The Golden Hour - Tired Monks | The Golden Hour #59 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

The guys talk Chris being a gym rat and working out next to Jason Derulo, AI models tricking people, open relationships, Iggy Azalea's viral freestyle, athlete sidepieces, performing in school plays, Michael Jordan making 5.5 million a day, all new fan submissions including a debate about going into business with a friend and much more! Get the full episode plus two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code: GOLDEN MeUndies - https://www.meundies.com/goldenhour for 20% off plus free shipping

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Cause I can show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour

It's the Golden Hour I did legs today already, bro. You did? You woke up and did legs? Yeah. Oh, wow, dude. You're serious about it. Took my kid to school and then... There's a...

School? Yeah. There's a gym on the way here. So I dropped my kid off, went to the gym. You're a gym rat now. Worked out next to Jason Derulo. He was there. Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo. Was his dick in the way?

Does he have a big one? That's what he's known for. Oh, really? Besides his slappers. Yeah, was he on the machine? Yeah, he was doing dick curls. Yeah, he was doing dick lifts. He got in a little trouble, right? And then it just kind of went away.

Did he? Oh, right. I remember that. Remember how they cut it out of the cats? That's right. Oh, that's right. You know what? Honestly, I have to be honest. I don't know if it was him or not at the gym i think it was him

racist no i don't i don't know i realized when i saw him i was like is that jason derulo and then i realized wait i don't think i know what jason derulo looks like you know and and and then i was like i'm gonna you know what it's him and then i saw another buddy of mine la monica who's on that yellowstone show what which one um i don't i don't know which one he's on actually but he's on yellowstone la monica garrett pull him up bring him up that is my favorite show him with the beard big beard he definitely wasn't in 1848 yeah he no he's 1883. He's the one black guy in 1883. He's a great actor. Yeah, he's good.

Yeah. Cool dude. Because there's no black guys in Yellowstone. Yeah. Yeah. Well, whatever. He's in 1883. Yeah.

Right. He's great. But isn't that a spinoff of Yellowstone? Yeah. Yeah. So what's Yellowstone? Yellowstone is the only white people, right? Yes.

Yeah. But he had a Yellowstone hat on, which made me think, well, he's not on the actual show Yellowstone? Yellowstone is the only white people, right? Yes. But he had a Yellowstone hat on, which made me think, well, he's not on the actual show Yellowstone. Because why would he be wearing the Yellowstone? You know what I mean? Like, that's funny. It's still kind of funny, though. It is funny if you're funny about it.

But this guy's like a, I mean, this guy's a serious actor. And he's also, God, the guy's so jacked. Is he jacked? Yeah, he's great. And he's the nicest guy. He's a badass in 1883. He's really jacked. Is he jacked? Yeah, he's great. And he's the nicest guy. He's a badass in 1888. He's really, really cool. Have you guys seen that Rogan Alpha Brain commercial?

Mm-mm. Uh-uh. Oh, yeah. It was coming up on my Instagram and stuff. No. Is it real, though? Because there's a lot of fake ones. Oh, I don't know.

It was him. Brian's buddy, because with AI, they figured out how to take Rogan's voice, because he has such a catalog, to make him say anything. So they have him shillingilling like sleep apnea machines. Dude. And Brian's buddy bought one. Oh, no. That's hilarious.

Well, you can sue for that. Yeah, yeah. At this point. Dude, somebody sent me – I talked about this a little bit on congratulations but not much. Somebody sent me a profile. You've heard about the AI model girl. Yeah, the pink hair girl. The redhead.

Whatever it is, yeah. Somebody sent me another one, and I couldn't believe. The one that we know that we're talking about, you could tell, I think. It's still tough, man. I think you could tell. It's pretty real. Dude, there's another one. There's two black girls, too.

I'm going to try to send you this. Oh, AI don't discriminate? There's black girls? Yeah. This was. And are they famous, too? Like, someone's making money off them. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, no, but the one, that one, they came up with that one, the redhead girl. Because their whole thing was like, they're tired of working with influencers. Yeah, that's hilarious. Who have attitude problems. I'm sending you the real. Bro, this is AI, and I still don't believe it. Even though it says on the thing, AI, girl.

But is it just pictures? No, it's video. And I'm like, I think it's a model. It's getting dicey. That's messing with us. That'd be smart. It will be smart. Like, I'm not even a real person. Bro, how is this AI?

Just look at this one. Because that one, I think you could tell whatever that woman is. It's tough. With the pink hair, girl? Yeah. Oh, wait, what? But also, you got to remember, if you're into this AI girl, you're just talking to some weird, some weird nerdy dude who created it.

Or you're talking to AI now at this point. It could just be some like, I know what you like, you pervert. Yeah, exactly. But you can have them. I've got full access to your phone. You can make them do requests and stuff. Yeah. Bro, in 10 years, it's going to be balling.

It's going to be awesome. You mean you can pay and they'll do anything? balling. It's going to be awesome. You mean you can pay and they'll do anything? Well, when the robots, when the sex robots and the AIs are getting like, you know, Whoa! Oh my God. That's a real human being.

Now go to the profile. That's real. I mean, her face, maybe, but the body, though. No, that's real. She got like a tattoo and stuff. It's real to me. But look at the thing. Look at the thing. Look at the thing. Look at the thing. It says AI.

Maybe those are. AI right there. Just go next door. AI. I went to UCLA though. Like that looks fake to me. These. But the video?

That to me looks like AI. But these AIs know us, don't they? They get me every time. What did you say? They know us? They get me every time. What did you say? They know us? They got me, man. They do it with cars, too. Like, you son of a bitch.

You don't have, like, a wide ass. And West Island Terriers. Yeah, dude. But here's the thing, though. I don't understand. That's an angel. Here's the thing about this. I think people like OnlyFans and those kinds of things because there is a delusional part

in your brain that this is a real Person that maybe I can Meet or maybe I can pay to meet Yeah sure there is that That's what happened to that one main girl she posted him I know but my point is this though This is not real at all So I don't know

What is the appeal I think that you're overestimating how dumb, dumb dudes are. Okay. Yeah. But even porn stars deal with it. Well, yeah, but they're real. Yeah, but to Eric's point, there's a hope. There's a seed in the back of their mind.

Eventually, I'm going to run into, insert porn star name. She's going to be my girlfriend. But that is, although very unlikely, possible. This is not. That's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is you're never... The only way... So here's the future. They got

the neural links, right? So the future is going to be like, I buy my Elon glasses and it's like... And then that girl and I are now in a relationship when I'm sleeping. And you're having sex with a warlock. Imagine you go to bed, you had a fight with your wife,

and you're just like, good night. What do you want to sleep with your glasses on? She's like, you were doing weird stuff in your sleep. Because in my sleep, I'm just. You were doing weird stuff in your sleep. It wasn't me. So I don't know. Is that cheating?

It was her. Would that be cheating? I think that. Is that cheating it was her would that be cheating I think that is that cheating cyber cheating well I mean does your wife would she think it's cheating

hell yes I mean I think my wife would think it was cheating like Chris said very delicately well I mean I think

we've never we've never talked but I think I think I know her answer I think my wife would say like no way

I think I think your wife would say, like, no way. I think. I think your wife would, yeah. 100%. So is yours. I think so. No, we don't need to call, right? No, your wife would be like this. She'd give me those glasses.

Bitch, how the fuck are you going to. She's all. She's all. She's all. She just. Cue, cue, cue, cue, cue. She'd be like this. You're like, you go back in.

