The Golden Hour - What Happen’s Now? | The Golden Hour #23 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

The guys talk John Wick 4, eating at strip clubs, the ridiculousness of pro athlete fashion, Brendan's sad visit to SeaWorld, their daily routines and how often they shower, Erik on the George Lopez Show, Chris meeting Nick's sister at the airport,  best Denzel Washington movies and much more!   DraftKings Presenting - Download the DraftKings app and use promo code GOLDEN    Call [phone] or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA), Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (CO/IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/OH/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MA/MD/MI /NH /NJ/ NY/OH/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. VOID IN ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply. Bonus bets (void in MA/NH/OR): Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 pre-fight moneyline bet. Bet must win. $150 issued as six (6) $25 bonus bets. Bonus Bets are non-cashable and cannot be withdrawn. Bonus bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in any returns or winnings. Bonus Bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Promotional offer period ends 5/28/23 at 11:59PM ET. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/mmaterms.

You know, they gonna be like, Dad, what's going on? I'm gonna be like, oh, I don't want to pay the bill. Yeah, so we not doing stuff that we don't want to do. Let's keep going. Yeah, what else? So we gonna be living in darkness. We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout.

Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about. But that won't stop us. Nothing can stop us ooooooooh I can show you use the love just rebrand it enough it's stronger, better, bigger power cause it is the golden hour it's the gold in our world.

You got chunky Asics on? No, these are Balenciaga. Oh, are they? I mean, that's the Asics. Is it a collab? No, they just kind of stole that idea. I would sue if I did. Okay, so Louisville Comedy Club, April 20th through the 22nd.

And then the Comedy Mothership. I'm going to be at the Mothership in Austin. Oh, cool. 28th through the 22nd. And then the Comedy Mothership. I'm going to be at the Mothership in Austin. 28th through the 30th. Is that like a headlining thing that you're doing there? Yeah, a couple of five shows. And it's on the weekend? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. What room? They have different rooms, right? I have no idea. They have a main room and a small room. That's pretty cool, man.

Like the store. No, I know, but don't they have two? Two rooms. He's in the main room. Got it. That's awesome. And then I'm probably going to do Kill Tony that Monday also, but whatever. Before it or after it? After. He does it on Mondays. Right, right.

Mondays is tough. It's fine. I'll have to get an early flight to get here for this. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's going to be a nightmare, but it is what it is. Chris, your tickets just went on sale right yeah Chris

go ahead okay let me get them up here there are a few cities just let's chrystalia.com you know I know you hate

when I say my website but just go there yeah where up there yeah go to

chrystalia.com yeah hey how was your guys this weekend true but yeah well Hamilton Ontario's probably sold out at this point,

but we have a lot of different ones here going up. I don't know. It's not coming up here. Charlotte, North Carolina, Knoxville, Little Rock I'm going to be in. Have you ever played Little Rock? No. I don't know if I ever have. Yeah, I don't think I have.

Nashville, Calgary, Edmonton, Ottawa, Montreal. Oh, Canada. Shit. Hamilton. Cleveland, Detroit, Orlando, Fort Myers. Yeah yeah and then i have more coming up soon so walt disney theater yeah yeah yeah it's uh it's a it's a it's awesome i'm excited so well i'll be at magic city in atlanta thursday friday saturday magic city strip club but really i'm there for comedy punchline Thursday Friday Saturday Atlanta come get you some oh you know I hear

that I've never been to a strip club in Atlanta and they are it's like the craziest shit ever right Magic City's like pro ball for strip clubs it's the all-star game and the food's ridiculous dude I was just talking about this with someone so you've you've eaten at a strip club before Matt so I've heard all the good

things about Magic City that Lou Williams the basketball player okay when they're in the bubble remember they weren't allowed to leave the wings are so good he left the bubble got busted to buy those wings and go back to the hotel yeah it was suspended he went for wings yeah yeah okay that's the story yeah now i now i posted that and was like these wings gotta be good if lou williams gonna take a six game suspension he had, man, this is that shit I don't need pushing this narrative. I was like, whoa, hey, be cool, man. You only got suspended. So anyway, I didn't go to the strip club.

I Postmates the wings that he ordered. Okay. Now, that's great. $120. Check this out. You're a Postmate driver, you know what I mean? And you're going to go pick up. I mean, that's awesome, right?

That's funny. If you have a girlfriend or wife, they're going to be like, were you at the strip club? It's like, I was picking up wings. Just do all the food. They were the best wings I've ever had. Okay, so hold on. What I don't understand is he got a suspension for going to a strip club? Because Joe, he got a suspension from leaving the bubble.

Oh, the COVID thing. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Okay. Which none of that made sense because you're allowed to have your side pieces in the bubble, and then they could come and go. If you left, you got suspended. Were they going to say, hey, no side pieces? They make an announcement?

Can you believe that? It was a whole thing. They can't say no side pieces. You know, I did a thing for the Rams a few years back. Sean McVay just started becoming the coach. And so I was at their practice facility. And so I was in a cart, and I'm driving around with certain players, and we're just having an interview.

And then he was like, every single one was like, yeah, would a family bunker, not bunker, but where the family sit is right here. The section? I asked every single one of them. I was like, so where did the side piece sit? Did they say anything? And every guy was like, come on, man. Why you got to Did they say anything? And every guy was like, come on, man. Why you got to do this, man?

Yeah, he's like, come on, man. Edit this shit out. That's hilarious. I was like, oh, okay. Anyone that acted like that, I was like, so where did the side piece sit? Yeah.

Why you so upset, man? I was watching this thing on TV where this woman was talking about, you know, Chris. Oh, look, there it is. Good job. Oh, this is that? That's hilarious. Did it make it in the cut? where this woman was talking about, you know, Chris. Oh, look, there it is. Good job. Oh, this is that?

That's hilarious. Did it make it in the cut? No. Not a chance. Not a chance. That's hilarious. Wow. I didn't even know they had card talk.

That's actually a good idea. Let's go find some players. When was this? Oh, years ago. Oh, 2017. And we're rolling at the Rams camp. Did you know that your coach was Georgia High School Player of the Year ahead of Calvin Johnson? No.

I mean, he looked like he got some juice to him. Are you ready to surprise him? This is a good idea. Most definitely. Really good. Yeah. They didn't do it again. I wonder why.

I don't know. COVID and all that stuff happened. Oh, got it. Then it was just like. Someone should pitch it to him now. Yeah, they should do it again. I wonder why. I don't know. COVID and all that stuff happened. Oh, got it. Then it was just like. Someone should pitch to him now. Yeah, they should do it again with you. Do you want to keep watching? Have I heard about it? No.

Of course not, Nick. No, but wow. I mean, bro, I get enough of you, you know? Oh, God. You could learn about the players. You don't know shit about football. Yeah, true. I don't.

I don't. I don't. You were surprising about. I'm not getting me. No, no, no. Go. Sur shit about football. I don't. I don't. I don't. You were surprising about – I'm not – I didn't mean to. No, no, no. Go. You were surprising about football players. They are not as big as you would think.

Well, the linemen are, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But even those linemen are like – it's not like – there's only like of the 50-man roster, there's going to be like six or seven of them who are like six, three. They'll be like, God. Not just a quarterback. Yeah. Of the really good teams, the quarterback is going to be like six or seven of them who are like, you know, 6'3". Yeah, we're like, God. A lot of times it's the quarterback. Yeah. Of the really good teams, the quarterback's going to be like 6'5",

lanky. But the skill positions and the corners and linebackers, you're like, oh, that's a normal looking dude. I remember when I tore my ACL back in the day. I was like 26. I tore my ACL. And then I was getting training at this place in Inglewood, and like Shaq was in there.

You know what I mean? That's the kind of place it was. Yeah. Big foot, small dick. Yeah. And this guy and then like but other players

and these football players I was like, damn, you're a little dude. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like a running back? Yeah. A little.

Yeah, they're not jacked. Yeah, people think they're like because that movie Just their stature. Any given Sunday people are like, isn't everybody like that? It's like, no No that's Hollywood man

They're normal looking dudes Also they just made them Look big probably Yeah I mean fucking I don't know how big Jimmy Foxx is But

He's not big But they made Yeah but LL Cool J But you get near Some basketball players And it's a whole different thing That's the most surprising You see a basketball player

You're like Oh he's 7 foot Yeah they're so big It's unbelievable And they look terrible In clothes always I love it I love the fucking The thing that has the, when they walk to the game.

