The Golden Hour - The Half Black Sheep | The Golden Hour #46 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin, Chris D'Elia & Harland Williams

Episode Date: September 15, 2023

Harland Williams joins Brendan, Erik and Chris! The guys discover Harland's brother Steve created the T-Rex from Jurassic Park and talk Harland's life changing trips in his RV to Burning Man, Chris' trip to Nashville, Harland's hilarious writer strike story, the hot girl from Home Depot, visiting tourist attractions around the world, whether they'd eat placentas or not and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://Patreon.com/TheGoldenHourPodcast

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour

It's the Golden Hour Mr. Harlan Williams, how you doing, brother? Groovy, baby. How are you? You look refreshed. How was Burning Man? You look tan. You were in Burning Man. I was in Burning Man. You were? Yeah.

He goes every year. It's like this thing. For was in Burning Man. You were? Yeah. He goes every year. It's like his thing. For how many years? Six times, Rosh. Six times. But this one was worse. What? This one, there's like storms, Diplo had to save you guys.

This one on like the Friday. I got there Tuesday. Oh, wow. And then so it's Tuesday, Wednesday, and then is it Thursday after that? Yeah. You tell us. And then Friday it started to rain. That was in Palm Springs.

Oh, is this off my Instagram? Yeah. Yeah. So they just make that and then put it there? They put like, they're called art installations, and they put like 1,000 of them all over the desert. And you just drive to them. And at night, they light them up.

And it's beautiful. And then what? If you're on drugs, I'm sure that looks freaky. Well, it never ends. There's so many. It's like a never-ending art show. And where do you stay? You rent an RV.

Oh, no. See? Come on, man. Yeah. You got like a $40,000 RV. You got a microwave, bro-se Oh, no. You got a microwave, brocephiosh. You got a bed. You got a shower, brocephiosh.

No, you don't. Brocephiosh, talk to me. Look at me. You don't really have a shower. You got a shower. You kind of have a shower. I got a cheese shredder, bro. I got everything.

Did you rent it? Yeah, I rented it. Yeah. And there's no currency. What? There's no money. You can't ask, right? You gotta pay with back rubs and shit. Well, that's kind of the vibe of it there.

You can't buy anything there. But you go shopping before you leave. I was about to say. So you usually have everything you need. This is not camping. This is not camping. No, no. This is rich guys taking a break from being rich for a second, but not really

because you got a cheese grater. Yeah, an RV, AC. And an RV and a microwave. It's not necessarily rich guys. It's just all kinds. It's not? Don't be modest. Yeah, yeah.

You've done well for yourself. No, no. I stowed away and Elon Musk. Didn't they have to airlift Chris Rock out of there? No, he found a ride. Some guy was going out on a pickup truck, and I heard that they paid him like $1,000 to get him out of there or something. Imagine you're that guy.

This here, even this line is a nightmare for me. Yeah, I was in that. It's terrible. And what did you do you just bunker down and eat some cheese sandwiches no so what i did is i parked my camper van right on the very perimeter yeah right by the exit road that's smart so when all the crap went down and they said you can't get out for two days i drove right to the exit road i got out in 20 minutes. You go, I can. Yeah, so you did it.

I got out faster than I've ever got out because everyone else stayed. Wow. But they lied about locking the gates and the exit door because I just drove over to wait until they opened it. But when I got there, it was like that. It was open. And why would they say it was locked? I don't know. I think it was just to prevent people. Because that mud when you drive in that mud it just makes

it deeper and you really do live there you have to stay with yeah then you're really stuck so i was like the night before i was like oh i'm gonna i'm right by the exit road i'm just gonna creep over there in the morning and i was out in 20 minutes. Now, there's a Mad Max vibe, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's great. Maybe.

I don't know, man. You'd love it. It feels like it's not for me. How many people go a year? 80,000. Yeah. That's crazy. Oh, look at the port-a-potty.

But here's the deal, bro, Chef V.A. You can be around 10,000 people and three minutes later on your electric bike and be standing with six people around that horse. I like that. You do like that. Now if you're going to fly to it. I don't want you to say that after I say that. But let me tell you something. So here's how I went to Burning Man.

I was shooting a sitcom. This is six years ago. This was because they closed it down for two. Right, COVID, yeah. It's pretty amazing because this girl i was working with on the sitcom we came back for our second season and she had just been a burning man and she's standing on the soundstage she's glowing okay she's like oh my god it was so good it was so great there's 20 people cast and crew standing around her every one of them did exactly what you three guys oh no yeah yeah yeah and i sat there and i went here's this girl radiating and everyone here is so pessimistic and so negative and i went you know what i'm gonna go

just because of that i like that okay that's and i went interesting. And I went, and it's one of the most amazing things. I've been all over the world, and it's amazing. Schultz says the same thing, too. He said life-changing. It's so great. You've got to go. It's so cool. I'm not against being there.

I just don't. What if I need to get out? You can leave if you want to leave. You can leave whenever you want. And if you leave early, there's no line. Right, right, right. The reason there's a line there is because no one wants to leave. It's so fun.

And so when it's time to leave, everyone has to go at once. Where do you fly into? If I don't want to make it even. It's two hours northeast of Reno. Oh, okay. So you could go to Reno and drive in. I drive from L.A. with my RV. Or for the more kind of wealthy people like you

they actually have a landing strip in the desert right there i have two years ago i flew in just to try it yeah i landed i was at my trailer my buddy pulled a trailer up for him i was in my trailer 10 minutes later you're going to pj is that what happened? You just PJ'd right in there? What do you mean? I'm wearing my pajamas? Yeah. It was on a Delta 747. Yeah, but what was one of those? It was on that horse. A propeller?

I flew in on that horse. That's my ride. Wow. Okay. So, all right. Okay. Yeah, it's in the middle of nowhere. And that's part of the fun because it's not just the festival.

You're also dealing with nature. It's a dry lake bed, okay? It's the second largest, flattest place on planet Earth, apparently. Oh, wow. And it used to be a 500-foot deep lake. So it's just this flat, barren expanse. Why did they make this start? Out of all that, why were they like, let's go to this empty lake?

Because I think that the spirit of it, the nature, the openness, Burning Man's sort of all about releasing all your baggage. That's why it's Burning Man. And they burn the stuff

at the end or something? They burn a man. So there's two burns. The Saturday... Back to that, Nick. Oh. He's got the origin right here.

Yeah, Saturday night, the second last night, they burn the man, which is a giant wooden statue. Now, some guy actually ran into the burning man and set himself on fire. Of course. Was that last year? It was three years, four years ago, and he did it right in front of me.

No. Yeah. He died? 80,000 people, and he did it right in front of me. Dead. Yeah, it was crazy. No crazy no baggage no just he was full send yeah it was you saw it it was right in front of me i mean that's traumatizing it was traumatizing it would be for me i grabbed everyone in our group and holy shit yeah right in front of

me they just watched them he jumped in he ran he ran. He literally went like this and dove in. He put his hands together. It's crazy. And these courageous guys risking their lives. Must be so hot. And pulled his smoking body out. Oh, fuck. There he is right there.

