The Golden Hour - Uber Divas | The Golden Hour #75 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: April 12, 2024

The guys discuss what their serial killer traits are and talk Chris going to Australia, Erik's new baby's size, Bryan Callen leaving his baby in the back seat, Max Holloway vs Justin Gaethje at UFC 300, Joe Rogan's dog, an update on the P Diddy investigation, Ricky Martin getting aroused at a Madonna concert, Tucker Carlson on Kill Tony, food delivery service rants and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code GOLDEN

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour

It's the Golden Hour You got fast food good. Nick's got fast food, so that's good. I'm done. He does? I'm done. No, not that you can't be eating during the thing. It's just cool that you're eating fast food.

He was like, no, no, I'm not going to eat on it. God, who hurt you? Yeah, you can't be eating during the thing. It's just cool It was like no, no, I'm not gonna eat on it. Yeah You were like some sort of like weird boss he was like I'm done. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm so please don't hit me You know, you know me, you know, I don't care about that if you could eat a whole sandwich I don't care. What would you get cinna sticks? sausage burritos for McDonald's good, so it's good nice and healthy so Dude, let's, this is Thursday? Breakfast is okay. I know, I know, I know.

I kind of agree. So we went to the doctor to measure the baby. They have those charts that let you know where they are. Nine percentile? Average and all that kind of stuff. She said for his height, off the charts. What? Yeah.

As a dad, is there anything better? Yeah. There's a taco thing to it. Wow. Yeah. As a dad, is there anything better? Yeah. There's a taco thing too. Wow. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So it was like the lines were here at whatever it was

in his height. He was like. Wow. There's nothing better. But that doesn't necessarily mean he's got anything. He didn't get any goals. Yeah, he could stop.

He couldn't have a goal. It's better than being just average. It doesn't matter. You know, when they're like, oh, he's 50% tall. You're like, okay. But as a baby, it doesn't matter. I mean, he's you know 50 tall you're like but as a baby it could it doesn't matter i mean but yeah that i mean it could you could still grow to be very

tall or yeah oh i know what's going on here you guys know calvin's and we're i haven't been in a while that's usually not dude they can dude they can get fucking that doesn't mean anything calvin is tall for his age he's tall and billy is big billy is big yeah thick yeah calvin's not thick though yeah no calvin is uh i mean he's just thin and tall he's basically what i was yeah isn't it weird though when you do those things if it's you know in the 99 percentile inside like fuck yeah yeah you do feel good yeah yeah yeah kids can be lebron james i don't know hey you know what's crazy about babies man when you look at them them, you realize they would die without you. Crazy.

It's crazy that they hand you, here's a baby. Go home. And a pillow will kill them. That's something they always say. You keep them in bed. No blankets, no pillows. You're just like, what? You have to watch this thing 24-7.

It's so crazy. It's a crazy thought, man. I used to have that bit in Incorrigible about how it was like, how other animals came out ready, and it sucks that we have to, like, you know, the babies, it takes them so long. Like, you have to be around them for, like, Calvin is four. Oh, yeah, even at four. Even at four.

I gave him my three days. Like, he needs to open the fridge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, two days in. Even one. It's going to get. No, I think the kid, like, if it was naked and afraid and you threw Calvin in a jungle, what do you give him?

I'm so sad even just thinking about that. It makes me so sad. 20 minutes? Yeah. I think. You know, it's like, you know what kids know? They would see a tiger and be like, tiger! You know what I mean?

Or whatever it is. You know, it's like amazing all that you have to teach them. Oh, God. Oh, and they'll remind you. Like we had the sink was clogged, so my girl ordered like a bunch of Drano. So it's like red. It's out. She just left out, and Tiger was like, Dad, is that Kool-Aid?

I was like, fuck, dude. Damn. I wasn't here. Oh, my God. It's game over. And then you have to have this weird conversation with – it's not even a weird conversation, but you have to like – like, you know when your kid is in danger, that's your first thought, right?

And then you have to go to your wife and be like, hey. Yeah, I know. Hey. I know, I know. Yeah. Don't give her the butterfly knife. Tighten it up. Tighten it up. knife tighten it up yeah tighten it up yeah tighten it up i mean we we were we were watching tv and then we were like wait a minute

you know as a parent you get that thing if it's too quiet you'll see and and and and then you and we look and billy was halfway up the stairs we're like oh i guess he climbed stairs now like we got to get a gate yeah if it's too quiet something's up and he was so proud of himself you know but it's just like all right he did it how about callen yesterday i'm firing the kid we had sugar uh uh o'malley on brian were you talking before the podcast he's like yeah man it's wild we're talking about being dads and he's like yeah man like uh we're driving the restaurant i had to put the newborn in my back seat he goes i walk into the restaurant my wife's to put the newborn in my back seat. He goes, I walk into the restaurant. My wife's like, where the fuck's the baby? He goes, I totally forgot.

You're kidding. No. I was like, you might want to lay low on that story. I get it. He goes, you know how it goes, man. I'm not used to the kid. Cars have reminders. Rachel has it.

Rachel's had it on even before we had a kid. When you turn the car off, it goes, check the back seat. Aw. No, that's crazy. Crazy. She would never forget that, baby. Oh, I don't need that. She doesn't need that.

She just wants it because it's fun to have. Yeah. That's crazy, Callan. Crazy. He might need it. That's what I'm saying. We should inform him

that there's a function. We should definitely send him a link. That is so... When he told me that, I was like, he goes, you know how it goes. I'm like, no.

No, that's actually... Actually wild, right? Crazy, yeah. But to his... Well, I was like, he goes, you know how it goes. I'm like, no. No, that's actually wild, right? Crazy. But to his, well, I'm trying to defend him. He's like, no, but I never have the kid in my car. So we're all going to the restaurant. And I get in the restaurant. She's like, where the fuck is the kid? And he's like, oh, shit.

I just spent money on another base to go in my car. Base? Oh, base? You know, for the kiddo. Because I got sick of doing it. I was like, I'm going to take it out of her car. You know? Yeah.

So it's like, you know, what is he doing? He never has a baby in his car? Like, what are we talking about? I don't know. You're a wild boy. Wild boy. He didn't want to go. I dropped Calvin off to school today.

He didn't want to go to school. He was just like, I said, buddy, do you like going to school? He says, yeah, but only sometimes. Is he always like that? What? Yeah. It's a fight every morning. No, no, no, no, not a fight.

No, sometimes he likes it. Nobody wants to. No, no, I know. I know. I like that he was being real, though, you know, because he used to be like, let's go. And I'm like, that's crazy. I wonder how long that's going to last, you know?

Every single morning, Bosty's like, dad, I do not want to go. Yeah. He's four? Four, yeah. Yeah. And then Tiger's down four. Yeah,, I do not want to go. He's four? Four, yeah. And then Tiger's down four. Why wouldn't you want to be a nerd? Home is like, that's the best. She can't want to...

Toys, everything. But then we got to school. You know what they were doing at school today? Making Play-Doh. So he was like... Yeah, it's not like they're doing hard... See you, Dad! It's not like they're doing hardcore algebra.

Get to school. You're fucking building Legos and hanging with your buddies, dude. It's not like they're doing hardcore algebra. No, no, no. Like, get to school. You're fucking building Legos and hanging with your buddies, man. Yeah. This morning. Doing smack. Am I right? This morning, I put him in the crib.

Yeah. Because he's smiling now. And it's the most adorable thing. Yeah. So I put him in the crib. And we had this thing with all this stuff on it. And, you know, he's just kicking. Yeah.

And then, like, I left him there. And then he was in there. He was just in there. Yeah. You know, like, I left him there. And then he was in there. He was just in there. Yeah. You know? And I was like, oh. And then he went to sleep. That's awesome, dude.

Yeah. I was like, oh, my God. Because he's been, like, he just in bed with us because he can't. Gotcha. He hates to snoo. Oh, really? Yeah. He don't like the fucking swaddling.

