The Golden Hour - Try That In My Town | The Golden Hour #39 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: July 28, 2023

The guys talk the Jason Aldean song drama, Chris losing 5 grand in Vegas, Erik winning 5 grand at Keno, gambling stories at casinos, Machine Gun Kelly slapping someone at the Orange County fair, Boy Scouts stories, a conspiracy theory about a famous musician being Erik's real dad and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://Patreon.com/TheGoldenHourPodcast

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Ooh, yeah It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power

Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour Hey Chris, you know what's hilarious? This thing? It's on my desk. Yeah. And my desk is messy. Yeah.

So every time I... Yeah. It scares the shit out of me. It'll put my phone on it or something and it goes, oops time like I sometimes it scares the shit out of me. I'll be it'll put my phone on it or something and it goes oops. I'm like oh shit. You know.

But I say we'll say who it is. I sent you a clip. More people are doing it. Yeah. In your vibes dog. Of course.

That's not the first time. Do you another tattoos Chris Leah dot com. It's been there. Oh you've had a snake the whole time. Month.

We should do like a Python. We should do like a like a month. We should do like a... Yeah, Python? We should do like a contest. We should do like one of those betting contests. Okay. When will ChrisDelia.com get mentioned on the podcast? In the first five minutes? Well, if you bring up hoops.

Yeah, you kind of kicked it off. You're like, man, I can't go anywhere without seeing these things. This is Thursday, right? So tomorrow I'll be in Brea. You're going to be at the Ice House, right? Ice House Friday. And I'll be at Irvine. Oh, wow.

Look at that. Look at us. The boys are around. So go to one show. So if you're going to go... Well, you have to go to mine. Because I'm only doing two shows on Friday. Brea to Irvine is not too bad, though.

No. Where are you? Irvine. Okay. I'm Brea, I think. Yeah. And you're Ice House. Okay.

That's cool. It's Ice House Friday. And Okay. I'm Brea, I think. Yeah. And you're Ice House. Okay. That's cool. It's Ice House Friday, yeah. And then I'll be in Charlotte, North Carolina. And I do have an Irvine date in there somewhere. Muggsy Bogues is opening up for you. Love it, dude. Knoxville, Little Rock, Arkansas, and Nashville are the ones coming up. I can't wait for that.

Jason Aldean is opening for you in Arkansas. Did something just happen with him? Yeah. Try it in my town, dude. That's what happened with him? Yeah, tried in my town, dude. That's what happened. What? Tried in my fucking town, bro. Is it the...

Tried in my small town, dude. Is it the video they're saying is racist? Yeah, the one that slaps? That's the problem, though. It slaps. All I know is that it's not racist, and I didn't even see a second of it. It's just weird what people get mad at.

It's so stupid, yeah. It's weird people get mad at Jason Aldean because he had that slapper song and went hard in the paint. The media just has to stop. But then we can play WAP. Here's where the media's at. But WAP's cool. Okay, here's where the media's at. Well, it's weird people get mad at jason aldean because he had that slapper song and went hard in the pain the media just has to stop we can play wop here's where the media is at school okay here's what the media is at well it's a different thing how one is glorifying sexual shit and then the other one is racism you can't you can't but that's not racism no i know that

but that's what the media is saying yeah but this is what happens with the media though it's like they they now they say oh it's racist. And I see a headline. I go, no, it's not. That's where they're at right now. You don't even have to look into it. You're like, oh, no, it's not. And to your point, they pushed us that far. They pushed us that way.

Because all the headlines, I'm like, I don't believe in it. I don't believe in a word, bro. They're trying to cancel. They tried to cancel that old song, It's Cold Outside. I know. John Wayne. They tried to cancel John Wayne. Remember? He's dead. He's dead. Yeah. Yeah. So it's cold outside i know you know somehow john wayne they tried to cancel john wayne remember he's dead he's dead yeah yeah so it's just stupid dude everything is dumb but this is where they fuck up like that song came out in may you know i didn't hear about

it now it's the number one song in the country oh of course it's number one yeah i but that i don't understand what this is the thing it doesn't work for them if i was jason aldean when i saw it like yes i guess they want clicks and i guess they get clicks on their fucking cnn or whatever it is I don't understand what this is. It doesn't work for them. If I was Jason Aldean when I saw it, I'd be like, yes. I guess they want clicks. And I guess they get clicks on their fucking CNN or whatever it is. I mean, that's great. Can I tell you something? What?

I'm looking at these lyrics. Okay? Okay. And for this to be racist, here's the thing that's crazy about it. I don't know if you've ever watched cops or any of those type cop shows. It's all white people doing this. That's what's so funny. You know what I mean?

And they do that on purpose too. When you watch cops now, they can't have just a bunch of brown criminals. So they go to places where it's all white people acting crazy and they do this shit. Yeah, and that's like one episode a month now. So hold on.

He's very into this. He used to be on every night then they stopped showing black people now it's one white dude a month so wait why yeah so why all these places redneck why is so why is this why are they saying this is racist though because where it was filmed oh right in 1927 they this is so stupid and he's like what he's like, what? That's conspiracy theory shit. He's like, what? Well, you can't do anything in the United States then. It's all racist. Yeah.

Show me a place in the United States where they were treating black people well. I know, I know. In 19-whatever-the-fuck. But you don't think Native Americans died on the land we're doing this bullshit from? Thank you. Let's go back even further. You know, this is what I always say, man. People like these types that want to talk about racism, they always talk about old-fashioned values and stuff.

Well, how old? How far do you want to go back? Right, right, right. But also, I haven't seen any black – 1100. Yeah, medieval times. I haven't seen any black people upset about this. It's just liberal white people that are like, that's racist. We're like, we don't care. I don't see any black people upset. this. It's just liberal white people. They're like, that's racist.

Black people are like, we don't care. I don't see any black people upset. I haven't even listened to the song. What if I listen to it and it's great? And it's blacks that do it. It's the blacks. Oh, never mind. This is so racist.

There's one line we didn't see. I just heard half the song, too. I don't know the rest of it. Have you ever heard that Willie Nelson song where he's talking? I believe he's talking about being gay, and he's like, that shit ain't right. Wow. That's the lyric. Really?

The lyrics are, that shit ain't right. Damn, dude. Brendan just got a new favorite song. I like how he was like, Nick up spotify yeah no yeah that is it is crazy though like that they'll choose to cancel this and not the other shit like oh willie nelson's well you they know because they they know they know that they can't cancel willie nelson dude he's he already got canceled anyway because of his tax of you know oh really just the taxes and everything whatever canceled means now i don't even know what it means yeah what does it even mean

i don't know it's like means. What does it even mean? I don't know, dude. It's like when you get canceled, though, unless you're Bud Light, but if you're an individual, it's like when they do this woke shit, it's like, dude, you just earned him $100 million? Yeah, it's weird. He sold out every show now for the rest of the year. Your fans become more hardcore, and you get more. You get more because people are like, we don't agree with that. I mean, you might lose some money and some sponsorships.

You might, but in the end, it doesn't matter, dude. No, he's making more in Tori. In the end, it doesn't even matter. It's not so hard. Look at the lyric in this song. And it's mostly blacks. Oh, that song too. But I ain't going down on Brokeback Mountain.

No, I ain't going down on Brokeback Mountain. That shit ain't right. Wow. But this is a song song. Wow. So this was actually. This is a song song. And not a long time ago. For sure gay? This is 2009, dude.

Is that a reference to the movie or is this in the 60s? Brendan would be the worst. No, 2009. He'd be the worst lawyer. Defense? Defense lawyer. How do we know Brokeback means gay? That is a trail in the mountains of arkansas

so it's like i'm just saying there are other things out there that like you know it's pick and choose even that thing with that with rosanne on uh theo yeah how they did that how they like you know they just they just put a portion yeah and then it's like people just jump on but nobody really actually believes that shit it's just people just jump on stuff. But nobody really actually believes that shit. It's just people on the internet. But at the time, you know who believed it? The people that monetized this podcast. They believed it. Well, they feel pressure, right? Yeah.

But they fucked up because then Theo gets 70 million views. It makes Theo bigger. It makes Roseanne bigger. It lasts for a day and then it's over. No one really gives a shit. It's just for clicks and views. But then when he goes back to the platform, it probably helps them. It's probably actually good.

They probably go, you know what we'll do?'s take him off he'll get big then when he comes back people will be like whoa more money for you to know it's all a game I don't know about this one though but you know Activision there's a there's a big streamers names Nick Merckx yeah I love me we look similar yeah yeah you do look like everyone's like oh it's your brother though but anyways you know bring him up do look like a Nick. Everyone's like, oh, it's your brother. He's very little, though. But anyways, he- You guys don't look alike. Bring him up, Nick. He had a thing about, let's leave the kids alone.

