The Golden Hour - Trying Adult Diapers | The Golden Hour #137 w/Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: June 20, 2025The guys discuss what it would be like if they transitioned and talk LA riots, the awesomeness of Patagonia jackets, favorite snacks, Erik checking in his video game consoles at the airport, ...urination complications, favorite underwear colors, Erik performing at Dave Schapelle’s comedy club and hanging with him, Brendan and Chris' stories about meeting Orlando Bloom and much more! Get this episode AD FREE + 2 PATREON ONLY episodes/month only at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastFITBOD - Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE for seven days at http://fitbod.me/GOLDENHOURDraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code GOLDENQuince - Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to http://quince.com/golden to get free shipping and 365-day returnsDrive Fast All Gas Giveaway - Enter to win my Custom 800+ Horsepower RAM TRX + $10K cash: https://drivefastallgas.com/collections/new-releasesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
It's like a show you used to love, just rebranded enough
It's stronger, bigger power cuz it is the
Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Mine is kind of mine. Yeah mine. I thought mine was kind of green actually, but it's not I think it's gray. I think it's gray
Well, that's Heather gray Heather gray, that's what that's called. Yeah think it's gray. Well, that's Heather Gray.
Heather Gray?
That's what that's called. Yeah.
It's all about women with you, huh?
No, it's...
Is that Julie Gray over there?
It's only Kristen Gray.
Kristen, that's how you do it.
No, there's Heather...
You guys like this Rachel Gray?
Heather Gray is like that with the white in it and shit.
Who thinks of those?
I don't know.
I wanna get the Texas update.
I wanna know about the new gym you're going in.
Did you have to establish yourself at the prison yard?
Like, strongest man in the gym is here.
Bah bah bah bah.
No duh.
So the gym I go to near my house is called raw power. And I'm there so early.
There's not too many people, a few other meatheads.
But then today I went to Tim Kennedy to this gym.
There's just a ton of black belts, like some real, some real killers.
Or you do martial arts there or no?
Did I what?
Martial arts, or is it like fucking, uh, martial arts?
Yeah.
Don't call it martial arts.
I say martial arts because mixed martial arts is that's like something kind of like
cornball say now I stepped it up by saying martial arts.
Well, we did a little Tim's crazy. So we did a little bit of crossfit.
We did boxing and then we did grappling. Got it. Okay. So well, that's a big workout.
But wait, did you also work out at raw power earlier? I saw hilarious name for a gym.
Yeah, I did. So you did two workouts?
Two workouts today.
And you were grappling with other Texas men?
Is that what was happening?
Yeah.
So it's super gay over there, huh?
You just come in, greased up.
There's a lot of alpha males out here, man.
Wow. So you went to raw power,
and then you just fucking used your raw power.
A lot of raw power going on today, man. A went to raw power and then you just fucking used your raw power.
A lot of raw power going on today, man.
A lot of raw power.
Did anybody test you yet though? I want to know.
People were like, oh, shab's here.
Oh yeah. No, but they're all, everyone's cool. There's no egos.
Like especially out there, there's a lot of black belts. So everyone's cool.
No one's trying to take my head off. Yeah.
There's one guy who got a little frisky with one of the guys.
Then he went with Tim and they started trading blow for blow,
like straight up Tim.
Is that a bullet wound on your, uh, is that what happens at raw power?
You get shot. It looks like you're bleeding dude on your, on your, on your leg.
Deadlifting on your shin. Oh no dude. I fucking, I ran into a,
I ran into a desk yesterday doing a podcast.
Tim was here. So I pretended it didn't hurt, but it hurt so bad.
Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. It looks terrible. Oh dude. Is it bad?
No, it's fine, dude. Oh dude. It hurts.
That's where you get it from. Deadlifting, bro. I'm very fit.
What have you guys been doing? How's LA the riots still going on? Do you guys make the work okay? Yeah, the one block of riots. Like literally one block.
The opera's still going on two blocks away.
It's much to do about nothing, really.
I went downtown and I just saw a bunch of cops, really.
That's all I saw. I didn't see anybody doing anything crazy.
Did you get an alert going to LAX where they were saying maybe you need to go early because of protests? And I was like, what are you talking about? I didn't see anybody like doing anything. Did you get an alert like going to LAX where they were saying like maybe you need to go early because of protests and I was like what are you talking
about? I didn't see anything. I got to LAX and everything was fine. Yeah I didn't. No.
There's nothing. You have the news out here because I'm not out there. It seems like it's
Armageddon out there. It's so weird how they make it seem bro. It's so weird. I know they do it but
it's just like. The news does it for views. But also I know how it is.
Like people are like, man, you got out of LA just in time.
I'm like, buddy, I'm nowhere near that.
No.
And when people complain about the homeless,
I never saw a homeless guy unless I went downtown.
And also like the fires was one thing because that was bad.
That was terrible.
But where are the protests?
It's like a few blocks.
Yeah, it's like this little area? It's like a few blocks. Yeah, it's like this little
Little area but where there's like a freeway and they're doing some terrible stuff right there Like throwing rocks at cars like that. It's like what are we how's this? How's this helping anything?
I have a gig there tomorrow. So I
Just ever worked has it ever worked out
Protests are just like when athletes like yell at the ref
after a foul.
Yeah.
They've never heard returned anything.
And then, does it work?
You don't need protesting.
It's never worked.
You have Twitter, you know?
Like put that rock down.
Get your phone, tweet.
Yeah, the internet is taking a lot of stuff away.
So you just know, like people that do graffiti now,
I'm like, what are you doing?
It's all, yeah.
What are you doing?
And hookers on the street.
What are you doing? Yeah. all, yeah. What are you doing? And Cokers on the street. What are you doing? Yeah.
Chat chat. What about chatter bait?
Have you ever done that? Oh man. Back when it first started,
I didn't know what it was. It's just all Dick. Well, yeah. Because what,
what is it? Is that the thing with the current? The frog? No, no, no.
It's just like you, you, you, you like, you like Tinder, but with videos and people with dicks around,
but it's random. Like you randomly are supposed to like a video comes up and
then you, and then you too, like match or whatever, but you never,
you always think you're going to match with like, you know, Heather Gray.
Did you ever, that's funny. Did you ever see Brendan, the, the thing,
the video with Kermit?
That's where he's showing his day.
Yeah, I'm the one that I thought I was the one that introduced you to that.
What I thought that's chatterbait.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I know it's fun.
So you can get Kermit on there.
Oh, God. Yeah, but that would be like, how are you doing?
Yeah, you're good. You're looking for, though.
Watch what I'm looking for. For doing? Yes, you're good. You're looking for though What's what I'm looking for is for sure
Yes, I love it. If you're on chatterbait, no hot chicks are on there
Because they're gonna be you got to pay for it. Yeah, there's gonna be only men
They're gonna be only men and then only
Really really mentally fucked up women, you know, we should do on for, you know, we should do that on the right here.
We should do it on a Patreon. We should just go on chatterbait,
but it's our podcast.
Yeah. Oh my God. There we go.
In another people.
But is there an, what's the, but chatterbait was a while ago. Now I think it's,
uh, it's probably a different one now. Right. Isn't it?
But also is anybody making money on chatterbait?
I don't know. I don't think it's a, I don't think it's a money thing one now, right? Isn't it? But also is anybody making money on chatterbait? I don't know.
I don't think it's a, I don't think it's a money thing. I don't, I, I think,
I think it's a, I think you have to subscribe. Okay. But it's not like,
so why would you give it for free? Why wouldn't you just get on only fans?