Bro, they all look so terrible. Like clowns. They look rich. Awful. But like the clothes, sometimes the clothes are awesome. They look shitty in them. It's too much fabric. They're too much.

Yeah. It's 100%. They look, their body is all fucked up. Like they wear a coat. It's too much fabric. They're too much. Yeah. It's 100%. They look, their body is all fucked up. Like they wear a coat? It looks like that. It looks like the drapes. It's just like this long fucking. Dude, you're like four inches away from being a basketball star.

Yeah, you're not short. And that honestly counts, dude. Those four inches are the worst. It's like six, seven. First of all, you know, that's getting horny kind of. This shit is lit but do you want to look what is that one called

look at him walking look at him walking Bernie he looks terrible he's known for being wild but he looks so bad he's so tall dude

it's I mean Russell Westbrook that guy's like your height Russell Westbrook 6'4 6'3 6'4 no I saw him

he's tall he's 6'3 no he's not that tall no no no dude you might be thinking Kevin Durant". No, I saw him. He's tall. 6'3". No, he's not that tall. You might be thinking Kevin Durant. He's taller. I saw him at the airport. He's not tall. Bro? He's 6'3", bud. I'm an inch taller than him. No. That's all bullshit.

Okay. I don't look like that when I wear that fucking red overalls. Oh, you do. It's all him. He must be super thin then. But Ben Simmons wears wild shit too. Anyway, dude. But at least he balls.

Oh, that's a Halloween outfit. He looks cool. No, Kevin Durant always looks crazy because he's just lanky. What? He was Halloween? Kevin Durant always looked depressed. I'm going to be a crossing guard. Why not?

Whoa. When you have that kind crossing guard. Yeah. Why not? Whoa. When you have that kind of money. Yeah, I understand. And I'm just fucking being silly, you know. Dress how you want, for real. But like. You can't drive any cool cars. They look awful.

Yeah, it sucks to be seven feet, you know. You got to get a Ferrari, then they got to like blow out the back seat so they can fit their big asses in it. They can't drive anything dope. No, they know that dude, Ferrari makes cars for these guys. They can't drive anything dope. No, they know that, dude, Ferrari makes cars for these guys. They have to custom order. I know, but they make them. They can. You all see them.

It's a beast, though. Yeah, they have to redo the entire chassis and everything. Ferrari does it? Yeah. Ferrari fixes it. I feel like it's not Ferrari. I don't know if you can order it from Ferrari. They take you to a place. Because Ferrari is a... They don't give a fuck. They're like, we made what we made.

Do you like? You know? You drive. They're not doing that shit. Cut to Chris's grandma with meatballs. That's how she was. Yo, would you rather be seven foot, like outrageously tall, or short, like 5'1"? Tall.

You can't be 5'1". You can't be 5'1". You simply cannot be 5'1". Nobody likes you. That's not good. Would you rather be 4'9", or 7'5"? 7'5". You die so early.

What are you going to fly on? You can't fly. You just run there. You get there way quicker than a regular guy who runs. Oh, my God. Imagine your stride. No one can keep up with you. You're just walking in than a regular guy who runs. Oh, my God. Imagine your stride. No one can keep up with you. You're just walking in the mall.

Everybody's like, hey! Oh, man. Crystal would be so mad. I'd do that anyway. You know what I mean? They're like, come on! Your kid is just like, yeah. You know?

Yeah. What about, would you rather be 5'7 or 7'2. 7'2 is a nightmare, bro. It's a nightmare. But 5'7, though? Your house, your clothes, family pictures. They're all back up. You got to back up.

I don't even like when Rachel wears heels. Yeah. Because she likes to do this. Like, I'll be barefoot. She puts her heels on, and she goes like, I'm taller than you. Well, you're tall, bro. What are you, 6'3? I'm 6'3. You know what I mean? You're 6'3. Yeah. Because she likes to do this. Like, I'll be barefoot. She puts her heels on, and she goes like, I'm taller than you. Well, you're tall, bro. What are you, 6'3"? I'm 6'3".

You know what I mean? You're 6'3". Yeah. So when Rachel does that, she wears these heels, and she likes it. 6'4"? She's always like, I don't like short guys. That's funny, though. You know what I mean?

That's funny, yeah. What would she? She's 6'3", right? And then I sweep her legs. She's 5'11"? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're way feet. You're way feet.

Yeah, yeah. Is she 5'11"? What is she? She's 6'0". Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're way fee. You're way fee. Yeah, yeah. Is she 5'11"? What is she? She's six foot. Wow. Yeah. That's why I'm trying to put a basketball baby in her. Yeah, that's crazy.

I'm going to be that little league dad. I'm going to have a whistle for no reason. I did a girl that was six foot. And the, yeah, I did a girl that was six foot once. And they put on heels. It's fucking, you're like, I mean, I'm tall. that was six foot. And the, yeah, I dated a girl that was six foot once. And they put on heels. It's fucking, you're like, I mean, I'm tall. I'm six foot two. But it's a nightmare.

They're hot enough, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, I love tall women. I love. For dancing and everything? I used to date a chick who was 5'1". It was a nightmare. Yeah.

Well, for like, yeah, I get it. Outside of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're talking about other stuff. You're talking about horizontal mambo. Because you can go like this when they. Erica Freak. When they little chin nose. Chin nose.

Oh, man. What? This guy's a unicorn in the Asian world, right? Oh, Godzilla. Only one tall girl was like 5'7". I thought she was super tall, but everyone else was like 5'3", 5'2". Really? Super small, yeah.

The 5'7 girl got bullied? You're saying that you've ever been with? It always felt weird being with the 5'3". What's that? You're saying all the women you've been with are... Oh, yeah. My exes were small, yeah. But the 5'7", I felt like she was so tall, I didn't feel as manly.

What are you, 6'1"? Chris, no dare you. Are you taller than me? 6'5"? No, I'm 6'2", at least. Hold on a second. One inch off. Really?

How dare you? Every inch matters with me. Only in dick it matters. No, chick has to be 6'3". You style your hair different. You're what I said. Dude, so wait, hold on. That's why Asians usually do that. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's 6'3". You style your hair different. You're what I said. Dude, so wait. Hold on. That's why Asians usually do that.

You know what I mean? Yeah, that's 6'2". So we're all around the same height. If you're into Asian girls, though, that's all you get. The majority are really small. Sure. Which I like. I prefer shorter girls.

I do that. What? I mean, if you're into Asian girls, that's what you get. That's what you get. Hey, guys, get off your phones. Get off your phones, Chris. We got to do some ads. Dude, you got to Asian girls, that's what you get. Hey, guys, get off your phones because we're phones, Chris. We got to do some ads. Dude, you got to get ready, man. This Saturday, the action-packed UFC 287 fight card finishes.

That's what I'm saying. The longtime rivals, right? Alex Pereira and who else? Alex Pereira. Pereira. Izzy Adesanya will face off for the middleweight title. Alex beat him last time, so we'll see what's happening this time. Is he still a favorite?

I pick Izzy via decision, but I write Izzy's nuts. Throwdown for your shot to win big with DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of the UFC. New customers can bet just $5 on a pre-fight money line and get $150 in bonus bets if your fighter wins. Plus, all customers can get closer to the Octagon excitement with DraftKings' same-game fight parlays. Combine multiple UFC 287 bets into one for a shot at an even bigger payout.

Download the app now and use code GOLDEN. Let me give you some picks. So Izzy, if you could do a parlay with Izzy, Gilbert Burns is the biggest favorite on the card. Adrian Yanez is a slight favorite. I like him via decision. Kevin Holland, big favorite. That Rosa Jr., I think, gets it done.

Toughest test of his career. Kelvin Gaslam, you like that pick, Nick? You bet. I do. Kevin Gaslam over Chris Curtis. There's some good parlays there. So there you go. Download the app now and use code GOLDEN.

New customers can bet just $5 on a pre-fight money line and get $150 in bonus bets if their fighter wins this Saturday at DraftKings Sportsbook with code GOLDEN. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. Yeah, there's not that many tall ones, I don't think. Yeah, and then I don't know. What else? You know? I don't think. Yeah, and then I – that's it. I don't know.

What else? You know? I don't know. What are we talking about? Height? Oh, I went to SeaWorld. I went to SeaWorld. Where?

Over the weekend. Where were you? Was that Orlando? San Diego. Oh, you were in San Diego. I drove down to San Diego, took the kiddos because you can do like the animal experience. It was kind of sad. It's kind of sad.