That's him. That's the guy. Do we know why he did it we don't know he was with he was like 50 with 15 of his friends he's a family man kind of the foreground of the photo what with his mario shirt how are you so harlan um yeah it was it was traumatizing and did his family or friends say anything like yeah, yeah, he was crazy, man. He didn't have family and friends. He did. He had a wife and kids. And he was there with 10 friends.

They watched him do it. He might have been on some mind-altering drug. It's possible. There's a lot of drugs here, right? There's got to be. Yeah. All the drugs. But there's also, like, one year I went up and I drove two sober people with me.

There's whatever you want. You could be a Mormon. You could be an artist. There's whatever you want. You could be a Mormon. You could be an artist. It's whatever you want it to be. Damn. It's very beautiful. I wonder how many people go that. I wonder what the percentage is that's white.

Some white shit. It's a pretty white thing. You know what? I'll be honest. There's not a lot of African-American people there. I don't know why. You don't know why? No. You do what?

You can't imagine them saying that? Eric gets it. You're half black. Are you half black? Eric's torn. He wants to go, but he can't. The black in you says, what about this? This sounds stupid. Out in the desert? What are we doing out in the desert?

That's the thing. But then when you go, you're like, whoa. But here's the thing. This isn't like you going camping. What I hear is, what I see is people got generators and solar panels and fancy campers. It is interesting, though. It is interesting. There's got to be some sort of positivity about it. But what's that got to do with the end result?

What's that got? Who cares if they had a tank or a submarine or an elephant there? I'm talking about what you're going to experience. If they have that stuff there, this is my point. It's some rich shit. If you bring an elephant out to the desert. What if it's rich or poor? What do you care?

You're thinking about all the optics instead of what it can do for you spiritually and what it can do for you. Are you changed every single time? So when you go, tell me how you, when you drive up in your fancy camper with your cheese grater, how are you feeling? Oh, I got to turn around. I forgot the cheese grater. Yeah. How are you feeling?

Like you had your checklist before you go. You're like, you're like cheese grater. Shower. Shower. Make sure to shower. Get enough water. Perrier. Wine.

You know, white bitches. Whatever you have that. Make sure to shower. Get enough water. Perrier. Wine. You know, white bitches. Whatever you have that you're going to go. And then when you get there, what does? What happens? So just before I answer that, let's say I went camping in Yosemite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, now I got a trailer, a cheese grate. What does it matter where I am or what I take?

Yeah, I agree with that. It's pessimism is what knows people. No, no, but that's what I'm saying. What happens... Okay. No, I'm in, Hart. You didn't go to Yellowstone. What I'm saying is what happens there that makes it different than, say, going to Yellowstone?

Why don't you go to Yellowstone? Here's one of the issues with Burning Man. It's so eclectic and eccentric. It's hard to explain. It is, right. But I explain it like this. Did you ever watch the first rendition of Star Trek

where they get in the transporter beam and beat to another planet? They'd land and they'd be like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. No black people there either, but go on. I'm not kidding. It's like landing on another planet there. And mostly at night when all the colors and the...

You can't even explain it. That's why you gotta go. I'm sold. So you don't go, it's not like it's, oh, it's, we're in nature.

It's like, what the fuck is going on? This is wild. It's just wild. This is fifth element shit. Then you mix in a little drugs? Well, it's a thing that you won't,

like, look at that. Look at that. You won't see that anywhere else on the planet will you attend something that, of that that. Look at that. You won't see that anywhere else on the planet will you attend something of that experience. So it's just, you know, it's like we were rolling around on our bikes in the dark like that, and we looked up, and all of a sudden there was a light in the sky.

And we go, what the hell is that? And all of a sudden, three more lights, five more lights, 300 lights, and all of a sudden, there's a gigantic 600-foot blue whale swimming through the sky with synchronized drones. Who's making this shit? They spend millions. But who and why? The production.

There's tickets? You don't buy tickets? You buy tickets? You buy tickets, yeah. Okay, all right. How much is a ticket? I mean, there's probably different levels. You buy tickets? You buy tickets, yeah. Okay, all right. How much is a ticket? A ticket is a – I mean, there's probably different levels.

A general ticket is about $600. Oh. But that's a – But you're there fucking nine weeks. Eight-day, nine-day festival, yeah. Wait, so what's the – Is there like a special area at Burning Man? Oh, yeah.

No, no. So it's just $600 for everyone? No, you can – No, no, no. If you want – That's my point. What's that? You can buy a guaranteed ticket for like $1,500.

And what do you get for that? You just get a ticket. Tickets are hard to get. They're not easy to get. They sell out. Yeah, people love this thing. No food or water, though. I'm going to go with you next time.

You got to go, man. You got to go. It's so weirdly interesting to me. That's why you got to do it. I was the same way. All I'd ever heard was negative. Every time you ever bring up people, roll their eyes, they're negative. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's why I went. I went, you know what? Life is short. This girl is beaming, and everyone around her is completely negative. So I'm going to go. And she was right. It was great. This is where my mind goes.

Is there like a lot of people? Is it people are fucking or people meeting and fucking and stuff? There's an orgy tent. There's a tent you can there's an actual orgy.

Okay. The black in him is working out. There we go. This is how we do it. Tell me about the orgy tent. How was it? How was it?

He was right there. He saw a guy run in and just died. The same guy. When you dive in. Yeah. Let's just say my cheese grater didn't go in the orgy tent. But, no, it was good.

People are smashing, like, who brought the cheese grater? Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. It was really good until Chris Rock grabbed me. No, but I haven't been in the orgy tent. That's not my thing. You can't go in alone. You have to bring a partner. You and Chris Rock.

In the age of COVID, I don't want to be rolling around in human sweat. Also, it's not my vibe. Imagine you're in the orgy tent. Yeah. And in walks Harlan Wood. Hey, what the fuck? Is that the guy from? No, I'm just saying. Now, that's a Burning Man experience yeah everyone else would be saying that yo people someone else would be like man you're gonna Burning Man well

let me tell you what happens it depends though when you're there because if you're there the night before and Diplo walks in, you're like, oh, wow. You think that there's hot people in there? There's what? Sexy people in there? Yeah, there is. Oh, everybody goes just for that. The people who go to Burning Man, the girls are stunning. Not all of them, but there's a ton of models. Because also it's hot there, so they're not wearing much, right?

Yeah. It gives them an excuse. It's like Halloween. It's like Halloween, yeah. If you're a model, yeah, you're going to go there because there's a lot of rich people there. And hot chicks love to do drugs. It's like I said, drugs is an element, but where isn't drugs an element? No, no, no, I know.

And you can do it or not do it. It's up to you. Is there security? There is security. There's a lot of undercover cops. They're looking for people. Mostly, I talked to the cops one year, and they said they're mostly looking for the guys. When they open their trunk, it's all guys dealing and selling.

And they basically said one of their big jobs is if an altercation breaks out, they'll break it up. So this orgy dome, I guess it's completely legal, right? Yeah, it's legal. As long as it's covered, I guess. Now, when you say you've get to walk in with somebody else, so if me and Chris walked in and they let us in, if we're a gay couple and then we get to like psych? I don't know.

I've never done it, but it- Hold on a second. You've never walked by the Orgy Tent? I've never even seen it. I've never even seen it, to be honest. You know he's not lying. You believe it. That's not my interest.