There's a fighter, there's a fighter, Corey Sandhagen and Nick,
I'm sure you heard this where he just starts showing his nuts and he was making,
they said $2 million.
That's not gonna last, okay?
And I don't believe that.
Yeah, that's exactly it.
Look it up, look it up, look it up.
Bro, you can look up anything.
Nick, look it up, Nick.
Nick, I know I'm not there, look it up.
Look up anything.
It would be awesome if Brendan was wearing a skirt
and we saw his pussy when he opened up his legs.
Fuck him bro.
Yeah, are you doing the,
what is this, are you gonna Sharon Stone this right now?
Bro, what is, I know this is not good podcast material
or material at all, but what if Brendan had a pussy?
What if we didn't know?
And he just had the hairiest pussy.
I was just super, I just went like this,
I was super trans this whole time.
Hell yeah, bro.
I would, I feel like, I would understand you more.
You know what I mean?
Raw power and grappling.
I get it, bro.
Well this, that'd be great surgery, right?
Oh, so like you're saying he would have been a,
well yeah, he would be a woman if he has a pussy surgery.
Yeah.
So it'd be like, wow, okay.
But I think you see that a lot though.
I think, I think it looks better
I think it looks better when a woman is now a man
Because yeah, cuz they're there they're they're nicer looking and then and it's easy to look get buff and all that stuff
Oh, I think they look I think they look better
Oh, the only way a guy looks like a good girl is you have to be like they have to already be like Casey
You know what I mean? Like little, you know what I'm saying?
Like thin and first of all.
Small shoulders.
Yeah, exactly.
They naturally have to be like feminine, like, you know?
Casey is a bad example of his hair.
I'm just saying he's tiny.
But he would be a cute little girl.
He's not really though, he's not.
He's kind of like, you know, he's very,
he's definitely manly.
You gotta be feminine.
You gotta be feminine like the lady boys in Thailand.
You know who would look, you know, who would look,
you know, obviously we're friends, so he'll, you know.
But Matt Reif would be a good woman.
Before he started working out.
Right.
That's my whole point.
Wait, what?
But he has it in him to do that shit.
No wonder I'm sure that, thank God.
Hell yeah.
I never wanna see that again.
We are, come get it, Chris.
So.
I've had it in my favorites for like four years.
So.
Come get it, Chris.
So Brendan.
Have you ever seen Shears?
I think. Oh no.
Shear had a daughter.
Oh yeah. In the transition.
That's right.
You know, man.
I think Chet, Chet Bono. Yes, Chas. Chas Bono. He was the first famous one.
Charles Boner. Yeah. It looks like a proper man though.
Well that's cause she's, she's been in it. She's too, she's heavy in this game.
Right. She's like RuPaul. She's like,
well it's just like, what's her face? Yeah. You're all women too.
What's her face that turned, you're all women too.
What's her face?
Caitlyn Jenner?
No, no, no, no.
The famous girl that turned into a guy.
RuPaul.
No.
That's a guy still, right?
On the Bud Light Can?
No, no.
She was on Umbrella Academy.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
She was in Juno.
What's her name?
Juno Girl, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
Ellen Page.
Ellen Page. Ellen Page. Now we have Page. Oh, oh yeah. Ellen page. Ellen page. Ellen page.
Well, what I'm saying is that, that she looks like she could be a waifu guy.
Yeah. Yeah. You look like she looks like a good looking, like young, you know,
no, she looks like a fuck. It does. A 17 year old, uh,
kid who is a, you know, in Britain, but like,
no, no, no. She looks like a girl that chopped her tits off and cut her hair.
What are we talking about? I don't know. She kind of like, Oh look, Oh look,
what are you talking about around the corner?
Right. Yeah. Come on.
She was cute. She was cute in June.
Dude, I think that that is so wild. Wow.
She actually was cute, yeah.
Super cute in Juneau.
And now her career is, she has to, what's the deal?
What's she doing?
She's on Fighter and the Kid.
She's the co-host of Fighter and the Kid.
Awesome. She's in the fucking tanks.
Awesome, so.
Like, I wanna see somebody like this now,
like, she looks like, or he looks like
any of these new action stars now.
They all look like this.
I want to talk about this because I want to talk about this because if you're
okay, so the he, her thing, like I, I, I, when I,
when I posted my thing about Caitlyn Jenner, my bit online, I called her,
I called her she, and this is, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
because first of all, it's funny. Second's funny second of all if you go through the surgery
All right, dude you've earned it yes
Fucking earned it bro. If I cut my dick off, you'll call me whatever I want, bro
Yeah, yeah, yeah, correct. Okay, so but you have to show it all the time. Yeah
Are you kidding me?
No, for proof.
Do you see what I've done?
It's like a passport.
It's when you half ass it.
If you half ass it and you still got that big root
in the front.
Even just.
But you just get tits.
Just tits.
Nah, bro.
You're Ben.
You're Ben.
You'll always be Ben.
The private part under your pants.
If you switch it, then dude, props.
Although I don't think that what you did is crazy.
It was wild mutilation. I hope you think that what you what you did is crazy with the wild mutilation
I hope you're happy but my gosh
Okay, ma'am, you know what? That's the first. Okay, so the top of the list
Yeah, it's ma'am, but you know the second one after that is like they do this like
Shave down of their face and Adam's apple. I think if you do that, too, that's that's a
You're not a woman though. I know, but no, but yeah, you are.
Wait, what you've earned it. Yeah. I'm with her. You've earned it.
No, I'm not talking about they shaved down their bones structure. Yeah.
Shave their cheekbones.
And they cut out their Adam's apple and all that stuff, man. Yeah. If you do,
that's number two on the list. No, there's only one on the list.
Yeah. Like you can't just get tits and be like,
it'd be like me getting tits and be like, I'm Sarah now.
Tits, tits, no.
You're not Sarah unless you get a pussy, Brendan.
Yes.
And shave your face down.
I said that's number one.
Okay, that's number one.
There's only one, it's a highlander.
Dude.
There can only be one.
Sarah, hey, cut your dick off and take your balls off and put a little hole in it
And now you're Sarah know what so Sam you would tell Sam to do that not Sarah
fact yes
Yes
Right right yes until then you're Sam, dude
That's the rule you did the bone thing I don't care go talk to me
I'm not they didn't try to talk to you like this. The target you go, wait,
do you have a pussy? No. Well, you're Sam.
Until you get a pussy, you're Sam. Okay.
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M E slash golden hour. That's F I T B O D dot M E slash golden hour. What's crazy. You ever seen this statistics of those
that actually go through with the surgery? You've seen the
suicide statistics. Yeah, it goes up like fucking 400% after
they do it. I feel like Britain's not real. He has an
app on his phone
and it's just like, it goes weird facts, you know?
Then he hands it on his phone and he goes,
guys, you guys see that statistic?
I got it right here on the,
no, no, it's exhausting.
Snapplepops.com.
It alerts me anytime someone chops their dick off.
It's exhausting.
Snapple.
You keep you drinking so much Snapple, bro.
He's like, he's just kidding.
Oh wow, guys.
Oh man, suicide rates go up 400%.
We have to transition.
It's on, you know what?
These kinds of stats are on like protein drinks.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
No, it's on Bazooka Joe bubble gum.
Yeah, it's on creatine bottles.
What if we did like, oh shit,
look how many trans people killed themselves.
What if we didn't realize,
what if we didn't realize what if we didn't realize that
that was how racist and trans and homophobic bazooka Joe always was back
then you look you read reread the comics like in the thing you're like oh my god
poor crackerjacks the crackerjacks fucking bazooka Joe is straight up
fucking with a tiki torch outside of the fucking you know what
he's heading the charge in January 6 I swear to god what happened to crisis
we're burn across tonight at 9 p.m. this is strange what happened what cracker
jack I got hot take they were never good you know they weren't Wow
nah and your dad never took you a baseball game as a kid huh that's fine
oh bro yeah I did are you kidding kidding me? Howard Johnson. No, you didn't.
