The Golden Hour - You Dumb Dumb Turtles | The Golden Hour #132 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: May 16, 2025The guys discuss our very own Casey starring in the new Tom Segura Netflix show "Bad Thoughts", new updates regarding P Diddy, Erik posting his wife breastfeeding his baby at a high end resta...urant and butt dialing the Golden Hour group chat, a "best podcast" award category that will debut at the Golden Globes in 2026, the Japanese toilet song from South Park and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastShady Rays - Go to http://shadyrays.com and use code Golden for 35% off polarized sunglassesDraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code GOLDENSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
As I show you, use the love, just rebrand it enough
It's stronger, bigger power cuz it is the golden hour
Look at the Karen Reed trial. That's what Kristen is all
Watching right now. I feel if it was important. I mean Eric would know it's big. It's huge. Is it? Yeah
I mean, she's not P diddy, but Eric would oh no it's big it's huge is it yeah, I mean she's not P
Diddy, but she's it's a it's a
Yes, I do I are you kidding me I have to carry it she she her husband died and
They think they're prosecuting her
Or so they think she killed her husband.
Yeah. And it's just a mess, bro.
It's a mess.
I mean, there's so much doubt.
What?
Damn, that's so interesting.
Yeah, this is interesting.
It is huge news.
Yeah, it was huge news, you dumb, dumb turtles.
Hey.
Turtles?
Hey, hey, have you ever seen every episode of-
Well, I'm Donate every episode yeah yeah I'm Michael
Angela yeah this is a documentary on any episode of cold case that's what this is
no no no this is this is a whole hey cover up you didn't bring it today you
didn't bring it today we're talking about police department and you bring up carry read we're talking about some real shit
Underground shit you guys are the
B side
Real hip-hop I'll trump his weird fucking trial thing, but there's a document that just came out American
Something where the it's an American marriage. Seen it. Seen it. Seen it.
Where the...
American marriage.
Yes.
Seen it.
Don't tell me what happens.
I'm almost done.
Did you dig it?
Yeah.
So...
What's it about though?
I watched it on Real Hip Hop.
Irish dude has a wife with two kids.
She dies unexpectedly.
He brings in like a nanny.
He marries the nanny.
She dies.
And then, nope. Then hold on. He brings like a nanny. He marries the nanny She and then nope then hold on shoot. He brings in the nanny
She kind of then they start dating to get married and then he dies kind of telling it wrong. He died
You know what? I can tell by the look on your face. Go ahead
He's not wrong, but he's telling it wrong, but he's not wrong, but he's right with all those facts
so then the his wife and
Her dad who came over kill beats him to death like brick to the head
Baseball bat one side so claims one side. Yeah, you got you. Yeah, and then then they went to prison for three years
They lost the kids and then they re they read. Oh, don't tell me what happens. Oh, did they get out? Oh
You know they are
because they're being interviewed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway.
It's good though.
It's definitely one of the-
It's way better than that bullshit
you came with this time.
We didn't even see it, you know?
Yeah.
I would say that that one is-
We're talking OJK, she's like,
did you see the case of those kids
that robbed the 705?
I'm real hip hop.
I'm more of-
I got my ear to the streets.
How is white woman real hip hop? Karen Reed. That I got my ear to the street woman real hip hop Karen
That's what you did. Just just like you to say that man. You don't get it
The pity stuff though. Listen, I'm trying to you know, I get it. He's a bad guy
But I don't watch I go I don't see anything illegal yet. I haven't seen my mouth. Yeah, you're a freak off
That's what freaks do well
Yeah, all I know is you were just saying, like somebody said, it was like, yeah,
he gave me access, he had a party.
Yeah.
And he's like, oh, okay, you took drugs at a party?
Yeah, yeah, like the-
That's literally what a party is.
Like the, cause I was saying earlier that,
like what's happening is they won't show it on TV.
So there's someone from the,
like all of the news outlets have somebody in the courtroom
and they're just like, you know,
relaying everything that's being said.
And I saw one article where I was like, okay, where's the crime? I'm still waiting to hear the major crime. I haven't seen one crime yet. Yeah, you know, relaying everything that's being said. And I saw one article where I was like, okay, where's the crime?
I'm still waiting to hear the major crime yet.
You know, but who knows?
You know, they're going to have to bring people because to me it's like, you know,
they keep talking about he brought prostitutes in to have sex with Cassie.
So she's going to have to come and say, like, I didn't want to do that.
But then they would be like, but you still did it.
Well, well, they're portray to your head controlling yeah, but again
I feel like if we were talking about that's one freak off if we're talking about one freak off mm-hmm all right
Okay, right, but ten well. I don't care because I saw it to me it
I honestly I don't even follow it anymore because well
I never really followed it, but once he I saw him beat Cassie yeah
I go alright well he should just be it doesn't matter because that's enough to
go to jail you know I mean I don't know how long yeah I figured out I don't know
this is like the referees doing a makeup call in basketball yeah so this is the
makeup call it was like giving Denzel Washington the Oscar for Training Day because they didn't,
when he did the hurricane.
Fact.
You mean, or Malcolm X?
Yeah, right.
Well, hurricane was the year before.
He should've got it for hurricane.
But Kevin Spacey got it.
And look what happened.
So.
No, but.
Fair point.
Fair point.
No, but they should've gave it to Denzel at hurricane.
No doubt.
That was a fantastic performance.
Same thing with OJ. When they give him the Oscar. No. No, I'm saying they did they didn't get him
And then they then they got him, you know for what for like what was it kidnapping kidnapping?
Yeah, he went to go get his stuff and they gave him like a 15 year
They gave him the lifetime Oscars what they did
So I think I agree with you and this is why they played this video in court
The first thing they played was they the prosecution played the the Cassie video and I think it's like this is who we're dealing with
Just you know the beat up. Yeah. Yeah, just so you know, this is who we're dealing with. It's I mean, you know, but again
It doesn't mean that everything else that he that they're accusing him of he's guilty. No, I know
I but I mean, you know, know, again, I'm with you though.
They kinda go like, you lose.
I lose interest when I know they did it.
Yeah, or did something bad.
Right, yeah, exactly.
So it's like.
Yeah, but the feds aren't gonna storm both houses
for him beating his wife.
That's why I'm like, oh, I gotta look into this.
I have no idea.
Maybe they should do that kinda stuff.
I have no idea.
Speaking of award shows, we gotta start campaigning for Golden Globe. They're gonna do that kind of stuff. I have no idea. Speaking of award shows,
we gotta start campaigning for a Golden Globe.
They're gonna do podcasts. What?
Wow.
If Vitamin Kid doesn't get a life achievement award,
I'm gonna freak the fuck out. That's so funny.
That's just gonna be like Conan O'Brien and,
you know what I mean? And Smartless.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not gonna be.
I bet you Rogan won't be nominated.
