The Greatest Generation - A Billion Cold Turkeys (TNG S1E22)

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

When the Entrepreneur’s mission is to study an exploding star, a distress signal from a nearby freighter leads to an emergency beam out. But after learning that the Brekkians are dealing drugs to the Ornarans, Dr. Crusher’s Hippocratic Oath comes up against Starfleet’s Prime Directive. How are electrocutions on the bridge like Clear and Present Danger? What are the names of the other two Ornaran ships? Why does no one want to play poker with Picard until the finale? It’s the episode that wants to elevate the elevator experience.Support the production of our shows Members get benefits including bonus episodes and an ad-free experienceSign up for our mailing list!Get a thing at podshop.biz!The Greatest Generation is hosted by Adam Pranica and Benjamin Ahr Harrison The show is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Instagram | BlueskyAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.socialSupport the production of The Greatest Generation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Want to hear an ad-free version of this show? Go to greatest.supercast.com. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage. Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranika.

I'm Ben Harrison. How you doing, Adam? I'm doing great. Doing real great. I'm like Murdoch in Rambo First Blood Part 2. A stinking bureaucrat that's trying to cover his ass. This is what I have read. Maybe a historically hot weather week happening in Los Angeles.

Another one. And another one. Get me something cold. You've got that Coke machine that you don't have to put money in because it's unlocked. You can just reach in. That was always the dream as a kid, right? Oh, yeah. To have the machine itself.

Every so often, you'd be like, wandering around in like a government building or in a hospital where your parents are visiting an elderly relative and you'd see you'd see the guy servicing the machine and you'd be like, hey man, what's that? What's up? And he would like slide you a little something. You ever get that? I never got that. No. No. If the door is open, I'm asking as a kid. Wow. I would say I had probably a 500 batting average on that. Like I think the guys servicing those machines, want to make a kid's day by letting them have a Dr. Pepper that they might not have gotten otherwise. Can I construct a different worldview for you?

Do you think that person also wants the kid to go away so that he can get back to work? You know what? I don't think that they are mutually exclusive ideas, you know? They are the same. Ben, tell me about the last time you did that because there had to be a line in your life where you're like, I am now too old to ask for a free Coke from the person who restocks the Coke machine. Yeah.

That had to be a sad day, right? I don't know. Do you still ask? I can't think of a time I've seen one getting serviced in recent memory. Like, I think that both... Has been a long time, huh? Like, we as a society have maybe taken a couple steps back from vending machine. You know, like, I feel like a lot of the time in a hotel, there's the ice and vending

sign and then you go down to the end of the hallway and you turn into that space and there is an ice machine and then there's like a gap and you can see like the outline of where the vending machine used to be. I swear this wasn't intentional, but every time we start talking about vending machines, we must also bring up the ultimate conclusion of our podcast, which is the full pivot into corner of elevator vending machine, which is the best business. idea we've ever had. We've never done better. I mean, that's where everybody is going to be. Yeah. You know, it's like, it's as smart as the, you know, inexpensive sweet treats down at toddler level at the checkout in a grocery store. Like, that is just going to hit a little bit

more often because you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. And this way, you're always taking shots, baby. The things in this corner elevator vending machine are the things that are not available in the mini bar or the fridge that weighs all the things to make sure that you don't touch them and that you accidentally buy them. Things like, I don't know, like mint and beverages that don't come in that thing? Here is the killer app, Adam. Okay. All right. You know, mini bar, like you look at that little plastic one and a half ounce Casamigos bottle. They might be taking 12 bucks from your folio if you take one of those out of that. of the minibar, right?

It's true. We've got them in the elevator for 11. Ben, I love the strategy of this, but we also have to work with these hotels. They're not going to let us take money out of their hands. This must be a symbiotic relationship, wouldn't you say?

I think you make a good point. I think we could sell them on, we're going to make it up in volume just by being slightly cheaper, and you know, they're going to take a cut of every sale, right? People love a deal or the idea of a deal. I would say that this is the kind of forward thinking that you might want to do as a rubberband man style species where everything you're doing is to service your drug trade with another planet.

You have got to be ahead of the issue of the spaceships breaking down and you've got to be ahead of the issue of the spaceships breaking down and you've got to be ahead of the issue of, uh, People in hotels wanting booze, but for slightly cheaper than in their room. I like that we are continually inspired by these Star Trek episodes in this area of new business we're trying to construct. This is good. This is good. This is good stuff. And let's see if this episode is good stuff, Adam. It's season one, episode 22.

Symbiosis. Great example of a crew learning about things as they happen that you hope happens all the time on every mission. Captain Picard gets on the PA system and he's like, hey, we are getting very close to an erupting star. And that may result in some unusual things happening on the ship. So buckle up. When we find him on the bridge after we've seen like engineering and stuff hearing his announcement, I love that he's just kind of wandering aimlessly. Like Picard, like me, is a phone pacer.

Like, if I have to take a long phone call, you're not going to find me in one spot. I'm wandering all over the fucking place. And that's Picard's deal. Stay sharp, everyone. They got to get really close to this star, and it's going to be messy for ship systems. And so, like, a lot of the conversation is, like,

everybody on the ship can hear this, but this is primarily for the benefit of engineering, because you guys are going to have to really have your shit together, give us extra shields, extra everything. It hits like an internet service provider, sending an email to a customer going, hey, we're doing some maintenance work in your neighborhood. Just get ready for some disruption.

Yeah, yeah. We pivot from disruption to eruption as they start watching the solar flares on this sun that they're scanning. I feel like Riker in particular envies the eruption prowess of this star. The violence of those eruptions is awesome. Fucking shoot. Do you think you could go blind looking through the view screen at something like this? Because there's a moment in this scene where they very clearly put eclipse sunglasses on the view screen to make it more tolerable.

