The Golden Hour - Top G Moves | The Golden Hour #47 w/ Brendan Schaub & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

The guys talk about Chris no longer sunning his butt, Brendan's irrational truck obsession, the Drake and Halle Berry beef, Mexican aliens, Halloween costume ideas, scary movies, their most valued technological device and much more! BiOptimizers - https://magbreakthrough.com/golden and use promo code GOLDEN DraftKings - Download the Draftkings Sportsbook App NOW and use code: Golden Get two extra episodes every month at https://Patreon.com/TheGoldenHourPodcast

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour

It's the Golden Hour Nothing wrong with rap 4 As Kanye said Do you think I'd do all the shit to push rap 4? Oh yeah I think that I think he said that Somebody did, I know that

Was it Jay? No, it's Kanye I think it might be think you said that. Somebody did. I know that. Was it Jay? No, it's Kanye. I think it might be Kanye. He was talking shit. Yeah. And I'm also talking shit. Yeah, but... RAV4s are terrible.

They look terrible. Horrible car. Yeah. Yeah. That bitch would go, though, for 500,000 miles. No problems. But you're in a RAV4. Yeah, when I was 27, I dated a... No, I4 yeah when i was 27 i dated a she no i was 21 she was 27

uh we we were together for a few years she did she drove a rav4 and then she sold it kill your boner no she loved it i liked how she loved it she was like dude it's a great car i don't care it's awesome so that was cool i think the hottest chicks drive jeeps. If I see a Jeep and the window's down, top's off, I'm like, you know that's a bad munch. You got all caught up in the sauce, dude. You're a cuda. You think? Yeah, that's some. No, if you see a Jeep lifted and there's a tank top, I'm like, she's going to have some heavies.

Yeah, you put the same girl in another car. Nah. You drive by her, bro. Nah. That's Tesla or Jeeps, bro. White Tesla or Jeeps? White tesla or jeeps white teslas dude really my winner goes boy what dude teslas i i don't like teslas no they're for stupid no i i know you don't like them but i'm just saying like i i just i bought a trx to run over tesla wait so wait that trx that you have oh yeah is it it's not for you didn't you

already have one no i had a raptor years ago so many issues so that one's new this is new yeah okay this is a dot this is a ram ram truck i saw it outside yeah you saw it no you saw it can't miss it you saw it it's tan and it's really big it's big yeah so um do you think that you should call it Chris D'Elia's penis? Because it's tan and big? Really big, yeah. And it's loud. Dude, I sometimes just tan my penis. I just go out.

I leave it out. I'm inside, and I just put it outside. Like a bearded dragon? But you still tan your asshole, remember? That was your thing for a while? No, I did that for a bit. It's nice, though. Then why'd you stop doing it if you got a lot of... Because I moved, and then I just... You don't have the sun? No, I just... for a bit. It's nice, though. Then why'd you stop doing it if you got a lot of...

Because I moved, and then I just... You don't have the son? No, I just... I don't know. You just forget stuff when you move, you know? Yeah, it gets out of your routine. When you move, it gets out of your routine, and then I wasn't son of my bumhole anymore.

And then was your wife like, babe, I thought we were going to put our assholes in there? Yeah, well, she never did it, but I think that when women do it, it's different because they can't really do it without getting their... Undercarriage, yeah. Their pussy, too. Yeah, it's disgusting. And I don't do it it's different because they got they can't really do it without getting their undercarriage yeah their pussy too yeah it's disgusting but um and i don't know if that's good or not so you got a uh rat uh what that was the raptor i got a trx are you stuck in the comedy store parking lot yep i remember that this one's way bigger right

or it's no it's not that to be fair and i like raptors listen it's like Yankees, Red Sox. I don't care. Right, right, right. Either Team TRX or Team Raptor. That Raptor, to be fair, it came pre-modded, so it had carbon fiber all over it. It was lifted. It had this Baja suspension. It had so many issues. The engine was tuned. It had so many issues. They just tuned it wrong, so I got rid of it.

And I couldn't drive it anymore. So why'd you get this one? Because I like freedom. That's not really an answer, though, is it? Because I'm American, cold-blooded American. Okay, that's fine, but why? I got that one because there's a Hellcat engine. There's so many possibilities.

Okay. So Daddy, by next Thursday, is going to be at over 1,000 horsepower. Right, I know. I saw that. Race me in your Ferrari. Hey, race me in your Ferrari. Well, but the fact that that has 1,000 horsepower, saw that race me in your ferrari hey race me in your phone but you're you're thinking you're but the fact that that has a thousand horsepower because it's a big car so it may not go that

fast oh no i'll beat you yeah that's what i'm here for i don't know if that i'm like vin diesel i live my life one quarter mile at a time that's fine but that means you're probably gonna either like die soon or run out of money you know what i mean fair point yeah yeah fair point or both you could all get run out of money the goal is to run out of money right before you die yeah that's the move you know yeah anyway but you're not a car guy you don't tune any of your stuff i mean you got a exhaust on your i don't tune it i don't i don't i'm just i get the car and then i'm driving and i'm good you beta dude you beta that's fine that's fine beta then i'm a beta you just take what they give you huh this outfit shit you got your of is a little bit for the birds.

Your outfit is for the birds? No, the alpha shit is a little bit for the birds. That's because you're beta, though. Fine. I'm a beta. Fuck me in the butt, dude. I don't care. Anymore, dude.

It's so hard to live this alpha lifestyle. Dude, I'm a beta. Just fucking jerk off on my face, man. I don't care. I don't even care anymore i'll do like hallie berry on that drake cover bro wait so she's mad oh this is what the fuck is this dude that is that that is an accident that i brought that out but that's cool though that's a real uh grocery tobacco lottery beverages fashion the one thing about that place the golden hour thing

whatever that is is that asians own that there's no doubt i don't but fashion grocery is first tobacco lottery beverages fashion is last dude i can get tobacco and fashion and also define like can i get jeans from this fucking place you if they know fashion i can get a big gulp and some freaking affliction jeans if they know fashion either way uh it's good that nick brought it up for no reason you know when you did Beta, that color is... I like my colors. Canary color, right? Yeah, I'm a canary dude today. I'm a fucking canary dude.

I bet canaries are pretty gangster if you think about them. Nah, they're the... Yeah, that's what you think. They're the cucks of the world, man. That's what you think, first of all. But then it's like, those yellow diamonds are sweet, dude. You know what I mean? No, bro, the pigeons are gangster.

Yeah, that's true. Pigeons are gangster. But pigeons, people think pigeons aren't real. People think pigeons are AI and robots and shit. Yeah, those people are right. But crows, crows are gangster too. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I like the movie The Crow.

I like the movie The Crow. We have no Eric here because he's doing some sort of- Eric passed away. Cuck ass, what is he doing even, a show? I don't even know. He's doing some movie. Some movie? But here'sass what is he doing even a show I don't even know he's doing some movie but here's my thing is it there a strike right now oh yeah Bill Maher and Drew Barry they're like we're continuing

forward with our show and they got all this backlash Eric's basically the Drew Barrymore and Bill Maher of podcasting acting I don't understand what there's a strike but also so many of my friends are working. Here's the deal. So many different levels of corruption. If you're going to have a strike, have a strike.

Don't be working. But a lot of my friends are working because they got a waiver. But it's like, what the fuck does that mean, dude? There's still a strike going on. So you care, but you don't really care. Which, by the way, here's the deal. If I was still doing movies and all that stuff, I would definitely be like not striking on the front line. I don't care about holding a sign. If I'm The doing movies and all that stuff, I would definitely be not striking on the front line.

I don't care about holding a sign. If I'm The Rock? Yeah. I'm not striking. Yeah, just wait. I would just be like, whenever this is over, I'll either work or whatever. But I get it.