Because they were protesting at a school. Yeah. About the two sides were fighting about the- And that's Joanna, too. The gay stuff or whatever. That is. He was in Glendale. Yeah.

And all he said was, let about leave the kids out or whatever. And then Activision, because he's a big Call of Duty streamer, he had his own skin on the game. Yeah. They removed it. What's he talking about, leave the little children alone? What was it from? They were protesting.

Armenians were protesting in Glendale about some books that were in the library. Like transgender shows. Yeah. And it was the middle of Pride Month. There was a bunch of protests against Pride. And he said they should leave the show. Oh, so he's saying, so don't have this trans stuff go on? No, he's like, just leave the little kids.

Like, leave kids out. Yeah, it doesn't seem like he's taking a side even. No, he's like, leave kids out. He made a video about it being like, I stand what i said i wasn't i wasn't being hateful anyway the point is this company got homophobic this company makes a big they they say they want to show up we're good people of course yeah i'm just gonna remove the guy you know and so he's he he deleted the game and stopped playing call of duty and that hurts activision right yeah dr disrespect did the same thing in Solidarity.

Dr. Disrespect? Oh, you don't know who Dr. Disrespect is? No, was he disrespectful? I know Dr. Disrespect. Even I know Dr. Disrespect. Yeah, that guy is huge, man. What's he do? He's a gamer.

Just this guy. Oh, wow. That guy's a character. Yeah, yeah. Big character. But, you know, it's like. He looks like D'Elia, but with Theo's hair. Yeah.

It's so confusing. Pretty cool. Yeah, he makes so much money. It's unbelievable. What's that? How much? The gaming community, they probably make like $250,000 a month. At least.

Some of those boys. And like Ninja. Oh, it's just all right? Ah. It's just all right? Ninja makes so much money. It's just all right? Like that Ninja kid, he does the merch with our people.

His shit, his sales, they tell me. I'm like. Oh, yeah, Ninja. But that's a different. I want to jump off a building. Yeah, Ninja's crazy. But these guys, Nick Merckx and those guys. Some of these guys are bigger.

They make so much money. 50 million to join Kit, dog. That's cool. I mean, that's a lot of money. Well, there was that one guy. There's another guy. He signed a $100 million deal. I saw that. That's crazy. He's a gamer. Oh, dude was that one guy. There's another guy. He signed a $100 million deal. I saw that.

That's crazy. He's a gamer. Oh, dude. How about Trump's all this? How about that Mbappe, the soccer player? Billion dollar offer to play in Saudi Arabia. But a billion. First billion dollar offer ever.

You say something about Trump right there? No. You didn't say Trump right there? I heard it too. Didn't you? Yeah. Oh, I'll Trump that, he said. Yeah, I got you.

So you didn't say it. You sneaked it in, dude. God, you guys are all scared. How about the fact that... it too didn't you yeah oh i'll trump that he said oh yeah oh god so you didn't say it so god you guys are all scared how about the fact that wow how about the fact it just comes out of your mouth different how about the fact that it's going to be obama's the one killing the chef easy bro who's chef what chef he's he's taught some secrets yeah bro he gotta go chef you said yeah they tossed him like the river like good luck swimming can't swim he died who who their chef when who's they yesterday the obama's killed him they just tossed him over you think no he was like i can't swim like that's all right have fun pal born in martha's vineyard he's like wait i can't swim like you'll figure it out and come back and make us a pizza they said he couldn't swim swim, but then people found from his story in 2021,

he's swimming laps and he's trying to beat his regular time. Obama killed him. Michelle killed him. Some say he saw her penis. Anyways, what were you saying? No, that's stupid. No, it's so stupid. Can you imagine if she had a dick?

That'd be so weird. The views of these two do not express the views of Eric Griffin. No, hold on a second, though. Try that shit in Moth Town. Hold on a second. What was I going to say? express the views. No, hold on a second, though. Eric Griffin. Try that shit in my town. Hold on a second. What was I going to say? God damn it. The soccer guy, billion dollars.

Oh, billion dollars. Mbappe. Mbappe. And he said what? No? Yeah. The first offer he said no. Now they're like, cool.

How about a billion? And I think he's on the fence. Reggie Bush got his comments going, you better sign that fucking one-year deal. Man, Chris Lee needs to get in those comments. Sign that deal, dude. What's his name? Me and Reggie Bush co-signed.

Antetokounmpo, he said, I'll come play. Made it up. Oh, Greek the Freak? Yeah. He was like, I'll come play. I'll play some soccer. But, you know, here's the thing, though. Let's just.

I don't like jokes like that. If you are. Here's the thing. Yeah. If you are already. Because these soccer players are already super wealthy. Yeah, right. I know this, dog. If you have $250 million soccer players are already super wealthy Yeah right If you have 250 million dollars in the bank

Alright And somebody offers you that But you have to go live in Saudi Arabia Yeah yeah You got 250 million dollars That's the same as a billion 100% I agree I'm good

I agree I'd shut my fucking mouth for a year and play in Saudi Arabia. You'd get a billion dollars for a year? One year. Oh, well, I would do it. 100%. A year? I'm kicking a ball in the desert.

But you spend money like a dum-dum. So I get why you need more. You'd be buying people. My wife would have all that shit on. I'd be like, you just got to do it for a year, babe. One year. I know, but it's just like, again, you get to a certain point. I mean, I guess he was just like, nah, I don't want to do that.

He'll still make enough money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I bet he even has more than $250,000 in the bank. Yeah, he does. Endorsements. He's the best player on earth. He does, he does. Whatever your lifestyle is, how would you even improve it?

I feel like those guys like uh elon musk and the other dude every time zuckerberg's all like he's getting his pilot license yeah because he's like they're bored right yeah that's why they want to fight each other that's why that's why rich people he's right he's right he's right you're both right they're so bored i know but it's like they're bored but what i'm saying is it's not like what can you buy i also get wise like you know what what could you you want to write the biggest check ever just to say you could so he was like here's 44 billion of course i do right yeah here take that he don't give a fuck it's like that's like just

going to air one i would make one's expensive but yeah i would mix it up yeah get you get creative i lost five grand in vegas you bet? Mm-hmm. What did you gamble on? You're not better. I did roulette, and then I played craps. Why? I love craps. Yeah, craps is fun. Why is an idiot to do roulette? Roulette is just...

Yeah, I don't get the... People say that about roulette. I don't get it. Why? Because that's one of the lowest odds to win. But it's also not that low if you're just betting red and black. And it's like 48. If you're not playing craps.

What are you, an 85-year-old woman? I'll tell you what. Honestly. I'll take $70 on red. Yeah, $70 is my ass, bro. I'm putting the Hondas in. But I'll tell you this. Oh, my bad.

Ocean's 11 over here. No, let me explain something, though. My vice is craps. Craps is fun. It is fun. Because you get on a roll with your friends. They get the fuck out of here. You're betting fucking $20.

I'm out here with fucking hundreds. But yeah. Were you up and then just kept playing? He's out here with fucking coin. Can I bet a coin? Can I just put the five cents down? No, I go in, buddy. Hell yeah.

Let's go, bro. I love to play craps with you. That'd be so fun. I'm ready. That would be fun with you, bro. It's so fun. Let me tell you my best crap story. I'm in MGM Grand.

And the table's surrounded. And there's an old woman. There's an old woman rolling, okay? She's like rolling the dice and she goes like this every time she rolls. She holds the dice and she goes, one, two, three. And then she goes natural.

She was rolling for 45 minutes. On one. One run. Yes. She was rolling. By 40 minutes, this is everybody at the table. One. Of course, of course, of course. It's fun, bro. Listen, I had... Yes. She was rolling. She was balling though? By 40 minutes, this is everybody at the table. What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, of course, of course. It's fun, bro. Listen, I had. You were bored, huh? You want 50 bucks? You were bored. No, no, no.

You were bored out there. You got to have thousands. Nah, because I lost a lot of money. So, well, I mean. I won fucking three grand. And then I lost. So I lost eight grand. Of course you did.

Really? Yeah. But dude, this is so the truth. And this sucks how simple it is. Nobody really loses. They just keep going after they win. That's the worst part. Nick shook his head.