I like the art. I like the nature. I like the lights. I like the nature. I like the lights. It's insane. Does the Orgy tent have is it in a good location? I don't know. That's for me. 80,000 people there.

How many people do you think are in an Orgy? 55? At once? That's a big one. I don't know how many they let in. I don't know where it is but it's there. There it can't be a ticket for that. It's got to be free. Or you've got to give them a cheese grater. You can't buy anything there.

What was that? You've got to trade in your cheese grater to get in. He brings a cheese plate to the orgy. I feel like our Burning Man experience can be a little different. As soon as we walk in, I'm like, Harlow, see you later. I'm going to seek out that orgy you would i just go yeah i just wonder how many in face paint yeah i just wonder how many i wonder

how many uh days i could last there two because i would need to wash correctly i'm just about to say i give this guy an hour hour Hour tops. The pessimism. In the car, though. He'd be like, the negativity. See, if we promoted this, we'd be on board. I'm not trying to get people there, but I find it fascinating. You guys aren't the only ones. It's anyone I ever bring it up to.

It's the same kind of adverse reaction to it. But then you meet somebody that went, though. I don't like camping. Yeah. I don't care about that. But then you meet somebody that went, and they not i don't like camping yeah yeah but then you meet somebody but then you meet somebody that went and they're like oh like it's probably a connection yeah i've never had a bad time i don't know anybody who's been who's had a bad time yeah that's why i'm here look at here and by the way you could have a bad time i'm not saying it's guaranteed but but man i've you know yeah look up uh burning man horror stories yeah there's

probably some people who hate it. This person said, I've only been twice, and I'd say it's mostly people having sex with their significant other or group sex by people who already came in together. So it'd be me and you fucking in a car. On the individual mattress the camp provides. That doesn't sound fun. We don't need to drive to Reno.

That just sounds nasty, that sentence. Sex with people who already came in together on the individual mattress the camp provided. Yeah, but you know what? I need to see a picture of her. I don't. You know?

Spread limited access. Yeah. And the girls, some girls told me this year they have a booth where you can go and they'll, it was just for the women. I don't know why they don't have it, but they'll give, they have one of those things you buff the car with, and they'll give women an orgasm. Oh. But nothing for the guys? Not that I

heard of. I've heard there's glory holes. I bet are lit. Or just like, you know, penetration. I mean, a lot of gay guys, too. Don't just think about. Glory hole. Oh, you're on the other side of it. You're on the middle of the desert. You got to find a hole. The whole thing's a hole. Yeah, it's like a 500 foot hole. You you don't need a wall you're just carrying around a

wall with you here's the glory hole you just got like a like a halloween costume you just walk and your dick is just out i do not want to go to home depot with you after seeing you i was in Home Depot the other day. There's way too many people that work at Home Depot at once. When's the last time

you've been to Home Depot? In it. I go quite a bit. I can't believe how many people work at Home Depot. And they don't know anything about Home Depot.

The joke that Sebastian does where he's like, what's the difference between these two? And the guy goes, um, and Sebastian says, he's going to make it up. That's exactly what it is. That's like what's the difference between these two and the guy goes um and and sebastian says he's gonna make it up that's exactly what it is that's exactly what it is let me get the guy and then the guy comes and he doesn't know yeah i think they say let me get the

guy and then they leave and don't do anything yeah did you see that just awaiting that hot girl at uh home depot and shaq's living in her dm oh wait i saw that i saw a picture she's like super attractive yeah she's we got home Depot. I don't know how she got famous. From complaining or something? But I think she had to quit. She had to quit because she got so popular and people were showing up to her Home Depot. She had to quit. The best thing

about Home Depot though are the lines. Because it's the only place in the world where you can line up for the length of a football field and on your card have a toilet, a palm tree, a beam for a barn, and a fucking refrigerator. And people say, where are you going? You're like, Burning Man.

There you go. And some gummy worms, too. They sell everything. But when you leave, they have the pizza and churro. It's a good deal. A slice of pizza or a hot dog. It's like $4. Don't let the people bother you.

Thank you, Shaq. Don't read the comments and stuff like that with Drevick because you have a great day. Tell your boyfriends I said hello. She was just some hot girl who worked at Home Depot. I want to hear about the lines. Go down. Hi.

Well, thank you. That's it? Yeah. Well, who's the – But I forget how she got famous. Why is this? From working at Home Depot. Oh.

Well, probably just because she's that hot working at home depot now is she in the bathroom or is she at one of the displays yeah oh that's a good point i mean this is a shower in your rv yeah thanks um i've been with you though i like to shit on those toilets you what the display toilets you could probably shit on them and then they you could probably get away with it without getting arrested just shit on the toilets and just be like i genuinely didn't know yeah well now you see you got these shoplifter guys running oh dude stuff so you probably should crap in the toilet yeah we could yeah that shit dude when i see guys running out with like one bag or like two bags it's like they're being lazy about it.

Get the shit. I guess because you can't rob more than $1,000, huh? That's the thing. Yeah. Wow. Well, I saw. Didn't you see that one of the ladies like throwing like she's got a cart full of meat, and she's just throwing meat in the back, and the lady's there like,

Stop it. Stop it. Yeah, yeah. They can't do anything. She's just throwing meat. Like fillets? Dude, no. Fill it. Stop it. Yeah, yeah. They can't do anything. She just throwing meat. Like fillets? Dude, no. Fillets.

Just everything. She went into Ralph's and packed her cart full of meat. And then she's just boom. And then there was another one in San Francisco. I think Arsenio Hall put this video up. There's a guy in San Francisco. He pulls up to a car. He looks in the car.

And then he crashes the back window, takes out a suitcase. But there's a guy that's right next to him. There's some guy that was walking this dog that was like, stop it! And the guy just ignored him completely, jumped in his car, and drove off. But it's like everyone's videoing. You've got your license plate. Even this dumb lady outside the supermarket, the lady's taping her, looking at her license plate. But they don't give a fuck, though.

If it's in California or New York, they have a looking at her life if it's in california new york they have a law where it's like it's loosey-goosey so they're back out in the street in an hour and they can't they're hungry dude well i get it well i mean someone she wanted someone's just bad people yeah true but yeah i get what you're saying yeah it's not it's not what they don't care anymore like it's why it's not like you go hey i got a videotape of the guy actually breaking in you can see his face and i got his leg they're like yeah so cops like let me see they're done they've defunded the police or like yeah they don't care anymore man it's california it's gotham city you guys want to move let's move

let's move where do you want to go no it, it's not in California. It's in Nevada. Let's do it. That means they need a Batman now. Yeah. They do need a Batman. See, this is where it happens. Yeah, I was in Austin, man. Even at night, it was hot.

Hot, hot. Austin is so hot. How hot is it? How hot is it? But why? Were we talking about that? No, I'm just saying you said, let's move. Oh, Austin.

And I was thinking most people move to Austin, but it's so fucking hot out there, man. I just went to Nashville. I just went to Nashville. I was in Nashville, and Nashville is... Human? It's Vegas now. It's crazy, dude.