Really? Yeah, dude. We just hear this. And then you look, and there's like one arm. That's funny. Nick, how excited are you for UFC 300? For guys that are into fighting, this is our WrestleMania Super Bowl. Why?

Because it's UFC 100's a mega deal. 200's a big deal. 300's an even bigger deal. So it's like the most stacked call. So imagine 400. I can't. Thor versus. Dude, I big deal. 300's an even bigger deal. So it's like the most stacked card. So imagine 400. Thor versus... But who's it going to be? It's like the most insane lineup.

From the prelims to the main event, it's the most stacked card. It's not the best main card of all time, but from the first fight of the night... Who's the main card? This guy fought on UFC 100 and 200. What?

Yeah. They call him Jim fucking Miller. Well, that's his name, right? That's why they call him that? Yeah. Okay. Well, who's the main guys? I mean, the main of-

Jamal Hill. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And Alex Pereira. Two Asian girls fighting each other with that. They're both Chinese, too. Wow. How do you fix that? That's the each other. They're both Chinese, too. Wow. That's the most questionable fight on the card. Yeah.

What? The women? That particular fight. It's questionable? It doesn't make a ton of sense on UFC 300. It doesn't, you're saying? No, but they needed another title fight. Is that a title fight? Yeah, it's a title fight.

Chinese on Chinese crime. Justin Gaethje, Max Holloway. Oh, I see. They had the little belt. That means it's a title fightay. Oh, I see. They have the little belt. That means it's a title fight, right? Mm-hmm. Wow. This is crazy.

It's crazy people do that. Those two. That guy right there. Go back up, Nick. That guy, Max Holloway. Max Holloway's the man. I know, but he looks like... I don't know.

It doesn't look like they should be fighting together based off that picture. I'm glad you said that. So he usually fights at 45. He's going up to 55. Oh, I was just about to say. This guy looks too little to fight this guy. Good for you, Eric. Yeah, but let me ask you this.

Does that give him a disadvantage because he has to go up in weight? He looks a lot thicker now. He's put on a lot of muscle. Has he fought in that weight before? He has, but it was on short notice. He didn't put on a ton of weight, and it was a tough night in the office. That's what I'm saying. But now he's had time. He's put on weight. When when they first announced this i don't know how you felt dave when

they first announced gaethje max hallway i hated it because i love max hallway i'm like dude this is a terrible idea now and i know he's had the proper training put on the weight i'm like oh i'm in this is my favorite fight on the card yeah and he's a big and he's a big dog yeah i can't wait for it hey you know you know how you feel right now that's how I feel when you guys talk about Korean movies well okay that's fine fair I'm fine with that but movies are still have to see oh no still have to see mysteries of murder so I saw it you don't even murder you know I've seen it we don't need go over it you saw Memories of murder. Dude, I've seen it. We don't even need to go over it. You saw it again? Or you saw it?

Yeah, whatever. Because I said? He didn't like it? He didn't watch it. There's no way he watched it. No way. No, it was so good. We don't need to go over it.

Yeah, I know. But you saw it. Yeah. And you saw it was good? Yeah, it was good. So I'm right. Okay. You're right.

So you got to relax about that. Okay. He didn't see it. No, he didn't see it. I don't trust him. He didn't see it. You know what? Can I say something real quick?

I just want to thank everybody for the nice messages I got about my mom and that kind of stuff. And I realize, I say this all the time, there are a lot of good people that watch the show. There's more good than bad. There's more good than bad, and I appreciate all of the good comments. How did they know about your mama? Because it's just, I've been talking about it all my life. Oh, you have? And people have been giving me messages.

I didn't even know something because everything's all right? Yeah, no, it's not all right. Everything's not all right. I'm sorry, man. Yeah, it's like, you know, it is what it is. You know what I mean? But you think you're prepared, and then it hits you in the face, and then you have to, like, you know, emotionally deal with it.

There's no way to be prepared. Yeah, my mom's in hospice right now at any time, so it's frustrating. But anyways, people, I want to thank everybody, all the good people. There is. You know what I'm saying? A ton of good people. You know what I mean? I realize that they just don't want to get involved with all the negativity.

It really makes me realize, ah, I'm not going to worry about the negativity anymore and feel so sorry for these people that just do negative stuff. Yeah, you're doing a disservice to like the majority of your fans are positive. Right, right, right. So when you only harp on the negative, those people that are down for it are like, dude, what the hell? I know.

I feel so. But anyway, so I thank you for that. No. Well. That is tough. Sorry. Yeah, man. You know, it's like you get to it.

Like you guys are in your your did you turn four you just turned 40. so when you're in your 40s 41. you you start it's it's like it's it you you're looking at your parents and you you're kind of going oh all right they're they're they're getting older they're on the back you get into your 50s 60s man it's just like if they're even still alive you're like, or what's the quality of life? Yeah, even in my 40s, like I've had a few friends like recently like pass away or have heart attacks. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? You know what?

You ever like watching a news story? So if someone's under 40, you know, it feels like a tragedy. They're always like, you know, someone someone dead at 33 and you're just like boom but then like jesus died at 33. there we go but he came back but um they say yeah but then when like you hear about somebody like you know 50 let's say somebody's 50 dies and that's close to your age yeah you started to go oh man you know i hate that i because i like you know what i mean i go oh or someone dies right above where you're like, I'm 52. Somebody's like, 56.

Was it natural? Yes, 56-year-old heart attack. I hope they got hit by a train. I know. Was he eaten by a lion? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like my boy, healthiest dude I know, black belt in jiu-jitsu, trains every day, eats so healthy.

Those are the ones I hate. Not a big dude, like like super shredded he's like 56 was rolling doing jujitsu boom heart attack what didn't die he was smart and he called the ambulance right away and as he's in the ambulance he's like am i gonna make it and the guy's like and i don't know this is you're having a major heart attack and he said it's painful and just the lights were all green the ambulance happened to be like a minute away so just the timing they got if anything would have went wrong like a red light here traffic here ambulance is three minutes away he would have

died it was just like all lined up for him to make it that's crazy but you know what heart attacks a lot of times it's not even the heart attack that kills people, but like the fall. Oh, yeah. The fall and hit their head or something. Yeah. That's what happens. They have a heart attack and they hit their head and they bleed out or something like that. Fuck.

That's just, you know, or it's like my friend's dad that he had a heart attack on the job and fell and he never recovered from the coma. What's wild to me, you know, back in the day, you know, if you had a clogged artery or what vein, they would go to open heart surgery. Now they go in through your wrist. They do? They have a little machine that goes in. Yeah, so it's not a huge deal.

You don't have this huge scar. They went straight in through his wrist. What? Technology. Bro, what are we talking about today? I don't know. 2024, baby. We're here.

Oh, dude, speaking of 2024, did you see the eclipse? Oh, my word. No. I could give two shits. Am I right? I know. I know. Dude, he's such a big deal out of this thing. What's happening?

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Hey, when was it? I don't even know. It was yesterday. Was it? Yeah, I was at Irwin.

I got in my car, and the lady goes, eclipse, eclipse, you want sunglasses? I went, absolutely not. I saw a funny meme. It was like four Mexicans, and they were like, hey, look, the eclipse. And it was the eclipse. Mitsubishi car. All lowered and shit. So stupid.

Hey, look, it's eclipse. Yeah, I love going through those Latino neighborhoods, and there's just a car outside on blocks. Yeah. And like 11 of them out there trying to fix it. What's that, Nick? This was the middle of the day at at the cleveland game oh and it just went dark was it dark yeah hey is it weird i just could care less i mean all right is that

because i know like some of my boy like rogan posted how cool it was baseball's trash so i saw somebody on ktla one of the anchors was crying she's like it's just so emotional it's so cool i'm like man am i just ted bundy inside i don't give a fuck it also they say like it's only gonna happen once in your lifetime like that's not true it happened five years ago and it happened when i was a kid yeah yeah i think it's every 20 it's every 20 years a while ago you cut them nose hairs wow but he's he's such a guy that would be into eclipse yeah he's such a guy that would be into Eclipse. Yeah, he's into space, aliens and shit. I'm just not that into it. Yeah.