Is that because you could go blind looking at a star through the view screen? I have to imagine that the view screen is a source. screen and not a window, right? Like, it's a window on like Newtrek, right? Like, occasionally the glass breaks and somebody blows out through it on Newtrak. But wouldn't you want the highest fidelity visual on the view screen if it's not a window? And wouldn't it be at such a high resolution that it could make you blind? I remember being really impressed the first time I watched something that was in HDR on a TV that could do 4K HDR. and like a night scene and like a car drove past the cameras.

And I was like, wow, those headlights are bright like car headlights. Amazing. And that's my head canon of what this is. Like I think it's like it's uncomfortable relative to the other light in the room. It's not ever going to actually hurt you. Do you remember the last time it hit for you like that? Because I feel like that's been blown out of my eyes. Like I haven't had a moment like that in a long time watching a television.

a movie. It's something I've gotten like in screenings on film. Like I've seen a couple of movies projected on film in the last 12 months. I saw one battle after another and the Odyssey both projected in their preferred formats. And that really hits for me. But yeah, like those first weeks with that TV experience were like, this is changing everything. And now it's like, yeah, what else is new? in the same way that like DVDs and HD just became the norm after a while, you know? Very bright. It goes from very bright to sunglasses bright. And data reports that what they're seeing is indeed unusual,

but what's even more unusual is that Wesley Crusher Station is all staticy and electrocuted and he backs away before it gets him. His BitTorrent application has crashed the system, And he's like, oh, it's probably X-rays from this star, right? Ben, we've seen characters electrocuted before on this show, for many episodes even. Yeah. You'll look at Wesley Crusher's hairdo, which seems differently styled than it is normally. Why couldn't we give him the hair standing up on end electrocution scene that he seems to be begging for with the way that his hair is shall act?

Do they have an intention as a production of making these electrocutions pretty mild so that the later electrocutions are scarier? Right. It's like that scene in clear and present danger. Like you start low to give yourself a place to go. Like was Wesley Crusher electrocuted? Yeah. I mean, of course he was. Was he electrocuted badly? Certainly. I mean, was he electrocuted to the maximum degree? agree? Well, yeah, I mean, his hair stuck up. Rocketed across the bridge. Yeah, nowhere else to go. Full wire jerk stunt, you know? So maybe in season four we can look forward to some more wirework there with the electrocutions. Tension is mounting among the crew, according to emotional bloodhound, Deanna Troy. On the best one you ever sing.

But we've got to get closer. And Picard gets back on the one MC to basically tell a ship full of people. who are on the left side of the plane that we are flying past the Grand Canyon and it's just north of us. Sorry. But we are getting a splendid view of this phenomenon. If the Grand Canyon was also ejecting plasma into the sky.

Nobody else can look at this, right? Because they don't have the dot on their window, you know? That's a great point. Just then, a distress signal. They have to listen to it. but it's from a freighter trying to get help. They don't have time for this, do they? They're so close to getting,

I'm going to guess, scientifically significant data from the coronal ejections and so forth. They don't want to leave, right? They don't, but this guy is not close to the star. He is actually in orbit of the fourth planet and trying to broadcast his distress signal to the third planet, strangely.

And Picard's like, okay, yeah, anything we can do to help. Yeah, there is some resentment here as Picard orders the ship to change course and intercept this thing to mount a rescue. They don't know anything about this freighter, but it's an old-class freighter. Very old. And its orbit is decaying. There is barely any urgency on the Enterprise as they approach this ship. and ask what kind of assistance they might be able to provide.

And it feels a little weird until you get back on the view screen, the very static view screen with the guy on this ship. And he is also not in a hurry. He does not seem super preoccupied with the decaying orbit of his ship. It's a great example of behavioral mirroring, right? Like, who's taking hints off of whom? Frater, we're going to lock on the track to, beam and pull you out of orbit. Hey, that's great. You take like a psychology 101 course in college

and they tell you like you want to freak people out, get on an elevator and face the back. Like nobody's expecting that and it will make them deeply uncomfortable. But what they're not anticipating is that in one of those back corners, there's a vending machine. I'm seeing the commercial, Ben, or the print ad for this thing right now. Right. We got to to get in some in some like hotelier trade rags like whatever Steve Hilton reads. Yeah, you know, on the way into the office. I feel like this could be a premium hotel offering, like a four-season style hotel where the stuff is like really nice and good. How about this? Like a cruise ship where you get your like drink pass that like entitles you to a certain amount of stuff. Like when you're on the

website booking your room, there's like a little upgrade you can select for like get five. things out of the elevator vending machine every day. Oh, that sounds so good. And you use your key card to blurp it? Why not? Yeah. We have the technology. Hey, we're ready to take meetings about this.

If you are Steve Hilton or similar, give us a call. I am the cutest of all. There are four lights. Data has scanned this bad ship and is like, this is so dumb. Like, they just need to, you know, bonk the side of the thing. The coil is just a little bit out of alignment. And they ask, like, hey, can you guys just realign that coil? Because that'll, that'll do it.

They're not so sure that anybody aboard knows how to do this. They're like, can you send us like an instruction manual or like a QR code that we can scan for a YouTube video? It's really great the line they walk in this scene about this guy being a captain. of his own ship, and the presumption that a captain of his ship knows how his ship operates, and maybe a little bit about how to repair it if it were to break, the revelation that this guy's been a captain for seven years hits especially hard, I think, too. Like, what have you been doing, man, for seven years? You can't even do the basic stuff? Shouldn't everything about this interaction have prepared them for the packlids?

Yes, yep. Ben, let's bell curve this out a little bit. Okay, okay. Where would you find the Pachlids and where would you find the Ornarians on that curve? On the dumbness, don't know shit curve? Yeah, exactly. I mean, they're definitely like lowest quartile, the Ornareans. I think that the Pachlids are like, you know, single digit percentile.

Right, right. I mean, I think the bits are good, right? The Ornarean guy goes like, yeah, you know, I allow. a coil in the main shuttle bay a little while ago, but I don't know how to do this one. For some reason, knowing that this thing is going to slip into the atmosphere and explode in, I think it was checked verbally, like less than two minutes, Riker's like, I'll go over there and fix it. What? What? I think Rikers starting to get a little charge out of going on to ships that explode moments before he materializes back on the Enterprise Transporter pad.