But some people, they have to pay their bill. They keep the lights on. Of course, which is why I understand why Drew Barrymore wanted to do it. No, she has enough money. She does, but her people who are working. Oh, the staff. That's the thing. But the She does, but her people who are working. Oh, the staff. That's the thing. But the thing is, if you go continue to work through the strike,

then you're actually doing more damage to the original goal. Of course, yeah. So it's so stupid. Right. She didn't expect that. She was also an ET. But she also has been famous since she was five. So she doesn't really know really the whole deal

because she's lived famously the whole time. It says Drew Barrymore apologized to striking Hollywood writers ahead of her show's return. Barrymore has been subject to protests by WGA members who argue that she's violating terms of their work stoppage by filming new episodes of the Drew Barrymore show. And I'm a fan of that show. You are?

Dude, I don't miss it. It's terrible. I'm glad she's fighting. I mean, it's so terrible. It's probably better without writers, honestly. So what I think is, though, that you – what was I going to say? You got a strike, right? Well, the other guys, like Jimmy Fallon and – They're podcasting.

Yeah, and they're using some of that money to pay their staff and all that, which is cool. But also they have enough money to just pay them, though, right? Likemy kimmel they make like 50 million dollars a year just pay them right what i don't understand about that is yeah is is how much do they make and how much do they need to pay to help people but also that looks like a terrible podcast let's see who's in it white zone they're all the same guy honestly they're all the same guy i never realized that strike force five it's called five people on a podcast i i don't know these i only know jimmy fallon and uh seth they're they're they're really good jimmy fallon and hill seth oh and seth myers

and then you got homeboy from hbo who's British but speaks on American politics. Right. And then you have the guy from The Daily Show, who's a complete left cuck. And then you have Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. Right. Well, Jimmy Kimmel's liberal, right? What I don't understand is they get so liberal, but these guys, Jimmy Kimmel made his, he- He used to be, he was the original blackface.

He did Carmelone. But also he had the man show. We would be like, hey, let's see what's up with tits this week. But he made a deal with the devil because now he's a voice for the left. So he's like, God, I got to do this to get the paycheck. And then Trump being president, he had material every night. And then Trump doesn't stay president. He's gone now.

So he has nothing to talk about. But he still talks about Trump. So then the views are down like a mug. Oh, he does? Yeah. I don't know, really. I've never seen it, but he does talk about, I know he's liberal, but he's best friends with Adam Carolla. But Adam Carolla's great, though.

Yeah, but he's like, Adam Carolla stormed the Capitol on his Tesla. Right, right, right, right. So it's weird. He can be friends. Like, we hadmy like we had ron perlman on firing the kid and i didn't know this he's like super left i didn't i had no clue until i posted people i can't believe he had this guy i'm like oh you think we brought him on to talk about his politics he's hellboy bitches we're talking about sons of anarchy hellboy he talked about the strike winning in politics at all i can be friends with people who are wrong about politics. I don't give a fuck.

Just be nice to me, and then we're good. I didn't even tag him. I couldn't find his tag. Oh, it's because it's not his name. It says Pearl Mutations. He's a lot. Oh, yeah. He's a lot.

All I saw. He's also somewhat of a hypocrite. He does voiceovers for the UFC every time. He's the voice of the UFC. Yeah, he does those. The countdowns and all that. You can't scroll 10 tweets without him talking about Trump someplace. I don't know if he's hiring somebody to write that.

I didn't get those vibes at all. I vibed with the dude, and usually I don't. If they're woke left, we usually butt heads. But you didn't even know. You had a whole conversation. You didn't even know. Yeah, there's no politics in the conversation there's no politics we talk about hell boy and fucking sons of anarchy baby that's cool yeah all i know is that brian made it real boring but it was fun yeah well brian's boring so but he went but they

went he was getting mad at um elon musk no well i don. Okay. I didn't know that. But he was getting mad at the guy at. I need magic mind, dude. I need my magic mind. It's right behind you. I'm losing my mind. Give me one, too. Your brain foggy. Very old, though, right?

I don't think they expire. I think they're fine. Oh, he wants one? There's one more, right? Well, there's one more. But we have time. He got mad at. Oh, he wants one? There's one more, right? No, there's one more. But we have time. He got mad at... Oh, he yelled at...

He was on Instagram and was talking about the strike. And he was like, don't you fucking... He basically threatened. Hell yeah. Yeah. He's on a biker gang. Well, he's not, though. No, he is, though.

What do you mean, dude? He's on a biker gang. I was scared of him. Nah, dude. He's patched up, dude. I don't like when guys act like they're characters. But also a hell boy right here again um oh this is his apology with the uh announcement of the actors going out on strike uh this morning i took to instagram live these are all to give a background of my experience as a guild member and to give some of my reactions to the current events,

why we find ourselves in this situation, et cetera, et cetera. Looks like he's in a barber's chair. That's hilarious. And in the aftermath of that, there has been... No, no, no, but this is what he said after he's threatened people Yeah, no the so here's everybody who does something then they got it then I apologize as a boring video though Yeah, yeah, no he's riveting so Those are all motherfucker

Who said we're gonna keep this thing going until people start losing their house? Yeah, apartment so hardcore and then the white picket fence in the background So hardcore and then the white picket fence in the background Listen to me motherfucker There's a lot of ways to lose your house Some of it is financial Some of it is karma And some of it is just figuring out Who the fuck said that

And we know who said that And where he fucking lives There's a lot of ways to lose your house You wish that on people. You wish that families starve while you're making $27 fucking million a year for creating nothing. Be careful, motherfucker.

Be really careful. Dude, he's ahead of a biker gang. That's the kind of shit that stirs shit up. Peace out. He's ahead of a biker gang. That is hellboy. Don't do the shot with the white picket fence

in the background, you know? And then don't have the maid going, dinner time! You hear the maid in the back? I don't know what's up, man. Everybody's crazy. He has a right to be mad, but how crazy is that, though,

that one of the heads of Netflix was like, we're just going to hold out until they lose their house. It's fucked up. That's because they know that they can just use AI. Everyone's,

I'm telling you, I've been saying this, people think that they're going to come around. They're not, dude. They're not. This strike is fucked. They're fucked.

Everyone's fucked. Well, we don't want you fighting for us. You already gave up, dude. And your shirt says that. Fallon's going to just have the podcast now. They don't need it.

Oh, no, that podcast is going to eat shit. But there's no AI shit. It's going gonna be all ai shit from now on i've seen terminator let's take a little break dude from just chatting about all things cool and you got a canary looking shirt on we're back with another week of football my cu buffs are three and oh baby hell yeah we're playing ucla we got usc coming up it's it's gonna get tough but you can bet on my buffs's going to get tough. But you can bet on my Buffs. You can bet on my Broncos.

You can bet on the Jets. You can bet on the Packers. You can bet on the Steelers. You can bet on the Tempe Buccaneers. With DraftKings. New customers can bet $5 and get $200 instantly in bonus bets. Throw five down on any of this week's epic matchups to walk away an instant winner. And DraftKings isn't stopping there.

All customers can take advantage of two new offers every single game day this September. Football's more fun when you're in on the action, isn't it? So download the app now and sign up with code GOLDEN. New customers can bet just $5 and get $200 instantly in bonus bets. Only on DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL, with code GOLDEN.

The crown is yours. Gambling prom call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY. That's 467-369. In West Virginia, visit www.1800gambler.net in partnership with Hollywood Casino and Charlestown Races. All games regulated by West Virginia Lottery. Please play responsibly. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling.

Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino Resort Kansas, 21 or older in most eligible states, but age varies by jurisdiction. Seedraftkings.com sportsbook for details and state-specific responsible gaming resources. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. Eligibility and deposit restrictions apply. Dude, sometimes I'm lying awake at night for hours. I'm exhausted. I'm trying to fall asleep, dude, but I can't.

My mind's just wired. How about when you wake up exhausted and for me it ruins my productivity for the day well that's where enter by optimizers what you're talking about the magnesium breakthrough yeah that's what i'm talking about ever since i started adding magnesium breakthrough by by optimizers to my nightly routine i've been able to quiet my mind down and get legit quality sleep, dude. For me personally, Magnesium Breakthrough by Bioptimizers

has helped solve my sleep problems from winding down at the end of a stressful day, you know what I mean? Because sometimes you get in your head, you're like, oh, this is stressful, to toss around and turning and waking up groggy. Magnesium Breakthrough has been a game changer. Dude, it helps me fall asleep.

