The Greatest Generation - A Hundred Duck-Sized Odos (DS9 S3E14)

Episode Date: November 26, 2018

When Kira and Odo borrow a Starfleet runabout they get stuck doing Starfleet work. But when the mission turns into a crisis, Odo will have to decide if he believes Kira’s performance. Does Odo have a butt? Which side of the iron curtain is the best venue for metamorphosis humor? Does O’Brien have a kayak kink? It’s the episode that adds a fifth rule of Greatest Genquisition. Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉! Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets! Support the production of The Greatest Generation.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the universe, the segments that we do at the top of the show. We call them our Marin Open. Yeah. In the honor of Mark Marin who invented the naval gazing part of podcasting. We say that with respect though, right? Yeah. It's always a self-indulgent part of the show, but this is probably the self-indulgentest part we've ever come up with.

Sure is. It's always doing BITS segment! BITS, BITS, BITS! You're always doing BITS, BITS! You're always doing BITS! B. No matter what! You're always doing bits, bits, bits. I was doing bits. Bad bit moment. Bad bit moment.

It's a mirror in open that's sweeping the nation. Then people love what we do here. Yeah. People asking for it by name. When we were out on tour, Adam. And perhaps this is actually a good setup for one that I wanted to tell you about, because when we're out on tour like I think we're in Chicago, the concept of this segment came up while we were on stage, and people just

spontaneously broke into into song singing the drop that you made for this segment, which was you know like I don't think we saw that much feedback about it online. Maybe a little bit, but the idea that a room full of people were super there for this segment was exciting. And you were like desperate to get, to give them the satisfaction of playing the bit, like desperate to get to give them the satisfaction of playing the bit, uh, the bit drop from the stage from your phone and you were like looking around in our, in our shared drop box folder trying to find the audio. It was nowhere to be found while we were on stage and, and while you were looking for that, I shared a bit with the house that, uh, you later told me you were so distracted by looking in the drop box app that you didn't actually register what my bit was.

I was so infuriated on stage. I'm not an idiot with computers or smartphones or whatever, but this Dropbox app, I hit it to organize by created, which floats all the new stuff to the top, but anything that's in a folder, like regardless of when it was created, is crammed down to the bottom. And so it was totally baffling how I had organized this long list of drops, and yet I wasn't able to find it. I didn't. If only I had swept down to the bottom, I would have seen it.

Ah, well, if you want to hear the thing that I said to that crowd in Chicago, I really do. Okay. So I was talking about the fact that I had a recent birthday and my wife took me out to a nice white tablecloth restaurant for dinner on my birthday. And there's a part of them, you know, like after they've taken the plates, but before the scoop of vanilla ice cream with the birthday candle in it comes out where the server comes around and scrapes all the crumbs off your table.

And sometimes you see in some restaurants they have like a specialized crumbs scraper. It's like a piece of metal that is slightly curved, like the tape in a measuring tape. And it's like a curve. And I've never been to a restaurant with a crumb scraper. I've only been to a restaurant where they take a lint roller out and use that as the crumb scraper. All I do is...

Bits, bits, bits. No matter what. Well, there is a thing. I have seen this before, but this restaurant we were at did not have that. They just used a big spoon to clean all the crumbs off of our table. And this maybe more of a problem for me

because I'm a messy eater. Maybe that's why you haven't encountered this in the wild too many times. But the server came around to scrape all the crumbs off of our tablecloth and I said, oh, can we take those to go? Oh, that's a wimp! Bits, bits, bits.

No matter what! So, the second I left my mouth, I was immediately reminded of like my super hack bits that I used to do when I was a bus boy at a restaurant. And so she came back around and I said, I have to apologize for my like, my quippy little joke earlier. I'm sure you hear that 25 times a night. And she said, honestly,

that is the first time I've ever heard that. And I thought it was pretty funny. I only acted like I've heard that 25 times in a night. And that's like the puzzle, right? Is like the problem with doing bits, especially on somebody that works for tips, is that you basically have them under duress, you know? Yeah, I mean, doing a dad joke at somebody like that

is basically daring them not to laugh at your dumb joke. And I don't wanna be that guy, but it's a compulsion. Ben, I'm shocked that you having had restaurant industry experience would continue to subject restaurant workers to your bits. Well, yeah, but I mean, I think that part of the subtext of this segment is that you and I have gone a long way toward ruining each other for the rest of society. Yeah, that's right. That's right.

And when you're not around for me, or I'm not around for you, unfortunately, there's collateral damage, collateral bit damage, as it were. Ben, my moment of bad bits happened also in a restaurant. I was out with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time lately and we were catching up, but one of the great Japanese restaurants in Seattle, I was out with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time lately and we were catching up, but

one of the great Japanese restaurants in Seattle, and this is a place that specializes in sober noodles, it's great, great, great place. Are you gonna name check it or are you gonna let people just look through the phone book? I'm gonna let people look through the phone book. I'm tired of having my pronunciations explain to me on social media. So forget it. You don't want to get recognized

by other friends of DeSoto who are there every time you go from here on in. So the deal with the Soba noodles is that you can have them in the bowl, like in the bowl of broth, or you can have broth on the side and do some dunking. Like a tsukum in style. Like tsukum in style, yeah, exactly. So I chose to take them like that

because this place is known for their great noodles. I wanted to try some noodles without adornment at all. You wanted them the way the Japanese refer to them as al dente. You wanted them the way the Japanese refer to them as al dente. Hey, I'm trying to make a ramen here. So what's great about my favorite ramen restaurants do this, whether or not you take your noodles in the broth or not, is like if you've eaten all the noodles They will often either give you more noodles or like give you something else to either finish the broth or finish more noodles Like this is a thing that that's happened to us like you you go eat all the ramen noodles out of the broth

They'll give you more noodles if you want them in this case was 1,000 calories from carbohydrates not enough for you. How about another thousand? I really love that. So with this place, I had eaten all of my noodles and left a large portion of broth. And what they don't offer at this place is more noodles. Instead, they offer to fill your broth bowl with pasta water, with noodle water.

Whoa. Because the dipping broth is so concentrated your broth bowl with pasta water, with noodle water, because the dipping broth is so concentrated that it's too strong to just sip like soup broth. You can't take it to the dome. And a very nice server came over and told me this is what is frequently done. And I said, oh, that's great. And so there's like a little tea pot full of the broth,

full of the pasta water. And she pours it in and like, and like many servers does the just say when. And I said, okay. And then I proceed to lock eyes with her and not look at the bowl that she's pouring in. All I do is, it's it's it's it.

The entire time, I don't know how much water's going into the broth bowl and I'm just like doing a bit, like a visual bit on her. My friend who is with me sees me do this and is like, what are you doing? And totally like chops the knees out of the bit in such a way that it turned it into what could have been funny. Like one of my favorite things ever and at a very formative impact on me was like I used to

watch a lot of police squad, police squad, the television show and one of the things that they would do at the very end of it was like do a fake freeze frame and often these freeze frames would involve someone pouring coffee into someone else's coffee cup. The coffee would overflow onto the floor. The credits would still roll. Like they're blinking. Like they're trying to hold the coffee like that. And so I was like police squatting my server. And what happens when your police squad is interrupted by someone who isn't familiar with police squad is that you just end up looking like a fucking creep staring at your server while she fills your sober brothable with pasta water.

Did she like the other hand that wasn't holding the kettle do like finger gun and go police squad? Nice. I was I was deeply ashamed during this moment. It was a it was a bit that exploded on the launch pad. And didn't even leave the launch pad, just sort of tilted and fell. You know, that kind of space explosion. Yeah.

Yeah. Very familiar. I'm surprised and saddened that both of our bits occurred in a restaurant context. I'm almost inclined to add a fifth greatest general, which is like, no bits on tips. Like, this is a shorthand for doing bits on people in the service industry.

I'm kind of feeling a reluctance to do that. Those are the interactions where this kind of scenario is most likely to happen. And maybe by creating this segment, we have inadvertently opened the floodgates of our own bits on members of the service industry, which is certainly not what I am here to advocate for. So I like that rule.

