The Greatest Generation - A Case of the Spaceys (S2E6)

Episode Date: May 11, 2016

When Data's grandpa is diagnosed with an incurable illness, he doesn't express much grief, and in return, his grandpa steals his body and makes a play at immortality. It would have been a perfect plan, but the old man was set in his ways, and really doesn't know how to act in a modern, professional starship setting. Will the crew catch on that Data is once again not who he claims to be? Will Data's bad behavior get him locked up in Rura Penthe? Can he pass a Voight-Kampff test? It's the episode where the Star Trek trading cards prove that they're worth what you pay for them.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation. A Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison.

I'm Adam Prenica. Adam, it's been a long time coming, but I want to do something very special on the opening of today's show. Oh, really? I have a box of Star Trek cards the opening of today's show. Oh really? I have a box of Star Trek cards in front of me that you sent to me. Yeah! I meant to get to this on the last episode and I spaced out because I was drinking a beer. But I'm going to open this thing up.

Oh that's awesome. So this is Star Trek the next generation Portfolio Prince trading cards. Series one. That is a series of words and phrases that are essentially meaningless to me. And then it's got a silver sticker that says this is number 4,055 out of 6,000. So I guess there's a limited number of these out out there in the wild, and I'm probably committing a grave sacral edge by cutting into this, breaking all the seals. Only 6,000 boxes.

I know. Can you imagine the demand that it must have built up for these precious few boxes? I want that box to be full of our gals. Like, the intention for me was to buy you nothing but our gals, but that option was not open. Okay, so it's a box full of little packets of cards. Maybe there's like, these might be like eight cards to a pack.

Oh, five cards to a pack. This is gray pod. I'm just, I'm riveted. I'm gonna open, I'm just gonna open one pack. We'll see what's inside. Yeah, if this segment works, we can keep doing it. What do you know about these cards? When I was doing an eBay search for the Star Trek cards

that I bought as a kid with that $20 bill. Yeah. I couldn't find anyone selling them. Like, that's how little value they had. Well, I was recently at an estate sale with our friend Jesse Thorn, a proprietor of MaximumFund.org. Oh, yeah. And he showed me a section of trading cards that was replete with these and also like babble on five cards and cards from things that you would never expect anybody to collect things.

Murder-she-wrote cards? Yeah. Okay, so I've got five cards here. What do I, what do I have? Whoa, each pack only has five cards? Yeah. Wow. So I have one called frame of mind. I guess this is the name of an episode. Okay. It's got like a pretty crazed picture of Commander Riker. Oh, fun. You should post pictures of these on our Twitter at hashtag greatestgen.

Oh, I sure will. I have one for data lore. The episode in which data's evil twin brother lore is introduced. Oh good, an episode we've actually watched. Yeah, and it's like a, their heads are sort of back to back and you know, like push together. So there's a common hole and then there's like circuits exploding out of the hole.

Oh man, I was hoping that one would have been like a hologram card where the hologram was like data spashing out on the ground when Oh, man, I was hoping that one would have been like a hologram card, where the hologram was like data spashing out on the ground, when lore was hit in this button. That would have been fun. That would have been good. Oh, here's a signed one. Oh, who do we got?

Uh, this is signed by George Baxter, who played David in the episode, Unnatural Selection. Oh, I'm going to have to go to have to go to the internet for this one. Yeah, this is not a person I recognize at all. Oh wait, this might be like one of the perfect children in that episode where like the, I think like everybody's getting old or something. Remember that? As a featured actor, he received no credit for his appearance.

You got a sign card from a C actor who was never credited for his role in the show. That is awesome. They are real gangsters with the show credits on this series, aren't they? God, this George Baxter guy would be great at greatest Genncon. Oh, we'd love to have George Baxter there. I mean, if he's down to sign, he's down to come to greatest Genncon. I think one of the biggest rules of being

at greatest Genncon and on a panel is that you could not have been credited on the show while making an appearance on the show. Oh yeah, that's... I think that'd be fantastic. Yeah, anybody that was a major character in a film and didn't get a credit also can be there. So, Khan's right hand man.