I hate that this dog has more followers than me. That's hilarious. Go back. Marshall. I don't care. Who would follow someone's dog? Who are you telling? There's a lot of people that love dogs and then you make

Rogan and dogs? Dude, get it in. But like, look. He should start a dog podcast with his dog which is there.

Do you know what it is? He's about to beat me on followers. He had 900k but another hundred something thousand and your boy's screwed. But following,

Rogan is, I get it. But why would you follow someone's dog? I don't get that. I don't get it. It makes you happy, I guess, right? Yeah.

I guess you look at it all. People love dogs, man. Yeah, I know, but you could just Google dog. Yeah, but it's Rogan and the dog? It's like peanut butter and jelly for some of those people. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

You know? I got dogs. I don't even look at them. Start an account. I don't even look at my own dogs. I think they're there still. These are the dogs I follow. Start an account. I don't even look at my own dogs. I think they're there still. These are the dogs I follow, some Westies. Oh, you're a bitch.

Oh, wow. You follow a lot of them, huh? Oliver the Westie. Oh, what a bitch. All these Westies? Why Westies? That's what I had growing up. Even the Russian one?

That's weird. It doesn't matter. They all speak dog. Well, that's cool, man. That's cool you't speak they all speak dog well that's cool man that's cool you follow all those westies man you're having a good day at mcdonald's and following a bunch of westies that's cool crushing it yeah just living life in the car with your burritos crushing it oh my god um yeah i don't know i don't really care about that kind of stuff, but dogs are eclipses. It's tough to care about anything, honestly.

Isn't it? It's tough to care about anything when you really think about it because we're so small in this huge, huge galaxy, and there's so many planets. There's over 5,000 planets in this galaxy. And there are so many galaxies. This reminds me of how broken you can be sometimes yeah i'm a nihilist and it's it's really sad like one one bad turn and you're a

serial killer yeah like things get just a little more like just a tad and you're cutting people's eyes out he just needs his mom to call him and be like you're fucking stupid if my parents did like three or four things different yes i'm a warlord i lucked out they just eat they eat it and they weren't bad they weren't bad parents but it just the way it worked yeah the way it the cards fell in my mind dude we are in warlord territory if they did four different things i mean just for you i think just think of hitler's parents have been a little bit like, you know what I mean? Apparently his mom was good. His dad was a real jerk. All it takes is one.

Well, if the dad was a jerk and you become like a dictator, but when the mom's messed up, you become Dahmer. Think about that. You know what I'm saying? Like it's such a like. Right, right. Yeah, Dahmer's thing, they just left him on his own a lot. No, but his mom was like. Yeah.

His mom was, like, not just neglectful, but just kind of like. She liked, like, the younger one and dipped out. Abusive and all. Whatever the, like, the lack of, like, whatever. Bad dad. Bad dad. I'm a dictator. Bad mom.

I'll eat you. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, you're walking a thin line, bubba. Well, I'm a dictator. Bad mom, I'll eat you. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, you're walking a thin line, bubba. I'm okay. I mean, I'm already 44.

You're still young. It could happen. I'm very young, dude. Yeah, but it's that same energy. Like, you know, you have people follow you. You know, you got like, you know, a big fan base. Yeah. So it's just that you just, you use that to like, I want to bring joy and happiness to the world.

But think of the people that like. Oh, no, I know, I know. It's the different thing. And then they're like, they end up, you know, where their followers have their dead body in a camper. Yeah, no cult starts off as let's kill everybody. It all starts off fun and happy. But all of a sudden they're like, you know what?

But that's that same energy. Like if you were in a room with like David Koresh and all these guys, you might be like. My people. I'm kind of vibing with this guy. You know what I mean? But then it's just like

one little thing. Wait a minute. It's like if you were talking to somebody, right? You're talking and you said some shit about like, yeah, sometimes I want

to kill all my followers. You're like, whoa, hold on a second. Oh, wait, hold on. Yeah, I was with you up until then. Sounded fun in the fields and all that.

Running around. You got Nintendo at your cabin. You're like, I'll be in Albuquerque. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're going to kill everybody though, Albuquerque would be a good place to start. Let's take a little break, fellas.

Because this Saturday's UFC 300, the big dog is going down. Watch the ultimate UFC fight card and make bank with draft king sports book the official sports betting partner of the ufc is giving new customers a shot to turn five bucks into 150 instantly in bonus bets with ufc 300 bets that's right you got max holloway fighting for the bmf title against justin gaethje he's a dog. You got Bo Nichols, which is a crazy favorite. Probably lay low on that one.

You got Jim Miller as a dog against Bobby Green. There's so many fights. What's your underdog? My underdog's Max Holloway. I think he can get it done against Justin Gaethje. We shall see. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Use the code GOLDEN.

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Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 plus age varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. See dkng.co slash MMA for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources. Dude, I was in Saginaw, Michigan,

and it was... I think it's the worst place I've ever been to. Really? Just nothing there? It's not like it's run down or anything. It's just nothing is there, bro. You've been to Fort Wayne, Indiana? I have.

That one's interesting. There are a lot of places that are bad. And, you know, if the people are good, which a lot of times there are good people everywhere, so, like, you can make it, figure it out. But, like, it was just sagging on, dude. You couldn't even find a good coffee shop? Bro, the weirdest thing was the day we left, we went, you know, my buddy, Jason Collins featured for me. And he was like, he loves Starbucks.

I hate Starbucks. And I'm like, crazy, right? Why would you go to Starbucks? Crazy. That is crazy. That's batshit crazy. Because, well, you know what you're going to get. If you're in a weird town, it's reliable.

You know it's not going to be all weird. I get it. If you have a drink that you can get at Starbucks, it's reliable. You're going to see at least two in a town, right? Just dark roast coffee. It's reliable. You know it's not going to be all weird. I get it. If you have a drink that you can get at Starbucks, it's reliable. You're going to see at least two in a town. Just dark roast coffee. It's easy. There were two Starbucks there. And I go, no, let's go to this other place.

I thought it was going to be abysmal. You know, it's going to be terrible. It was called like Commissary or something like that. We walked in. Bro, in the middle of this nothing town. I mean, this house. I get into it on congratulations if you want to hear me talk about it. But I'm not going to get too into it, but about the town.

The town was crazy. It had a rundown mall and everything like that. It was so odd. But there was this one coffee shop. You walked in, and it was like you were in the middle of WeHo, and it was just hip. It had breakfast sandwiches. Love it.

Like light, like these lights. Like neon lights. Yeah. Bro, and light, like these lights. Like neon lights. Yeah. Bro, and I'm like, nah. There's always one like that at every town. But dude, but wait, it was- I find them. I know.

There should be, right? Yeah. If you go to Saginaw, you're like, well, this place doesn't have it. And you go, everything was- Organic? Buffalo chicken wild wings or, know old chains or every if there was a restaurant it was whatever restaurant was roadhouse it was something roadhouse something roadhouse it was so turkey roadhouse what's the blue where's the where's the place that has the blue room oh uh springfield

missouri missouri missouri right that place is awesome that little town has a couple of those Oh, Springfield, Missouri. Missouri. Missouri, yeah. Missouri, right? That place is awesome. They have, that little town has a couple of those type of places. That place is awesome. Right by the hotel. The opposite of Sagat. That place is dope. That's still a shit town. It's a shit town, but right there concentrated is dope as fuck.

Yeah, yeah. So much to do. The hotel I stayed in. And then it was like a thing around the corner, just like what you're talking about. The hotel I stayed in, my tour manager, we went, we went we did the show came back got into the and we were leaving we were leaving that night and my my hotel manager yo man it's a good thing we're leaving tonight and going to the next city i said why i walked in the lobby dude it was like a fucking rap video these bitches were amazing really yeah i go oh you're right it is a good thing we're leaving

dude it was unbelievable I'm like where are we why were they there did you have oh I don't know Missouri what is it the Springfield. Springfield. Bro. Great. Every state has a Springfield, too. You just assume it's going to be shitty. And this place, you walk in and you go, high end, dude. What do you do?

