The Greatest Generation - A Murder Weapon Waiting to Happen (S7E6)

Episode Date: July 26, 2017

When a new Warp Core is installed, Geordi and Data spend a surprising amount of time on the phone with tech support trying to get it running. The stress really gets to Data, causing him to have bizarre nightmares. Is that super 90’s guy at the conn during third shift now? What are gas prices like in the Federation these days? How hard is it to find an erotic bakery in LA? It’s the episode where we fill up a cup holder.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast.

I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranica. How's this morning find you Adam? I think this might be the record for earliest pod recording. What do you think? It's either the record or tied for the record. Yeah. I have not had coffee.

I'm looking at my coffee on my desk right now. So I think we will all experience me waking up together. Bold move. Yeah. Not great. I made a double hammerhead, which is two shots covered in cold brew coffee in a pint glass. So, you little Seattleites are so cute. Hopefully that pulls me up out of the smalays.

I've had coffee bang, bang, bang today. Really? Yeah, I had iced coffee at a coffee shop with my wife this morning, came home and made myself another iced coffee. I was walking around the house and I discovered an almost full cup of coffee that my wife had made and then left on a counter, which is her way. Yeah. I dumped that over some ice and drank that.

Oh yeah, you're not gonna dump that down the drain. That's perfectly coffee That's the best coffee there is. Yeah, very surprise coffee. You ever go over to John Roderick's house I would caution you Against against accepting his coffee because he is a man who never knows how long his coffee is set out God is how long his coffee is set out. Oh God. It's gonna be a career for a reality show on cable about people like that. There should be. I believe it's called Horders. Well Ben, I went down to the official greatest generation PO box

and turns out we have a package. Oh really? I've always wanted to look at your package. Shaman, I'm sorry to disturb you. I'm receiving a Code 47. Verify? It is Code 47, sir. Start lead emergency frequency. Captions eyes only. Ben, this express post cardboard envelope was sent to us from Mike H from Strathmore, Alberta. Whoa! International!

Mike using the official greatest generation PO box, not using either of our home addresses, because he's not creepy. Let's see what's inside. Woo! We have got official Star Trek stamps. Two packs of them Ben. That's two for me and maybe I'll give you one of these. Are these from the Canadian Postal Service?

Yeah, which means we couldn't use them even if we wanted to. Yeah, we can only collect them. You got your captains. It's the captains collection. You got your Kirk, your Picard, your Janeway, your Benzisco, and your Scout Backula. And there's a nice letter inside. Oh, wait. Oh, this isn't a letter.

This is a script. Oh, this isn't a letter. This is a script. Oh Man, oh he wrote a script that I should read when I open the package This is awesome. This is a one-pager, so I'm gonna go ahead and read it Interior studio one of our protagonists Adam Pranica read the page of script to our other hero, Ben Harrison, who appears via Skype. Adam, parenthetically, bemused. Check this out, Ben, it's from Mike, up in Canada. America's Hat! It goes like this. Dear Adam and Ben, I started watching this pod on episode 5 and I've been watching ever since. You guys keep me laughing, even with your quote unquote impressions,

and 2% level jokes. The community that surrounds the pot is equally fantastic. I've made good friends, had some great conversations, and some even better debate. Thanks to you that I've met those people. To sum it all up, in a word,S! And then it says, BEN! Ah, that's nice! Ah, that's nice! Adam, it goes on to say As a token of my esteem, Check these bad boys out!

The letter indicates that Mike has pointed At his testes! Adam had been laughed the rasses off! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Bad form by me Mike the great I recognized that I just didn't speak up because I expected you to have some long con bit Now now you should look if if I have done something dumb you should never assume bit you should just assume dumb Adam picks up another package. He sees it's a set of candid a post star Trek stamps He considers it a thoughtful and appropriate gift. And then we cut to interior office. Mike leans back in his chair, fingers tinted, satisfied that this stage of his nefarious

plan is succeeded. And picture him like data attempting his fingers that time the data got to be capped in for a little while. Yeah. Wow. Pretty great gift Mike. You give us the gift every day of your adjudication of our forum so thanks for that and thanks for the stamps. Yeah thanks Mike. You don't need to send us free stuff you do enough Mike. No chill out

dude. You deserve a break! I deserve a Coco No No, brother. Yeah. Well, Ben, I guess as we turn towards season 7, episode 6, we consider the many gifts the show has given us. Occasionally, when you open up a lot of gifts at one time you get the socks Mm, and I think maybe This one is that it's season seven episode six Phantasm I feel the situation is Maybe the David Lynch's episode we've gotten Ben.

Yeah, it is very David Lynch year. It opens right in dream sequence and you can tell because they got a wide ass lens on the camera. They're in love with the fish eye this season. I mean, this is very reminiscent of the last time day to head a dream. And they maybe tip their hand a little bit with this white ass lens.

I think it would have been fun to reveal that this was a dream, but it just hits you in the face right away, right? Especially because I tend to dream in standard non-fish eye lensing. So I think part of the fear of nightmares is that they is the versimilitude to real life, right? So maybe they're just helping out a dumb as a viewer.

I think that a lot of times in TV when a decision like this is made, it's for helping out a dumb. Adam, you know, when I dream sometimes it'll be on a wide lens only it's not a wide lens and I just know that it's not a wide lens. Really? Yeah. Because your dream and about work. You're like A-C-ing your own dream. If I was A-C-ing my own dream I would be a loader and I'd be flashing the film because I'm terrible at that. What do you dream about Adam?