Out of that. From a wrath of Khan. I'm going to look up the value of that sign card on eBay. What are the other cards that you have? Uh, so the last two are one for the episode I Borg, I'm going to look up the value of that sign card on eBay. What are the other cards of the F? So the last two are one for the episode I Borg, which is the one where they like find a Borg and name it and then like feel really bad

when they have to send it back to the collective. Oh, here's another card for the episode unnatural selection. Let's see. It's just got a little synopsis on the back here. The Enterprise crew learns that everyone on the USS Lantery has died of rapid aging. My memory is almost flawless, Adam. Yeah, clearly.

This is an episode in season two, because there's a mention of Dr. Polesky here. Oh, fun. Yeah. So the highest value I found for the card you're holding, the George Baxter card is $17. Let's assume I could sell it for the highest value, being that I may noted Star Trek enthusiasm celebrity. You are.

Wow, $17. That's pretty good. That is not bad. I feel like this adventure is already paying for itself. You should roll that value back into more boxes to start trick cards. That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my-

That's my- That's my- That's my gambling mind at work there. That's my- That's my- That's my gambling mind at work there. That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my-

That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That's my- That was fun. Is that all the cards? That was all five cards. Wow. Yeah, definitely take a picture of that and put it online. I like to see.

I will. There are literally dozens and dozens more packs of cards. So we could... Oh, good. ...could seemingly do this for the rest of the series. Awesome. I think we should return to that. It's a tiny, small, stop-beating face. Are you wrong, find it within yourself? The stand-up, tell the truth.

You don't deserve the well-backed unit. Why don't we talk about our episode today? It's season two, episode six. The schizoid man. Did I pronounce that correctly? I would have said skitzoid, but I'm willing to defer to you on this. Was that the sound of another beer being opened over there? May have, it was Adam. The replicator is close at hand and I'm rapidly turning into a beer-drinking Star Trek podcaster. I really love how this podcaster slowly more becoming a cheap rip off of the flop house. No. Major late motif on that show is Stewart Wellington cracking a brewodog every like three

to four minutes, I want to say. Oh jeez. Well, I must have, yeah, I thought we were morphing our way into your other podcast. You're quite successful. Let's drink about a podcast. Yeah, I have to maintain some separation of the two intellectual properties. My attorneys are very clear about that. Well, I am also feeling particularly scorched

as you got custody of me in your divorce. So, things are still pretty tender between me and Chris, I think. I was editing an episode of our show the other day, and I was just like using my laptop speakers to play back a section. And my wife walked by and heard you cracking wise about something and just went, I love Adam. Oh, that's great. Yeah. It sort of reminded me of that time you told me about when your wife picked you

up for something and she was listening to your show in her car And I was like wow Adam's wife loves Adam my wife loves Adam. Where's that leave me? I'm a real hit with the wives All right, so this episode the skitzoid man the skizoid man That might have been the longest preamble that we've ever had on the show. We're keeping all of it, by the way. The enterprise is unroot to provide medical care for the reclusive scientist, Ira Graves. It's yet another episode where a nutty scientist

has left the federation and gone off to some remote planet to be by himself and pursue his research in peace. It makes me think the Federation might be anti-science. Yeah, what is going on in the Federation that every luminary in every field of science has bugged out? Yeah, I don't get it. So it's peculiar because they're getting a distress signal from Graves' world, which is the name of the planet that Ira Graves has gone to. That's convenient.

Yeah. I wonder if that's just a coincidence or, you know, how that works out. Captain, stop the ship. I think this is where you need to drop me off. Just feels like it was meant to be, man. But they're getting this distress signal, but the communications from Graves World have been shut off, so they can't reply to say like, we're on root, they can't get any more information about what's going on. So they're going as fast as they can, and then they get another distress call from a

ship that's nearby that is, I guess they had like an onboard explosion, and there's like thousands of people onboard that might be suffering from hypoxia and other injuries. And Polasky who's been real bullish on how excited she was to meet graves is like, no, no, no, no, no, no, we gotta go Help this other ship. It's just so many more people. So they're like, what do we do? What do we do? and they decide to do a semi-dangerous maneuver We're led to believe called a near warp transport

Which is where they drop out of warp momentarily near warp transport, which is where they drop out of warp momentarily, transport some people down to the planet service and then warp out toward this ship that they're going to, to provide to made to. So because they're doing this, they're not going to send Polasky down to the planet, which is, for some reason an important plot point.