Yeah.
Even though he's the biggest.
No, he won't be nominated. No, the Golden Globes are in too. I'd love to see Theo win that, you know? I bet Theo couldan won't be nominated. Yeah. Even though he's the biggest. No, he won't be nominated.
No, the Golden Globes are here too.
I'd love to see Theo win that, you know?
I bet Theo could be on that.
Yeah.
Yeah, they might do something like that.
I don't know.
It's the Hollywood Foreign Press.
I don't think they're exactly fans of the idea that,
I don't really believe it, but that's-
I'll bet anybody a good amount of money armchair.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.
Because it needs to be-
Kristen Bell, Dax, it needs to be a little
wokey. Well maybe they're gonna have like what if they have like you know how they do like best episode
or something like that I could see like anybody getting one of those are the big ones. I think
it's just podcasts overall they're not gonna break it down. That's funny. Well sometimes they do that you know when you see them
definitely gonna get nominated. Congratulations. Best Patreon, best Patreon.
What?
Would you show up to the red carpet?
No.
That for that?
Well maybe because it's hilarious.
No, no, this is the Golden Globes though.
What do you mean?
Oh, if we got nominated, I would show up in a full tuxedo with a long tail and a cane.
It'd be a big ordeal.
I mean, yeah, I guess that's a funny thing.
Yeah.
It's such horse shit though.
Yeah.
I'm still kind of, you know, I think maybe more likely to probably get best actor, best
director, you know what I mean?
Best of life, best director of life.
Best life director.
This sounds stupid.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, so does best podcast.
This is Golden Globes trying to get ratings.
Yeah.
Well, no, it's just trying to, yeah. You mean the things that people actually- You're like best podcast. This is Golden Globes trying to get ratings. Yeah. Well, no, it's just trying to yeah You mean the thing like people are things that you actually watch
You know, I mean you can't that's only fans girl. You can't deny
Podcasts are a huge part of media now. I mean, it's undeniable. Oh it trumps media Trump
Yeah, yeah, but it will be moving any any media. It will be, man, podcasts are like huge. They make huge stars.
These people are stars, man.
The fact that people know who Rogan is, it's not because of his comedy, it's not because
of fear factor, it's not because of a news radio.
Well, he's been around forever.
He's been around forever, but what I'm saying is when you think of him now, you think of
this.
So it's like, it should be, it's a huge part of media. And think of the people that
have like, you know, they had a career and then they got into podcasting and then they
went back to the career they had before. Look at Tom Segura, man. I mean, Tom Segura is
so huge. Now he has this new Netflix series that's coming out. I mean, it's all because
of on the backs of like, you know, the podcast fandom.
Well everything that's happening with
Dax Shepard too, whatever Dax Shepard gets us to do.
Oh yeah, exactly!
Yeah, you just Chris and Bell's husband for a long,
even though he had a great career with Chris and Bell,
but then his show was massive.
The girls from the office, that's a huge fricking podcast.
I don't watch podcasts about shows.
Jason Bateman and those guys, the podcast that they got. Gotta be. Yeah, I don't call podcasts about shows. Jason Bateman and those guys, the podcast that they got.
Yeah, I don't call that podcasting.
Yeah, well, I mean, it is technically,
but it's just like, it's just produced.
Yeah.
I'll tell you a big podcast world right now
that is just really on the rise is these NBA players, man.
They're huge.
Like Gilbert Arenas their arenas
I'm just saying for this I'm wondering on the rise
Yeah, they're still rising though. No, but I'm saying I'm rising like this Andre rising might have one
Oh my god, you know who that is. It's a football player for the fucking Falcons, bro
And also those the Packers scored a touchdown. No, I'm sure he rises
His name is left eye left eye. She's famous for her left eye. Bro, I'm telling you. Oh, dude, I'm the Andre Risen Wikipedia page.
All the shit I knew more than everybody.
And the girl.
You're the one and the girl.
Oh, am I real hip hop now?
No.
Am I real hip hop now?
No, you've never been hip hop.
No one thinks of hip hop and thinks of you.
Well, OK.
But that's, you know.
No one.
Can we watch the trailer?
Because there's a huge star in there.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Casey's the star.
Oh, I know, bro. You ruined it. I know. Spoiler alert, Casey's the main tragedy. Now we don't have to watch it, you ruined it.
Here's just the Casey cut of the trailer. Okay. Casey went to the premiere too. This is Tom Segura's show.
Came out last Tuesday. Oh it did? Okay. If you're looking to streamline your
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no volume ruined it yeah cool sweet well I think we can't play it right That's good.
And I assume he's just dreaming that.
It's called bad thoughts.
As you said that, you should have waited for the time.
Yeah.
So that's awesome, dude.
That's awesome. You look tall there. You look tall there. So that's that's awesome, dude. That's awesome. You look taller.
You look taller.
Where did they shoot that case?
You look like you can't do that.
Look at your face.
You can't say you look taller than go.
I just say whatever, bro.
It's all good.
He had to actually lift him up to.
And that drops tonight.
No, it came out last week. I you good listener? Yeah tonight last Tuesday for listening
You did deductive reasoning good good. You're good. You're doing like just one episode a week
Oh, they're all out so I'm only watching the one with Casey in it. What episode is that five looks like I'm watching five
I'm gonna binge it like it's lost
Just fucking I'm gonna be it like it's lost just
fucking I'm gonna be up to 5 a.m. you guys see the one with the smoke
monster I watched all of black mirror and I was upset when I got to the part
the one on the ship thing because I was like I don't remember all this I think
they do that on purpose because then I had to go back yeah that one was awful
yeah yeah because I was like what's happening that one is all that one is all because the ship one was my favorite
I guess I like that remember every I guess people like that one. I don't remember if I like that or not
I know that's why they made a sequel
Second one is three sequels to this now. This is the third one whatever this one. I want to watch it
Whatever this one was terrible. It's so bad. Is it just because you forget the first one?
That's part of the reason.
Yeah, but you know what?
But it's also-
It's not for dum-dums.
It's also too much.
I know, but if you had the other parts fresh in your head-
Yeah, but it's too long.
Yeah, I agree.
You're not.
Nah.
It sounds like you have to do a little homework though.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't want to do homework when I'm watching fucking TV.
It's not for you.
It's not for you.
No, it's not.
I saw a movie- Too smart. Until Dawn. I saw it in the theaters. What's that?
You know by yourself. It's like a Groundhog Day scary movie another one of those. Yeah, I heard about this
Yeah, it was just
the most cliche
Like three white girls fell down running in this movie. Hell, yeah, right, right, right. I was like really
running in this movie. Hell yeah.
Right, right, right.
So I was like, really?
Big tits, big tits.
Yeah, just white girls running and then they fall
and then the monster comes.
I'm just like, but you know what?
I had three good scares in it.