I know that I dream intensely, but I don't remember them at all. I just wake up with a having teeth grinded feeling in the morning, like knowing that I have full of powder. Yeah, knowing that I've been through some shit in the middle of the night, but I really remember so few of them. And I'm a little envious of people who can remember their dreams with perfect accuracy, or even, okay, accuracy, because I just can't do that. I can't remember them that well anymore.

There was a time in college where I was dreaming in like flawless 5X structure and could remember my dreams like two or three times a week. And... Were you on any medication for that? Because sometimes I'll take Nike Will. And I guess I should say I do remember my dreams with horrifying detail when I take some sort of sleeping medicine. Leave a lot of things to be made.

Exit made. Right. That's not fun. Man, I- No, I can't say that I have taken any sleeping medicine. It's made me avoid Nquill because I would rather have a little bit of good sleep than a lot of night-hater sleep. Which is what that stuff does to me.

Well, this is kind of a freaky dream that data is having. There's guys that have ripped open a bulkhead and they're like taking hammer swing at a plasma conduit or something. Excuse me. Do you have authorization to work in this area? Why is it that when people swing hammers and sledge hammers on TV and film, they never look like they're actually

taking real swings? Because this guy on sledgehammer duty is like, he's not looking realistic in the process. All of the goodwill that this show earned in the episode where everybody had to stand super still is flushed right down the toilet in this episode when anybody swings a pick or a hammer. Yeah. Yeah, it's terrible. I think the problem is that they gave them real picks and hammers, so if they really swung them, they would destroy the set dressing. What they needed to do is cast the head of a sledgehammer and then make a foam dummy of it so that I could just swing away and have it bounce

off the surfaces of sitting. Yeah, it was difficult to enjoy the scenes of sledge hammer and knowing that there was no hammer shots actually happening. Yeah, I mean, I feel like a series of gifts of these guys hammering would really expose how flawed the execution of some of this stuff is. Yeah. These guys stand up when data interrupts them and rip his arm right off. Yeah, they sort of go in on them, right?

Yeah. They rip the arm and then they wing them around and then they cut again and it's clearly like they're just taking apart a mannequin. again and it's clearly like they're just taking a part of Manicin. And they rip off his head and produce the buried in San Francisco head, which is a prop I never thought we'd see that prop again. Yeah, leave that buried, guys. Yeah. Leave the buried in the past, please. The cold open ends with data like waking up in a cold sweat, in the cold sweat that he cannot have. A man who does not have to sleep, choosing to sleep because I guess there's

nothing to do on the ship. If you get time to sleep, data, you get time to clean. Used to be the guy who would captain during third shift. Yeah, who's on the bridge during swing? Is he off that duty now? I have no idea. I mean, that's like a wild thing, right? He was presumably on duty for two out of three shifts, where everybody else is just on

duty for one. Like, he moves down to ops when he gets relieved from captaining. Yeah. As they transition from third shift to first shift. Cut to Barnaby and he's like, God, this fucking sucks. I hate this new shift. All because Data's running a stupid dream experiment. We'll come back from our title sequence and we find out that the entrepreneur has been fitted with a new engine.

This is shit that I would have wanted to see. We have a deep, deep, deep B story, which is like Picard's been invited to a party that doesn't want to go to fuck all that. Throw that entire thing away. I want to see a new warp core being installed in the enterprise. In Europe, they cut out all the bits of it actually going in. I want also, like, we get another one of those great shots of the enterprise pulling away from a starbase.

Yeah. Starbase is so cool. Show me that shot once in episode and I'll be happy as a clam. You might say that Deep Space 9 is a definition of this but could there have been full episodes or full series set up board starbases? I think so. I think that would have been neat. The constant stream of ships in and out. The hood just malingering there forever. I think that's sort of what they're going for with DS9 and you know that

Like I feel like they got a little tired of it after the first few seasons of DS9 and then gave them a spaceship so that they could go space shipping around also. Yeah. But, uh... But like a Federation star base, like one that was built by the same minds that built the entrepreneur, would, uh, it is a fun setting. That's what I'm saying. Really gorgeous. Really cool. And so big. How many people live on that thing?

If there's a thousand on the entrepreneur, I think I must have millions of people living on it. It feels like when you cram that many people onto something, the stakes just get raised for any situation. Like suddenly the destruction of a starbase feels like what is that? Twentyfold. The destruction of a ship. Like that's major leagues right there. Yeah. Anyway, I mean we're seven seasons in. the destruction of a ship. That's major leagues right there.

Anyway, I mean, we're seven seasons in. I think we got the only episode that was really set aboard a starbase for any like the time was that Byners episode. But for the most part, that was it, right? What day at one when data had to defend his personhood? Oh, yeah. Well, that was like a conference room. That was a barely explored the setting. Yeah. I mean, I think the conference room is probably the least interesting part of a star-based

bin. But maybe they have some really great conference rooms there. Well, never know. Coming in 2018, Star Trek Conference Room. Written by the guys who brought you the greatest generation. Yeah. We're just two guys sitting in a writer's room

looking at each other across the table. Have you ever written a television series? No. Have you? No. But I criticize them all the time. Doesn't that make me just as good? Now an expert Just another asshole on the internet where assholes on the internet for whom the power has gone right to our heads

We yeah, this new warp core looks a little different, much like, you know, cars when they go through evolutions, they go from like round to a little more sleek. It looks like the door to where the dilithium crystals go has been, has been oblonged a little bit, right? And it's clean. Yeah, and it's got, it's got some like, I don't know, it kind of reminded me of like putting a smart watch on the, yeah. On the thing, it's got like a read out on the front of it. Yeah.