I stay asleep, and I wake up, and I go, oh, we ready. Yeah, it's just like- And then that song goes, we ready. Right, right, right. We ready. It's not like other magnesium supplements that might be giving you one to two forms of magnesium. Oh, no, no. Magnesium Breakthrough, this is the place, all right?

So don't miss out on the most relaxing sleep ever with Magnesium Breakthrough by Bioptimizers. So don't miss out on the most relaxing sleep ever with Magnesium Breakthrough by Bioptimizers. For an exclusive offer for our listeners, go to magbreakthrough.com slash golden and use promo code golden during checkout to save 10%. For an exclusive offer for our listeners, go to magbreakthrough.com slash golden. Do it now. Your body and your brain will thank you. Okay? Again, that's magbreakthrough.com slash golden and use promo code golden during checkout to save 10%.

Nurture your mind and body with this all-natural full-spectrum magnesium supplement. Simply go to magbreakthrough.com slash golden and use promo code golden during checkout to save 10%. Let's get back to the program. What's this guy? I love this submission.

Okay. Golden Hour crew, what's going on, guys? This is Austin out of Boise. Is that TRX? Coming at you with a debate club, I guess it would be. It's a question that I've asked friends many times. I always get some fun answers out of it, so I

figured I'd ask you guys. If you could see a stat sheet when you died about anything that you ever did what would you want to see oh is that fun so for example uh how many how many times did you take a dump how many gallons of whiskey did you drink brendan um how many people did you kill in a video game and make them rage out eric so just little stuff like that if you could know how many people did you kill in a video game and make them rage out, Eric? So just little stuff like that. If you could know how many times you did anything,

what would be some fun ones to find out? Would love to hear your guys' response to this. I think it's going to be hilarious. Yeah, let me know. That truck's popping, though. I'd like to know what was the ratio of me making people feel good versus me making people feel bad and what do you think that ratio is I think I made a lot more people feel good than bad

and I think that I would be like it would make me probably feel good I hope you got serious on him yeah I want gallons of milk I don't want that fucking dumb shit why would I care how much soy sauce I ate this question is for fucking if that's what you want what do you want how many nuts you busted that's maybe me yeah yeah how many nuts how many cheeseburgers i ate that'd be cool uh how many nicotine patches whiskey's a good

one these are not good ones how many times i said fuck on your deathbed like dude you said fuck seven million times and they go like this i go yeah no no you just go like this ah cool it doesn't matter you you do you think they're gonna show like they're like look how many people you may feel good yeah and then here's all the people may feel bad they want to have a conversation with you no but then i go like this that's gorgeous but do you think you're giving to heaven? I don't care. I'll be in. You can go to. It's fine.

Hell is. Dude, when I get in that mindset, I can work real hard, bro. Me too. I'll figure it out down there. Dude, when I work out, I'm basically in hell. But it feels good. So it's all good, man. Well, it's fucking.

We can turn the heat on. I love the heat. I've had my shit on 81 degrees in the hotel the other day. You put your asshole out there. And I fell asleep. I fell asleep. I woke up. 81 degrees was so fucking hot. I hate hate it hot nah dude nah it's so

it sucks cold bro what would you do though on your death like if you had a stat sheet um i'd like to know how many nuts i busted alone and then also with people that verse would be great. Oh, that'd be cool. Yep. Half and half, maybe? Nah, probably 70-30. Alone? Alone, 70-30. Yeah, 70-30. Yeah. You'd feel like a real loser if that's what that stat, and they're like, it's 95-5. No, it's probably 70-30, yeah.

75-5. That's probably most people, 95-5. People would be busting nuts all over the place without people. People would be busting nuts all over the place just by themselves and then are lucky to bust nuts with people. So 95, I would say it's probably more like 98.2. 98.2. Yeah. For people, you know?

Nick was like, it's more like 99.1. Yeah, I don't know. 99.1, yeah. But if you're a top G, dude. Is that a T-4? To entertain things? Yeah, yeah, top G. I like how you called me.

I feel good. Is top G like an ultimate alpha? Is that what that is? I think so, Top G. I like how you called me. I feel good. Is Top G like an ultimate alpha? Is that what that is? I think so, and you're busting. Yeah. Okay. I don't know what Top G is, but I know it's- Are we Top Gs?

I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. Look up Top G, dude. Yeah, is there a criteria to be a Top G? That's a really dumb title, Top G. Oh, it made me feel good when he said that, dude. You call me top G Well let me see what it is

A guy Oh Let's see Who is Feared and respected By all the world Top in English The word top in English

Refers to the highest In position rank or degree And G as a phrase Stands for gangster Okay this is like The definition for my dad Yeah exactly But that's the thing if g is i

need the criteria i'm pretty gangster we'll go all the way up go all the way up it says top g that's from urban dick the guy is crazy this guy is the individual that is capable in all realms a term created by a former chess grandmaster emory tate has unmatched oh that's his dad then right oh personal one this guy is crazy. He's rich, can fight. His driving skills are top notch, and his debating skills are out of this world. What can't he do? Person two. You're right.

He's truly a top G. Okay. I can't play chess. Dangerous at everything. My debating skills, depends what it is. So Liam Neeson always plays a top G. I have a particular set of skills. I'm a top G. And he can drive set of skills. I'm a top G.

And he can drive. And he's rich. He can debate. I don't know if I'm a top G anymore, man. I don't think I've ever been a top G. I'm just kind of beta with my yellow shirt. I'm going to be beta from now on, dude. We're lowercase G.

Nah. After beta, what's C? Seda? Cut. Okay, well. You're cut. All right. Well, that's really shitty. And we're? Seda? Cunt. Okay, well. You're a cunt. All right. Well, that's really shitty.

And we're not going to be able to put that in the episode, but you're a cunt. Well, you can bleep it out. You think I'm going to see you next Tuesday? Top cunt. All right. Well, okay. Yeah. I would like to see those two things.

How I make people feel good versus how I make people feel bad. And then also, how many nuts I bust solo and then with people. I mean women you don't say people because no man right i never busted about one one time with a dude i busted there was that winter that was weird it's a chart it's all pink there's one blue man no it was there was there was a girl it was to a girl but the dude was there you know oh eiffel tower yeah well no it wasn't like that he was walking in the room and i was like what the heck he was walking around like oh no yeah and he laughed dude it's top g the both of us were top g's right there i don't know man you never busted a nut with a dude in

the room oh no oh lies dude not only a dude in the room i'm saying women are there yeah i don't know man oh dude you got to get on that man i don't know bro come Yeah, I don't know, man. Oh, dude. You got to get on that, man. I don't know, bro. Come on, dude. I don't want to go to heaven then. Nah, I busted one nut one time with a dude in the room, and you're going to call me a beta dude? Not a top G, bro.

One time. We got to ask Andrew Tate. We should have Zoomed him in. Is that top G shit if you're busting nuts while your buddy's over your shoulder? He was in the room. He was. He was over my shoulder and was hilarious. And I go, no, come on, bro. Oh, shooting ropes. Yeah. No, he goes, he laughs. And I'm like, bro. And I started laughing.

But I was with, you know, she was awesome. Top G, dude. You think I give a fuck? That's gay if I was like, get out. Yeah, that'd be gay. I'm all concentrated on something else. I'm concentrated on the moment, dude. Check it out if I was like, get out. Yeah, that'd be gay. I'm all concentrated on something else. I'm concentrated on the moment, dude. Check it out, bro.

Sup, dude? Huh. Huh. Huh. Yeah. Anyway, dude, don't be like, you know. No, I'm cool, dude. It's cool, dude.