You're like, what the fuck did you do to my AI? She takes them off. She's so mad. No, but I have to get new glasses. I just don't. It's crazy. But that's like. Dude, that joke is so funny.

Bitch. But that's like this, though. There are people who think that masturbating is cheating. There are, exactly. Okay, so what I'm saying is that you're right. But wait, hold on. You're like, then I'm a hoe. But there are people that also think that fucking other people is not cheating,

as long as you're honest about it. You just had fucking Adam on your podcast. We're talking extremes. I you just had fucking, what's his name? Adam on your podcast. We're talking extremes. I'm just saying. You know what I'm saying though? Yeah. No, no, no, no, I'm saying most people don't live there.

So open relationship, you can fucking have everyone. That's like a very small percentage and that doesn't work out. It never works out. That doesn't work out. I don't know one person's work out for you. And then you have the other extreme

who is just like, you know, he was masturbating and you know, if he's not thinking about me or extreme who was just like, you know, he was masturbating. Yeah. And, you know, if he's not thinking about me or whatever, it's like, so what's the two extremes? Where's AI in this? I think, yeah, that's a good question. You know what I mean?

It's not a real person. Right. You know, would you argue with your wife like that? She's not real. What is it? Your feelings, though, because let's say you came home and your wife was just had her glasses on you like what are you looking at and she's just just getting dicked down just opposite it wasn't a real person i i don't i'd find it hard to feel bad if she's doing three four times a day and you're like let me see what's happening i mean

if you're doing anything too much i would be like come on. She's making dinner. If she was doing... She's just frying eggs. Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric. My wife is not making dinner. Yeah, because she's too busy doing fucking tree videos. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. But wait, if it was

a person made up, okay, if it was Jason Derulo, AI, then I would be like, that's fucked up. But if it was a person, yeah, okay, if it was Jason Derulo, AI, then I would be like, that's fucked up. But if it was a person, yeah, I don't know. This is just my first thought.

It'd be weird every time she put on the glasses. That's crazy. But no, no, but you're only thinking that because there's a chance she could be out at Starbucks

with the kids and Jason Derulo bumps into her by accident in the grocery aisle like, oh, hey, what's up?

How you doing? Well, I asked Adam 22, I said, are there any rules? Like, you, hey, what's up? How you doing? Oh, my God. I asked Adam 22. I said, are there any rules? Like, you guys have a dope relationship. And do you ever get jealous? He's like, the one time I did get jealous is Drake DM'd my girl. And I was like, that's when you know you fucked.

Drake DM'd your girl. He gets what he wants. Right. He's like, that was the only time. He's like, do not message that dude back. So then, all right. Well, so they're open and honest. So that would be cheating then if she did that with him. I guess.

There's rules. It's Drake. Okay, what if I'm just talking technology. I know I'm making a joke about the neural links, but this is a real thing that's about to happen. No, it will happen, yeah. And so, like, what if, like, you know, the VR gets to a point where you can put on the glasses

and then you can put your dick in the sofa. Yeah, yeah, of course. That's happening. You know what I mean? And then you're just like, but it could be the same thing for women. You know,

they could just have a dildo that's like whatever and then they put this on Jason Derulo's banging your wife. Yeah. But it's like, are we going to get to a point

where that's going to be okay? This is a higher form of masturbating. I mean, look, it wouldn't, what are we getting, like where are we headed? Look, look,

it wouldn't bother me as much as actually doing it. There's no way it would bother me as much as that. It would bother me across the board.

How about this? What? Sex doll. Having sex with your wife, but you both have on glasses. Well, then you're just married to the wrong, fucking Jason Derulo.

Well, then you're just married to the wrong person. Jason Derulo. Yeah. It's like that Black Mirror episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then you're just married to the wrong person.

If you're both thinking about somebody else while you're fucking, all right, just go do your thing. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. If I'm not giving rocks up anymore. But when you're 65, I don't know.

What's it like when you're with somebody for life? What I'm saying is like- Or if you put it on and it brings a third woman in. I'm saying, why would it be? Here's Abby. Hey, what's up?

Nobody's there. She's like, who are you talking to? Dude, it's Jason Derulo. It's two Jason Derulos. I'm fucking Jason Derulo, and I'm having a conversation with Jason Derulo. He just came in. Jason Derulo's a cuck in my world. But dude,

this could be a whole thing. Like, you know, if you think about it, like, that's where you can live. Like, what I'm saying is like, it could be a world where like,

your apartment is just, you know, you come home and this is actually your apartment. You know, you're sitting like

in a zero-duty thing and then your apartment is this. Because when you have this on, you live anywhere you want. There's naked people, whatever your desire is. It's the metaverse. I think, I don't know, man.

It makes me sad. That's what they want us to turn into. Look, that's Brendan in a few years. That's all of us. That's me and Eric. Yeah, all of us. I don't know, man. It's me and Eric. Yeah. All of us. I don't know, man. It's me and Eric.

2040. But now if you were going to do that, and that's me, by the way, the robot. I died and my brain's in there. Going, oops. Yeah, yeah. Oops, oops. Dude, it's still got the kink, kink, kink, kink one that you hate. Dude It's still got the

King king king king That you hate Wait so What would happen there though Is our life expectancy Would go down Because we're not moving And shit

Correct So we'd be Not if you're Not if you're connected to Yeah you're right So you're connected You know You're just like

Doing that Bruce Lee shit Yep And they're That's how you work out now You just go into a thing You got nanobots That cure all the diseases Yeah yeah That you just come out You know Yo You just go into a thing. You got nanobots that cure all the diseases.

Yeah, that you just come out. Yo. I don't want a part of this. Really? No. I don't like that. I don't like electric cars. Nope. You got to get with the change.

Nope. Refuse to. Transhumanism is a position that human beings should be permitted to use technology to modify and enhance human cognition. That's a watered downdown way of saying it, but it's basically like we'll combine with technology. Sure, of course. Wait, wait, wait. Check, please.

This is already happening. There's already people that do like – it's like people that do tattoos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have these things where you can like put lights in your arms. Yep, I've seen it. Have you seen that shit? I don't know what it's called. Look at this.

I have one. It says oops. I want to. But like a neon sign. Yeah. That's to me that looks, it looks cool, but like to have that on your body, glow in the dark or whatever, you turn a UV light on it. It's like, dude, you're going to get cancer, right?

They got like weird like things in their fingers or like they make like their fingers a flashlight or like it's like weird shit. People are stupid, huh? Yeah, dude. And they're getting like sick because of like, you know weird shit. People are stupid, huh? Yeah, dude. And they're getting like sick because of like this foreign body. Right, right, right, right. Look it up, Nick.

It also needs batteries. I found it. Yeah, you got to plug yourself in. CT. But that's really crazy, man. I mean, look, that stuff is going to happen. Just how soon, you know? But just getting back to it,

what we originally talked about is like, you know but just getting back to it what we originally talked about is like you know i know you i know guys are stupid and you know they're talking with this right dming yeah and they're trying to hit up this fake girl but it's like a certain like but what to what end is my point maybe we ask somebody out there like if you're if you if you're i know our followers follow that kind of thing well it, it's like Ruby and that Ruby Rose. That's what I was thinking of. She posted. She was like this.