Yeah, I think so too. No, he's not going to do that. Instead, the move is to transport them off the ship. That's a good plan B, isn't it? The issue is, like, all of the interference that made tractoring these guys not work that is making, talking to them so difficult, is also going to affect the transporter. So it's a real transport as we say, not as we do. Why don't you guys beam over here instead of us beam over there?

and they start to get ready for this as the star kicks out even more electromagnetic bursts. And Yara is in the transporter room trying to tie their transporter into the one on the Arnaran ship. And she's like beyond annoyed in the way of like a busy barista trying to say the Wi-Fi password a third time to a annoyed customer. Did you say 286 or 886? Mark 2.68. Got it. It is like that. And Tasha Yarr is the barista and the busser and the accountant and all that because she just goes from appearing at tactical to appearing in the transporter room doing this job too.

In my mind, Ben, I think you got to keep Tashyar around. She's a character that does so many things. we got to at least keep her on this show for a couple of seasons to find out the whole scope of work she can do she's like a leatherman multi-tool you know like there are the obvious plier-based tasks that she is very helpful with but there's so many other things she can do she can tighten up a loose screw in a you know a light switch panel She can help you like shred some Tinder if you need to start a fire in the bush. Yeah, you know who started a fire in her bush. Up top.

It never happened. These guys transport the cargo first, which you never do, you know. This is like a plane, soft crashing in an airport and passengers wanting to take their luggage with them. What are you doing? What I was going to compare it to is like in an emergency in a building like a hotel, you advise not to take the elevator. But, you know, if there's a vending machine in there, you might want to just to like get a little something to tide you over while you're waiting for the fire department to do their business up there. Because when you're evacuating a hotel, you're not bringing your bag. Right.

Maybe you want to get some essentials in the elevator on your way down to the larby. You know what? It's 2 a.m. You're cold. You're in your pajamas on the street in front of all. of these other bleary-eyed hotel guests, wouldn't a Toblerone hit like a motherfucker right now? I wouldn't know because, uh, as, as you know, Ben, I am, uh, an admitted non-hotel evacuator. You are. Yeah. You're, your, your willingness to evacuate is, uh, only matched by my

willingness to talk to Jonathan Frakes on an airplane. Yeah. Picard eyes to commercial when we hear about the cargo coming first. And when we come back, he kind of like restates how stupid this is, just in different terms. And then we energize again. And only four of the six occupants of the ship make it out. What a moment. Riker greets with his condolences, these four folks.

and also brings a little bit of browbeating to bear about, you know, we could have gotten all of you if you didn't do the whole cargo snafu thing with us. The thing about it is you got to clear the pad before you do the next transport. So what we had to do is unconnect from your transporter, transport the cargo down to the cargo hold, because I'm not picking that thing up, and then reconnect and then beam you over. It took a long time. Two guys died, and they're like, but where's the cargo?

I think we've known a long time that there is a right way to give condolences. In none of those lists of tips, is there a also include your criticisms about the manner of death and whether or not there were choices that could have been made to maybe change the outcome of that death? Were the deads Ornarens or Breckians? It seems like they were Ornarens, right? but we never told I don't think

if they were Ornarens you're definitely not getting a whiff of oh good more for us that I think once the revelation is made later in the episode you might have presumed to begin here in the cargo hold

they go pay a visit to this cargo and the two alien parties get in a great big argument over whether the contract has been completed the Breckians are like we gave you the drugs, you didn't give us the goods. And the iron irons were like, we did give you the goods.

It was on that ship that we all had to beam out of. And we beamed the drugs away because it's ours. If you're maybe watching this in a country whose language is not yours, and you're just looking at this visually and not getting any of the dialogue, you can tell that two of these aliens are wealthy and well-off. And the other two are sort of tweaky farmer types, like down to the overalls made out of seersucker material. The Ornarin costumes definitely did a lot to inspire the various pores that they encounter in lower decks specifically, I think. Absolutely, yeah.

They don't look as well bathed as the Breckians. And, yeah. It's like a real, like, Ian Nasir has substandard copper ingots kind of argument that they're having here. And it quickly devolves into an electricity fight where the lady very easily overpowers the taller of the two Ornarens. but Judson Scott looks like he's on the verge of prevailing when Yarr shoots him.

I really wonder when you've got Radin versus Raiden in a battle like this, what is the thing that makes one person stronger than the other? Is it that one hasn't had the drug in a while

so therefore they're weaker with the electricity? Is it youth slash age? What exactly gives anyone the upper hand, I wonder. How recently one of them has had a bath might factor into it. Yeah. I also wondered if

it's like, you know, certain video games, like you'll have like, oh, this is like a water powered guy and so he's particularly lethal to electricity powered guys. You're convincing me that this could be a mega man situation here.

It could indeed. They get taken by a security detail. up to the observation lounge where when we catch up with them later it's clear that they've just been sitting here arguing with each other for a long time but we follow Yaron Riker down a hallway

just going like yeah man pretty shitty that they have weapons built into their biology like how do you disarm that? We should reiterate Ben because you rightly described how crazy it was that this group was just taken to the observation lounge, they got into a fight that had to be broken up with a phaser, and no one got

sent to the brig. They should be behind fields, you know, in an episode where they do give voice to the, we can't let these idiots on the bridge. Yeah. They should be behind fields. Ben, the most ridiculous extra I have ever seen in my life is in this corridor scene starting. Like, the sequence is like, the camera is a little wide, and it's showing some extras. cross back and forth before Tasha R and Will Riker round the corner and walk toward the camera.