All right. I respect it, dude. What do you got, Nick? Did we see Representative Laurenuren bobert dude she you know she was jacking them off through his khakis yeah it was super hot she got my vote yeah isn't it everyone's like you believe this is ridiculous their first date i'm like i want to see what she looks like normally dude that's her first letters first date she's recently divorced real cougar out on the town is she hot pretty for for a politician

she's a tag but what about for regular let me see well you don't need to go to her instagram just google her right oh there we go go to the guy with the she has them government hitters dude bring it in my contacts are blurry zoom in oh she's hot yeah she's hot not even just for a congressman and you go to a broadway play beetlejuice and she's jack Yeah She's hot Not even just for a congressman Dude and you go to a Broadway play Beetlejuice And she's jacking you Through some dockers Yeah dude

Hot That's crazy man Yeah bro That's top G She got kicked Yeah she's a top She's a female top G Top G

Dude I think She got kicked out for vaping I know vaping Recording herself Singing I mean she was being a real asshole She got kicked out for jacking the guy out No no no

Honestly the jacking Is definitely The least bad part Of what she was being a real asshole. She got kicked out for jacking the guy out. No, no, no. Honestly, the jacking is definitely the least bad part of what she was doing in that she was in a play recording herself. We get Nick shooting a shot. You don't have to apologize. The video was super hot. Three days ago. And it was before she turned off comments, but I made

it in under the water. Oh, nice. You made it in. You don't have to apologize. The video was super hot, he says. The grainy-ass video, nice. You made it in. You don't have to apologize. The video was super hot, he says. The grainy-ass video, dude. That made it hotter. Nick, yeah, dude. Nick busted a nut solo on that for sure. With a guy in the room. Top G.

Yeah, Top G. Top G. And she broke up with the dude, too. So she says. She's like, there won't be a second date. He's a Democrat. Because evidently, he owns a bar that hosts drag shows. Drag shows, yeah.

And that was one thing she really would complain against about. How old is she? She's aggressive. So hold on. She was. I don't. Honestly, fooling around in a play theater, whatever, is one thing. She should have been kicked out for recording the play and also singing and taking selfies and vaping the jacking

off you don't even notice unless you're like right next to him yeah but the vaping is like plumes of smoke everywhere and a pregnant lady's in a pregnant lady's behind her vaping and pregnant that's her jack that's her jacking him chin how do you see like the boob touch oh yeah he's letting them all out. Yeah. He's having a fucking good time. Yeah, dude. This is a good first date. You probably getting all hard and shit.

Oh, he is rock hard, dude. Dude, I've been saying Beetlejuice. He's in Beetlejuice, just not paying attention to the play at all, dude. Oh, look at that guy, man. He's all like, oh, come on, dude. Yeah. He's like, you know what he's thinking, dude? He's like, oh, Beetlejuice is awesome, man.

Oh, hell yeah. Oh, his Beetlejuice is fucking awesome, man. Let, hell yeah. Oh, his bilge is fucking awesome, man. Let's get out of here. Yeah, yeah. Let's get out and ditch this shit. Look at our jacking, dude. Say his name three times. Say his name three times.

Bilge is bilge is bilge is. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. I bet that fucking is cool, man, to be like that. I bet that was a fun day. I got to go to see cats with my wife and do that. Oh, a jellicle cat. Oh, a jellicle cat or whatever the fuck that is. I bet he busted so hard when they got home do that. Augellical, Augellical cat, Augellical cat,

or whatever the fuck that is. I bet he busted so hard when they got home, dude. Yeah, man, you think so? This is a good podcast. There was a whole, there was a whole South Park episode about bringing your woman to musicals,

because then you get a BJ. Oh yeah, that one was funny, dude. That one was funny. I remember that one. I didn't see that one. Yeah,

I don't think that, I think that – I don't know, man. I mean, remember Pee Wee got in trouble for that, like jacking off? No, hold on. Let me defend Pee Wee here for a second. Big Top Pee Wee got in trouble. It was so stupid. He was the first one to get canceled because he was at a XXX movie theater jacking off. That's why he'd go.

And then someone's like Oh that's Pee Wee Herman And then they out him And they're like Well he's around kids And so he loses his whole gig Oh Did he actually lose his gig?

Oh yeah Oh I didn't know that You got fucked man Oh dude He was jacking off At a Triple X thing In decent exposure At a Florida Pornhouse

Florida Pornhouse That's crazy dude And he was jacking off And then people were like That's Pee Wee And he was like Ha ha. And then people were like, that's Pee-wee. And he was like, ha-ha. And then he got fucking. He's like, word of the day.

Yeah. Did you guys see the Mexican alien unboxing? Man, I said this on congratulations. I don't even get it. This is so fucking. This guy brought dolls. You see this? I saw it.

I think it was like back in the day. It was like my pet monster tickled me Elmo. Yeah. And it just died or whatever. It tickled me wands. Yeah. Tickle me tamales. So.

I'll translate. This is right here. We have two aliens. Pretty sure if you turn them around you pull the string. Hey, Mexico, do better. No one's buying this shit.

This Mexico is just trying to get some clout right now. Aliens are so hot right now. I know, but that's the thing. They're saying that this set the people who believe in aliens back. Yeah, because that's the thing They're saying that this set The people who believe in aliens Back Yeah Because that's A fucking dog

It's made out of wood You know Nah I swear It's so stupid And you can't tell what anything is But the face It's an alien for real though I swear dog

Swear dog It's an alien dog You should though. I swear, dog. Swear, dog. It's alien, dog. You should have seen it when it was alive, probably. Did you see the video of them dissecting it? No. What's in it? It was a cake.

Is it cake? Is it on it? Is it cake? Oh, my. Oh, come on, dude. Is this real? No, someone made it. Oh, wow. Someone made a cake.

But it went crazy viral. That's funny. That's funny. They made that shit quick. It looks tasty. Oh, wow. But it went crazy viral. That's funny. That's funny. They made that shit quick. It looks tasty. I'm hungry. I'm hungry, too, for that. Dude, I ate ice cream twice.

I ate ice cream last night and the night before. What kind of ice cream? Oh, my God, bro. You want to get into it? All right. So check this out. This is what I like when podcasts are about, man. You want to get into it?

All right. So check this out. This is what I like when podcasts are about, man. So, dude, I ate fucking snickerdoodle ice cream from Salt and Straw, dude. My fave, dude. Salt and Straw is the best. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

I love it. It's not my favorite. Afters? Have you had afters? No. Jenny's? No. Oh, you like that cuck shit, Ben and Jerry's?

Yeah, I do. That's for Cucks. It's not. Yeah, they steal the land from Indians, and then they make ice cream. They steal the land from Indians? Yep. And then they demand white people pay the bill. Really?

That's why I don't wear my chunky donkeys anymore. Two Cucks run that company. Seriously? Yep, look it up. They're fat as shit, huh? They're fat? You ever see those guys? It's so weird.

You would think they'd be fatter. Oh, really? I thought they were fat. No see those guys it's so you would think they'd be fatter oh really i thought they were fat no no you're thinking of jerry garcia so stolen native american land everyone so stolen indigenous but just make ice cream though right guys well what the fuck are they doing they're stealing the land and making ice cream with it but then they're demanding that other people pay native americans back but then why their land is also on stolen property it makes no sense oh israel and palestine dude the chunky monkey maker which briefly can i just eat ice cream without thinking about palestine that's why you don't eat that's why you don't eat ben and jerry's god damn eat this shit and i'm thinking of the war in in you know

what ben and jerry's is and is? The Kaza chocolate strip Yeah Is that one? That's really good Ben & Jerry's and Klondike bars Are the Tesla and Toyota of car Of ice cream Ben & Jerry's is good as fuck dude That's for bitches

Wait no wait hold on What's the one I eat? It's for sheep No I don't eat that one Oh the one I eat is Haagen Dazs I don't give a fuck bro Do you eat Kraft macaroni and cheese too? Nah

You cunt If I ate macaroni and cheese That's what I would eat though dude I don't eat a fuck, bro. Do you eat Kraft macaroni and cheese, too? Nah. You cunt. If I ate macaroni and cheese, that's what I would eat, though, dude. I don't eat macaroni and cheese, man. I'm healthy except for the ice cream. I eat snickerdoodle shit from... You work too hard to eat that bullshit ice cream. I ate it two different nights, dude. I still am lean as shit.