Of course it's sad. But all the other animals are cool, like the penguins are dope, the dolphins are cool, but then you see the big-ass killer whales. The big ones. And you're like, God, dog. And I was like, hey, man, because we had this guide with us. I'm like, the big one, his fin's like this, man. Does that mean he's sad?

He's like, that documentary Blackfish, man. That's what they tell you. You didn't even mention that. That's hilarious. No, I did. That's how you know it's sad. He's like, that documentary Blackfish, man. That's what they tell you. He's like, you didn't even mention that. That's hilarious. No, I did. That's how you know it's true. No,

I did. I was like, I was like, Hey, cause on that documentary, he's like that documentary, they're trying to make us look bad. It's basically a sunburn.

And that's why it's not sticking up. I was like, Oh, that doesn't make sense at all, but I'll just not say anything. Yeah. That's bullshit. They style it.

We didn't put the gel in it. So I watched the documentary when we got back from there. I was like, God, place is fucked up, man. I don't know, man. Yeah. We didn't put the gel in it. I watched the documentary when we got back from there. I was like, that place is fucked up, man. I don't know, man. Yeah, I don't. It sucks. We went to something like that.

I don't remember where we were. We were on the road, but we took Calvin. And it's just kind of sad. I mean, of course, we paid for it, so we gave them money. And then I kind of fucking felt bad afterwards. The penguins are lit. They don't give a fuck. They're in a frozen area, and they're chilling.

My little one, he's three, just grabbed that fucking penguin. I was like, this poor penguin. I don't think they're allowed in there. Yeah, I don't know. I threw him over.

You're just going to throw your kid in the gorilla sanctuary? No, get out of there! This is how you learn to fight! Yeah, the whole thing's sad, though. When you see the big animals... I saw a picture you had your kids next to the dolphin thing and I commented, I was like, your fish though. When you see the big animals. I saw a picture you had your kids next to the dolphin thing.

Yeah. I commented. I was like, your fish tank is getting ridiculous. That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. Seriously, get rid of all those fish. They could do a documentary about you.

Yeah, they are. All their fins are like this. All right, who's this guy that we've seen before? My dudes, Brendan, Chris, Big Riffy Griff. this all right who's this what have you guys seen before my dudes brendan chris big riffy nick my boy chin had a question to bake up for you guys i was wondering how do you guys start your day how do you guys end your day with a shower in the morning or shower at night i have to show in the morning because otherwise i feel like i don't wake up all day and i don't fucking like it. So let me know what you guys think.

Brendan, I'll see you here in SD. Like always. Chris, you killed it in SD when you were here. Thanks, buddy. Griffin, I wore this sweater for you. Dang, baby. That's a cool hoodie, man. Is that yellow?

No, it's fucking tan, dude. It should be yellow. Isn't that crazy? No, it's tan and it's like a guy like this wants tan. Switch it to yellow. Okay, it's fucking tan, dude. It should be yellow. Isn't that crazy? No, it's tan, and a guy like this wants tan. Switch it to yellow. Okay, I have yellow on there. If you want to go to chrysalide.com, you go peruse. You know what I mean? But I have beach towels for fuck's sake.

Summer's coming. What a weirdo. Hey, you start your day how, Eric? You wake up at what time? Let's just power through this. Let's just power through this, Derek. Let's just power through this crazy ass. Power through it.

Just power through it. I get up at 9 a.m. every day, no matter what. Oh, you sleep in. Damn, and you're a comic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is what it is. I have the, iPhone has a great sleep thing, so it's like, it tells me when I should go to bed. So I just, automatically now, I just wake up at 9 a.m. So, okay, you go to bed. So automatically now I just wake up at 9 a.m.

So, okay, you go to bed at 3 a.m., wake up at 9 a.m. It depends on if I have shows. Three would be late for you. Because, dude, bro, do you ever do like – No, it doesn't matter. I'll be in business the thing, though, dude. Because if you do a set at midnight, so you get home by, what, 1.30? Yeah, but no.

You're not doing a set at midnight. We're not doing those anymore. But hold on. If you do two shows on a Saturday and you did two shows on a Friday, Sunday you wake up. Dude, I'm – I want to die. Done. Yeah, done.

I mean, maybe when I was 33, okay? But, bro, that shit fucks me up now. I'm exhausted. You too? Yeah. Exhausted. Yeah. Well, I still wake up at 9 a.m.

Yeah, dude. It doesn't matter. I mean, Sunday I'm fucked. You wake up at what? 3, 4 in the afternoon? I wake up at like 10.m.? Yeah, dude. It doesn't matter. I mean, Sunday, I'm fucked. You wake up at what? 3, 4 in the afternoon? I wake up at like 10.30. Really? Yeah.

Now, do you take a shower at night or in the morning? No, I wake up. I take a shower in the morning. See, you guys shower every day? Yeah, bro. Yeah, who wouldn't? You believe that shit? Right, dude?

What are you talking about? No, every day. You are too big to not shower daily. Yeah, big guys got to shower daily. Dude, you're lying. I can tell. Dude, here, every day. You are too big to not shower daily. Yeah, big guys got to shower daily. You're lying, I can tell. Nick doesn't shower either every day. When the YMCA is open. Nick's like, I'll find one.

Nick showers every day. He drives to it. Dude, I shower every day. There is a rare instance. I shower every day There is A rare instance Sorry There is a rare instance

That I shower At night before Actually you know what I never purposely Shower the night before Sometimes I shower The night before Because I want to

Wash my hair Or something like that And then I wake up The next day And I'm like I kind of feel like I showered recently So I can start the day now

Isn't that Isn't that fucking interesting? No. You're a chick. Listen, Rachel is all about don't get in this bed without showering. What do you mean? That's crazy, bro. You go all day.

You're a big dude. Yeah, dude. Sweating tits. Tits sweat. You know what I mean? Backhand you. No, we're big guys. We're both big guys. Don't bring me in with your tits. We're sweaties. what I mean backhand you no we're big guys no we're big guys

we're both big guys don't bring me in with your tits you don't even shower every day no man that titty sweat filthy animal

that titty sweat yeah so it's like you know I get like back of the neck you know here and stuff you know what I mean

you know what I mean you should just sleep in the shower honestly oh man you laughing at my thing or his thing yeah you're stupid wait what did you say you should just sleep in the shower. Honestly. Oh, man. You laughing at my thing? Yeah, you're stupid.

Wait, what did you say? I said, you should just sleep in the shower. Yeah. So she's like, I don't. So she'll say to me, have you showered? Have you showered? You know. Oh, God.

Now, here's the next question, though. Let's say you shower at night. Okay. Okay. You know, do you sleep in underwear? What do you sleep in? Underwear, yeah. I like to sleep naked, but Calvin's been coming

in the room in the morning, so I'm like, all right, I can't sleep naked in the room. Yeah. So, your sheets are just horrible. Yeah, bro.

Sleeping naked's weird. Bro, they're dope. My sheets are so dope. No, that's because Kristen has to change them every two and a half hours. No, no.

Even when, the more I sleep in them, the doper they get. No, she changes them. You don't even know. No, no, I'm saying. You get in bed, and you're like,

are these new sheets? Because she has to, because she's like, yeah, because there's like a fucking, you know. Shit straight. Yeah, it's like the, what is that, Shroud of Christ? You know what I mean? You tried a torrent?

Yeah, Chris is just. You sleep naked? You sleep naked too? No, okay, this is my question. So I put you in underwear. Now, do you get up? Okay. If you sleep in underwear and you've showered the night before, do you just get up and get dressed?

Okay. Do you change underwear? I'm saying, do you put on new underwear in the morning? Oh, no, I put on new underwear. Why? Yeah. It's a wasting water, dude. We're in a drought.

I don't think it's that big of a deal if you do wear the same underwear, but I do change it. It's a big deal to Rachel. But if you're clean, you've done nothing. It's a big deal to Rachel. But if you're clean, you've done nothing. It doesn't matter to her, dude. Listen, she'll help me pack now when I go on the road because she can't stand how I pack. So I used to pack like, I'd be like, okay. She's like, I pack my bag.

She's like, where's your underwear? I think it's right there. Four days, four undies. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And then the ones I have on are the extra. So now she packs just like morning, night, morning, night. Oh, no, that's what I do. No, Saturday. And then the ones I have on are the extra. Yeah. Oh, God. So now she packs just like morning, night, morning, night. Oh, no. That's what I do.

No, no. Her underwear are all over the place. Because she just changes them just willy-nilly. You know what I mean? Well, yeah. They're also this big. Yeah, right. Yeah.