And I just like. Well, Nick, I mean. I know. No, I felt it. Nick makes a living off it. I know. But it's just like if I just had i know no i felt it but like it makes a living i know but it's just like you just if i just had just stopped i would have been up three grand nick has a seminar he's got one of these here's how you lose money guys the bill bellamy mike yeah it's just like everybody hi i am nick yeah yeah no but it's it's actually interesting yeah

you you don't you don't you go to to Vegas Do you bet the shit You go there Or do you do mostly You bet on sports I bet on sports If I go to Vegas I'll play blackjack all night though I love blackjack I don't like blackjack

Here's what I like I like blackjack with friends Like if we were all On a blackjack table That would be fun But I can't be at a blackjack table And this motherfucker right here Right

Is not gonna hit this Right right right Not gonna stay on 16 And he can't say anything And that's why When I do go to play blackjack I go to the $50 minimum table. Oh, right.

So you're with, yeah, yeah. No, he's right. No, I like it. I like this. If you go to a $10 table. I know. These fucking idiots. And you're not going to hit.

I'm like this. I'll give you $10. Right, right, right, right, right. You didn't fuck up my money. Here's $10. Right. Fucking hit that shit. I'd rather bet on sports.

It's so much more fun. I can't stand it. No, no, it's not. No, no, no. Because then you're sitting there like this. Oh, my more fun. I can't stand it. No, no, no, no. Because then you're sitting there like this. Oh my God. Yeah, no. No, because

you just started betting last weekend, bro. You know how I am. You just started betting last weekend, dude. Wait, hold on. It was three days ago. So hold on.

No, sports is, the only time I like betting on sports is when I go to Vegas every year for the Super Bowl. I'm such an addict, bro. I'm such an addict. I was in there

and I was just like, dude, I could really get into it. No, it's just about everything. But hold on. You, but an addict, bro. I'm such an addict. I was in there and I was just like, did I really get into it? No, it's just about everything. But hold on. But so this is what I like about roulette. This is what I like about roulette. If you're in the mood. I don't, I like that it can't be really my fault.

Like it's basically just guessing. Right? There has to be some sort of strategy, a little bit with craps. Blackjack, yes. But with roulette, here but what you need would rule that Uh-huh. Let's say in the first five spins. Yeah, you gotta have one win cuz it keeps you there Yes, well, yeah, but that's why I placed a lot of shit in a different thing

That's what I mean You get one of those right and then with the fun about roulette you thought you're going to go Yeah going one day one time I was in Vegas and I walk into the casino area, and there's a huge crowd. Yeah. Huge crowd around a roulette table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy had two stacks of chips, no exaggeration, maybe this high off the table, this high, on two different numbers.

Yeah, yeah. And he hit one of them. No, come on, bro. He hit one of them. What did he make, a million? He must have made made it was over a hundred thousand you know and the whole place was like yes dude a billion dollars a billion dollars he's just like i'm out in 10 years it might be like that yeah i know well hotel keeps a billion

okay but chris hey i want a billion dollars here's what i like guys i want to here's what i like to play in vegas well keno oh i don't even that's some old that's some old shit i know but i'm at a okay i don't even know what it is i'm at a restaurant and i put the five number keno yeah my friends are talking you know the keno draw comes up my ticket i'm listening like if this you know yeah i see my first number come up i'm like you know and i'm listening second number so one of my numbers i'm like oh shit okay you know and then by the third number, I'm just like, come on. And then it was like I needed one number. It was like a 12.

And then everyone knows in the restaurant. Because I'm like this, 12. Then the whole restaurant starts to go, 12. I hit the 12. Come on. The whole restaurant goes crazy. What'd you get, 75 bucks? I won 5,000.

Oh, damn. Oh, wow. Damn. That's good. No, you ain't no chump. I thought maybe you'd be a chump, but you're no chump. I love that shit. I didn't know Keno was a lot of money.

I don't know Keno. Look, you're proving you're not a chump. I mean, I'd like to see the receipt, but it's fucking amazing. You put a dollar down on getting five numbers, you're going to win a lot of money. Yeah. You don't have to put, it's not like I bet $5,000. True, true, true. So you're a chump.

So you're a chump. Yeah, it's Keno. Hold on a second. And after I won the money, everybody was like, yeah. And then they just went back to their thing. And did you dip out or you stayed? No, I lost that money at Keno. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Immediately right. You got to know when to stop. Check this out. It's addictive. One time I was at the thing. I found a $100 chip on the ground. I saw it. I was like, oh, shit.

I put my foot on it. I took my key out of the thing. Oh, whoops. Oh, my key. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Went right of the thing. Oh, whoops. Oh, wow. Went right to the table. No, it was a $500 chip. I should have cashed that out and walked the fuck out of there, right?

No, but I didn't come here to win $500. That's my mentality. I go, that ain't shit. I came here to win $500. I go, I won $3,000. I was like, that ain't my mortgage. Come on. You know what I mean?

Exactly. Yeah,000. I was like, that ain't my mortgage. Come on. You know what I mean? Exactly. Yeah, man. Most I've ever won in Vegas is I won like $12,000. Goddamn. Playing craps, you know? Wow. Yeah, so that's why I was like, let me tell you something. That's my one thing.

I don't drink. I don't take drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when I'm in Vegas, that's why I have to like – I don't have a gambling problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I go, I know I'm going to be like – This sounds like an ad. This sounds like an ad.

No, no, no, no. What I'm saying is I take the amount of money I want to – Of course. And you lose it and that's it. And I lose it and I'm like, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not me. I dip in after that.

I dip in after that, dude. More card ain't maxed out. Well, how many cards I got? Three cards, one's maxed out. I'll dip into the red one. This guy's calling his business manager. Transfer, transfer. That would be me, though.

If I lived there, fuck. No, hell no. When you go to the Dodgers or the Padres game, they have a thing where you put money in, and then they give you a ticket. The pot keeps going up. Oh, yeah, yeah. My opener, Brett Forte. 50- from yeah 5050 from Canada apparently that's

this thing I've never heard of it we all the Padres game he puts in whatever it's 20 bucks but then he can't enjoy the game because he's leaving ah yeah yeah yeah that's all I care oh my god my k bro you know the chances of you fucking yeah yeah yeah fourteen thousand people fucking put in a – This is why I don't like betting on sports. It's 50-50, isn't it? Oh, boy. I don't like betting on sports, man, because I can't enjoy the game.

It makes it more intense. I tried it one time. I bet like a four-game parlay. You don't like sports. I bet this four-game parlay. So now I can't enjoy any of the games because I need this team to win by 10. Right, right, right. I need that team. Parlays are too stressful. too stressed and i'm just like all right come on i'm by the end

of the day i'm looking at the last game like score you know that kind of shit i can't stand that um fighting's really intense way about like come on motherfucker no but at least it's like with fighting that's why fighting and horse racing it's just this guy's gotta win when you bet on say football and there's a spread you're all fucked up Oh, yeah, I have some weird what? One of those what are those bets called all those prop bet type shit? So there was one time watching football and I bet that the team had to win by 10 Okay, they had to win by 10 minus 10 and and they had to kick a field goal

So now I'm looking at the game And they're up by like four or something And I'm like oh fuck now I need them too Yeah But it had to be ten I was at the Laugh Factory last Thursday And I walk in there's a bunch of Vargos, biker gang guys Like the legit pats like all in the back

I'm like oh my god that's intense So I get on stage and I walk out Four of them follow me out So I walk out and they're like oh we them follow me out. I'm like, oh, God damn, this ain't good. So I walk out and they're like, oh, we're such big fans. I'm like, oh, cool. They're like, we listen to the shop show, man. We bet on your picks. I was like, oh, that's not good. You guys aren't making a lot

of money, man. I was like, don't listen to my bets. There's a lot of YouTube videos about your picks. I'm sure. No one's good at betting fights. It's tough, man. It's fucking, and I'm biased as shit. Don't bet on my picks. I'm biased.

If I know a guy, I bet on him. Bet on my picks. I don't know. Whoever's supposed to win doesn't. Fighting's tough to win, man. There's too many ways to lose. Yeah, they don't eat enough carbs and shit. You don't know their diet.

For real. I know. They have a bad weight cut. Something going on in their personal life. I know. Imagine being that guy. It's not like Patrick Mahomes. I almost went to the gym yesterday, and I was like, I just don't feel up to it.

And I'm like, I shouldn't go. And I forced myself to not go, and I fucking know I would have hurt myself, you know? So I get it. You never know when you're going to hurt yourself. Sounds like you're just lazy, bro. Yeah, I was lazy, but I'm going to go today. I know. They've got a guy following you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's too tired. Yeah, minus 10., yeah, yeah. He's too tired. Yeah, minus 10. It's minus 10. It keeps going up. It's like the guy from De Niro in that one movie where he was like the- Casino?

