The Golden Hour - The Wall-Bergs | The Golden Hour PATREON #68 EXCERPT w/Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

Erik and Chris zoom in a couple of fans to talk about noisy upstairs neighbors and getting a private tour of the Egyptian Pyramids. They also discuss times they've been in aw, the Great Wall of China, and a fictional sitcom starring the Wahlbergs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm excited to go. I'm excited to go to the different places in my Europe turn now. Where do you want to go? One of the places people talk about is always like the Great Wall of China. That's one of those ones you go, do I want to see that? Right. It's pretty wild that they made that shit. I mean, I can't believe that they ever make anything.

That's why that to me is the strongest argument that we live in a simulation. Oh, here we go with the simulation. Okay. So they made a big, great fucking wall that's miles long. And it's like, that's, hey, because they have nothing else to do. It's too hard. They have nothing else to do.

You have slave labor. There's no, there's no breaks. I get it, I get it. There's no eight-hour shifts. I get it, I get it. It's just like the poor people, you're going to build this, and that's the end of it. That's incredible.

You know what I mean? Bro. That's incredible. That's incredible. Bro, they hiked up all that shit with the fucking stones. You're telling me. that's that's just nuts think of how dumb it is because they could probably just climb right over that you know what I'm saying well yeah I mean like imagine that's all the security you need how long is it like it doesn't surround all of China obviously but like is it like it's miles long why why don't you guess he's gonna do the more thing well I mean Nick you can't set it up like yeah yeah that's set it up like I appreciate that It was like 13,000 miles, dude. Yeah.

You think people build that. You know how long it took to build? How long did it take to build? Oh, yeah. How long did it? Yeah. I bet you it took like 100 years. More.

A hundred years. A hundred years, this fucking guy. Two thousand three hundred years. Okay. And you don't think it's possible? No, I think. You feel stupid now? No, no.

I don't feel stupid. Chris, 2300 years. That's what they'd say, too, though, isn't it? Okay, how many episodes of congratulations is that? There's 140,000 miles of railroad in the U.S. I think they can do it. That has a decent joke. Just silence.

Yeah. No, that's a funny. It's a funny joke, but it's a funny joke, but it's a very good point. The point is, I feel like a hundred years. is a long time to build something, right? Doesn't that sound like a long time to build something? Sure, yeah. 2,300 years.

I mean... It's also what they'd say. You'd lose track. That means your whole family. That means your family for generations was building a wall. You're just a wallbirds. Imagine being the first.

Now, that is an example of a joke that's only funny and makes no sense and does not hit home. What are you guys? We're the wallberg. that's good I like it once we finish build the balls

we go in the rap and then we do movies after we finish I mean come on dude it's really hard building this fucking wall so that's why I had to get up

so early yeah yeah imagine what his day would look like another good joke imagine you know that list of things for his day

six o'clock 2.10 get the rocks 3 o'clock hiking up the fucking big ass hill it's like that's your life yeah 5 a.m. eating Chinese food

dude that's your I just want you to consider that your whole life and at least five generations of your family is building walls that's it five like a hundred generations

more than five yeah 100 yeah no no because at a certain point your family just dies off. Donnie, where's the big rock? Donnie, where's the big rock? Where's the big one? This is a sitcom coming to Fox. The Walberg. So, 13th century China. So

imagine the first guy to get out there. Imagine to be like, all right, we're starting it. You didn't know that it was going to be until 2025. You still got it. That's just insane. Oh, that's true. That's insane. That's insane. That is insane.

to think of that. When did they start building it? And then to just be, and when was it done, by the way? It was done a long, long time ago. So this is way before that. Imagine you're the last guy. It's the last rock. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where's, yeah. Just like that. We're safe. Boom. Yeah.

An era. So, okay, so began in the seventh. That's when. wallbergs escape to the united states oh no the guy got shot by a fucking arrow it doesn't keep it safe at all um this is our this is my this is our my favorite golden hour bit right now yeah it's pretty good the wallbergs we're not to clip it somehow so uh yeah that's just crazy so okay so yeah i mean 221 bc is when this shit started could you imagine going back to this fucking time no and and and and and and you're like just i'd get killed instantly well yeah no i know but

like well also they'd be like what the fuck they'd be mad at me because i've eaten too much food they're like what a but but i'm not even gonna be a god i'm not yeah yeah yeah but even so even me though they'd be like, what? Yeah. Hey. Also, talking about me, you know?

You're talking about me. I know you are. But if we went down. You're saying I'm gangly. It's a word that's created. You don't know gangly yet, but this would be shocked. You know why they would think we were gods?

Because I'm 53. Yeah. The one who doesn't die. Yeah, they've never seen anyone that lives over 28. That's hilarious. I wonder what the, like, this is now I'm really interested.

What was the life expended? expectancy of a person The one who complains of his feet being hurt Can you imagine? It would take me like I'd be an hour in Just like Yeah When are we breaking?

Just on the Is there a lunch truck? Like how do we eat? He wants to entertain us Uh Wow Through here to Um

Yeah what was the Of course they didn't survive the construction This is what I'm saying only lasted five generations because you're just the last guy in your family yeah so you just have to fuck somebody on the wall yeah a million

a million people died from causes disease oil workers accidental falls mortality rate of about 10% bro one in 10 you're gonna fucking die on this wall wow wow you need me on this wall that is wild bro

I am just I am really deep in my right now you know you ever You ever feel something and you go, wow, I really feel that. And then tomorrow you'll be like, remember when I really felt that shit yesterday? I don't feel it anymore. The scope of it is crazy. Yeah.

Because we just, because all we could do is compare to what we do now. Like, we did this podcast for an hour and I'm done. I'm so tired. You know what I'm saying? Can you imagine? This is your whole life. Like, if we had the podcast from 6 a.m. until fucking, you know.

And 2,300 years. It did just be a long lows of silence because we're like, we already talked about that. Oh, yeah. We did the, how long can we do the Wahlberg joke for a little? I mean, DeLeia can really run a bit into the ground, but. Oh, man. Oh, my God. I'm tripping out, bro.

We're so small, you know. Yeah. It's crazy. Even the pyramids, though, they say that, you know, millions of, of people died making their pyramids. They don't have, think of this. There's no equipment. There's no guy with a, you know,

there's none of that. You're so stupid. It's none of that. It's just a family of seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know, man. Imagine if it's you, Kristen, Billy.

Oh, my God. You're in charge of a rock. Dude. Oh, my God. And that other guys fucking complained about noise. Live in China. in 23 BC There's a dog upstairs

He keeps comping around What are we talking about, man? Oh man, this was a good episode Yeah All right, well, I'll be in a bunch of different Just go to Chris Lai.com I'll be in a bunch of places too Yeah, wow

Check me out Fun, okay, this is a good one Yeah, thanks guys I'm so tired I know because you're thinking about If you're on that wall No, just a podcast for an hour tiring.

I see. Thank you. Thank you.