My number one OnlyFans guy. He dropped like 60K in a single year. And she's like, it's getting creepy now. She posted all his messages. And he was like, just respond to me. I'll send you basically like six figures in crypto. Like, you're the love of my life. And he followed her all over the states

Like crazy shit Well Ruby Rose the actress No Ruby the Is she a porn star No she is a gift from heaven You've never seen her Ruby Rose wasn't that the woman who played Catwoman No that's a different

But her name is Ruby Rose I know who you're talking about She's like a video vixen She might be a rapper I don't know That's a different. But her name is Ruby Rose. Yeah, I know who you're talking about. No, this one, she's like a video vixen. She's lesbian. I think she might be a rapper. I don't know. Nick. Yeah, that's Ruby Rose. That's Ruby Rose, but there's a.

Who are you guys talking about? Ruby what? Oh, you're talking about a different person. Kevin. You don't know the name. Kevin, tell them. The black one? Yes.

Ruby Rose Black. Kevin. R-U-B-I. Oh, there we go. Of course. Ruby Rose. Now, bring up her only face. That's her? Yeah, that we go. Of course. Ruby Rose. Now bring up her OnlyFans. That's her?

Yeah, that's her. And so. She had some crazy doing. She posted all the receipts of this dude being like, I'm your number one fan. Okay, so. And following her around. So, and she's. She's a rapper.

A rapper. Okay. And is she naked on the OnlyFans? I don't know. I don't subscribe. Well, then she's a porn star. Well, you know what I don't like?Fans? I don't know. I don't subscribe. Well, then she's a porn star. Well, you know what I don't like? Preach, Chris.

Preach. I don't. People act like, dude, this is a porn star. If you're showing your pussy or dick or whatever online, congratulations. You're a porn star. You could also have another job, but don't act like, no, I'm not a porn star. Yes, you are. You know what's crazy?

That Iggy Azalea, she's the number one OnlyFans girl. She has 40 million followers. Is she nude on the internet? I don't know what she's doing on there. She's a porn star. No, no. She's actually doing something different. All right.

Well, that's okay. Clapping them cheeks. No, she's on there doing behind the scenes of making her music. It's a whole thing. And also showing her ass. Well, I mean, but she shows her ass anyway. But think about this. You can see her on Twitter with her music. It's a whole thing. And also showing her ass. Well, I mean, but she shows her ass anyway. But think about this. You can see her on Twitter. She has

$40 million and whatever it is, $5. She never has to make another fucking song again. I'd go, check, please. Who's that? Iggy Azalea? She hasn't made another song. She had some slappers, dude. Yeah, she did, but then she did that freestyle. She had one song.

Remember she did that freestyle? Yeah. It didn't go great. Oh, man did, but then she did that freestyle. She had one song. Remember she did that freestyle? Yeah. It didn't go great. I don't remember that. Tired monk. That was like Nick freestyling. Yeah, look up the freestyle. Less N-words. Splash. Splash.

You feel good? She was off this day, man. I feel fucking good. It's so supportive. She's just off. It's a bad day. Her captions are good. Her dance is like... I know. This is my favorite freestyle, though.

Like, dude, if this was 8 Mile and then Eminem had to go, you'd be like, oh, fuck. He's fucked. Dude. Iggy not. It's Iggy not Jigga. Break. Chris, we're taking a break from. Hey, dude.

Good, because I am just beat. So let's take a break. Yeah, there's something special going on down in the UFC 296. And DraftKings Sportsbook is helping you come out on top in this epic bout between Colby Covington and Leon Edwards. Nick, who you got in this? I got to go with Colby. I got to go with my boy Colby. Nick, what do you got?

You're wrong. I'm going to responsibly put my Christmas bonus on Leon Edwards. Wow, dude. I like it. That's zero dollars. So that's... Yeah. I'm really rooting for Brandon Roy Vale.

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Knock out your holiday shopping today and get 20 off your first order plus free shipping at me undies.com slash golden hour that's me undies.com slash golden hour for 20 off plus free shipping me undies comfort from the outside in so wait so she's crushing it in other things, though, you know? She's crushing it in other things, though, yeah. She never has to do that bullshit ever again because of her fat ass. Well, that's great, yeah. No, but she's making music, so she's still going to make music. That's what the whole OnlyFans is about. Because she doesn't want to say she's a porn star.

There's no sucking dick, Chris. All right, well, okay, fine. Well, no, but if you're still showing your pussy, you're still- Not a porn star? It's pornographic images. It's tasteful. You're still a porn star Chris. Okay, fine. Well, no, but if you're still showing your pussy, you're still- Not a porn star? It's pornographic images. It's tasteful. You're still a porn star. And that's fine.

I don't give a fuck. But have these- She's cool. Let's see. Fire mom. Tiger mom. Dude, she had an off day. People were recording it, man.

She recorded it. Yeah, true. Yeah. She was like, this is hot she was well kind like the jay-z and the that gif you know this is the equivalent of a comic putting out a really bad special and then it's tough dude you know you gotta you gotta yeah do the work well yeah been there um no there that's it that's it i love that Jeff I love that Jeff Did you see this Brendan

Diana Belvita she's an MMA fighter She posted an email she got Because she's on OnlyFans right She's not on OnlyFans She never will but if anybody wants to read Hi there I'm 52 years old My name's Eric Griffin I live in Florida You piece of shit I'm 52 years old. My name's Eric Griffin. I live in Florida.

You piece of shit. Sorry, dude. Eric's name's not in there, but it's clearly him. I'm 52 years old. I live in Florida. I'm an admirer of women who are physically strong and who can fight. I seek a unique experience. This is Brian Callen. and who can fight, I seek a unique experience.

This is Brian Callen. I'm looking for a female fighter who's willing to lock me in a room and overpower me in a fight while torturing me and inflicting some serious pain. I'm not looking to get hurt or hospitalized, but I'm looking to experience some very severe pain delivered by a woman who knows how to fight. You must be willing to, A, cause several pain in numerous ways, mostly grappling, but also some striking. Let me fight back, so you must be confident you can win.

I'm 5'9", 170, shredded, bitch. Choke me unconscious, two to three, possibly more. You can use legs or arms or switch around. Continue hurting me even if the match is very one-sided. I'm begging for mercy. Strike my body repeatedly and bruise me all over my torso area. This is not a joke. This guy's fucking hot.

Let me film you torture me for my own use only. If you're a qualified instrument doing this, I can offer you $1,000 for you to torture me. That's why she posted this. You know what's funny?

She was reading like, okay, wow, this is $1,000. And that's why she posted this. You know what's funny? For 90 minutes. She was reading like, okay, wow, this is $1,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if that was said $50,000, we wouldn't even see this email, and some guy would be getting beat up in a car. Yeah, yeah. I'm looking to do this in December or January. If we are a good fit for this, we can possibly make it happen

multiple times a year. She's pretty bad huh yeah cut to the guy shows up and he's just like so we're gonna fuck right yeah exactly you know that's what he wants that's what he wants so we're fucking so that whole beat me up stuff we're just you're gonna suck my dick but here's the thing though this is like you know what just reminds me of is like when you put a casino in a neighborhood, all right, it comes with some things. Yeah. That's Buffalo.

No, I'm saying it comes with crime, and it comes with seedy things. It comes with like pawn shops, and maybe, oh, the economy that it helps. No, no, no. But it comes with stuff. Right. The porn industry has a similar thing. Yeah. So like when these girls are talking to our guys too,

and they're on here, and they're getting these things, don't act like, you know. But she's not an OnlyFans. She's just a professional father. Yeah, that's different. But yes. But I'm just saying, so the girl who's like, it's getting creepy.