Number one place for bachelorette parties. I was just going to tell you that. It surpassed Nashville. How do you know that? You know all weird shit, huh? man the he knows dude yeah you can literally hear bachelor parties in the distance when you're like in nashville yeah close to broadway it's just screams yeah but it's always like they're then they're on those that the pedal bikes the pedal bikes and it's just warlocks like whoo like he said yeah nashville's a it's it's vegas dude it's

crazy yeah it's changed it's it's Vegas, dude. It's crazy. Yeah, it's changed. It's really changed. But Nashville and Austin are the two spots that everyone's moving to. We should have got in there early, man. Got to make some real estate money, you know? Boise's the next one. Dude, I think you're right.

I think you're right. I've been saying that about Boise. And also, I think Tulsa's going to blow up. Omaha too. Scottsdale might get going. But also, Antonio, too. Let's stop saying cities. This is the geographic part of the show. Did he say Tulsa's going to blow up? He said that.

I went recently. I'm not saying Tulsa. It already did, guy. It did? Tulsa? Yeah. Remember in the 80s, that guy blew up that. Oh, yeah.

I do remember that. Let's show a little sense of tune. Is that too soon? Yeah, a bit too soons, that guy blew up that. Oh, yeah. I do remember that. Let's show a little sense of humor. Is that too soon? Yeah, a bit too soon. Is that too soon? The 80s? When he does that kind of stuff, you hit this. Oops.

Whoops. Speaking of violence, holy God, this writer's strike. Yeah. I got into it. They're getting edgy, these guys, right? Were you there? Well, here's what happened. I was driving over this morning, and I had to pick up my dad from work before I came over here.

And he's a janitor at Paramount Studios, right? Okay. So I'm driving over to pick him up, drop him off before I come out here. And I got to go through the picket line, all the riders, right? And so these guys are, you know, they're pretty aggressive. They got the signs, and they're yelling. And I'm like, hey, I got to go through the picket line, all the riders, right? And so these guys are, you know, they're pretty aggressive. They've got the signs, and they're yelling. And I'm like, hey, I've got to go through. And they recognize me.

They know I'm a rider too. I go, guys, I'm just picking up my old man. And they're like giving me the business, and I'm getting pissed, right? Yeah. So I go back home, and you know just before a shooter shoots a place up, he goes home and he – Yeah, I guess that makes sense, sure. And he packs his shit up and he goes back.

So I go back home. I get a fucking box. I pack it. I go back. I cross the fucking picket line, get out of my car, take out a chair, take out my case, open it yeah a 1974 samsonite typewriter right i put it out and these fucking writers are picketing i start writing a seinfeld fucking i'm just fucking i'm yelling it out loud i'm like fade in

kramer walks into the apartment. Oh, hi, Jerry. They must have got so mad. On the way home, I'm writing the sequel to Bridges Over Madison County. They must be going nuts. Assholes. You know, I was

thinking about this. The writer's strike, it's SAG strike. There's 160, I tweeted mean there's there's 160 I tweeted this because 160 thousand thousand SAG members I bet everyone is paying 50 to 75 dollars a month on streaming services. Oh, I saw you say that We just like that's a roughly about eight million dollars As a part of the Union we're spending eight million dollars a month to strike against the people like it like that would be the So they're not yet. So. Yeah, so they're not...

Yeah, interesting, dude. You know what I mean? Yeah, dude. That's a good point. It's so stupid. Hit them in their pockets, bro. Yeah. But they can't

because they got to watch the new season or whatever the fuck it is, right? Or how about this? These fucking cucks. They're like, what am I going to do? Let's kill them.

They're like, what am I going to do? I'm not working. I got to watch Netflix. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I think it's counterproductive. And it's not ending

anytime soon, right? It's not. No way. No, you know why? Because let's say you're Netflix. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I think it's counterproductive. And it's not ending anytime soon, right? It's not. No way. You know why? Because let's say you're Netflix and you're like, no new shows are coming out. You know what people in the middle of America are going to watch? Yeah, Netflix. Netflix.

Exactly. Turn on The Office again. Unless 25 million people go, yeah, you're not paying people right. We're going to quit. We're going to stop. Then that's the only thing that's going to stop it. Yeah. That's the only thing that's going to stop it.

They have to lose money. They're not losing money. They are not losing money at all. The content is terrible. They're stopped. Then that's the only thing that's going to stop it. That's the only thing that's going to stop it. They have to lose money. They're not losing money. They are not losing money at all. They're going to cave. SAG's going to cave. They're going to cave. Yeah, they're going to cave. They're going to get some incremental raise.

Dude, the guy said it. Who's the guy that said, well, we're just trying to... We judge by December that they won't be able to... They're going to have to sell their houses. Writers are going to have to sell their houses, so we're just going to wait until then. Somebody said that. Somebody high up. And then another guy was like, yeah, let them starve.

They know. If you're saying that shit publicly, then you know. You got shit in your back pocket. Didn't they cut the trees to make it the sun more brutal on them? So they can be in the shade? Well, the networks are different from the streaming service because the networks are

going to start losing money because their money is based off advertising. So they'll probably be like, hey, we got to make stuff. But the other ones. They're going to make worse shit. Well, no, it might be good because then the networks, if they open up and more people gravitate towards that and less streaming, so the better shows are in the networks. I guess. Maybe.

At the end of the day, can you can you look we're all writers right we're all actors writers at the end of the day can you stop ai i mean no could you have stopped the cell phone could you have stopped you can't computers so as much as we're writers and you know we're probably the generation that's gonna have to be the generation that gets rolled over and the new wave comes in I'm not saying I'm for it or against it

but it's like you just it's too big it already started it already started yeah apparently we're dinosaurs it's already been going on

and now it's just out there well look at the fucking trailer that they put up a trailer that was like all AI and it was like I was like oh

who the fuck is gonna give a shit about a chris pratt movie that where he unless he unless he's in something like this but like now they don't have to pay chris pratt 20 million dollars yeah to do this fucking movie i how because people there's that argument where people are like i still think people want to see people in things because it's a human experience how long though though is that going to last until people are like, all right, I was going to see a movie. Yeah, there's no longevity. What they're going to start to do is create computer-generated

stars like your Clint Eastwood, your Meryl Streep. And people, like if you look at places like Japan and sometimes even here, they're doing, filling arenas, doing concerts with holograms of dead artists like Tupac. And even in Japan, they're doing filling arenas, doing concerts with holograms of dead artists like Tupac. And even in

Japan, they're doing it with cartoon characters, the anime. What was that name again? It's Tupac. Let him have it, dude. Maybe he's talking about something else. This is a Tupac of what? Chocolate milk? I don't know.

Wait, what did I say? Did I say his name wrong? Tupac. But it's okay. Tupac? Honestly, dude, and I don't mean this in an age way, but he's old enough, it's okay, dude. It's okay. I let it slide. You're the cusp there. Yeah, I'm almost there.

If you're my age and below, are you saying Tupac? Isn't Tupac a little cooler than Tupac? Is Pac aupac a little cooler than Tupac? Is Pac a word? No, it's a name. It's a mark. Pac is Pac with an accent.

It's just an accent. Tupac. So I said it right. Yeah, probably. You said it American way. Tupac was a king or something way back when or some shit. And then they named him after that. But yeah, this is the thing, right?

This is actually our old editor, Joe Rubicaba. He's really good at AI shit, and he just made this little scene with AI. No people. Wait, those soldiers are AI? Yeah. Are you telling me that's not a real alien? And this is just a guy he knows.