It was so amazing, man. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying, though. They had this, I got my hair cut. I always ask the front desk of a place, where's the foo- that's what i do where's the fufu place and they're like oh you probably want you get in there and it's just like it's like you're in springfield missouri and then every gay person in the state yeah is at this coffee shop that's no that's their headquarters no it's like that's hilarious yeah it's very redneck yeah and then you walk into this place and it's like you know the blue haired guy yeah yeah it's just like oh this is

where i'm making the cappuccinos yeah that's how you know it's good yeah it's like the headquarters the panini machine yeah yeah yeah different coffee roasts on the wall and i love that but even with like restaurants when i go out of town i i don't want to go to chili's or like no i'm like well yeah you want to see yeah where's the place that's been here 125 years i do that with coffee shops i don't want i don't want i'm not gonna sit and eat dinner and shit but like uh yeah anyway there was a spot there and it was so good and i was like this can't be good it was it was good dude they had keto breakfast sandwiches it was fucking hilarious yeah but anyway we we shout out to that place i don't know what it's called.

But everyone in there wants to move to like San Francisco or Portland. And they are. They're just waiting. They're practicing. Yeah. But there's always like, it's weird though. Practicing. Yeah. This is their Sims. They're getting ready for it. It's preseason

before they leave. When they move to New York before they leave. You know, there's a new to New York. They're in there like, get out of here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. ruin everybody and yeah and so it's interesting people that come from other places like la is a great i'm from la i was born and raised here man la is awesome and it's not the people that are from here it's you fucks that come from your shit no i get it i was 12 when i moved here bro so i

don't know if it counts for me and i was 24 so be cool that counts as your grown-ass man at 24 you're shitty you're part of the problem hey Hey. Hey. Yeah. Go back. Go back. The internet might be right about you. Go back. Go back. Go back. Go back. Get on, what's that gay one, Hinge?

Is Hinge the app, the dating app? No, Grindr. Grindr. So, what's going on, VIP racing, and where'd you get this shit? No, I bought it. Oh, no, no, no. I got it free. I had a guy work for R rude yeah rude's cool um who's vip racing vp racing is that what that is yeah for for like the races by the way they provide all so that's i pull in to the parking

lot and i see an orange truck and i'm like this motherfucker when'd you get the orange one i've had that oh you have yeah it used to be silver yeah oh oh okay it's a mod what happened the other truck just totaled that's it the old old trx don't oh that's back in the day yeah no i got my new one back in the day back in the day those just flipped those in january you guys saw the video three months later. It was in January. No, the new one's wild. But it's not back in the day. It's fucking April. Thank you.

We've already had a solar eclipse. I mean, come on. Bro. Well, good on you, man. Of course you have shoes that match the truck. I didn't mean to do that. Is that your thing? What are those shoes?

I believe you. Golden Goose. Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you leave the shoes in the truck? Just pull them out. Bro, I believe you. Golden Goose. Oh, yeah. Do you leave the shoes in the truck? Just pull them out. Bro, I have been an asshole buying shoes. Really? I've stopped.

An asshole. I got those one. Yes. Bro, I got another pair. And then I got two more pairs of different shoes. And then Drake had to drop his Nocta shoe in orange. And I go, oh, fuck. I was on a plane for five hours.

I was like, maybe I won't buy this. I bought it. I was bored. What are they? On the plane you bought it? I haven't seen the Drake's. I've been out of the shoe game. Yeah. So you don't go to stores anymore and try them on?

You just buy them and have them get sent? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He just looked at you like, you stupid bitch. I don't know how I feel about him. Okay, okay, okay. No, no, no. And I appreciate that. And I appreciate him saying that.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Now, Nick, now, Nick, Google him on feet. Three you-shits so far. Google him on feet. Nocta, hot step two on hot step foot i don't i don't like it you will yeah a little better oh come on well those jeans are crazy those jeans those jeans make it look so bad i can see why you know what i did it's definitely a dalia shoe so i walked i walked i was in drake has his own shoe yeah yeah he does the nocti shoes the orange one though forget it i liked

the other ones but the orange ones i thought forget it did you see the rap beef with uh kendrick drake and jay cole no i did i did then J. Cole was like, I'm out of this. I liked it. And then everyone's like, oh, you're a bitch, man. This isn't rap. What's this be? And he's like, no, I'm not into this, man. Yeah.

He's like, I like him. Why are we doing this? You guys are forcing me to do this. Yeah, just like afterwards, he was like, ah. He's like, you're starting to make me feel good. He's like, I like that guy. I went too hard. And of course, the internet's all nasty.

Like, oh, pussy, giving up. It's like, no, no, no. He's like, I don't like these negative nasty like oh pussy giving up it's like no no he's like i don't like these negative vibes man well it's not like well it's because when drake fucking destroyed meek mill or whatever it was and it's like that one song it was just like okay so this they have the ability to do this dude that was so old school man like ll koojie yeah yeah they used to really those were the days cannabis. Cannabis and LL Cool J. Cannabis, dude. Cannabis.

That guy was like, that was his thing. He was like a, he's just the greatest battle rapper. People love like those rap beefs or even in comedy. They like comedy beefs, podcast beefs. It's like people live for it. Let me tell you when the rap beefs stopped. When Tupac and Biggie were killed. I mean, it didn't really stop.

These rappers were like, oh, this is like a Homer Simpson meme going back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I don't want to die. But even that was stupid. It was so stupid. Apparently it was P. Diddy. I know. Who, by the way, has not been arrested yet.

He's living it up in Miami. What the hell? Every picture is him smoking. I'm just, what I'm saying is like, what happened? What happened? His son got charges now. But, yeah, he also posted that thing. He posted the music video on Instagram.

Did you see? He posted the old victory video. Wow. And people are like, comments on, what the fuck? Wow. Yeah, comments are on are on yeah it's crazy you know i just i just what i'm saying is like like you use that kind of military force to like you know and then you're like you have nothing it was yeah you're not arresting the guy

they didn't find anything pretty weird it is weird pretty weird they gotta go through it here's the thing too is that then they implied so So the first TMZ implies that he's trying to escape. The next day they show him at the airport talking to the cops. Okay. So he's talking to the cops like, yo, what's going on? They arrest this guy that's got drugs. And then he's just kind of like, you know. Now he's putting his videos up on Instagram like, they trying to get me, but they not going to get me.

It's like, damn, this guy is like Al Capone or some shit, man. me but they not gonna get me it's like damn this guy's like al capone or some man yeah some people think it's similar to the jeffrey epstein stuff where they went to raid his house to get all the videos and stuff that because there's politicians and big time actors and singers on there to destroy all the evidence and that's it that's it he's just gonna scott free just think about that jislene maxwell she's in prison they have all her information they have all the evidence no one's been arrested is that not weird to you not a single person except for her it's pretty weird she's probably like i'll stay in here but right you know what i mean like tom cruise in the firm you know it's all yeah who knows i love that movie it runs deep

i love that movie that's one deep. I love that movie. It's one of my favorite. That's one of those movies, if it's on, I'll watch it. I don't know why. I'm, dude,

I know exactly what you're talking about. What the fuck is that? It's just one of those movies, you know what's about to happen. I know. You already know, but you're just like, oh,

I love this. Yeah. He's, he's just got that thing. But that's the ultimate. I mean, he could have also. Yeah,

I know. He was already raised a little weird. Yeah. But he went from like, ah, he stayed a movie star. You talking about Tommy Cruise? Yeah, he could also be like. Scientology keeps him in line. Yeah, but I don't know, man.

Yeah. I feel like there's something funky going on. We're obviously never going to know. No. Well, we don't know. You'll never know. Well, the biggest. I mean, you just look at this.

They said he was basically the black Epstein. And with Epstein, they have all the data, the logs, and we don't get any info. I know, but check this out. They're never going to release it. Check this out how it's different. Epstein was arrested 20 years ago. Okay? He was arrested.