What's your... You know what I mean? It's like it's unfair. You pack fucking 75 pairs and I got three. Yeah. I have a lot of cloth in my bag. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So wait, so what about shoes?

You bring one, two pair? It depends. And then what about you? What do you bring? You fucking... Three. Okay, that's okay. Three pairs.

That's okay. Yeah, I bring three pairs. But because I'll bring maybe three. Yeah. I'll bring like ones that I know I'm going to wear in the airport and then if I want to just wear comfy. Yeah, exactly. And then I have like maybe a cool Jordan, some kind of cool pair.

And then another one that I'll be able to wear kind of with every outfit if I need to. Yeah, me too. I'll mix it up. Gay. And it's all good though. Then I'm gay too. Yep. We suck.

What time would you wake up? You know what? You wake up at what time, Dick? Six. Six, yeah. Whoa. Chin? 7. Six, yeah. Whoa. Chin? 7.30, 7.45.

And then when do you go to bed? 11, 10-ish. I want you in bed earlier. I want you in bed earlier. So what about you? About midnight. I want you in bed earlier, guys. I'm up at five no matter what time I go to bed.

So when we did the set at the Ice House the other night, I probably went to bed at one, up at five. My body will be up at five every single time. That's what I'm saying. It just happens like that. For 1, up at 5. My body will be up at 5 every single time. That's what I'm saying. It just happens like that. For me, it's 9. And if I start setting my thing for 8 a.m., which I kind of want to do, it's just because once I'm up, I'm up.

Then I get up, I have my coffee, and then it's just like I'm up, you know? Five, son. And now Rachel, though, because she works, she'll get up at like – she has to get up. She likes working really early. So, like, I'll wake up and she's gone. You mean she likes if she has a job that she has to go to really early? She decided with her job.

She was like, I want to get there earlier. Also, the benefit to waking up early when you have kids, it's the only time that you're just, I can do whatever the fuck I want. Don't get me wrong. Waking up early is awesome. I think it's great. I'm just not doing it it's just too i'm too tired bro i think it's great you wake up you see that dude i woke up at seven today and i was like

man i think i'm up i might get up and then i was like oh dude who am i kidding i'll wait here as long as it takes to go to sleep more no but here's the thing if you're okay if you do get up at 7 right And you have that feeling of like wow I'm kind of up You should get up Because if you don't And then you wake up and say at like 830

You'll be like So tired My body's not in charge of me I'm in charge of me dude And my body's not telling me to fucking wake up then dude Oh yeah body You're in bed like Go to sleep dude. And my body's not telling me to fucking wake up then, dude. Oh yeah, body? You're in bed like... What do you got, Nick?

Wow, that looks cool, that porch. With the trees and shit. What's up, Golden Hour? What's up, Golden Hour? Last episode, you were talking about how you have to take the trash out, but where the level of your home is, it's on the main floor,

but the trash is down below. And I get exactly what you're saying. And it's funny, when we first moved in this house, my wife, she thought I would go outside and go around to take the trash out. There you go.

That's hilarious. It is. What a nice deck. The lights are great. The guy's lit. He's a CEO., it is. What a nice deck. Yeah, it's fucking delightful. The lights are great. The guy's lit. He's a CEO. It has to be 5 a.m.

Yeah, for sure. Oh, this guy's... Oh, wow. Yo. He's just engineering. Boy, if you miss, though... That's my favorite guy that we've ever... That is so gangster.

I've got to do that. Take the string. That's like 5 a.m see you later listen when you're good you're good yeah and you are he's doing her best hey well you know yeah i did oh he ran out like no i like the way he ran out he ran out that's my favorite though so wait that is so good i gotta do that um his deck how about you can make my deck also how also how much is that the neighbor's fucking trash can that's like i'm not filling mine up fuck it um uh i think that's a great oh that's awesome dude awesome all right so

i'm upset already with how you're reacting about this. But let's see how it goes, I guess. I don't know. You think it's fine or whatever. It's fine. Okay, cool. So you know what? I'm upset. Lazy husbands, you know, do lazy shit.

It's crafty. It's ingenious, this guy. You know what? I'm just pissed. And it's okay, but I think it's great. Oh, wow. Oh, this guy's got a whole setup for call-ins? You know what? I'm just pissed and it's okay but I think it's great. Oh, wow. Oh, this guy's got a whole

setup for call-ins? What the fuck? What's up, everyone at Golden Hour? Brendan, Chris, Eric, Nick, Chin, love y'all.

I had a quick debate club for you. What do you think about this UFC WWE merger? Brendan, I'm especially curious what you think.

Is this like a retirement plan for old UFC fighters? Is this a good thing? How do you see this shaking out? Thanks. Love y'all. Chris, you want to take this one first? Yeah, I'll take it. So here's the deal.

I think it's crazy because WWE is wrestling and UFC is, you know, it's punching and shit. And Choco's, dude, I think that it'll be, I think it'll be a good thing for both projects. I don't like it. Yeah, me neither. Because it's going to blur the lines of, like, what's real and what's not. Well, bro, have you seen it? The UFC's already got a lot of issues with, like, you know, is this a fixed fight or is this like a, is this the right

fight for this person? And so now to know that they're attached to something that is completely fake, but entertainment. I know, but everything. They're both entertainment. The lines are getting blurred. Everything, everything, if it's around long enough and popular long enough, it becomes the same thing. Bro, everything becomes the same thing.

That's sports. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, it does. Because you take, remember when Instagram was just pictures? Then it became fucking videos. Then sort of Twitter, sort of fucking. It's everything that's successful becomes the same thing. Bro, WWE is basic.

UFC, you see the guys at UFC now, they're like, I'm going to go in, I'm going to kill these motherfuckers. It's the same thing. The promo, they're running the promo. The promo's the same, but at the end of the day, the result, it's a real competition. Of course, yes. So you know why Vince McMahon was going to buy the UFC?

And then he goes, you know what? He turned it down because he goes, I can't control who's going to be a star. I would never invest my money in that. Because they would have Conor McGregor go undefeated. If they were allowed to dictate, they'd have him go undefeated for the rest of history. So Vince McMahon, he can dictate that. You'd want Patty to be

the face of the UFC. You'd want Ronda never to lose. So they can't dictate that. Well, she's in the WWE now killing it. Yeah. Yeah. It's just the lines get blurred. But the biggest thing of all this is it came out the UFC got evaluated at $12 billion.

They sold for $4 billion. So they're worth, what, three times more now? But the fighter pay stays exactly the same. Why? That's the issue because they don't have to do anything. They don't have to do anything. So I'm a fighter. I'm negotiating.

I'm like, you guys are worth, what, fucking $8 million more than when last time I negotiated this deal? Give me more money. Like, what leg do they have to stand on? Well, because another fighter will come in and take their place, right? I mean, is that basically it? Yeah, you're right. Fuck, look at you.

Well, it's about the fighting. It's not about, like, it is. Let me just say this. The issue is that the fighting community hasn't gone with the times. So these high school, college basketball players, they're getting on Instagram. They're making their videos. Like Zion Williams came into the league with a million followers. Yes.

Okay? So Jake Paul has been trying to tell y'all dumb motherfuckers, here's how you can make a lot of money promote yourself yeah fuck dana white and all these people that don't pay it's all about what you do it's the same thing with like podcasting and stuff like that self-promote yourself where you are the attraction and then you can uh determine how much money you make. Because these people aren't, they're not personalities. No one cares about these like idiot fighters. Correct.

But then also in regards to like. A lot of them. A lot of them, yeah. But also in regards to like fighter rights and them getting equal pay and all that shit, whatever they're looking for. This pushes the ball the opposite direction. Because anyone knows that the WWE Vince McMahon runs even more strict, more like a fucking straight dictator. He does not put up with shit. He owns all your rights.

Yeah. All your rights. Like The Rock, you know The Rock on movies uses Dwayne Johnson. If he uses The Rock, they have to pay the WWE. He owns all your name, all your likeness. Well, I mean, because, you know, he's an asshole. Yeah. Well, that's how you get to have that much money.

Yeah. Correct. You know what I mean? You're not like you've know, he's an asshole. Yeah. Well, that's how you get to have that much money. Yeah. Correct. You know what I mean? You're not like you've done some fucking ruthless business shit. Yeah. But to Eric's point, I do think. That's how Thick Boy runs. Yeah.

