He did that too. He was like, oh, shit. I like this white girl.

That seems like rumors to me. Well. Look at all these rumors happening every day. Sometimes. Oh, God. But Margot Robbie, I just, I don't know. Yeah. She's so hot, but like. You remember when the internet was like Margot Robbie's mid. It I don't know. Yeah. She's so hot, but like.

You remember when the internet was like Margot Robbie's mid. It's like, oh, buddy. You guys are stupid. You know what I'm trying to make is, if you have any kind of attitude, like the videos that have come out about how she treats him. Horrible. Even from her own Instagram. Do you see the video where he's just cooking or something?

And he goes, hey, remember when I said don't record me? Right, right, right. Respect my space. Remember that? Yeah. And she was like, you see what I got to deal with? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Will Smith.

Right. Hit her. No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. I'm bad take? No, I was trying to help you out. You're not helping.

Oh, sorry, man. Sorry. I got it. Oh, look how bad. Look how bad. He's not having it today. I would say don't just start filming me without asking me if you could film me. Come help us again, please.

I'm still dealing with foolishness. Don't. No, no. She, yeah, because she just don't just. Would you say. And who puts us out? Hold on. That hurts that we caused between one another. My social media presence is my bread and butter, okay?

So you can't just use me for social media and not, you know, don't just start. I'm standing in my house. Don't just start rolling. Please watch a stare at the red table Because she's helped us a lot Can't you tell Yeah but that She sucks Yeah okay

Your wife would never post that Are you fucking kidding me That might be a bit they're doing You get a defender Is that not a bit Hit him A bit It could be

Oh what a great bit It's not good But bro Have you seen Instagram They're full of bad bits Chris What I'm saying is I don't care. Show the bikini photo again.

Woo! That looks so hot now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I understand. That would bring me right back home. Yeah. I'd be like, all right, girl.

What I'm saying is this. What I'm saying is this. This guy is like an international superstar and all this kind of shit. I'm sure he can get whatever he wants. Top five most famous people on earth. Famous. Why are you dealing with this? Forget about whatever.

Yeah, she's taking care of herself. She's rich. She got money. Great. He doesn't know anything different. He's been with her forever. Well, no, not the last six years. Okay, okay.

That's why all this stuff that's coming out, it makes him look even worse. I agree, except for... I understand what you're saying. It's not a good look, but also like. It's worse than a good look. This is. Bro, but haven't you been in situations where you're like, I got to get out of this situation and you just didn't? Not if I'm Will Smith.

Nah, bro. I go fire up the private jet. But he's a person, though. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Chris, this is my whole point. This is why that Oscar night is a thousand times worse. Because up to that point right there, they're actively living a lie.

Right. They are saying, like, this is, like, fake stuff. I get it. This is like they're standing in front of their, with their picket fence like, we're happy. Yeah, I agree. I understand what you're saying. It makes it all. So then you go.

What is the pointing he's doing? The lie is even worse. So he slapped Chris Rock for nothing. No, yes. For nothing. I see what you're saying. For the show. Except for in his head, he was like, I got to make this right.

I do love my wife. She's controlling him. Whatever it is, he's under a fucking tax. I think he was sick of being made fun of. He's like sick of being the butt of the joke. It makes the whole situation worse. Yes. That's all I'm saying.

Okay. My point I'm trying to make to you is that that was already bad. We were like, oh, man, because we made it about before we made it about like, man, comedies, they're attacking comedy. This has nothing to do with that right right this has to do with like a man that's trapped in a situation and why why that does not look like a healthy happy i think we have more sympathy for will i think he comes back after this i don't think so maybe you don't think maybe i think if i'd be like damn i think if that was the point they were trying to do this for that makes it even worse i don't think they're trying to do this for, that makes it even worse.

I don't think they're trying to do it. I think now people are like, poor Will. I think Will Smith could come back from this, except for the fact that he already was at the age where his star was going to start declining. Oh, it already was happening. So I don't know if he'll... He'll never be like...