What about the smoke and the effects is that AI? the whole thing that's what I'm saying and we're at the cusp of it it would be ridiculous if all the people are AI but then he actually went out to

some place and lit a real fire here we go well that's what they do with that stupid dinosaur show on National Geographic. They go out and they shoot real geographic locations. That's so stupid. And then they put in the CGI dinosaurs. It's good.

It better be. But isn't it weird how our perception of this is different? I remember in the 90s watching Jurassic Park for the first time and seeing that cgi dinosaur and being amazed by it you know my brother made that right tell us the story my brother steve made that dinosaur steve steve williams there's a documentary out on him now called jurassic punk oh and uh wait i know about this doc is that real that's real yeah i was lying i'm not sure i thought it was a bit yeah you know like we thought your dad was still alive there he is

there's steve yeah jurassic punk and that's your brother yeah that's my brother what yeah well yeah wow yeah jurassic punk he did spawn too well steve the story behind the T-Rex is Steve was one of the pioneers of creating CGI. He wasn't a guy that just used it. He helped create CGI. His first movie was The Abyss. The James Cameron did the water town. Oh, yeah. He did that?

So he did that. What was it like for you when he did that? Well, we went to animation college together. We were roommates and stuff. Yeah, yeah, I knew that about you. So anyways, Steve. I did. I did know he did.

He gets hired by ILM. Okay. And they're doing Jurassic Park. And Spielberg's already made like the animatronic dinosaurs. He's made life-size dinosaurs. And they're going to do the old Harryhausen, like remember the old Jason and the Argonauts and Sidbent, where the dinosaurs were like claymation? So Steve said, hey, I can build you a T-Rex in CGI. And they said, we don't know what that is.

No, go away. But he knew. So he went in, and on his own time yes i heard i saw this he built the skeleton yes of the t-rex and they showed him and they were like whoa well no what happened is they they didn't want to see it and so he knew they were having a meeting down in his office area all the big producers and so yes he did a walk cycle and he had it playing on a monitor during the meeting. And as they're having the meeting, one of the top executives goes, what's that? And he showed them.

They took it up to Spielberg, and he goes, stop everything. We're doing that. So your brother's the reason we're in this situation. Yeah, kind of. Oh, your brother created AI. Your brother's the reason why everyone's out of work right now. You should hear what he has to say about it now. Yeah, it's pretty interesting. Boy, to say about it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's pretty interesting. Boy, he's done it all. But when these kind of things happen, when you saw like the Lord of the Rings and they had like the big army scene and it was all CGI, we were like, oh, wow, this is great. And now it's time to go, wait, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, there's an evil component. Yes. And it's interesting because Steve sort of sounded the alarm on that almost right after he did Jurassic Park. Yeah.

You'd have to know. If you were that smart to be able to do it, you'd have to understand the power of it. Yeah, but, like, who wants to see that nonsense? Fuck, I sound smart. Nobody wants to see how it was before. Like, I'm telling you, when you finally saw this, when the CGI actually looked real, it improved.

There he is. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. There he is. Oh! See, that was the skeleton he did right back there. You can see it. They used the guy from Mythbusters too?

Yeah. No, they're buddies. So he's in the documentary talking about it but there he is that's where he worked he's killing it huh oh well yeah it's affected his life greatly like he's killing it but it also yeah yeah there's the tentacle that was the first thing he did that's wild dude oh it's a great documentary. Yeah, it's called Jurassic Punk. He created the liquid Terminator. Okay, I'm going to watch this. And the mask?

The mask, he directed all the animation. I don't know if they should have called it Jurassic Punk. It makes me think of the music, and I would have watched it if I had known that this is what it was about. Oh, it's fascinating. Yeah, you should watch it. Yeah. There's even some old footage of me and him in college where my hair is down.

Oh, God. Well, now I'm definitely watching it. Where we're in our apartment just being idiots. But it's very – check out that documentary. And in that documentary, you say, one day I'm going to go to Burning Man. You know what's crazy? Hey, can you go back to that? There he is.

That was when he was in college. That's Kathy Griffin, I think. Isn't it crazy when you want to look to find something to watch now, and you put something in like that? Look at all this. It's on everything. I'm just saying, this is how you find stuff now. It's not even like you go, oh, is it on Channel 2?

Remember when we used to do that? Is it on Channel 11? We sound old as fuck right now. Now you're just like ever TV Guide yeah it's crazy remember when I didn't get up and turn the channel by hand oh my god

I could never read TV Guide I never understood it I'd always have to be like dad come on can you just fucking tell me he's like figure it out I'm like I don't but you look at this

and you go okay why are you watching it on anything other than Tubi yeah yeah yeah like if you if you paid for it I guess but yeah I know but like you'd be like wait a minute I could havei. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you paid for it on... I know, but you'd be like,

wait a minute, I could have got this for free. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they're all of these crossover. All of these crossover. It's so weird. It's so fucking weird. What's this? It's just the TV Guy channel. Oh, yeah, dude. If you missed the one, you had to wait.

You wait for the cycle. Nightmare. You got to go make a sandwich. Why wouldn't it go faster? Why wouldn't it go faster? Because then you'd really miss it. Yeah, you can't go faster. Nah, dude.

What are we, fucking 95? You could read all the Nash Bridges Law and Order, Law and Order, Sports Reporters 2, Outside the Lines. That's because it's going so slow. Yeah, thank you. I'm saying if I could say it out loud, all of them because it's going so slow? Yeah, thank you. I'm saying if I can say it out loud, all of them, it's going too slow. And it's only a quarter of the screen, too. Nick, speed it up.

You can speed up the... Well, now you can. You couldn't then... No, no, but you can speed it up and you'll see how ridiculous it is. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. Crossfire, Headline News, News of Brian,

Kudlow Kramer, Notch... I'm still doing it. Fuck you, dude. I just don't know what Notch is. That's fucked up. is Nah I don't agree Yeah You missed one Go ahead

Go on Chris But I can still read it Go on Chris No you gotta go What's this two times as fast Four This is four times Yeah

Go on Chris Go on come on I would like it to be Three times as fast And then was it a big deal If you made the cover Of TV Guide Oh yeah

No problem That's like being on the cover of Madden. Yeah. I was on the cover of Teen Beat about, I think, 12 times. Wow. Yeah, me and David Cassidy. Oh, wow. Yeah, shirtless.

I was on shirtless. Wow, really? Really? How old were you? I think I was three months. I still had placenta. Yeah. I got the placenta cover. That's kind of weird. Oh, there it is, Tiger Beat. But I guess it was three months. I still had placenta. I got the placenta covered.

That's kind of weird. Oh, there it is, Tiger Beat. Tiger Beat. I remember those. Wow, all the hair, dude. Donny Osmond. Man, we're getting old, fellas. I know.

I don't know. It's fine. It's weird because people will be like, you're fucking old. And it's like, yeah, but i got there like people die first you know what i mean yeah like yeah i i people are like you're old like a 25 year old be like what do you know you're old you you suck it's like you might die though you're probably gonna get there for you you may not get there that That's not cool. Living is cool. Living is good. It's so good to live so long.

To be the oldest guy. That's the best. You don't want to be the oldest. I don't know. You see that woman that was like 105. Nightmare. It's just like, you know. I want to be old.