They got him. And then some politician let him go, right? Because he has shit on him. But I know, but what I'm saying, though, is that he was arrested for crime yes this guy has not been arrested right like there's not like they i don't get it it depends how who he has on there because they said at those parties like there's some big names on there how about this how about this they're always talking about these parties right why isn't there how many people were at the parties? Hundreds?

Hundreds. Oh, yeah. Where are all the people talking about, yeah, I was at a ditty party and this happened. Wow. I saw this. Because they know. No, no, but what I'm trying to say is like...

That's a good point. Because they know what's up. Yeah, but no, but I'm saying... What does that mean? Yeah, I don't know what that means. All I'm saying is like, everyone cloud chases. Yeah.

In this day and age, if you were at a party and you saw some shady shit, right now, you would be out on the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like all these bodyguards that are coming out. Yeah, but notice it's only the bodyguards. Yeah, but we're the people that were at the party. No one is saying that. No, because I think what Diddy's thinking, it wasn't like,

let's say the party started at, let's say nine. The shit he did was in the filming apparently was in the rooms and that was like late night. So you're not dealing with just, you know, if Casey was invited to the party and he's talking about it, he wasn't invited to that weird shit. It was only a certain handful of people that were in those groups. Right, right, right. It's crazy Casey was invited. Yeah. Many of times.

Casey was in there just fucking. PD just opens the door. Casey! Yep. The, yeah, they're fucking, what? Dude, did Meek Mill do anything? Because everyone's just like, they're killing him. Yeah.

Because there's all these pictures of him like in the pool sitting on sitting on freaking diddy's lap and shit it's weird man well i mean he did not help the situation with his tweet about like you listen just fyi to anyone if you are gay that's and you don't want people to know because that's no one's business, the way not to do that is to come out and be like, I love pussy. I know that, but P-U-S-S-Y. Yeah, that didn't help them out. Yeah, but they're still doing it.

They wouldn't not do it. But that only added fuel to the fire. Sure, yeah. It's like when you have that white friend say, I'm not racist. It's like, yeah. I always believed that white friend. That's how you're racist Um I don't know man. I don't you're saying what happened with Meek Mill what happened with uh you know The bodyguard stories are always my favorite well. They're fucking crazy

I know but these guys are like I was you know at the door and then Ja Rule came to the door Suckin' em off. Yeah Ja Rule had a towel on. You're like, why are you telling this story to me? He's like, I got to record it. And you listen to this all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that could be anybody. Like, I've jerked off to that porn before.

That guy's never been. That's not it. He's never worked again, right? No. Right? No. You're not working anymore, right? Right, right.

Of course. Like, your bodyguard services are done. Yeah, you want to write a book. It's like, get out of here. But then also, I would assume his first action, he went to Pete Diddy. He was like, I need 50 mil and I'm going to to write a book. It's like, get out of here. But then also, I would assume his first action, he went to Pete Diddy. He was like, I need 50 million.

I'm going to tell everybody. Pete Diddy was like, no one gives a fuck. Good luck, man. Because he knows he looks batshit crazy. Everybody's like, now it's like the NDA things. People are just like, fuck NDA. I don't care. It's like, okay.

Then what's the point? I don't even know. I don't know. I mean, I just feel like the guy. NDAs only work on other rich people that have money. They don't work on, like if it's a rich guy and you have a broke guy send to NDA, what are you going to go after? It's 97 Honda Civic. It's only rich people that can hurt each other.

Yeah, if you took the Honda Civic, what are they going to do? How's Nick going to get to work? You know what I mean? You take his car to his house and the same thing. I don't know. I just feel like I'm about justice. Get justice, right? Go for the justice.

And I just feel like, because first of all, when the FBI or the Homeland Security or anybody's trying to get you. The feds? If it's in the papers, it's not real. Okay? That's why we didn't hear about that. TMZ wasn't like, Homeland Security is on his tail. Because then he would be like, oh, Homeland Security hey, uh...

Erase all the stuff. Anytime you see that, guys, it's not real. It's like this happened. Military force, they got his kids in handcuffs. They're going, you know, did you see the videos? His ex-wife

or the mom of the kids put these videos out where they were really going in and you're like okay and she's like this not how you handle young black man it's like no no i like no no be mad at diddy i know but he's the one that put him in that situation you moron it's not a racist thing but it's like whatever the situation is at the end it's like did they not find what they were looking for? Because I feel like it's like a thing where whoever's suing him, the cops are like, so what's going on? He was like, well, there's this one room. And it's like, here's the thing, how you get to that room.

And then like- You need more than- They went- I'll say this without getting in trouble. I know people that were involved in it, and they found some shit. Okay, well, when is it coming out? That I can't speak on. They found some shit. Okay, well, when is it coming out? You know, that I can't speak on. They found some shit.

Okay, well, we'll see. But you're dealing with like big, powerful people. You know what I'm saying? So it goes deep. And I think they have to have their ducks in a row before they announce anything because then... Yeah, I get that.

You know, so it takes a while. Because they're not just going to get them on one thing. They're building the whole fucking case. Go ahead and enjoy Miami. I think Diddy did 9-11. I think that he did 9-11. That's fair. Yeah.

What's crazy, that would be crazy if that's the stuff they found out. Like, they're trying to get him for whatever they're trying to get him for, but then they find a room and they're like, your grandfather shot Kennedy? Yeah. That would be sick. Wait a second. Wait a second. Your shredder? Your grandfather shot Kennedy? Yeah. That would be sick. That would be so sick. Wait a second.

Your shredder? So stupid. It's like, I don't know, like. You're behind COVID? It's like you think someone's just like whatever their public persona. Like he's just some rapper guy and he was making the band on. I used to love making the band. That was my thing.

You know what I mean? I used to love that shit. You're like, yo, motherfuckers, I need some cheesecake. They're like, it's one in the morning. My favorite one was when there was that, the girls one, and there was that last episode

and he was like, he was like, he was revealing everything about them. You know, he was like, y'all always got me on TV looking like an asshole. Let's reveal that. It's like, you fired, you fired.

You know, it's like, fired you fired you know it's like okay that's who we think he is he's kind of this aloof but then to come to find out he's some master criminal yeah it's crazy but also but also makes sense i guess when you put all the put all together like oh of course anyway i was fucking walking by and the guy had on the fucking nocta orange shoes and i didn't know they were out yet. And I go, oh, those are out. And I got them later on on the plane. And then I realized that they aren't out.

The guy had them and I ordered them on StockX and I'm getting them early, dude. So fuck off, players. You sure that guys weren't fake that you saw them? So when you're looking at people, you look at shoes? Is that a thing you both do? Honestly. I used to. Now all my money goes to car parts.

No, what I'm saying, do you look at shoes? I'm saying you're walking around and you notice shoes. Oh. Yes. It's the first thing I notice. I never. Oh, and I judge everybody. Never.

It's like. Look at people's shoes. It's like looking at an ass or tits. Yeah. I'll actually notice somebody's shoes first before I notice tits, ass, or wiener. Well. I don't discriminate. I just threw wiener in the end there.

Is that the order? We'll see. You don't go wiener first and then go, I wonder what kind of shoes he's got. My tits, my ass, my wiener, and my shoes. Now, look at the shoes first. You look at the shoes first and you go, I bet this guy's got an oppressive wiener. And then you go. Yep. I look at the shoes.

That's a big foot. I bet he got the dick on him. Did you see this thing? Speaking of how Ricky Martin is supposedly super erect on stage. With Madonna? At a Madonna concert. That ass will get you, man. I don't think it's her.

No, that ass don't get you. She looks like she is a stocking over a cotton. Is there a video of Ricky? Cotton. So stupid. You're so stupid oh wait oh that's how I got the boner that'll get ya

that's how I got the boner this is a Madonna concert oh you are you kidding me do you remember Vogue yeah you know she's a Madonna's trying to cover up his wiener.

Because it went down when the girl came out. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. People were freaking. Is that Madonna over there on the other side? Oh, he does have a bit of a chub. Does it go back? But also, yeah, he's gay.