Are you kidding me?
Kevin Elstrup.
No, you didn't.
Are you kidding me?
Fucking David Cohn.
Are you kidding me?
You're just naming players.
Yeah, bro, because I saw them all live.
Mookie Wilson.
Are you crazy?
What?
Mookie Wilson?
At the Met's Shea Stadium.
Are you crazy, dude?
And you never had Cracker Jacks?
Would your dad discipline you?
I have had Cracker Jacks.
That's why I know I don't like them, dude.
Hello, Dave Magadon. Crackerjacks would your dad discipline you have crackerjacks. That's why I know I don't like them dude. Hello
Dave
Hell yeah, bro, but our crackerjacks just what do they call? What does it called something?
Caramel popcorn. Yeah, there you go. There you go. See that's what it is. So there you would not be came with nuts though
I'll tell you what I'll tell you what guys I was in Florida the other week a few days ago. Mm-hmm and
I don't look a little tanner. No. Yeah, right. I don't even want to thank you
I don't want I have been being outside more but I don't want to be first of all on the way to Florida
I was sleeping and the and the stewardess woke me up to see if I wanted to eat
Right, I know you're the worst bro. Who would want that?
You know what's even worse is when I had on like when they say I did your seatbelt on they wake you up for you see
It's also like did you see the news did you see the news plane crash? Yeah, you think this seat belt
What if she was like well that one guy made it out alive
I'd say fair point, but he's an 11a and I'm in 22b. It's southwest. So fuck off. I just I hate all that
So I was in Florida and I ate bro. I sometimes you just get the rights
You know what I think of how about snacks are sometimes you ever put on a Patagonia jacket and you go
Get it. Yeah. No, no, no because Patagonia you think of it as like hey, no, all right
They pull it up. You're not a Patagonia. You're not as developed as I am. I'll tell you this much
You put on the right Patagonia jacket. Oh my god, bro. It's like a guy's angry saying you look
Yeah, fucking dope all y'all. Well, you look like a
dad, but yeah. Yeah, but it's you're old enough though. Okay.
I agree. Sometimes you get a snack and you be eating that
snack and you go, where does snack been all my life, man? And
I ate. Okay. Tell me the connection between the
Panagotia jacket and the. Because it's a sleeper. Because it just fits right.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Wait, Chris, what snack was it though?
You're so stupid.
So stupid.
What snack was it?
Was it those like graham crackers?
No, but those hit, those hit.
Those hit.
What was those hit?
Those are made by Patagonia practically.
On the plane?
No, no, no.
I was in the hotel, room service was over.
I'm looking at the fucking shit they have, you know?
And I'm like, I'm not gonna eat Sour Patch Kids,
what am I, 11?
$18 Sour Patch Kids?
Whatever.
So I go, I look, I'm like,
check out these fucking slow roasted cashews.
Ooh.
It was like, I fucking mouth was in your room Patagonia.
Yeah, bro.
It was so good.
I was having such a good time.
No, no, no pants on just Patagonia jacket.
Just laying, laying in the hotel.
Do you still?
Yeah.
Yep.
Do you still bring your video games to hotel?
Hell yeah.
Isn't it a lot though? I don't care. Yeah. yep. Do you still bring your video games to the hotel? Hell yeah. Isn't it a lot though?
I don't care.
Yeah, okay.
I don't care.
And do you put any carry on, Eric?
No, no, no.
You know what, now?
I just check it in now.
I actually hate carrying any,
I just want my backpack and nothing else.
I hate doing this.
You gotta get up and kick it,
and then people are in the way.
I just wanna be like this.
Backpack, now, I don't even have to get on the plane first.
Even though I can, cause I'm like 1K and that kind of shit.
Now I realize, you know what?
I want them to almost call my name.
Final call.
No, that's some whole shit.
No, that's some whole shit.
Cause then you gotta wait after the flight.
You gotta wait at baggage claim.
It's another 30 minutes, man.
Yeah, but I'm gonna wait at baggage claim anyway.
Bro, if you gotta bring, you gotta bring,
if you're gone for a weekend,
you're bringing enough clothes to fit a big bag
Yeah, now all your Sarah watch your undies your undies in the sink
Just bringing in the fucking like it like it's prison, you know to me he makes his own wine in the toilet
No, I get some fucking streaks in my undies do I wear more than one day. I'll get some hooch. No, I'll get some fucking streaks in my undies too. I wear more than one day. I'll be honest.
Ew.
Ew, it happens.
You know what, I gotta tell you,
I never used to take enough underwear.
No, we know Eric does it.
Now Rachel, because of Rachel, she was like,
she goes, you have to take two underwears per day.
Oh no.
What?
Well, he does.
I go, what are you talking about?
I don't do that.
You have to. Hey Eric, are you talking about? I don't do that you have to hey Eric
Are you like the only dark colored underwear marks? Yeah, I shit and pee on myself all the time
For me and I prefer a
On myself all the time
Listen, you're gonna get to a certain age where I don't care how many times you shake some pee
You don't come out push under your balls hit the tank. That's right. You know what? I tried that, boom.
But you still got a wipe.
You tried it, he didn't try it, he turned it down.
It feels like there's a little bit of pee
that doesn't want to go out.
It's going like this.
Now you ain't gonna hit me.
You ain't gonna hit me.
Eric, are you rocking the whitey tighties?
You seem like a whitey tighties type of dude.
No, no, no, no, I like boxer briefs.
Well, he wears brown underwear, but.
No, I don't.
All different colors. I only do dark colors, yeah. I do dark colors too, I guess, but there's I don't. I only do dark colors.
Yeah, I do dark colors too, I guess, but there's no way there's shit in my bar in my pan.
There is.
There is.
In my crack maybe, but I am also on that Metamucil shit.
So you just double tapered.
I'm beautiful.
Double tapered.
You ever seen that George Brett thing?
You ever see it, Brendan? No. Oh no. you gotta play it. Wait, you haven't seen this? No. Are you kidding me? Shipped my pants last night?
Yeah, shipped my pants last night
Double-type of shit
You play it. Can you hear the audio?
Go go go. They're stretching. Ford it. Ford it. I shit my pants last night.
I did.
Went out and had a great meal,
just a great fucking meal.
I had to go to the bathroom so bad in the car,
I'm going, oh, hurry up, man, I gotta shit.
I had fucking shit in my pants.
I'm with this guy.
The sound guy.
Look, it's inaudible now.
It gets bigger.
Bro.
This is my guy. Went to Kokomo's, a great little steakhouse. The guy brings out some fresh crab legs.
I'm not gonna give them to you guys.
I'm eating them, then we go play gambling.
We'll pause it for a sec.
So the great thing about this is this is George Breth,
the Golden Glove fucking legend.
He's talking to younger players on the team stretching getting
ready for the game mic'd up just fan that all day yeah all right so go ahead
I have a tee time early in the morning so I said look I gotta get going I'm
walking back to the hotel I get three quarters away out of the lobby and all
of a sudden I go oh fuck I'm standing like this, I got my butt pinched so fucking,
I'm fucking can't move.
All of a sudden, you know, felt all right,
I went just like this.
Oh.
Water.
I had some food poisoning from the crabs.
Look at the guys looking at him.
I took off my leather jacket,
tied it around my waist,
I'm just standing there and it's just running down my waist.