Some new shapes and stuff. Yeah, I mean, it's not like they replaced something with something that looks exactly alike. It looks a little different. Yeah. Which is why that's where the budget went. You don't want to make a guy a nerf sledgehammer. You want to build a new warp core.

I imagine the cost in the prop department of building that thing for having it just sitting there versus building that thing for being able to like move it around and lower it into place are fairly astronomically different. Yeah, probably. We set up a couple of things here. We set up that there's a cute engineering Ensign that sweats Jordy. Command in the forge?

Speaking of nightmares. Name of Ensign Tyler. This is just another kind of head scratcher of a romantic interlude for Jordy, which is a smoke and hot Ensign likes him. And sometimes that's been great for him him and other times he's like, Oh God, she has a crush on me, gross. What are you talking about? Why don't you like her?

I love that Jordy's position is like, well there must be something wrong with her if she likes me. But yeah, in every other way she seems great. Like, she's a little do-eyed about Jordy, but like, when you're crushing, you can't control that. You have such a wonderful grasp of engineering principles. Yeah, it's hard to control. Data is just as perplexed as we are as to why Jordy isn't excited about this situation.

Data's like that guy who doesn't want to lose his best friend to a relationship. He's like, he's like, hey, do you want me to go tell her to fuck off for you? Jordy's like, no, I'm gonna do that myself. Cause I will, man, I will tell her to fuck right off. She's no good for you, bro. You're changing, man. You've changed. Have you ever done that

Adam? Have I ever broke up with a friend's girlfriend? On their behalf, like weighed in against the girlfriend's, like, like, taken the buddy by the by the elbow and said she's no bueno. I have a long history of not liking the girl friends and boy friends of my friends. I've rarely shared those feelings because I'm pro friend first and foremost. Sure. I ride for my friends. You're saying I shouldn't play this episode for my wife. Why start now, Ben? I've never been the person who would be asked to tell Anson Tyler that Jordy's not interested.

I've never been put in that position of you. That's a really rough position. Yeah. Both to volunteer for, what's up data, or to ask a friend to do. Yeah. So I respect that Jori doesn't allow this. They are just kind of like doing some final gut checks on the engine before they head off and it's back up to the bridge for Picard to order a conspicuously lineless Helms person to, you know, hit the warp and she hits it and nothing happens

And then she hits it again and nothing happens Which I thought was an interesting move by her like aren't you only supposed to hit buttons when the captain orders you to? Ooh, yeah. Takes it upon herself. She's taking the initiative at it. You don't want to flood the warp engine by just hammering that starter, right? That's trouble. I don't know how that works. Well, you got to hit the choke before you start the warp engine. It's like starting a lawnmower bin. I was looking at those charts of the inside of the ship that somebody sent in,

the blueprints. There's a whole big chunk in the middle of the ship that's marked as deuterium tanks. Like a huge like three or four floors worth of ship and right in the middle of the drive section. It's marked as deuterium tank. Do you think those tanks slash around when the ship is like, you know,

bustin' around corners and goin' into warp? Like how you'll hear liquid in your stomach if you've had like a big thing to drink and then you're like runnin' around, you can sort of feel it's sloshin'. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, just do you need gravity to slash?? I guess not is that where the dolphins live? Are they deuterium dolphins? Oh

Maybe Wikipedia says deuterium is one of two stable isotopes of hydrogen. So they're just carrying around tons of hydrogen Do they ever have to go get gas? It sort of explains why when the enterprise explodes, it explodes real big. It seems like it may be an easy thing to show on screen because it's just a floor to ceiling tank. Yeah, you just show a big hollow space. Yeah. They do that with the holiday all the time. Cut to an ensign down there with like a with like a gas thing in the in the spigot just like looking at the at the spooling dial waiting for it to click. He's down there for months. Are you a safe way of rewards member? No. Do you want a car wash? No. This ship costs like $350,000 to fill up.

Tank is huge. Yeah. That's why Ben, you want a friend with a galaxy-class starship and you don't want to own one yourself because the cost of refueling is just ex-orbitant. Yeah, and you want that, you want to be at an age where it's not like high school where you always have to like get five on gas tank for all the driving around you're doing. Like, you don't want to be old enough.

Everyone on the crew for a fiber. Right, it's just going around with a upturned hat going we gotta fill the ship up again guys come on. Ensign Tyler I see you over there come on five bucks please. Rikers busking with an open trombone case. They're gonna have to do some more noodling with the engine, which means data has some time to take another nappy nap. I think this is the first time he talks to Troy about it, and she says like, yeah, go ahead

and have bad dreams. That's a normal part of being human, and that's what you're here for. So sometimes you confront your dark imagery when you're asleep. Yeah, data. I mean, you are basically a murder weapon waiting to happen. And when you're mind-act strangely, that's nothing for me to report to anyone else on board. Go ahead and keep experimenting with your night terrors.

Remember when your brother was beaming bad feelings into your head a few episodes ago? Nothing bad happened with that. So embrace the bad feelings. You remember how you went into a room by yourself with lore and then came out and no one checked your ID? You could really head-can in the fact that this is lore right now and He is just deeply under cover. Fuck. Yeah. Well, she encourages him to go ahead and have his bad dream, and he climbs into bed.