Well, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it's a weird fucking thing that's happening because, like, I mean, dude, you see a picture of Will Smith now. be like well you know yeah but um yeah it's a weird fucking thing that's happening because like i mean dude it's you see a picture of will smith now what do you think men in black yeah no you don't yeah you don't though but you used to it's great i know it's a joke yeah you think you used to think fucking bad boys you know no you used to think you used to think that you would start singing the fresh prince of bel-air song now you're just going like this oof yeah now you go

it's crazy dude and what's even crazier is we don't know the whole story that's what's even crazier it's gonna come out in her book and i'm buying a version of the whole story will come out her version what if yeah what if they're what if they're like what if like this is planned out you know you know you have these crisis management people and they're like well what should we do and they're like okay here's an idea why don't you start trashing him in the media yeah he'll get sympathy it's like what like who knows like like if it's orchestra if it's all what's worse that it's orchestrated that this is happening yeah or that she just has no regard for his feelings or anything i think it's more of that it's all bad oh my god she wouldn't be down for this like hey let's ruin your brand and make you seem like a complete bitch to make will all the things that come out though like she said

that just a headline of like my son saved me by uh uh you know introducing me to psychedelics right i was like what oh yeah that was What? Tupac is her soulmate. What? Yeah, crazy. I just, oh my God. And she used to sell crack. Yeah. Wait, what?

That's what she said. She used to sell crack. Oh, right. A queen pin. She wanted to be a queen pin. I was going with some hardcore. Your past stuff, it's like Cardi B. No.

All right, you used to be this person, fine. I understand, but she was acting like it was a thing that she was like. She was like a thug. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's like, come on. I just don't get it. I don't get it. And I just don't think it's going to happen.

What's up, Nick? Do you know Rain, the vet tech that we talked to from Alaska on the Patreon episode? Yeah. That's out now, patreon.com slash the golden hour podcast. She said she's down to do the dating game next week. Oh, yeah. So we'll put a small clip in here. And if you want a chance to get Rain's information.

The Alaskan girl? Yeah, she's a pearl in Alaska. Very cute. Diamond in Alaska. A pearl in Alaska. Diamond in the rough. Email the golden hour subs at gmail.com and tell us a little bit about yourself and we'll pick four people and we'll have you talk to me next week i've gone out and tried to be with other guys in

this town and they're just not it like i don't i don't know how to put the men in gnome into a category but they're trash yeah they're trash and i don't i would love to live here the rest of my life But I don't want to subject some man to move here to the middle of nowhere Well, you're putting a car. How far is the next city over or village? Only one village that you can drive to from here and that's an hour and a half away and it's called teller So native and very rural. Yeah yeah we need to do our dating thing with her find her somebody you're gonna have so many dudes in la willing to fly to anchorage and drive seven hours to the middle of antarctica for you oh man this girl's looking for love in alaska come on guys yeah come on guys best guys out there who she'll be don't be a punk though you

want her to be your Jada Pinkett? Let's go. Oh, no. Not that. Oh, I don't know. I thought they loved each other. Yeah, me too. I don't know if it's in the budget, but I really think if we do a round-trip ticket to Alaska.

For somebody? Or all of us? All of us, yeah. The whole crew's going to go. We go watch their date. I don't know if it's in the budget, but let's all fly to Alaska and just talk to her. Hey, Nick, just put yourself in the video. Get late on your own time.

That'd be hilarious. It's Nick. We used a room during the podcast. It's weird, man. We didn't get any participants. It's just me. I'm going to fly out there. He comes out with two black eyes.

All right. Well, that was a great episode. Do we have anything? We a great episode. All right. Do we have anything? We're not done. We do. Do you guys want a submission of something we've kind of talked about before or a random video off the internet?

You pick, man. All right. Random video off the internet. What is this? That's all you need. This is from one of my new favorite accounts, WTF Portland. Okay. What are you going to say no to?

That's all I need? Mm-hmm. You sure that's what you need? You need $18 to cut your power back on? Mm-hmm. Be honest. Be honest. You going to say no if I say yes?

No, no, no. What you want it for, really? you wanted for really that hard stuff that horse you don't need to though I love it woman you don't need that stuff don't need to go buy nothing but something to eat okay okay all right that's $20 don't It makes me feel so f***ing fantastic and so warning. It makes me want a thing in my mouth. I'd be like put it in my mouth. I'm f***ing mad. Can I use your phone?

No you're not. Can I use your phone? I'm behind on my light bill, too. $17. Okay. Put it in my mouth. I'm sorry, but I don't know what's sadder. This or Will and Jada.