Bitch, it's being creepy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You signed up for creepy. It was creepy when you put yourself naked on the internet. That's when it getting creepy. Bitch, it's been creepy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You signed up for creepy. It was creepy when you put yourself naked on the internet. That's when it was creepy. Yeah, you signed up for creepy. And now we're responding in turn and then all of a sudden, this guy's the weirdo? He also sent you

$60,000. You know what I'm saying? You can be a little creepy. That's the point where you go, no, you keep your money because I don't want you to think. No, you're like, oh, thank you. Yeah, you took the money. Once't want you to think. No, you're like, oh, thank you. Yeah, you took the money. Once I give you $60,000, I'm like, oh, it's on. We fucking.

Right. Even if it's like whatever my behavior is, it's on. So I think it just comes with that. I mean, it's just. Yeah, but I'm just like, tie your monks, tie your monks. But what about what I'm trying to say, though, is like, imagine if there's people giving this AI $60,000. They are. Well, yeah.

I keep thinking of things to say, but I'm so interested in what everyone's saying, and then I lose it. Dude, Chris, that guy thinks eventually he's going to pay that girl enough money where she's going to be like, all right. Yeah, I understand that. With that Ruby Rose, he's even like, I understand that. With that Ruby Rhodes, he's even like, I'm your number one guy. You owe me this. At least with AI,

you can't find the person. You're like, fuck this person. I'm going to kill this person. And you're like, oh, she doesn't exist. Yeah. Safety. Safety.

Safety. But then they find out who's the person behind it. Look at these long messages. That's actually a great horror movie where a guy falls in love, he's been robbed, and then he finds out the computer people that did this, and he tracks them down and kills them. John's sick.

Dude, we got to make that. Yeah. Look how long. That's crazy. She posted too much, though. Dude, okay. But yeah. Well, also.

I'm in love with you. I won't bother you. Got a tattoo of her on his fucking arm. It's a bad tattoo. But go to the cops, right? Did she? Also, isn't this her phone? Isn't this from her phone?

Well, burner phone. Right. Even still. But what? Even still what? What makes it even like. I don't care if it's a burner phone or not. Oh, he has her number.

No, but our OnlyFans, they have a system, though. It's a number. It's like a fake number. All right. Okay. Whatever. I guess. I don't know, man.

I assume. Oh, really? Nick, you have OnlyFans? It's not even that. Don't try to deflect on the Nick. I swear, I don't know how it works. But honestly, it's not even the fact that he has subscriptions on OnlyFans. You are on OnlyFans jerking off.

You make money. And congratulations, bro. That's great. Shout out. I'm like Iggy. Yeah. I still do comedy, but I have $40 million a month. Icky Azalea.

So wait. Thicky Azalea. Icky Azalea. So yeah. Oh, my God. Buy a monk. Brennan's on that my god buy a monk's on their thing buy a monk tie a monk jacket oh that'd be terrible jerking and yeah and freestyling badly so wait um but i keep okay so get your thought out so my thought was from way early on.

Go on. I think men will... I think that a lot of it has to do with just companionship and feeling okay. Because look at the movie Her, right? With Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix, great movie. That's happening right now.

But I know. And guys are okay with it, I think. They're not, though. They're so sad. But it fills a void. A lot of these people don't have anybody to talk to. Yes, there is the sexual component to it, but there's also the, oh, I'm accepted. I like this.

This is nice. They also never showed him jacking off to it. Have you seen the sex robot guys? And that is a problem because I wanted to see that. Me too. Yeah, but what? The sex robot guys, they're weirdos. Well, yes.

But they got these, and they're taking care of them, and they're doing all this stuff. Yes, that is weird. I mean, listen, I get it. One got married to one. Yeah, I'm just, that's what I'm saying. So that's already, we're not talking about those people. Okay. We're talking about that guy that's sending her all that money.

Yeah. He's on the pervert spectrum. There's a spectrum for pervertedness. He's on it someplace high. But there is a part of him that thinks he will eventually pay this woman enough money. She's going to fall in love with him. And the fact that she's been interacting. No, no.

The fact that maybe I can. Yes. I'm saying there's no element like that. She's giving him hope. For the AI. There's no element. She's giving him hope. Yeah, she is. She gave him so much hope. He sent a journal. She's like, cool. He's like, oh.

But here's the thing, too, though. I think people are going to start to realize none of these OnlyFans girls, if they're making a lot of money you're never talking to them it's all being done by a company now you're being negative not bro but there's people who you know how hard it is to change someone's mind though oh i know you know i'm saying like people like will be like nah it's still there's still people in q anon they're like nah trump is

still president. I may be president again. But they think that people... There are people that think that it's like... Biden's a hologram. It's so hard to fucking change people's minds. So they'll be like, nah, she's real. I mean, people still believe in Jesus. I'm kidding, dude.

I'm kidding. Well, I watched Zeitgeist last night, so. Did you guys see Zeitgeist? I don't know what that is. Well, don't watch it. No one saw Zeitgeist. No? Oh, really?

Where were you guys in 2007? I remember that. I watched it. That's some shit you just click on on the floor in your apartment, and then all of a sudden you're like, oh, I guess I'm going to be watching the whole thing. Yeah. And you just stay on the floor.

I know exactly what you're saying. Because that's what happened to me. Not that, but I mean, yeah. But I was like, it's one of these things where maybe you should go, oh, what's that? And you're just so good.

You know what I mean? And then you're just kind of like, I guess I'm watching the whole thing. You know what I mean? Those are the best. Yeah. What's it about, Nick? It's like a conspiracy. Yeah, it about, Nick? It's like a conspiracy.

Yeah, it's a conspiracy. It's actually very well done. Did you watch it after Sam came on? Yeah, yeah. Well, but I also watched it in 2008 when it came out. But it's about, it breaks down. There's like different parts. I watched part one and part two last night.

down there's like different parts i watched part one and part two last night and it part one is about religion and how every for thousands and thousands of years there's basically been a version of jesus just it hasn't been jesus to different societies like it was horus the egyptian god and then it was all that he died for three days and then was resurrected the three kings and apostles exactly so stories have been borrowed right so they're saying that Jesus was it's basically plagiarized and it's and there was no versions of right so I love that

says directed Peter Joseph written Peter Joseph produced Peter Joseph edited Peter Joseph music Peter Joseph right so so anyway that's part one part two is then all of a sudden it goes to like 9-11 and how it was conspiracy and that part gets that part gets a little like you're like where's the proof but the Jesus stuff is

crazy well documentaries don't need proof no no no I know I know but it's just it's just it is odd if all you know you never know like it look look, what's true. But it's like, because then you see the YouTube videos debunking zeitgeist. And you're like, okay, well, let me watch this one. Yeah. Would anyone in here, because I think Elon, that brain neuron, they're taking 100,000 people like guinea pigs.

Would anybody in here do it? I had a buddy hit me up. He was like, dude, keep in touch with Elon. I'm like, who do you think I am? What is it that he wants to do? Neuralink. Neuralink. A brain chip.

They want 100,000 people to volunteer. Well, they want to get 100,000 people who are probably on their deathbeds to do it. You have terminal cancer. It's like, you want to try this? I haven't heard about this. Save lives? So what's this supposed to be? What's the goal in Neuralink?