But the moments before Tasha and Riker walk through, there is this fucking guy who seems like he's doing an impression of someone walking. It is totally nuts. Sounds like me in every student film I was ever cast in. That's what this guy is doing. Yeah. It is like he's recovered from a, from a terrible spinal injury and has like just gotten up for the first time and is crossing the frame. It's amazing. You can hear the first AD go,

action background. Wait, no, cut, cut. Not like that background. Back to one. Ben, they got this in one. There is no way they did a second take of this. This guy is very distracting. On the bridge, there's a little like,

what's up with the people of this system? What do we know about them? And there has been almost no contact with these guys. There was an observation of them 200 years ago in the log books. But it doesn't seem like either people have advanced much past what was observed back then. Troy is like, again, like these guys beamed over their stuff first and they're not sad. None of them are sad about the two people that went down. in a blaze of glory as the sanction, which is the name of their ship, burned up in the atmosphere.

I love the name of it. No one thinks to question the name of this ship. Interesting. Like sanctioning body, like the Marquess of Queensberry? Or are we talking about sanctioned like Russian oligarch can't access his bank account sanction? It's good to have this moment where it's clear no one knows anything about this culture. So Picard and Riker and Riker and Data go visit these prisoners in the observation lounge. And it's clear the Arnarians are desperate to have their two remaining freighters fixed up and operational. Like, this feels life or death to them. Easy to do.

Picard's happy to do it and tasks some engineers with that project. You must fix our freighters named punishment and even greater punishment. We do have one that's, you know, in Dry Dock right now. We can't get it off the ground called curb stomp. And if you have some extra parts, it would be great to get that one going, too. Punishment and punitive, the names of our remaining freighters. Like all of the great Solomonic Picard moments, he's like, I don't care about your dispute.

Solve it amongst yourselves with whatever mechanisms you traditionally would use. and they prevail on him to jump ahead of the cue on that because they're like, this is actually a matter of life or death. You need to get us the medicine that we beamed over because we're hurting, man. First time it's referred to as that, and that seems to be something that moves the needle a little bit here. What you got to know about the Felicia medicine is that the Breckians, claim that this stuff is very difficult and expensive to cultivate,

so they can't just give it away, no matter how badly the Onarians need it. It's like saffron, you know? There's only like two of them per plant, little tiny guy. You know, a little goes a long way. You can make a lot of rice really lovely with just a sprinkle. But again, it's not easy to get. And the payment is all of the stuff we need. And, you know, like we sympathize with these guys.

They've got this plague. And I love how it kind of washes over Picard and Riker in the same moment. Like, wait a second. These guys are sick. You and Tujon carrying this plague. Yes. Oh, shit. Are we going to have to fucking quarantine ourselves in the observation lounge with these assholes?

I love the very natural push away from the conference room table that Picard does. when this revelation hits as if a few more inches is going to make a difference. And he's pissed. Rightfully so. It sucks to bring aboard people who might have a plague.

I also just love the dialogue about like, man, yeah, there was a lot of interference when the transport happened so the medical scanner that is a routine part might not have gone perfect when we did that.

Oh, man. Let's get the doctor up here. It's funny how in dialogue They called the doctor there, but the very next scene is in Six Bay, because Six Bay is for scanning. And she pronounces both of the Onarians fine in health, fine in quotes, because the one guy is shivering on the biobed. The Breckians would like a word with Picard, and Crusher tells them to go kick rocks because she has stuff to discuss. And she pulls him into her office where she's like, yeah, so they're sick, for sure. But not a virus, not a bacterium, not anything I can isolate.

They're just sick. And all I can tell you is they're sick and the Breckians are total dicks. We're losing our professional detachment, doctor? Perhaps. So Picard goes to talk to the Anareans who are demanding now that the cargo be given to them. And if they aren't given that cargo, they claim that the blood will be on Picard's hands. Dr. Crusher suggests like, well, you could give him a little, right? There's no harm in that.

Picard commits in this moment to, okay, I will talk to the Breckians about maybe giving you a little bit, okay? I'll talk to the Breckians about doing that cool thing where they take out their leathermen and drop the knife into the packet and then like take a little and rub it on their gums just to see if it's the real shit. I can't feel my face. You know, inaction is also a choice, and Picard is being kind of forced to decide because these guys say that they are on the brink of death. And so he's going to go talk to them. And what he finds are two super chilled out Breckians drinking some orange juice and not worrying about a thing in the state rooms that they've been set up with. This is very early check-in at the hotel vibes that they've got right here. Oh, look, they even gave us a free fruit tray. Isn't that nice? Like, I didn't even know we had status at this hotel. Ever since I got that Amex Platinum, like when you check into this brand of hotel, they'll let you get one tap from your room key on the elevator vending machine. It's awesome. You can see it, can't you? Now we're weaving it into the loyalty programs available in these places.

You know, if you work for Chase Sapphire or, you know, MX points, get in touch. We want to, like, start to work our way into that system so that your customers can really feel value for their $600 annual credit card. You know what people really love, Ben. People really love lounges. People are really driven crazy by the idea of getting into them and being prevented from going into them. Here's it I'm going to sell you on, Ben. what if every elevator becomes a lounge because of the corner vending machine? Well, yeah, man.

You're in. There you go. He's like, hey, so I'm going to give up for that which longer nurse has the disease. He's like, hey, so I'm going to give these guys some pills, but I do want to make sure you guys are cool with it because, you know, there's some dispute over whose property the pills are. what do you think? And they're like, well, as a show of good faith, we'll give them each one dose. But we want to be there when you crack the canister open. In the cargo bay, we see the canister cracked open. And this philicium is opened up and administered. And we see the works being demonstrated here. This is really strong stuff. That's what we learn in this scene.

It is highly concentrated. And Dr. Crusher is so close. close to solving this mystery right here in this moment. There are a lot of questions coming from Crusher as they do all of the little ritualistic pulling out of the lentil and putting it into the tray and describe their incredibly elaborate hydroponic grow-op that they're running. And they're like, so it just treats the symptoms, but doesn't cure the plague and everyone needs to take this. and data like pipes in with like uh i bet you guys are just generally really good at like

refinement as a manufacturing process and they're like nope this is all we do yeah a single industry incredible and this relationship frees up the breckians to do whatever they want the arnarians are there to do every single job that's possible to be done on their planet a real service culture, I think. It is. We get to see the other side of the dose administration in Six Bay while Crusher watches. And the thing I never noticed was how detailed the like brass fitting on the end of their little injector was. It's like, this didn't show up in SD. Like they didn't have to go this hard with these props, but they look so good. They also didn't have to share the needle. You don't like seeing that either.