They're going to send like a hot-looking Vulcan doctor instead. So who is it? It's data, Vulcan doctor, Troy, and Worf. And Worf, yeah. So... Yeah, Worf gets a great line here. So they, the group beams down using this, this process, which is basically like stopping the ship suddenly, beaming them down, and then it goes to Warp again,

which really doesn't seem like it would be any huge deal. No. But we are made to believe that, uh, it makes you feel pretty weird if you're on the beaming end of things. They also like tasked Jordi with running the transport. So I guess he has taken the mantle in Yars absence of being best at transporter. Yeah.

Even though O'Brien now has the job of transporter chief, they want Jordi to do this. Yeah. O'Brien's just best at standing there. Man. Yeah. Looking on off into the distance and feeling unwee. So they get down there and Troy's like holy shit. It might sound crazy, but for a moment I thought I was fucking that wall from what you were had that wall feel I feel like Troy is Is willing to let people like man's plane shit to her in a way that is almost Hard to hard to buy but she's like what's happening? Are we on a spaceship? Where are we going?

It's got to be doubly infuriating because she can sense their thoughts as well. Like, it's not just that she's getting mansplained all the time. It's that she knows it's coming. Yeah, she can see that on the horizon. Yeah, poor Troy. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment.

Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it. The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's greatestgentour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris.

And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you.

And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open. Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, rats, hey, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line.

These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line. And boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this arc. We've got to get on the arc. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity.

Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans, but we're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out.

We would love to be on the boat. We came to by two. What do you think? O'Neill Ross and Kerry, available on MaximumFun.org. They're going to start spreading out and searching graves is compound, but Karine Briannon, his lovely 19 year old blonde assistant, comes out and finds them and she's

She explains that she Put this distress call out in this weird way because she didn't want graves to find out and graves like Makes a real grand entrance here and kind of like completes her sentence. I couldn't take the chance Chans what chance grand entrance here and kind of like completes our sentence. I couldn't take the chance. Chance. What chance? A chance that I might find out someone was coming, Cree knew full well that I would not be pleased to put it mildly. He's got like a Peter Falk style lazy eye. It was very distracting to me.

He's like, Yeah, it's got to be in another stuff. I feel like he, he like sounds really familiar for some reason. It's interesting that you mentioned that. I also felt the same way. Uh, the actor playing Ira Graves is W. Morgan Shepard, and you remember his voice just like I do, because he was the prison warden on Ruperpente in Star Trek 6. Aaaaah! There are no stockades. There is no wall work well and you will be treated well

work badly And you will die that's the guy oh Man, yeah, that is such a good call that is Aside from Rath of Khan that is my favorite of the Star Trek films me too. Yeah, it's all about two and six Oh man, that is a all that all the all the like Shakespearean cling on and yeah I'm gonna go to the music video and I'm gonna go to the music video. I'm gonna go to the music video and I'm gonna go to the music video and I'm gonna go to the music video. I'm gonna go to the music video and I'm gonna go to the music video. I'm gonna go to the music video and I'm gonna go to the music video. all wrapped into one. There's a, we find out there's a kitchen on the enterprise and they like make mashed potatoes

by hand. Yeah. Vulcan can control with a North Korean haircut. I mean, come on. Oh, that movie's the total package. I love it. I watch it all the time. Yeah.

Oh, well, back to this shitty episode. So basically Graves is an anti-doctor. He doesn't want anybody waving any scanners at him. So he's, you know, despite the fact that he is a raging misogynist and chauvinist around this hot Vulcan doctor. Yeah, he full on like stairs at her boobs. Yeah, he really takes umbridge at her like being close to him with scanning instrumentation, which I feel like like it's one thing to not want a doctor to like put something up your butt to find out how your prostate is doing.

It's another thing when the doctor can stand like three feet away from you with a little scanning module from a tricorder. How can you complain about that? I don't know. I guess I should be clear too. I read wasn't steering it or boobs. One eye was steering it or boobs. The other eye was off.

Hard to say. Look at the base on the other side of the room. Yeah, it's like anybody with anybody with a lazy eye. It's hard to tell what what they're actually looking at, you know. She's not being a dick about her scan either. Like she's just giving them a once over. It's not a big deal. The guy is the guy's just really flipping shit. Yeah. But she determines that he has some some some space disease. He's got a case of the spaces. Yeah Moments like this requires someone who will act Do the unpleasant thing

Everything There's nothing to do with a house a car to actor. He takes a real shine to data Right? Yeah, he's got he's got a couple months live, and he wants to spend as much of them as possible, sitting at his computer while data stands around nearby, listening to his bullshit. He does that weird thing, like where he projects a familiarity onto someone else. Like, he invites data to call him grandpa.