I think that there's a little bit of a difference when a tip is not on the line. Right. Because if you walk into a store and do a bit and it's not gonna make that person's week or whatever one way or the other, that's a totally different situation. And I would say that the bit that I wanted to share,

the other bit that I wanted to share today is an example of that. This is a bit on tip the right way. This is a bit off tip. Okay. We're both dog owners. We know that dogs like chewing on things and specifically dogs like chewing on bully sticks,

which are dried sticks that are made from bullpizzle, which is the polite way of saying that dick. Snoop Dogg might think that they're made of bullpizz. Oh, that dude was big, big, big. He would be wrong. Yeah. There's a little extra bit in there for you, Ben. Yeah, that's great.

You're always doing pets. I walked into a pet store one time and just went right up to the counter where these are dispensed because the other thing about bully sticks is they're fairly costly. Like a package of them can cost like 11 or 12 bucks, but they're like, like my dog is clearly so gleefully happy when he gets one that this is a luxury item that I like to afford him from time to time. He's through the cat a dick. Yeah, and I was walking around with a friend, so this was mostly a bit for his benefit, but I walked into this pet store and I just plunked like a $10 bill down

on the counter and said, for bullpenises, please. And the lady working the counter just bent double with laughter. She thought that was so funny. Like what? Because people dance around what it is all the time, you know? And just like breaking the tension in the opening volley, I think was like such a surprise to her that she found it delightful. All I do is bits, bits, bits. No matter what. That is a delight. And it was great because I was there with my buddy and he was also there to yes and the joke of the situation. And he and I and the lady working the counter just, we did bits for two minutes and left

our butts off. You know the thing about your bits, your bits always do better than I would imagine. They're really working. They don't. Like, I don't want to, I don't want to put it in. I think I write them down when I remember them working because it's like a big poker win or whatever. Yeah, you're not as shameful about these confessions

as I might have predicted. Yeah, well, I mean, I brought that one up specifically to cite it as an example of a time that it wasn't a bad thing. But I want to be clear. This segment is about us being embarrassed about ourselves. Do as we say, not as we do, I would still discourage people from doing bits on those in the service industry. If for no other reason than to allow Ben and I more opportunities to do the same. Indeed, Adam. Well, do you want to get into the meat of this episode of the greatest generation? Maybe the, uh, episode of the greatest generation. Maybe the heart of this episode of the greatest generation. Hmm.

Yeah. I like it. Yeah, let's do it. It's a deep bass nine season three episode fourteen. Heart of stone. Can't leave any bit undone. All I do is bits, bits, bits. No matter what.

Do you realize how it this seems? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, out scenes for this and then they just leave the lens like on the dash for the crew to use next time. I feel like they're doing this fairly often in the run about and I think it's nice. It's not that easy to see because this is SD and like there's some examples in TNG where a shot is clearly like the focus is close enough from the foreground to the background that we're not even going to do a split diapter. But I kind of thought some of these shots, like if it was Kira talking to Odo.

Mr. Balky, Mr. Balky, but an Odo is, you know, it's over the shoulder on Kira and on Odo's face. I kind of felt like the focus might be landing on like the instrument panel behind him. And like, he's not quite in focus while Kira's ear is. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, and they both really fill the frame here too, whatever side of the conversation you're cutting from into. Yeah. They're having one of those conversations that I think we're both probably familiar with where you're chatting away and kind of blithely talking about your day and then you turn and realize that your partner has been quite cross with you the entire time and you're only now becoming aware of that effect. Yeah, and especially when it's so innocent, like it's such an innocent bear trap to wander into, right? Like,

Yeah. Kira does what she believes is a solid for Odo in RSVPing a dinner invitation, which in this context does not mean death is on the line for anyone. No, it's actually for a respondable civil play. Right. I mean, sometimes close friends and those in relationships with each other will answer for the other because that is their level of closeness to one another.

And so Kira is making the case that like I knew you'd hate this thing, I went ahead and said no. You wanted to go to the governor's house for dinner? Not particularly. Well then, what's the problem? Odo takes great umbridge with this. Yeah, it's kind of the opposite of how I would typically feel in this context, which is like, wait,

you got us out of a social obligation? You're the best. He is like, hey, I wasn't consulted, and I don't like the fact that you just assume my mind state. Like, yeah, it probably wouldn't have wanted to go, but I also don't want to be treated with the disrespect of the assumption that I don't want to do anything. Yeah. And curious like, hey, I don't know if you have a butt even, but what's up your butt?

I could put whatever I want up there. I could grow twice this size and put a truck up my butt. I could put this entire runabout in there. You wouldn't even know. You'd be sitting there talking about your shit. You would be totally ignorant to the fact that I had an entire run about in my butt, and I think that's the problem. I mean, this is how two people who are very fond of each other argue, though. They argue about assumptions and misunderstandings instead of arguing about, like,

deeper, more important matters. Right. They're sort of argument interruptus, though, because as they're kind of like building toward not being pissed at each other, they get a distress beep. And it is a transmission from a lecipian supply ship that is getting attacked by the Mayquise. Mayquise?

I mean, this is a quintessential Star Trek beginning of episode because it's like, we're on our way to do something. We better whip the cop car around. They're on their way home from something. They're on their way home from a conference. Like, it is even more quintessential than even that. Yeah.

Yeah, but why not put that off? Go exploring. But weird, because this is to non star fleets and it's a piece of starfleet material that they use to to fly off to To pursue the Mayquise as a first officer. I guess you have the latitude to do that Yeah, I thought that was really interesting. I think it's it's coolira and Odo can kind of self-direct in this way when using Starfleet equipment. I think that says something pretty interesting about the level of trust that they have

been extended and also what the nature of the relationship is between the Federation and Bajor. This is the second reference to an area of space called the Badlands. And this is an area of space that is pretty foundational for another Star Trek series that is spooling up around this Moment in time when when this DS9 episode has dropped. So I thought that was just a It's the part of the Star Trek universe that Martin Sheen and Sissy Spaceck live in. Yeah. I get that.

I get that reference. That's an Adam Percenter. I wish I was known for this Adam face. The Adam face of recognition. Yeah. Oh, film school movie. Yeah. No reason to watch that ever again. No, kind of boring, but also beautiful. Yeah. They they warp off and that's our that's our smash to to opening credits. And we come back and they're kind of, they're following this ship, it's gone into orbit around a moon

in orbit of a gas giant. And it's trying to evade them by going, like landing on a moon that has like pretty nasty electrostatic interference of some kind, where their sensors sort of stop being useful. It's one of the great teases of like we're just going to have to go in in the run about. There's no beaming inner beaming out here. Let's take it to the surface.

Yeah, let's put on our spacesuits with handles on the front and get down there. We cut back to DS9 where we are given Nog again for two straight episodes. It's the Nog show. Kind of feel like he's taken the place of quirk at this moment in time. Yeah, a little bit. I thought it was interesting that O'Brien is kind of working as Cisco's receptionist in the scene. Yeah, it's not a good look for him. He's wrenching on the station, but also screening Cisco's phone calls.

And I wonder if O'Brien is like on some kind of punishment at the moment. O'Brien, if he is a receptionist, is not doing a great job because he allows Nog into the office while he's carrying an item of unknown origin in a sack. Like, is there any reason for us to trust Nog? No.

Alone with Cisco especially. That is a super suspicious looking partial that he is clutching to his chest. It looks like it could be like a satchel charge or something. Yeah. Yeah. But Nog is really put on his Sunday Sunday best is matching lampshade and jacket combination and he comes in and shoves this parcel across the desk at Cisco who opens it

up and it is full of bars of gold press lat Well, it isn't called a bribe. It's a bribe. It's like a ceremonial bribe, though, because what Nog starts to describe is having just had his confirmation at Ferengi Church, which means he's now a man and able to make his own choices. And the thing you do once you become a man is you go bribe somebody for an apprenticeship with your life savings. I wanna be the the first for Rangie in Starfleet.