Right in Six Bay, you know? Yeah. But Crusher does that all the time. She's using the same hypo on a bunch of different people. You're right. You don't have to change the little beak on it at all. You use the same thing. You know what is something that is truly aspirational about the Federation depicted in Star Trek

the next generation is that they have somehow figured out a way to do away with all of the single-use plastic items that are attendant to every medical. visit. Just like so much stuff gets thrown away nowadays. But in the future, you can just reuse needles. No problem. You know, Ben, there was a transition period there where patients were feeling pretty uncomfortable with the idea of whatever's on the tray, not being sterilized for your protection. You're telling me that otoscope has been in someone else's ear and you're not popping the little cone off and putting a new one on? I mean, there's a very big show of that when you go to the doctor.

They show you the new cone. They show you the cone dispenser. I love seeing that cone. You know where else you can get a cone dispenser in an elevator above a vending machine that also sells soft serve, Ben. Soft serve ice cream cones in the elevator. What? Fuck yeah! You know, you can't get that in a room at a...

at a minibar, only in the elevator. Only in the elevator. Well, seeing this is pretty much all she needs to go report to Picard in the ready room. This is drugs. It's just drugs. They're just drug dealers and drug users. That's what we're talking about here. Beverly Crusher is like, you remember that vacation we took and the waterfall and the, you know,

the resort and all that? Remember that stuff you took and how it made you feel? But that was a little blue diamond, not a red circle. The two tweakers in my six bay looked a lot like that when they were taking the drugs we gave them. On the bridge, Riker and Data have come up with a little history lesson for Picard. I guess they must have gotten this off the computer on the, or an iron ship before it went down or something. Anyways, back in the day, 200 years ago, when Starfleet first encountered these guys, they were like, there's kind of the Lenny species over here, the Breckians.

And then there's the Ornarens who are like more of a George. Like they got business brains. They're they got schemes and they're doing really cool stuff until they got sick. And then suddenly the Lenny's come in with a cure for the plague. And it seems as though what happened is that they cured that thing with the first round of doses. Like, Felicia M. But it was also profoundly addictive. And the way it's been set up for 200 years is the Breckians sell this to the Ornarens.

And the Ornarens get high as shit and do all of the backbreaking labor of producing everything that both species need to live and survive. The formula to a species backstory, I think, is one of the most crucial. things to get right when you're breaking a Star Trek story. And I think the detail about the reversal of fortune here between these two species is so important in getting you onto the side of this being so unfair. It's unfair without that detail. It's like, fuck, man. Like, it's real, your society will adapt to service hours kind of energy. But the way that it went down being so manipulative is the extra bit of business that makes this feel especially awful. And it's so important to include that here. I think you just need to cram this backstory with as much of that

as possible. Because the one-two punch is how unfair this seems and how satisfied Picard is that this is something that they cannot touch. Like, we have no jurisdiction here. We cannot influence what's happening in this system. This is the first, of many scenes where Picard is just eating a sandwich during an information dump like this, and you really wonder why. Like, how hungry is he? Yeah. And, like, why is he eat it so messy?

They never give you any napkins in this place. What am I supposed to use? Dr. Crusher has an interesting proposition here. She's like, we could make foliosium to get them clean, like, to get them off of the lentil pipe. But Picard says it is not their role to interfere. at all. And that would constitute an interference that they can't do. That would be imposing our values on their lifestyle.

Hands are tied now. You shut me down. Well, in this case, Captain, I disagree. 100%. Isn't Dr. Crusher stronger about her pushback here than in any other moment on the show? She, and does it publicly. She's very upset with Picard, like, through the rest of the episode. Bye, by the Lair.

Save it full the ready room. They get another phone call. This one is from a leader on the Ornaran planet who is just as strung out as the other Ornarens we've met. Really wants to know where his guys are with their drugs. And they're like, yeah, yeah, we're working it out. You can probably see them pretty soon. This is the moment where it's clear they don't want these folks on the bridge at all. So they're like, yeah, we'll take this call over in the Arnaran guest quarters.

Maybe if you guys had taken some baths, you know, we could have you on the bridge, but yeah, kind of trying to keep up appearances around here. When Picard and Riker and Data leave, there's this side conversation. This is the after-school special moment where Wesley has this very innocent question about drugs. And from Tasha Yard's reaction, Ben, you can tell that there was a time. Oh, there was a time when Tasha Yard could party. She partied so hard because the amount she knows about drugs feels hard-earned, doesn't it? It does.

What Denise Crosby pours into her performance of these lines is like, boy, oh boy, can drugs make you feel good. And I know as the adult in the room that I have to say the escape it provides from poverty and deprivation is not real, But honestly, like, even if you're not impoverished, like, kid, everything in moderation, let's just say. Even data has to cringe at the end of this scene. They don't have to whip Pan down to him. But, like, you can see over his shoulder, he looks back up and he's like, what the fuck was that about? I mean, I think this is so interesting in the context of, you know, the Reagan drug wars that it comes out in. Like this scene is the one part that really feels like just say no.