Casino, where he was like the guy. He just knew how to pick the picks. He knew. But there was a fighter who got in a lot of trouble because he was a coach for a team, for big UFC guys, and then he would give his buddies inside information like, hey, his leg's fucked up.

So he's probably going to lose in the first round if they kick him in the leg. Yeah, that's James Krause. Well, that's why... He's kind of fucked up. The integrity of the game is always in question. So he was a UFC coach and then he would give insiders, he had like a betting website, he would give the insiders

the track like, this guy had a really hard weight cut, man. He just knows he goes three rounds. And he was like, tell him to bet against his guys. Like, oh, this guy's going to take a fall version. Basically. Yeah, but Pete Rose only bet on his team. No, he bet

against his team. He only bet for them to win. Oh, really? That's why I don't have a problem with it. Ah, he had a problem with it. It messes with the integrity of the game. Well, how? Tell me how. I'm not saying it doesn't, but how? If he's been against it, he should be in the hall of fame. I thought he bet against it. No, never. Only bet for his team to win.

It just opens up the idea that people can justify any kind of betting. They'll find a way to justify it. You make an exception. Have you seen how many NFL guys currently are suspended for betting? Like a bunch are coming out. One of the Broncos de-tackles, they

suspend for the whole year. You can't blame them though. He's like, we suck, man. You can't have that. You can't have what happened in the 1923 World Series. Yeah, Black Sox. You can't have that kind of stuff. Was that the Black Sox thing? Yeah, I think it was 1919. 19-whatever. No, but that's what they call it. Black, not asx. You can't have that kind of stuff. Was that the Black Sox thing? Yeah, I think it was 1919.

19-whatever. No, but that's what they call it. Black not as in the color of their skin. I just feel right with you. Come on, dude. You can't have the integrity of the game has to be the most important thing so we don't ever worry about it. The moment you start thinking about

people are cheating or whatever, then it just takes away from it and people lose faith in it. You can't have that. You see that ref? They're looking into it. He got suspended. But he's from Boston. His family grew up the biggest Boston Celtic fans.

He gets to the NBA as a ref. And because his family is the Boston Celtics fans, they realized when he was reffing the games, they generally always won and all the calls were against the other team. So they suspended him because he's supposed to reff in the playoffs. And they're like, hold up, something's going on here. When this guy's the ref, the Celtics

always win. So now they're looking into it. But he's like, yeah, give me a little bias, man. Right, right, right. I didn't listen to the whole thing. It's a long story. Celtics? Chris, with the recap?

Tell us about the black socks again. Heavy on the black. So the guy in the Celtics was a ref for the Celtics, and he was betting, and they were like, he shouldn't have done it. But he was biased because he's always with the Celtics. There you go, dude. Did I get it?

You got it. Yeah, that's a general recap. Try that shit in my town, bro. Yeah, try that's a general recap. Try that shit in my town, bro. Yeah, try that shit in my town. Alright, let's see what's up. This shit ain't right. I'm about to name my tour that. Try that shit in my town. My name is Chris Colley from Newfoundland, Canada.

Two people on a tandem motorcycle, a couple. Love it. I don't know what's more sub-bitch. It's sub-bitch, but I love it i don't know what's more it's a bitch but i love it i would do it we're riding on the back of a motorcycle but either i would do it for the bike the bicycle one is the shit the motorcycle one's a little bit like just get a car the more the motorcycle one we'll see you in ottawa September. Hell yeah. I'll be there.

ChrisLeah.com. Say on a motorcycle, you jump on the back. Please don't kiss him. If I have a motorcycle and you're like, hey, let's go to Air One and jump on the back, automatically you've got to suck my dick. That's just a cuff move. Or just hold on to the penis in the front and that's how you do it. And then you ride. If I go right, you've got to turn right. Oh, like the joystick. Yeah, yeah, the joystick. Some comedian has to have that adidas in the front, and that's how you do it. And then you ride. If I go right, you got to turn right.

Oh, like a joystick. Yeah, yeah, a joystick. Some comedian has to have that joke, by the way. There's no way I came up with that. You have to ride back to back, and you're holding the back of the bike like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop that, man. I'm going to get behind you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, grab on, bro. But when we get off. Oh, my God. You have to go. Okay, there's a sandstorm coming. all right okay hold on or something i'm ready yeah like the mummy sandstorm yeah yeah sandstorm coming there's just a motorcycle okay so you're gonna be worried about i i pull up brandon come on okay but you know you gotta suck my dick

no i expect that dude gotta pay the piper, bro. I jump on the bag. I know I'm sucking. I'm sucking, bro. Yeah. It's just uncomfortable. It's just so nuts to butt. You're on that 90 miles an hour.

Dean Del Rey. Oh, yeah. Nuts to butts. But hold on a second, though. That is Joe. Nuts to butts? Yeah, no, not the joystick thing. But so I don't get the tandem bicycle thing is the shit, I think.

That's just good buddies. I would do it with my wife. I would also do it with other dudes. I'll do it with my brother. I'll give you a six-person one. I'll do it with anyone in here. No, I'll do it with anyone in here. I'll do it with anyone in here.

Anyone in here. Just good friends. I'll do it with anyone anywhere. That stupid bar crawl one. Oh, yeah, that's stupid. I wouldn't do that. I don't like that. There's like eight people in a thing.

Pedal pub. Yeah. Nashville. Nashville, it's all pedal pub. Get out of here with that. I hate that shit, and they're blasting loud fucking. Barsicle. Was it Mr. fucking 305?

What's his name? Pitbull music? It's like loud music. They got those drinks. Yeah, there's those stupid idiots. That's so dumb. And it's only white people. I've never seen another race on those fucking things.

Stupid idiots. It's usually like a lot of young girls. No, it's old warlocks. They're like, we're single. I think that they're fit enough to do this. They're going to be so sore the next day, idiots dude i i hate that shit dude i've been i've been doing this new thing where i'm watching people fall on youtube i go people falling calvin likes it and man these motherfuckers dude like what are they doing dude like you're you dude don't jump on that fucking thing you're

you're overweight you're 45 just you never do this just google fat people fat people on scooters. Yeah, it's like what are they doing? What are those things called? Goddamn, that's Hulk Hogan. Wow, that's crazy. Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan. You know that Hulk Hogan level? That is just crazy.

Not dope, but what are those things called? The birds. The birds. Oh, people get fucked up on birds. Yeah, I see a fat person on that. I'm like, you're not supposed to. You know that's not for you. What are you doing?

Do you see DJ Khaled's security just eat shit? DJ Khaled I think he's at like the messy game he's like what's up you know it's Mr. 305 he's like running through security knows damn well he shouldn't be trying to run he's like running behind him just eat shit in front of everybody then gets up eat shit again they fire him I don't think so I think if my security guard fell like that that's just putting it out that's just putting it out. That's just letting everybody know he can get got. Yep. Yeah, but, bro, he can't even jog.

You're supposed to protect my life. He can't jog. That's what I'm saying. He's got to go. That's a bad look. Whose person was it? DJ Khaled. His security fell?

Eight shit. And it was just wide open area. He's just probably faster than DJ Khaled. That's probably the litmus test. He's just not as athletic. Speaking of. That's what I'm saying. Speaking of, I know you guys saw that Machine Gun Kelly. What?

I don't see anything, bro. Honestly, I don't see anything, man. He's got a fair with Megan Fox, and he got into it with a fan. He punched him? He got punched, and Megan Fox goes flying into the wall. What? Yeah, dude, it was crazy. You haven't seen Megan Fox's Sports Illustrated cover either?

Nope. When was it? I don't see anything, bro. How are these related? Well, the same person. Dude, she is a saint. Orange County Fair. Look at him go.

What's going on here? What is it? Make it bigger. He's a guy in all black. Oh, no. So he's like, what's up? And they're kind of cheering for him. They're like, boom.

Now watch this. He's like, that's all good, baby. Here we go. I got this. Boom like boom now watch this he's like that's all good baby here we go i got this boom you're fired it's like biden i don't think that was his security i might have just been a lead khalid it's a singer oh that's not dj no that's dj khalid it's different khalid oh that's the black guy who sings um i built this city no no it's khalid wait don't say it. I built this city. Everything got messed up. Try that shit in my town.

So hold on. Go to the something happened Machine Gun Kelly. Yeah, can you show that one? What's weird is I know people that work with Machine Gun. Like he is Salto. They're such a nice guy. But then everyone I know that's like outside of that, it's like, dude, he's the worst.