And these naked dudes are basically putting their wieners on his. Yeah, but also. Unsee it. 25,000 people are there. Unsee it. You know what I mean? Oh, man. 25,000 people are there.

Dude, people were brokenhearted when he came out of his game. I'm just saying... You wouldn't get hard? You're saying you wouldn't get hard? I'm saying it's terrible that he did. I don't think I would. Yeah, it's like that's a... Yeah.

You know what I mean? I don't think I would... Dude, DJ Khaled is a menace. Yeah, on the internet. It's an internet menace. It's crazy. Because he put a fucking, yeah, he's like DJ the menace. He put the fucking pictures up on Instagram, and he was like, yo.

These were just pictures with an audio over it. Instagram and he was like, yo, these were just pictures with an audio over it. He was like, I just found out you could put up pictures and put an audio over it. So now I could tell y'all how I feel. It was like, dude, just do a video.

Right? He is a lunatic. It's like, what? Remember when he was on the workout kick? And he was like constantly on the fucking this thing, like nonstop. And then just went away two weeks later. Every morning it was him like, I'm losing weight, baby. That's a hard thing to do is to like start losing.

Like tell people online, hey, I'm working out, guys. You know, it's like, it's what I'm doing. It holds you accountable. It does really hold you accountable. That's why you do it. Until you fucking crash and you give up. Right, yeah, yeah. You know, it's like, it's what I'm doing. It holds you accountable. It does really hold you. That's why you do it. You know what I mean? Until you fucking crash and you give up. Right, right. And then people are like. But he would always show it.

What if you're working out? Yeah, but he would always show it and then never lost any weight. Like, a month went by. Like, all right, bro. What's going on here? Yeah. It's hard to. The thing is, like, I'm at a point now where I need to know that I can go without the

trainer, that it's a part of my thing. I don't know if I'm not there yet, but I do love working out. The way I got up to... I don't want to fuck my shoulders up, so I don't do the bench press a lot. I get on the machine. Rogan told you that?

Did he tear the shoulders? Because he had his shoulder. When you do the bench press, you can't adjust if you're having an issue. That's how you hurt your shoulders when you're older. Oh, damn. So I got a- Rogan doesn't bench? No.

But I did 160 on the thing now. Smith press? Yeah. That's good. I mean, you don't have to bench press. You don't have to do bench. Yeah. That's what I'm saying, though.

I mean, it's cool, but you can do have to do bench. Yeah. That's what I'm saying though. I get the machine. I mean, it's cool, but like you can do dumbbells and shit. Yeah, I do dumbbells. Do you wear gloves? No. You wear gloves. No, I work out safe. I wear a condom,

but I don't usually wear gloves. I have a condom on. Because your dick is out of it? Oh, laugh now, but I was in the elevator once. Somebody stuck me with this range of AIDS and I go, joke's on you. I'm wearing a condom.

Makes sense. Yeah, I guess. So I have this fucking crazy headache. That sounds like a kid's philosophy. It was like, I can't get AIDS. I have on a condom. I think that's one of those old Polish guy in an elevator jokes. You know what I mean?

You remember how it would be those? You know those old Polish jokes? Would you do those when you were kids? Like, hey, how do you stop a Polish guy from yada yada? Instead of, you know what I mean? It was always Polish. Polish jokes didn't come to Denver. Yeah.

In New Jersey, they were hot. But those jokes were started by white people. So white people did those jokes. Yeah. That wasn't something you would joke about. were you guys too old for your mama jokes no did you miss that train no my favorite your mama joke your mama's so fat yeah my favorite one ever dude i think some of them were funny the one that none of them were as funny as your mama's so fat your mama's so fat we're in her out of all wow it killed me dude yeah it was so dumb there's so many better

ones than that like yeah i remember when malcolm x movie came out was your your mom was so fat she puts on a malcolm x shirt and a helicopter i get it but that's but that's too funny the other one is so ridiculous stupid i i i yes that is, but that joke is only funny in a series of jokes. So someone had to start the joke. Yes. And then they finish it with, well, your mama's so fat, we in the bitch right now. Totally agree. Totally agree.

Totally agree. Totally agree. Totally agree. I had one. I said, your mama's so fat, Charmin had to make a towel. Oh, no. That's good.

That's a good one. There are a lot of funny ones. I mean, it's good that's a good one there are a lot of funny ones i mean it's so stupid but also it never really was that great because my mom is not so fat so if you said it to me it'd be like yeah but there's no truth in it yeah right you know skinny it sucks me if your mom really is fat then it's very funny though too and you could tell the kids mom you're like oh i'm gonna do something else your mom is so broke. Yeah. Oh, your mom's broke too. See, I come from an era where you don't talk about somebody's mom.

That's so weird to me. I remember getting into a fight in my neighborhood because somebody said something about my mom. That's so weird to me. Yeah. That's the sound it was. Same thing. Yeah, I agree. Same thing.

I freaking punched a guy. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then we got in trouble. And my mom was like what happened you know i was defending you he was talking about you and my mom looked at me like what but if anyone if you knew what was on if someone said something about your parent especially your mom i remember my brother wanted me to fight this kid and the kid said something like yeah that's why your mom and i heard some kid behind me go oh we saw about your mom i look around as my brother i was like oh that's your mom and I hear some kid behind me go, ooh, we're talking about your mom. I look around. It's my brother.

I was like, oh, that's your mom too, Mark. Oh, that's hilarious. He just wanted me to fight. I don't. Yeah. I just go like this. Your brother's a fucking menace. He was. Yeah.

He was bad. But I go like, when somebody's like, your mom is like this, I just literally think, you don't know my mom. Of course. No. You ruin everything. It's because you're. I make it better.

You ruin all the fun. You were mature as a kid. I was. I was. I was. Negotiating in the fight, you know. Those were fighting words. Guys, guys, guys.

My mom. I was crazy, bro. My mom's short. That's how Calvin is. That's so funny. That's how Calvin is, too. Just trying to. That's funny because that's the way out of it.

Just trying to make people explain it. Your mama's so fat. He was like. When's the way out of it just trying to make people explain it your mama's so fat he was like but when's the last time you saw my mom yeah where'd you see her you know

just confusing the gang members or whatever see kids are fucking brutal they have no even high school elementary

even back in my day kids didn't give oh fuck that's why you ain't got a dad you're like god damn there's something about that that's like I remember like kid this our kids would be a kids can walk up to like somebody in a wheelchair with no legs and the kid would be like what's up with your legs yeah you know what I mean oh my son does it yeah what's wrong with you and then their liability we're the

ones that make him go hey you don't do that but the person with no legs they might be like well this is what No, they're cool about it. Especially with the kids. There was somebody, sorry in advance, Jin, but there was somebody that was a long time ago. There was a kid on a subway and an Asian person walked in and the kid goes, ching, chong, ching, chong, ching, chong, ching, like that. And it's like oh my god bro and the mom's like

ha ha ha ha ha where the fuck did you learn that did the Asian guy kick him in the face like kung fu you're saying yeah

Brendan you think I didn't want to make those jokes at the Chinese fighters in the UFC and I didn't I didn't they all make those jokes at the chinese fighters in the ufc and i didn't i didn't they all went in my head i go like this you saw a fight in your head no tiger the other day people from school he rolled down he rolls down the window he sees his friend he's like he's like ty ty i'm like damn dude what are you doing

he's like my friend i'm like which friend he's like chocolate the kid with chocolate face amazing amazing whoa because it's not. Because it's not racist. Whoa. Because it's not racist. No, there's not racist bone in his body. It's so weird, bro. I rolled up the window. Isn't that hilarious?

You need to lay low. Don't call your new friend chocolate face. Yeah, but you know when it's something like that, you know it's like. It's the parents. If a kid is saying some shit, a young kid is saying some really racist shit. They say, yeah, yeah, yeah. Racist, racist, racist. We would go like this.