Probably this. This is a cuter couple. She seems cooler than Jada. Yeah.. This is a cuter couple. She seems cooler than Jada. Yeah. Put it in her mouth. Put it in her mouth. Motherfucking mouth.

You know what, I can yell it. You know what's crazy? You don't know who did it. This is what I don't appreciate. We can't just watch this video. You watch the video, we're laughing

while we're laughing. Whatever your reasons for laughing at it. Brier teeth, yeah. Whatever, right? Then you gotta go to the comments. You're going down to the comments, and then it becomes like a fucking roast.

Or it's like, I can't believe that this is you, blah, blah, blah. She's the one with the knees. It's like, can we just laugh at shit again? Yeah, but it's sad, though. It is sad. She needs to get help. That's Portland for you. Hell Michaels has never had a vegetable.

Who? Come on. That you have never knowingly eaten a vegetable in your life. That is true. That is true. I was born when my parents were 18, and my mother hadn't even read Dr. Spock at that point. So she just let me have the run of the course.

And I always pushed the vegetables away. To this day, no. And I guess what I've proven, Chris, is that man does not need vegetables to survive. But is it just possible that you would like, I'm thinking of one of the more non-objectionable vegetables, a carrot. Oh, please.

A carrot? This is great journalism. No, that's an objectionable vegetable. A carrot. Oh, please. Please. A carrot? This is great journalism. That's an objectionable vegetable. I mean, I would... Really? I mean, how would you know? You've never tasted it. I look at it.

I just don't even like the look of it. And I surmise what it might taste like. What an idiot. Dude, what an idiot. I look at a carrot and I imagine what it tastes like and I don't like that. There isn't a dumber thing to say.

But it's weird this was trending. It was like, Al Michaels never touched a vegetable. It's like, okay. Let's check the comments. I mean, you definitely don't need vegetables, I guess, dude. I mean, you'd probably die soon, but. I don't eat a ton of veggies myself. Yeah, okay.

Do you? I mean, not a ton, but I eat them. Yeah. One of those guys that go to a restaurant or a salad. Like, no, no, no. But I'll eat the side of, you know, vegetables that come with it. You have to get a steak. Yeah.

Sure. So then, you know, vegetables suck, man. How do you not? How do you not? So when you go to a steakhouse, he just gets a steak and that's it. That's what I do. Yeah. And potatoes.

Oh, is that a vegetable? I just get steak. Wait, is that a vegetable he just gets a steak and that's it? That's what I do. Yeah, and potatoes. Oh, is that a vegetable? I just get steak. Wait, is that a vegetable? Come on. He's not had potatoes? That's what I'm saying. I don't believe it. That's crazy.

He's got fries. As the kids say, he's capping. That's crazy. Cap. Cap. Cap. Yeah, you get a steak. You get like, you know.

Yeah, dude. You even get some like, you know, you get like, I don't know. I didn't really start enjoying vegetables until I got older. Like broccoli. Like broccoli was one of those ones when you were a kid. You just saw it on a plate and you were like, get that. I mean, I'll tell you right now. Tiny trees.

But now I'm all about broccoli. When I'm eating. Broccoli make me fart. When I'm eating vegetables. When I'm eating vegetables. Well, broccoli smells like farts. Oh, when I eat broccoli, dude, I get gas. All right.

Well, look. Stay away from broccoli. When I'm eating vegetables, I'm not enjoying it that much, dude. Vegetables are not that good. Really, even no matter how they're made. They're really not that good. Asparagus? Thanksgiving dinner?

You don't like none of the Thanksgiving dinner vegetables? No, no, no, no. I mean, everything else is better. What? It's by far the worst thing. Stuffing, the turkey with the gravy. It's all better. Yeah.

Mashed potatoes. Cranberry sauce is made from a fruit, so that's off his list. Well, but yeah. No, he said vegetables, not fruit. He said just vegetables. He said fruit. Spinach is like okay. It's all okay. Sauteed spinach with some garlic butter.

Thank you. It's okay. Some olive oil. It's not bad. It's not bad. And I eat it. To his point, it's the worst thing on the plate. Yeah, it's always the worst.

The vegetables are always the worst thing on the plate. Do you have a steak, mashed potatoes, and then veggies? The veggies are by far last place. Always the worst thing on the plate. Always. And again, broccoli made me fart, dude. That's not really... Do you like corn?