Now, who do I see about getting a uniform? Poor Nog doesn't know that Sisko is willing to grant him college credit for his unpaid internship. So it looks like Nog is really overpaying here. Yeah, yeah. Usually an internship is something that you don't get paid for. You don't have to pay for it out of your own pocket. Yeah.

It's very confusing for him. Yeah. Well, Ben Sisko is a little bit suspicious of this scene. And he does a professional know, which I think is great. Instead of a social know, Nog wants a favor. He wants the favor of Sis Cisco's apprenticeship and maybe a letter of recommendation so we can join Starfleet. Cisco demures professionally. He's like, yeah, you're not a member, like the forage, you're not a member of Starfleet and so it requires

this extra bit of thing and also I'm not inclined to give that to you because like of your reputation. I'm kind of going to give that to you because of your reputation. You're the bad boy of Deep Space 9, and I don't want this Latinum. Yeah, it's just Latinum on the table. It's an interesting turn after last episode, right? Because Cisco kind of came to Nugge's defense in that episode. Yeah, sure did. In this scene, he puts the wall right back up. Where do I sign up?

It's not that simple. The inciting incident for Nag story is a thing that happens a lot in Deep Space Nine and in Star Trek in general, which is, there's one bit of drama where there could be two, right? Because it's a little strange that Nag wants to join Starfleet. That's a huge surprise. But wanting a human to be,

wanting to apprentice for a human should double that down a little bit, and that's never regarded as a scandalous act by nog. Right. Where it could serve to, to double that drama is what I'm saying. I guess so, yeah, I mean, I also thought it was kind of interesting,

like Jake has already expressed some misgivings about the idea of following in his father's footsteps. And I think that this is fun. Like, it's Star Trek, kind of for the first time showing a young person who actually does want to be in Starfleet. Yeah. Like Wesley Crusher always wrapped wanting to be in Starfleet, but as he went through the motions, became increasingly disillusioned with it as a path in life, and Nog shows no sign of having the potential for that.

Yeah, and like the Latinum lays pregnant on the table, and it doesn't look like a small amount either. It seems problematic that ethically, Cisco allows Nog to walk out without it. Like, I mean, like, my wife was, as an attorney, and had some jobs in government. If somebody came into her office and like plunked cash down on the table, she would like make sure that that person was in custody and also the cash was not left in her office before, you know, anything

was, you know, left ambiguous. The easiest thing to do would be to get a witness like O'Brien needs to remain in the room here. Right. And because O'Brien is great at making O'Brien face, I think he'd be a great foil for what's happening. Oh, that would have been so fun! Right. But instead, Cisco is persuaded to hang on to the Latinum. And I guess maybe this is something about how deep in space, deep space 9 is. Maybe they just don't feel like they are under the watchful eye of Starfleet enough

to need to play it to the letter every single time. He can say, well, he'll leave that there and I'll tie the satchel up and next time I see him, I'll toss it at his chest. Yeah, that's going to hurt, though. Like, like being beat with a sock full of soap. Go to Cotto, Cotto, Cotto, go to Cotto. So... So back on the moon crash place it,

Kira and Odo explore these caves and it's not great down there because they're getting seismic bangers job down them. They've wetted up the walls of the Star Trek caves, which is fun to see. I feel like we haven't seen these Star Trek caves, which is fun to see. I feel like we haven't seen these Star Trek caves this wet since that episode where Warf and Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard

were like in their ninja costumes running around until Picard found out that there were four lights. That's right, yeah. But yeah, they make the classic horror movie foieball of deciding to split up. I don't understand why Odo doesn't split himself up. Oh shit, yeah, could Odo have a couple of like 11 year old boy looking Odo's run around?

Or six one-foot tall Odo's and one of them rides on Kira's shoulder like a parrot. Would you rather fight? Rise like this a thing. One horse-sized odo or a hundred duck-sized odos. Maybe you just put a little bit of odo in your hand. Work it into your hair and get a little more volume, Kira. Anything about that?

You think she should have something about Mary's spiked forelock? All I'm saying is I'm missing the volume. I don't think we're ever gonna agree on this, man. I just really love the new haircut. Wow, man. I'm head over heels for the new haircut. Just very supportive of the new haircut. Yeah.

So you're a smart man. Whatever, whatever you're asked about a lady's haircut, always answered in the affirmative. Extremely positive response to new haircut. Yes, always, no matter what. When I first started dating my wife, the first time she came back from something with a new haircut, she waited for me to say something about it, and I did not. And partly this is just because I didn't notice that there was anything different. But it established very early on that I was not going to notice most of the time if she

had a new haircut. And so there's no expectation that I would notice that she has a new haircut. And so there's no expectation that I would notice that she has a new haircut. Can I just turn to the camera and say something right now? When one person, that's the one with the red light on top. Oh, okay, all right. Okay, here. When one person waits for the other person to notice a thing, that's a game. Yeah. And games are not cool to do in relationships, okay? Yeah. Don't do bits in your own relationship.

Yeah, save it for the service industry. Hahaha. Where they belong? Yeah, yeah. I'll have the chicken fried steak and also do these jeans make my butt look big. That'd be so cruel, so fucking cruel. What happens when you split up in a horror film, Ben, is that one of the two gets killed and in Star Trek, one of the two steps into a bear trap. And that's what happened to Kira. She's got her foot stuck in a crystal bear trap, a crystal bear trap that is growing actually. Yeah, the, uh, like,

Odo reaches out and touches it. And it's a pretty cool special effect here. I want to say, the bear trap grows. And it seemed like maybe she could have slipped her foot out of her boot at first, but now not. Right. Post-growth. Post-growth, it's just too big. There's no way to flex the foot and turn that corner. They're pretty concerned about this

because there's no getting out. I mean, after he fails to break it apart by smashing a rock against it, she suggests the idea of shooting her foot out of it with a phaser and that backfires in a big way. Right. It causes this crystal to grow quite a bit and in case like up to her mid calf.

It's pretty scary, but Kira's got a brave face. She does. She's laughing. He's like a, he's like, hey, I don't know where you are, but I'm kind of seeing this as a major emergency. That's pretty ridiculous, don't you think? And she's like, you know,

like we're gonna figure something out. This is Star Trek. There's never like, somebody doesn't die from stepping on a crystal. How do you feel about this tone? I like it. I think that, you know, Kira is a character that we have sort of, you know, the, the Blan man describing the elephant.

We've had a lot of different opportunities to hear about different aspects of her past. But get the sense that she's really been through some shit. So the danger of this is very evident to her, but she's also been, you know, she's really been through some shit. So the danger of this is very evident to her, but she's also been, you know, she's been close to danger. I think that one weird part of modern life in relatively safe Western countries is that a lot of people are like never anywhere near danger and therefore like have a deep misunderstanding of what is and is not dangerous, that people who go into danger or live in dangerous places have a very different sense than what you might imagine if you live in a very safe place and have a safe, have had a safe life, you know. That's a pretty interesting take with respect to Kira.

Like, it's sort of understandable how like, she's wearing a big cast and it's on an alien planet. Like, good for you, huh? Well, we'll stick a shovel under this thing eventually. Like, something we'll work out. This is the part of the episode where I feel like the script does a bunch of carriage returns. And I want to talk a little bit about this because there is a technique you use to hasten

the pace of an episode that works for raising tension and a lot of cross cutting back and forth can occasionally do that. But in this episode and the episode that came before, I feel like the scenes are so short, and the cuts in between them are so abrupt that I feel like we're doing neither story, any favors, by their multiplication. You know? I want to live in these places a little longer, especially like we get so little of Kira going through this, we get so little of Kira alone, especially that I really wish that there was more of that. But before we are able to live in any moment, we're

back on DS9. Yeah. I think that's true. I think, to me, this show has occasionally gotten a little distracted with Farenki hijinks. And these two episodes are maybe like, high level examples of that, where the Farenki B plot is fun and good. But also like, they clang a little bit with the eight storylines. Yeah.