So I'm jeans on, black bucks, no socks.
And I start fucking walking.
Every time I'm walking, something's coming out.
I'm just waiting for the water.
Just check how sick I was.
Then I'm standing outside my phone, I call the guy.
I said, Larry, you won't believe this. I'm standing outside the fucking blodger. Water
When Ethan hunt did this
Impossible
Okay stretching over and he meets me where I'm standing. I tell him where I'm standing. The guy's stretching. He finds the closest bathroom. When you go up the escalator, you go into the fuck- I can't get in the elevator.
It's a couple o'clock at night.
You know?
Wait till the end.
Then he finds the closest bathroom in a lobby of the hotel.
They're all walking away.
And he kind of pretends like he dropped something so no one gets behind me.
He tells me where it is, I go in there.
He goes and he gets the towel all wet for me.
He throws it over the fucking stall. I take off all my fucking clothes just wipe off leave my
shoes left my shoes my pants look they're walking away everything right
there the towels right there in the stalls guys like watch watch watch watch my shirt
and his pants that are 48 ways through the lobby like this midnight got up in
the morning took the most perfect double-t tapered shit. I've ever had my life keep watching
double tape watching
That was him trying to recover because no one was feeling his story all the young players like yeah, cool Yeah, I love that. I love that. That's like, you know, it's like, that's just how it is. When you shit yourself, you shit yourself.
I know, but that video is the creme de la creme
of some internet videos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who is the pictures that we got today?
The other day I was like,
water.
I had to go to, I was in San Diego this weekend
and I'm driving to San Diego and I waited too long.
I didn't want, I was like, been out of town so much,
I was like, you know what, I wanna hang out with Wolf.
You know what I mean?
But then I'm gonna be late for the show.
And I had to pee.
I just jump off the freeway and just pull over
and do that thing.
Brandon's done this before.
You just go, you stand in the back door,
open the back door.
I've done that.
Okay, but now I'm back on the freeway
and now I'm really gonna be late and I have to pee again
So I'm looking around my car again. Yeah, I was crazy. I had it but I found like a guy
I have like an old like a thermos type thing. Yes. Oh, that's my I just
Dick and face fucked it. Yeah, I just I'm in the car
But you still got piss on your pants about it, it Eric. No, no, no. It's tough.
I didn't.
I didn't.
I didn't.
You know what?
And I had a diaper in the car from, you know.
Disgusting.
You ever piss in a diaper, bro?
Wolf diapers.
Where to go?
Come on, bro.
That's crazy.
You piss in a diaper, you go, where the fuck is your car?
I've done it.
I was thinking I should have just done that.
I should have just wrapped and just seen it.
But I was thinking it might not work.
It was on drive-by.
What's Montez doing? Yeah, I know, dude. But I was thinking it might not work. Drive by.
What's Montez doing?
Yeah, I know, dude.
But I just.
He's got a diaper on his balls.
When you had to go, you had to go?
On his, not the self-driving car, just.
A kid's diaper's not gonna hold that big ass.
No, I know.
Yeah.
Gallon of piss.
But I get adult ones.
That grandpa pee that I had to do?
Yeah.
I get adult ones.
I get adult ones.
You get adult ones?
Yeah.
Yeah. It makes sense.
I put one, I got sold.
When I started waking up to pee,
cause it happens when you're 40s or maybe.
Yeah.
How many times you get up at night to pee?
Once.
Once, two, maybe.
Okay.
But.
Once.
But it usually isn't until like, you know, 5 a.m.
Right, right, right, right, right.
So when that started happening,
I got, I started getting so angry.
Okay?
Now.
You just mad at yourself?
You just yelling at your dick?
What are you doing?
You don't know about this story?
All right, so.
But are you drinking some before bed, Chris?
Are you drinking like a Capri Sun
or some shit before you go to sleep?
Hey, you're me in this situation.
This is what I was thinking.
I go, am I drinking too much before I go to bed. Hey, you're me in this situation. This is what I was thinking. I go, I might drink it too much before I go to bed.
Let's try to narrow this down.
Let's use deductive reasoning.
Let's try to see.
Let's Sherlock Holmes this.
If I can be dry.
Yeah.
Right?
So I go through a few nights of trial and error.
Obviously no water right before I go to bed.
Empty out before I go to bed. Empty out before I go to bed.
You know, every...
It's just now I guess I'm at the age where that's going to happen.
OK, so now I'm mad.
Now it's a week or two go by.
It's happening every day.
And I go, it's because of anxiety.
What is this? And I go, this sucks because
because I don't want it. I don't want it to happen. It's my body.
Uh-huh. Your choice.
And it's still happening.
Yeah.
So I get mad at my body.
I go, fuck you, bro.
You push yourself.
It's not you.
It's me.
It's me.
Talk your dick.
It's me, bro.
Right?
So I go, what can I do?
So I know there's adult diapers. Okay, so I'm like my body ain't getting the best of me. Fuck you. I
Order the adult diapers. My body one they come I
Fuck and put the adult diapers on I go to sleep now. Look Kristen, obviously, you know, it doesn't look good. She's like you
No one wants to fuck you Ter you're in the dog park.
They're terrible, they're frilly, they look awful.
Sexiness is out the window.
You know what, come to the right, that's great.
And so, and so, so, but I have a money
and I don't give a fuck dude, I'm owning it.
Like I'm like. Good for you.
Yeah, my body, she goes like this, ew, I go,
my body's not, nah, throw, I'm in charge of my body,
not my body. You understand?
Yeah, but the thing is you're still up.
What do you mean though?
It's not like you were sleeping and you woke up and peed. You consciously had to go like this.
Nah, I'm not getting out of bed.
So hold on. So hold on. So hold on.
Right?
So I wake up because I have to pee. Five per day. And I go like this. I go like this.
So I go like this, I go like this. So I go like this.
All right, let's do it dude.
Fuck you, I ain't getting up body, right?
Fuck you body, I ain't getting up.
I sit there and now I'm like, oh fuck,
I kinda can't pee because I'm not over a toilet.
So now I'm like waiting and the pee's doing the thing
where it's going like, bloop, bloop, bloop.
Not coming out, you know where it's going like bloop bloop yeah bloop not coming out you know it's catching itself and i'm like come on man just relax relax relax relax relax i'm
relaxing finally uh it starts to come and um the piss i relax but i'm mad i'm too mad my heart's
beating because i'm mad i would have already been back asleep
If I went to go pee and come back, okay?
Yeah, that's my point!
But here's the deal though. So I just I'm like I'm gonna make this happen. Fuck you body. I got this and so I pee in the diaper
Okay now I'm peeing in the diaper and as I'm peeing in it, I'm thinking wow
My pee is just evaporating into the diaper. My wife is asleep next to me.
I'm just fucking 40, like, okay?
Evaporating into the diaper, okay?
And I'm still pissed and I'm like,
this thing fucking works, bro, okay?
Yeah, I know you woke up in a puddle of piss.
It did work, okay?
Until, until there's a moment where then the diaper goes,
that's all the diaper I got.
Okay?
So I go, so I go, I let it go.
The diaper, it started coming out of the diaper
and I go, nah, come on, man.
Maybe it go, like I'm like, this has to work.
Maybe it goes back in or some shit.
Bro, idiot.
It pissed, I pissed the bed, bro.
I pissed all over the bed.
I pissed all over the bed. Of course you did.
I pissed all over the bed. I got so mad I had to get up get a towel.
Now I'm sleeping on a towel. Bro I was awake for like a fucking hour.
Yeah.
My buddy got me. My body got me.
Did you piss on Kristen?