I like that there's a little reveal that he's got some sort of like disco sheets. Like, they look pretty plain, but then when he gets in bed, like, they flip over and you see that the other side is real sequindy. I don't know man if I'm using a sequined bed spread I want the sequins to face out. It's gotta be scratchy right? Yeah it can date a turn off his itchiness program. I bet that's the best part of being a robot is not getting itchy. I could really go for that right now. It's fucking 90 degrees in human New York. Ooh, no amount of balls powder can get around that.

Did I already tell you the balls powder story? The birthday gift balls powder? No. So, my birthday was back in May and like on May 20th, I got a box from Amazon and I, this is one of the odd weeks where I know I didn't order anything from Amazon and it was heavy. It's like the size of a shoe box and really heavy for its size. Like, what the hell is this?

So I- Is this like a hard drive or something? Yeah, tear into it, open it up, and it is three, one-leaders-sized containers of gold bond. I've never seen a format this big of balls powder before, and it was a three-pack. And the note was from my buddy Grant, who's like, have a great summer.

Love Grant. And I don't know what to do with that much powder, Ben. Do you want me to mail you one of these? Could you use that? I don't go with the medicated kind. I just go with a straight-up talc. Well, there's, as far as I know, there's two flavors of gold,

one is gold, and then one is green, and I think green is the medicated kind, right? This is just the standard gold. I thought that the gold had like a little lidocaine or something in it. How wrong about that? Well, I'm gonna have to do a little research on the fly here, Ben.

I think it's only right. This is the only kind of research I can really get behind. What's in your balls powder? Oh, so the green is extra strength. And the gold is yeah, medicated. Well that accounts for the bracing menthol feeling you get, which is a feeling I crave. I'm not against that feeling. I just want to, I don't want it to be an everyday thing.

See, letting your nuts hang isn't everyday thing. Ben, but slathering them in balls powder, not the case. Our, our promise to our listeners that we will find the bottom before the end of season 7 continues a pace. Huh, well we're learning so much about each other. Data has his dream. He is in 10-forward war-physying some cake. Delicious. What kind of cake are you eating? It is a cellular peptide cake with mentafrosting.

Dr. Crusher is having a teaky drink that comes in the form of straw into Riker's head. That would be a good teaky mug. If we ever do a teaky mug, it's Riker's head, right? Oh, yeah. That'd be great. We'd probably have to license that, though. Everything about Riker seems to be happening on his right temple. Have you noticed that? Yeah. Like, the knife cut that Worf gave him was on that temple. I want to say there was something else that happened on that temple. And wanna say there was something else that happened on that temple, and also that's where the straw goes. His head, his head's like a Capri sun bag.

Yeah, just make sure you don't poke through the other side when you put that straw in. Yeah, yeah. Make a big mess. These workmen are still there. And every time data runs into these dudes he'll open his mouth and a very Clawing

Shrieky noise comes out of his mouth. I hear the most annoying sound in the world These workmen like us hate this noise. It's more annoying than the standard issue car alarm. It's like the cheapest car alarm you can get that only has the one sound. It's really bad. And like, I have taken to watching Star Trek episodes for the purposes of our show before bed.

And this is not a sound you want to play late at night when your wife is sleeping. No. Not good. Not a good look. No. So they clear away and there is a cake on the table that they were crowded around.

The cake is the upper torso of a blue shirt and it has Troy's head or living head on it and she says, please don't cut a piece of my body data and he goes in with a knife and sure enough cuts a piece of Troy cake. No, don't, no, no, Daina! For as long as they've sexualized Dianna, and her physicality, do you find it strange that this cake didn't have boobs? Yeah, they just went with a straight-up sheet cake.

Yeah. They did not go to an erotic baker for these props. You tell me you couldn't find an erotic bakery in LA. Come on. I imagine like Marina Circus wouldn't even like bat an eye at the idea of like a boob's cake being wheeled on a set like yep this is my life. This is what they've done to me. Let's get this season over with so I can get on with my fucking career

You think this is the most humiliating thing they've had me do no Oh, man, yeah They gave her the the offer she didn't before season one start is like we'll put you in a scant in season one Or if we make it to season seven, it's a boobs cake. She's like, fine, I'll take the scant. What did you think of the cake aside from its flatness, Adam? In what way are you asking that question? I mean, it's just like, I don't know if there's been

like a leap forward in cake technology, but I feel like one thing I see a lot when I go on the internet is a picture of an amazing cake and like, I don't really care about cake at all. Like, I don't think cake is a good dessert, but I feel like there's a, there's a lot of currency in posting a picture of a stupendously realistic cake.

But I was thinking about that here and I was like, maybe if it was too realistic a picture of a stupendously realistic cake. But I was thinking about that here, and I was like, maybe if it was too realistic, it wouldn't read as cake. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, I mean, you're right. There's an inverse correlation between like, exotically good looking cake and how good it tastes. Yeah, those are usually a terrible tasting cake.

Wharf seems to love this cake, though, but Warf loves things that taste terrible. Yeah, do you think they had considered red velvet at all? Oh for the inside. Yeah, or is that too gruesome of an idea? Or maybe that just wouldn't have read on camera because the cake is so dark in its frosting. Yeah, I don't know. You're listening to Cake Trek, the internet's foremost Star Trek cake show. Cake Trek, the next cake versation. Also, this was not a layer cake, Ben. Like, it's just, it's four inches of sponge, isn't it? This is not going to do well on the great British Bake-Off. Perhaps this person was short of time.

The top on it looks a bit of a mess. Or so, it's raw. You know, I was thinking like if you're trying to make boobs on a cake, the butt pans probably how you do that, right? I just wanted to give you something to go to Interstitial with. This is Galeo. There you go.