Oh really?
You can see my letterbox review.
He just pisses.
Oh God.
He doesn't jump, he just pisses.
He's just sitting there and a scare happens
and he goes, and it pisses.
Damn, that was scary.
And then another one, three, three.
Just his pants are so footy. No, I'm actually, I turned into like a crazy black woman when I'm in the movies.
Robb, bitch.
Yeah, that's me.
I'm in the theater like, oh shit, did y'all see that?
That's me in the movie.
Popcorn flying everywhere.
Yeah.
But you know what?
I love being scared by movies.
Wow, dude.
You're...
That's my...
Let's see this review.
No, I don't want Brendan to read it. No
Am I right?
No, dude until dawn dawn. I don't even know. Do I know this movie two and a half stars?
Here's Eric until dawn. I didn't hate this movie
But I didn't love it it was full of 80s horror movie cliches
How many white girls fell down for no reason in this movie?
Am I right?
Wow!
And why, if there's clearly some scary supernatural shit
going on, why would you split up from your group
in a weird, scary, haunted house?
A lot of this stuff in that movie happened
was complete and utter nonsense, am I right?
But at the same time, entertaining,
and a couple of really good jump scares
for all you want to know.
And when the movie was over, I felt entertained.
That's a great review.
I'd watch it.
Letterboxd, Eric Griffin.
Yeah, when you read those,
it makes you want to destroy Letterboxd.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how people are reading it in their head.
Thunderbots, I absolutely. No, Nick and no more, turn it off. Yeah, that's how people are reading in their head
We're done Nick
These are some of the absolute best actors in Marvel Universe
Nick I don't think that's why the story works
What's this yeah, I saw this
I'll have what she's having. Yeah, I'll have what he's having. I thought that was a wild post. Is that a restaurant?
Rachel put one of these up on her own thing.
So many people hit me, like all the dudes
that hit me up with an attitude about it,
they're like, dude, I can't believe you posted this.
Oh, shut up.
I'm like, oh, you don't have kids,
or you don't understand, all the women there
that are like, this is so beautiful.
Well, well, you know what I mean? They're going to go overboard, but yeah. But I know, but what
I'm saying is like- Are people eating around you in the middle of the night? Yeah, yeah. So it's a baby.
Check this out. We're at Mastro's. Hell yeah, dude. But we were in a corner. We were in a corner.
You know what I mean? But I was like, I'm on the next table like this.
You know what? As I look at it like this right now,
thinking about Mastros, this is crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
You're smarter than this.
Dude, the post is crazy.
The post isn't crazy.
The fact that we're at Mastros is crazy.
That's insane.
And I used to do jokes about this kind of stuff.
That's nuts.
If you have a kid, it changes your perspective.
Well, I mean, whatever, but also,
you don't bring a blanket, you don't have a blanket.
Yeah.
You don't do the cover over her?
Listen, listen, listen.
A napkin.
You don't think I already said this?
Yeah, I know.
You think this is my choice?
And what'd she say?
You think I did a ditty thing?
Take that blanket off and hand that ditty out.
No, she's like, this is Rachel.
This is, okay, this is what I have to do.
It's motherhood, okay?
Hey, whatever.
What do you want me to do, all right? Hey, my kid has to eat. She is right. You know what I mean? So I'm like I just got worried about it
I've got someone to protect her there if some shit goes down. Yeah
Get a blanket though, right? I'm gonna be on the phone like, Brandy get the Palm Springs now!
Get into TRX and get here!
I'm sorry Post, I'm on my way already.
I'm sorry to post, I'm on my way already. You know, so it's just...
I'm right next to you, I'm at the table eating, man.
Boy, she has some tits.
Yeah, Brennan's like, dude, you don't need the phone right now.
I'm right here, buddy.
So stupid.
I don't have a blanket either.
I mean, to me, it's interesting, the internet is such a crazy thing to see so many different perspectives
You know you post that I mean people hit me ever be like this is wild that you post
Then there's somebody else who's like, you know, I tell you all the women this is beautiful
Well, they go overboard they go overboard
And then there's guys who are like I could tell that just are not in relationships mad no idea
What did you get a lot of like, damn dude,
she has some big tits.
Of course, of course.
Yeah, that was me.
For me.
But I'm like, I mean, yeah, I get it.
All right.
But yeah, I don't care.
How long was the nipple out before the clapping?
Of course it was like quick.
An hour and a half.
It wasn't, guys, it wasn't like this.
He prepped it.
Boom, and then walked over to the thing.
He prepped it.
Her tits are out, she was like, are you gonna eat that? No, it was like he prepped it quick he goes
Then she has her normally she has her hand like this because he'll like because he'll be like
And I'm always telling her Rachel your titty
your titty
So she you know, he's put a picture she was like, you know you know, by the way, wolf, I'm sick of that shit.
Hell yeah, get this at chrisley.com.
No!
Take it out when your wife starts breastfeeding at Mastro's.
And she's always just been like that,
just takes the tit out and wherever.
She was a model.
That's how they met!
She was a model for 16 years.
They don't care, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some people will be like, oh my God, but it's like, it's a beautiful thing.
It's just a tit.
Yeah, it's a tit.
I rolled my shirt off.
It's natural.
That's just taking a shit, but you don't do it on the table.
You know what I mean?
Facts.
Yeah, but it's natural.
But I can see Kristin taking a picture of you doing that because it's funny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
It's natural to take a shit.
Yeah.
I, yeah, I don't, I don't, this is the one, that's one of those things that it's, yeah, yeah, I know. It's natural to take a shit. Yeah. I, yeah, I don't, I don't, this is the one,
that's one of those things that it's,
there's so much going on in the world,
just don't worry about that.
Yeah. You know?
Yeah, but if you have master's, I'm like, oh damn.
Well, yeah, no, you've noticed
because it's out of the ordinary.
I would be like, hey, hey, hey.
We were in the corner.
It was like, we were.
I would still be like, babe.
We were in the corner. I just, listen. You're on a date next to him, you're like, yeah, I'll have the corner. It was like we were still be like babe
You're on a date next to him you're like, yeah, I'll have the steak medium boobs
With a side of tits, oh god
Lini, I mean broccoli, but it is weird if the, cause we've been at Disneyland, like certain areas where moms are doing it. Yeah, sorry man.
Where moms are doing it.
Like, what are you looking at?
It's like, your big titties out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your big titties out.
I don't care about that.
People are always stopping me
when I'm jacking off at Cole's.
You think that's the same?
I forgot my blanket.
Anyway. Wait, wait, wait. You think that's the same? I forgot my blanket. Where are the coffee makers?
Do any of us believe Chris shops at Coles?
Oh shit!
This is completely different.
Oh shit!
Dude, look at that baby on that giant titty at the bottom there.
Bro, that dude.
Oh shit!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Oh shit!