I look good, man. Have you seen my body recently? It looks fucking way better than it did four months ago. Dude, I fucking... Yeah, man. I'm getting all tatted up bro you got no i got no right there you got no out there dude i'm gonna be so jacked i swear to god i'm gonna be 50. dude when i'm 50 in a bunch of years it's not even close but in a bunch of years dude i'm gonna be so jacked i'm gonna be doing calisthenics yeah dude i'm gonna be doing those fucking those leveled out with the feet out fucking chin-ups it's on dude i swear to god and i'm not i'm not joking dude

do you think your legs get bigger i want them to bro but it's tough right it's like water in a plant it's yeah it's oh speaking of small legs what's up with this dude speaking of legs i thought that was chris it does look like me, huh? I would do that much better. What a golden hour. I know this cat. This is Noah from Nashville, and I have a sour or power for you. He cut his hair. My sour or power is wearing shorts in the winter.

I know winter is upon us. Not out here. For me, growing up as a kid, we were kind of poor, so I would wear shorts in the winter and would tell people it's a power move because it's like, look at me, I'm tough. I can be cold. But secretly, it's kind of sour because I was very cold and I just didn't have pants. What do you guys think? Did you guys used to do that?

I'm still a shorts guy. Love you, boys. Have a good one. Bye. He's cool. I'm still a shorts guy. Love you boys. Have a good one. Bye. He's cool. I know that cat. No shorts in the winter. I grew up in Colorado. It wasn't even an option. No, no, no. Unless you just got bad pants. I'll tell you what.

Almost no shorts, period, unless it's really fucking hot. I agree. It's rare you see me in shorts. Unless I'm on my bike. If I'm on my bike, I have shorts on. On my workout days, I wear shorts, bro. You don't wear pants

to work out, do you? I have sweats, yeah. I don't understand when people do that. It gets so hot. I keep my legs warm, bro. But they're not warm. They're fucking blazing hot.

Nah, I don't get that hot. So you wear pants when you work out. What about when that gets all sweaty? Not if I'm running. I'm just doing upper body. I'm in sweats.

Really? Lower body, I'll get it out. Okay, so if you do deadlifts, no sweats. Very rare, yeah. Yeah, okay. All right, dude. Dude, growing up in Colorado, I used to rock a turtleneck and jeans sometimes, like The Rock. That's cool.

Yeah, dude. Turtlenecks are cool. They're not, though. They're cool. They're not, unless you're Steve Jobs. Don't wear them. No, they're okay. Women think they're very sexy, especially on me, dude.

When I wear them, women really like it. You must look insane in a turtleneck. Oh, I have a turtleneck, and I wore it sometimes. You don't wear it on stage. No, bro. That would be so funny. I wore a turtleneck. I have an episode of Congratulations called the Turtleneck Episode, and I wore a turtleneck I have an episode Of congratulations

Called the turtleneck episode And I wore a turtleneck And dude I put it on And man I look pretty fucking good They're uncomfortable man Dude our boy Ben Is actually fighting this weekend

Ben Davis with a turtleneck Yeah a double turtleneck He's fighting with a turtleneck on Does he fight with a turtleneck on I hope so I guarantee he walks out To the ring with a turtleneck on Why does he always wear

A turtleneck or what Yeah He did a fight campaign He's like It's fucking hot out here man I'm like you're in a fucking turtleneck on. Why, does he always wear a turtleneck or what? Yeah, that's his thing. He did a fight campaign. He's like, that's fucking hot out here, man. I'm like, you're in a fucking turtleneck. He's like, you're right. Takes off, had another one on. I was like, oh.

I go, you wore turtlenecks? He goes, yeah. Who's this dude? His name is Ben Davis. Ben Davis. He's fucking killing it. He's cool. He's funny.

Yeah, he's a good dude. He's just like a Twitter guy who loves MMA. He's great at memes. He goes viral constantly. He just keeps getting in influencer boxing matches. Yeah. He's financing Silva's son. He fights.

Got it. He tries. No, he covers MMA. He does a lot of the regional commentary. But he also gets in. He does the fights. Yeah, he's down to do jiu-jitsu. He has one coming up.

He did a grappling match against the CEO of, I think it's like Steve's. And he's a black belt and got tapped out in like 30 seconds. Really? He broke his foot. Ben is not a black belt. he's a white belt oh he's down to do it though he's down to do it which is cool he has balls black belt like 15. yeah i respect him at least he's getting in there but he broke his foot yeah anymore turtlenecks this dude's hilarious he's funny he's great drink just drinks beers built like a lunch lady has love handles and before fight companion he came he drove to drove to Arizona just to do my stream

that like 30 people watch as like a bit and we drank for like 12 hours and watch like 10 hours a year he's a good dude how old is he he just got he just graduated from Arizona State okay he's like 24 20 yeah works at the Comedy Club in Arizona oh yeah he worked at uh what it, Brunson's Comedy Club out there. Yeah, Rick Brunson. Yeah. How's the comedy? I don't know.

I mostly know theaters. Where were you this weekend? I was in Edmonton. Was it cold as shit? It wasn't so cold, no. Edmonton and then I was in Calgary. I love Calgary. Yeah, Calgary's great. Edmonton is crazy weird. I'm in Edmonton, I think in Calgary. I love Calgary. Yeah, Calgary's great.

Edmonton is crazy weird. I'm in Edmonton, I think, in February. It's going to be so cold. I didn't even think about it. They asked me to do it, and I was like, yeah, no problem. And I was like, yeah, just February. I don't really care about that shit. It's just cold.

You're barely outside ever. You just stay inside, you know? It's the travel, though. Yeah, I know. That's just hilarious. Boozy Badass goes after Waffle House worker, refuses to cook potato. Goes off after Waffle House worker, refuses to cook potato.

There's some mental health with him, right? Yeah, definitely. He's going after Sanders on CU, saying he hope he gets hurt. He doesn't like how much. Well, definitely don't. He a bad guy, huh? Bring a potato to a place and be like,

yo, cook it. It's not wine, you know? Is there a quirky thing? potato to a place and be like yo cookie it's not wine you know but last week i got into it with the cook at wife house he tried me like i i leave anywhere i go i leave a hundred dollar tip or more so i asked him i brought a potato from my house. I say, make me some breakfast potatoes. All he had to do was chop it up and make me some breakfast potatoes. He say he couldn't do it. I say, you can't do what? It's a bet I won't be back.

Yeah, you pay $2 out, I leave $100 tip every time. I brought a potato from my house, he won't make me breakfast potatoes. I say, I'm done with you. You ungrateful. Ungrateful. The lady hadn't stopped talking the entire time he's talking. She's like, he did what? I can't believe you.

Whatever meal I do. He could. Dude, what's up with black people are always 30? How long has he been around? Forever. And he's just young. What the fuck, dude? Black don't crack.

It's bullshit. I know. Oh, he's only 40? That's the thing about these rappers. Some of them were fucking like 16. Think about Lil Wayne. It might be the drugs. Lil Wayne's only 40.

He looks like that Mexican alien, huh? I bought Boosie two pounds of weed one time. Oh, to do Theo's show, right? He needed two pounds of weed. Yeah, and he kept asking for specific strains, and I felt like they were not going to do it, and they were just sending him out a goose chase, but I kept coming back and being like, I got it.

I got it. I got it. And then he came on finally, right? And I was driving during curfew because it was during the riots wow jesus christ it was good times um so yeah he is great but does he have a lot of money and shit i guess from he leaves a hundred dollar tips i know that's what i'm saying like what is he i don't know him except for his antics. I don't know. And I know him.

And I know he's doing one of those influencer fights as well. Oh, he is? And he did a face-off and pepper sprayed the guy. No, I think that's someone else. Yeah, that was Charleston White. Oh, fuck me. Racist. But does he make music now still?

Yeah. He's everywhere though No, I know But that's what I'm saying I only know him because of the anthem Me too I don't know his music I don't know his music

Does he have any slappers, Nick? Yeah We'll listen to some on the Patreon episode Okay We'll go Patreon episode next time And just listen to a little boozy Does this come out Thursday? Yes

Oh, Sam Tripoli That's cool This comes out Thursday All right So I'm in Ottawa right now So it's too late if you didn't get that. Yeah, I'm in Spokane tonight. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday.

Spokane, you ever been there? But whoopsie though, right? Because I'll be in Cleveland, Virginia. I'll be in Pittsburgh. Too many places, right? Philadelphia, Reading, and a bunch of different places. Go to chrislea.com. And that's where the tickets are.