Dictator here. It does run. It does blur the lines a little bit because already, like, in America, not so much. We know the difference somewhat. But, like, my dad doesn't. Like, is The Undertaker fighting Brock Lesnar? Where's Dana? You're like, Jesus Christ, dude.

But then internationally, it's even way more blurred. They definitely don't know. But here's the thing. You take Ronda Rousey, for instance. When someone comes from a legit, she was a fighter. Her face was fucking ruined. Brock Lesnar, too, right? Okay.

So now when she goes into this WWE, even though we know that it's entertainment, she still brings something to it because of what she did before. If they're just together, then there's no, it's kind of like delegitimizes, if that's a word. I mean, do you know what I mean? At the end of the day, you know that UFC is real and wrestling isn't. I don't know if they're owned by the same person. Like us in the sport.

But if they start crossing over, like you have Conor at the next WrestleMania and he's playing grab ass in that, then jumping back, fighting for a title. Like it's going to get weird, man. I think I agree with him on this one. I think it's going to be an idiot. But also as a business move, now the UFC and WWE are worth like $20 million. Now they can go to a Nike or to ESPN or Fox when their deals are up. Hey, we bring this much of an audience, loyal audience.

Give us how much money now? Or they just create their own network. It's tough, but they should share. This is the stupidest thing. WD and talks with state gambling regulators to legalize betting unscripted. How the fuck are you going to bet on it? If I'm friends with Hulk Hogan, clearly I don't know wrestling, so that's the only reference I have.

But if I'm friends with Hulk Hogan, he's wrestling back in the day, I'd be like, hey, bro, who's going to win? Well, they're going to have to – it'll have to be regulated. It'll have to be just like in the same way that somebody knows who's going to win the Oscars. There's an accounting firm that knows who's going to win before the Oscars. Ernest and Young. People still bet on it. So it has to be – you have to know – it's all about integrity, man.

It's like betting on the Oscars. It's like betting on John Wick's going to win in the end. I just think it is more credence to like it's blurring the lines because if you're allowed to bet on scripted results, it's under the same umbrella. That's why you can't fix sports because you get in such federal trouble from regulators. But if it's now legal to script it and still bet, that scares me.

Do we start betting on movies? I'm fucking terrified. Same. I'm terrified. I mean, Nick said he's scared. I'm beyond that. I can't sleep. And I wake up.

I go, oh, fuck. The betting! The betting! Yeah, yeah. Let's take a break, guys, because I'm going to be powering up when I'm in Atlanta next Thursday, Friday, Saturday with some factor. America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit. Get nutritious, chef-prepared meals delivered straight to your door, leaving you time and

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It's not good. All right. It's good for the UFC. It's bad for, I think, general fans. Well, I don't know. Here's a question, Nick. This is deep into it. These guys were going to space out.

Do we know how much the top five WWE superstars make compared to the top five UFC? I don't, but I know. Are you a wrestling fan? No, but I don't know. I kind of am aware of what's going on. I know Brock gets over seven figures for one match at a time. Oh, and WWE does. Yeah, but their contracts, I have no idea.

They're all independent contractors. Would Eric and Chris, since you guys don't really follow MMA that much, would you guess that the UFC is worth more or the WWE? It's been around for so long. What about you? Um, yeah, I would think the WWE is worth more. How crazy is this?

UFC is worth more. Yeah. 3 billion more, 12 to nine. Huh? Huh? Broke bitches, right?

What? Broke bitches. Nine bill. Yeah. Imagine. I wonder why, I wonder why that is. Is it because it's probably more international or something or. I don't know. Yeah. Imagine. I wonder why that is. Is it because it's probably more international or something?

I don't know. Is it the events? Maybe room for growth, too? What it is. What it is. Well, maybe the TV deals are different now. Or what is it? That's surprising.

WWE TV deals are big boys because they provide so much content every week. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's surprising to me. Yeah, it was surprising to, I think, all of us here. Oh, I know what it is because it's fake. What you got well yeah but hey what's up fellas my name's Hayden Dallas I sure called in before but I have a different question for y'all today I hope top three Denzel movies last night I showed my girlfriend training day have to she had never seen it which which is crazy. But she loved it.

It's a great movie. For me, top three are going to go Man of Fire, Training Day, and then Book of Eli. But you also have Flight, where he acts his ass off, and Equalizer. But yeah, what is y'all's top three? I got to watch Flight. No, no, no. Oh, Flight's good. This guy already missed the best one.

Malcolm X. That's a great one. That's a great movie. But American Gangster. Nah, I hated that movie. No, no, no. Oh, Flight's good. This guy already missed the best one. Malcolm X. That's a great one. That's a great movie. But American Gangster. Nah, I hated that movie. Ooh, I love that movie. I love that movie, too. So boring to me.

Hey, you know whose uncle that is? Who? David Lucas. Who? What is? Frank Lucas. Frank Lucas is David Lucas' uncle. What?

Frank Lucas is the gangster? Yes. Wow. The gangster? Yeah. Whoa. The gangster we're talking about in the movie, right? That makes so much sense. All right, dude. I just. Wow. The gangster? Yeah. Whoa. The gangster we're talking about

in the movie, right? That makes so much sense. All right, dude. I just want to make sure it's not Denzel Washington. No, no, no. It's Frank Lucas. I woke up to David.

Your uncle's Denzel Washington? Yeah, David Lucas, that's his uncle. Washington's son is a great actor, too. Really good. Dude, Denzel Washington

has been in so many good movies. I don't know how the fuck you rank it. I mean, Philadelphia is fire, too. Philadelphia is fire. Have you ever seen Malcolm X? No.

Racist. No, it's not racist. I would see it. Malcolm X is fantastic. I mean, Philadelphia is fucking amazing, though. Philadelphia is good. He's also good in the Pelican Brief. Yeah, but yeah.

I mean, that movie. Come on, bro. What other? I feel like we're missing one. Glory. Have you seen Glory? Yeah, Glory.. I mean, that movie. Come on, bro. It's a great movie. I feel like we're missing one. Glory? Have you seen Glory? Yeah, Glory. Glory was amazing.

Oh, my Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord. I don't want to hear it. Oh, my Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord. And you haven't seen Malcolm X. Lord, we come here today and gather around just to make sure that everyone... Oh, my God. Oh, remember the Titans. Oh, Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord.

I wouldn't go to this church. Dude, remember Chris in a fucking... In a robe. Oh, I got to start a church. We're freaking a... Eight fat black women are behind him. Oh, yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. We're freaking a bunch of them because uh remember the titans inside man is i can't believe this guy said book of eli remember

the titans is fine what about safe house is great fences equalizer can suck my cock the first one was good i like the first one five guys been in some gangster movies dude john q the hurricane oh the hurricane he got game as fire as fuck too good too I liked the first one. Five seconds. This guy's been in some gangster movies, dude. John Q. The Hurricane. Oh, The Hurricane. He got game as fire as fuck, too. Fallen was good, too. That was a good one. All right, all right, all right. It was.

That was a good one. Virtuosity. Keep going. No, that one's terrible. Virtuosity was trash. So Malcolm X made him a fucking big deal, right? Oh, Glory made him a big deal. Go up.

Keep going. Malcolm X was kind of the one. Yeah, but Glory was the one. Ah, Malcolm X made him a fucking big deal, right? Oh, Glory made him a big deal. Go up. Keep going. Malcolm X was kind of the... Yeah, but Glory was the one. Ah, Malcolm X, right? No, Glory was nominated for a bunch of... Yeah. That whipping scene was incredible. With the one tear, dude?

Yeah, dude. Or the CGI? I've never seen it. I was just like, oh, my Lord. Oh, Lord, Lord. Oh, my God. I can't with you. Yeah.

But, dude, I mean, Denzel is the – how do you – I don't know. I mean, there's so many also I haven't seen. Training Day number one, though. I don't know if I'd say that, bro. Training Day is fine. Or Malcolm X. Training Day is good. I don't know if I'd say that either.

Training Day is good. Yeah. But, like, top three Denzel movie? You know what it is, really? Let's just say it. It won an Oscar for Training Day. Yeah, but no, but it won the Oscar because he should have won for Hurricane. That's why. But like top three Denzel movie? You know what it is really? Let's just say I'm going to be 100% with you about it. Yeah, but no, but it won the Oscar because he should have won for Hurricane. That's why.

Denzel Washington should have already won. For a lot of things. And then they came. They do that shit. Yeah, they do. You should have won for Malcolm X. Right, but the thing is. That was in 1980.