Well he eatin' dog.
Okay, it's not like this.
That's weird, dude.
It wasn't like this at Mastro's.
That's the Kobayashi of titty suckin'.
Eric's like, I don't see a problem with this.
Yeah, now this is different,
if you had Mastro's like that.
It's a little workaround to get a good following
I know they put that shit on YouTube and it's like bro
What but I'm surprised that that's still allowed like I'm gonna get flagged
Women this is a curated account. Yeah, which is which is definitely it's like come on, bro
There's guys who are pressed underscore feeding mom guys who are into this that one mom edges says pepper
Oh, what the fuck it was a priest to spank in her. That's not right. Where the fuck that is priest
Oh, oh, he's putting some in her butt. Oh, this is not breastfeeding
The pages really lost its way. Oh
Right is this oh what's happening is this isn't even patreon
Oh. Why is this, oh.
What's happening?
This isn't even Patreon.
Is this?
Look, this is on Instagram.
Yeah, this is all gonna have to be blurred.
Yeah, and we'll be flagged,
but on Instagram they'll be thriving.
Dude, this is crazy.
Is that a spatula?
A spatula?
No, look, wait, wait, wait, watch the,
and Nick, get ready to freeze it.
What are you, from a small town in the 20s?
Hey, is that a spatula?
Wait, you'll see.
That's bad.
Fuck all you guys, fuck all you guys,
wait till you see it.
Look, look, bitches, you're talking. It's a watchma call it. Keep going. It's bad. Fuck all you guys. Fuck all you guys. Wait, you didn't see it. Look, look, bitches.
You're talking.
Keep going.
It's a watchma call it.
Keep going.
It's a dildo, bro.
Keep going.
And he's, and she looks like she's kind of having a.
Oh!
Ah!
Ah!
What?
Apologies, please.
I didn't see it, because I don't look at that.
What he's paying inside her is a spatula.
Oh.
Yeah, not a spatula.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, well, Eric knows, because he cooks a lot. Yeah.
How about the Asian jig with small titties?
Where? Keep going right there.
Well, we have to blur this.
Yeah. Compared to the other fun bags on there.
Yeah, that's our pregnant boobs.
Yeah. What are we talking about?
My tits are bigger because you guys are a disgrace.
OK. You're a disgrace. Go to that other one.
That's wild, dude.
Lower right.
Yeah, but they're at home.
Well, not anymore. They're on the internet.
They're not at Mastro's.
They're on the internet now. You can look at that on the internet at Mastro's.
Like a G.
Fucking G'd up from the feet up, dude. Guys, let's take a little break and talk about some raids that help with some shade.
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Yeah, well, that's wild, dude. Oh, maybe maybe wife you make that page
Hey got one for you. Good one. They're gonna say we need video
Be like well next time we're at Mastro's,
we'll take video.
We're actually headed to Mr. Chow's tonight.
She's gonna get both tits out.
Video wouldn't have been as good
because you would have seen it wasn't like,
it was just for the picture.
It's like, okay.
You're here in the background.
I'll have the medium tits, oops.
Where'd you get that shirt?
The Big Man store.
But like, what, is it a...
DXL. Shout out to DXL.
Okay. And is it on like a,
they have just like printed graphic t-shirts?
Yeah, yeah, they have a bunch of graphic tees.
Anytime you see a graphic t-shirt.
You do it from the website or you go in?
Well, Rachel goes in.
Oh, got it.
And she grabs.
I dig the shirt.
She spends $500 and goes,
I got you new shirts.
Right. Like what? how much was this?
Well, that's so funny man. Have you seen any back behind the scenes from the Tom Cruise mission possible? Of course not
Yeah, I just see him online, but they're pretty insane. Oh, yeah, you don't see the face is good person
Oh, yeah, I was on set that day. It is Nick. There's Nick
This is out. This is so crazy. I keep saying he should fake his death.
This makes my asshole tight.
Or this is how he's gonna die.
He's gonna be on a plane.
I think that's how he wants to go there.
You know what?
That is...
You know what's crazy?
The picture of your wife with her tits out was more shocking than that.
No, that's so wild.
I mean, he's done a version of that before, but that on that plane, dude, you have to,
whenever I see that kind of stuff,
I think of how, what he must be doing.
Like he's probably like,
like that's so funny to me.
He's also damn near 60.
He's so scared, you know?
Like, and he didn't even know what's going on.
You know when you're in your first fight
and you're like, what the fuck?
This is what he's just like, where am I?
He didn't know he was up or down.
No, this is his 10,000th time doing this shit.
I think he's normal to it now.
He actually, he does all this stuff.
No, I know.
He actually flies fighter jets.
I think he's like.
He flew the fighter jet in a fucking.
This thing.
They crashed like so many of these.
Those are like 100 grand too, those motorcycles. He crashed like six or of these those are like a hundred grand to those motorcycles he crashed like six or
Seven of them six. I think I got put up six
Yeah, they're so expensive that motorcycle. I'm sure they got like a bullshit version of made it look like a shell
No, they talked about it. No Tom won the real thing. God. He's going crazy. He's got that money
This guy I mean, it's unbelievable
Yeah, I mean if you're unbelievable. It is, yeah.
I mean, if you're a director.
I still don't watch it.
You're a director and you're a star.
You're a millionaire star.
It's like, yeah, I'll jump into the volcano.
This is the only way to get his rocks off, though.
If you're Tom Cruise, like, you've done it all, dude.
Right.
He's like, what else can I do?
He just had a, at the premiere for this movie,
he's standing on the roof of some fucking theater.
Yeah, I saw that.
Dude, that is fucking theater. Yeah, I saw that Dude that is
Really wild yeah, yeah, he's pretty gangster, but that's you know why they he's ultimate short
Do you know why they do this because he doesn't drugs he doesn't fuck no no the reason why you do this is because
It's either this actually makes you want to go see the movie
Oh, yeah, you're not saying when you're in the movie it gives it a little bit of authenticity
Yeah, I still talk about everyday fucking different people.
That's the Drapes.
That's why Jackie Chan was great.
Jackie Chan was doing this.
He doesn't fuck, he doesn't do drugs.
Dude, I guarantee you guys like that, they don't fuck.
Because here's the thing, dude.
They'd be dead.
If they did that and also fucked every day and did drugs, they'd be dead.
But I think for him to get his rocks off. He has to do that wild shit P did he was pissing girls mouth
They're the same guy no, but he's out of control that's the difference
What Chris is saying is out of control Chris is saying is he's done all the focus that he's not doing bad stuff
He's you know besides Scientology. He's doing
His thing you know yeah, he's he's he's he's it's bad stuff, you know, besides Scientology, he's doing, focusing on his thing, you know?
Yeah, he's, it's the adrenaline, dude, the guy's,
he's Tom Cruise, bro.
