The Greatest Generation - Ass-Riding Centipede (ENT S4E7)

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

When the United Earth Embassy gets blown up on Vulcan, an investigation begins and Dr. Phlox sniffs out the fake evidence right away. But after Archer and T’Pol go into danger looking for the wrong suspect, a mind meld by Soval reveals the identity of the real bomber. Where else could that one laurel go on the flag? What does GTL stand for on Vulcan? Which tortured holiday portmanteau works better? It’s the episode that opened a FOIA request.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Here's to the finest crew in starving. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the song. Welcome to the Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys, just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica.

Ben Harrison. Ben, what's the stupidest injury you've ever invited onto yourself recently. I should try to like gather in what is probably a great big sample size into the recent. People that STLV probably saw this. I have like one of those like blood blisters on my on my big toe nail, you know, when you drop something heavy on your on your toe. And then there's like blood under it. This is very germane to the story I was going to tell you. Okay. Which is, I have been limping since the weekend because we have kept on occasion beloved puppy, Ripley's, toys and treats in like a rubber made bin with like a lid that opens like this.

What's this kind of lid? A hinging top lid? That's just the word. I knew you'd have it. For our UK listeners, we're using bin in the American sense, which is a tub that you contain something in, not a. place where you throw something away. I know, I know in London, you ask about a bin. You're basically asking about someone's asshole.

Yeah, yeah. Or something. One time transferring through Heathrow, I asked if I was supposed to put my laptop in the bin, you know, right before security. And the lady was like, I suppose if you want to. Ha ha ha ha. And then the shot widened out. and this TSA person is sitting on Jabba the Huts tail.

Yeah, she was basically that character. This thing, you know, you get the dust of dog treats inside it and the accumulated, like, just dusty dog food dust. I took it out in the backyard and I hosed it out and dried it off in the sun and then I took it back in. And like an idiot, I was holding it from its opened lid. Lid remained open so that it could dry out properly. And this lid just slipped right off of its hole. And the bottom part, including its little feet, its little plastic feet, landed directly on my big toe from height.

It didn't land on the nail, though. Oh, that's good. What it did is it landed on the, what is it, carpal, metacarpal phalangey? It landed on the metacarpal part of the toe The part below the nail And it is just black I don't think it's broken Because I can move it

Like that's how you know you haven't broken a toe What I want to know from you is like I'm not going to get blood blister Right because it's too low on the toe I think if you had blood blister You'd see blood blister Yeah And the thing that sucks about blood blister

Is it just takes as long as your toenail takes To grow out to grow out So I've had this thing for nine months I just started trimming the part of the nail that it is on. Nine months. Yeah, it's been on there forever. I clip my toenails every two weeks. I clip my toenails every two weeks.

It takes a long time to get all the way across the nail bed. I mean, it started down at the cuticle, and now it's just finally cresting over the tippy top. Oh, the toe people listening are fucking losing their shit right now, I'm guessing. So the burble from the blurster, Like, once it reaches the end, the cliff. Yeah, yeah. Does it, does it pop?

No. Or does it just end? I think everything in there has solidified. So, yeah, it's just matter now. Have you ever lost a nail of any kind? Never. Me neither. Not even in a construction context.

I'm very fastidious about all my fasteners. Yeah. Yeah, I like having a little magnetic ashtray type device, you know? Keep everything in there. No. I keep them in there. a little bin and then try very hard not to drop that bin. It seems like it's fairly common.

Every year I run into a person who's lost a nail, it seems. Yeah. A nail of the finger or toe kind. Yeah. It happened on an episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City recently where they were cruising on a mega yacht and a door swung closed on one of these poor housewives fingers. and she lost a nail on camera and brother, I pushed my lasagna away from me

on the TV dinner tray. The thing about boat doors is that the tolerances are so good. There's no gap in those things. You can't have a gap. Insane that she had her hand where she had it. I mean, I guess they're coming from a landlocked state. Maybe they're not accustomed to boat life,

but you must have. be more careful and you must be more careful walking around with your with your dog toy bin yeah I know that's a lesson learned for sure then one of my earliest memories because I've tried to black them all out over time most of your personal memory looks like a pentagon paper yeah out of redactions I got into my parents car in the front seat and I closed the door by the frame and I distinctly remember like pulling it close from the top part of the frame like top of the window like like this

and what I'm doing is making Michael Jackson Thriller arm which is like sort of like the claw thing so I pull the door shut and we get going and I look out the window and I can see these things I can see the phalanches flapping in the wind and I didn't feel pain until I could see it I think so often you don't feel the pain until you see what you've done.

Yeah. And that was the case at a very young age. The gaps in the old Subaru wagon automobile, not very tight. Otherwise, those things would have come clean off. The tolerance is much looser than on that mega yacht. Yeah. Yeah, who knew? Oh, buddy.