Machine Gun Kelly? Yeah. No, he's cool. But you're famous. You don't work for him. No punching the fucking mouth. Machine Gun Kelly? Yeah. No, he's cool. But you're famous. You don't work for him. He'll punch you in the fucking mouth. That's what it is right there. He seems cool.

I know him. Oh, I almost went to the OC fair. So what happened, though? It's not the video. I don't believe that. You know, he's cool. He's fine. Who knows what happened, too.

But what is the story? Oh, there it is. Megan Fox is slammed. A guy said to Megan Fox, you're beautiful as fuck. Okay. So he took that as like disrespect as fuck. Dim the rules, Chin. Dim the rules.

I know. Would you take offense to it? First of all. If you didn't know me and you're walking at the OC fair and I came up to your girl, I was like, bro. No, no. She got a whack. I know what he would do. Well, that's different.

What? No, somebody said, you know, your girl's famous like this yeah fine as fuck you'd be like this i'd go like this you'd be like yeah i probably would yeah you would you'd be like right yeah you know i mean it's like it's like what are you talking about it depends how aggressive you know is that person 12 that's what i'm saying dude just look what happens to her. Why did it say she gets slammed? Yeah, she's so famous, though. She didn't get slammed. Yeah. She didn't get slammed.

Oh, okay. She got pushed back a little bit. When you're... If you're beautiful as fuck... She's got her balance in college. I'm trying to think. If somebody said, Kristen, you're beautiful as fuck, I might be like, all right, bro, chill.

That might be the most. I do. I know, but... If they yell out, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait. Then I'm like, hey, whoa. I mean, it depends. If it's far away, I'd be like, come on, babe, keep going. Some young kid is just like.

Well, if it's some, yeah, who gives a shit? What I'm saying is the guys, like you're with someone who all these boys have masturbated to. Right, right, right. Hey, and men. Come on. Okay. And grown men at 40. All right.

And so I'm saying like you get to see her in person and you're like, my God, you're beautiful as fuck. If you're getting upset by that. Oh, that's his own insecurities. That's what I'm saying. That's because he's 6'8", 110 pounds. Yeah, but he deals with it all day long, though, man. He's got a target on his back. Everyone fucking talks shit about Machine Gun Kelly.

Don't go to the county fair when you're that famous. I guess. I don't know. He's got to live a life. Can't he chill at the fair? So should he also fly on Spirit Airline with her? That's funny. You know what I mean?

Fair. He's in the middle seat with Megan Fox, and people are like, yo, you're fine as fuck. I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's what happens on Spirit Airlines. That's funny. That's funny. It is a county fair.

That's funny. I like it. But he clearly has anger issues. If you're at Nobu in Malibu. Whatever. I feel i feel for mgk i like him because fucking people always make fun of him dude i'm a fan too his music slaps bro i love his songs his tunes i don't listen to any music so i don't know but i'm just saying ever who's a fan of it i'm just saying it's like at a certain point you have to know how famous you are yeah true true okay that's all yeah he's walking in well he's walking into the county fair in some weird little entrance with megan fox yeah news

flash your girl fine as fuck bro i mean she's top 10 but also don't assault anyone just you know maybe like i fuck you that that's yeah yeah yeah but he knows that, I'm sure. Also, totally different, too, if they're just walking into county fair with no security. You're just walking around with Megan Fox. I'm sure people are saying it's set up, right? People say it's set up. That's what I'm saying. I doubt it. Because that doesn't make him look good.

He doesn't want that. No, but people probably are saying it's set up. I'm not saying it was. I'm sure someone did, but they're stupid, right? And if she likes that kind of behavior. First of all, I wouldn't want to be with somebody who would want you to do that. Gotcha. I don't want to be with somebody who wants to go to the fair.

Oh, my God, bro. Kristen would be like, oh, we got to get divorced. That's why she would. She don't stand for that. That's the straw that broke the camel's back. She's cool. She's like, oh, no, tell you something Let me tell you something Everything She's cool She's like No no no no

Wait hold on She's not cool with everything Taking a lot of work Taking a lot of work See You know what's funny right now Cause she's watching the podcast Right now like

Oh I'm Okay Okay She's not cool with everything Ask her fucking therapist Yeah yeah yeah Yeah No but

I mean I'm just I totally Like when I act a fool if i act a fool rachel is just like no no kristin is she has a thing where she's like if if if if people aren't happy and you fucked it up she will be like she wants everyone to be fucking cool around her and if i start what did i do i did a joke the other day. We were at fucking Wolfgang Puck's in Las Vegas. And bro, I thought that the food was really good. All right, take it easy.

Keep going. No, dude. It was the best food I've ever had. But it was just there. We were so hungry. Like, let's just go here. You know what I mean? And it took an hour to get the food.

And I just, and somebody made a joke, we were all laughing, I went, ha ha ha, food should be here. I said, food should be here, like that,

right? Kristen was like, don't you do it. And I said, do what? She was like, don't do it. I was like,

dude, I'm joking. And she was like, people don't know that and you're famous. What if somebody fucking says something about it? I'm like,

legit point. Yeah, it was a legit point. We're going to find out that Kristen's really a control freak monster. She hits him. Yeah. I wish, man.

I would love that. I wish. You know why you were there? She had a little shiv right in your thing. Shit the fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or she's like, wait till we get back to the fucking room. Oh, okay.

And just an elbow grab, Chris. If you thought Monday night was bad. I wish she would just be a fucking controlling person. Because then I would just be like, all right, dude. I'll just get in line. And then if the shit pops off, it's your's your fault man i just want to be a beta here's the thing though well i can't though we can find that for you it's not your dna bro don't why don't make direct eye contact with me saying that shit here rachel doesn't like when i act up like that either yeah unless she needs something.

Have you ever done it though? Hold on, let me think about this. No, no, no. I'm telling you like this. This is what I'm saying. Let's say she's trying to return some shit to the store. I got you. That's when she wants her man to come to her rescue.

Hey, can you go do that thing that you do? She's like, Eric, get your black hat on now. You're like Batman with the vengeance or whatever the fuck it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to put on a black woman's wig and I'm in the store like, we don't need the receipt. Oh, hell no.

You know we bought the shit from here. When it's time to go off about some shit, I'm the one you want. Oh, I know that. Yeah. All right. When it's like, because I don't like nonsense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's like, what time I was at-

So Kristen wouldn't even want me to do that. One time I'm at the gaming, I'm at the gaming don't like nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's like one time I was So Kristen wouldn't even want me to do that. One time I'm at the gaming I'm at the gaming the GameStop. Yeah. You know and then like I bought a

refurbished whatever. Yeah. It didn't work. I came back and I'm saying like yo man just don't work and he was like well it's not our fault

you know. I was like bro. Yeah. This is your fault. You sold this and this young kid I was like

get your manager. You know get your manager. You know, get your manager. Well, that's some caring shit. That's some caring shit. Your manager's six years old. Yeah. What do you want me to do? No, but I just wanted him to understand the point.

I said, if you're a restaurant and you buy meat from a butcher that's spoiled and you sell it to your customers, it's your fault. Eric was like that one transgender dude. Call me bro again. I'll show you bro. We were watching a movie where the guy was being abusive to his kid.

Rachel was just in a really soft voice. She was like, we're not going to. I don't like this kind of parenting oh oh yeah no shit me neither she was like I don't

no but she was just that's what she yeah if I have a temper yeah yeah yeah yeah we're not gonna do this yeah yeah yeah so I go I get it

until until you know he flushes your yeah Chanel purse down the toilet yeah yeah yeah yeah do your thing

do your thing can you go remember I said we're not doing that do it for this one. Or get them. By the way, just to, we passed all the,

we passed that whatever first trimester test. The hump of, yeah. That's a big deal, yeah. Yeah, the big deal where they're looking at the nose and the spine and everything's cool.

And they saw the nose. That nose checked out. And he was like this in the womb. He was doing like this in the womb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I was like, oh wow, most emotional I've ever been through the whole process. nose checked out. And he was like this in the womb. He was doing like this in the womb. I was like, oh wow. Most emotional I've ever been through the whole process. Was knowing that I was like, oh wow. He doesn't have a tail.