Right, right, right. 100%. 100%. But to him, it's just like chocolate. Like my chocolate friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, I'm sure, how it started. We don't call them chocolate faces.

You know what we do call them? Oh, no. I saw you on snapchat with theo there's just the you know snapchat is like the worst it's worse with me with theo no chris and so they're talking about theo and tucker carlson and whatever's happening they're talking about theo and they they had this clip of you and theo and when he said he was talking about the nicaragua yeah that went crazy viral so it was like they're still you know it was funny shout out to his i don't even want to say it nicgar because he's yeah and it was funny it's a funny clue yeah i thought you know what was funny too was like i didn't know that tucker carlson went to kill tony but he didn't know what it was and

rogan put him on there. And when that dude goes, man, my mom hates you. Yeah, that shit was so funny. You know, it's like I love – He didn't know what it was? No. Why would he know what it is? Why would he agree to it?

Because he's – Because Rogan. He's with Rogan. They're doing the thing where he's like, you got to get on here. He's like, all right. You can tell he's like – He actually looked like – Yeah, he looked like he was having a good time.

No. What I'm saying is I love seeing people like that outside of like this element this world that we think they are it goes such a long ways for him he's like

oh he's normal I know I know you know cause you see him as like he has his strong opinions about whatever but when he's outside of that

you know it's like it's like like Sean Hannity needs to do something like this so he doesn't always look like such a douche. Yeah.

You know? Like Don Lemon would never do this. I got to taste something. Wait. One of the biggest things in comedy right now. It's so big, yeah. I thought you were telling us a secret. No, no, no, no.

He's massive. There's a guy that was like. They're doing Madison Square Garden. This club that I just had in Tulsa, it was terrible. I've been talking about it on here enough like this. Nobody came. Okay, it was like. But this kid that was on here, some kid who doesn't even really do comedy,

that uncle something or other. Sold it out. I think his shows are sold out. Oh, yeah. Wow. No, Kill Tony's massive. Okay, well, I'm well i'm done massive i'm quitting the business massive well yeah but it's really big that show it's it's they do a madison square garden yeah they're doing the forum right uh yeah i think they're oh no it's jelly roll he's doing uh staples so cats shout out to crypto

to kill tony tony hinch i'm gonna when I go to mothership I'm gonna do it you say that Monday because he only does on Mondays I do it you got anything for us next for fans yeah Nick serious joke thing yeah oh you are a couple of shows but

I'm doing Matt show at the Hollywood Bowl is that Netflix is a joke yeah oh yeah and then I and then I'm gonna do I think I'm I think I'm doing Matt's show at the Hollywood Bowl. Is that Netflix as a joke? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And then I'm going to do, I think I'm doing one at the Laugh Factory. I'm going to do Eric and Friends. Oh, got it. Cool.

What's up, Golden Hour crew? My name's Katrina. I'm calling in from Washington State. I just moved here about a month ago. I knew she was from up there. And my question is, what is your serial killer trait? I used to have a coworker that used to eat bananas with the peel still on. I also have a friend who would wear socks to bed all the time, even in the summer.

And I think mine is I eat corn on the cob vertically, and I eat it from each individual kernel in a row. I feel like it comes off cleaner, and I don't get as much stuff stuck in my teeth. That's just smart. What is your serial killer trait? I don't eat corn on the cob. Thanks. Love you guys.

Bye. Cut it off. Oh, no. I love corn on the cob. Cut it off. It's the same thing. I do. I deep think that.

I do the same thing. I like to get the corn on the cob. Yeah, same. That's some ho shit, man. Yeah, it's ho shit, but sometimes ho's are right. Ho's can't be wrong all the time. No, they can't. No, they're That's some ho shit, man. Yeah, it's ho shit, but sometimes ho's are right. Ho's can't be wrong all the time. No, they can't.

No, they're good at some stuff. And she has a really low bar for serial killer, right? Yeah. What's mine? Where do we start? Are you kidding me? Well, the one that first comes to mind is I like it to be 77 degrees in my house. That's hot.

So you must have people in your basement. Yeah. And it stinks. Bro, I woke up this morning. 77 degrees. That's fucking ridiculous. Quiet. Dude, I was.

I was. I woke up this morning at like eight or something, seven something. Bro, I was shivering. woke up this morning at like eight or something seven something bro i was shivering and i looked at the fucking temp it was 70 degrees and i go dude you're a hoe bro i was you're such a bitch i was i was frigid and it was 70 degrees i got so pissed off and i was like i gotta change it i was like on my phone you know because i so pissed off, and I was like, I got to change it. I was looking at my phone, you know,

because I got on my phone, and I'm like, I don't even want to move this hand up out of the covers to hit the heat, to go up, and I was like, you got to do it though, Chris,

and I did it, and I made it to go to 73. I hear the thing, boom, cool. I know my wife's going to get mad, but I can't. I'm shivering, okay? I go to bed. I wake up an. Boom. Cool. I know my wife's going to get mad, but I can't. I'm shivering.

Okay? I go to bed. I wake up an hour later. Dude. Shivering. God. It needs to be 77. How about get a blanket?

I got blankets. No, you know what it is? I think there's... Give me blankets! You guys need more meat on your bones. You guys are so fucking skinny. Dude, it's not that, bro. All all you are skinny your whole family's thing his whole skin Can't keep what color am I you were clear? Yeah, that's what it is, dude. It sucks

I love being warm so much once you move to like Arizona or some I would I love it being that hot No, that's weird. You're ridiculous. I hate that. Well, that's mine. That's my sewer. That is. Yeah. All right. What's yours? I don't have anything like that. I hate my hand. It drives me nuts when my hands are wet.

I'll leave them out of the hot tub or in the pool. I leave my hands out. Oh, that's pretty good. Even the shower, I don't like it when my hands are wet. I'll fucking kill anybody. That's weird. Yeah. Okay.

That's fucking weird. Bring them over to my house. They'll dry in a second. Yeah, I don't like my hands wet. Stick your hands in my house. They'll dry. That's so dumb. So stupid.

He doesn't even come. He just is like, open up the window. He's like a doggy. He puts his hands on your doggy door he's gonna be like oh there we go what's yours eric what's yours i don't even know if i have something i probably do and don't even realize it how about giving uh like uber eats and postmates guys shit all the time bro don't even give me it happened the other day i did a

whole story on my podcast yes it's such hoes leave me alone did he deliver it happened the other day. I did a whole story on my podcast. You guys are such hoes. Leave him alone. Did he deliver it to the wrong fucking address? Well, your house, A, there's no service. So the guy probably gets there. He's like, what the fuck? How about this? How about this? So the other day, I live in this townhouse area.

So I come up and there's a guy standing there. He's got packages. And he's looking around. And he comes over to me and he says, hey, is this this address? So let's say my address is 1008, right? This shit says 197, you know? And I just, I look at the thing and I look at him. And I just go, you're not in the right place.

You don't know that? This is the thing. When you, like, you don't fucking know you're in oh dude my i'm going to punch him my whole thing is yeah this is when you when you can't explain to the person how wrong they are without sounding like a fucking dick okay like an asshole you're like how do i say this oh bro how do i say this in a non-dick way but the thing i have to say is well did you look at the address yeah yeah how do i not be a dick i know so it's like it's like that person needs to just completely change yeah but part you don't have any remorse that they're fucking driving your food from no it's it's

this isn't a government assigned job they didn't get a they didn't get something in the mail and it said you must do this these motherfuckers chose to do this look getting a job killing it getting a job is hard if you have a job fortunate. All right? I get that not everyone wants to be a fucking Uber Eats driver. So I understand if you're not doing it to your fullest. But my address is my address. I'm with you, Chris. But your service by your house is awful. I'm on their defense.

I get lost. When I'm looking out in the street, you know, like I'm a pila bird just out on the street just looking, okay? Like I'm a pila bird from Gartner Bambin and I know what that is because of Calvin, but I'm out here doing it like that and I see, dude, a man carless with a bag yeah I know he parked somewhere

but he's just like yeah you just have your binoculars ready dude he's so far and I go oh no and I go is he far enough

to go back to the car or is he closer to just walk to the and when he walks up and he says, this happened. I know why I messed up. I'm already mad because I can't wait to hear what he has to say. Thank you for at least taking accountability. Ownership.