He walks around and the whole room changes,
every single room he goes into.
He's like the last actual movie star.
Even if no one else is in there, the lamp's out.
I'm telling you, he's one of those guys,
he could have been a cult leader,
he could have been like, you know.
He probably is.
He could have been, I'm just saying he's got that thing.
Like very few, like there's very few stars anymore
that you could think of that go,
oh they got that thing when they're on screen.
He got it, man.
I've seen him once in a room when I went to Espy's
and even I was like, holy shit, that's Tom fucking Cruz.
Could you beat up Tom Cruz?
I don't think so, dude.
I don't know. I don't know I
think you'd have to kill mission impossible about mission impossible yeah
he did have heels on though well watch out when he kicks well I mean he had like
four inch platforms on just stilettos yeah. It's for a roll. You just would be the camera just pans down and it's full on stilettos
Yeah, I mean, that's like I don't know. Well, who cares right? You know, I that is sure
I mean, it's like when when did this short guy thing even begin?
Since man was born. Yeah, it's always been a problem. When did it begin? You can't use a bit more shit
It's a problem. It's a problem. They're better at hiding.
When was it such a like, you know,
when did it become a cultural thing?
Caveman days.
Women don't like short guys.
It's not cultural, it's biological.
They want to be fucking, you know,
protected and shit.
And there's some short guys that protect you.
It's like having a small dog.
They'll still get the job done.
Well, no, but like-
They'll scare the intruders away.
But they're not gonna do what the king Corso does.
Mm, all right.
Like your wife wouldn't be with you if you were small.
Or yours, or mine.
Yeah, well my-
Like you like a big old fucking Saint Bernard
for your wife. My dad is-
I'm just bringing medicine. Get that thing back.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
You know what?
Sometimes you're a piece of shit,
but in a nice way.
Yeah, St. Bernard.
He's like a nice guy.
Everyone loves St. Bernard.
That's why I see you.
There we go everybody.
And you're like a Doberman kind of.
My wife's with me because of my large dick.
Large dick.
She said, she told me outright.
She said, she said your penis.
She said it last year.
She was like, it's your penis.
I go, really?
And she goes, yeah.
And I said, that's why you tried to put it in the vows.
And she was like, yeah, but you wouldn't let me
because you know, my whole family was there.
I didn't want her to talk about how big
it was in the vows yeah at what point in the elevator speech was your yes yes
floor four seven in your dick
I'm gangster yeah no I'm gangster I just stayed at that hotel oh yeah yeah big
boys you think about me? I did
I was gonna text you. Yeah, like you remember last time we're here, but that was guy. I felt it was gay
You know, it's you know, it's gay not doing it. I sent the fucking diet coke picture
Oh, I love that. Yeah, and then casey's drinking a partner diet. Yeah, bring it up
Yeah, I try to get rid of in the studio. There it is. There it is made my day. It's just smile
5 a.m. Or 6 a.m. Or something.
Boston. Oh. I was in Boston and I was taking to get in a flight and I drink Diet Coke and at 5 a.m
At 8 a.m. No, I didn't drink it. I drink one at 5 a.m. Yeah, I know you didn't drink it. Oh you didn't drink it?
No, I thought they had to you like a brand new. No, that was a coffee shop that had that there and I just got it
Yeah, the rest is history
This is the one you want. Nick loves that kind of shit.
It's the one you want.
Yeah, I don't care.
I would drink the partner one.
I would drink it.
Oh, dude, this one's better.
I feel like this one's better than the homie or friend.
Eric butt dialed the Golden Hour.
Such a boomer thing?
I thought I was gonna hear some
Shannon Sharp stuff
in the background.
Oh my God, imagine.
Hell yeah, breastfeed him.
Treat me like a baby.
I'm dealing with my fucking solar.
And then he finds it and he's just like, what?
Yeah.
Yeah, I was like, what's going on?
I don't know.
It was weird.
That was weird.
Yeah, I don't.
You can see how Shannon Sharp got in trouble.
Where were you?
You were like cursing the service. You're like, you don't get any service out here? got in trouble. Where were you you were like cursing the service?
You're you don't get any service out here. No because I was like outside dealing with the solar
The solar guy was there and we were on the phone with the other solar person trying to figure out this shit careful, bro
I loved I loved that. It's my obsession right now. It's the solar
You be my last two bills, minus $14.
Wow.
Oh, minus?
Yeah.
Would they pay you?
Yeah.
$14?
Yeah, baby.
Yeah, baby, that's a big deal.
That's a big deal.
That's some dad shit.
Dude, I feel like you'd be-
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You know what the normal bill in San Luis Obispo is,
without solar?
$28.
It'd be $500.
But my buddy, wait, wait, my buddy,
he doesn't have solar, he pays $1400 a month
because he got two electric cars.
$1400 a month with no solar.
I go off on his gallant time, I'm like.
I wipe my ass with that much money.
Oh my God.
If there's no toilet paper, right?
If there's no toilet paper, listen.
You know what's stupid about that?
Even if that were true, that would be dumb.
Because $1400 a month in a year
You could buy some other dumb shit that you like so that's stupid
It's not a flex to say I I waste $1400 a month. It's not a flex
I'm not wasting. He's immature. I'm not wasting. You're immature. Oh, yeah, so wait, so walk around the shitty ass
you guys think
Go to Smart final or cold?
I feel like you'd be great negotiating car prices on Facebook marketplace. With a shitty ass.
We could get you in this nice car.
Um, I'll be right back.
What's that smile?
Oh, uh, I'll be right back.
That's how much it raises the electric bill
to have the electric car, so it's not even cheaper than gas.
Yeah, that's crazy.
No, no, no, no.
Even like a regular electric bill would be like
anywhere from 300 to $800 in Santa Clarita.
But yeah, the electric car, it is expensive.
I power my house with a stationary bike, but that's.
It's not that much. But I'm saying. I make my do if you're if you're using your electric car every single day
It add up it adds up. I'm drinking lemonade eating, but it's still cheaper than gas
The TV is slowing down get your tits out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well, no, that's that's like a p.d. Yeah
I understand but she needs to work
Twofold keep her in shape save money get horny
get horny
Get horny gay ninjas. How dumb it would be if you were wiping your ass with
$1,400 every bro. I mean just in a month you used to 14 you just dollar bills. So leave it
So leave it shit in there
Just it's in the toilet thing. That's like... How many wipes does it take for you to be done?
It depends on the kind of...
Not me. If I haven't been drinking water.
Four to five.
Not me. What?
Kevin just looked at me like... Not me.
Yeah, but I told you, I get to seven and I just get in the shower.
Not me, bro. I keep going.
One time it was...
I have a poop bathroom. $2,500.