You have all information in your head at any given time. So what's this supposed to be? What's the goal in Neuralink to... You have all information in your head at any given time. So Google in your brain. Yeah. It's not good. I'd be so annoying. Well, I'll tell you what. The first version is not good. I'll tell you that much. No, I don't want version one. You'd still be wrong

and shit. Neuralink one? Yeah. Be like, bro, I'm Neuralink. And they're like, well, you didn't upgrade. Yeah. You know? Yeah, but then... What, bro, I'm Neuralink. And they're like, well, you didn't upgrade. You know? What we're saying now is you don't need to go to school. Yeah. I saw a funny meme the other day. It was like,

you know that meme with Leonardo DiCaprio and Django where he's like, it said, teacher in second grade, you're not going to be carrying a calculator around in your pocket all the time. So you need to learn math. And then it had to plug it in. There it is.

That one. That's a great meme. Yeah, so I don't – I just – that's what that would be. I mean, like you're just – you just have knowledge in your head at all times. That's pretty crazy. All answers, all knowing. You'd be godlike, right? All knowing.

But how would you? No, because it's like who controls the information? Like, you know. Yeah. The left. It would be so hard because imagine you're in an argument right now. You'd be like, you know, well, this is what happened on that day. And then the other person, oh, no, it didn't.

Right. Right. Oh, well, I just found out that, you know, that just don't you can't use neural link yeah it's not even fun anymore people are already annoying when they do that you're having an argument oh let me google that now you're just like oh my dad does that you wouldn't even talk you wouldn't even have to talk you'd just be like all right yeah i know too but like chat gbt is can be wrong a lot so it's like the neural link is wrong like sometimes i'll watch'll watch old UFCs and I'll try to – I want to look up what the fights are without seeing the results

and I'll ask it and it will just make it up and they're wrong. But that's Chat GBT. This is like you could Google like whatever. When did World War I really start? Why? And you have all that information. You'd never be wrong. Encyclopedias and textbooks give you that.

No, no, but he's completely right because I was having an issue with a program, and I put in the AI the issue, and then it gave me a solution. And then I was like, wait, where is this? And then the thing wrote back like, oh, sorry. I just thought it would be like like ai was basically saying like my bad i made this up like i really i thought you could do it this way what yeah see this is the thing the neural link with the chip in the brain it's like seems like a what's the purpose thing can we look up the but anyway you heard about this like the kill switch that they're going to start

putting in automobiles they have it right now okay right but they electric cars but they but they don't have them in all of the cars but but they want to pass laws where they put them in all of the cars by 2026. Which is an issue. Which is, at first off, I was like, you know, it's one of those things where it's like, all right, well, I guess, whatever. They could, like, stop drunk drivers, stop robberies. Yeah, that's all great. And then you think, wait a minute, what if they want to fucking do another lockdown?

Yeah, keep going. Boom, no cars, Can't go anywhere. Do you know what I'm saying? Dude, you're on the side. And I'm just vibing. But it's like... And I like this vibe. I don't like when you vibe.

No, I like this vibe. But it's like, dude, why wouldn't they? That's the problem. Why wouldn't they? During COVID, they would have definitely shut down the cars. 100%. They would have for sure cut down the cars because they don't want us going anywhere.

That's fucking crazy. And I'm Republican. I'm far, far right. You got to be careful giving the government that power. It is pretty wild. It is pretty wild. And I'm not...

Because they're going to use the power. They're going to overuse it. I'm just saying. But it'd be a Trojan horse. We can stop robberies and high-speed chases. You're like, oh, that's good. But we can also control.

Because at first, I think when they say, we want to put kills for the truck, I think, I'm a good person. I don't need my car to be stopped. So fuck it. Stop all the bad guys. But dude, then you think a little bit further.

Dude, I'm so proud of you, man. Thank you. We're vibing. It's good with the bad. Because you can come up with examples where you would want this, and you can come up with examples where you wouldn't want it. You know what I mean? I can't come up with examples where you would want this, and you can come up with examples where you wouldn't want it. You know what I mean? I can't come up with too many.

You're in your car, you know, and, you know, I just saw there was a thing on Instagram where this little girl got on the golf cart, and, you know, and then they were golfing, and the little girl got on the golf cart, and she just took off. You know, and they were running, and they got it. You need the kill switch in that situation. That's what I'm saying. Or you're in your Mercedes, and you're like, you're calvin and right in your back seat and you just happen to like you know right i'll go let me go drop this in the mailbox next thing you know you know somebody jumps in and takes off with the car

they don't even realize their kids are in the back you're like kill switch you know what i mean i'm just saying it's like dad right yeah no dude shit happens there's always there's always you know something it's just it's just like you know when you talk about like the surveillance you know there's like should we have surveillance everywhere should there be cameras on every stop like should they you know where you can like because that's what's going to end up happening if cars all become autonomous there's gonna have to be some like system in place right and then we're going to end up happening if cars all become autonomous. There's going to have to be some system in place, and then we're going to see everything.

Even cars have cameras that are looking everywhere. Do you want the government having all that power? They're allowed to survey 24-7. No, I know what I'm saying. Well, Russia has it. So does England. Yeah. But what do you sacrifice?

Do you sacrifice your privacy for security and safety? That's the question you have to ask yourself. But is it really going to be security and safety that's the question you have but is it really gonna be security yeah is it gonna be are they who do you trust to keep you safe but i'll say this though the government i need ryan reynolds in the age of uh video cameras and stuff it's changed how people react 100 like like there was like uh like peeping toms and stuff like that right so there was i saw a video this guy this is a long time ago but the guy was like he was like walking in front of his female neighbor's house and he was just masturbating all the time, right? It wasn't until they put up a camera that he stopped.

Of course. You know, it's like in buses with kids, you know, school buses. They put the cameras. Like, you're being filmed. All of a sudden, kids are like, oh, okay, I guess they can see. So I'm saying, like, there are examples of where surveillance is going to help with people's behavior. Yeah, it's just how far do we want them to go with it, you know? But I mean even with the body cams with cops, I think it works for both ways.

I think it works for the cops to like see what they're doing. But also let's show what they're dealing with too. You know, like you're a cop. Right, right, right. The other – the criminal is like, fuck you. It's like, you you know they're like well this is why we had to beat this dude down yeah here's the here's the footage so i don't know man it's one of those things where you can you there's good and bad in history would say

you shouldn't trust the government with this stuff yeah that's the problem the common good is always the defense of tyrants yeah exactly, exactly. Boom. We're vibing. Honestly, I say that every morning when I wake up, and I say it right before I go to bed every time. That's so weird. That's Batman. Why would you say that? The common good is the defense of tyrants.

That's Batman. I go like this. Good night, sweetheart. The common good is the defense of tyrants. Did you put on your sex glasses? Yeah. Have a good night. Bro, I think that his wife putting on the glasses is the defensive. Did you put on your sex glasses? Have a good night.

Bro, I think that his wife putting on the glasses arguing with the other chick is one of the funniest jokes in Gold Hour. It's weird, man. What you got, Nick? That was good riffing. Yeah, it was. Riffing with Griffin. Guys, I don't know if you saw,

but there's this video that's been going around. This little kid gets a role in the school play, and he's super pumped about it. His mom's asking him what it is, and he's playing the guy who holds the door for Mary and Joseph in an activity play. Just got me thinking, when you guys were younger, did you do any school plays? I know personally, I tried out for the part of the scarecrow in my middle school Wizard of Oz play, and I got it because I was the tallest lankiest dude there and I made a complete fool of myself so just curious

do you guys do any school plays it was never even offered at my school I was the fucking man bro classic role is it classic part Joseph no

one of the three wise men? No. One of the innkeepers? No. But it's a classic part? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You tell me then. I'm door holder number three. I'll be holding doors. That's amazing. Holding doors for who? Probably Joseph and Mary. Oh, my gosh. Were you pleased when they said that? Yeah. And I was like, I'm a door holder.