And I think that there have been times where the Farenki Hygiene's B-plotline has been just bad full stop, but at least this one is like kind of compelling and interesting, you know? They have learned how to make the Ferengy not a clown show. Right. And I'm grateful for that. Yeah, it seems like in spite of all of Quark's criminality, they've found a way to make him an interesting character that isn't just constantly selling everybody out and doing horrible shit. And for that, I'm grateful.

I think this would be a terrible show if that's primarily what the Farengy did. Yeah, we also get to see Ron in this episode for the first time, and I feel like an age, like has he even been on this season? It's hard to remember. I mean, if he has, it hasn't been significant. Rahm is rebuilding. It's kind of like when I walk by the auto parts store in my neighborhood, and there's always a guy with like a tursell parked on the street in front of it

that's like rebuilding the engine on the sidewalk. It's kind of what Ram is up to. He's got the guts of Quark's replicator pulled out of the wall and he and Nogger working hard and getting this thing back and working condition. Is it fixed yet? Not yet, brother. What's taking so long?

We're working as fast as we can. Yeah, it seems like Quark has not exactly been following the routine maintenance stipulations in the owner's manual for this replicator. You might think this scene does nothing. Like this is a pretty deft way to position this moment because it just seems like kind of a throwaway scene that actually has some deeper meaning at the end. Right, and I don't think that we've seen this side of Rahm necessarily. The idea that he's like the hapless younger brother of Quark who doesn't have that boss status

and gets into trouble a bunch is well established, but the idea that he has a role in the bar that Quart can't do is pretty interesting. He's the handyman. He fixes the things when they break. And there's a lot of things in Quart's bar that are technically complicated and need to be maintained and overseen. Jake thought Nog was joking about joining Starfleet, Ben.

Yeah. Yeah, Jake got it. That's tough when one person thinks the other person was joking and they weren't. That's a sick burn. Oh, you were serious about asking Alyssa out? Fuck, dude. If I'd known, I wouldn't have asked her out myself. Nog has the Alyssa problem.

Yeah. I'm not sure here. Cause Jake comes in like as this replicator fix is going on and he's like, my dad was telling me about that bit you were trying on him. That's a good bit. You're always doing bits, no? All I do is bits, bits, bits.

No matter what. But to your credit, no, you also tip really well. Like you left that huge sack of Latin on his desk. That was nice of you. Two Epsin' Aroh were given a Jake Nog story line where I thought they were better friends than this. They seem to be more acquaintances, really. I wonder about friendships sometimes,

because I tend to form very like deep friendships with people. Oh yeah, the deepest. I have lots of friends who I see their social scene and they have a million friends and I'm like, how do you do what I do with you with all of these people? Well, the answer is they don't.

Yeah, exactly. Cause you go deep, Ben. But Jake and Nug are like besties from all outward appearances. And also don't have a lot of other kids their age to hang around with and have, you know, healthy adult friendly relationships that aren't like super deep and intense

the way all of my relationships appear to have to be. Right. I really envy people that can do just like, the way all of my relationships appear to have to be. Right. I really envy people that can do just like, I'm friends with that person and like, full stop, you know. It's not, I'm friends with that person and also like, I started a podcast with them and now I'm in business with them. It's all you know how to do.

Yeah, it's, I'm saying that I- You're not friends with anyone you don't have podcast with. Right, and I'm saying that's a big problem. It's a I'm saying that anyone you don't have podcasts with right and I'm saying that's a big problem You clearly need more podcasts so you can get more friends. I do have no friends I have to revert back to my dead state. Oh, I don't use the bucket anymore. Back on the moon, Odo is inside the meek-on tinkering around trying to get the ship to beam Kyra out of the caves. And the computer is telling him it's not possible for a variety of star Trek reasons.

It's not only possible not to beam around, it's not possible to send a distress signal, it is possible to send a probe. Yeah, so that's what he does. It's one of those fun side effects of the run-upout era of Star Trek, which is like, this would all be like, Jordy and Data and maybe O'Brien, like talking about what's possible in this situation, like doing techno exposition and instead, Odo has to have this conversation with Siri. Is there any way to achieve a transporter lock in this kind of ionization field? Here's what I found on the web for, is there any way to achieve transporter like in this

kind of annexation field? It's a version of that that I thought, like it's so weird to see Odo triage the situation by asking a bunch of questions before finally going, how should I solve this problem? And it seems like that might be the first question to ask, which is a question he finally ends up asking, which is like, if you were in these circumstances, what would you do to get a message out?

And the probe ends up being the answer. Computer, I know we don't get along all the time, but like, I really need some help in this situation. Ha ha ha. Computer, I have 40 seconds of time to take up in this episode, so I'm gonna need to go back and forth with you a little bit to feel time. We need to get to that commercial break.

Yeah. We get a fun probe launch moment here. That's a fun sound. Problanche confirmed. We can feel and hear it leaving the hull of the ship, which is presumably just like sitting on the surface of this asteroid. And then Odo is back down in the caves and he has to come running because he hears some shots getting licked in the atmosphere. It should be Starfleet policy to drop the probe before you take your runabout to the surface, right?

Yeah, I thought a lot about that. Like before they enter the interference of this moon in orbit of a gas giant, they did not think to like give an update on their position or, you know, when you go on like a multi-day hike in a national park, you're supposed to like leave your hiking plan at the Ranger Station before you do it. So if you get lost, like they know to go look for you. I mean, they should be designing these run-up outs so that the saucer section can separate from the drive section. That way there's always something in orbit waiting for you. Yeah. But when he comes back to Kira, she has been in a fire fight. The make-wease is also running

around in these Star Trek caves. And he came out and they kind of had like a scooby-doo bumping into the ghost moment where they were both terrified and he shot at her and she shot at him There's phasor holes in the walls to prove it and I thought it was interesting that Odo didn't immediately run after this dude She's like he went down that tunnel and like we just heard the sound but yeah instead of like pursuing the guy He just hangs out and we fade to commercial. What do you do a no-do he can stay with kira and chase him that's the thing like he could throw a hand. Like forty feet down a cave like like he can he can stretch run down there dude you can be in two places at once you can be in ten places at once. Run down there, dude. You can be in two places at once. You can be in ten places at once.

A real problem with this. But he remains with Kira, and that's going to be a theme throughout. It's an episode where we see Odo turn himself into a jumbo-sized tent to prevent rocks from falling on Kira. We've seen rocks fall on Odo and him be hurt because of it. Yeah. Yeah. In these very caves, in the same place. Yeah, wait, so in this episode, I'm fine. What are the rules here?

I just want to know, is this something I learned when I went and for armed fucked that lady on my home world? It churren't seem like the lesson from that scene was that I should be using protection. I mean, I suggested it at first and she said, no, it feels so much better without... And I was like, damn girl, you're off the hook. This episode does a thing that we love about submarine movies, right? When the water floods your compartment, the water level rises and you're running out of air.

This is sort of a thing that's happening in the Kira in the scene, except it's not water, it's this rock. Yeah, and it's done slowly. Like the rising tension of the scene is physically represented by the increasing size of this rock. Every time they cut back, it's a little bit bigger. It's taken up more of her body. And that's pretty fun.

Yeah. But not so fun that we can't play the slide whistle a little bit, right? Yeah, would you like it to be more fun? Ben, almost excruciatingly fun. There's a fun little moment where Cisco and Bashir are just walking around and they're talking about how a male engine of some alien race is like about to have babies. He's got, I don't know, he's pupating or something like that. And, and Bashir and O'Brien are throwing him a baby shower. Carrick is making baby clothes.

You think they're gonna have a pup at show? That's that. Oh, God. Party. No. No. No. No.

I'm looking at the judges table and I'm seeing some nods. Yeah, that's the Russian judge. You really want that guy's approval? You guys bought and paid for Adam by you. In Soviet Russia, Metamorphosis is humor. Very funny. Cisco does that thing where he's like, well, I don't want to, like, think about, you know, go through the emotional journey of thinking of a good gift for somebody. So I'm just going to pay for half of whatever you get. Come me in. I sell it.