And my contacts are blurry still. Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah. Who's this, Brady Matthews? What's going on? No, that's Sam Tripoli. Yeah. Hey, Golden Hour Podcast.

What's up? This is James from Canada here. He-Man. Southern Ontario building swords. He-Man. Power sword. That's the He-Man. He-Man sword, yeah.

It's so heavy, though. Splits apart. Oh! Whoa. Or Daredevil nunchucks. Whoa. Or... This guy needs to grow up, huh?

Master swords, Zelda, shields, all kinds of stuff. Yeah, you got to grow up. Anyway. My question is, Halloween costumes. Oh. Halloween's coming up in about a month and a half And I'm curious What you might have dressed up as a kid

Or if you hand out trick or treats Or whatever you do for Halloween, you guys It's my favorite holiday Have a great day And Wing bong Glam glam Walla walla bing bang.

Lost his mind. Hell yeah. It's your favorite holiday? Yeah, Halloween. My kids love it. We go to the Knights of the Jack right here in Calabasas. That place is haunted. That place is super haunted.

My boy Zach Baggins did an adventure there. Yeah, but there's no such thing as haunted. It is, though. You got to believe to achieve. Yeah, I love Halloween. As far as caution goes, are you guys doing a family theme? Like we've done, we did the Incredibles.

We did Super Mario. We've done Star Wars. This year, I don't know. I want to do, you guys should do the Manson family this year. I'm too tall to play Charles Manson. Have your kid do it.

You'll be one of the people who kill themselves. I'll be one of the bitches. Oh no, I could be Tex Watson. That's not a bad idea. No, it's a bad idea. Have your kid do it. You'll be one of the people who kill themselves. I'll be one of the bitches? Oh, no, I could be Tex Watson. That's not a bad idea, Christopher. No, it's a bad idea. Your kids are too young. But you, I don't know.

My son this year wants to be, well, you know, he said a while ago, but he said he wants to be Tall Victor, which is a broccoli guy from Garden of Banban. That'd be cute, though. That's a video game that is not even necessarily for kids. It's horrific, but they have a kid version that he loves to watch. So he's going to be tall Victor, I believe. That'd be easy to make.

But he might want to change it to Woody Woodpecker because he's very into Woody Woodpecker now. The movie or the cartoons? The movie. The movie's good. Yeah, it's on Netflix. Yeah, it's really bad. My son, he's at Tiger's into, was it Kazam?

Which, the- That guy, it's not even a- The superhero? Yeah, Kazam. Why'd you into that? It's not even a thing out now for Kazam. I was like, that's gay. Yeah.

Yeah, but he's young, though. Yeah, but it's gay, right? Well, but no, it's not gay if you're that young. Yeah, it's weird, though. It's only gay if you're that young. And all the superheroes, I'm like, come on, Kazam, bro? Yeah, but how old is he? Seven. Yeah, he's kind of gay. Yeah, that's what. And all the superheroes? Come on. Kazam, bro? Yeah, but how old is he? Seven.

Yeah, he's kind of gay. That's what I was thinking, dude. I turned into some gay territory there. Why Kazam, though? There's not even a thing out about Kazam. You know, these kids. Part 2 came out like a few. Oh, there is something like that. Yeah, Part 2 came out.

But like eight months ago. He likes Kazam, dude. Makes his little brother watch it. Support it. Support it. Not Kazam. Shazam. Oh, Shazam. part two came out but like eight months ago you know makes his little brother watch it support it support it not like kazam shazam oh shazam kazam is with shaquille o'neal cuz shazam is the superhero kazam shack shazam i wish he was in a kazam with shack as the genie the shit was i had a whole bit about that on uncourageourageable, and I forgot it was called Kazam. Wow. My memory is bad. Fading?

Yeah, that was the shit. I love that movie. Kazam. I had a whole bit about how I cried, I think, during that. Wow. I don't remember shit, bro. Nice. Hell yeah.

That movie fucking sucked donkey balls, huh? Look at that. It was tough. I enjoyed it as a kid, though. Was I a kid? You have been. Or was I a teenager? You have been. Or was I a teenager? You have been.

When did that come out, Nick? A long time ago. But we were probably in our 20s. I cried during that movie. 96. So you were 14 or 13. Too old to be into that movie I don't know

I was 16 So I cried during it And I didn't even see it Until my 20s So yeah He's going to be tall Look up tall Victor The broccoli?

Yeah That's what my son wants to be And Kiki His grandma Is going to make it And what are you going to be? Are you going to do the whole Well I don't know

Maybe I'll do a band band I'll be band band Or bandolina Or fucking make it. And what are you going to be? Are you going to do the whole theme? Well, I don't know. Maybe I'll do a Bam Bam. I'll be Bam Bam or Bambalina. Yeah, I like the family theme. Or fucking, there he is. That's what he wants to be. I'll be either Bam Bam or maybe my wife will be Bambalina. If you don't do those costumes right, you're going to look like you're fans of Sausage Party.

Oh, yeah. The whole family's going to look like Sausage Party. That thing's terrifying. It's a terrifying game, dude. It's a terrifying game. It's for adults, and then there's, I guess, a kid version. But he can't watch too many levels of it because it gets really violent. I don't really know.

But it looks cute when you do it for kids. Hey, violent like he's beating up other vegetables? How big of a... I don't know. They're monsters and shit. I think they cut each other. Yeah, but they're vegetables, dude. Yeah, but there's other like there's –

Dude, there's Sheriff Toadster. There's – Do you know what it's like? There's different – I know, but you soft. My son watched Training Day the other day. That's the difference between us, bro. Today when I was driving to school, he goes,

damn, dad, I know you like to get wet. You didn't know what? Damn, dad, I know you like to get wet. You didn't know what? Damn, dad, I know you like to get wet. Damn, dad, you want your shit pushed in? Hey, dad, you ever had your shit pushed in? Yeah. Oh, that thing's terrifying, too. Does it help him eat vegetables?

Nah. Nah, it keeps him up at night. It's gangster. It's not. They draw it nice for kids, but it's like a horror video game. Like gangster it's not they they draw it nice for kids but it's like a horror video game like it's not and i'm like what's the you don't want them to gravitate towards that my son likes scary stuff he likes like stuff that he's like mine too oh really yeah yeah like he likes it but it's also like he's also he's scared of it yeah yeah i'm not even trying to make you

laugh he tried he goes dad i want to watch It before bed. I'm like, no, bro. Because Apple recommends it. I'm like, I'm scared of that. I'm like, your brother's through. You guys share a room. You can't watch It. Watch a show on your own time.

Right, right, right. Yeah, I want to watch that movie. Rogan posted about it the other day. Hear Me Out or whatever the fuck it is. The new horror movie that he said is really scary. Everyone's saying it's scary. Oh, what's it on? I need a new movie to watch.

It's on. I just saw it on Apple TV, but it's not Apple TV. It's like, I don't know. It was in the theaters and shit, but it's out now. It's called Hear Me Out? Something like that. Rogan posted it. Talk to me.

Yeah, there it is. Talk to me. Hear Me Out. Yeah, I just watched Talk to Me, and it's one of the scariest effing movies I've seen in a long time. Holy shit, all caps. You know, I don't know. Maybe Rogan was high when he wrote this, though.

You don't know. But, like. Yeah, he knows his shit, though. No, no, I know. We were both in scary movies. I'll watch that for sure. How big of a movie is that? Like, is that some independent thing?

No, it was a big movie. Oh. Is it? And it's on? It was a well-done well done well made studio movie yeah oh i'm in then i need a good new scary movie i love i love being scared dude i don't really get scared watching them though like there's there's moments that are kind of scary but then i forget about them afterwards it doesn't really like the jump moments the jump moments are i hate jump

moments oh i love it they're not love it. They're cheap though. Make me scared to my bones. Hey, have fun though. Try that. I am having fun, but make me scared to my bones. Have it seep in. I'm like, this ain't shit. This ain't shit.

This ain't shit. This ain't shit. No. Then I go like this. If it seeps in my bones, if it's... Build up. This ain't shit. This ain't shit.