No, no, no. But I told her all about it.
Oh man.
We had to change the sheets obviously when we woke up.
Obviously.
I tried it two, three times. It never fucking worked.
Of course it did. So you pissed the bed. Yeah. Long two, three times, it never fucking worked. Of course it never worked.
So you pissed the bed.
Long story short, you pissed the bed.
Yep.
So now you're getting up.
I know it sucks.
Just angry.
But there's those things that you can hook your penis to.
Too much.
Yeah, maybe I don't.
Because what if we could roll over and shit?
Yeah, you can't, unless you sleep on your back.
Yeah, it's nice to do that.
And if you're gonna have one of those,
it should also be a blow job machine at the same time.
Or you could just get a blow job machine.
Have you ever tried one of those things?
You put them, because you use them for racing.
Like when I race, so you don't have to stop,
you take, it looks like a condom, but they're extra tight,
and it's a fucking condom connected to a hose,
but it's super tight.
Mine came off within two minutes of racing,
and I just pissed my pants
Yeah, well, that's probably also because you were like rolling the train long. Were you?
How long did you go for a race? Oh the laps like four hours, dude
And you got a piece I drink so much fucking diet coke. I had to piss every fucking 20 minutes
I just pissed my pants. Why did you do four hours of racing?
That's what it's what it takes man. Six laps. You're not a racer.
Yeah, me racer. Now? Me racer.
They gotta piss man. How do you think NASCAR guys do it?
No, I understand they do it dude. I'm not like fucking they but they don't show that part in
Speed Racer, you know, they're going to the car. Don't I want to don't don't don't don't show that part in speed racer, you know, they're going to go down down down down down down Down. Hey, I got a P.
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I gotta tell you guys about,
I went with Matt Rife to Chapelle's Club
in Yellow Springs.
Yeah, yeah.
Where's that, Ohio?
Yes, in Ohio.
Yellow Springs is such a small,
it's only like two blocks.
Yeah, okay.
This club he has is just fantastic.
How many does it seat?
It doesn't seat a lot of people, man.
I think 180 at the most.
And then it's got a restaurant area.
But it was like a five man control room.
They had six cameras.
Like he could film there and then hand it to Netflix.
What's the population look like there?
Is it all white?
It's Ohio.
Is it all white or is it St. St. Jebel?
You know what's weird about this little town?
It's mostly, yeah, it's all white.
But this little town is very progressive.
It was like, I saw a lot of rainbow flags in the stores
and stuff.
It's actually a really,
but people come from all over the place.
They go to go see that.
Yeah, they go, because it's like people know.
That means they have good coffee.
Oh, they have great coffee there.
Of course, yeah.
There's coffee place.
And then he hosts, he's hosting the show.
He comes out and hosts the show and he's doing his thing
and I'm sitting there like, oh shit, it's Dave Chappelle.
You know what I mean?
He brings me up, you know what I mean?
And I was sitting to the crowd, I was like,
I don't know what y'all do for a living,
but if the best at it, possibly ever,
is introducing you at your job,
I don't know if you know what's happening right now.
I was like, this is like if I was at McDonald's
doing fries and I look over,
and Ronald McDonald is flipping burgers. That's stupid. You're doing something right. You'd be like, Ronald what you doing here?
You know what I mean? But that was just like, I don't know. I gotta say this man.
Eric, how many were on the lineup? It was you, Dave, Matt?
It's just me, it's just you, me and Matt. That's it.
Huh.
And how long was the, did Dave do like two hours?
No, man. He just, he has this thing like at his club, he's had like Erykah Badu, Wu-Tang Clan,
De La Soul, Most Def, like a bunch of like jazz people.
Like he, and it's not open every weekend.
It's only when he's there.
It's like this special thing.
And it's like, so he had Matt come on a Monday,
a Tuesday, Wednesday, place that shit is sold out
and he just goes up, does his thing.
I mean, I gotta say, man, I've never been around a more self-confident person ever
You know, and I've been around
No, dude, no, no, dude not like this that's bravado. Yeah, not like
I've never like, you know, you know, I mean I was like my god
Did he drop some knowledge on you? Yeah, man. He usually has he just it's always like that
It's just always and the town is great. He's got all these places in the town and then this catered meals
It's so interesting, you know, and he's he's famous like this man. It's no like
It's not showing off or nothing. He's just telling stories. He basically built his own Disneyland.
Yeah, but he's telling stories.
He'll be like, he was like,
yeah, so we're at the game, it's me, it's Prince,
and somebody else, and he's like, he's like, yay.
And Prince told me to do this thing.
The phone rings.
Oh, just a second, I gotta take this.
It's Justin Bieber.
I'll be right back.
And he goes, it was like that.
And I was like, this dude is like,
and I think that he's like so famous,
but also so like, he lets people in,
so people like wanna talk to him, you know?
And he's very deep and thoughtful,
and so you wanna talk to him.
So these people that he knows, all these famous people,
are like, yo Dave, can I, can you got a minute?
And he's gracious like that.
But it was just like, I had a perception
of what I thought the guy was like before.
But just like actually sitting at a dinner table with him
and seeing how he is in his environment
and the people he has around him,
I was like, this is unbelievable.
Eric, did you tell him he stole your joke or no?
I did tell him that.
I didn't tell him he stole it.
I said to him, I said.
No, he stole it.
I said, because of you, I had to stop doing two jokes. You two jokes, you know, he was like, oh, what was it?
You know and I told him about it and I was like I said yours was mean man
You know, but it's just like did you get a cell phone number? No, I didn't even try though
Ah, you're not that close. I just met next time. Yeah, but I'm not one of those guys
I want to be like yo man, let me get your number.
You just met him?
Yeah. Oh, wow.
No, but I've met him before, but not like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
This is like you hanging out at somebody's house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?
So I was like, but anyway, I was just saying,
it was like a real artsy environment.
I find that so interesting.
He's so interesting.
Like, I just find that whole thing so interesting. He does it in yellow springs.
I love it. And there's no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Interesting.
Eric, where'd you stay at his house? No, man.
He has a bunch of Airbnb that he has out there. And then like,
there was this place that's so interesting. So we, so we, so this is where we ate,
we ate at this place that has like a bedroom. So you could stay there. Right.
But it's like two dining rooms,
and like this world-class chef is there cooking for us
the whole time.
It's like Neverland, but no one's getting molested.
I guess.
You know, you build your own city.
But go ahead.
Yeah, but I would think, but I feel like it's what,
like let's say, I feel like Rogan will buy
as much as he can on Sixth Street and do the same thing he's gonna buy a restaurant he's gonna buy a
whatever no no he'll get off 6th Street or whatever it is I see I can see it's
the same kind of vibe I like when I think of the mothership and being there
and like the green room and the environment that is created there this
was like a very similar vibe, but even more exclusive.
Like you had to turn your phone in.
You couldn't, like there's no recording.
Like I'm never gonna see the recording of, you know.
And then like one of the shows,
Chappelle goes up with Matt at the end.
Matt said, can you wanna come up and riff with me?
You know what I mean?
And so he wasn't gonna do it.
And then he's like, he's like, ah, you know, I'ma do it.
And he goes up.
No one's ever gonna see that.
I guarantee you he's never gonna put that out
But it was like is it isn't it the same?
25 people that live in that small town
Listen the Yellow Springs is like
30 minutes away from Dayton an hour away from Columbus and so anybody so I went on stage and I was like
Who lives in the Yellow Springs like four people cloud clapped. Oh, okay. You know?
And then you're talking about, so you got,
so this is the W, you got Chappelle's Club is there.
You get to see.