Instant prime. Yeah, that's not a good move, Cisco. Cisco, who has a sack full of latinum and could potentially afford anything in the gift shop. Yeah, I mean, like, I will admit to having pulled this move several times in my life, specifically in the case of like my mom telling me something my dad really wants and she already bought it. And I'm like, well, that's so much better than anything I would think of for my dad because my dad is very hard to buy a gift for. What if I paid for half of it, you know?

Also if you're like a degree of separation from someone, it might be weird if you got them a super thoughtful gift and you didn't really know them that well. Like that's a circumstance where you'd want to go in on a gift with some people who do. Yeah, Ensign Pren is like sitting there opening up gifts going, oh, that's so thoughtful. And then like Cisco's gift comes around and it's like a fucking arrow with the heart of Ensign brands needs and wants. And Ensign has to turn. Yeah, let's do much. Turn to a man who is like three or four command levels above him and go like, how did

you know? I have a story germane to this. Yeah. So I went to high school with some people. It's not how I'd want to start that story. A girl I went to high school with that I is not how I'd want to start that story Girl I went to high school with that I liked quite a bit, but just as a friend Like I don't know how I don't know when this starts after high school But she was one of the first of my high school friends to get married

Uh-huh, and this is this is a significant part of the story because This is a wedding that I was invited to but could not attend for some reason and yet, you know, like there's a registry and there's There's gifts on the registry or there's often a part of the registry that's just like hey contribute to the honeymoon like that's that's a good thing to do Yeah, we did it that way at my wedding and The only physical gift we got was a dear friend of ours who couldn't make it and his wife sent us a kitchen aid friend of ours who couldn't make it and his wife sent us a kitchen-aid mixer, which is like one of the most classic wedding presents, but it was also something that I really desperately wanted

for such a long time. And it was like, I was so fucking glad that they sent it to me. It was like, I was like, yes, finally! I will finally make bread and sausage. Is that what you wrote in the thank you note? Mm-hmm. So this girl is one of the first. And so this kind of puts a person into a bind,

which is, Right. Like I'm not going. And so my not going hasn't, has encouraged me to maybe be more generous than I might be if I weren't. For whatever reason, I had gone to many weddings. I don't know what to do.

Yeah, we hadn't learned the rules yet in those early weddings. And so I was like, I mean, I had a job. I think this was post-college, but very early post-college. And I was like, well, I mean, I have a job. I don't know what the proper amount to give is, so I guess I guess I'll give $150.

Yeah. And this evidently was too much. And I only heard about this later. Like, and I'm not, look, I want to be clear. I'm not bragging about giving a generous cash gift to a friend. That's not what the story is about. It's about your generosity being misplaced in a way that friends of hers were like, so what was that about?

That was extremely generous. What is the message that you're trying to send? You must be saying something if you're trying to send like you must be saying something if you're being that generous yeah and so like I it was an immediate like I didn't I didn't know I don't know what the right number is and I and I still don't in in many ways but like that when we're talking about like gifts you give for people that you sort of know. And not really knowing how overboard to be, like I think Cisco's being smart as the commander of the station maybe stepping away

from this a little bit and leaving it up to someone else to decide. Cisco runs into Nog and Nog is like, hey, listen, like I know that Jake has been talking a lot of shit about how I'm not serious about this. Let me disabuse you of this. I fucking am. Like do something, like put me through my paces.

Let me prove it to you, man. Just give me a chance. It's a fun thought experiment. Like if someone wanted to prove themselves to you as worthy of Starfleet, what do you have them do? Right, like, and I would have thought that Cisco, having now memorized the rules of acquisition, would have given Nog something that isn't the Starfleet test on easy mode. He throws it right in the strike zone.

He gives Nog the job of inventory a cargo bay. He talks to Dax about this, like, hey, what about cargo bay four or whatever, and she's like, we just didn't inventory it. We don't really need it inventory to again and he said I want not to do it. I just want to see what he comes up with and she kind of pushes back she's like this guy is like kind of a criminal element on the station are we gonna really like put him alone in a room with a bunch of valuable starfleet material. Yeah it's great point, but sis goes like shut up, DAX. We're gonna make him do an inventory

Back to the cave. Kira is now wearing a rock skirt Not be gone, not be gone, not be gone, not be gone, not be gone. Exactly. Back to the cave. Kira is now wearing a rock skirt. It's kind of up to waist level. Sort of an empire waist rock skirt. Odo is like puzzling through like how do we solve for rock skirt. And he is, you know, he's like tricordering. It's rock skirt is N is, you know, he's like, try quartering it. If rock skirt is N, what is, what is V?

Yeah. And it's kind of like, I like the way they've set this puzzle up, right? Like she is very vulnerable if the make-waste comes back. So we can't really leave her without putting her in a good deal of danger. I love that she keeps carrying the phaser though. That's fun. Yeah. There's no communications with anybody who can come and rescue them.

There's no O'Brien. There's no Jordi. Nobody can help Odo puzzle through this problem. It's a bit like the episode where Worf is caught in a time-rift and this is not a conundrum that plays to Worf's strength. The idea that Kira is caught in a in a science problem is not really Odo's Mitchie. I'm sorry, what does that mean? It's not his area of expertise. That's not a thing that you put on a cracker.

Oh, no. Luckily, May just have a Deus Ex machine a device and they're on about. They could help this situation, a vibrator, right? A band of Norsekin raiders broke into their central museum by using a high frequency ultrasonic generator to create a sympathetic vibration inside the webbing and shatter it. He's thinking like they must have something that they can use to resonate this crystal into busting up. Starfleet has a proud history of using resonance frequencies to bust up large crystals, right?

I guess so, yeah, the time that they kill the unique species in the galaxy. Yeah, they don't seem to have that amount of care about the thing crawling up Kira's leg, though. Listen, killing crystalline entities is kind of starfully stuck on trade, so I'm going to go get the crystalline entity killer from the runabout. We keep one in every glove box. So, like we crosscut back and forth a couple of times, there's nog doing the inventory, there's Odo getting the machine up and running.

There's Odo telling Kira a story, having to do with O'Brien's interest in kayaking. Like, there's a lot of, when Timmy gets trapped in a well He wants to hear a story like to keep him calm and that's what Kira like Kira's mask of Calm a plum has sort of slipped like she's truly scared at this point and she needs Odo to To make her feel better and the danger of this situation is getting worse, not better. And that's a big deal. Talk to me, Odo. Helps pass the time. The, uh,

Chief and I are supposed to go kayaking together. We've heard a lot about Chief O'Brien's kayaking enthusiasm. It's really fun to picture Odo being a, like, it's kind of, it kind of describes them as having a pretty great friendship that I don't know that we've seen depicted on screen much. But also it's described as like, O'Brien has almost like, he keeps taking kayaking back after kayaking kicks his ass every time. He can't come until he's kayaked. He's like, he like goes into the hollow suite and there's a kayak there and he says,

I wish I knew how to quit you. I love the modesty of Odo saying like, yeah, the kayak program is very hard. As if Odo is not both Odo with a kayak and the ore and as if it were possible to capsize him. Ever. Yeah. Like, you can't flip Odo over. He's just gonna, like his body's gonna pop

through the other side. It's such a weird scene. And we also find out that O'Brien has been giving Odo like mystery novels to read. Like their best buds apparently. All of a sudden they're best buds. Yeah, I hate that this is happening off screen. That's not cool.

I wanna see that shit. I wanna see friendships. Give us, this is happening off screen. That's not cool. I want to see that shit. I want to see friendships Give us that is the B story Just Odo. Odo's like all right. I'm gonna come back to this cave, but I got to go back O'Brien and I have a hollow sweet date and I don't want to miss it You know I read one of the reasons we're not seeing O'Brien much in the last few episodes is that he was in the middle of a Contract dispute and many people thought that he was thinking the middle of a contract dispute. And many people thought that he was thinking of pivoting to movies because he had done quite a few up to this

moment. It's, yeah. It's an item that, that Calla Mini disputes the accuracy of. He says he was always into DS9 and would have stayed through the end regardless. But a little bit of what you read about DS9 around the season is that is that the reason for column meetings like Calla meanies either in an episode the entire time or he's like taking Nog and Tassisco's quarters and that's all you see of him right so Auto turns himself into a rock umbrella saves Kira in a demonstration of his of his goo skills That's pretty fun. Yeah, but it's like, um, you know that episode

where Picard is describing how, how deep and shit they are to riker by just like showing his hand at different levels on his body. Right. Kira is now in like, basically we have broken the prime directive level. Right. She, she is rock up to her neck.