I know why I messed up. The address numbers on your street, they go up and then they go back down. Yeah. Where do they do that? No, they don't. On the planet. That doesn't happen. But this is the moment where you almost want to take him by his arm like this and go,

all right, show me. Let's do a little trip. Yeah. Let's do a little trip. No, no, no. Let's go. You fucking show me. That's a 6-7-5-9.

It's a 6-7-5-11. Yeah, yeah. Let's show him. Let's keep going. And then you're so petty, you want to just keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're at 6-7. You want to be like, 5-4-5'5", 5'4", 5'9".

Way past your fucking house. Okay, let me. This is my serial killer trait. I'll tell you. Now I know. I'm at GameStop one day. All right? And I had bought a used whatever it was.

Okay? Okay. It was broken. So I bring it back. And the kid behind it. It's a kid too behind the counter. You've told me this. Okay.

And he goes. He goes. I goes i said yeah this is broken he goes well you know it's not our responsibility you know because it was broken from the previous i said i said you sold it i wish imagine walking in and i'm like oh my god i'm going in no no you're going to learn right now you know and i was like no no this is your responsibility and he wouldn't let it go i was like listen if you own a restaurant and you buy some meat from the butcher and it is rancid and you sell it to your customers that's your responsibility you know and i go we don't have that superman shirt on and then the manager comes out that's hilarious the manager comes out you know and i'm explaining that then i'm not i'm not letting it go i was like let me explain this is what this your your employee oh wow oh i wish i saw this and then

their manager goes you know you're right sir uh you know what i mean and i was like yeah well you need to tell him because quick question how how old was the game though was it like double dragon Quick question. How old was the game, though? Was it like Double Dragon 2? How old was the kid? No, was it Double Dragon 2 from like 94? That was Calvin's age. But my thing is like when I'm not.

It was Altered Beast. When I'm not angry. Sir, you about to get angry. Tetris. You know what's up. And now a person can react to your anger. When you get me in those moments where I got to go, huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're going to have a little. We're going to explain this to you right now in those moments where i gotta go oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean we're gonna we're gonna have a little we're gonna we're gonna explain this to you right yeah yeah that's when i'm like that's now when eric walks in the game stop they're all that's when i when i walk in but the thing is like it's like sometimes people just when this guy is standing here in my in the in the hallway and he's and he had by the way he had two packages with the wrong and would not the address on it you know and so ah it drives me nuts bro it's like it drives me nuts i was like you're not in the right place oh and i just go this is kansas you just you're just thinking and now i'm having empathy for these people who are not going get their shit because guy oh wow you know I just it just happens like that you gotta eat it that's just probably never happened to you with a

girl but these kind of places where you order your tracking you're waiting you're waiting then like 45 minutes in it goes your order has been canceled oh oh oh hey dude hey Hey, dude. Fuck my mouth. Fuck my mouth. Oh, fuck my mouth. No. The only time it gets to me is when you pay for the priority, you know, like the priority delivery. And it says, you know, 10 to 15 minutes. It says, sorry, your order is taking longer than usual. And you're like, oh, hell no.

That's okay if it's a restaurant's fault as long as it shows up and it's not cold. If it shows up cold and you know the driver was dilly-dallying fuck my mouth Okay, but dude or if you see them do an extra stop when you paid for a priority and I'll engage With the with the actual app of like hey, I paid for a party like well, you know, it's an order system That's how it goes somebody else before you see the car going like this turning away from your house what the is going on with this car man is it upside down but chris i'm looking at this i gotta go like this i gotta put it down yeah that's what my wife says that's what kristen says she said you gotta let it go i don't know what's

going on with this guy because the place is right there. You guys are a nightmare to deliver to. Our wives have to talk about this because I go nuts, dude. I go nuts. But Rachel wants it. Don't be like that until she orders some food. She needs some shit. Oh, no. She's like, babe, can you do the thing?

Dude, Tristan could walk in the room from the front door with the postmates and be like, good, we have our food. Bleeding. The guy came in. Here's your food. Stabbed him. And shemates and be like good we have our food bleeding the guy came in here's your food stabbed them and she was like we got all of our food she's like fucking say something she's like no everything's fine no the only time i'll get pissed is if they fuck up the sauce if it's a smell like if you order taco bell or del taco and then there's no hot sauce and you're like oh that's what you're well yeah really that's like this guy's weird yeah we're talking about we don't get our food yeah people aren't doing their job right if you get tacos or

if you get chick-fil-a and you needed the sauce and there's no sauce you're like well you eat it with sauce right or you tag bundy and you're eating dry tacos I eat dry tacos you know you're you're now there's nothing we can do you know what you are you're a regular person yep tell them about it we are I'm normal we are normal we are high functioning idiots and we are we are we are but in it like in a savant way no you guys are you're divas you eats divas. I'm fine with that. And you know what? It also says when it delivers, be careful of these fucking morons.

What if it did? Imagine if it said, be careful. The drivers are morons. Oh, no, there's an alert. Just so you know. There's an alert. I would like that. But the thing is,

ordering something to your place is already a diva thing. Very good. Fuck yeah, dude. For everyone. Eric, we're involved together. Fucking go to the restaurant, man. You're right, dude.

Go get your sauce from fucking Chick- Most times I have to. Wait, wait, wait. You're ordering Chick-fil-A? That's crazy. You're crazy. That is crazy. Of course we're not going to put the sauce in.

Here's what's even more crazy. It's less than a mile from my house. Oh, that's crazy. You're crazy. That is crazy. Of course we're not going to put the sauce in. Here's what's even more crazy. It's less than a mile from my house. Oh, that's crazy. So fuck your mouth. That's crazy. Yeah, that is crazy. That is crazy, bro. Lazy it is.

What a fucking disgusting thing to do. Uber eats in Chick-fil-A from a mile from my house. Just like, thanks. Less than a mile. But we're the divas. Hey, less than a mile. Did than a mile did you get the hard stuff no fuck i even over tip i all the time oh you know what you said you didn't change it what did you say i over me too same oh yeah and you know when you go when you gotta go in and change

it because they fucked it up oh zero dude i'm on the group because you can't get all that money on the phone so you gotta fucking chat Motherfucker I'm chatting This is me This is what I'm doing You give me my fucking tip back Cause this motherfucker Did not do the shit right

That's me You guys are horrible people I want my tip back You know what I mean Do you ever change the tip If they notice you That's what I just Oh wait what

Do you ever have someone like What the fuck D'Elia No I don't I wait No I say drop it off I don't open the door And fucking I let them i don't want them to see me what aren't you engaging one time i one time i fuck no dude so you're just this black i i i have a one of those fucking

scullies on what do they call them no uh shysty mask no but they have the um i do a thing where uh i have them leave it i say leave it. I say, leave it at the door. They leave it at the door. Because I showed up once and I did it. And it was like, oh, hey, what's up? I swear to God, a week later, somehow that guy's headshot was on my fucking front door. Bullshit. Yeah.

So I go, well, never greeting them again. Yeah. Yeah. I can't do that. What am I going to do? You guys are monsters. I would never. That person? I would never talk to those scumbags. That person't do that. What am I going to do? You guys are monsters. I would never. That person?

I would never talk to those scumbags. That person is Tom Hardy. So I did really a lot for him. But anyway, Charlotte and all those other dates. St. Petersburg, Florida. The new, what is it in Scottsdale? I forgot the name of the place. Stand Up Live?

Yeah, it's a new improv, I believe it is. Yeah, the Desert Ridge Improv. April 19th through the 21st. Mothership, 26th through the 28th. And then, oh yeah, Netflix is a Joke, May 9th at the Laugh Factory. Nice. I just dropped new Toontown from MIT 400 with Donald Cerrone. It's on toontown

youtube right now go check it out love you guys Thank you.