You show him who's boss
I'm surprised you have one of those electric
Thing the bidets all your and still have your own come on. You know he has that you have problems
Those things that's a myth those things don't work. You know I know that you're only using that your ass is
Not only is it not only is it disgusting it's wet I disagree did you get yours off Amazon or some shit cuz my shit's expensive I got a good one you walk up to it and it goes hello dude it's like the fucking South Park is it the Chinese toilet oh my god bro that episode do you did we talk about that here one time I I think we did, it was Japanese. When it goes, Oh yeah! The song.
Oh.
I haven't seen it.
That is funny to my funny bone.
Like that, the music, the song.
Oh yeah!
When it does that,
dude, that is a direct shot in my fucking,
makes me laugh.
Let me see it.
If you play the music, just type in music,
Japanese toilet music South Park, bro
When the guy goes, huh?
It
That's that's funny that's distilled funny here go ahead but the top one I think
Oh, yeah relaxing. Yeah, here we go
Just wait till the oh yeah. So dumb.
You're so dumb, dude.
So funny, bro.
That they that they knew to do that.
That would be in that song.
That's it.
The whole time. And then that would be in that song. That's it
And then that plays every time
Every time it every time plays dude. I fucking love that. You know you don't want to be on a toilet You know well dude that's
Nice scan Facebook marketplace, I'm just on there forever trying to find toilet paper. You don't like your family
No, she's during the day the day your feet go numb yeah I mean I go like five times a day though that's good though you're very healthy no no they say twice is
ideal more than that you have problems they do not say that dude bring it up
Nick I talked to my proctologist take a little break here dude I see what you
guys are doing on DraftKings.
I get it, dude, because the NBA 82 game grind is done
and the frickin' New York Knicks are about to win.
They might go to the championship, man.
That's insane, dude.
And my Nuggies are playing well, too.
Yeah.
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terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co I just saw. Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, that's...
Hello.
She's just skating on ice. This is some. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello. Hello. Hello. one. That's funny. I just sent it to my girlfriend. So I knew where it was
Fuck man, that is uh, that is that is
Hello is like hello, what's just scary? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah fucking guy dude
I was like that was your cue and you didn't do it
Good
Whatever the audio visual guys at my fucking house right now putting some shit up. We'll see what happened audio visual guys
Yeah, you know the fucking TV sounds around. What was that Nick?
We got a.
Another rap?
Same rap but this time we have a music video
and it's pretty great.
Oh.
How about that dude did the Muppet Babies things with us.
Or no, just the Babies again.
Yeah.
That one was a little weird though
cause it wasn't matching up and it's like it's weird.
But it was cool though but I think it was just weird oh yeah oh here we go
oh it's like a chin and Brendan had a baby there
Whoa
Whoa
What Oh
Wow so calm with gay, I wanna rap like Valk-Gay shit
Anyway, here's my new hit
You and the movies bro
Oh hell yeah dude
I gotta get that
You and the dudes with the tight boots
HELL YEAH BRO
You and my bottom is a power
Only joint gold and now I'm a
Oh the pubes bro
You and my bottom is a power
Spread the web
Strap your chest all cast
Got the turbo window
OOOOOOPS
You and my bottom is a power You and my bottom is a power You ain't gonna interrupt me I know Yeah, dude.
You wanna interrupt?
I know.
Fuck yeah, bro.
Well, not the skirt, but.
I don't like it.
Whoa, dude.
That's all AI?
Yeah. I don't like it. Bro. I get it. I get it.
Whoa, dude.
That's all AI?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
I mean, that would have taken nine years to make.
Yeah.
Just the biggest loser of all time.
Like, right before Christmas.
Because it gets to go like this.
Yeah.
All right, film.
Ch-ch-ch-ch.
OK.
Ch-ch-ch-ch.
Yeah.
It's kind of fucking and
And they gotta find the guy's name is that on Instagram sent to me Nicholas
I'll send it to you mark actually saw it on reddit. I haven't even seen the guy send it to us what oh yeah I do I haven't I did not see that I'm surprised well. I mean reddit wow reddit's got
Cool stuff like that going on usually the golden hour reddit is a positive place
Small oh really? Oh, that's good
Well, I don't even know about it. I don't know yeah, I don't go on reddit. I think everyone has a reddit
Yeah, I think I think it's like every single show. Yeah, it's like I always say reddit is like a
Like a biker bar that you're not supposed to go in, unless you're like a part of it.
Oh, that's funny.
Because you'll walk in and everybody will go,
the fuck you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Yeah.
You know, you're just like, ooh, my bad, sorry.
He's so funny.
It's dark in here.
That's what it is, it's dark, yeah, it's what it is.
They just, they had this like secret underground
of like just darkness.
I just like, how's it be cool to be part of a club?
It is what it is.
I mean, it's like, it's part of our society, but you know like like like I don't even go on X or Twitter anymore
I don't have it on my phone. Yeah, I just do it at home if I'm not posting
Tivity on there. I I don't care. I just I don't go on it really yeah
I'm kind of like you know what and I'm gonna go on his Instagram the only The only one I go on is Instagram. The only one. The only one.
I mean, I don't, sometimes I'll comment back
that just recently I've been doing that,
but I don't really.
Me too, I've been coming back lately too.
Mostly all positive, like I posted a picture
of Tiger absolutely crushed.
Oh yeah, yeah, I saw that, dude.
Everyone's been super cool.
I'll comment on that.
And then one guy at Drive Fast All Gas,
has its own handle. Some guys are like, I can't believe people keep hiring this guy and drive fast all gas you know has its own handle
Some guys like I can't believe people keep hiring this guy as a spokesman. I don't get it man
How'd you keep getting deals? I was like you know what I got time today. I went. I only company you fucking idiot
He's all all right my bad so weird people are I put on the real Instagram Nick oh
I got a funny one somebody look at this fucking yak look at this
To
Get you some crazy how old is he nine nuts?
This slides pretty dope too, and then how about the throw from fucking outfield that kid has a arm, but then t-slides
Get to look at him. He's there sliders
One is the game bottom the the six, in the playoffs.
Wow. Number one seed, just beat him.
Wow. Oh, wait.
Wow, we going pro.
We going pro.
Oh, yeah.
I'm about to retire.
And you're gonna be a great little league dad.
Oh, yeah.
What's that coach the Yankees?
Last game got hostile, the man.
Parents talking shit to each other. You know what's that? Okay Yankees last game got hostile the man parents talking shit to each other. You know, what's great
It's great to your son is actually great because when you're in the stands now people could be like
Because if your kid was trash and you're in the stands it'd be like space jam
You gotta be like this you gotta be like
When your kids have a bad game and he's fucking up it's so embarrassing
You don't think everybody's like you you know they're probably not be like
Yeah, but these like some like come on TV, please dude. I need this for me
Somebody's some dads and they could be terrible. Oh, bro. They can be terrible.
Oh, man.
I remember I coached like a little league,
a basketball, like a park league, you know?