I want to get to be the oldest man, dude. I want to be so old that my friends die, and then my new friends that I had to make also died. Wow. And I lived through all of it. You're too big. And I'm just like. You want to be so old, you see a 75-year-old,

and you're like, what up, girl? My grandmother's 112, and she farts dust. Wow. She's had so many yeast infections, she pe pees donuts that was going to be my next question does she pee donuts this is good so she's what with sprinkles on them you weren't going for it i had to add something you know what i'm thinking of here hey man i'm the old guy on this show yeah are you yeah how old are you 51 i'm 61 i'm gonna be 61 this really damn you look good for yeah you do are you it's

that burning man lifestyle he's tan i was gonna say are you the oldest guy at burning man no but my he can't be my uncle's turning um 100 in uh in january my uncle bill. Jesus. He was in the Royal Canadian Air Force and he flew like 45 missions over Germany as a tail gunner. The guy that sits in the back and he lives. So going back to you, hey, I'm alive. How about this guy?

It's crazy. This guy's had a wildly successful career, right? But I'm hearing about his family. You're like the black sheep. No, I was going to say the same thing. I was going to say the same thing after Jurassic Park. I'm like, this family. You're like the black sheep. No, I was going to say the same thing. I was going to say the same thing after Jurassic Park. I'm like, this guy. You're like, oh, fucking Harlan. Yeah.

This is what your family's like. Well, if I'm the black sheep, you're the half black sheep. Oh, you had that one ready to go? Oh, man. I mean, what's the chance, though, two brothers making an entertainment? Well, okay. Especially in different areas. Steve's not chance, though, two brothers making an entertainment? Well, okay. Especially in different areas. Steve's not my biological brother, okay?

My dad and his dad knew each other in university. So when they found out, it turns out by some fluke we were both going to animation school. So they introduced us. We became roommates. And then everyone was like, Williams, Williams, are you guys brothers? We got so tired of telling the story. We just said, yeah, we're brothers. And then I kind of started making some progress in my world.

He started making – and then one day Steve did a big national newspaper interview and said my brother Harlan – and everyone picked up on it. And then everyone was phoning my parents going lorraine do you have another son yeah and so we just ran with it and so to this day me and him just call each other brothers yeah so that's pretty cool yeah but we're the same age almost exactly so you're twins we couldn't be brother and he has a giant chin and i have no chin well he got it all in the placenta. He took it all. I know.

Do you like placenta? Some people eat it. Well, you mentioned it, and it was fresh on my mind. But some people- I never had it. I have a buddy who just had a kid, and he said that they made like milk placenta milkshake. And I'm like, you couldn't just go get a Frosty at the drive-thru window? No, no.

You eat it before you work out. It's a vitamin? Green juice? It's good protein. Would you eat it? No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't, no. You have a kid, work out. It's vitamins, green juice. It's good protein. Would you eat it? No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't, no. You have a kid, right?

I have two kids. What'd you do with the placenta? I have it in my car, but I have... Can I get some for the ride home? I was going to get a Red Bull, but fuck. I can make a bowl for you. You will? Let's have a placenta party in your Prius.

The person who saved the placenta would have a Prius. You know who probably ate lots of that was Dahmer. He probably loved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably spoon fed. That was a delicacy. That's probably why he turned out. No, he probably wanted the baby.

It's been about two months. Fuck the placenta. Bring me the kid. He wanted the baby in a pot. It's been two months since we mentioned Dahmer, and it wasn't from me. For them, the placenta was just gravy to put on the baby. Appetizers. So, yeah, no, I –

What did you do with the placenta from your kids? I have memories, obviously, of my children being born, very vivid memories. I do not have any memory of the placenta. Were they shiny when they came out? They could have been. Did you watch them come out? No, my wife wanted me behind her shoulders. Did you watch them come out? No. My wife wanted me behind her shoulders.

I get it. I would too. Oh, you didn't want to watch? You see it. You peek a little bit. You see the head coming out and you go, ooh. I could never do that because when I was a kid, I played Whack-A-Mole. Remember that game?

I would just be like, psst. You don't bring your mallet. You should be okay. Huh? You don't bring your mallet. You should be okay. Well, I used my fist. Yeah, I got you. You're a gangster my fist. Yeah, yeah, I got you.

You're a gangster like that. That's right, Papa Smurf. Dude, so what? You didn't see any placenta? I have no memory of seeing it, but I'm sure I did. How do you not? You said like you blacked out.

Well, bro, it's a little, it's a little, I mean, you know, it's a little stressful, dude. He was like, my wife's pussy is ruined. You'll see, you'll see. No, no. The last thing I remember was like, my wife's pussy is ruined. You'll see.

You'll see. No, no. The last thing I remember is like, where's the placenta? That's when the Batmobile came out of it. But dude, wait a minute. So you're behind your wife's shoulders. And then the doctor lifts up the infant child. Is it glistening?

Like, do you see? Does it have placenta over it? So I have Calvin, who's three and a half, and then I have William, who is five months. William, I remember being very – they told me before Calvin came out, like, he's going to be purple. That's just kind of how they come out. I was like, oh, he's not really purple.

William was Thanos. Really? Yeah. Like a baboon's ass? So I was like, oh, that purple that purple like that's how my thought was when i saw william wow like he was gonna be like and the doctor i love that nerd reference wait is that thanos no that's william and then they slap him to get the blood flowing oh yeah you have kids too did you see placenta

no man did you watch it come out? The doctor ate it. No, it's the last thing on your mind, the placenta. There's so much going on that it's just... It's intense. William came out, and you could tell the doctors were like... He was not really crying. He was like... And so they were putting his fingers in his mouth, trying to get the stuff out and smacking him.

And you're just like, just please. I hope this works out. Stay alive. Oh, wow. It's just crazy. What about the umbilical cord? I cut that. You got to cut it, yeah. You did?

You cut it? First one I cut, second one I go. Really? What do you do with it? The umbilical cord? Yeah. I use it as, you know those chain wallets? Yeah.

Oh, that's hot. You could join a bike gang. Yeah. Wow, dude. Can you you use it can you make bacon with it or anything probably i'm i am sure you can make bacon with it go ahead nick um but yeah you can nick babies are weird and weird as fuck and we were all them and did it how quickly because i haven't had one how quickly does the, like from the time it's born, when's the first time it goes on for its first feed?

Right away. Immediately it sucks? Right away. Yep, you stop sucking your wife's tit because it's hot and your baby goes boop right there. Immediately. Immediately.

Wow. And it's important apparently like that they need that connection right away. And can girls with fake boobs do it? Oh yeah. They can? I know, I didn't know that. I didn't know that for a while. I thought fake boobs, you couldn't make milk. I thought it thwarted the process. No? Oh, yeah. They can? I know.

I didn't know that. I didn't know that for a while. I thought fake boobs, you couldn't make milk. I thought it thwarted the process. No, you can't. It's like Coke Zero. The fake boob is underneath the tissue of the boob.

They figured it all out, dude. I want to know what the first fake tits ever looked like. Were they on humans? Probably like English muffins. Ew, yeah. Like Thomas's, you know?