And she's pretty despondent at this point. Nanna visitor is an actor uniquely suited for this. And I wonder how much of this is real, because she's known for being claustrophobic. And so I wonder how much of this reads as real because it is. I wonder, yeah, I mean, I wonder if this triggers that, given that it's probably just like a rubber rock that she's able to like step into and step out of.

Yeah, I wonder if there's even a backside to this thing, to be honest. Yeah, they definitely don't reveal anything that would betray it being just a fake rock, but there's a couple of moments where they cut it in close-under face and the rubberiness of it is is betrayed a little bit. Not a great rock, you guys. Yeah, the the the rock design department failed a little bit here, but despite that like the

motion effects on it are really good. Like every it grows. It's like wow that looks pretty good I mean they deploy cutaways and cutbacks that help like they don't have to lean too much on the effect Which is good. Yeah, that's that helps You know, it is a great success Ben is is nox inventory of the cargo bay if you didn't five hours He did it in five hours and he did it better than the people that did it before him. If you're asking if you stole anything, the answer is no. He even found some things we missed in our last inventory. It's really a credit to his dedication and Cisco and DAX are like having some fruit salads with each other and really super duper impressed with what he did.

Is that a euphemism or are they actually having fruit salad? Yeah, did you not see that? They have like sushi plates with bananas and grape fruits cut up on them. You know, sometimes after a good shower, introducing some fruit salad to the situation can be fun. I don't know. I try to keep food away from my business meetings

about whether a potential recruit is good. Ben, missed opportunity here to either show us to reveal that Nog is either truly great at doing inventory or he cheated or whatever. Like the fact that the inventory was done is the thing, but I wish we knew the truth of it. I think the point is that, you know, he's good with numbers, like this is... Yeah, like there's no evidence that he cheated and DAX makes that pretty clear. Right, it's a change up in the strike zone. Like he's fucking, he fucking got a task that

particularly played to his strengths. And, you know, well, we have talked a little bit about how the cut back and forths are not great in this episode. We now cut to a fairly protracted scene with Kira and Odo in the Star Trek cave where we get to see them interact for quite a while. And it's up to the neck rock. She is just looking for comfort at this point. They've sort of dispaired of the idea of saving her now. Yeah. And they start to have a pretty intense interaction here.

And Odo is trying to cheer her up by telling her a story about how his name means nothing in Cardassian and how the, you know, how it was applied to his like sample jar that he was originally in and then was something that he felt very insulted by for a long time until he developed friends and deep relationships on deep space 9 and now it is something that he feels proud of and feels identified with. There's an urgency at work here, which is the urgency of running out of time to tell someone that you like all the things you want to tell them. This is a thing that Kira actually did at the end of the episode before this, and

now it's being visited on her now. Yeah, the plane is going down, and there are only moments left. Yeah, she's the Vedic baryle in this scene, and Odo is the Kira. It's so interesting that these two episodes are right next to each other. Yeah. Nugheavy storylines, the Kira heavy storylines, the idea that somebody that this beloved is going away, and that's the really intense thing in the scene, and it's a scene that I think would be so much more effective if it wasn't broken up by a commercial break. Yeah. Like there's a fade out and fade back up when you watch it on streaming that I really feel like it harms the effectiveness of the scene. I'm telling you to take the run about.

Get the hell off this bone. That's an order. It's back. Big is back because bigger is better. 6,000 SUX and American tradition. I don't really know this solution to the puzzle because television is always trying to give you a moment of suspense to keep you through the commercial break.

I think the solution is just like not having commercials, you know, but the scene I think would be such a great, like it's a solid five minutes of them talking back and forth, but you've got to watch like an Arby's commercial in the middle of it. We have the meats. Odo is taken to his knees with the confession of his love for Kira.

And then immediately after Kira, she's like, I wish I could also get to my knees, but I'm stuck in this rock. Kira says that she's in love with him too. Yeah. What? And that clings in retrospect, but in the moment, like, she plays it so sincerely, and it is like the only thing he wants to hear. She almost works against what that line represents because her performance is so strong.

Yeah. You really want to do this here. Now, okay, okay, let's do it. Now, having comported himself well, comes back to Commander Sisko, Sisko checks the sack of Latinum at him. Then he kind of does something that famously, what a rabbi does, if Gentile comes and says they want to convert to Judaism,

which is he says, you don't really want to do that. And then I'm not going to help you. That's a famous thing. Yeah. People know that. I didn't know that. It's a famous thing. Yeah. People know that. I didn't know that. It's a major storyline in Sex and the City, Adam. When Shardug tries to convert.

My name is Charlotte York, and I'm here today because I would like to consider joining the Jewish faith. We're not interested. I don't remember that. I thought you were familiar with all of Kyle with Glock Loss work. I remember shooting the episodes. I don't remember that. I thought you were familiar with all of Kyle McLaughlin's work. I remember shooting the episodes. I don't remember much about the stories. Cisco really challenges them here.

Come on, knock, tell me. Why is this so damn important that you get into Starfleet? Why are you doing this? It's a real, I learned it by watching you dad kind of break down, right? Like, Cisco breaks Nog here. Yeah. Because Cisco nags the shit out of him. Yeah, and Nog has to prove his commitment to the idea.

I need to report a very rude man. I was just saying that my name is Charlotte York, and I would like to consider joining the Jewish family. And his commitment comes from a place of real paythos. Like, I don't want to, I don't want to be a loser like my dad is basically the motivation. This is such a great scene. It's a scene between someone that we know

to be one of the great actors in Star Trek. Like, Avery Brooks is not only just a great actor on his own, but like other actors love Avery Brooks as an actor. Like, he's like on the love Avery Brooks as an actor. Like he's like on the mountain of Star Trek actors. Yeah. The scene was so amazing to me that I did a little bit of research and I was like, what is the story here?

The guy who plays, the guy who plays Nog is Aaron Eisenberg. Is Aaron Eisenberg? And he said, this is his favorite scene of his entire acting career. And it's because when you act across Avery Brooks, he is so generous as a performer that like, he's shooting actor eyes into your eyes that like make you raise your game.

And I guess the moment where Avery Brooks grabbed him and like shook him and was like, why do you want to do that? Like that was not in the script. That's Avery Brooks knowing what Eisenberg needed in that moment as a gift. Like he's giving that moment to Aaron Eisenberg as an actor and like making him react emotionally to something there that he never would have done spontaneously. And so when he looked back on his career, he's like, that's the moment where I became an actor, for real. That's my favorite part in my career.

Yeah. And you can see it. It's a hell of a scene. I mean, it comes rushing like a broken dam. It comes rushing down saying, you know, my dad is great at something, but it is not the thing that you need to be great at to be considered a great foreignge. And because he is trapped in this ideology, he is stuck pretending he is a businessman when he's really an engineer. And I know I I can see a future for myself where I live in that kind of ignominy and I don't want it. I want to be the best thing I can be.

And if that doesn't line up with for angry values, then fuck it. There's such pathos in like being inspired not by something that's better than you, but instead by something that's worse. Yeah. And Nag really lives in it here. It's a great scene. Hello, Vesin. And Cisco gives him the shot. Yeah, he's going to write that letter. So presumably we'll get to see Nag take his Kobayashi Maru test at some point. Where's Nog gonna wear his badge you think? Right on his dick. That's that's pretty low, man.

I don't know. That might be too low. I mean, like, but in terms of like real inches, right where Calhudson had it. We're talking about nothing but real inches on this show. Yeah. We're talking about nothing but real inches on this show. Back on the moon base, Kira is now face deep in the crystal. The things that she has said to Odo have made him suspicious of their circumstances. He's starting to have one of those usual suspects style realizations where he looks at the

phaser blast behind Kira inside the rock. He starts thinking a little bit more about why she told him that she loved him. It's tough not adding up, like with respect to the Mayquise, and then he starts like lashing out at her. Yeah, I mean, it's an interesting scene because they've been peppering hints of this in a few times, like where he said, I don't get what's going on here, and then that kind of abandoned the feeling that he has identified something that he should be suspicious of in order to comfort Kyra, but now he has identified a pattern.