Four-hour episode of this idiot show, Adam. And three of the hours are gonna be about cake. And I have to edit this one. You know, it's like, what we've done for our podcast here, like the cake talk is the admiral's party storyline of this podcast episode. Like, who gives a shit? I am a cuter's of all. You will assist us. I am a cuter's of all. You are all. One person that gives a shit is Sigmund Freud.

How's it going fruit Dan? They just have to up a holiday analysis program with none other than Sigmund fruit to analyze him. And he talks through the dream and I feel like the seeding goes on like it's a solid four minutes and to us it is clearly ridiculous from you ridiculous from the moment it starts. Data only realizes how ridiculous it is, like, two minutes in. I do not believe I'm being helped by this session. But then there's an entire other two minutes where fruit is just goofing around and data keeps interjecting. This is ridiculous.

This is not helpful. It's a knife in its violent connotation, suggests a certain feeling of sexual inadequacy. I have come to loath anyone in period costume on the show that does not Samuel Clements. Well, I have come to loath Samuel Clements in period costume on this show above all of their characters

Give me more Mark Twain give it to me. I'd much rather have a guy with a German accent than that awful Mark Twain Why mr. Data your dreams are oddly sexual Sometimes the cigar Is actually a penis. Stick this cigar up your ass. Even data grossed hired of Sigmund Freud's bullshit. He's like, all right, whatever man, and program. And when he ends the program,

it's one of the best cross cut from the background they had to the holodeck background. Yeah, it's really well done. We've ever got, I don't even know if it's a green screen. I'm not really sure how they did it. They cut from him getting up from the couch to him rising in a different frame.

And that's the frame that's green screen behind him. I don't know if it is green screen though. I think it might be a, they like got them perfectly in the same spot of the frame and they cross faded. Ooh. And like because the lighting changes, your eye doesn't catch that there's two of them for a moment.

Yeah. I mean, this is definitely the best of breed of this effect that they've done. They do it twice in this, there's a bunch of actually pretty cool special effects in this episode that they've done. They do it twice in this, there's a bunch of actually pretty cool special effects in this episode I wanna say. Yeah.

Which is maybe the best thing you can say about this episode. Yeah. So data continues to get countering from Troy about this. Or are we going back in time when I talk about that? Is this, I think you're going forward. There's like another dream sequence, but then he gets another counseling session and she's like, how about come to me instead of programming up

a jockey caricature of an important historical figure whose work has largely been discredited? I feel like 90% of counselor choice job must be convincing people that her career is valuable and that she should be someone who people seek out when they have issues to discuss. Because it's got to be so much easier to go to the holodeck or I don't know, talk to anyone who does not have the power to see into your brain. She's like the marketing department. Yeah. She's there to justify the fact that she's there.

Data, I know you have the choice between me and seeing the world's foremost psychoanalyst, but why don't you give me a try? I'm sure that like real analysts watch this episode and just their retinas detach as they roll their eyes. The idea that you could achieve something like a diagnosis within the first 45 minutes of meeting with a patient. I think it's fairly telling about the show's respect

for Sigmund Freud in that they portray him as just a guy who's trying to hook a client, like, and get him on a schedule. Because he tries to put data on like a weekly schedule Immediately so destroy though. Yeah, that's right. What's trying it for? She needs the work obviously Yeah, she gets a you know, she gets the $25 co-pay from data, but then from the insurance company. She's getting like 250 Well the other thing that's going on is that they're still just having a hell of a time getting the warping engine up and running. It kind of makes Picard look bad

because an admiral checks in and makes sure that Picard is still coming to banquet. He doesn't want to go to. And Picard says, yeah yeah, we're gonna be underway an hour or two. You're not trying to avoid this particular engagement, are you Picard? No, no, certainly not. I'm really looking forward to it. And then they try to hit the war point another time and it still isn't working. So they're all getting pretty frustrated and that is the backdrop of a scene where like a nursing student, Troy is walking around the ship by herself, jumpy. You know, like every time she goes around the corner, she thinks she hears something and

looks back behind her, doesn't see anything. It's all like shaky hand-held camera work. Her movie camera work. Yeah. She gets on the elevator and she's relieved that she's on the elevator by herself. Like 30 seconds. Dores are closing when Data's hand reaches through. We get that like great horror movie sound hit. I love dayda. He comes in. Are you alright? Blank look on his face. Raze is a knife. What do you do?

Home, very still counts. And starts stabbing away at her chest. It's in real T1000 shit, isn't it? Yeah, the way he's moving and stuff. I wish we had gotten the scene of data walking there himself, like if we cross-cut between Troy and data, like, data is just walking through the halls with that giant knife in a blank Lakota space. No one challenges him.

What are you doing with that thing, buddy? Hey, yeah, data. Where are you going? You're not supposed to take knives at a 10 forward, but... Shit's pretty violent, right? Yeah, because, I mean, Troy screams, she's obviously being stabbed. It's one of the rare analog acts of violence. What am I trying to say? Like, normally you get science fiction violence where there's phasers or explosions or whatever, but like a stabbing is somehow more horrible

in this future science fiction world. Yeah, it feels more like immediate and scary somehow because it's something that we can actually picture. Nobody knows what it feels like to get hit by a phaser on stun mode, right? It's a fun scene when Riker and Worf come around the corner and they like open up the door to the elevator and find data heaving over Troy's stabbed up body. It is not music, or for the better than music. It's jazz.