But there's a lot of reasons why that didn't happen. But there's a lot of times they give somebody a Lifetime Ach award like pacino should never should have won for scent of a woman that was ridiculous yeah he should have won for he won over dog day afternoon or whatever yeah he should he won over denzel that and that was like no no just that way oh oh oh you know and the oscar goes dude i could act like good what line person do you know that does that a new don't know any fucking life expand your circle man no but I think the thing about Denzel is that he's great he's greater than the movies he's ever of course yeah so that's why when you're thinking about like, what's the best one?

It's like you go, I don't know if I, overall, if I remember a movie I really like, you would put like that. But he, because he's so believable. Like, it's like whatever character he's playing, he comes on the screen and you go, okay, I'm in. I'm in.

Out of time? Oh, you're a doctor in this one? Okay, I'm in with this one. Oh, you're a criminal? I'm with you. Whatever it is, I'm with him. Yep. Oh, you're going doctor in this one? Okay. I'm in with this one. Oh, you're a criminal? I'm with you. Whatever it is, I'm with him. Yep. Oh, you're going to play Anne Frank?

Okay. Done. Yep. I believe you. He's just in the attic. He's so tall. With a little dress on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ha, ha, ha. Can't wait. Ha, ha, ha. He's nasty. Yeah. Is that the worst Denzel ever? So bad. I know I can't do Denzel.

Guys, it's Jillian coming to you from Virginia. Yeah. Is that worst? Denzel ever. Um, guys, it's Julian coming to you from Virginia. Um, I've got a debate club for you. So I'm a boy, mom, and my oldest son is eight and he's in all the sports,

um, soccer, baseball, basketball, and swimming. And it's getting to that age where it's getting competitive. And like, there's all stars and all that stuff. And I really thought it'd be chill. I thought I'd be like,

whatever, I just want you to be there and have fun. Turns out, I'm real competitive. I mean, so is he, but I find myself saying things my dad would have said to me. Same with his dad. We're both like, we're just too serious. It's hard not to be.

It doesn't matter. What are your thoughts? Do you just let your kid play and you're just giving them that this is just for fun vibes or are you that walk it off parent? Great question. She looks so much like Max's wife.

She looks so much like Max's wife. She looks like Max's wife. You don't think she exists? Max's wife? No. Max's wife did not look like that. Max's wife. You don't think she exists? Max's wife? No. She looks like Max's wife. Max's wife did not look like that. Max's wife was like a cabbage patch doll. Why? That you kept in the...

And he was like, babe? In regards to the question, it depends if you know what the fuck you're talking about. You know those parents like, come on! It's like, did you play football? Did you ever play soccer? Do you know what the fuck you're talking about. You know those parents like, come on. It's like, did you play football? Did you ever play soccer? Do you know what the fuck you're talking about? Because if you know what you're talking about, yeah, go ahead and jump on in. I used to coach, you know.

What did you coach? I coached a lot of things. Basketball, volleyball. And the thing is, is like, if she's like a sports mom, you know, it's like moms were the most difficult to deal with when they didn't understand the sport because you know moms this was all right sweetheart sweetheart no because it would be like we'd have this team meeting and it would be like you know a mom's moms would say shit like they'd be like, Coach, it was $75 for the team shoe.

Why isn't Johnny playing? It's that kind of thing. That's not actually how we decide who plays. Oh, because Johnny sucks. You know what I mean? They don't care about that. No, shoes ain't helping. She'll be like, you had that other kid playing.

He don't even know who his dad is. You'd be like, well, I mean, imagine if that's how you decide it. Timmy came to read yeah get in there no but I'm saying it's like you know I don't know

there is something about because listen my mom never came to my games I never invited her because it was like she was a single mom

so I never it wasn't a thing but there is something about like when people would get in I remember those dads being in the stands yelling at you

come on they used to get on me. Come on, Eric! Fuck y'all. Hustle, Eric! Yeah, they'd be getting on me, come on, fucking talk to your old kid, bitch! You know? But I do remember I do remember I was like, I was a basketball player, you know?

So I was like, I was down in the post and I had this little guy on me and all the dads were over there. And then this guy, he's looking at me, and I said like this, give me the ball on this fool. That's hilarious. And all the dads, dude, I'll never forget. All the dads were like, that's right, Eric. That's the attitude we need, dude.

And I was like, and you did something for me. I loved that recognition from those parents like that. You know what I mean? So it was like, so I get like, I think that as a player, as an athlete, I remember being an athlete. I was, guys, back in the day. There is something that you get. So I understand.

I like that. And when I was a coach, I would be like that. It brings out my competitive nature. But I try not to overstep. I'm not going to be like, why aren't we throwing the out route more? I don't want to get too technical. I'll bring them over. My son was in a passing league, and they're running, nonstop running. They're down like 21-0 running at halftime.

I'm like, Coach, I talked to you earlier. I'm looking at it. It's a passing league, and you keep running. Oh, you're one of those parents. I'm just curious because they're seven, right? And we need to learn to pass, you stupid one of those parents. I'm just curious. Because they're seven, right? And we need to learn to pass, you stupid fuck. Right? I would have hated you.

And then jujitsu, I don't overstate. I let the whatever professor do his thing. And then after class, I'm like, come here. You don't know what the fuck he's talking about. And then I'll show him. Oh, really? That's all I do. Yeah, that's cool.

Or if I see a kid doing something wrong, and the professor's all the way on the other side of the mat, I'm like, dude, you got to move. I'm like, try this. Oh, my God. But they told me to do that. Okay, but it would be like you're a coach and then the ex-UFC fighter is standing on the side giving you that. I would hate that.

I would come to you and be like, hey, I need you to not come to practice. We got it for you. We got it for you. Thank you. Yeah, but he is a... Or was a professional, so it's like... It doesn't matter. You're undermining...

Yeah, I understand. You're undermining... If you're coaching kid basketball, if you're coaching Michael Jordan's son at basketball, you don't want Jordan sitting in the sidelines just looking like this. But if Jordan had a good tip. I wouldn't have done it that way.

But if MJ had a good tip, you're going to listen. That's my whole point why it's undermining. Get the fuck out of here. I get it. Come to the game. Just be a dad. But also be a better coach. Just be a dad.

But be a better coach. Just be a dad. Nope. Just be a dad. Never. I don't know how I feel about that. This is the thing that's really crazy. Just coming from the other perspective. It's like when they're fighting in the stands.

That's another thing. Oh, never. Never. When dads are just like, what's going on with my son? Yeah. My son need to be playing. That's crazy. Put my son in, coach.

That's crazy. I like that, man. I knew I was going to be a comic because the things I would say. What? To the dads? Yeah, just everybody. Everybody would be laughing. Oh, really?

I was putting on a show when I was coaching. Nice. You had a microphone. It's good to be here, y'all. It's good to be here. No, but I mean, it is one of those things. Look, it's a crazy thing because I can remember also having a team meeting and the parents come and they'd be like,

Coach, what are we going to do about his grades this year? And I remember saying to his mom, I said, You have six teachers, a guidance counselor, you. So how about from three to five, I work on layups and free throws. Right. And the rest of the time, you take care of all that stuff. How about we do that? They would say that to you about the grades?

Oh, yeah. That's what – because – What are you going to do? That's the thing. Tutor the little bitches. No, they want us to be like – I'd be like, no. It's like I never liked when – I remember there was this time to get this uh this we were

it was a summer league game and the kid didn't show up and then the next game two games later the kid showed up with his parents and parents like yeah i had to punish him because he uh you know and i was like oh cool cool cool i didn't play him the whole game yeah of course right i didn't play and then parents like hey what happened i was like oh yeah you punished him so now i have to punish him because he missed the game right right right you know what i mean you can't just jump back in just like i hate when parents used this sport to punish the kid because you're punishing everybody kids rely i remember this this guy still got issues yeah i know i can't stand it because it's like it's bad parenting yeah no this guy he's he gave him second place he wanted to win the championship he He's pissed off. It is.

I'll never forget this. League is a league. We're starting a league. Starting a league. It's a league for opener. That's a sitcom player. One of our best players, he didn't get the best grades that his mom wanted. We're about to start playing. What grade are we talking here?

High school. Two. Second grade. Mom comes storming on the court during the layup lines. He off the team. He got bad grades. And she goes, it's not going to happen on my watch. And in my mind, I'm like, apparently you haven't been watching shit.

Yeah, dude. Okay, so you mean to tell me on report card day is when you found out your kid is dumb? Yo, bitch, you know what you need to be doing? You need to be working on your kid's grades from the first day of the semester. Dude, right now I'm as scared as Nick with the WWE merger. It just pissed me off because it's like- And I assume you're coaching Malibu the way you're talking? No.