But the rest of the episode is about systems and, oh yeah, like we, we prosecute Feliciaum crimes with 10 times as much punishment as other kinds of drugs because it's more likely that Ornarens will do it and stuff like that. It really feels like it is an episode that is smarter than this scene. When we cut over to the Arnaran guest quarters, we pick up that FaceTime with Margin on screen again, where he reiterates how desperate he is to get that Felicium. But when the FaceTime ends, Picard apologizes to Dijon here as if maybe there was a scene that we didn't get. Like, did he die on camera and maybe that part was edited out? I don't know what Picard's apologizing for. Before my hands are tied. I can't get involved. And you guys are going to have to do some kind of legalistic process between your peoples to resolve where this medicine is going to go. And to Jean, I cannot afford to wait. So he takes Riker hostage and is screaming all kinds of crazy shit about how he wants a jet and he wants Riker to get some pizza. They just need that medicine, man. I think once you've put Jonathan Frakes in a stasis field in the Echo Papa episode,

I think you're just itching to get him into a condition like that again. And when Tijon puts his electric hands onto him, he does get kind of contorted into that facial expression, right? I love it. He's so good. Yeah. Picard's not going to negotiate with terrorists, though. That's because he knows Dijon is not a killer. It is a hell of a gamble with Riker's life on the line, isn't it? He really plays some poker with this guy.

Is this why no one wants to play poker with Picard until the series finale? They're like, that guy is going to win every time. They're like, you were always welcome. I mean, to the ones we told you about. They like tell them about all the poker games that are like when they know he has other shit that he has to do. That's the right way to do it. So Riker is recovering from this. He's gotten his guts rearranged a little bit, but he's going to be fine.

Langorin Sobi, the Breckians, want a word with Picard. And they're like, hey, good news. We've made a very magnanimous decision. We're going to front them the brick. And then they can pay us back later. Picard sees this for exactly what it is. They don't want to lose their only customers. They realize that if the Ornareans detox on

mass, their entire population goes through the process and comes out the other side realizing that they were just addicted and not actually being cured of some disease that was endemic to their population, the Breckians are going to have no business model anymore. Yeah. What they need to do is allow the narcotic to do narcotic things, the way it's been doing for thousands of years. By calling it a brick, are you calling the entire cargo of the... the Felicium, that brick? Are there three bricks?

It seems to be a lot of canisters in that, right? It seems like there is a colon blow amount of concentration here to the Felicium. Like, I have in my head an amount of drug use that a brick can provide for, but we're hearing one dose of Felicium and multiplied by how many doses are in these tubes could be administered to like millions of people, right? I would estimate $4,375 million. Thank you, Mr. Data. This is like that time I went into a dispensary

and thought I was buying two milligram mints in a little tin. And what I had actually purchased were 20 milligram mints in a little tin, but they're like smaller than an Advil, the little guys. So like, you can't really cut them up. You can't do anything with them

because it's just so concentrated, It's so powerful. You're fucked. You're just like, if you take one of them, you're just off on another planet. It's what made that run of live shows so unusual back in the day. So Picard is going to allow them to do this. You can go ahead and, you know, give it to them on a payment plan. Like, make sure that they set up Clarna on their phone before you give them the Felisium.

But they can take it with them and then pay you later. Ben, this isn't part of the game, but I do want to play a quick game with you. How would Captain Picard pronounce the word clarn. I can't even get the first syllable out. I have to affirm that we call it clara. Clarner. Clarner. Oh, man, is Beverly Crusher pissed off that he's prime directiving all of these drugs to this

society that is clearly suffering from an addiction disorder. What are you thinking, Picard? I told you about the foletium idea. There's the energy of her umbrage with Picard in this scene that is happening opposite the joy that Langer seems to take in recognizing that Picard's hands are tied and he's been eating the sandwich all along. Like, absent her smile, I think this scene hits far different. But she is loving this in a way that is so gross. Yeah, the break-ins are so brilliantly played by Kimberly Farr and Judson Scott as like just hateable assholes. And hateable assholes whose entire position you totally understand. It's like they are willing to do morally compromised things because it is the way their society gets to exist.

and that's like a total kind of person, you know? It is a fair exchange. Interesting relationship. The fun of it is that Picard has thought through all of the prime directive ramifications of the adventure because when he goes down to the cargo bay, he's like, good news, we cut a deal with the Breckians and you can take your drugs,

you just have to make sure you select a payment plan. And I would do one, you know, on the shorter term, because you'll pay less interest over time. And so they're like working on getting their APR figured out. And they're like, okay, yeah, just load the drugs and all the parts that we ordered up on the transporter pad. And he's like, not so fast. That would also be interfering in the development of a primitive culture. Because the real gift Picard is giving the Ornareans is self-sufficiency.

And that seems absurd. to both parties. I love how they both hate this. The Breckians are just as outraged as the Ornareans when it is revealed that the Ornareans are going to have to figure out how to maintain spaceships, a task that nobody believes that they are up to. I love the detail from earlier that carries forward into this moment, because we also know that the Breckians can't do it either. They're a one industry society. Remember, they're the Lenny's. They're Lenny's in shiny silver costumes. They're rich Lenny's. The thing that I love most about this episode is how little stress is on Picard's face when he has broken all of this news to them and then Beverly speaks up because he is not worried at all that she's going to give up the game.

Like the truth of the you are just addicted to something and you need to like break your addiction is not the way she puts it. You must trust you. yourselves, there are other options. She does not reveal the deception that the Breckians have been engaged in. She completely gets with his prime directive argument just by watching what he does, and he has no concerns that she will blow this for him. We will not transport the cargo ship parts, but we will transport a billion cold turkeys down with you.

I would estimate $4,375 million. Thank you, Mr. Data. Enjoy. They're doomed to planetary detox. And after they beam out, like Picard and Crusher are on the elevator. And she's like, I understand why you did what you did, but it seems so cruel. And he comes back with his argument that there may be a very painful moment in the not too distant future for the Ornarens, but I don't know that.

skipping over that part would do them any favors in the long run. And the prime directive is a philosophy that tells us that we will never be able to do the math on that kind of thing. And so we shouldn't even try. He makes such an elegant argument on behalf of the prime directive. And in terms where you see why it doesn't click together cleanly with the Hippocratic Oath, which is like very much the unspoken standpoint that Crusher has been arguing from. These two things don't work together in this moment, but the prime directive has to come first in Picard's mind.