Get in there. Let's go. Get in there. Let's go. And maybe because there's no room, I'll probably be just there, be like just coming in and then I'll just slam the door in their face. Is that your style though? Maybe.

I'll probably be dressed up as a door. This kid has no idea what acting is like. He's not going to be the door. I hate to be this guy. What? I hate to be this guy. What? But they probably talked. And then the mom was like, oh, this will be hilarious for the internet.

Dude, of course. When is the last time? All right, fine. When is the last time you were talking to Calvin? Negative Nancy. And before you even talked to him, you said, let me just go ahead and record this right now. Right, but I don't instruct him to do something for a video.

You could tell the kid's not a good enough actor. If he is, he wouldn't be playing the third door. That's funny. What I'm saying is that looks set up to me. That's funny, bro. You guys are good today. My four-year-old was in a play on Saturday. And the kids are nervous.

And they're sitting there, and his Mexican side came out. They started playing some fucking Latin music, and he was just vibing. They call me Cuban Pete. I'm the king of the rumba beat. It's like, shindler's list. Chick-a-dee-boom, chick-a-dee-boom. When I play the maracas, I go chick-a-dee-boom, chick-a-dee-boom. The fucking Jews are being killed.

He's the hottest guy in Havana. But no, but so the... Yeah, I don't know. School plays? Yeah, I mean, I was in school plays. When you were little? This guy was putting on plays in the living room. Yeah, bro.

But you were like four or five, six? Yeah, I guess maybe I didn't. Yeah, I did stuff. Y'all grew up rich. It wasn't even a goddamn option. No, not when I was that little. Maybe I was like a flower or something in a thing like it's springtime or whatever.

Did you? You probably wanted to be in a play. Bro, didn't your dad... He's like, don't be gay. Yeah, don't be gay. Didn't your dad... Where's Jesus in a play? Didn't you break your ankle and your dad said jog it off?

Yeah. Okay, you didn't do plays. So what about you? You were Jesus? Yeah, I remember being really nervous too. And that guy was supposed to be standing in the middle. And I was so nervous, I moved to the side oh yeah so you're blocking yeah yeah my blocking was just terrible you could never be door number three yeah yeah that was terrible um yeah i remember when i was

in high school i was a freshman and i wanted to do they were doing little shop of horrors and i wanted to be the dentist so bad but they always gave the big parts to the seniors and shit and the juniors and i didn't get it honestly, I would have fucking killed that shit. So what were you in the play? Great play. I think I was just like a chorus member because I was a freshman. They didn't give the parts to the seniors. Feed me, Seymour.

Yeah, dude. I loved that play. Me too. I had the toys and all. I loved it. Yeah. That song, Suddenly Seymour, is fucking gangster dude i love it me too because he's standing beside you it means there's no worries that shit god damn it slaps for me too

dude you were a nerdy ass freshman yeah i was did you get bullied as a freshman acting like that nah because i was funny dude i fucking, you know what I mean? That's how you deflect that. You can navigate. I would have been bullied for sure if I wasn't funny, but man, I would get hugs. Nick, did you do school plays? Ha! Yeah, but I cannot remember.

I would always get really excited about them, but I cannot remember anymore. I got molested. What did he say? He blocked him out. I got molested. He blocked him out. I got molested at the party.

I did go to Catholic church. I was in the play The Basement, right? Was that what it was called? It's about uncles. But you only, you have to go to. I played the scared seven-year-old. You have to go to certain types of school, though, that have plays. Like, that just, you know.

Yeah. That's a good school. Right. Okay, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess so, yeah. you're at a good school if you if there's plays and it's organized you're doing it right right fuck y'all man most i think you know yeah we didn't have a lot of plays in the inner city did you do plays no the closest thing i did was talent shows or i did a high school talent show and you sang nice fun plates and we won first place. Metallica. Oh, really? Metallica.

How old were you? Video. Like 17, 16. Oh, okay, okay. That's hilarious. This six-year-old playing into the sand. No, no, no. High school, high school.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chinese guy can rip. We played Cannibal Corpse when we were seven. He was just China man at his high school. Yeah, it's in Dallas. They're like, that Chinese guy can rip, man. No, no, high school was here in Santa Ana. Oh, it was?

That was Chin in the Dallas show. Chinza and I took first place. Dude, when I go to the game and one of these people are doing this shit. So disappointing. It is amazing. No, I'm just fascinated. I'm just like, are they going to fall? Oh, I throw my popcorn.

Get her off stage. Yeah, it'll be that. This is pretty wild. That is pretty good. It's either this or a group that's just not famous anymore. No, it's either this or Ja Rule. Dude, I feel like. Exactly, dude.

I saw 112 at the Clipper game. Oh, my God, dude. That's hilarious. I love looking at old R&B groups at the Clipper game, and they're just like fat. They're all fat in the face. It's like, he just had cream. He actually had peaches and cream. And they're still trying to be sexy.

They're trying to be all sexy. He just ate it. Yeah, he was like, he just had cream. He's not talking about chicks anymore. It's all about food. But that's what I love too You see those old groups Those old groups That they do like

All of them are out of shape Yeah And they all have those Baggy leather jackets on I looked up I looked up Yeah they do don't they All of them wear the baggy leather

They do don't they Beaches and cream I looked up I looked up This dog is so scared Cisco Yeah look at this shit Look at the dog just like Why are we I looked up I looked up His dog is so scared Cisco So scared Yeah

Look at this shit Look at the dog Just like Why are we Can we just You know what I mean Yeah Can we just

Can we just Watch the goddamn game Yeah look at this Yeah That guy's cheeked up though Wow I have I have NBA league pass

And I love watching The different halftime shows Really I hate them I hate them This I hate them. This shit is fucking – because this stuff is like you can do it. It's wow, amazing, but who fucking cares? That's what I'm saying.

It doesn't help anything else. Also, what the fuck was I going to say? Imagine making a career out of that. I just looked up Cisco. I forgot. I think I forgot he was a part of Drew Hill. Is he sick still? I mean, he's still whipping around and flipping and shit,

but the other guys in Drew Hill are just like the... You know what I mean? Have y'all seen Barry Bonds recently? He started doing jiu-jitsu. He did? He's riding bikes. He looks skinny. Skinny?

Yeah. It's better than fat, though. Yeah, because most ballplayers just get all big. Have you seen Allen Iverson in that Geico commercial? You're like, oh, what happened to your face? You look like Madonna. Allen Iverson, his answer should be no thank you to food. Oh, that's fucking funny.

God damn it. That's funny. Peaches and cream. So he does jujitsu. Yeah, they just gave him his blue belt for showing up. Well, let's see it. Nick clicked out of that at the wrong time, huh? That was the wrong one.

That wasn't it. Even a picture of him in it. Oh, here we go. There he is. Wow, he looks good, huh? The best is when he was talking to Side Piece and he released it. And he goes, I know what you need. You need that ding ding.

He said that? Yeah. Did he mean a home run? He goes, I know what you need. You need that ding ding did he mean a home run he goes i know what you need you need that ding ding oh my god he said that it sucks because he's uh i think the last vote the last vote hey girl where are you yo boo hey baby uh i'm free tomorrow uh oh shit i gotta i gotta do I got to do something. Hold on. So wait. Do any sports players not have side pieces? You know what I mean? Like, if you're a wife and then you marry a ball player,

you just got to go like this. And he's going to be fucking on the road a lot. I mean, dude, they're ball players, right? I told you guys before, I did this thing for the Rams. I'm in this cart with the players. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I asked all of them that. They were like, oh, yeah, the family thing. I said, where do the side pieces sit?