If you have to- Listen, training kids to learn responsibility is not taking them off the team because here's my thing fucks the other team it fucks everybody else you're learning responsibility because my thing is this i i remember saying okay you're gonna take him off the team is he still got a cell phone is he still watching tv yeah yeah he's still got a car damn you've thought about this if he's still and is he still thank you yeah does he still get to go out because you know what? This is what happens.

This guy's fucking thought about it every day. They don't want to take, like let's say your kid has a car and they're driving to school, right? And then he gets in trouble. You take the car away. You know who has to take him to school now? You. Y'all lazy ass parents. Yeah.

And you don't want to do that. So I'm saying like if you have a kid, step up. You know what you got? No, you got the fucking thing. Hey, asshole. With the yarn connected he's like you do this or that no you're gonna have a kid the kid's gonna walk in he's gonna be 16. he's gonna walk in like eric's gonna have the light on just just on him like

hey he'll have a suit on keep going eric would say i would take the car i'll have to drive you yeah yeah yeah no no no oh don, no. You don't even. You don't know, man. I'm already ready to be. I'm petty. Oh, I know. When I'm having kids, they're not going to tell me. They say, well, I don't want to do this.

Oh, so we're not doing stuff we don't want to do? OK, cool. I ain't telling you shit, too. Then I'm going to go turn the lights off and turn all the phones and shit off. They're going to be like, Dad, what's going on? I'm going to be like, oh, I don't want to pay the bill. Yeah, so we not doing stuff that we don't want to do. Let's keep going. Yeah, what else?

So we going to be living in darkness. That's the kind of dad I'm going to be. Wow, dude. Okay? Trust me, I'm petty as a motherfucker. Yeah. Because you have to learn. I remember it's important.

These kinds of things are important. Learning lessons are important. Dude, I'm not going to have a spoiled ass kid. You ever see

this dude's Instagram? Calvin is a little spoiled ass little. Yeah, he is. Well, he got, you know, but yeah, but bro,

living in his little mansion room and his side room. Nah, bro, I'm good, man. Calvin got two rooms. Yeah. He's on email. He's got two

rooms. I gotta tell him. We talk, though. I tell him what's up, dude. He's gonna be okay, man. He's not gonna be fucking... Did you see what Ashton Kutcher did? He said, we've decided, we've told the kids when they turn 16, we're giving away all our money. I hate that. When they die, they're not leaving. I hate that.

You know what? I don't hate it, but I don't like the application of it how about this how about it's like your money's in a trust yeah you have to get a degree in college yeah all right sure you have to like you have this amount of money yourself yeah if you make it let's say if you thresholds if you make a million dollars yourself it's a lot of money all this money is yours yeah yeah i mean have some incentive yeah win an oscar it's yours. Okay, that's pretty, pretty hard to do. But I mean, like, if you're going to do, giving your money away and saying, yo, kid, life's hard, figure it out.

That can't be the way to do it. Terrible. I'm not saying that's what Ashton Kutcher's doing. No, I'm with you. That's what I'm doing. That's exactly what he's doing. What's terrible about it is like this, though. It's like, don't have me grow up rich.

Take it away. You grow up rich and you go,, yeah, yeah. Take it away. You grow up rich and you go, okay, now you go like, hey, what did I learn? Yeah. We've been flying private for a while. Right, right, right. It's like releasing killer whales at SeaWorld back in the ocean. Like, yeah, figure it out. They're fun.

Right, right, right. They're super fun. Keep bringing back the fish, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. SeaWorld. You love fish. Yeah. I don't know, man. Yeah, I heard Bill Gates was only going to leave. I mean, I don't know. He's going to leave his kids like $10 million or something. Fine, okay. That's a lot. No, man. Yeah, I heard Bill Gates was only going to leave.

I mean, I don't know. He's going to leave his kids like $10 million or something. Fine, okay. That's a lot. No, no, no. I'm saying that's good. What are they going to do? I'm saying that's good.

But leaving them nothing is crazy. That's crazy. Now, after Calvin, I got another baby on the way. This is why I'm making money at this point. You do it for them. Yeah. And Ashton Kutcher, close to a billion. Yeah, I get stuff now.

Close to a billion. I'm still dripped out. I'm going to buy, make sure I look flossy. Yeah. And Ashton Kutcher, close to a billion. Yeah, I get stuff now. Close to a billion. I'm still dripped out. I'm going to buy, make sure I look flossy, right? But whatever. But I'm going to leave most of it to my son. But I want to go, daddy wants to take a shopping spree. He's going to do it. But dude, I still keep a lot.

I'm not getting rid of it when I die. Dude, you're dressing me in a nice thing in my casket. That's going to cost some money, but the rest goes to the others. She's just going to throw you in the ocean. Oh, dude, yeah. In a fire-ass outfit. No, no, just go get some shoes from the closet. Not getting anything new from this motherfucker.

Man, Eric went on a rant. Yeah, that was crazy, Eric. You're a crazy guy. How many years did you coach? He's all one year. No, no, a lot, a lot. One season. Yeah, many years.

A lot of championships. I guess Jersey's too big, right? It's also not a thing, right? No, no, no, his head is too small. Oh, that's what it is. That's what it is. That's a normal-sized Jersey, but his head is like... Hockey's tough. Like somebody with voodoo, you know what I mean. That's what it is. That's a normal-sized jersey, but his head is like— Hockey's tough.

Like somebody with voodoo, you know what I mean? Yeah, Beetlejuice. Like that Beetlejuice dandruff. What do you got, Nick? Hey, guys. Bryce from Fort Wayne, Indiana. I just want to send in a feel-good story. This is NHL player Patrick Maroon after a post-game interview.

What everybody else thought was just another goal that he scored. He actually was the first one that he scored with his son watching it live in the NHL game. And the broadcast did a great job of getting everything, and it's really beautiful. So check it out. P.S. I came to Brendan and Brian's show when they came to Fort Wayne. Great shows, but don't worry, Chris.

I wore my No Dent shirt to both of them. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, you did. Oh, wait. Buzz, buzz. Soar. Woo, woo, woo, woo. Go Detroit Red Wings, baby.

News came in and supported and Dry Saddle came in and great play and we just got it through. I always tell myself I have to get to the net and good things happen. It felt good tonight, especially in my hometown. The goal was great, but I wonder what you think of this reaction by your son and family.

It's pretty cool. Pretty emotional. Pretty cool, but I don't get to see him as much. It's pretty special. Yeah, and he thinks that of you as well. Hey, Patrick, thanks a lot. Christmas is on the way. More time with Anthony.

Absolutely. Okay, thank you. I just have a question. Hopefully you lose in the playoffs and you go spend time with your son. I don't know. I have a question. Uh-oh. You start talking about the coaching.

No, no, no. I'm just saying, like, you're a millionaire, I would assume. Why aren't you spending time with your kids? Because they play so many fucking games. Hockey is like baseball. They're on the road nonstop. But this kid looked like his kid was, like, of an age. Bring him.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm just saying, why is this the first time? On the road? Take him. I'm looked like his kid was of an age. Bring him. Yeah. I don't know. I'm just saying, why is this the first time? On the road? Take him. I'm just saying, why is that the first time? I'm just curious. Yeah.

Why is what the first time? Why is that the first time his kid has seen him live? That's the first time you've seen him live, you said? Yeah. See him score. Score a goal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so he's just a trash player.

Or he's like a defense guy or who knows. Eric keeps it real, but he's a dick. Let's make no mistake. Okay, now. You're a bad guy. I totally get it now. So he's like a defense guy or who knows Eric keeps it real but he's a dick make no mistake they're a bad guy I totally get it now so he's like yeah he's happy he made the goal he's crying

because he made the goal and his son got to see him oh because his son's been there many times he probably didn't score and he had to score his son is just in the stands

I suck as a player my son finally saw me score it's weird he was like I don't get to see him he's in the stands like is that your dad when he scored, everyone

went, finally! No, I think that's really sweet. No, no, but I was just curious. The sweet thing, Eric ruined it. Yeah, Eric ruined the feel-good moment, of course. Great submission, my man. Yeah, no, that is sweet. I like that kind of shit. That's very sweet. I love that shit. Fuck yeah, dude. That makes me happy. It makes me happy, dude.

Me too. When Calvin runs out on stage at the end of the show, every now and then he does that. You know what this needs? What? It needs like buttons so you can pick the one you want. Because it sucks when you like. When it goes ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah.