3,600 people live there.
Yeah, you get to see Chappelle,
but you also, people were coming to see Matt.
Right, right, right.
On a Tuesday and Wednesday it was sold out.
So it was like.
Of course, yeah.
It was just like, you know, it was great.
And then he's got this store,
he's got a store with all this merch,
you know what I mean?
And he's like, he says, go in there, clean me out, man.
You know? So, you know, I got a bunch of sweat, you know,
tell me twice. You got underwear.
My's round Rachel gray. I said, I got, I went in there.
You got triple X up in there. Yeah, they did have. So wait, what'd you get?
What do they have there? What kind of shit? I liked it. That can we,
can we start doing a count? That's Brendan's first fat joke from Texas.
I need a fat joke count from this motherfucker.
Yo Dave, you got quadruple abs?
Fuck off.
So what did, was it what kind of merch did they have?
Cool stuff or what?
All kinds of stuff, man.
From the tours and stuff.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it's great stuff.
It's really good material.
I was like, this is great.
But what I'm saying though is like,
it's interesting that that's where he's from.
And he just came back and he just like,
he's got his acres and acres of land that he has.
And then he has this in the town,
he's got all these little pop-up spots just for him.
And it's great.
I wonder what that's like.
And his club is beautiful.
And he had all the security.
It's funny because he said like,
I never make any money when I open the club.
Because that's not why he does it.
Yeah.
Because there was like seven security guards.
Right, right, right.
And he goes, he goes,
nothing gonna happen to Matt Rife on my watch.
Oh, that's funny.
You know what I mean?
But it's just great, man.
The people he had around him,
they were all cool people.
Like this world class photographer was there. And like, he's got, he's got a, they were all cool people. Like this world-class photographer was there.
And like, he's got, he's got a, there was IVs every day.
The guy that owns that company, he's a cool dude.
His like handler lady, she's great.
She was like, you know, they're doing, you know,
it's just like a kind of thing where I was like, man,
you really felt like you won, you were around somebody rich.
You know what I mean?
Eric, Eric, was the green room
did it were they red lights usually likes red light yeah he was talking about
that it's so funny you bring that up like even on stage he had a thing where
I make the lights red like like I'm talking about he must have spent like
three or four million dollars on this club because like the lights the sound
system everything they had a DJ like I was just like, man, this is really like,
I don't know what this is.
You know, so it's like nothing I've ever experienced.
He did it in his home.
That's what it looks like. That's beautiful.
That's what it is. Yeah, yeah, that's it right there.
It's beautiful.
You know, and he and he rarely, like I say, he rarely
it's not open every week.
It's not like a regular club. It's not for money.
It's a movement. He calls it, you know, it it. It's like, and that's why he has the artist
that he has there.
And it's also weird because the Instagram account
for this thing, it's got like 22,000, it's not even a lot.
But that's the one he looks at.
He's not even looking at the four million Chapella count.
He's like looking at this, cause he loves this.
Oh really?
All the videos in front of people. The four million chapella count, he's like looking at this, cause he loves this. Oh really?
All the videos in front of people.
So anyways, it was actually a very,
it was an interesting experience.
And the only thing I can liken it to
that I've seen before is like,
again, like being around Rogan someplace,
like in the comedy scene where he's at.
You got the fucking military,
marine guys around and everybody's like, hanging like you know hanging on his words it was very
Like it's a little different. I think you get to a certain level where you're just like I'm just gonna create my thing
Yeah, man, I don't have to go anywhere. I'm safe. Yeah, I can go home at night. Like I'm just gonna create it
So no more planes. There's something about I know exactly I kind of felt that too. I felt like man
It's like you really love comedy
But what I'm saying though is like you want to talk about self-assured confident person in their abilities and like and I think he's felt
This way his whole life. I think he does so much comedy. He's always wanted to do comedy when he was 16 years old
He was like doing comedy and and like I think and, and then the way he approaches it is in a way
that I'm not surprised that like,
he's arguably the greatest comic ever.
Or you could make that argument, you know what I mean?
He's also in the middle of nowhere
and built that insane place.
That's the thing that's,
but that's the thing that is just like,
like Rogan makes sense, he went in the middle of Austin,
created a brand, everyone wants to go because of him.
But also there's so many people there.
This thing is totally different. It's crazy, man.
And people. But again, though, if you're like into like whatever,
you know, you're you know, you're into him, even if you're not,
if you're a fan of him or if you're a fan of what he's put now
like about this place, people come from all over.
They just do.
You know, you can see all the videos on the Instagram account
about like, he had Erykah Badu, that kind of thing.
Didn't the Dr. Phil thing just did it there?
Yeah, yeah, Adam Ray was just there, you know what I mean?
But again, you may never see that.
Yeah, right, right.
Because he's only gonna put out,
and he's very, he's very like, about everything.
Well yeah, how he does.
Pictures, you can't, even the guy that the photographer's
like, oh, I gotta get approval.
I was like, hey, can I get that pic?
Cause we took a pic with the three of us
and he was like, well, you know, you may get it.
Bro, I would be fucking furious
if I drove to the middle of Ohio,
expect to see Dave Chappelle and Eric Griffin
and what are their names?
Abba Badu fucking sang for two hours.
No, no, no, but you went.
Wow, this guy.
You went, but people went for that.
You better call Tyrone.
Call him.
Call him.
Call him.
That's a great song.
But you can't use my phone.
Yeah, and then what other songs does she have?
What other slappers?
That's it.
Yeah, she's good.
If you're into her, she's the kind of artist
that you're just into her so you know everything.
You know, that's where you're gonna go
to like a 200 C club to see her
and somebody tell you about it, you know?
That's just what that is.
You all have, you all fans of things like that?
Yeah, bro.
Yeah, some band.
They just had a musical act at the mothership.
Mothership.
What's his name?
Yeah, homeboy who sings Rich Men from North. Yeah,, did you go Virginia? Dude? That guy's huge. Did you go to that show?
All that guy was he's standing next to Adam Egan
He has a picture with Adam Egan this guy's like six four six five or something like that. This guy's huge, bro
I wouldn't go if Michael Jackson came out of the grave and performed
Oh, I don't give a fuck. No.
Let's take a little break here, then we'll
jump right back in this episode.
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Com slash golden to get a free shipping 365 day returns quints.com slash golden. What's the last concert you going to?
blink 1822 in California.
Kill yourself.
Why, you don't like concerts you're saying?
I don't like big crowds.
Oh, got it.
That makes, that's different.
I don't like big crowds and I don't like
Hardy.
I just went with Kristen.
Oh, wow.
What'd you go to, Chris?
Hardy.
Oh yeah, the country guy?
Yeah.
Okay, what's your top three concerts
you've ever gone to in your life well I'd have to say
Drake what Drake number one by far did you go far yeah I went with 12 years ago okay that's the number that's your number one by far what about you when I was a my family, we went to go see Johnny Cash.
Oh wow.
So that's wild that I get to say that.
My number one is Michael Jackson.
It was the victory tour at Dodger Stadium.
I'm talking about at the height of like,
this is like right after, you know,
he just did Billie Jean on Motown 25.
Wow.
You know what I mean?
How old were you? Oh, man.
Eric, Eric looking all cute in the front row.
You lucky dog.
I wish I was in the front row.
No, but it was like.
And then that was like,
Billie Jean is not my lover.
Yeah, with your fucking shit stains in his underwear.
So yeah, that was a trying to get noticed by Michael Jackson and go back.
Yeah, that's pretty amazing.
I was like, let's see.
I was I was 14. Wow. That's that's pretty amazing. I was like, let's see, I was, I was 14.