Did any of them actually answer? No, but they all were like, ah, bro, come on, man. Come on, man. We're not camera guys. Well, because the NBA has literally an area of four side pieces. So now it sounds like you're vibing. Yeah. That sounds like some vibing shit.

Bring it up, Nick. You think they have it? There's a whole – there's a side piece cam. Side piece cam. Yeah, I subscribe to it. Side piece cam. Say hello to the side pieces out tonight. But you think LeBron has side pieces?

He's too famous, bro. No, I don't think so. And if he does, it's like, it's real. Brendan thinks it's his side. No, no, but what I'm saying. Brendan's like, yeah, he's got dudes. That's Brendan Vybin. On his side pieces.

Yeah. Let me say something. If LeBron James has side pieces. He does. He's, Brendan. Sorry, I'm so sorry. Let me make my point. Go.

Let me make my point. Someone like that. He's super smart about it. Yeah. But what does that mean? The best. No, no. You never engage with him.

He only fucks mutes. No, you never engage with him. He has a team that approaches the girls. They sign a contract. That guy's 38. You go to his room and then it's just that's it the only thing you see is that big black dick okay so all right fine okay but that doesn't mean that those people won't talk eventually somebody will talk who's gonna believe him he controls the media

vibing all right he does lebron james controls the media. That would be amazing if he did. You never looked into this? No. His entire, oh my God, they'll lose a game and they'll post somebody else. It's never LeBron on the front. If they lose, it's never LeBron. Never, ever LeBron. Lakers will not post LeBron James and show his stats if they lose. It's a different player.

They want him to be a star. The whole narrative on him, they control everything. The money rides on it. It's all about the money. You follow the money, you follow the problem. Hey. I'm vibing. We'll say vibing, they control everything. It's all about the money. You follow the money, you follow the problem. Hey. I'm vibing. We'll say vibing, but also facts.

Speaking of money. LeBron and N. They just gave, the Dodgers just gave. Oh my God, bro. $700 million. He didn't even get it until 10 years. Well, he decided to defer it. So he gets $2 million a season.

At the end of his contract, he gets $680 million. So he's getting $2 million so they can build other players. The word is they're signing Mike Trout too next, who's my favorite. He is still playing? Yeah, at a high level. How old is Mike Trout? Not that old. Oh, you know what?

I'm thinking of Tim Salmon. I don't know how they have that amount of money. Wow. Oh, my bad. I'm thinking of Ozzie Newsome. Fish guys. They're fish guys. Trout and Salmon, dude. Oh, okay. I swear to God. Okay, my bad. I'm thinking of Ozzie Newsome. Fish guys. They're fish guys. Trout and Salmon, dude.

Oh, okay. I swear to God. Okay, now that makes sense. But how old is Mike Trout? Not old and he's a fucking baller. He's probably 30. Oh, really? Super baller.

He's been playing a while since he was really young. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how they had this money because who watches baseball? Like, honestly. Dude, that's what I said. No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Chris, that's what I said. No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Chris, let me go first.

Okay. This Asian player, Otani, is arguably the greatest baseball player ever. There you go. He's a pitcher, right? And a hitter. And hitting things. No one goes to the Angels game. Well, hold on.

No, hold on. It would be like if LeBon and kobe were on the same team and no one was in the stands yeah but here's the thing they don't call us trash it's not though no no it's doing so much baseball but i do like how you're being no i don't he's vibing right now because otani on the road sells out everywhere everywhere any angel game on the road sells out everywhere. Everywhere. Any Angel game on the road, they have higher attendance. Because all the Asians come out for Asian players. There's not many Asians, though. You vibing?

They'll make their $700 million just off merch alone. Last season in the playoffs. They were playoff games with empty seats. Brandon, just fucking merch alone. Last season. And also, he's got so many endorsements. You know how many chopsticks there's going to sell? Playoff games with empty seats.

Brandon, just fucking lowball and racist. Just such low fruit. You know how many chopsticks they'll sell? Instead of those tiny bats,

it's big chopsticks. So many racists here. You fucking racist assholes. Yeah, you racist assholes. Dude, it would be awesome. The parking lot would probably be a mess. You know what I mean?

Oh, my God. I'm not a part of this. We've got to... We have to start the game later. We have to start the game later. What? We've got to start the game later. We have to start the game later. What?

There's a 250 car pileup. They're all civic-ass eyes. At date C. But they sound good. The exhaust sounds good. Well, that's like remembering the... I don't know, man. They get in quick, though.

They're real good close together. They get in quick. though. They're real good close together. They get in quick. It's the car. It's like, oh, shit. I don't know, man. They'll make $700 just off merch alone. Well, the Dodgers are different in terms of like, but there's like, they're already building a stadium in Las Vegas to get a Las Vegas team there.

But it's going to be like an 18,000-seater. Because they know people aren't buying baseball tickets like that. Well, man, when I was in Vegas. The Dodgers are different. I get the Dodgers. Dodgers, Yankees, Atlanta, the Chicago Cubs. They're sold out years ahead. The Cubs are massive.

They're hardcore teams. That's NBA, too. That's the NFL, too. The NFL, go to go to fucking you know some of these games are terrible he's making two dollars and 39 cents a second that's incredible bro dude that is you wanna hear something i love these kinds of breakdowns that's so funny you want to break down you hear something crazy mich I love these kinds of breakdowns. That's so funny. You want a breakdown? You want to hear something crazy? Michael Jordan makes $6 million a day. Off the Jordan Brown. $6 million a day. The brand makes it, yeah.

He owns the brand. No, I understand that, but I can't. God, that's so crazy. Well, he's in business with Nike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder what I make a second. Not even close to that, huh? $5.5 million daily. $5.5 make a second. Not even close to that. 5.5 million daily. 5.5 million a day.

I said six. My bad. No, no, no, no, no, no. Fuck y'all. No, no, no, no. I was fucking close. 5.5 million a day. I mean, at a certain point.

He's Michael Jordan. That's a lot of money, right? Like, what do you mean? His airness, they called him. That's so dumb. That's how I talk to him. Hello, his airness. I just... So Otani's contract is almost double what

LeBron's is. How crazy is that? Well, the thing is about the two million dollars a year is crazy. Honestly, that's not that much money like but you know why they're doing it yes i get it to build a team yes i know that i get that and that's why he's a team player that's a fucking idiot there's no salary cap i actually don't know

why they're doing that it's crazy that he did it because there's no there's no interest so it's like i know it is weird but but he's a billionaire yeah he makes money off so big endorsements yeah it doesn't matter dude yeah but but they can just put that money. You really do. I don't know his name, but I know what I'm talking about. In 10 years, they could just. Oh, tiny Shoshani, but yeah. My son calls him Shoshushi.

All they got to do is put like $250 million in some sort of annuity account. And in 10 years, they'll have the $600 million to pay him. Right. Well, Bobby Bonilla is still getting paid, right? There you go. It's hilarious. From the Nets. You know about that?

Yeah, he gets a million dollars every January. You don't give me that because I know. Yeah. It's a deep cut by Chris. He's still getting paid, dude. Bobby Bonilla made a deal. The Mets are all, fuck. Yep, I know.