Yeah, well, because when the like he immediately identifies Dr. Nunean Suhng's work when he sees data, he says like, no aesthetic value of any kind, this is Suhng's work. And the way someone would go into a museum and go like, yeah, that's a Picasso because that woman's got a fucked up face. Yeah. Like looking at data, you can just tell. And he tells data that he taught suing everything he knew.

And that in a way makes him data's grandfather. And so his request of data is for him to call him, Grandpa, for the rest of the episode, which he does. Yeah. As data do, data takes that very very literally and just goes at the flow. So Graves is the kind of character that does a lot of monologizing about his evil plan. So while Data is in this room, he spends some time explaining how he's developed a method to transfer his brains

consciousness into the computer You know saving all of his memories and all of his thoughts for eternity and Data let slip that he can be deactivated and that's all graves needs to know because of his familiarity It was soon. He guesses that he knows exactly where that button is right and that's all Graves needs to know. Because of his familiarity with Song, he guesses that he knows exactly where that button is. Right. Where would Song put such a device? Let me try the bulls.

So the end of Rises. Let me try them again. One final time. On second thought, that was the penultimate time. Let's try it once again. I'm going to type a ramble on about something everyone knows. So the Enterprise is finished with helping this other ship and returns to orbit around Graves World. And they ask the OA team what their status is and data comes out kind of dramatically announces that Graves has bought the farm. So they all beam back up and they have a little funeral ceremony for graves in the transporter room, which I thought was a weird place to have a funeral, given

how non-ceremonial it feels in there. Yeah, evidently he had very specific instructions on what to do with him after his death. And I guess one of those instructions was to wrap him in chain mail and stick him in a torpedo tube. Yeah. Or stick him in a torpedo casing with a window on it. He does look a lot like the night that is guarding the holy grail in that Indiana Jones film. What I was thinking. Yeah, absolutely. One of the nights of me.

Yeah, a weird scene in this sort of begs a question about the transporters that I Fully wondered which is why do they need a room if a point to point transport is? which is why do they need a room if a point-to-point transport is doable? I don't know. I guess you just want a place to assemble your dustbuster club, right? Yeah, that does look pretty. No place to go over some shit.

Yeah, fair enough. Hey Ben, if he had to go, I have a feeling I know the answer to this question. You'd want to be shot out of the torpedo tube instead of just beamed into space, right? Fuck yeah. Yeah, what is Graves' deal like he could have been he could have been as specific as he wanted to be he could have asked for anything After his death and they're like yeah, just be me Be me out in a space and I'll just float around and good enough for Spock should be good enough for graves

I feel like yeah shoot me like a weapon is how I'd want to go out. That's what I love about you Adam. We're even in death, I would become a danger to myself and everyone else. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I respect your commitment to menace and chaos. Chaotic death. So at this funeral, data gets up and starts speaking about what a great man graves was and

what a devastating loss this is for the federation and everybody in it. And it's a pretty great eulogy. It's better than the one Tasha Yargat. Absolutely, but it's delivered in this incredibly sappy way and it starts to make everybody assembled, feel real uncomfortable. To the point where Picard cuts him short and says, like, Dada, you gotta cut this off.

Like, this is ridiculous. To Noah,. Love him to love him mr. Noah Those who knew him love him and those who did not know him loved him from afar Really awful yeah, which you know graves his whole thing is that he's a fucking genius, but he can't write for shit Even for his own funeral. He can't write a good eulogy. I think that's why he was probably kicked out of the Federation science area, which was he was just so insufferable to be around.

It's a real masterclass in overacting from Lieutenant Commander Data. Yeah. commander data. So this isn't the only time that data is acting weird. He starts really throwing a shit around. Yeah, he just kind of, you know, start to be in real arrogant and shitty to everybody else. He really graves around a bunch. And, you know, like, there's some great little throwaway moments. Like, at some point, he's called into the ready room to get sort of called the task for what a dick he's acting like. And when he leaves, he walks out and like a female crewman walks by and he makes a point of getting a load of her butt

as she walks past. Yeah, he gets a real big load of that butt. Like he basically leans over and watches her walk away from him. Yeah, and then pulls a bike horn out of his pocket and goes, oh, God. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, and he takes a super shy into Korean.