Thomas's, I like them. I love a good English muffin butter and jam not on chest I wonder what they looked like that's crazy dude 1895 oh my god they were just wooden yeah and imagine this girl probably is in pain all the time but it has to be like this

but that's what I'm saying like who the first one was And imagine this girl probably is in pain all the time, but it has to be like this. But that's what I'm saying. Like, who the first one was? Wow, I thought it was like the 70s. It was her choice. Yeah, was that long ago? I thought 80s. Wow. Can we get a picture of that first boob job?

They didn't even have cameras. Yeah. God, imagine her going over the Donner Pass. I'd put her right out in front. We're too dumb to know what that is. The Donner Pass? Yeah. That's where they made the trek across the...

Oh, oh. And they cannibalized each other because they got caught in the mountains and they ran out of food. It's like that soccer movie. They'd be like, what's this? Alive. Yeah.

Alive. Not for long. That's the sequel. Oh, that's the movie Alive? Yeah. Oh, got it. Yeah, I know that movie. We got any questions, Nick?

We did have one from this guy. We had a couple. It's Nick. Boy, where's he at? I don't know where that's coming from. That's pretty beautiful. I bet Harlan's been there. Yeah, that looks like Spain.

Harlan, real quick, You don't want kids? I would like kids I just gotta find a good woman We better get going my man I know man But it's tough We should do the dating thing For him

Oh Harlan's Highway We're about to ruin his life No I found someone Some fucking jerky fan That's just like Gets pregnant

Well it was good What's that voice you're doing? That's you dude Well it was good what's that voice you do dude well it was good I work on it Chris Brendan Eric what's going on I've got a debate topic for you it's got the transition shades tourist attractions on Distractions on vacation. Yeah. I hate them. Do you deal with the crowds? Never. To see the beauty? That's trouble, bro.

I don't know, man. With kids, it's different. It's just not for me. With kids, I would be more apt to do it because I want them to see it, and they would get a kick out of it. But if it's me and my wife, I don't think I would want to do that. It's exhausting. What?

You mean all the people around? Yeah. I would like to experience this stuff, but not around everybody. If you go to England, the Royal Jewels, you can look through there and see the jewels. I'm good. Yeah, we did that. I don't need to get all up close. You can't touch it anyways.

So we're waiting in line and I go, huh, that's it? My brother's gay. Oh, jewels. I'm good. I don't need to get all up close. You can't touch it anyways. So we're waiting in line and I go, that's it, my brother's gay. Oh, cool. Let's go. That's all. I've been to Egypt and in front of the pyramids and you just kind of go, it sucked because there were like Coke cans on the ground. There's a McDonald's in the distance.

I was thinking to myself, this is like one of these wonders of the world. I was with Sebastian and, this is one of these wonders of the world. People still don't get it. I was with Sebastian, and we got scammed. Oh, God. By this camel guy. I went in the pyramids. Oh, okay. Tell us your story.

Well, maybe I won't. Sounded like you didn't really want to hear it. Yeah, it sounded like another story. That was his, I don't think this is true. So I'm in the pyramids with Sebastian. You just dropped your father off. No, we got there, and we went to the, there's three main pyramids,

and the middle one is the biggest one. And there's a small little tunnel. It's only about maybe this high. What's that, about three and a half feet? Maybe four feet? So like Brad Williams would be all in. Yeah. So we went, and you can actually crouch down

and walk all the way into the middle and sit in the chamber inside the pyramid. And for whatever reason, we went. And there's tourists everywhere. For whatever reason, no one went in. And me and my, we went. And there's tourists everywhere. For whatever reason, no one went in. And me and my cousin were there. And we literally sat inside that pyramid for about 20 minutes by ourselves with the tomb sitting there.

What? It was magical. And then finally someone came in. But somehow we had 20 minutes in the middle of the day, and we were alone in there. That must have been a while ago, though, right? Just start writing a Seinfeld script. Yeah, that's right.

Writing the sequel to The Mummy. You know, now you're not allowed to climb it or whatever. You can't climb it, yeah. There was someone recently that decided to just sprint and climb up it. It's a beast. It's tricky, too. Yeah. And they got up there, and they thought people were cheering.

When they came down, they got their ass whooped. Oh, and one of the gods came and just fucking yeah and that middle pyramid is the last one with the finish still on the top right right right but like you know you go places like uh you know you go to if you go to paris do you want to go to the eiffel tower you know what i mean yeah all right but you're there you got to go right but do you have to go in it? You have to is what I'm saying. Well, you want to see it. Is there other things? You got to do it.

So how close you need to get then? You think that's. That's what I'm saying. I can be like, oh, there it is. Like if you flew over here from Australia and you see the Hollywood sign. Yeah. Or if they go to the Hollywood Boulevard. Yeah, you just want to see it.

You don't want to go touch it. Have fun. That's always a trip. Well, Hollywood Boulevard, forget it. There's two places people always want to go. They want to go to Venice Beach. When people come to LA. Oh, it's awful.

I go, you don't want to go to Venice Beach. Yeah, you don't want to. You don't know this. Let me tell you. This is not going to be. You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. Venice is cool.

What's cool? You've never seen anything like it. Like the art. Yeah, but they want to go to the fucking where the guys. No, they think it's the movie. Exactly. They think it's like some big busty lady who's like, no, it's not like that. It's crazy at Venice Beach. It's crazy. even more now but it always has been bro you haven't been

in nine years i was just there like this guy's not there anymore you know they already robbed him and take all his stuff oh that guy died i think that's great it's great you just feel it yeah looks like he bought his guitar at Target. What's one of those wonders of the world type places that you remember and you were like, I'm glad I did that? Well, I've been to the Taj Mahal in India. I've been to the pyramids of Egypt. Wow.

I've been to Easter Island. I've been to the Great Barrier Reef. This is crazy. I've been on safari in Africa. I've been up the volcanoes of Congo with the mountain gorillas. What? I've been all over the world. I've done all kinds of things.

With people and sometimes solo or what? A lot of times solo and sometimes with people, yeah. You can't have kids and do this. No, no, no. It doesn't mean he has a kid. Oh, you're saying like wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe friends no. It doesn't mean he has a kid. Oh, you're saying like wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Well, maybe friends, though. I don't know. That shit is crazy, huh? 19 hours to get there. Yeah, I think they say that's the second most remote place on the planet, distance-wise. What's the deal with Easter Island? What makes it special? So what's interesting is Easter Island is a microcosm of our planet.

is is easter island is a microcosm of our planet at one time it was a completely uh its own ecosystem it was its own jungle it was his own uh it had its own species of palm tree that was found nowhere else in the world and dutch settlers came and they totally ravished the island to where now as you see it, it's just like an empty barren plain. Why? White people fuck shit up? Good and bad. It sort of symbolizes our planet how they just

took this tropical paradise and reduced it to where nothing grows anymore. There was one final palm tree. They're actually called Easter Island Palms. there was one final palm tree it was they're actually called easter island palms there was one left and uh to show um his power the chief of easter island one day cut it down to show his power and they didn't save any of the seeds and now it's an extinct tree if you can believe it dude musk bought it you know i'm thinking when he's talking about all this stuff, you would be a great dad.