I don't. I don't like corn. I will deep-toe the shit out of a corn on the... Well, I don't like corn. Put it in my mouth. Some cream corn is good, like with some jalapeno. That's not really...

I mean, you know what I mean? Might as well have a dessert. It's like, you know. You like sweet potatoes? Sweet potatoes is the one that's good, but still, still. It's the worst. It's the worst thing on the plate. That's a good take.

But sweet potatoes. That's a good take. I like this take. I like this take. It's a quality take. My take, you know, Brad Pitt's a bad actor. He doesn't know how to suspend his disbelief. I wouldn't say Brad Pitt's a bad actor. He doesn't know how to suspend his disbelief. I wouldn't say Brad Pitt's a bad actor.

Oh, this is Tommy Fury putting corn and what else is on there? Fries? Onions and mushrooms. What's he doing? That's that English shit, man. Dude, what do you see? Evidently, they do it a lot there. Yeah.

Corn on pizza. Really? Yeah. Wow. My mom's from England. She don't fuck with that. She's the only cheese. Usually, in England, it's only cheese. My mom's from England. She don't fuck with that. She's the only cheese. Usually in England, it's only cheese.

We went there, Chin. We didn't see any of this bullshit. Your mom's from England? Only cheese. I've never heard this before. Hello, Brendan. It's nice to meet you. We're going to name you Brendan.

Yep. What? Are you going to grow up being a fucking fighter or what? If his mom talked like that, my God, that would be frightening. Oh, my. Ah, you grow up being a fighter, then you have a podcast, then you do stand-up comedy. Good morning, son. Good morning.

You sound like somebody. From the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Yeah, that's it. Hello, meet Brendan Sharp. Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous. I'm Robin Leach, Brendan's mom. If your mom was Robin Leach, imagine the whole time his mom was Robin Leach.

What happened to him, man? He just talked about other people's fancy shit. He died. He was old then. He just talked about other people's expensive shit. He didn't eat a vegetable. And then when other things came out, then cribs came out, and that was the end of that. He's all fucked.

How funny is that? He was just the guy who did that? But back then, there was three networks. And everybody wanted to see what rich people were doing. He was Cribs before Cribs. Robin Leach, bro. I'm Robin Leach. And this is the lifestyle of the rich and famous.

I remember this. How funny, bro. Some of the shit on there was nuts. I like that question. How did Robin Leach make his money? That's what I want to know. By talking about other people's money. He has a tiger.

It would always be like crazy fucking lavish stuff, right? Yeah. I always remember like yachts. Yep. $500 million. But even on Cribs and those kinds of shows, they always show the people that are right under the real rich people. Like they'll show some rich people. Like J-Lo did not up for it she could it was like it was like red man i don't i don't

mean like j-lo i'm talking about they're rarely you're rarely gonna see like warren buffett yeah yeah the real billionaires like you want cameras weird yeah they're like nah you can't see but it came out though that uh crib like most of the cribs was fake not their house except for red mans they're like hey we have this house here and well he was like now you can come to my apartment yeah him and the other dude from um what's the guy that's the man no from american pie stifler his his one yeah so his was funny too oh really he had a roommate. It was funny. Written famous. Kevin sent this.

A teacher showed their fourth grade class the Winnie the Pooh Blood and Honey movie. What? Students who express concern. What the fuck teacher would do this? Because you saw Winnie the Pooh and you're lazy. You're just like, all right, chill. You know what I mean? You're just like, yeah, let's get Winnie the Pooh. And then you're in your back grading papers and all you hear in the front of

you hear you look up and go what the hell is this right right right fourth graders it's also weird what scares kids that maybe that the teacher was like these kids are mature you think they are like my kids want to watch the new haunted mansion on disney i'm like yeah it's fucking disney you hit it i'm like oh no no no no it's called it's, it's fucking Disney. You hit it? I'm like, ooh, no, no, no. It's called Blood and Honey. And the guy's like, yeah, play it. It's just an oversight. He saw Winnie the Pooh and was like, alright. He didn't stop the movie even though

kids were saying, hey, stop the movie. They said, we don't want to watch this. Okay, but this guy's an idiot. It could have been a bad movie, too. Like, hey, we don't want to watch this okay but this guy's the idiot yeah it could have been a bad movie too like you don't want to watch this like shut up were you guys ever shown a movie way too young oh yeah yes yeah well bro i i mean i was i didn't like any of that shit i would freddy and all that stuff it was i was too young i was obsessed with freddy and I watched Tales from the Crypt when I was like six. I have two times that I had this experience. So I'm being babysat by the neighbors. I'm really young, eight, nine, whatever it was,

and we went to go see The Omen. That's not good. It's also boring for an eight-year-old. A lot of dialogue. No, no, no. I mean, you know. No, no, but there. Not enough Avengers in it. There was too much freaking death

in this. And then another time I went... I was like 12-ish, whatever, and I went to go see a double feature of The Fog and Phantasm. I don't even know what Phantasm is.