And this is really the thing that tips us off that Graves is inside data in any number of ways, but he's clearly very affectionate and protective of Karine, and interactions. And at some point, he thinks that Picard is trying to put the moves on her and makes a little under the breath comment about it. And when everybody clears out, Troy turns to Ryker and goes, I was feeling like emotions of jealousy coming from data, which I thought was really weird because she could have gone and told the captain

about that, but she chose not to. Like I feel like this would be like a bigger sign of something being up. If not wrong, you know, like there's something going on with data if you're sensing human emotion coming out of him, right? Right, and also, once again, the most dangerous figure on board the ship.

As soon as data starts acting weird, that should be caused for really big concern. That's a calling all-car situation. And Troy's like, huh, that's weird. I'm going to go back to ancestry.com now. So they ordered data to undergo some diagnostics. And they first start with physical diagnostics. And he goes down to engineering and Jurydy uses this kind of like electro hula hoop scanner, which I feel like it's the only time we've seen this, but it's like the coolest scanner of all time.

It's pretty great. Yeah, it's like, it's making this like bright blue light beam that envelops, you know, like circles around data's body and gets like bigger or smaller depending on how much body it has to surround. Yeah. Yeah, and data's all like, he's not really wanting to help. He's all wiggly.

Jordan is like, cut it out, man, I'm trying to hool-hoop you. They can't find anything physically wrong with him. And so Troy suggests maybe it's, there's something psychologically wrong with him. Maybe this isn't a hardware problem, but the software problem. And so she runs, I think what's called the psychotronic test on him, which they say like everybody has to pass in order to get out of Starfleet Academy.

And it, apparently it's just like putting some brain scanners on him and then showing him a bunch of images and seeing how his brain reacts. You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden it's a test now? Yes, you're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look warm. What desert? And so they just show like all of these images

like from this episode, from past episodes, there's even some stills in there from like the Genesis device going off in the Rathicon. They gathered a bunch of Star Trek stock photography. Yeah, which I thought was cool. It was cool to have some deep cuts tossed in there with some more contemporary stuff. Yeah, yeah. Remick was in there.

It was in that quick slideshow. Oh, I didn't notice that. Oh, shovel face. Yeah. Giggity. She determines through this process that data has a split personality. There's two personalities. One of them is the dominant one and one is the recessive one.

And it becomes clear that Graves has loaded his consciousness into data and that it's slowly taking over. And that if they don't do something soon, data is going to be lost. They have this wrap about data's prognosis away from data. And they, uh, records like, well, gotta go find him, gotta go, gotta go see if I can lawyer this thing out of him. Meanwhile, data is a 10 forward, uh, putting the moves on Karin, and he's pretty much spilled the beans at this point. He's like Karin, I was an old man, old and infirm and soft. But now look at me, I'm a robot man, which means I can have infinite stamina and live forever. And this does not go well for I am fully functional and present in multiple techniques Korean. He expects Korean to be

like awesome, build me a robot body too and we can watch the end of time. But Karine is not happy about this. She sees him for sort of the monster that he is. This is really upsetting to the data graves figure who inadvertently breaks both of her hands while holding them during this scene. Like, holy shit. Like, it's actually like notably violent. Yeah, we find out later that her hands have been broken by him.

So, that didn't go well for the data Graves figure. He basically like spills the beans at like, look, I've wanted to fuck you forever, and now I actually can. Like, let's do it. Now I've got a function in cock. Let's actually can. Like, let's do it. Now I've got a functioning cock. Let's get down, baby. Let's get down. I've got two working eyes and one working cock.

Let's do it. Which I think is like, no way, Jose. Any dude who has ever had consensual sex with a woman knows is not the way to a woman's heart. I've tried this method a few times, and it hasn't worked a single time. Yeah, I'm working my way up to it, but... Especially the hand breaking. So far everything I've tried hasn't worked.

Yeah, so data, data graves, bolts at this point and he's super pissed. So Picard goes to confront him in engineering, yeah? Is that the next scene? Yeah, and this sort of echoes that confrontation that Wurf has with the Klingon in engineering that one time. Yeah. You know, Picard walks in, there's like everybody's down.