Well, I'm sorry you hurt your little tutzy. I hope this was exciting for all the nasty toe freaks. We have gotten some DMs from the tow freaks recently, wadding a little more content tailored for them. Well, here you go. Does an injury excite or put off a toe freak? Great question. I don't know.

I'm not in many subculture circles. So I have to wonder. Like, if you were an enthusiast for a thing, are you enthusiast for the dark version of that thing also? I guess if you think of it like a butt, or boobs or whatever, like another body part that you might get excited about. Like, I don't think I would be excited about an injury to that, you know. Yeah, no, I don't like the things that I like being hurt or grossed out.

So, yeah, leave me out of that. Well, let's turn to more positive, less upsetting. There is a pivot to be had here. Let's get to terrorism so that we aren't on such grim topics. Ah, finally. Finally, like a mug, a hot chocolate, we bring to you Enterprise Season 4 episode 7. It's called The Forge. Got free speech and guitar.

And this episode is not directed by LeVar Burton. Otherwise, we could have called it La Forge the Forge. La Forge. Yeah. Yeah. No. But we can't. Can't do that. It's just called The Forge.

17 years ago on Vulcan is where we open. Something very beautiful about this cave spulunking is the sodium lamp quality of the colors we see inside. I know this picture is circulated recently. The whole like shot of major American city from space 10 or 15 years ago versus today and how different it looks because of the sodium lamp to LED. street lamp transition. Yeah. Nice to see yellow light again. I feel like if you're in a cave controlled by Cardassians, you're getting a very bluish end of the light spectrum. And if you're in a cave controlled by Vulcans, it's going to be a much warmer end of the tungsten spectrum.

I don't want to brag. I know this might come off as a brag. I really hope it doesn't. I don't think I have a yellow light in my household. like a yellow flashlight or a headlamp or anything. They used to be the only color you could get now. Now it's like... Piercing blue.

Yeah. Yeah. What does it do? Churns blue. Are you saying that the lights in your house, though, are daylight balanced? No, I'm not that kind of monster. Are you working with a soft white? Holy shit.

That would never happen in my household. Yeah. Here's the code. go driving by my house and you see a uh a 56k from outside on the street i've been taken hostage like and this and this is my code like hey right oh i know you're really beating the shit out of me but there is a light bulb out i think it would help you see a little better as you're just whipping the shit out of me uh if i just change change a light bulb here and then you'd get the signal let me i got a three step ladder here uh

Hold on. Let me do this. Let me do this. I mean, you... And then have at me. You're already prevailing so much upon me. It's like if that hand signal to let someone know you're being human trafficked was a little more cumbersome and less subtle. Yeah. Yeah. So this is an archaeologist looking around on his little spolunk. And what he finds is maybe a jar or a container or some kind of stone object. And he brushes off what one presumes is centuries' worth of dust that's accumulated on it to reveal some markings.

And he says, Surrack. It's got to be so satisfying to, like, dig a very soft brush into that soft dust. Yeah. I know. That's great. That's great. after the theme we're at United Earth Embassy on Vulcan and sexual icon Admiral Forrest

is reading us his log. A log before now I presume to be fairly classified? We're getting the benefit of a readout on that. He's telling us that Vulcan Starfleet joint missions are on the table now and this is a very exciting prospect for him. Very excited. Sad to see that some of the workmanship in the future is just piss poor. We've built this huge embassy complex in the capital city on the planet Vulcan, and half of the laurels have fallen off of the building on the logo there.

Laurel Ombudsman Benjamin R. Harrison, there to check the laurels. Laurel auditor. I don't know what you want to call him, but he is on your ass if your department is laurels. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, he's there to talk to Saval about this. And Saval's like, yeah, I mean, they don't tell me anything. I'm just an ambassador. I'm not on the high commander or anything like that. This is a really important episode for Saval, I think. Very much so. A character up until now, the show wants you to hate. The show wants you to feel like he's an asshole who doesn't like humans, doesn't want to work with him at all. I feel like this scene. with sexual icon Admiral Forrest is like the first crack in that dam

where he he seems to be like hard ass with a heart of gold here. I've had a couple of work experiences that this feels related to which is when you realize that your manager is getting it way worse from the people above him or her.

Yeah. Like, oh man, like I guess the way this person acts is not entirely generated by their own shitty. personality, but in some ways, this is like what gets through the sieve that they represent. As a leadership technology, this should be a studied factor for all managers and executives. Totally. And a strategy for them.

Like, let a little bit through the sifter. Let them see that you are, I mean, you're not eating a lot of shit, let's face it. Because most of it's rolling downhill, am I right? Up here. Yeah. But just like a little bit of shit. just like break off a little corner of it so you know what it tastes like. I mean, it didn't really have no taste either.