They decide to put Troy in a six-bay smock that reveals a little more side-boob than I was expecting. Well, they figured that they'd planted the idea in your head with that cake atom. I wanted to pay it off a little bit. Yeah. There's also a scene where Picard like removes data from duty and it's maybe the first time I've seen them put a couple of security guys on data. First time they've been prudent with what a danger he is. God, all three of those security people should have those those poles with hoops on them that they capture wild animals with. Yes, so you can stay well back. Yeah. I think they're standing way too close to data.

What they should do is that they should have that interlocking cage system like they have in Jurassic Park where they have data in a cage that they can move around the ship because having him able to walk around is just too dangerous. Yeah, he deserves the Hannibal Lecter treatment for sure. Speaking of Hannibal Lecter, we never see data bite anything, do we? I bet he could bite the corner off of a table. Hahaha.

Like, there's nothing about data that can't be weaponized. Yeah, I wonder how, I mean, his teeth must be just as intense as the rest of him, right? Yeah. Yeah, so Troy is on this bio bed rocking a lot of side boob. Diana, you're in six feet. It's all right. And rocking an injury that is not getting better.

That's odd. The stab wound has been sorted out, but she's got some like necrrotic flesh on her upper chest, where this dabbing took place. And the doctor's like, well, that's so weird, because this is the future, we should be able to just take care of that. Yeah, she's got a date line NBC flashlight that she uses for this examination, and she sees a, she sees a little leech. Yeah, a little, a little buggy bug. It's really gross, Ben.

This, this leech thing. I think they did a great job with this. Yeah, it's an awesome special effect. Yeah. Because it's like plausibly on her and then you take the light away and it's gone. Like, it's another one where like, I can kind of imagine how the

comp went, but when somebody's moving around and has one on, it looks good and they did a really good job with it. There is something universal about this creep factor too. Whenever you see a news report and they're talking about the human body is covered with 200 million mites and you have that moment where you're just like, oh, that is so fucking gross. Like the idea of having something on you that's invisible,

that is like that big is especially gross. I had a conversation with somebody that was telling me about finding a tick on their kid. After like a summer trip and yeah, like, gggg. Yee-ee. Not good. I don't think I've ever had a tick. You hear about him all the time.

My childhood dog got a bunch of ticks one summer and it was awful. Did you have to, like, did you burn a bunch of matches? Did you match them all out? Or is that a bit amount of work? You have to like, tweezer them out, but you have to be really careful to get the head when you do it because they like bury their head in the skin. I just caused someone to pull over.

I'm sorry. Someone just filled up the cup holder. That seems like a good idea at the time, but then you're like, how do I get it out? Yeah, yeah. There's no good way. So they have this weird conundrum because data went and stabbed somebody, but now they have some evidence that data was stabbing with good cause. He was actually stabbing a thing.

He was stabbing for a reason. He was stabbing in self-defense. So they realize that something to do with data's subconscious can perceive these things in some way. Like, they can find them, but they don't really know what to do about them. They don't have any way of removing them. So, they plug data into the holodeck and they proceed to have a scene where

Picard and Jordy walk around in a dream that data is having. And it kind of goes through a bunch of different phases. They see the cake, they find a telephone inside data's belly that has Freud imploring them to kill the bugs. Kill them before it's too late. The workmen desperately swinging their hammers as though they are pulling their punches to try and dismantle the plasma tube and they discover this sound that data has been making. You must not hurt my friends. Be quiet! It's a some frequency that the bugs don't like and so they come out of the simulation.

Jury is able to like turn a couple of screw heads in data's head and pulse the ship for for this frequency and we get to see Dr. Crusher scanning around as they all disappear. Yeah, it's basically like the tonal equivalent of putting a tent over the ship and then fumigating it. They fumigate it with the sound. I mean, I feel like this scene is more interesting because they have that Freud shit already established. It's hard to it to make that admission that Freud's involvement made anything more interesting in the episode. But yeah, I agree with that. I mean, if it had all been ship, it would have just felt real bodily.

Like, I don't know that Freud was the right thing to do there, but to take it out of the context of ship, I feel like was shrewd in some way. The idea of walking around inside of data's imagination, I thought was fairly interesting. Yeah. And they managed to avoid the thing that every 90s thing did when you go inside a computer, which is like giant cityscape with lights pulsing and flying back and forth as inside of computer image. Yeah, yeah. Like the tronification of that. Yeah.

So it turns out they got a bad warp core. The warp core they installed was covered in bugs. I'm covered in me! Now when you install in a new warp cop in, you're going to want to expect it for parasites. That way, your android wants suffer from antisocial behavior. We've pre-sprayed our Whop-Koy and all the ducting we're installing today with a... Parasite repellent spray. Hahahaha. Do we just have nothing left for that joke?

I don't know. I didn't. I thought my read was fairly terrible too. I'm sorry. Hopefully there's something that works for you there. I thought the craziest downplay of the whole episode was data describing his stabbing people as anti-social behavior. What the fuck?

Really? I'm sure that's what OJ called it too. More than just anti-social. Yeah. I'm not sure that's what DNA Troy would call it. If the cake fits, Adam, you must acquit. Yeah. The button on the episode is Troy bringing a data cake over to data's quarters

and then eating data cake together. What would Dr. Freud say about the symbolism of devouring oneself? Not an erotic data cake, mind you, just a... Yeah, this cake is not fully functional or programmed in multiple techniques. Yeah, sometimes a cake is just a cake. It's a cake that really looks like

Dianna Troy made it herself. Like, not a great looking cake. It's a cute cake is what it is. Could they have done a more realistic cake, but they wanted to keep it kind of similar level of skill with the other cake in the episode? Like have you been to a kid's birthday party lately? Cake technology right now is off the chain. Some of these cakes are photo realistic in what they're depicting.