And it just so happens to connect to his idea that suffering is an incredible teacher. Like, I think that goes unsaid in this moment, but I think it is where he is coming at it from. Yeah. Like, you're not going to learn not to touch the stove until you touch the stove. And then you know not to do it again.

So they get to the bridge and they're like, let's get out of this part of town. Pretty cutty, not really into the vibes around here. Jordy, you pick the next stop. And Jordy, like, gets out the Atlas and he's like, well, I've actually never gotten to try in and out. And there's one, like, off the highway, like a couple of stops ahead of here. What do you guys say we go get lunch?

Oh, Jordy. Free frame, roll credits. This is becoming a speech. You're the captains, though. You're entitled. I'm entitled to ramble on about something everyone knows. Ben, I got a big question for you. This episode is about addiction.

And I feel like that word gets thrown around a lot, mostly misused and exaggerated and kind of confused for things that we just like to do a lot or want to do really bad. But addictions are behaviors that result in an immediate psychological reward and a ton of negative consequences associated with that behavior. So I'm going to go out on a limb and say neither of us are addicts. But we do have patterns of behavior that we tend toward. I think we all do.

So I'm not talking about addiction here when I ask this, but I am curious about this. what do you think is your hardest pattern to break? And how do you approach working through that, you think? I think that the hardest pattern for me is the, like, the little hater inside my head. Like, the thing that is constantly making me feel guilty or undeserving of, you know, good things. Like, I think that that is like a very, a very deep neurological groove carved over many, many years and one that I have come to recognize as a deeply maladaptive mental process that I am working really hard right now on

ridding myself of. And, you know, it's it's a bit like a detox. Like it is really, really hard to go through a day and like remember to identify those thoughts when they come up as not real and not like the way I can or should think about myself given like the reality that I live in and like addiction it is not entirely my fault that that is the thing that I struggle with you know like the the thing that I think is most amazing about this episode given the time and place it was made is it casts no moral aspersions on the Ornarens. The Ornarens are not people who made big mistakes

and like deserve a shitty existence in a way that like so, so, so much of the media of the 80s about drugs was like, these are like, these are bad people on the wrong side of the law. And they're like, they don't care who they'll run over to get their fix, you know. I think it's a very compassionate episode in that way. It really is.

Compassion is like self-compassion, I think, is the core of how you get out of those bad patterns and compassion for people who are struggling to overcome those kinds of things, I think also helps a ton. So I really appreciate this episode for the way it thinks about those things and doesn't kind of fall into the tropes. and traps of its era. Yeah, good stuff. Well, Adam, you know what's always good?

And I don't care who knows it. I'm fucking hooked on. Priority one messages. I'm trying to get off priority one messages, but it's so hard. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. You need a supplemental income. Supplement.

Supplement. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone. Could be enough to buy this ship. Can't go cold turkey from promotional priority-win messages especially, Ben. This one goes like this. Cosmic Lion Productions is an independent publishing company based in L.A. Our comics are carried in all the finest comic and bookshops galaxy-wide.

From sci-fi to manga, beat-em-ups to slice of life. CLP has comics of every country. for every mind. We travel from Alpha to Delta Quadrants doing Comic-Conn's, and we may be at a station near you. This September 26th, in Providence, Rhode Island,

will be at Indie Comics Creators'Con. All FODs get 50% off. Just let us know in the most embarrassing way you can think of. So here's the call to action. Go to cosmiclion productions.com. That is spelled like the word cosmic, the word lion. and the word productions.

Thanks, Eli. We actually got to meet Eli. Random Happenstance was at the same table read of a Star Trek episode that we went to a couple of weeks ago as this airs. And he was a really friendly guy. He said to look out for an upcoming Priority One message, and here it is. There it sits. I was thinking that about Eli at that event.

There he sits in the row ahead of us. This sounds great. I know that there are a lot of Northeast FODs that would probably love to go to a Comic-Con. Providence, Rhode Island. What a town. Go join the mafia and get some great comic books from Eli at Cosmiclionsproduction.com. Mm-hmm. Here's a personal one from Natty D to Ben and Adam. It goes like this. I was at our local Femdom dungeon last night, preparing to scene with my beloved husband. A friend was unpacking her paddling slash flogging slash spanking implements from a hardcase R2D2 suitcase. We call it R2 beat you in preparation of playing with her partner. My husband blurted out, she listens to the same Star Trek podcast all day and has a complete parisocial relationship with the hosts.

How could you understand that with a ball gag in his mouth? Yeah, did it just sound like, I'm a true friend of DeSoto. I am not on the Discord at all because I am old and lazy, but I wanted to drop a line to thank you both for bringing me so much joy. Is my husband jealous of the relationship I have with two guys who should never be embarrassed

by sharing their unfettered affection for something we all love? Best wishes to the whole crew, founding member Natty D. I think we have presumed for a long time that like many many FODs socialize in the many places that they gather online it is good to remember that there are many maybe even many more FODs who don't they're just out there in sex dungeons they're not on the discord yeah and I think that the thing that is most aspirational to

me about what Natty D has told us about here today is that for some people humiliation is is highly linked to what they do in asexual context. And in this case, our show is not that for her or her husband. Got to say, I'm a little bit disappointed that it's not a part of it. That it's not a part of it. It could be, you know, but I think it would maybe go the other way. Like you're... It may be too humiliating, Ben.

Maybe Nadi D could do some stuff about how maybe, Ben and Adam like better, smarter, funnier than the little piss pig or whatever she calls. You know what? I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna guess. I'm not gonna guess. Just incredible to think about, Ben.

Listen, sorry Natty D. I didn't mean to imply anything specific, but I'm just glad that that our show doesn't embarrass you. I hope there are enough gaps in our dialogue for the slapping of the buttocks. to fit in every once in a while. Every so often the mask slips down over the ball gag and the husband notices like, why does Natty D have one air pod in?