And he's saying, like, this doesn't make any sense. You lied to me when you said the make-wee shot at you. Like, I'm looking at the angles and there's just no way that those scorch marks from the phaser happened if he was standing where you said he was standing. And also, you lied to me when you said you loved me. And again, Adam, second episode in a row, somebody calls a pejora and a human. He says, I study human nature and I saw that you lied to me in that moment. Find that remark insulting. This is 1995. We know find and replace exists. Yeah. All references to the H word should be expunged from this dialogue. And he says humanoid

all the time. Just have him say, I study humanoid nature. It's something he says so often, you could probably do it in post. Like at the, like, like loop it. Get the OTS shot and drop that clip in, you know? Yeah, I agreed. Doesn't have to be this way. Yeah.

Well, Oto does something that we almost never see him do, which is he raises a gun on Kira. And she gets a big S.E.G. and then she morphs into Change Leader. So Change Leader's plan was to make Odo think Kira had died. Change Leader is by far the worst name for a character that I've ever coined. It's so much worse than Rom Yarlin. And yet female changeling is the name of the character on the show, which is worse, worse than change leader by a country mile. Her nefarious plan is to make Odo think Kira had died and thus give him nothing to stay

on DS9 for so that he'd return to the great golden shower in the sky. She also thought that she could kind of get to the bottom of what was what has been motivating him to not join the great link and She suspected that Kira was a part of it and now she knows that Odo sweats Kira big time Yeah, which might be the most dangerous information that she has on him. Yeah, it's a pretty great done, done, done. Of all the ways that Odo has been hurt on this show,

her saying she's never going to love you as he walks away is just one of the worst. Yeah. That is fucking rugged. It's really rugged. It's a classic changeling technique at this point to trick people into shit while keeping them in caves.

Yeah. And also like this whole sequence, like if you play it back in your head like this, will you help me get this couch into this cave? Just just get into cave and help me help me push it to the back get ready all lower some lotion down to you This whole episode like he's been like scanning her and like Bombarding her with sounds or something it really reveals that she is like incredibly powerful because she fooled him for Kira plus rock and also fooled the tricorder.

Like, he was scanning her and stuff. Yeah. It makes it all red as normal. It means that she is like a billion times better at changeling than he is. And also phaser proof, right? Because they shot her as a rock. Well, she shot herself as a rock, though. Oh, right.

So, see, that's tapping the side of your head meme right there. Yeah, well, here I'm in a galaxy brain, you. Was he really holding a phaser at the end or was that a piece of her? Is her technique so strong that she can break parts of herself away? Yeah, like if he'd run down the tunnel and caught the maquise, would it have been a part of her?

Wow, I love that. I love that she's that strong in her powers. Well, he runs and finds Kira in a stasis box and a rescues her. And then back on the station, they have a brief conversation where, you know, like the story he's told her is not the whole truth because he cannot reveal the torchy bears for her. Yeah, I mean, she's impressed at the story that she knows about, which is that he inferred that his circumstances weren't real. Yeah, he's like, I knew that she wasn't really Bedroren when I asked her how many glasses she wanted

and she held up her thumb, forefinger, and middle finger and not her index finger, her middle finger, and her ring finger. I mean, it's natural to be curious about the thing that either does or does not give you away as your real self. Yeah. She does not interrogate this any further though. No. More and more and more.

More and more. Stay sweet. More and more. More and more. Do you hear everybody? More and more. Stop. Hammer time.

The button on the episode is a, uh, is a Farenki hijinks scene. It is quirk condemning and forbidding Nog for having attempted to join Starfleet. And it seems like quirk is kind of in charge of Nog in this scene. And then Ram kind of jumps in and shuts quirk shit down. He's like, you know, you might be the owner and boss of this bar, but I'm the dad of that boy, and I give him my blessing. And Core kind of throws his hands up, and there's a very sweet moment between Nog and Ram at the end, where, you know, Nog's, the whole thing motivating Nog to get into Starfleet was a feeling that his father was inadequate or a failure or a person he did not want to emulate and Rom shows a tremendous strength in this moment that makes him

a much more complicated character than just the punching bag that he could have been if this was not as well written as it is. Yeah, I never thought it would be possible for Rom to elicit emotion for me through action or emotion of his own. And he totally does. This is a great scene for him. Yeah, it's like, like he has been such a punchline the entire time. And suddenly it's like oh shit like he actually has a lot to offer in terms of like his emotional truth. But did this episode have a lot to offer you, Ben, in a did you like it kind of context? Boy, there's a lot fun about this episode.

It's a pretty lean episode. It's really, I mean, you know, just dragging my pointer along the timeline. Like so much of it is just a scene between Odo and Kira. Yeah. And they are two great actors that are, you know, really playing to their strengths in these scenes in a way that I think is fun and great. It's a bit of a directed by M. Knight Shyamalan twist ending

that is not that satisfying in the way of like, okay, we've seen the M Night Shyamalan twist ending four times. Are we really going for a fifth dude kind of way? Yeah. And I think that the powers of the changelings that are established in this episode present a real danger to Star Trek writers because So, I would say that it's a soft like for me, but also I am worried about changing shenanigans going forward. How about yourself? I like the episode for the same reasons. I think that's a great idea. I think that's a great idea. I think that's a great idea. I think that's a great idea.

I think that's a great idea. I think that's a great idea. I think that's a great idea. about changing shenanigans going forward. How about yourself? I like the episode for the same reasons. I think I love that it's an episode that it's about grappling with who you are and what choices you have about what you become based on that. With two very different people,

with very different perspectives. Knock doesn't want to stay on the street that takes him to a conclusion that is predictable and sad. And then Odo is resisting the pole of a thing that he so far has been successful in resisting. And so they're sort of like they're symmetrically opposed in an interesting way, and you couldn't pick two more different characters to embody those feelings. So I thought it was a strong ep.

I just wish it felt a little more dangerous. Like when it's time to feel danger, I didn't feel true danger. Like I wanted more alone time with Kira because I think whether or not it's actually her, the moments where we're supposed to believe that, I think it would be good to be alone with her and alone in that fear. And all we ever see of her is with Odo.

And Odo makes you feel safe when you're with him as a character. That's sort of what he does. But like, what if they discovered that the entire cave was filled with cocoon dailyans that were their previous to curious situation? Like that is in... Right. That's the TNG version of this story is like there are crystals that have killed thousands that have come down here before

and we're gonna have to be the first people figure out a way out of this. Yeah, TNG played with the scale of a problem a little differently in a way that I might have appreciated more here, but episode still work, though. Yeah. And I like a version of photo that's motivated by love. Like, and that is a very strange motivation for him to try on. So, I mean, there are some things that I

hope that are taken away from this. I love that they've name checked Odo's relationship with Kirin now. Like we've seen it implied heavily so far. And now it's come out of his mouth. Yeah, it's true. It's real. It's real if someone says it. Is the Sam to her Diane, you know. Yeah, let's see if a Sam or Diane has sent in a priority one message, Ben. Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel.

Need a supplement on it. A supplement on it? A supplement. Yes, extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. And my first message is for Joe. And it is from Mike. It goes like this.

Dental plan. Did the call drop? A year. No. That's the end of the message. It's a two-worder. It's a dental plan exclamation point is the entirety of the, I mean, they had 350 characters to use. They chose not to.

Ben, I may be wrong, but I think that's a new record for the US number of words. Yeah. Two words and a punctuation is the new low. I mean, I feel like at some point, somebody's just gonna send a pre-1 that is just the word fuck, but this is not that day.