This is an imperfect future, Ben. Yeah. Or maybe it's like a retro throwback thing. Like the kids are really into like, ironically bad cakes in the 24th century. Hahaha. Cool cake, bro. It's fucking terrible.

I love it. I mean, it's so shitty. I think it's great. I totally saddened it in the car. That's why it looks so shitty. Why would I do this to myself? I never wanted this on me. I love it, dude.

I got it on my grandfather's eye. But it's the dumbest. It's fucking awesome. Did you like this episode, Ben? I think I'm gonna surprise you a little bit with this Adam. I kind of like this episode. It's so shitty. It's awesome. It's the fucking worst. It's so good. It's another kind of light episode. Like it's got dark subject matter, but it's played kind of light. And I think a lot of that has to do with fruit. I think the fruit parts are the worst part of the episode,

maybe the laziest writing. But I mean, I said this in a recent episode that I do have a soft spot in my heart for light and corny trek. and that's this. And for his light and corny as it is, like it is a, like it kept my interest. Like I love that they come up with this crazy star trekky solution

or this crazy star trekky problem. And I love getting to go inside Data's Dream. I think that the special effects are all really, really impressive. So I'm just on the side of liking this one. How about yourself? This episode has a lot of things I don't like. I don't like real characters and period costumes. I feel like this episode and this season has started a trend of putting

all of the eggs in the database, like assuming an interest in data and in his life that I'm not sure that we have, you know. And his interest in dreaming is uninteresting to me. The execution of his dreams is fairly interesting, though the people in those dreams, especially the miners are a poor demonstration of what miners would do to a starship. I don't think I like the episode, Ben. No, I didn't like it at all. Well, I'm really sorry, Adam. And I'm sorry, your wife had to hear that grating noise as she was trying to fall asleep.

I don't think this is a mount armist for me, but it is very close. Wow. Well, you have terrible standards. It's true. Who knows what's a mountain episode for me anymore. Do we want to check in with our priority one in bucks? I know. She's going on there.

That's something I want to do, Ben. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. You need a supplement on top. supplement on top? supplement. supplement. Yes, extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.

Adam, we have a couple of priority one messages here. The first one is of a personal nature. It's from indirect banana kisses, and it's for sticky bun. It goes like this. Happy anniversary. My life has been so much weirder, sillier and happier with you in it and I'm Happy to be raising guinea pigs with you. You are the Mozart of cooking and the isolaneer chip to my drunk Shremota. Let's keep shouting my son in public and hope Ben and Adam come up to Portland so we can buy them a tea oral Grey hot. I love you. I love the order of those compliments,

weirder, sillier, happier. I love, I love feeling like if you were to ask my wife about her feelings about us, happier would also be in third. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. After weirder and sillier, that's great. I don't know, I'd be terrified to ask my wife what order she would put any of those words in. Let's make sure we never ask. Let's make sure we never ask.

The lesson here is never ask for a list. Well, happy anniversary, you two. We'll be in Portland sometime. Yeah, love Portland. They're all the time. Just not together, Ben. Let's change that. I love me some Portland. They're all the time. Just not together, Ben. It's changed that. Oh, I love me some Portland.

Yeah. Wait, do you think they mean Portland Oregon or Portland, mate? I don't know. We'll never know. I guess we'll never know. We should go to both. Ben, our second priority one message comes from Rose Fletcher. It is for Will Fletcher. It goes like this. Here's to an out of this world, Dad, you're a Cisco. Not a Kirk!

Hahaha! We're your biggest fans. Thanks for always being there for us. May you live long and prosper and always have a podcast to distract you. Love you forever! From Rose, Scout, Rocco, and Penny from the Block. Hahaha! You're a Cisco, not a Kirk. What could that mean, then?

Probably means you're like sane and don't punch everything before you understand what it is. Hey Will, wait in that punch everything. That's no way to solve a problem. Deep thinker, will fletcher. Love it. Yeah. Love baseball probably. Or some anachronistic sport that used to exist,

but doesn't now. Well, one thing we love as much as baseball, are reading this priority what message has been. We do. If anyone out there is interested in creating one of their own, they can go to maximumfund.org slash jumbootron, where personal messages are $100 and commercial messages are $200 and they are a great way to help with the ongoing production of this fine program. Thanks guys.

Thank you. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it.

The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris, and I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests, and bring them down to our level.

We got stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open.

Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, Russ, hey, hey, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good.

No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this off. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters.

We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so same like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two.

What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. Hey, Pan. What's that Adam? I hear the incessant scream of a drunk Shimoda. Is that yours out in the parking lot making that sound? Oh yeah, let me go. Let me go turn that off.

Incredible. Drunk Shimoda! My Drunk Shimoda is Wharf. I just love everything about Michael, the way Michael Doran plays the interactions with Data's Cat in this episode. I guess we didn't really talk about it much, but Spot. I hate cats. Data's Cat.

Spot. I love Katz. is prominently featured in this episode and when data gets taken off duty for being a danger to himself and others, he asks Worf to look after spot. And not only does Worf kind of act like he's not entirely aware of what a cat is,

which is ridiculous because he was raised on you know among humans But just like the way he straight man's with data while data Like goes through all of the things he needs to know about cat ownership and fucking hilarious As a person with a cat that lives in my house, his instructions were fairly accurate. So is your Shimoda data or wharf? Wharf. My Shimoda is also wharf, but it is because he basically has two scenes in the entire episode. Michael Dorn is being asked to carry a cat and eat a cake.