It's just a multiple. Yeahasm is. There's multiple. Yeah. Yeah, man. He's like, man, I saw Gone to Win in the theater. Silent film, but scary as hell. Phantasm was some scary shit. You could hear a pin drop. No, no.

Phantasm had this ball was flying through the air and killing. And it was so gory. I remember that one. The one that scared me as a kid was Hellraiser. Remember how he killed that lady? She had big tits. It was a lot when I was a kid. I might have jacked off still, but it was a lot.

Hellraiser was a lot as a young man. Remember Elvira? That probably was my first time. Dude, I just saw her still banging. Was that scary, though? Or was that more of a pulpy kind of... I don't remember. I don't know what it was.

She wasn't that scary. She was just like – Massive white tits. She would just be like before a funny movie would come on, she would talk before a movie. Oh, okay. Tits, though, for days. What'd she look like now?

She was just on the Halloween bake-off, just with them tits out. I watch Halloween bake-off all the time. I can't get enough of it. Bro, you're being real funny right now, man. She was on Halloween bake-out with the tits out? Yo, dude. My son was like, who is that? I'll hit images.

That's the tit of Halloween, baby. Oh, she's still like that? Yeah, just tits. She's like 60 there. Maybe 70. Yeah. Brandon's going to leave his wife for her. She's very active.

Well, this is how you keep going. Yeah. That's why, like Willith said to her she was like my social media yeah my presence look at her still look tits well she probably does a lot of like this is probably the greatest time of year trick her tits yeah she's killed dude she's dope wow but she might have even been old back then but what was she known for besides just being goth basically no she would be like there, there was like a movie would come on, and she would be like the host of the movie, you know?

And like throughout the movie, when they go to commercial, they would go to her. Ooh, let's see what happens next on, you know? It was like the Elvira, whatever the show was. What the fuck? That's what she looks like now? She's 72? No, that's got to be old.

That's 12 years ago. So she was 60 then. She's 72? No, that's 12 years ago. So she was 60 then. That's crazy. Her middle name's Gay. She's 72 now. It's immature. I know it's immature. Especially if you say it like that.

So Brendan would be like, welcome Cassandra Gay. Wow. She was in Groundlings. Well, she got her talent somewhere. Yeah, it's crazy how this- Oh, I gotta go to the bathroom big time. You got she got her talent somewhere. It's crazy how this... Oh, I got to go to the bathroom big time. You got to shit? We're good.

We are? G-Broccoli? G-Broccoli? Dude, I'll be in Pittsburgh tonight. I'll be in Pittsburgh tonight, dude. And Detroit and Cleveland and Long Beach. I'll be there November 2nd. Oh, how's Covina?

Great club, right? Little theater? Dania Improv. It's haunted. Tomorrow. Fort Dalladale area. Dania Improv. Come's haunted. Tomorrow. Fort Dollardale area. Dania Improv. Come check me out.

Chris about this shit is tight, too. Friday, Saturday only. Friday, Saturday. Dania Improv. And I will be in Buffalo, New York, Niagara Falls, New York, Seneca Casino, November 4th and 5th. One show Friday, one show Saturday. Those shows are damn near sold out, so get your tickets.

Buffalo, come on out. 3rd and 4th. That's a Friday, Saturday. shows are damn near sold out so get your tickets buffalo come on out third and fourth that's a friday saturday but uh this saturday fight companion joe rogan eddie bravo brian con myself for ufc 294 it is going down on jre youtube live and then it will the whole episode be uploaded to spotify all right so that's jre fight companion not thick boy that's jre fight campaign saturday for ufc 294 i think it starts at 1 p.m uh central time so get you some all right all right kids uh niagara falls see you november 4th and 5th

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