Ben, our final priority and message is to future Clayton. It's from past Clayton. And this one has been requested of me specifically to read in the Mark Twain voice. A Mark Twain voice I have said on past episodes, past, past recent episodes. I no longer remember how to do. But we will try with this message here from Clayton. Now I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart,

but you've got being right down to an art. You think you're a genius. You drive me up the wall. Your regular original know-it-all. Oh, oh, you think you're special. Oh, oh, you think you're special. something else. Okay, so you're a rocket scientist. That don't impress me much. So you got the brains, but have you got the touch? Now don't get me wrong. I think you're all right, but that will keep me

warm in the middle of the night. That don't impress me much. Happy birthday, Future Clayton. I hope you're not single. Well, if future Clayton was coupled up before, that may all come crashing down if the lucky other person in that relationship hears about this. I must admit that this is the first time I've ever had to confront the idea that Shania Twain may be related to Mark Twain. And I'm not ready to know the answer to that question. I don't know if anyone is. you know what Adam I hope never the Twain shall meet and I hope all the folks listening

are inspired by the various messages in the inbox today to send a P1 of their own you can do it by going to Podshop.biz and clicking Priority 1 message at the top of the page really helps us cover the cost of making all this bullshit

Thanks a ton Ben we have just enough time to play a little game A game inspired by Felicium, the cause of and solution to all of the problems between the Onarians and the Breckians. And when I saw all those red lentils in those containers, I just knew I had to ask you three questions related to the lowly legume, a small but mighty power-packed protein that punches well above its weight. But will you be able to open a can of whoopass on my three trivia,

in a game I'm calling Bean or Bean No. All you have to do is answer two out of three over under style questions correctly to win. Fail to do that and you lose. And if you lose, your consequence will be to recreate one of our most popular drops using only fart sounds that you record yourself. You'll be using your mouth and your hands. These are not real farts, Ben, because that would be gross. The assignment of which drop will be made by our producer Wendy, and this will play in the Marin of our very next episode for all to hear.

Are you ready? Ready as I'll ever be, Adam. You're such a doll. Question one is about red lentils, Ben. And speaking of red lentil production, Canada, our trading partner to the north. You know, that might not be funny by the time. this comes out, but at the moment, amusing. They produce approximately what percentage of the world's lentil supply?

Is it over or under 40%? Hmm. Big, big country. Big country, big number. Big country, big number. Great trading partner. I think I could be forgiven for wondering if India just outstrips everyone in this particular agricultural stat.

But I am also thinking that it might not be remarkable enough to even bring up what Canada's production was, unless it was pretty impressive. So I'm going to guess the over. Ben, you are correct. Wow! Canada produces approximately 45% of global lentil production. Isn't that amazing?

Pretty good. Pretty good. Question two. Chickpeas are one of the most widely cultivated legumes worldwide. In a single year, global chickpea production totals approximately how many million metric tons. Is it over or under 20 million metric tons? What I'm thinking here is there are so many mouths to feed in the world and so much hummus to be manufactured. And whenever you hear about, like, how much beef is consumed or whatever, it's like kind of an unthinkable number. Yeah. I don't really have a sense about, like, what 20 million metric tons looks like. Are we talking about, like, filling up the rose bowl with...

Who could? With chickpeas. Yeah. Is this the dry weight? Or are we, like, talking about cans? You know, does the aluminum count? What's that bean liquid in there? Questions on top of questions.

You're talking to aqua-fews. Faba. Yeah, for, you know, it's like an egg white substitute in vegan baking. I'm going to guess the over again. Ben, you are wrong. Global annual chickpea production is approximately 16 to 17 million metric tons. This final question, Ben, is for all the marbles. You ready?

And it's about my personal favorite bean, the black bean. Black beans are packed with nutrients. dry black beans contain approximately how many grams of fiber per 100 grams? Is it over or under 15 grams per 100 grams of beans? This fiber, not enough of it in the American diet. Are black beans enough to make up for the deficit? Will you be making a fart drop based on your answer to this question? I guess we have to ask ourselves, are beans, in fact, the musical fruit?

And I'm going to say they are. I'm going to say that these guys have the over again. Ben, you are correct. Yeah! Dry black beans contain approximately 15 to 16 grams of fiber per 100 grams, which means you have one. Bean or bean O? Which means FODs are deprived of an,

alternate version of a hit drop made using only fart sounds. I will keep this punishment in my back pocket to deploy it another time. I personally think it could be a fun one. I mean, it sounds gross as hell, but, you know, if that's how you like to get your yayas, I guess you can keep it in your back pocket. I mean, Weird Al Yankovic has earned millions of dollars on this very same concept. So me and him. Couldn't possibly be wrong. All right, Adam. Well, that was a ton of fun, but we got to go.

We got to wrap this episode up. Here is our producer to tell you all about what's coming up next week on the show, along with our credits. Bye, bye. The Greatest Generation is an Uxbridge Shimoda podcast. It's hosted by Ben Harrison and Adam Paranica, and it's produced and edited by Wendy Pretty. Next week, we'll be back with another episode of Star Trek The Next Generation's. So make sure your post-death hologram recording is updated because it's season one, episode 23, skin of evil. Until we get there, we want to say thank you to all the members who support this show.

If you want to join them, you'll get an ad-free feed, plus a lot of great bonus episodes and other benefits. Sign up at greatesttrecht.com or just click the support link in the show notes right there in your podcatcher, and thank you for your support. Music for the greatest generation is by dark material. Social media is managed by the great Bill Tilly and the wonderful Rob Adler. Rob also puts together the greatest newsletter every month. Visit Podshop.biz to sign up for that. You can also book a P1 there or find yourself some fun merch and all of that helps support the show too.

So thanks. Follow our official social media pages on Instagram, Blue Sky and YouTube and use the hashtag Greatest Gen when you post about the show. And don't forget to subscribe to Greatest Track if you're not already because we're coming up to the End Strange New World Season 4 and the guys have had so much to say about it. But that's all for now. We'll see you next week on the Greatest Jen.

generation. Make it so. Shemoda.