This ain't shit. This ain't shit. I'm still thinking this ain't shit, but really it already seeped into my bones and I'm like, I didn't even realize I'm scared. And then by the end of it, I was like, holy shit.

It's called edging, dude. That's hot, dude. Welcome to the terror. Dude, being edged is pretty sweet, dude. It's a good deal. Or it's annoying. Nah, dude.

I'm all into that shit you like scary movies like you like edging you need to build up i like that's why i like ghost adventures especially when they do the when they do the house ones i don't like getting edged bro no no you're talking about haunted shit we move on to sex they both you knew both you like getting edged at Not Scary Farm? Yeah. Take me to Halloween nights in Edgemead. Or at Beetlejuice. Dude, handjob at Beetlejuice? Perfect date.

Playing with your friend-a-lum-glam? You like that shit? What's a friendendulum gap? The fuck is that, dude? Talk to me, daddy. Educate me, man. I'm saying you can touch the phendulum gland, but not until it squirts, man. What is that?

When the lady touches the phendulum gland. It's nice. It's real nice, dude. It's on the tip, front part of your penis, man. It's where the edging happens, dude. The more you know, I call it the tip. Yeah, but I'm more clinical about shit, dude. Yeah, you are, dude.

And I'm a doctor. There you go. Your frenulum gland. Frenulum. The frenulum of the penis is a band of tissue. Oh, I got it wrong a little bit. That connects the foreskin to the head. But I don't have foreskin, daddy.

I don't have that foreskin. Yeah, you do, everyone. No, my shit's right. The frenulum of your penis is a band of tissue. There you go. Look how small that penis is. Is that a picture from Tremors? What is that?

What's that, a clit? Whose dick looks like that? Dude, what is... Make a bigger penis on the thing. Yeah, but don't make it look like that. Yo, that penis is so small. That's bullshit.

What website is this? Penis frenulum. Why is that penis so little, dude? I'm being for real. I'm not even trying to be like I'm a top G. I'm not a top G. I'm saying that penis is so small.

No, we top G's and that's a small dick. That's a tremor. But also a tremor. That's a frenulum gland. That's tremor, man. No way's wiener looks like that, man.

If it does, see a doctor. Listen, you get a nice lady, just touch it on that frenulum gland. With her mouth? For hours, dude. With her mouth? You don't even give a shit what's happening, man. Yeah, but you do it with your mouth.

It's like Cartman when the fucking dog whisperer does... Cartman. It's nice bro uh the homeless in denver getting really entrepreneurial that's denver baby we're business first pop-up bar damn that homeless place is lit. What? All those cameras, pop-up bar. What? Hold up. It says photo show shelves and bottles of liquor, astroturf, lounge seating, step up outside. Authorities say the camps are operating a pop-up bar and renting out tents for paid sex.

Is that legal? Is it legal? It's not. No, prostitution is not legal in denver so then why are they they got to arrest those people man that's illegal we got bigger problems out there like the denver broncos no i there's a lot of big problems out there honestly and right we're owing to i know let's focus on that we got to get john elway back when you're right you're right yep you're right. Yep.

Russell Wilson's not cutting it. If you were going to have to play with one professional quarterback's friend on tip. Dan Marino. Really? Oh, I bet he's packing a dolphin down there, baby. A real water hog. He's probably got a bulgy-ass dick, you know?

Yeah, but it's thick, dude. Joe Montana feels like he'd be small. I don't know man i'm just saying that uh uh this whole thing the prostitution should be definitely legal legal oh yeah i think they've tried it well we were by the way legal and illegal sound too much alike it should be legal and then something else. Not legal. Yeah. Illegal.

I say, it's illegal. You say, illegal or illegal? You got to do that every fucking single time, dude. Yeah, dude. I don't know.

I guess, I mean, if you want to do prostitution, you can pretend you're homeless and just kind of go into one of those tents. Probably smells real bad. I want to see what the ladies look like.

LA's got some hot homeless women, though. LA. Yeah, if you go down Skid Row on Worldstar, they always highlight them. Yeah, they do? Oh, yeah, they highlight them. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to get down there. So this is a couple blocks from my place.

I call it Club Freeway. Oh, my. And you're walking. There's constantly music playing and people hanging out. I definitely could probably get sucked off there for a couple bucks. club freeway oh my uh and you're walking there's constantly music playing and like people like hanging out i definitely could probably get sucked off there for a couple bucks yeah you've never done that this is you you took this yeah i mean it's like right in the middle of the fucking freeway it looks like you're walking you're gonna get hit nick

yeah probably nick that looks like it's a marina dude where is this and there's a school right there oh my it's silver lake just under the 101 evidently they try to really usher them under the freeways because there's less shit there but then they know that so that's where all the drug dealing goes down fuck but that the thing is expansive. There's people with like multiple room tarp mansions. It's crazy. Whoa. Three level condos and shit. You know,

at some point, it's like you live like that. You don't have to pay taxes. You just chill. It's like, you probably get used to it. They might be doing it right. I mean,

some people like living homeless. Yeah, I don't know too many, but yeah. No, I don't know too many homeless people, but I'm just saying. That sounds horrible,

but yeah. No, it does, but some people, dude, I saw a thing once that was like... It was a post under something that was going on in San Francisco. Obviously, that's a war zone.

But dude, they were like, man, being homeless isn't how it used to be. It used to be awesome. I used to love living homeless. I saw comments under the thing. It was like, man, it was the shit. Being homeless in the 90s was the shit. Now I have... Things have changed.

Yeah, it's crazy. Everybody was like, man, it used to be better. Even homeless people. And they have cell phones. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. Everybody was like, man, it used to be better. Even homeless people. And they have cell phones. Yeah, I know. That's wacky, dude. We got another. I wonder how long I would hack it like that.

Homeless? Just go camping. Camping. I was going to say Lamping. Family man. Family man with camping man. Napkins. Napkins. Napkins.

I'll never forget meeting Eminem, and then that's what he did to me. That was the first thing he did to me, and it was so weird. I'll never forget him texting me to post this UFC thing, and I fucked up the text. Eminem texted you to do it? What did he say? He did this bit how him and Dana had this fake beef to promote a fight, and then he reached out to me. And I was like, holy shit, no doubt. What did he say? He did this bit how him and Dana had this fake beef to promote a fight. Yeah.

And then he reached out to me. And I was like, holy shit, no doubt. You got it, man. But I was like in a rush trying to get to studio. Yeah. And I put out the text, but I tagged the wrong UFC. It was like UFC whatever, 190 something. It was like 191.

I put 192. Yeah. I was like, there you go, man. He's like, wrong fucking UFC number. I was like, my bad, man. On the DMs? On the text. Oh, you have his number? Yeah, no big deal. Eminem's number? Yeah, I do. you go man he's like wrong fucking ufc number i was like my batman on the dms on the attacks oh you have his number yeah not a big deal m&m's number yeah i do i don't call him right now

napkins hey how's it going um yeah what a stupid headline you know that's m&m call right now it says marshall mathers Yeah, what a stupid headline, you know? That's Eminem calling right now. It says Marshall Mathers. All right, let's see. Chris, Brendan, Eric, I got another debate club for you. Modern inventions and innovations that make our life easier.

What's the one you can't live without and why? Right now, I'm very thankful for an escalator and elevator. Oh, shit. Where is he? Brazil? That looks like a favela. I mean, iPhone. I could do without phones.

That ain't shit. What do you mean? I hate cell phones. It's better without cell phones. Right, but you need them hate cell phones. It's better without cell phones. Right. But you need them for your work. It's not my favorite thing. Okay.

What is it? Fleshlight? Yours is fleshlight. Nah. Come on, dude. Nah. It gets too messy with the oil and stuff. You get someone to clean it.

Fair point. Now technology. Get a butler to clean it. Good point. Now, technology. Get a butler to clean it. Get a butler just to clean your flashlight. Phil. Again. He's all. What do you think?

Technology-wise, what's the best technology? With a blow dryer. For me, filtered water in a fridge. Gay. It's true, though. I hate getting water. Filtered water? Drink tap water like a man, dude.