Like, Jordi is passed out on the floor and, you know, Graves' data is saying like, you know, I'm not a violent man, this is not my way, don't judge me by this, I just had to. And this is like a pretty like, a pretty great lawyer Picard scene, because Picard essentially talks graves out of being alive. Yeah.

He talks them into suicide, basically. Yeah, which is pretty intense. He says, okay, you cheated death for a few days, but you're going to do that at the expense of the consciousness of a totally unique individual that is totally irreplaceable. And that's your calculus that he's a machine and you're a man and therefore more important. It doesn't really hold up around here. We like data more than we like you.

Yeah, data isn't as much of a dickhead as you are. Yeah, you know, Picard's lawyering is rad because the decision that Graves makes to terminate his consciousness inside of data and like put all of his smart stuff into the enterprise computer, like, man, that seems like the biggest leap of the show. It's like, the guy has a chance to live forever inside data. He could take over the ship at any point. He could kill anyone he wanted. He has ultimate power and he gives it up.

I feel like it was believable though. Because of Picard's great loyering? Yeah. I guess. I don't know. I mean, it's certainly. You didn't feel the same way. It certainly redeems Graves as a character

because he has a monster up to a point but then accepts the idea of dying and then does. So the card lawyers him, but not before Graves pimpslaps the shit out of him. And if data Graves wasn't careful, he could have slapped the card's head off. He clearly doesn't know his own strength. He could have killed both Jordy and Picard

and he doesn't, basically an accident. And not only that, Picard could have killed both Jordy and Picardin who doesn't, basically an accident. And not only that, Picard could have fallen through that glass floor. We know it's dangerous. We know it's dangerous. We know it's dangerous those glass floors are surrounding the warp core. So, any number of bad things could have happened. It's a real miracle that everybody survives this app.

They find data lying on the floor of his quarters and Graves has transferred himself out of data and into the computer and data asks everybody why he's lying on the ground and it's a real laugh line. Yeah, I mean basically he experienced the blackout that we all have from time to time. What did I do at that party, you guys? Why are you all looking at me weird? Nothing, dude. Nothing. He basically wakes up with a sharpied penis on his forehead.

Uh-huh. And can't remember how it got there. D'Armoch, Angeloch, and Denaga. D'Armoch, and Genaga. How'd you feel about this episode, Adam? Not great. I think the best part of the episode was the very beginning, was the cold open, which we didn't talk about.

So Troy and Jordy are walking through the corridors and Troy's like, what's this all about, Jordy? What are you so excited over? Jordy's like, data is super pumped about showing us something in his room. We gotta go check it out. I've never heard him act this way before. So they go into data's room and the doors open up

and you see data from behind and he's just sort of standing looking in the corner. And it's like we see data through Jordy and Troy's eyes first, and it's just a total crack up. They're like, what the fuck is up with this? Data turns around to reveal like, basically a pew beard on a space.

It is just the most terrifying looking beard ever. A fine, full, dignified beard. And they are shocked by this. I wonder how much they thought about going a whole episode with data bearded. I would love that. I wish they could. Oh, it would be so great.

Yeah, yeah, it was so awesome. There's a couple like laugh out loud lines in this scene. One of them really got me. God, I don't remember who asks, but I think it was Troy that was like, did you damage your face? Which, like that terminology is awesome, for a number of reasons, but also,

like that is the question my wife asked me every time I go more than two days without shaving. Like, as bad as this beard was on data, I was still a little envious. It was a very full beard. It looked like a boy band beard that had been painted in with like mascara. Right, yeah.

It was dark and there was some greece and formula in this beard. I wish we had gotten the scene where it grows. Like, I'm sure they just didn't have the technology to show it, but like, the scene where data holds his breath and pushes a beard out of his face, I think would have been hilarious. Yeah, and like the scene where he just grows

a huge nap of prodigious chest hair, like the amount of time he spends just fucking around with body hair. Yeah. It'd be great. Oh, so it'd be so good This was that that was the best scene of a mostly forgettable episode I thought I Agree. What did you think? I'm right there with you as you were watching this episode Did you find yourself a little drunk Shimoda?