Wow.
That's wild.
You know who I paid a seat,
you know what concert I go to is Dave Matthews band.
Really?
I'm a Dave slave.
Is that what you guys are called?
Yeah, I'm a Dave slave.
See, and there's Erica Badubies.
They like her.
I get it. You know what, I get it.
So you went to a Drake concert, see I would never,
I don't think I would ever go see
a hip hop artist in concert.
Hip hop is tough.
Drake was fantastic.
I'm sure, but I mean.
Hip hop is tough.
He has so many hits and he actually sings.
You know, like you see Travis Scott
or some of these other bullshit artists,
they have all their friends up there.
Like you watch the 50 Cent concert,
it's like a bunch of his friends singing the lyrics and shit.
It was all Drake, it was insane.
Best live performance I've seen.
Oh wow.
I heard Dave Matthews is better though.
Dave Matthews, I'm trying to think of,
another great concert I went to was like,
did you ever go to one of those summer jam type things
where it was like, so I remember going to one.
Fuck no.
And I tell you how long ago it was.
Color Me Bad was one of the headliners.
Whoa.
At the time and it was like,
I was so many, I don't even remember all the people,
but it was like you win from like Power 106 tickets,
that kind of thing. It was my hell. And it was one of win from like Power 106 tickets, that kind of thing,
and it was like one of their jams.
My personal hell.
I went to another one where it was like,
I was invited, but I went because of Bieber.
Right.
You know, and I was like, I forgot what that was.
I met so many people.
Eric Namedropping, Eric Namedropping
was that episode. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
I met like Megan, Megan Trainor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I didn't realize
until I went to this concert and met all these famous people.
How many people like workaholics?
Oh yeah yeah.
You know what I mean?
But I mean how many of those came, cause they were, cause I'm walking in the thing with my little thing on there like,
Oh, Montez! You know what I was like, oh shit.
Well this was back then too right?
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. This was like, you know.
In the height of it.
Yeah yeah. So I was like, oh wow.
Megan Trainor liked you Eric?
Yeah yeah.
You met Megan Trainor?
Oh I love Megan Trainor. She's great. We went to brunch, you know. Oh really? Yeah yeah yeah. Megan trainer. Oh, I love Megan trainer. She's great.
We went to brunch, you know, really?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
All about that base, right?
That's her.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
She's super sweet.
Was she big back then?
Was she or in a full fucking the grand slam breakfast?
I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do this.
This isn't my friend.
She's cool.
She's cool.
She's great.
Now she's awesome.
Now she got no Zempik.
She's great now.
She was a big girl. She was like, she was Lizzo before Lizzo. No, she got no Zempik. She's great now. She was a big girl.
She was Lizzo before Lizzo.
I don't remember.
No, she was Lizzo before Lizzo.
No.
No.
Oh, buddy.
Look it up.
I met her, no, she was never that big.
She was never that big.
Yeah, it was her and Adele, man, crushing it.
Big heavyweights.
Look it up.
Look it up.
No, she's not.
Yeah, they sheared a grand slam at Denny's, bro.
It's well documented. She looks great, huh? Wow. Texas Brendan is shared a grand slam at Denny's, bro. It's well documented.
She looks great, huh?
Wow.
Texas Brendan is not a nice person.
That is just crazy.
I'm a fan of hers.
Oh yeah, it sounds like it.
No, I love Meghan Trainor.
I don't like fucking-
She's got a great podcast with her husband now
and her brother. Oh yeah?
Oh, Ryan? Yeah.
I love her brother's game with them sometimes.
Dude, when I would see her brother,
his brother is, he would do one.
He was one of those guys where he would give you a hug and slap your back so
hard. Oh, I hate that.
They're comedy fans. They would go to the comedy star. I know them.
But it's great. Like, you know, they have that great relationship.
They make the music with her and you know what I mean? I love, I love what they do.
I mean, it's different from like, it's just like Billie Eilish and, uh,
whatever her brother's name is. Her brother's name, her brother wants to be famous.
So bad. I think so. Cause I think if he wanted to be famous, he would be famous.
Oh no, he tried. He tried. He went on solo career and like, bitch,
write music Phineas. Phineas. Phineas.
Isle of Phineas. Are you fucking kidding me? Is this a Harry Potter?
Well, he got to change your name though.
Change your name and write musics for your sister and shut your little mouth
Vinny, so Connor
Yeah, but he's won a lot of Grammys as a producer. So you know because of his sister. Yes. Yeah
Well, I think I think I think he has a big part to do with that
Yeah, you you watch American Idol. There's a lot of great singers and stuff, but
Sweater puppies on Billie Eilish?
Come on, bud.
You can't write that stuff.
She just put those out, man.
Can't write that stuff.
She's been hiding those things for years.
She just put them out.
Not for me.
Not for me.
They just came out?
We find out that he's been in a secret relationship
with Billie Eilish.
That'd be weird.
That'd be sick.
You got to see the documentary.
Her boyfriend, he's a real asshole.
Oh, I won't watch that documentary.
The documentary of what?
Oh, actually, you know what?
There's a great documentary about her on Apple TV,
and I watched a little bit of it,
and I don't get her music, it's not for me,
but I understand why people like her.
Oh, I'm a Billy.
I'm a Billy lover.
I'm a Billy fan.
You're an eyelash? I'm a Dave. I'm a Billy. Billy lover. I'm a Billy fan. You're an eyelash
Eilish and I'm a Dave slave on my eyelash
You guys are fucking what are you talking about?
That's what you're caught. You're an eyelash if you're a friend of her. I guess you're one of her eyelashes
That should be the thing if that's not it fuck her. You know what I mean? Yep, yep.
Okay, well I think that she's cool, yeah. She meets Orlando Bloom in this and he was so creepy.
In the documentary?
Oh, he was so, that's right Eric.
And he brings Katy Perry in, Katy Perry's like,
damn, take it down a notch.
It was a lot.
Fucking homeboy.
Now come on, let me see, what happened?
Oh, the way he hugged her, you know what I mean?
He loves her.
He loves her.
It was extra and I'm like like this is extra on film. I
Bet you can find it. It's hilarious, dude. I walked by him one time. I walk him by him two different times in my life
That's it. We don't I don't know him
Okay, I've been to walk by walk by him twice the first time he was with that old Victoria's Secret model
It was a long time ago. I was not famous. Okay, and
He walked by with her and I saw her first because I was like, wow,
she's pretty. I can't remember her name, but she's super, super hot.
And he was, then I look and he was ahead of her holding her hand and I,
and I say, Oh, that's Orlando. I might, I look at him and say, Oh,
in my head Orlando Bloom. And he looks at me and he goes like this.
And like, give me a wink. Like, yo, look at how bad my chick is.
You know, and I'm like, Oh, that's kind of cool.
Yeah, that's cool. And then I was on a plane with him.
I was on a plane with Atlanta Bloom right next to him.
I just looked over and went, I don't get it, Katie.
I don't get it. He's a small guy.
But the second time I saw him, I was walking by LAX.
That's Texas Bee right there.
Yeah, he might be. Oh oh man, he might be right.
He's just a...
He's a good looking guy, he's cool.
Yeah, he also had a, remember did you also see that thing
where he was like in a bar,
like almost getting into a fight with Bieber?
Yeah, man.
I'll take Bieber.
This guy's in it.
Oh, is this the clip?
Maybe.
Nah, Orlando Bloom is...
Nah, Bieber has that anger in him, you know?
You ever see him pop off at the paparazzi?
Oh, that's Katy Perry, Jesus.
Yeah.
Katy's a dime.
This ain't it.