Or whatever it is. And you found out the gender too, huh? You did the blood work? We already do that. Yeah, yeah. It's a boy. We did that here, right? We talked about that here. No, I didn't say that. Oh no? Actually, this is the first time I'm saying that. Yeah, so. Pick a name out yet? Yeah, but I'm not yeah yeah yeah don't don't don't keep it because people back but i had a friend named jamie who i don't like yeah yeah i will say this though like we're keep talking about middle names uh-huh so i had this

rule with rachel though that we have with each other if you say a middle name and you laugh right after then it's off the table okay because she comes up with some like uh yeah wild shit yeah some crazy um uh that's great dude what about cinnamon roll even if she's joking she'll say some things yeah we like something she'll be like well this you know and i'll say whatever you know whatever cinnamon roll griffin then we just start laughing yeah you always got to think what the kids are going to bully him the name for. That's what I always do. What are they going to bully him for? I mean, they're going to get bullied anyway, you know.

Yeah, but if the name's too easy. Not my kids. You named your sons. Yeah. Yeah. Tiger and Boston. Tiger and Boston. Yeah.

What are you, a place? Dude, I could roast, man. You could, yeah. And he could beat you up. We should just dress up as little kids and go like, oh, it's Tiger. Yeah, do it. Do it. My seven-year-old can beat up both of them right now.

Yeah. That's why I wanted to have a little. He puts on one of those red, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your dad likes geography. You like cereal, bro? Yeah. I think the world's all set on

Joes and Bobs and Jays That's why we did it And then also their life's too easy They need a little adversity So they got those weird names They're either going to be professional athletes or strippers The thing about it is Tiger is one of those names That it's like it's 50-50

You know people are either going to be like Oh wow Tiger Or they're going to be like making fun Because it's Tiger He's not successful it either going to be like, oh, wow, Tiger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they're going to be like making fun because it's Tiger. Right. Yeah, if he's not successful, it's going to be tough. No, but you know what? You should tell your kid Tiger things to say. Like if somebody says, oh, Tiger, hi.

And like a really cool thing for him to be like if he starts to get bullied, he'll be like, yeah, and you don't want to see my stripes. You know what I mean? Or like watch out for the claws. You know what I mean? If he says something really cool like that, that's great. Yeah.

If his buddy's from the nineties, my buddy means Eric going, that's great. I just come out of nowhere. You're like, it's great. It's like, what are you talking about?

All the little kids like, wait, what's that? What is that? Isn't that crazy? They actually wouldn't get that. They wouldn't get it. You go like that.

Dude, Tiger could go like, rawr. Just give them cool shit to do, dude. Tell them to call me. I don't know if that's going to work, but yeah. Rawr. Yeah, Tony the Tiger. They don't fuck with like Frosted Flakes.

They don't get it. I'm surprised kids even know Barbie. They don't. That's middle-aged women going that bullshit. Yeah, I think they probably do. Barbie. No, the new thing is American Doll. American Doll. That's what girls want oh american doll yeah like that trumps barbie you never been to that did you just say trump i say trump's again american girl american girl ah you got it wrong

like you got darren dalton wrong the other day it was lenny dykstra you were trying to say darren dalton and i knew something was up about that i said darren dalton and then you said darren dalton was the guy i was talking about then you said yeah he got a car wash he went to a room he dies yeah yeah yes yeah yeah there he is he's not doing that up he's not doing well well he wasn't he might be crushing it now i don't know that the the american up and down yeah it's up and down it's like a stock but uh american doll is american girl or american doll i don't have a girl yet so i don't fucking care american girl american girl but so expensive it's i don't get how parents do it like just to get the doll is like 400 bucks it's a whole thing and then you buy dresses to match

the actual human to the dress it's nuts it's human so hold on it's uh uh four hundred dollars Hold on. It's $400. I got it. I got it. But you got two boys. So you're like, you know. I got it. Hopefully them boys don't want that doll. Then you got a big problem, right? No, you don't.

Try that shit in my town. You don't have a big problem. No, it's cool, dude. No, you'd be so grateful. What are you talking about? I'll tell you what, dude. We're hoping our, my singing voice, Rachel's style. So, for sure gay.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because she was a fashion model. So, it's like we're just prepared for a little. You might have a little. We're prepared for a little non-binary, whatever you call it. You're about to have Magic Johnson, son.

Bro, that's what you're going to have. Who are you telling? I'm ready for that shit. Hell yeah. Rachel's dad is 6'10". Okay? You saw him at the wedding. You didn't fucking show up.

Well, I was on tour. You don't go on tour during. You told me like a month before. Hey, friends. Yeah, you canceled shit. My bad, man. You know what I mean? You showed up to his wedding.

Anyways. I canceled Madison Square Garden to be there. We had a. It's tall. So, Rachel's tall. So, we went to the doctor the be there. It's tall. So is Rachel's tall? So I went to the doctor the other day and that French. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, who's so long?

The long legs. Oh, wow. Just all the long legs. That kid's going to be tall. No, I'm coming out. I'm going to have a basketball in the delivery thing. I'll be like, come on. Defense.

Magic Johnson's son walked around like straight up six-inch high heels. Like bad bitch style. That's fucking sexy. You just took it all away, and there it is. I mean, dude, that'd be dope. That'd be dope. Imagine there's no basketball, and then Shaq is born. Right.

He's just going to be a long guy. What is he going to do? But there's a lot of people who are tall, they don't play basketball. It's so disappointing. And you know. It's bizarre. And they hate the question. You see, because you go like this.

They would hate the question. Bro, you play basketball? No. Yeah. No, I'm just a long guy. I'm just long, bro. If you go to the bank, I haven't been in forever. If you go to the bank and there's a bank teller who's like seven foot, you're like, what happened?

We're surprised you don't go to the bank. You seem like the type that goes with a duffel bag and you just go fill this with 50,000 in ones and then you go to the Ferrari store like. Ferrari store. Ferrari store. I go to the bank every day. You go to the Ferrari store. Every day and I go, so this is where it's all kept, huh? This is where all my money's kept, huh, guys?

You guys are doing a good job. You don't need to go into the digital. No, digital, whatever I'm saying. I don't even know what the bank is. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. Here you go. I tip them.

Do you have a regular bank? Do you have one of those dumb banks? No, I have a regular bank. You don't go to like, you know. What's this? What did he say? I just saw this clip this morning about Magic Johnson. Magic looks sad.

Hilarious. When you first got the information, did you ever say to yourself, it was that nasty bitch from Sacramento who did that? Wait, you. Oh, fuck. You think like that, no question about it. He was asking how he got AIDS. Yeah, yeah.

He was like, do you ever think it was that nasty bitch from Sacramento who gave it to you? You mean nasty dude. Yeah, dude. Nasty dude. In the 90s getting AIDS, it's either drug use or it's a dude. No girl getting AIDS. Figure it out drug use or it's a dude. No girl getting AIDS. Figure it out. Just cop to the drug use.

Otherwise, you got fucked by a dude. I want to try heroin once. I got AIDS. My bad. Magic was out there living his best life. Yeah, no, I'm saying, but like- There's nothing wrong with that, Chris. No, there isn't anything wrong with that.

Try that shit in my tent. Great documentary about magic, though. You got to watch that. Do they cover that, though? Yeah, they cover it when he Cause I'm not trying to see the basketball shit I wanna see the nitty gritty Well they were talking

He was out there You know No that boy was wild He owns the Redskins now Yeah he was out there And the Dodgers He was out there slanging When I was in grade school

I took Gonna end in tears No Cub Scouts And we didn't No you got molested We had a It was someone's mom that was our troop leader.

And I ended up dropping out because it was stupid. We didn't fucking get badges. It was dumb. But I just remember her telling, we were like, oh, it's sad that Magic Johnson has AIDS when we were in like first grade. And she was like, she had like a doctorate in theology. She's very, very religious. And she was like, he had sex with thousands and thousands of women he deserves oh wow she was wrong but there's thousands of dudes so i so i didn't

become an eagle scout yeah but i bet you she wasn't she probably wasn't a looker no no she's a warlock dude she's a cub scout those are always the ones that are mad about. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're being objectified. And it's like, oh, okay. She's a nice lady, though. She's dead now, probably. A little stripped. It is what it is.

She's dead now. Everybody dies. Were you guys Boy Scouts? Yeah, I was. I tried it, and then I was like, what the fuck am I doing? This is stupid. I did the same thing. I did the same thing.

I was in the worst troop ever. I was in this troop that had to like. Are there good troops? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me just explain. We had to go. I was in. I don't know why I joined this one.

I didn't know until we went on our first camping trip. And it was one of these go to the base of the mountain and you have to carry your water and everything, you know, three miles to the campsite. And I was like, what the fuck am I doing? I want to. My shit. You need to pull up. Yep. You can see the car. The campsite. And I was like, what the fuck am I doing? My shit, you need to pull up. You can see the car. The campsite's right there.