I sure did This is a little throwaway line that I just thought was real funny. I feel like Jim Shimoda's spirit was alive in this moment. At the end, when they're waking data up off the floor and he doesn't remember anything, and he's asking what happened. Riker goes, does wrestling with a Klingon targ mean anything to you? And they're all laughing, which I feel like is doubly cruel, Riker goes, does wrestling with a Klingon targ mean anything to you? And they're all like laughing, which I feel like is doubly cruel because, hey, it's just,

you know, not something that data actually did and be data is the kind of person that will believe that Riker is just being 100% truthful. Right. But it's also just like, like, Riker could have made a real joke about something that data really did when he was passed out, but he just, he went with, does wrestling with like, going on targ main anything to you. Yeah, I do remember staring at all those asses

for a couple of days. Yeah. So I come to mind at all. Yeah, remember temporarily beating my point average for female conquest on the ship? You remember almost slapping Picard's head off of his neck? My Shimoda goes a little darker than yours, I think. Just the idea that the only reason that Graves wants to live forever is so we can fuck as assistant is like,

uh, that's like the most bassist, that's the most bass version of a Shimoda, like to be just led around by your cock into making a decision. And that was that for me, like, God. Like, the stakes are so high and it's just for his assistant, like, I mean, she's super foxy, that's for sure. She's a hot lady. She is very foxy, but is basically given zero character at all, like we don't know a thing about her.

Yeah. So it must be pretty great if Graves is into it that much, but also like we can't really trust Graves' judgment about anything. No. Yeah, sort of a dark Shimoda on that one. I am La Qtia's aboard. You will respond to my questions. I am La Qtia's aboard.

You are aboard. What do we have coming up on the next episode, Ben? Adam, this is kind of crazy, but we actually have episode seven unnatural selection coming up, which is two Star Trek cards that I happened to open at the beginning of this episode. No one is going to believe this, but I promise you, like, this is absolutely legitimate. Like, we didn't set that up. You got cards coming from the episode we're about to watch. Two out of five cards that I opened from a packet of a box with, I mean, there's probably 200 cards in here.

God, you know, we should do the card opening from time to time, but I think we should respect it a little more if these are magic cards that I got you. Yeah, it seems like they may be. Yeah, it's a real, it's sort of a late night, Johnny Carson bit, like you open up the Star Trek card and then we get the next episode that was inside. Yeah, it's like Yuri Geller had something to do

with these cards. 2% or? So what's a natural selection about? The crew grapples with a mysterious disease, which accelerates the aging process, causing humans to die of old age within a matter of days. Oh, man. I do remember this episode. They break out that face makeup that they put on that one admiral of like 10 episodes

ago, right? Like, basically the burlap sack covered in plaster. Everyone gets real old-looking. It's great. I think the thing that I remember kind of hating about this episode is that the Basically the burlap sack covered in plaster. Everyone gets real old-looking. It's great. I think the thing that I remember kind of hating about this episode is that the actors that play the people that have been exposed to this disease for a while

are actual old people. So then when they turn around and start doing the makeup, it just looks all the more cheesy for it. That's so cruel. This is what we think you look like. I remember actually rooting for Polaski to die in this episode. Oh yeah, I mean, she's definitely

like the most advanced in years of any character on the ship. And the most disliked character of season two. Yeah. Like even at a very young age I remember like well she's not in the real credits. They're still introducing her a special guest like maybe this is your last one Do you remember what happens to Wesley the boy in this episode? No, no does he get old? I don't know. I'm I can't remember. I'm I'm dying to find out All right, well, let's check it out. Let's check it out and then do another episode of this show. Sounds good. That's a good plan.

Yeah, we could keep youaling our podcast. All right. Well, if you want to talk about this, that or any other episode of Star Trek, the next generation, feel free to seek us out on Twitter using the hashtag greatest gen. We're also on there as Cut for Time and Benjamin R, A-H-R. Please go to iTunes and leave us a nice review. Yeah, if you haven't done that yet, make that a part of your routine. Yeah, we've got so many and we're so honored by everybody who has done it already, but it's like one of the numbed row on ways we expand our audience and You know, it's not a lot to ask. I don't think so go ahead and do that

Yeah, thanks or whatever Look if I could rate you as listeners, I would. Yeah, five stars. Yeah, if you're listening to this show, five stars for you. You're the best. Yeah, why don't you get us back with some of that five star action? Thanks. We want to thank Dark Materia for our opening and interstitial music.

Thanks, Dark Materia. You're welcome. Thank you so much. You're welcome. And we will be back at you next time with another amazing episode of Stark Trek, the Next Generation, and also another episode of the greatest generation. Sounds great. See you then.

Later, Adam. Bye. Maximumfund.org