No, that's later.
It's like they're at the concert or something and he...
I think they're at Coachella and they're like in the back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I'm talking about.
I've seen a million times.
And he's using a box.
Yeah.
I'm an Irish.
He's cleaning it up and down with no interruption.
Kevin.
That's creepy now.
Wait, wait, I got to, Kevin, no black people,
I don't know one black person that has ever said,
eating her box.
That's such a white thing, right?
Missing out, missing out. Damn, Kevin said that? Because they say, because they say eating her box. That's such a white thing. Right.
Damn. Kevin said that. Cause they say, cause they say eating her bizox.
You gotta say that. You gotta go.
Yeah. I'm kept that eating her box. No one says that. I'm just saying he said that. It's like, baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby baby simple, you know, clean out the hatchet wound. It's just really, fuck you. You know, inspecting the fried butterfly,
you know how it goes.
You're disgusting.
No dude, I am scientific about it.
That roast beef sandwich?
Oh dude, baboon rudders.
Dining at the Y?
What'd he say?
Whatever, he's fired.
Yeah, no, let's fire him from here.
Dining at the Y
Because it's a why you're fired. Yeah, I can find good. I don't cuz there's fucking a steam room in there
It's also a V. Yeah, okay. So he is a V now you love it. Can you just yeah, you're rehired Nick
Cuz you inspired gets fired and rehired every episode
Wow incredible, I think Because you inspired. It gets fired and rehired every episode. Wow, incredible.
I think we gotta use, also Sideways Burger,
that's my favorite.
I used to sell a shirt that said pussy on it.
And I had to joke about just all the different names.
And I had all the names on the shirt.
So it was like pink taco, roast beef curtains.
It was like so many of them.
Dude, I used to sell a shirt that said Turbo Slut on it.
Wow.
That's hilarious.
Yeah.
Do you have any pants?
I'll buy them.
Turbo Slut pants?
Sweetie!
With your Panagonia.
Look what I got you.
Your Panagonia and your peanuts.
Turbo Slut, wow. Turbo slut. Wow.
Turbo slut. What was this all about?
Why did it was something from the podcast?
Yeah, I was I was doing a I think it was a show with me, Brian and Rogan.
And they were talking about some girl that slept with a lot of guys.
You got a real turbo slut.
We all started dying laughing.
And I just made turbo slut shirts after that sold like hotcakes.
Yeah. Couldn't make those in twenty shirts after that. Sold like hotcakes.
Couldn't make those in 2025.
That's roundupon.
Who would buy or wear that?
Yeah.
That's what I said.
That's a joke.
A woman as a joke.
You know what the thing is with merch,
especially at a comedy show, it's just a tip.
They're not really wearing a shirt.
They probably get home and go,
the fuck I got this for?
They throw it in a corner.
You know, it's like I had so many, anytime I sold,
I sold so many pussy shirts, I was like,
why you buy, in my mind I'm like,
you can't wear this outside.
I sold it.
But you sold them online, right?
No, no.
No, he did, yeah.
He sold them online.
Yeah, but he still, if you're a fan of the podcast,
or whatever it is, and you heard them say that,
then you're like at home like,
turbo's love!
And they're like.
It's inside joke.
Yeah, they buy it.
It's just, it's like,
I bet we could have sold a bunch of T-shirts
from some of the nonsense that had been said here.
We just never do it.
That guy needs to make a Turn It Down shirt.
Turn It Down?
Oh, you know, I think there is a shirt, right?
Or wait, wait, don't they sell the shirt
at Jacksonville somewhere, some big city college?
Turn It Down.
Yeah, we could easily,
how much nonsense has been said on here?
You know, we could just make a shirt.
You know, how about you guys, if you're watching right now,
what have you seen on this podcast
that you'd wear on a shirt?
Tell us.
Okay, I'd like to know.
Yeah, one you'd like to know?
Just one that says I piss and shit
all over myself all the time.
There you go, Eric would love that merch.
Anyway guys, I got my merch out. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I piss and shit all over myself all the time. There you go, Eric would love that merch. Anyway guys, I got my merch out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I piss and shit all over myself all the time.
Nick is re-fired.
I want him out.
You turn around, on the bottom
there's a little brown mark here.
Yeah.
You know what that symbolizes, right?
Yeah, and then we also sell adult diapers that don't work.
Yeah. So how about that?
You gonna get that too, huh?
I got the heavy adult diapers.
I got the heavy ones too.
Heavy stream they call it.
Hey guys, on the new studio, is that background,
is that Chinese writing?
Where?
Like all the writing.
The thing that says Golden Hour?
Oh, it looks like far away, it looks like writing,
but it's just like weathered bricks?
Yeah, it's just weathered bricks.
No, this is just weathered real bricks. It looks like there's like writing. It's just that like weathered bricks. Yeah
Oh, look weathered real things like some writing that they have to ask you have to ask chin chin Don't be able to be like, oh, it's like a poem. We wrote just for chin. We miss him
Did what's the studio like over there now?
You guys done with it? No, not even close. Okay. I saw the clip
Yeah, it's cool. But it's a long way to go.
Yeah, Brian's a big help, right? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha kid shop show them below is the dry fast all gas like I have two car lifts coming in. I'll be able to fit like eight cars in
here.
Ooh, that's gonna be dope.
Damn.
That's dope.
You're a long ways to go though.
Oh, I'm gonna be in St. Louis.
Chin has all his
clothes and shit and all these boxes.
It's gonna be gone soon.
Oh, Chin lives there?
It's
He already got kicked out of his apartment. Is that what happened?
Have chin lived there bro.
I knew his chin smelled like kimchi. I'm like what the fuck?
Oh dude, chin lived there. He owned a fridge.
Yup.
Yeah. Bunch of sardines and shit.
I'm gonna be...
I'll be in Indianapolis. I'll be in Irvine. I'll be in Huntsville. I'll be in Miami.
I'll be in Houston. Go to chrisley.com.
I don't got a lot coming up but July 11th though, I'll be in Huntsville, I'll be in Miami, I'll be in Houston, go to chrisley.com. I don't got a lot coming up, but July 11th though,
I will be, no, yeah, July 11th I'll be at
Nate Jackson's Comedy Club in Tacoma.
Come check me out there,
and I got a bunch of shows with Rife, so.
Oh cool.
Yeah.
All right, well, thank you guys.
Appreciate you.
It's good to see you, Brendan.
I miss you guys, man.
Yeah, you know what, we're still going strong.
We'll come out there soon.
And we got other ideas too for the Patreons to sign up.
But yeah, uh...
Eric, when are you at the mothership?
I just did it so it's probably not going to be until next year.
But you know, I could do, I want to do like an Eric and Friends or whatever it is like
that.
I could get out there or we do it someplace else.
I don't know.
But we want to come out.
We do it at the Vulcan.
We need to come out and do, come out there just to be with you there, you know, you're just all surround. Yeah, and we could do a live show at the Vulcan. We need to come out and do. We come out there just to be with you there.
You know, you're.
Yeah.
We could do a live show at the Vulcan or something.
That'd be dumb.
Let's do that.
I like it.
Live show.
Whatever.
Oh, Chris doesn't seem into it.
OK, that's fine.
That's fine.
No, I am into it.
No, I don't like your attitude.
I was thinking about something else.
Go get some diapers.
I was thinking about.
No, I was thinking about how I have
to get this natural remedy thing that the doctor told me it's called UMCA.
Sorry. For what? You're pissed? Unbelievable. Thanks for watching Golden Hour. See you next week.
Go piss your pants. Alright see you guys. What's up guys I've given away the
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