My friend asked me to do this park league thing
and the dads were just, like the guy wanted to fight me.
Oh, there's nothing, baseball dads are insane.
I've been told this.
Yeah, yeah.
I told this one dad.
Oh, right, you were, yeah.
This kid is trash, you know what I mean?
So, you know what I mean?
I have to, like, what are you supposed to do? You know what I mean? It's just crazy how, and then the yes kid is trash. You know what I mean, so you know I mean I have to like what are you supposed to do?
Right, you know I mean, it's just crazy how and then the ref wanted to fight. You know I was like this is crazy
I'm never coming back to call timeout was like everyone needs to chill. This is rec
Everyone chill the fuck yeah, like you're not helping the kids out
Yeah, I'll call the dads out though like this one day
I kept you on that is at his son who's on our team throw the ball harder
I went but let me talk you think he's not
trying to throw hard right right right what are you doing dude you're putting more
stress on him yeah like let him do his thing dude and then what did the guy say
he's like oh you're right man two plays later throw it hard right right
fuck it yeah there should be a Netflix knock on baseball day it's funny wild I
know wild shit well there's a that's a whole term for it.
Little league dad is a term for it.
That's why people, they get crazy,
they try to live vicarious through them.
It's always the dads who didn't play
that are usually the issues.
Dads who don't have any experience in athletics
are by far the worst.
And the moms are bad too, but the dads are wild.
Wait, wait, the dads are bad,
but the dads at least it's about the sport.
I used to have a joke about this
because I used to coach basketball
and the moms, this is how a mom will come at you.
The mom will be like,
Coach, how come my kid isn't playing?
It was $75 for the team shoe.
That's the kind of things moms come with.
Moms come with, you're like,
well, I mean, there's other reasons
why your kid isn't playing.
Yeah, everyone paid for the shoes.
He's just not very good.
Coach, that other kid you got playing,
he don't even know who his dad is.
I'm like, well, that's not why I,
imagine if that's how you picked the team.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh my God.
But you have some wild, wild mom stuff, man.
This dude's great, I've seen him.
Oh yeah, I've seen this.
I'm not bending over no more.
You hear me? Throw, I said seen this. This would be Eric if he ref'd.
Just lost swag.
I couldn't ref. Being a ref is like being a waiter.
And dealing with somebody's attitude, I wouldn't do it.
He did the same thing two times in a row, dribbled right into the damn trap.
I look right at him, bro, same thing.
I'm like, he's coming at me.
I'm like, wow.
Now this guy was born and raised in Malibu, right?
Yeah.
Now he seems like a good dude.
Yeah.
Most DMs are cool too, but in the parents,
it's fucking, it's crazy, dude.
It's crazy.
Yeah, it's tough.
I don't know what I'm gonna do
when that kind of shit goes down.
I, I, I.
But I, yeah.
I know, yeah, I know. But I'm already I'm like I was coaching basketball
I remember this it was summer league and this dad
Like this kid didn't show up for the summer league game and we only had like six players
Right, you know and then he came back the next day. I said what happened? He was like while it's punishing him
I said, okay
Pushing the whole team. Listen, I didn't play his kid the whole game. He was like, what happened?
I said, oh well, you punished him for what he did to you.
But he missed the game and let his team down.
So now it's my punishment.
Correct.
You know, that's how I was with that shit.
But it's also, wait till it's your kid.
That's where it's different.
If you're a coach, it's so different.
But I remember this.
Like he would be like, dad, why don't you let him
and I catch him on my, I don't know him. I don't care if he catches the ball. He's not it's different. If you're a coach, it's so different. Like he'll be like, dad, why don't you let him for a night and catch a mom?
I'm like, I don't know him.
I don't care if he catches a whole ball.
He's not you, dude.
Well, I mean, if you have a good community,
but it's tough.
But I'm saying parents have a whole weird,
when I was coaching high school,
this kid, this mom came up to me.
I love talking about it on stage,
because it's so ridiculous.
Because she was like, coach, what are we gonna do
about his grades this year?
Oh yeah, I know this bit.
But I said we?
Like, you have a homeroom teacher,
six teachers, a guidance counselor,
and the, you?
How about from two to five,
I work on free throws and layups,
and you take care of everything else?
Eric's the wrong one to come at that shit with.
Oh, not the one.
Not the one. He's a black lady. Yeah at that shit with. Oh, not the one. Not the one.
He's a black lady.
Yeah.
Yeah, he turns up on the black side.
Oh, and that's when these black moms come at me.
I'm like, I know how to, I know how to.
Yeah, what's, you wanna.
Are we doing this?
Yeah.
Are we doing this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
But also, Tigers outgrown me.
That's the sad thing.
I have bossy with, like, I can't even pitch
as hard as I can to T anymore.
He just crushes the ball.
Wow.
They're like, come on dad,
I'm like, you ain't ready for this, bro.
I'm throwing at 50%.
And just like, poosh.
Just Darren Dalton, just the next Darren Dalton.
That's great, man.
He had a drug problem.
Well, I hope, like on the field.
You gotta plunk him, move him off the plate.
Yeah, I try man, he's just fucking good.
But that's what everybody wants.
I mean, that must be a great feeling though.
I mean, you're a sports guy, you know?
And then now your son is like great at this thing.
I mean, that's like, you know what I mean?
Nothing better, nothing better.
You know, so, good for you.
He's gonna have to get his shit together.
In Texas, he's playing with older kids, we'll see.
Be good for him.
Yeah, better it happen now than like, you know,
not making the team, like, you know? Right, you know, not making the team like, you know.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, competition, yeah.
That's...
Yeah.
Competition's what it's all about.
Wow.
I used to love that shit.
When I was playing, I made up things to like,
get mad about stuff.
I remember, did I tell you guys I went to big man camp?
No.
Yeah, listen. What the fuck is that? Because I went to Big Man Camp? No. Yeah, listen.
The fuck is that?
Because I went to a small high school.
So at six, three, I was tall in my school, okay?
So I was like, the coach was getting on me about stuff
and I was like, fuck this.
I said, I found a thing, I said,
Ma, I need to go to Big Man Camp.
So I went to Big Man Camp.
My God, that's the first time I felt like Casey.
You know what I mean?
I was like, it was like six, 10, seven footers and shit.
They were like, little man.
We were doing like five on five,
little man bring the ball up.
I was like, little man, bitch, I'm a sinner in my school.
Wow.
Just nuts in your ass.
Yeah, it was like, it was crazy.