You want this. Every time. Right? Then that stupid one comes on. That one's good. Don't do that one. Fuck yourself. Jesus Christ, guys.

That one is. It fucks up the joke. Listen, listen, listen. Hey, look at me. Go fuck yourself when that one comes on. So if you want to. Oops. Yeah. Jesus Christ. So you want to... Oops. Yeah.

Brendan interrupts, you want to go... Every time. Okay. Not ding-a-ding-a-ding. I'll work on fixing. Brendan interrupts, you don't want...

You don't want that. It's over. Eric came and fired up. Eric had one week off. Take that one off. Okay. Eric had one week off working TV.

Now he's treating us different, isn't he? Yeah, shout out to George Lopez That's why I wasn't here You still found a way to promote Danny from Indianapolis Got a new segment for you guys Ruining holidays

So Mother's Day 2007 2007 ruining my grandmother over uh he ran broke quite a few of her ribs her pelvic bone in two places and snapped her wrist oh my god i pulled her out from underneath the car um no she didn't die she's still still around busting my balls every chance she gets and yeah introducing me to anyone knew that she meets as the one who ran her over wow so yeah oh grandma got run over by him vehicular manslaughter whatever you got whoa buzz woo. That would ruin your fucking holiday. That's, what holiday was it? Mother's Day. Chris, did he say that?

I thought he said Christmas. No, he said Mother's Day. Well, any time it's so bad. Yeah, yeah, dude. I don't care if it's just Tuesday. If it's Easter, who gives a shit, man? You run your grandmother over on whatever day. If it's a Sunday.

That day's not ruined. Never run your grandmother over. Yeah. Let's say that. But also, get out the way, old bitch. You know what I mean? What's she doing behind the car? Why are you in the way? But when you're...

But they're old and shit, and you're like, if they're over, you gotta look a little bit more carefully. Also, you, get a better car that has the, like, you know... He looks like a truck guy, though. Might be one of those big 1500 Silverados. But everything's got reverse cams, beep, beep. He looks like a truck guy, though. Might be one of those big 1500 Silverados. But everything's got reverse cams and stuff like that. Could have been a horse. Have you ever had holidays ruined?

That was really his question. Yeah. That was his example. I mean, not that badly. Not really, no. Nothing trumps that. No, no. I never really had a ruin.

Attempted murder? No, never. My dad pushed a Christmas tree over at a family reunion for Christmas. On purpose? Oh, yeah. He's pissed. Well, that counts. It was one of those big trees.

That counts. You see at the fucking Times Square. That's tough to follow, but that's ruining it. Oh, my dad was like, oh, no. What was he having a fight with? Santa. No. You didn't bring what we wanted.

My son asked for it. Oh, you didn't know that his dad was broke, so he was like blaming Santa. Yeah. It's fucking ridiculous. You didn't bring my son fish. No fish. Fucking. It was laughing. but when my parents were together it was when my parents were together and they were going through a divorce i'm you gotta fight my mom i'll never forget i was young i was like four i just remember this huge christmas tree going you ever ask him later like why you fucked the

that just sparked my memory and he's coming to town on friday i'm like hey why the fuck did you push that tree over he's gonna go like this wasn't I'm going to be like, hey, why the fuck did you push that tree over? He's going to go like this. It wasn't me. I don't remember it. Yeah. Take mom in the other room and fight. Why are you going to push the tree? Take mom in the other room, bring the tree, push it down right there in that room. Dude, hit her in private.

Am I right? No, I don't know. I don't think so. Do you guys have a thing like you don't fight in front of your kids? Yeah. Try not to. Is it kind of hard? It's impossible because it takes a lot to like

Can we do this later? I'm just not that guy You're not that guy? It's tough. It's experience Do you ever undermine the other person? That I really try not to do I do it all the time My girls say something If it's off on food or whatever

I'm like no no come here Oh no you can't do that Trust me it's one of the biggest fights we get in Oh, I'm like, no, no, come here. Oh, no, you can't do that. Oh, no, no, trust me. It's one of the biggest fights we get in. Oh, yeah! No, I'm working on it, dude. I know. Are you?

I'm working on it. It's not good. You know that's equivalent to pushing the Christmas tree. Yeah, yeah. It's not good, yeah. Yeah. Oof. Let's talk about Nick's twin sister for a second.

Is it a twin? No, it's not my twin. She's four years older. Yeah, you send that group chat. Yeah, I ran into Nick's sister at the airport. She was like, oh, I'm not my twin. She's four years older. Yeah, you send that group chat. Yeah, I ran into Nick's sister at the airport. She was like, oh. She does colonics. She's an ass expert.

Oh, what? What's that? Really? You shouldn't have told us that. She was really sweet. Nick getting fired up. Like inside, just bubbling. He's all, no.

You're going to tell us his sister works with asses And not think On a This kind of podcast I thought it was common knowledge I didn't even hear about that My sister does colonics I want one Like a colonoscopy shit Yeah

No no No no no An ass cleaning No she sucks Isn't that what a colonoscopy is No no A colonoscopy is When they're checking for

Oh right Prostate There we are Doctors do colonoscopies Anybody can open up Their own colonic shop, but she's killing it in Minneapolis.

I felt like a little bit of shade there by Nick, right? She's like, she's not a doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyone can shove a tube in your ass and make money. And cut to her being like,

yeah, anybody can press buttons on a computer. Yeah, your sister is not ugly, Nick. Nah, she was sweet. She was pretty, yeah. And were you guys close growing up? Yeah, yeah. We're super cool Nick. Nah, she was sweet. She was pretty, yeah. And were you guys close growing up?

Yeah, yeah. We're super cool. That's awesome. Was there a moment when you saw this picture and you were like, okay, Chris, get away. At least it's not the airport. Yeah, yeah. You guys didn't go together, did you?

Under flight. You guys took a picture at security it was right afterwards because that's what she came up to me i was like no get the fuck out of here yeah what a coincidence and do they look alike at all in person yeah they're definitely brother sister yeah it's it's it's pretty it's so i think it's always weird to see like meet somebody's sibling after you know them for a while you're like oh fucking that's so weird yeah i mean it's a little different when it's brother sister but when it's like brother brother same sex or whatever sister sister you're like oh that's so fucking it's so weird bro it's so weird to see people that look alike when you meet

somebody's family and they look just like like my family they're all delias it's fucking weird and they know they know like her the sister knows you because you work with nick yeah yeah like when i came to your son's birthday party uh i was playing with your son. Yeah. They were saying your wife was like, oh, no, that's daddy's co-worker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't say co-worker. I know. I know. Well, you say it different to a three-year-old.

Yeah, I get it. I get it. It's not like he's going to be like, oh, which podcast? You know what I mean? Calvin might. Calvin might. Yeah. That's true.

Which one is it? Kyle would just be like this. Is that Golden Hour? What else you got, Nick? That's it. He sings the thing. That's it. Let's go get some Colin Osmond.

That one, right? Oh, that's our Move Colonics. Yeah. So if you're in Minneapolis. Minneapolis. Golden Hour. I can see Kyle. You should have Kyle do it.

Be like, all right, buzz, buzz. You know, all that shit. That'd be funny to hear him do it. Jam on it. We need jam on it merch. People love jam on it. Jam on it. That's a good one.

Jam on it, man. I was laughing so hard. That was so funny, dude. God, that was fucking funny. That's it? That's it. All right, Atlanta. See you next Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Atlanta, Georgia, Europe. So I'll see you guys soon. Man, I got a ton of dates. Go to Chrisley.com. Also, Nashville. I didn't mention that one. I'm coming. Just go to Chrisley.com.

Code DONTPUSHME for pre-sale. This comes out Thursday, so it'll still be maybe a little pre-sale. But yeah, Chrisley.com. I'm going everywhere. All right, Springfield, Missouri, April 13th through the 16th. I'm coming. Louisville Comedy Club, 20th through the 22nd. And the Mothership in Austin. Come check me out, 28th through the 16th, I'm coming. Louisville Comedy Club, 20th through the 22nd. And the Mothership in Austin.

Come check me out, 28th through the 30th. I think David Lucas is going to be there with me. Oh, cool. Dope. Love him. And, yeah, I'm still doing my UFC combat buddies, watching old UFCs every day chronologically. And the Friday this comes out, Mike Davis,

10 and 2 UFC fighter, is going to be joining me. He's a big streamer himself. All right, guys. Love you. See you.