I don't like to buy water from the, you know, bring a bunch of water. I just have it in the fridge. I drink the tap water, daddy. That's not. That's how you get fucking. Trying to turn gay like the frogs, dude. Yeah, bro. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle style.

I'm trying to shrink my taint chin. Technology. iPhone. Nah, those suck, dude. Phones destroyed the world. I guess so. They probably saved a lot of people's lives, too, though. Or killed a lot of people.

Dude, what the fuck, man? It's so weird that cell phones have just now they exist and like we can't live without them oh you could though no you're just a slave to it yes but we aren't going to the problem was getting i wanted to get rid of you to flip phone the problem is nobody else has flip phones i know like we all got to commit to it people do it people only text though and don't talk there are people that don't talk on the phone and only text. Yeah.

I had a flip phone. I would take it on the road and not use my iPhone. And I was like. It's horrible, right, to text? Well, just, yeah. I mean, but like I was like, how do I, what do I. I talked to my wife like twice a day rather than all day texting, you know. It's just weird, bro.

So it was, dude. Get a BlackBerry. Yeah. They still exist, right? I think so. I don't know. They might be under. Those were lit.

Because I just needed to do work like emails and stuff. But then, so what do you do for Instagram? You just have somebody run it and all that shit? Well, you just don't do it. Well, you have to do it. I know. But make enough money where you can get out. That's the ultimate top G move.

You make so much money, go, hey, social media, I'm out. That's for sure what I would do if I was like Logan or something. Me too. That's for sure. You know, like Chappelle's the top G. He's not on social media. Didn't even announce his tour dates. When I see, yeah, that is.

You can still get Blackberries? No. No. Damn it. When I see people who are super rich on social media, I guess people want to be relevant or show what they do. That's so stupid. That's just crazy to me, dude.

I would be out of that. Like Leonardo DiCaprio? No social media. Well, no, he does. Gangster. He does. What? Yeah, he posts environmental shit. Oh, that's somebody else posting. I, no, he does. He does. What?

Yeah, he posts environmental shit. Oh, that's somebody else posting. I'm just saying he's not on there all the time. Like if I'm Rogan, no social media. No, I know. Never, ever. Elon Musk? I'm all set. You own it.

I know. I know. Own it and not be on it. Yeah. Yeah. Top G shit. Conor McGregor, he's so famous, so rich, but he still loves to post all the time on social media. It's crazy to me. He's younger and he likes to stay relevant in the fight game. He's so famous So rich But he still loves to post All the time It's crazy to me He's younger

He likes to stay relevant In the fight game He's not that much younger He's on cocaine all the time That's true too That's why he's Twitter and cocaine Is a hell of a drug

He's gotta be on cocaine right Oh yeah For sure Yeah Yeah that's a bummer You went post Just cause you like Like

You have something funny At my age now No No If I was fucking rich as shit Like didn't Didn't need to work another day You have something funny At my age now No No If I was fucking rich as shit Like didn't Didn't need to work another day You'd never see

Hear from me I would still do I wouldn't be on social media I'd still do a podcast Twice a week I'd do a podcast And tour And that's it

I'd do shows I probably wouldn't do any I might not do any More specials I would probably just Like do Some shows Sometimes

Yeah like if my whiskey sold Or something, I'd get paid a jagillion. I mean, I'm out. A jagillion for any limped lamp. I'm out. Napkins. Although, you know, when it happens, maybe I wouldn't. I just think that there's so much stress involved. Like, dude, I'm only on Instagram.

I have TikTok. I don't look at TikTok. I only look at Instagram. I don't look at Twitter. I only look at Instagram. I don't look at Twitter. I don't have other... It's better that way. I only look at Instagram. I used to look at everything all the time, switch back and forth, and it just made my fucking life

stressful. What's it? What are you doing? I'm just commenting. Nick just shoots. Love the departed. I'm talking about saving the world but then he's all about global warming but he gets around a private jet save it huge fan though save it i don't know man it's like you help in some ways and you don't in others that's just how humans are i don't like when it's like yeah well you do this but your whole life isn't about

it it's like dude fly around on a private jet you know how fucked up his life would be if he had to fly commercial? It would be a fucking nightmare. He couldn't get through that. He wouldn't make the flight. I talked about this on Congratulations. Please chime in on this. I was on the plane. Sorry if you listen to both podcasts.

I'm telling the story twice. I was on the plane coming back from edmonton and i had to stop in seattle so it was the flight was edmonton to seattle okay all right they don't have wi-fi on the plane for some fucking godforsaken reason so everything's down no tv either they didn't have tv either and did you load up podcasts on your phone and that was an hour 40 from the flight whatever okay so i'm like that's on you i'm gonna sleep i don. Okay. So I'm like, all right. That's on you. I'm going to sleep. I don't care. I sleep. I'm like this.

Is it an early morning flight? No. Okay. So I'm like this. Hard to sleep. Okay. So I'm like this. But I actually was sleeping.

I go like this. There's a woman next to me. The aisle. It's two and two. Prop plane. She's in the aisle. You're on the window. She's in the aisle.

I'm on the window. I'm against the thing like this. I'm against the wall, right? Mm-hmm. Visibly sleeping. Sure. This is what happens next. She bumped you.

In the aisle, some dude over her. Hey, man, are you the comedian? Oh, no. over her. Hey, man, are you the comedian? Oh, no. I go like this.

What? Yeah. Chris? Yeah. Can I get a picture? No. I'm sleeping, man. Please?

I'm sleeping. All right. Sorry, man. You're up the rest of the flight. Oh, because of- Anger. Fury. Blood curdling. And I'm like, and in my head, I'm like, oh, it sucks because I'm only hurting myself being

this mad. I can't get back to sleep. But my anger just goes like this. Nah, fuck that, though. We're going to stay up and think about it. Oh, I'm sorry. Did you take a picture with him when you got off the flight? Fuck no, dude.

Yeah, you... Oh, hard sleep? Yo, man. Yo, dog. Dude, if he came up to me again, I would have said, yo, bro, no, you woke me up in the middle of the fucking flight. And see, here's the thing, dude. I mean, everyone in here thinks that's fucked up, right?

Or am I wrong here? It's completely fucked. Why not wait till after the flight? If that guy went online and said, yo, Chris Lee was a dick to me, everyone would fucking flame me. Yeah. That's so rude. And I'm doing that when we get out of this podcast.

It's just so fucked up dude dj but but to think about just what just think dude did you really think waking a person up he doesn't know this but i never sleep on flights i was like oh man so awesome dude i was so out that like two times i was like yeah i love that like you know what i mean yeah you should have waited the whole time watch see if he if he falls asleep, wake him up, be like, you want that picture? Yeah. That's insane.

Here are the two fucked up things about it. How were we going to take the picture? There was a woman in between us. Did he want me to get up and get out and do it? Yeah, get up. Get up. Number two. Get your bitch ass up.

Number two. This is the thing that really pissed me off. You know what a little bit of it? What? Top G moved by him. The thing that really pissed me off was he did it on the way to go to the bathroom. It wasn't even for my own thing. Like he didn't even do it.

It was convenient for him. It was like, oh, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Fuck this motherfucker, dude. Hey, but also Top G moved by that guy. Top G moved. Well, fuck him, dude. That's the podcast name, Top G.

How fucked up is that? That is super fucked up i i dude it's been so long since somebody was so fucking rude not yet rude to me but not like vocally like fuck you bro like but like you know because sometimes you're getting an altercation with somebody but this was like it was just like it's the the audacity yeah you know i mean guy wasn't raised right that's it is that that it, brother? All right. Spokane this Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

As you're listening to this, I'll be in your city tonight. Spokane. One show Thursday. He won't be. Two Friday. Two Saturday. He's not coming. Bryce Daly and Cord Lane.

I'll holler at your boy. Spokane. Montreal and Hamilton sold out. Pittsburgh, I'll be there. Cleveland, I'll be there. Detroit, Orlando, Fort Myers, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Philadelphia, and Redding, Pennsylvania. I will be there soon.

Fake place. Nope. Why am I going to Redding? Woo-hoo! I'll be there. All right. Love you guys. Thank you.