Sounds like it's not for you. It's not for me! And then you have to do all this stuff to get your badges. I'll pay for it. You see how many kids get molested as a Cub Scout? I mean, yeah. I've heard about it. I'll tell you what's worse than that is. I just saw this Amish documentary.

The Amish, speaking of documentary. Where are we talking about? Over there. Oh, we were earlier before because you were like really late. Oh, my bad. The one time. Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, shit.

I was scared. I was like, wait, what's's he doing I'm practicing my father look that shit worked practicing my father look I was like I'm sorry this shit was intense dude there's like this really bad horrible documentary about the Amish man

about their sideburns or what no about like how much sexual abuse goes on in these Amish communities well they don't have electricity sins of the Amish. I'm talking about this shit is – I heard about this. This is crazy, the stuff that – I heard about this.

You know? It's crazy, crazy, crazy. Hold on. You heard about this? You didn't hear about Jason Aldean? Oh, I haven't. That's why I love you. It's insane.

I haven't heard about this. Is it Peacock? Oh, yeah. This is everywhere. Jason Aldean, who's that? I thought – I've heard of an older one, but if it's Peacock, then it's – Well, it was on something else, but I think it's now on Peacock. Oh, yeah.

Then I've heard about it. But Peacock is just NBC. Yeah, I've heard of an older one, but if it's Peacock, then it's now. Well, it was on something else, but I think it's now on Peacock. But Peacock is just NBC. Yeah, I've heard about it. But this is terrible, and these women are so angry. So what did they do? Oh, they were abused by their brothers and fathers. And because they're Amish and people are religious, when they get caught, the guys admit to it. Most of them, they're in front of the DA, and they're just like, yeah, I did it. Takes a lot of courage. And then what? Then they go to it. Like most of them, they're in front of the DA and they're just like, yeah, I did it.

Takes a lot of courage. And then what? Then they go to jail. What? Yeah. Or there's a lot of like deals being made. They don't go to jail for as long as they should. Right, right, right.

I'm talking about it's really, oh, man. But someone has to go into the police station and tell them, right? Because they don't have like social media, TV. Exactly. But they are now. Yeah, yeah. That's how they have to go. Go out the horse.

Where do I report something? But there's a lot of people who just want to stay off the grid. They have their families and they go, oh, I don't want to be in society. I don't like the internet. I don't want this stuff. And they go move to an Amish community. Yeah, I'm going that route. I cannot see you in an Amish community.

I don't know. I don't know, dude. But he would try to bring everything, you know? Yeah. He's like the Ferraris out on the farm don't know. I don't know, dude. But he would try to bring everything, you know? Yeah. He's like the Ferraris out on the farm. You know what I mean? You have four horses hauling that. You know how many horses?

He's bringing the milk to the Ferrari like, no, we can't put this in. It's got no trunk space. So stupid. I mean, but that's, if you're going to be Amish, that's how you should be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It're going to be Amish That's how you should Yeah yeah yeah It's going to be my style Are there a ton of Amish or no?

They're kind of They're all in Like Pennsylvania shit Lancaster Ohio yeah Lancaster really? Yeah there's a bunch out here I see them walking around

What? No Yeah I see them walking around dude This guy looks like What's the guy you guys like a lot? What's his name? Zach Brown? No, no, no.

Zach Brown, sorry. No, the actor who's always dressing up in dresses and stuff and acting weird. Looks like a rough version of him. Yeah, Jared Leto. No, that doesn't look like Jared Leto. Man, that's a bad take. I don't like that actor. He's a good actor, but I don't like his shit.

We talked about this, dude. But Jared, he's got like if from here no not at all if he was like a rugged guy that's such a bad take you're usually on too dude look up Jared Leto

he looks like Zac Brown you're 50-50 and this is wrong yeah that's what's bad yeah there he looks like Zac Brown okay

but he also no Jared Leto bro Zac Brown yeah you might as well say he looks like Morgan Freeman no as well Morgan Freeman looks like Morgan Freeman. No.

I as well. Morgan Freeman's bald now. He's on a new show on Paramount+. I've got to check him out. He's 150. Yeah, he just went for it. I lost my hair. Finally. I'm dying tomorrow.

You're so dumb. No, Morgan Freeman in a new documentary, dying. I'll be dead soon. We're going to film until I die. I was going to say, that's the thing. They're just waiting waiting they always think he's about to die he just falls asleep yeah yeah we thought it'd be over by now but that was just a nap let's be 90 yeah i don't know yeah he's got to be 90. 86. that's a that's a lie yeah that's a government. That's great. I hope I'm working that 86. I want to be on a set on 86.

I'm going to be done. I'm going to be done. I want to be chilling. Dumbass will still be like, greatphilia.com. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In skinny jeans. This won't be oops.

It'll be like, oop. Yeah. Get my new Life Rips crutches. I'll be in Kansas City. Yeah. Well, Life Rips will be all about farts at Kansas City. Yeah. Well, the life rips will be all about farts at that point. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you got, Nick? What's Zach Brown want? Life. What is up, Bruno and Eric and Chris? It is your boy, Lukey from Sydney, Australia. Send through some videos back in the day when you were running with that little rat there. Wow. King of the sting. I know you boys be liking your tattoos today. Holy shit.

I'm going to get my ink for you guys. As you can see, pretty heavily tattooed. Tattooed. Believe it or not, I've actually No arms, huh? I've actually raised it up probably 50% of my body and I've been re-tattooing them because Jesus. I don't know. That work is fantastic. Yeah, it is. But I actually

sent through some videos because there are quite a few. What's up with the no arms? Tell me what you think. Is that Hugh Hefner? No, it's fantastic. Yeah, it is. But I actually sent through some videos because there are quite a few. What's up with the no arms? Tell me what you think. Is that Hugh Hefner? No, it's Stanley. While you're at it, please check out my Instagram. It is Lukies underscore tattoos. Tattoos?

Tattoos. Check out my tattooist. His name is Matty Thompson. He's one of the best in Australia. Wow, that's a good holdup. God damn, he's good. Show the cock. Does he have his cock done?

Show me your dick. Where's the good stuff Mad tattoo Oh hell yeah dude Watch and care for those Care for those Claws are near your cock Anybody guys

Tell me what you think Sink my ink It's hard to sink So two T's is a D According to him He can say T He can go Tattoos

Tattoos So what's up with The no arms though That's odd he must be waiting to do them or he's just like oh yeah

he has a job where he's like you know he said he got 50% that's what he said oh he probably got the arms lasered off

and then he dropped some fire on there he's probably got like girls names and stuff yeah some bullshit that's the dumb ones

really good work though insane really good work now weird he got fucking the Avengers on his leg but good work, though. Insane. Really good work. Now, weird he got fucking the Avengers on his leg, but good work. Also, do the original cartoon Wolverine. Don't do Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman would suck you off now. Do Hugh Jackman, but do Hugh Jackman and Kate and Leopold. You know what? He's Australian, though. Hugh Jackman's Australian, right? Do Hugh Jackman and... Brady should run a newsletter that's like underground gay newsletter. I know, way too much. It's like like, it's like Tinfoil Hat. He was like, guess who's sucking off people now?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that would be good. Breaking news. Yeah. In today's suck off news. You guys like Avengers. Yeah. Tobey Maguire is probably sucking someone off right now.

This just in. Tobey Maguire is probably sucking someone off. I've been Brandon Shaw. And this has been brought to you by... Wait, I have a question. There's a bunch of Rogan tattoos. I have a tattoo question. So many people get Rogan tattoos.

Well, actually, there's a Workaholics fans also do those tattoos, and I've seen that they have a tattoo of me. Wow. That's crazy. I would never do that. But you kind of like it, though. These tattoos, that detailed, is it still really a person doing it with the pen?

Yeah. There's no electronics to do it now? Not yet. Will you go inside a machine? Not yet. I mean, there will be. I think it's available, but it's not to the masses, right? Is that right, Nick?

I don't know. How do I look that up? Like a tattoo. Tattoo. Go inside the thing and it just comes out. Tattoo robot. I would do that. Just fucking get it done quickly.

How about Tyga who went under to get their his tattoos done oh yeah for like eight hours anesthesia yep that's so bitch well it's just weird it's so bitch right if you're gonna do it you gotta earn it i suppose i mean he's so tattooed up anyway so i don't think i think he earned it you know i don't really care about that shit at this point if you're your whole body's tattooed and you want to get your back redone you're like dude i just want to go under this time i don't necessarily think that's bitch because you already did it

but it's just fucking, it's crazy to want to get something done that bad that you're just, yeah, that's crazy. Anesthesia is so unhealthy. Those people like,

like Michael Jackson who like went under and fly. Well, I mean, that's rare. We went under just to sleep every day.