This is just the words dental and plan. No one would ever send a priority one message with that starts with the word fuck that doesn't end in plevim or razz though. Or bokay. Right. Our second priority one message is from Kyle and Adria. Messages for Scott and Bess, the message goes like this. Oh, it's got a uh, it's got a script note here. It's got a parenthetical. It's got a Riley. Yeah, it says, please read as Kevin. So here we go. I think Kevin's doing more of our messages than we are these days.

Scared and bash. Congratulations on your recent marriage. I know it was Doctor Who themed on the outside, but it was great a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- Whoa. That's a great reasonable. Wow, what a couple's real dough look like. Like would it just be conjoined? Or would it be like some attributes of one and some attributes of the other? I just think there would be holes in dicks of plenty and it might not be even humanoid, necessarily.

I like the idea that your real dough would be like a croninburg monstrosity of like just dicks and assholes and vaginas. Kevin would be like, what the frick is this? Is this gonna have the keyboard of a mechanical typewriter? Okay. Okay. Okay.

That shit I'm retiring. F**k this shit. Oh no Kevin, don't go, you're the star of our show. We can't do P1s without Kevin, and we can't do the show without you. Yeah, you got a maximum fun to add or exclash jumbo tron to buy a priority one message. It's a 100 bucks for a personal message and 200 for a commercial. And it's a great way to support the production of this program. Gotta get that, get that gold press, that, get that, get that, gold press, that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get that, get A Greatest Gen Live Show is something you don't want to miss.

Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it! The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places.

Go to greatestgentour.com to get more info. That's greatestgentour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer.

My friend Molly and I call it having the space weirds. Pat Noswald. Could I get a ball-rock burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Non-Giani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are already open, just pull it out.

Give Jordan Jesse Goat try. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, rats, hey, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to found you a lion. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line. And, boy, what a lion? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not and they've such short neck. But I'm hearing we need to get on this

all. Gotta get on the art. Yeah. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came to by two. What do you think?

Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. And I might have a quick question here. Make it snappy. Do you have a drunk shimoda? I do have a drunk shimoda, Ben. My drunk shimoda is Ben Sisko. He seems to be getting more latitude on DS9 than any other commanding officer we've ever seen. And I kinda like it.

There is a process for incoming Starfleet cadets. Sure. But Cisco has the latitude to put nog to the test. He's able to plant him on a sety alpha planet to see if he grows. Like he's way off in the country able to make these decisions, even when people like Dax argue against them.

So I think for the ability to be a chaos agent for good, even, I think Cisco's gonna be my Shimoda for this episode. What about you? It doesn't play a large role in this episode, but my drug Shimoda is Chifo Brian. And, you know, Shimoda is a character that's having a great time. And the fun hangs that O'Brien is repthuted to have gotten into in this episode,

really make me like him. Like, he is kayaking. He's like out there making friends and writing people to do things. Like, he's really making himself vulnerable and forging new friendships. And the fact that he and Odo are like exchanging literature to read and going on kayaking adventures together.

Just makes it seem like Chief O'Brien is a real fun dude. He's trying. In an absence of Kiko, he's trying to make new friends. I think that's good. It's something I admire. I've been living in Los Angeles for about a year and I think I need to take a page from O'Brien's book. Like get out there, make some new friends.

Yeah, find some people to do bits with. Yeah. Just don't become closer friends with them than me. You have a real problem. Yeah, our podcast could get a real strain on it. I'm very possessive. And if you start doing podcasts with all these new friends you're making, that's going to be a problem for greatest

gen. Because you won't have enough time. I had one thing I do have time for is playing a board game where we learn about the next episode we're gonna watch and then we determine how we are going to watch it. That's right, Bennett. Game of Buttholes will have the profits. Our runabout is currently on square 33. It's not an orbit of Philip Aloo's head, but it's it's it's proximate to that head. Yeah, it's also proximate

to a Quirks bar. It could be a it could be a big deal. It could be the first Quirks bar since we unveiled the the new version of the board game, which can be viewed at gach.bis-lash-game. Why don't you tell me what episode we're going to be watching? Okay, the episode that is coming up at him is Deep Space 9 Season 3 episode 15 Destiny. Cisco is excited about working with two Cardassians scientists who are assigned to help deploy a subspace relay in the Gamma Quadrant. And if that wasn't scintillating enough to entice you to watch that episode, another streaming service described it as follows.

Cisco ignores an ancient, pejoran of doom, in order to undertake a joint scientific venture with the Kardashians. Stakes is high here in the other streaming service. I've seen a lot of people, I mean, we've already admitted that the first one we usually read is Netflix. Second, we usually read as Amazon Prime. I've seen screen grabs of people like texting friends that work at Netflix like what gives

with your episode descriptions for Deep Space 9 and like the friends texting bag like, oh, I'm going to whip this team into shape and get on it. So it's possible that these protestations that we've put out there are being heard, but it is. I'm feeling that that's a low-level job, and I certainly hope that there are not actual whips being employed in making that situation better. Yeah, and I don't really want to be doing bits when tips are on the line, so I hope it's at a tipped position at Netflix that writes episode descriptions.

I mean, I'm not much for a whip, but I, uh, I could get into a Na Na. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. Adam, you want me to roll this virtual bone? Do it, please. Do it, please. Oh, man, I have jumped over. Both Phillipa and Quark. I've rolled a four. Chula! Did I win?

Harvey! I thought for sure we were gonna get one of those. I'm on, uh, I'm on square 37, Adam. It's a regular old episode. Safe and sound. I feel like probability is working differently this season. Yeah, I think so too. What the hell is going on here?

There is still plenty of board left and not only that, plenty of space buttholes to drag us back down to the bottom. That's true. The lions share of the space buttholes are still ahead. And one of them is in rolling distance. Right. So that could happen. Well, one of the things that makes us feel safe and happy are the myriad friends of DeSoto. Friends of DeSoto, especially, that go to maximumfund.org slash donate and help support the show.

That's one of the great things you can do. You can also leave a nice review on whatever podcast app you use, especially Apple Podcasts. Nice reviews on there, help us rise in the algorithmic ranks and get the show in front of other people who might not have heard of it. And speaking of people who might not have heard of it, tell a friend about our show. That's also one of the best ways there is to help grow the show and build this big tent that is the Friends of Desotto. Yeah, that's analog help, right? Yeah.

That's old school help in the show. Do it both ways, you know. Show your proficiency with both. Yeah, take a good shower and do it both ways. Yeah. At least to thank our buddy Adam Ragusia who's made a ton of original music for the show of course all inspired by the original Picard song by Dark Materia who we also really appreciate and we should thank all of the

folks that go online and tweet about the show using the hashtag greatest gen and go and join the Facebook and Reddit subs and Discord and Slack and all the different things out there that you can join. And also the wikia, you know, the gang that keeps the wikia going, there's a greatestgen.wikia.com. That is a living document that unpecks all of the jokes that we make on these episodes.

They're like, you know, if you're like, what is that a reference to? What are they saying? Why are they mispronouncing make-wease? Like, they will explain it to you. Like, you don't have to tweet at us and you're like, that's not how it's actually pronounced. You can go find out where that bit came from. You can find out where Six Bay came from.

You could stop yourself from getting muted right now. Like going over to those places. You sure good. Getting a little knowledge. Yeah. We, we would love to stop muting you. I just clicked on the Twitter as you were talking, Penn. And sure as shit, Bill Tilly has just posted brand new cards

for an episode that just came out. Bill Tilly, 1973 is his Twitter handle. Oh man. Jokes on top of jokes with that guy's work, and I love him. I love him too. I also love JJ Lendel, who's been making great one or T's level artistry movie posters for each episode of Deep Space Nine

and using the hashtag greatest gen to post him. Super fun to look at those. And he usually puts one up on Sunday, like the night before a new greatest gen to post him. Super fun to look at those. And he usually puts one up on Sunday, like the night before a new greatest gen episode comes out. And with that, we'll be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek, Deep Space Nine, in an episode of the greatest generation, Deep Space Nine, that remove the headstones, but left the bodies. You'll look at God of the universe, You'll look at God of the universe, You'll look at God of the universe, You'll look at God of the universe, Make it sound, make it sound.

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