Imagine having all this shit. Everyone says that to him. He's fun too. I gotta do it. I feel like that's the one thing in my life I haven't accomplished. Let's put it out there. Going all these places and running from himself. I know. Here's the only issue though. Here's the only issue. When you wait this long

He's right though. We's the only issue. Like, when you wait this long. He's right, though. He's right. We're going to Burning Man. What were you saying? I'm just saying it sucks because, like, now when you're 61. 60. 60. I'm sorry.

And if you want to have a kid, he can't get with somebody 50. Oh, I see what you're saying. He was a 35-year-old. I wouldn't want him. Yeah, who would want to do that, though? I know, but that's the thing. She's going to be like, you're going to have to get with somebody. Al Pacino did whatever he was in 88.

She left him. She left him, and now she's getting child support. Everybody's like, oh, shocking. Yeah, and he's like 81. He's like, oh, shocking. Yeah, and he's like 81. He's like, oh, who cares? Yeah. He's all, thank God. This kid's not going to know me.

I'm not going to know this boy or girl or whatever. Who cares? Let's go to Burning Man. All right, what's this guy want, Nick? That's the same guy. We already talked to him. But this happened last night. A bar in Wisconsin, they said any game that Aaron Rodgers starts

and the Jets lose, you get a free tab. Salty bitches. What? So after he got hurt, the people went crazy. They're like, the Jets are definitely losing. They still won. Yeah, and they ended up winning, and all these people were fucked up. Oh, that's great, dude.

They all cheered when he got hurt, too. That's so fucked up. All he did for Green Bay? I mean, I'm not necessarily opposed to Rodgers, but... Is he wearing shoulder pads? He taped over his jersey. Still, some say they'll be flying high regardless of the outcome because after Sunday's game, they're in love.

I think we can work around that, especially after Jordan Love's performance yesterday. You know what? We can work around it. What do you mean? Yeah, Jordan Love. Yeah, Aaron Rodgers

blew his Achilles out. He's out at least the entire year, if not for good. No, that's it. He's 39 years old. You're not coming back from Achilles. And he looks 50, bro. No, stop. No, no, no. With technology, he can come back.

No. You don't think he looks 50? No. Really? No, he's not coming back. That's the end of his career. He's not coming back from Achilles. Not at 39.

No, he don't look 50. You're right. You're right. He's not coming back. When he has that mustache and he's the little gray I can tell you. I have to shit. This presents a shit so bad. They're speed walking competitions.

Yeah, just run. Yeah. I'd be so disappointed in my kids. But that's running. What changes? When do you get disqualified, though? What's running? One of your foot has to be on the ground at all times.

Wow. You know this? Yeah. That's hilarious. I'd love to go to that and put a full-grown grizzly bear on the track behind them and just see if they hold that fucking bed and walk out. The girl they pass. They should make a rule that when you cross the finish line,

you have to take a dump. I mean, that's terrible. What? Just that whole thing? No, it's just like you have this like – How do you find out you're good at it? But what happened here? I don't understand. Look at the girl.

Look at that girl. It's like, why... Talking about Lizzo in the back there? What's the reason this is being shown? Just... I just thought it was funny. We only got a couple minutes left. I mean, it is funny.

Look, I just thought like somebody falls or something. No. Salsa dancing the way to the finish line. Someone said that's funny. That's a bummer. It just sucks for the whole season for everyone. If you're into football. It sucks.

And you're watching. Five minutes in, right? Not even five minutes. It was four plays. Do you think those walking guys ever snap an Achilles tendon? I don't know. I doubt it. Do they get any injuries?

Yeah, right? Not very explosive. Oh, a blister. I have to stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they get any injuries? Yeah, right? Not very explosive. Oh, a blister. I have to stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably get hip injuries. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't look the way they're.

Yeah. It doesn't look. Oh, I had a horrible injury. My dad the other day. Every morning I do the Thighmaster. Remember Suzanne Somers Thighmaster? Yeah, I used to jack off that. So I lay on the floor with my pink spandex on,

and I'm squeezing my knees, and my dad walked in, and it slipped, and I flew across the D's and my dad walked in and it slipped and I flew across the room and hit him in the face. God. So much wrong with that story. You have a complicated relationship. Well, he's a janitor. I don't get to see him.

Hit him right in the face. That thing is so obviously not, doesn't work, you know? Well, I don't know about that. Well, you are powerful. Yeah, you are powerful. Did it not work? Is this one of those myth buster things where it's like, you know? Well, you're just strengthening your, what do you?

Your thighs. You put it right here and then you close it in and out. I do it every morning. They still have machines at the gym with those. I know. Every gym has them still. I used to have a stupid workout machine a long, long time ago. It was a joke, sorry.

It was like you sit on it and you just do like this. Yep. It's just your own body. I know that one, yeah. You know what I mean? They still have those out like the park sometimes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're brown and tan. I should bring that here. I have it someplace. They have the blue ones in LA right off of- Why don't you just ride it here? It's obviously a bicycle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got no wheels. It's just- Well, that's why it doesn't work. You just got gypped. There's wheels. That's it? Well, you got a podcast, right?

You want to plug it or something? I'd love to if you don't mind. All right, go ahead. Yeah, come on, dude. It's a great pod. Have you done it yet? No, no, no, but I've seen it. It's great.

I mean, you're so unique, bro. You're so funny. He's the best. Yeah. Harlan and I fought. fun. You're so unique, bro. You're so funny. He's the best. Yeah. Harlan and I fought. We fought on this podcast. Yeah. Everybody.

We fought. Harlan and Morgan. Yeah, that's it. The Harlan Highway podcast. Yeah. And we do it every Tuesday, every Tuesday morning. One came out today with Dion Cole. Oh, nice.

He's a really funny guy. Dude, you're so unique and so funny. Thank you. But you're like this outlier, dude. I admire you. You're just fucking great. Oh, thank you, Chris. So I'm glad you're here.

I appreciate it. Thanks for having me. What a treat. For sure. You're the best, man. Spokane, September 21st, 23rd. Spokane Comedy Club, September 21st, 23rd. I'm at Skank Fest, September 29th.

Are you? In Vegas. 29th and 30th. Yes, sir. I was going to go, but I'm shooting something. I'm going to be in Pittsburgh. Let me push that. Pittsburgh.

I'll be in Pittsburgh. What club? No. The theater? Theater. My dad's house? I don't know. Yeah, I'm playing your dad's house.

Watch out for the thigh master. And another thing. No, I don't know what theater but chrisley.com and in Cleveland I'll be in Cleveland and a bunch of different ones I'm doing Canada

this next week I guess where Orlando and Tampa Orlando and Tampa Calgary Edmonton Toronto or no

Hamilton oh that's what everyone says about Hamilton Ottawa Ottawa's good and one more oh yeah you're from Canada yeah where are you from? Toronto

Toronto's great I'm going to do Toronto next year that's about it I got one other one I'm going to be in Orlando at the Orlando Improv and then I'm going to be at the Tampa side splitters for the weekend

coming up in like a few weeks I think they should do the X Games in Tampa. I love Tampa. I love Tampa too. Tampa and Tempe. Great places. Love you guys. Spokane. See you soon. Yeah, Tampa's great.

I could live in Tampa. I think they should do the X Games there. The Tampax Games I tried to get it in We'll have to do next episode We'll explain your joke The second half of that Just as he's saying goodbye

We should tease it Wait till the end The greatest joke of the episode The Tampax Games. Thank you.