I think there's rich people doing that. 17 hours, put me out. What's called Xanies. Yeah. The Xanies. Wake up and you're there.

Where? So you go to- Australia, Germany, pick somewhere. They put you to sleep, and then they wake you up when you arrive. They do that? Yeah. Seriously? Yes.

Dude, you could bring me. I'll just choke you out before the flight. I wake up right afterwards, bro. I still have 18 hours left. That's the real cheap version. It's just- Like, what's he doing there? Brendan comes in. I got him. I wake up right afterwards, bro. I still have 18 hours left. That's the real cheap version. Like, what's he doing here? Brendan comes in. I got him. Tap out. That's real?

Sweet prince. Michael Jackson was doing it. Is that how he died? No, he got his hair on fire? How'd he die? He died from those drugs. They gave him too much sleeping drugs. So they just... I'm gonna fucking... Bro, that's fucking crazy. That is crazy. Damn damn you just found out

Michael Jackson died we keep waiting for the like the cryo Michael the science fiction Jackson is dead I'm done next thing you're gonna tell me

is Elvis is gone no at least we got Kurt Cobain what's this guy like ooh this guy's nose we gotta get him at the meetings No, this guy's got a good nose

I'm getting a PJ I got a question for y'all What do y'all think about The couches At the hospital Oh, the worst Oh, dude This is a great question.

Oh, so cute, man. Oh, that's too cute. Let me know. We got to boycott these things. The floor is better. They're terrible. They're so bad. Oh, you get ready.

It's the worst setup of all time. And you're chilling. It's the worst, bro. For days. Nobody ever talks about how hard it is for the husband. No, the food's awful. For the father. Yeah, they don't care. The food's awful. The setup. It's the worst, bro. Nobody ever talks about how hard it is for the husband. No, the food's awful. For the father. Yeah, they don't care.

The food's awful. The setup, it's like, what the fuck? It's so expensive. Hopefully, you get to leave at least in two days. But sometimes, Calvin waited to be there for three or four days. It was just, oh, my God. You were in the hospital for three or four days? Yeah, he had jaundice, and he had to go under the lamp and shit.

Just like, William, though, boom. You know, just like William though. Boom. He already had a bag. Yeah. Came out the womb with a bag. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. The setup's so bad. Yeah. I mean, what the fuck? It's a good question. It's so, why not just make it a little more comfortable for the parents? I guess money or I don't know.

Hospitals don't get enough fucking money. Yeah, but who wants to spend money when they don't have to though? Yeah, facts. You know what I'm saying? You think these chairs are comfortable? This is more comfortable than the hospital. My ass is on fire every... That sounds like a you problem.

No, it's just my back hurts with this chair. Take it up with human resources, man. Who's that? Me. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it sounds like you bro the worst kind of company that you have

the human resources is the guy you should have walked out and came back in well no it's just me my mom did that

my mom used to be a nurse so she was like way back in the day during racist times yeah you know and a person says to her

we're talking like 40s or what yeah my mom's not that old but she was like she always tells me that story I was like

I need to see that she was going off and then I need to see that. She was going off and then, I need to see the head nurse. And she said, okay, I'm going to go get her. She walked out and came back. What's up? I'm the head nurse. Oh, that's funny, dude.

Yeah, my mom was gangster. That's funny. That's super gangster. All that's fake news, but that's funny. Never happened. Wow. Bad guy. Man, that's a heartfelt story about his mom, man. Just because my mom could beat your mom up.

Yeah, man. My mom could beat your mama yeah man my mom can roast though so can my mom the best of them really my mom is funny as fuck bro my mom but she my mom goes you should let the three moms on for you guys doing oh my god one time i was like so wait how'd you get so funny though? That'd be crazy. He didn't have a dad, man. Yeah, but why did that turn into being funny? Well, my mom was funny. Oh, she was, okay. And she was working all the time by herself. My mom was hilarious.

I remember when we had these, we would fought like a, there was a restaurant called Carnation and it was like the ice cream company. Oh, yeah. But they had like a diner and it was on Wilshire. Okay. So we would go.

That would be our favorite thing to do. So one time we'd go, and she gets a strawberry shake. Oh, I love them, yeah. And I'm like, I want one. She's like, no. We're going to share this one. And she drank it all. Oh, you told me this. Yeah. She drank it all like this.

That's traumatizing. Just looking at me. And I was like, oh, you drank it all like this that's traumatizing just looking at me and i was like oh you drank it all it's fucked up so we're having a fight in the store in the place where i'm like you drank the whole thing and you saved me and he was it a fun yeah yeah yeah fight yeah that's how we that's how we banter that's you eric i know i get this a lot who is it dizzy gillespie yeah people always oh they do yeah people always send me a message if it? Dizzy Gillespie. People always send me messages. If they do the Dizzy Gillespie documentary, you should be... Oh, hell yeah, but they'll never do that. Oh, if Lifetime did a movie on it? This person gives a bunch of details.

They think it's actually your father. Oh. Oh, wow. Oh, I wish. That's going to be your mom's last word. It was dizzy. This is what you want to find out. It was dizzy. Oh, my God. This is what you want to find out.

You'd want to find that out. You'd want to find out that your dad was somebody that maybe you could, you know. You'd be like, oh, I get it. Yeah, they'd be like, oh. The best jazz player of all time. You should just start playing some Dizzy Gillespie around her and just turn it off. If your mom starts crying. Turn it off.

She's all. Yeah. Well, I knew my mom. I knew something was going on. Turn it off. She's all. Yeah. Well, I knew my mom. I knew something was going on. Turn it off. I fucking ate the trumpet. I knew something was going on when she was like, you know, I was in Spain visiting them when they moved to Spain for a little while.

And she was like talking about my father. She was like, I saw your father like three weeks ago on the 10 freeway. Oh, shit. Yeah. That's when I was like, oh, we got to take her to the doctor. Was he playing the trumpet? Oh, got it. I was in the story. I was like, oh, she did. Yeah. Oh, got it. No. She was in Spain. Right, shit. Yeah, that's when I was like, oh, we got to take her to the doctor. Was he playing the trumpet? Oh, got it. I was in the story.

I was like, oh, she did. Yeah. Oh, got it. No, she was in Spain. Right, right. Oh, I see. Oh, okay. And that's when we knew.

It was like I was. Then it was like shortly after she fell down. Yeah, yeah. It accelerated the thing. And then it was like. Right, right. It's never been the same. Fuck.

Damn, this person really thinks that's your dad. Yeah. I mean. I get it. Please show Eric somehow unless it's too personal, of course. Is that what it says? Anyways, probably not, but love the show. Yeah, I don't know.

That'd be great. Dizzy did some tours in LA around the late 60s, early 70s, around the time Eric was born. I bet everything that he had more affairs, once a cheater, always a cheater. Ask Eric. I don't know. His daughter only found out after his death.

This is funny. They're actually trying to pitch this. I kind of believe it. Eric Gillespie? Dad? EGG. Changed my middle name to Gillespie. Whoa.

That'd be crazy if that was your dad. I'm already EGG. Eric Graham Griffin. Boom, another coincidence. Gillespie. Both wear glasses. Maybe that'll be my son's middle name. Call him Gillespie.

I dig it. Gillespie Griffin. What else you got, Nick? Is that it? That's it. Damn. That's cool, man. We found out who your dad is.

Hey, tomorrow comes to the Irvine Improv. Don't. Wow. It't. Wow. It's so rude. You're not even going to have a follow-up? Wear my merch. Just don't catch any shit. If you go, wear my merch, but don't go.

It's fucked up. I'll be in Brea. And then also I'll be in Charlotte, North Carolina, Knoxville, and Little Rock, Arkansas, and Nashville. Chrisley.com. I'm at the Ice House this Friday. Shopping friends. We got Jay Moore and a bunch of other funny people. Don't go..com. I'm at the Ice House this Friday. Shob and friends. We got Jay Moore and a bunch of other funny people.

Don't go. 8 p.m. at the Ice House. It's almost sold out anyway. Yeah. And then August 11th, Stand Up Live Phoenix. Two shows, one Friday night. And I'm in Omaha. Don't go.

Fly to me. Omaha and Kansas City in August. I think that's it. I'm forgetting one. Oh, I'm in Ohio too, end of August. Where? Liberty Town Hall in Columbus. Cool.

Get you some. Love it. I'm starving. Okay. Gillespie, take it easy. Love you guys. Thank you.