That's when I knew I was like,
oh, I don't know if like I like the competition. I like you know, but I was like, oh, I'm I'm never gonna be there
Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean? I'm never gonna be this. Yeah, but it was fun
No, let's get a tiger. I show them videos of nine-year-olds in Cuba and shit
Oh, I'm like this so you're competing with right because these white boys are gal about saying shit. They're trying to get their families out
Yeah, that's Because these white boys are galabasas ain't shit. They're trying to get their families out of that
Dude vine for the same spot. Yeah, you should tell them to get a good side again. You want to get us out of Texas you gotta
Brennan's like get they're trying to get their kids out of Cuba and their whole family out of Cuba
Don't let them
It's up to you
That's the Republican way
At their own game basically these fucking guys infiltrating America.
Basically, Tiger's border security.
Do it for the border every time you like.
Oh, this little kid's great.
Does Tiger have this much flair?
No.
You gotta get his flair together.
I'd kill him.
What do you mean?
This is good. No, you'll hear him
Oh, this little dude's filthy with it
Let's get his monster
Oh my god, is that Dan is that Dan Marley Dan Marley he's shooting far away to get Dan Marley jr. Oh
This kid, yeah Marley Jr. Oh, this kid.
What is he, four?
Third grade.
He's got the look on his face.
This is crazy.
What's crazy about this,
this is the age we live in now.
Like by the time this kid gets to high school,
he's gonna have like five million followers.
You know what I mean? Endorsement deals and stuff. He'll be a Gatorade athlete.
Look at him. Well this kid's annoying. You gotta have one of those on every team.
I quit. I quit. This is where I quit. I'm third grade I see this kid I go
I'm not fucking I don't want to be around this. I'd trip him or some shit. Oh wow.
I just go, I'll be funny.
I went to one football practice when I was in high school.
Wow, this kid is fucking, who the hell are his parents?
Jason Williams.
Yeah.
Oh my God, he dunks, he just fucking dunks.
And it's like,
Like, here bud.
Like Sean Kemp.
Like this one, he does this one. I I love all of Chris's references are 35 years old
They were current when they when I knew about them
Fucking hell, I love this. I bet when he gets on the field he'd be like drew blood. Soe Have you guys ever seen that kid? What's his name? The little music kid? He's like seven years old
Yeah miles miles. I mean this kid is like when you look at him
You just look at your own kid and go you're gonna get your fucking shit
I've seen this kid is amazing.
How old is he?
He was seven. He's probably like nine by now.
Oh my God. He's just a savant. I can't even point to pitch it down. Oh my god.
He's just a savant. I can't even point to is... It's fucking right there!
That's not how you brush your teeth. I wanna hear this song.
That's not how you brush your teeth.
Oh my god.
Bro, if that was my kid, I'd be like, yeah, I'd like to see you trying to stand up, bro.
I'm still the man of the fucking house.
Okay, so the lyrics aren't good.
But he's still nine.
And he's also matched other pop songs.
I know, I'm kidding. What if he was...
But he goes to places like, they take him to like, amazing studios with big time-time, you know, and he just knows it's just
But there's a but there's another there's this other little girl who's a DJ Wow, I gotta find it and she just
She's just sitting in front of the things. Yeah, and she's doing this, you know
That shows you how easy it is, but she's like nobody she's like doing all this stuff
She's like a little girl and I'm like, this is like, you know, I just.
It might be their peak though.
That's what you gotta worry about as a parent.
This might be the peak.
Yeah, I know, I know.
That's, yeah.
You don't want them peaking at nine.
I know.
You're having a mustache and shit.
Yeah, this is the girl right here.
Look, look at, you got all this equipment.
She can't even get in the club.
This is all, all the videos are like
this you know many pedophiles are commenting on this but the debt this is
like oh I'm sure the parents run this account you know I mean it's pretty wild
but there's some of them where she's like really going in man, I'm like she's about to
Do the beat hasn't even dropped yet. Let the beat drop
Here we go, oh
This is weird, yeah, yeah, I feel weird no no but what I'm saying is like
I'm like, she likes it here's the thing though your kid is into whatever they're into. Yeah, and then they get to a part where they
Great at it like or whatever. It's like she's good like this if this is I would not be surprised though
If like a five-year she's like I want to do that DJ thing. Right, right
Right, they're kids in two months. You know, I'm over the DJ. Yeah, it's crazy
But then like but during the parents like but we're paying our bills with it
It's we got a million followers you better
Pretend you like this for 30 seconds
I remember doing this commercial where I was like a janitor in the commercial and all you don't need to brag
No, no, but it was like these kids and I'm listening to the kids talk and it's all these like a type personality kids
And I just wanted to strangle all of them because they're all like, yeah, you know, I got this
I was what they wanted me to do this television show, but I don't know to do it because you know
I got baseball or whatever it is like that. I'm just listening to them. I'm like, wow
Like I'm so grateful to be
Yeah, you know be a janitor in this fucking commercial right now
You guys are talking about like, you know, like would you let down 30,000 a month?
Would you let wolf be a child actor yeah oh interesting yeah yeah but he's he but
he's got to do good projects do it yeah show me your accent son yeah but if
you're what I'm saying we're getting prosthetics I get you not wanting your
kid to do something that you think is like whatever but if they want to do it
isn't it better that you're
Isn't it better that you're... Pro...
That's great.
Isn't it better that you're there...
Is it better that you're there to help him?
You can't get doing this.
No, I love it.
That actually happened even.
I have to call this guy to update everything.
That was just a joke.
That's so funny.
That's great.
I'm going to be in Regina.
Saskatoon Winnipeg.
What if Tiger or Boston wanted to be a UFC fighter?
You know?
You would discourage it, but what if they wanted to do it?
Yeah, you have to...
I don't want to do it.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. China, Saskatoon, Winnipeg. What if Tiger or Boston wanted to be a UFC fighter?
You know?
You would discourage it, but what if they wanted to do it?
Yeah, you have to.
I wouldn't want to do it.
Yeah, I know.
You'd be perfectly suited to be like, hey.
You know what I mean?
I do.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You watch that Nickelodeon doc, though.
You don't want your kid doing that.
I know, of course.
No, no, no, what it is is you never leave your kid.
Yeah.
You're always there.
They find a way.
You're always there. A lot of those people, you're always there. They find a way.
You're always there.
A lot of those people, they're just not there.
A lot of parents, they get their kids into that stuff.
But the one kid who got molested the most,
the dad was like, I have to be on set, I have to.
And then one time he was like, you got him, right?
The mom's like, I got him.
Oh, dude, don't even say that.
The mom fucked it up?
Yeah, the mom was like, I'm gonna go on bathroom break.
And then the perpetrator was like, get him.
La Jolla Comedy Store.
Next week, May 30th, and then Helium,
and then Comedy Off, Broadway, and then July, Punchline.
And then I'm doing a bunch of dates with Rife.
So.
I'm chrislea.com, I got St. Louis, Dania,
Irvine, California, Indianapolis,
got a bunch of different places.
All right kids, dryfastholgass.com, we got a bunch of new merch on there.
We have a big sale going on from Memorial Day coming up.
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