And that is it. It's all he does. I think that's hilarious. Yeah. What a great week of shooting for him. Yeah. Can do boss. So, Worf Smash and Moda also.

What do we have coming up on the next episode, Ben? Can do boss. So War of Smash and Moda also. What do we have coming up on the next episode, Ben? The next episode is season 7, episode 7. Dark Page. Troy must probe her mother's psyche when a traumatic secret causes a psychic breakdown that threatens Lwaxana's life. Do you remember this episode, Adam? I sort of had it in my head that we were done

with LaWoxana episodes for TNG. So this comes as a little bit of a surprise, but this is happening. Two of them last, last step. Our last season, I mean. Yeah, which is sort of why I thought we were done. They'd spent all the LaWaxana that they had to spend. They burned their loaxana capital on those two campaigns.

Hmm. Ben, I hate loaxana episodes. Not as much as you though. I hate them the most. What do you want to do here? It's tempting to veto. Very tempting. The thing that is giving me pause is that there are a lot of landmines in season seven and I kind of think this might be one of the least worst locks on episodes, and maybe there are things that are still dragons in the direction that we're heading that I need to save my weapons for.

There is no greater dragon than locks on a Troy though. I don't know if I agree with that Adam. And this is a sure thing Ben, it's a sure thing. I need to do the responsible thing here, Ben and Vito the episode. No! That's what's responsible. We're standing on a landmine. We see it, we've stepped on it. We've got to figure out a way to get our foot off of this thing. This is the enemy that we know know and it's right here. Adam, you're such an idiot.

No, I'm not. I'm doing the right thing. This is so practical. There's some real bad episodes in season seven. You're not like... But we know Loxana episodes are bad episodes. If you're fucking Frodo Baggins and you're leaving Lothlorian and you have your new potions and invisibility cloaks, you need to know, you need to use them in responsible ways. I feel like this is responsible. This is a fully authenticated emergency action message. We are at alert one now.

There is a Loxana ready to fire her missiles at us. I do not concur sir. I do not concur. Countervita. I should have known we would never get to use one of these. I'm the commander of this fucking ship, Ben. I know you are, but I just think that that was such a bad call. He almost calls the custom nuclear holocaust. Our videos crossing over Antarctica. Just because the fucking boulew winch made some noise.

Well, here we are. We have shots. We even gonna have vetoes when we get the deep space nine out of like shot every veto into the ground like Yosemite Sam. Like, I mean, like the people that have accused us of doing this as an extended bit are obviously wrong, but they have a lot of evidence on their side. Like, this does appear to be just a charade. They can believe whatever they want, but I would submit to a lie detector test about whether or not we pre-planned any of this.

So... Fuck those guys. Fuck you! It'll worst. Well? The worst podcast partner. See you next time, Ben. I guess that'll be our next episode,

and we don't have any vetoes for the rest of this terrible season of television. To answer your question, Ben, I think I've seen so little of Deep Space Nine that I don't, I don't think it would be responsible to have vetoes anymore. I think we should take them off the table. Wow. Because I sort of want to see every episode.

I don't think I've seen every episode of Deep Space Nine. I get to board. I agree that we should take them off the table for Deep Space Nine, but I do want there to be a danger element that we reintroduce every season because it's fun to have punishment for bad behavior. And we got to think about what that is. Maybe we like, in some eventuality, we have to watch a babelon 5 episode and review that. I don't even want that put out into the ether. I refuse that. Okay, I'll edit this part out of the episode.

Do not even tease. Geez. Yeah, we will think up some sort of gamification for this because I think it's only right that your hosts are weaponized for this process, just depends on how. Well, one way that our destruction is not assured is through the support of our viewers. You go to places like MaximumFund.org slash donate to help the ongoing support of our show. They'll go to the MaxFund store bin where there are shirts and glasses and all sorts of fun merch items there.

Hopefully they will have purchased a ticket to come and see us on tour. That's a thing that's happening, we're committed to that. There's no vetoing the tour dates. Yeah, there may be some greatest gen con information out in the ether at this point as well. So keep your ears peeled for that. Peel those ears.

If you're not peeling your ears, you're using those ears to hear the great sounds created by Dark Materia, who created our theme song and interstitial music. We also have some great music beds created by Adam Ragusia. One of the best. Anything you want to say here, Ben, before we get the hell out of here? Yeah, follow Adam on Twitter. I'd cut for time and follow me at BenjaminRAHR. Here's the hashtag greatestgen. You can also go to our Facebook group, our Reddit sub. There's a great wikia with lots of information on the program.

Although I noticed that the wikia doesn't have a definition of nubbin, which I was surprised by. So I don't know how thatubbin, which I was surprised by. So, I don't know how that gets updated, but I'm sure that somebody will be along shortly to fix that. Huh! There's also that steam group, the greatest gen steam video game group,

and lots of other places online to talk to other people who like the show. So with that we will be back at you next time. It's another great episode of Star Trek the next generation and an episode of the greatest generation that is looking for the right word not sure quite how to say Terrible, how do you say? Ah, yes Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Catch it, you'll know the color of the u. And fit it, fit it right. Catch it, you'll know the color of the u.

And fit it, fit it right. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Catch it, catch it, catch it. Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture, artist owned Listener supported