Actually, Allen Iverson. Allen Iverson. Still gets paid from Reebok. No, but he's about to get a big thing. Oh, yeah, I heard about this his buddy did this for him his money guy set this thing up for him

there you go you know every July 1st till 2035 he gets one point basically two million dollars that is so

dope awful deal what? awful deal why? for the Mets oh for the Mets Mets are like, God damn it.

Who made this deal? Well, yeah. It's weird to pay a guy so long after he's been playing. You think he's just bad with money every January 20th? He's like, come on, baby. Come on. I mean, I would be an idiot because I would know it's coming no matter what. So I'd be like, I'll just get it.

Yeah, but that's probably what like malcolm jamal warner and all those cosby people were doing yeah every year off the residuals oh my god bro imagine you're like you you're buying a house you know and then you're like what and then it just stops it just stops that's weird that must suck the amount of money that that friends caskets every january well it was the same i had the same car guys well matthew perry doesn't get it anymore oh my gosh too soon oh man i just speak facts though dude i love matthew perry obviously r.i.p just a joke but yeah that sucks yeah that 70s show they did 200 episodes they were making millions and. And that's not on the air anymore?

I don't think that's on the air anymore. Wow. They lost a lot of money. Is it because Homeboy's stuff, they took it off? Yeah. People don't like that. I feel like the Cosby show is still on, though. No?

It's not. Really? Wow. Who's going to watch that? I don't know. People still watch Friends and Seinfeld. Until, that's why Seinfeld had, what's his name on the Letterman show?

Like he probably, cause they just bought those DVDs. Michael Richards. Michael Richards, yeah. You know Seinfeld was calling to say, hey, hey, hey, yeah, we're going on and you're gonna apologize. Oh, 100%. That was the weirdest apology ever.

You're not messing with my money. Yeah. One more. Well, Seinfeld owns all of it. So when Netflix bought it, they had to buy it from Seinfeld and Larry David. Really? Because they just rented it to them. For what it was, 100 mil, they just rented it to them.

The fucking money, bro. The fucking money. You follow the money, you get the truth. You follow the money, you find the problem. There you go. What's up, guys? Got a sour or power for you. Patrick from Charlotte.

Starting a business with your high school best friend. Doing a classic car restoration business. Oh. There's one there. Got a Chevy truck. My best friend Austin. So yeah, just a sour or Power starting a business with your friend. Also, go to ChrisD'Eliot.com for this sweet sweatshirt and tour dates.

That's right. I'll be in Oxnard, by the way, tomorrow. Get his dick out of here. I'll be in Oxnard tomorrow. Oxnard. Let's do it, baby. Oxnard, California. Look at them Kelly dudes.

Guys, 29th and 30th, Quesada. That's not a place. Comedy Cantina. That's not a place. At the casino in New Mexico. Quesada. You know, come and join me. Come and join me.

Join it. Come and join me. You'll see me in Phoenix and Sacramento. Hey, I'm doing my date. And go see Eric at Quesada. And La Jolla Comedy Store the January, first weekend in January. Those are my last dates until I have this baby. Because the baby's coming.

Oh, cool, cool. I'm in Austin end of January in Nashville. Wow, we totally just this guy fucking with his question. No, but his question about doing with a buddy. Hey, hold on. We did that. We got our buddies and we made a fucking business. Yeah, we did.

For an hour. So we got nothing to do with it. And Nick's the guy with the fucking. Nothing but love. With the drill we did that that's good yeah i think that's cool well i mean look especially if you know each other you can get a little dicey up front about money as long as you know right away like this is how much tell me to get this how much you're gonna get yeah that's that's where it gets dicey yeah

you gotta know up front what the fucking deal is you're close boys like we've had talks where it gets dicey. Yeah, you got to know up front what the fucking deal is. But if you're close boys, like we've had talks where it's like, hey, this is what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. As long as it's all like, you know, out in the open and somebody doesn't feel slighted. It's a weird question because it only is weird if he said, my best friend who just got out. Or my best friend who- Just got out? A prisoner or something.

Oh, is that what he said? No, but I'm saying that's why this is a weird question. It's like, there's no problem with getting into business. Yeah business sometimes there are because it can affect but we need information my best friend who just got out from grand theft auto we're opening up a car parts shop this is a bad idea right yeah no but it can be dicey if your friends in a business because it's stressful especially with the grinding of course it can affect the relationship so that's probably why he's asking if it's stressful, especially with the grinding. Of course. It can affect the relationship. So that's probably why he's asking if it's a good or bad idea. It's even worse with family. This used to be a whole different podcast.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, no. It's a different podcast, and now it's a different podcast. Yeah, I only work with my friends. This is my social hour. I don't hang out after.

I don't go to bars. I don't chill. Well, that's a weird thing. It's like, you know, we see each other at clubs or we'll see each other here. And we text. And beyond that, unless there's like some kind of a party, birthday party or something. Yeah, one of your weird parties you guys have. Yeah, but we don't really.

No, this is it. This is where we chill. Yo, it would be so weird if I texted, want to get lunch on like a Saturday? I'd be like, oh, what happened? Who died? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We did that, right? Yeah, Eric and I maybe did it.

It was our wives, though. Yeah. I would send you that. You want to get lunch? What happened? God, that's funny, dude. Because if your friend texts you, you want lunch, I'm like, oh, what's he need?

Money? We're breaking up. Yeah, what are we doing? Somebody died. You fucked my girl. What do you want, lunch? No'm like, oh, what's he need? Money? We're breaking up. Yeah, what are we doing? Somebody died. You fucked my girl. What do you want? Lunch? No, but I think that-

It's a nice place. By the way, since I'm getting into the parent game, I feel like there should be some Saturday afternoons. Yeah. When you have kids, it's different. Kids running around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be-

Why aren't we doing that? The only friends I have now outside the comics and people I work with is the dad's group at my son's baseball game. Right, right, right. We just chill in the right field. This dad gets a cooler. That's what happens. My dad got a grill. But that's what happens, right?

We're dadding hard, dude. But in the same – they got to be somewhat in the same age groups too because I feel like if you're in the diaper crew – Right. Oh, it has to be same age group. You don't want to be hanging out with people who are – It has to be same age group. And when their kid strikes out, everyone's all, it's all right. We'll get an X on.

Who's that? If one of the kids strike out, you just got to be like, oh, that's all right. He'll get an X on. Your kids? Never mind. No, I'm saying – Oh, my God.

Hey, come on. Come on. I don't know what that's like. He's got a thousand percent batting average. No, he strikes out. And I hit him. No. That's how it what that's like. He's got a thousand percent batting average. No, he strikes up. And I hit him. No. That's how it learns.

Bless you. Bless you. COVID. I've never heard you sneeze. Yeah, that was crazy. He looks like a powerful sneezer, though. That's a crazy sneeze. I never heard you sneeze.

I was like, oh, I can't do it. That's some torque. Yeah. You sneeze like a diesel engine. Put that in my chest. You hurt yourself there or what? Yeah, I did. Yeah. Is that it, Nicholas? That's it. All sneezed like a diesel engine. Put that in my chest. You hurt yourself there or what? Yeah, I did. Is that it, Nicholas?

That's it. All right, kids. Love you. Thanks, guys. Hold on to your jingle bells. Pluto TV has all your holiday favorites for free. Enjoy Christmas classics like Scrooge with Bill Murray or Last Holiday with Queen Latifah. Plus, dive into festive channels like Holiday Movie Favorites by Lifetime

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