Spongy. Like when you and I have a production meeting with Wendy and Rob, we like let them know how hard the Friends of DeSoto are riding our asses to make them understand a little bit better why we're writing their asses so hard. It's an ass riding centipede. We've always called it that. They're talking about why the high command. would be reticent to do these collaborative missions.

And Saval is trying to give sexual icon Admiral Forrest a little bit of context for this. Like, you know how all the aliens in Star Trek are kind of like one great big stereotype of a kind of guy? Humans aren't like that. And that's very confusing to the Vulcans. You have the arrogance of Andorians,

the stubborn pride of telegraphers. rights. One moment you're as driven by your emotions is Klingons and the next you confound us by suddenly embracing logic. Humans are like all the guys. And that's very distressing for a personality that likes to keep things in neat little rows. Yeah, yeah. Like when we go around to the planets, we've got jock planet, we've got stoner planet, we've got got got got got got got

got got got got gauph planet, we've got AV club planet, we've got theater club planet. When we go to to Earth, it's entire high school planet. What are we supposed to do with this? With you guys, we go one block further than we intended. It all hell breaks loose. It doesn't work for us. There's an interesting subtext to this whole thing, I thought.

Because Saval is making it seem as though humans remind Vulcans of themselves. This is at least the way Admiral Forrest receives this information. Yeah. But I think what Admiral Forrest is talking about is how humans may be more like Romulans. Mm. Also, a type of people from Vulcan's past. Yeah, I was trying to remember if, have they encountered Romulans yet? The Romulan Star Empire.

What's that? Maybe you shouldn't be reading that. Because when we encounter them in TOS, it's like there was one war. We never saw what they looked like. It was just like shooting nukes at long distance at each other. Yeah. So, yeah, that doesn't come up. They're talking as they're going through the security checkpoint on their way into the embassy complex.

And there's a quick retina scan on your way in. This fortunately goes a lot faster than the retina scan that you need to take to watch a video about the Genesis device. Yeah. But so I was like, yeah, you know, like we had our wars and our lives. fucked up past, but then it took us 1,500 years of, like, meticulously rebuilding our society to get to the point where humans are now after 100 years. So, yeah, like, we're just not really sure where you guys are headed. A lot of chaos. Just thinking about that in those terms makes me think about our own situation as humanity. Like, it wasn't that long ago

when it was, like, buggies and whips, you know? Buggies, whips, and a 40-year age maximum, you know? Now look at this. Yeah, look at all the progress? I mean, my complaint clearly is that we're living too long. Yeah, maybe that's the problem. Forrest is like, hey, man, we just want to be pals and do missions with you guys. Like, that's all we want.

We only want to be your partners. Where do you think Saval is headed with his retorts to this? Saval is like Yeah man I think we can do that Let's shake on it And then as like their hands shake The boom of the explosion goes off Like we cut to the handshake

Wide shot of the explosion We cut back it on the handshake And Saval is just holding a severed arm Oh This is like every person in LA's fantasy Right it's like yeah man we should hang out sometime And then that person is taken out by explosion. Yeah, that person lives in Highland Park, you live in Santa Monica, it's just never

happening. No further obligation is intended. Yeah. And I've got faith of the far heart. Legally, it's just a virtual. This pillar goes down like a girder, I thought. If you're going to drop anything in a scene to signify heavy damage, it's going to be this. But we cut to a different kind of boom. Boom of the dynamite going in a pickup basketball game where Dr. Flox can shoot the J. Man. Look at him, shoot it. He's got game.

He could go to the show. He's a bit of a baller. I also loved Hoshi taking a shot and just getting absolutely denied by truth. Time to sweep sides again, Doctor. Certainly. This is the most enjoyable sport. Yeah. I mean, there's defense you play in a pickup game that's like,

sporting and then there's the kind where you like want to make a point right yeah like where it's like prison yard defense where you're like don't fuck with me yeah where you're just covered in 50 sharpened toothbrushes on your way to the hoop everybody's kind of patting flocks on the back for his skills of a shooter. When Topal comes and interrupts, she's been on the phone with Vulcan and Archer needs to see this shit. And before you know it, the entrepreneur is at Planet Vulcan,

and Admiral Forrest is dead. He always put the mission first. Welcome to the club. Welcome to the club. Work together in common cause. That should be my responsibility, sir. You're right, it should. You should, sure, let's take this one step at a time.

You've got a crew that's going to be looking to you to figure out how to react to all this. Don't screw it, son. Don't let them down. His death is a loss to both our world. Sorry, John. RSVP sexual icon Admiral Forrest. I cannot believe they killed him off screen. He's not in the credits of the show, but he has been in so many episodes that to give him the indignity of an off-screen death, I don't know if I can get on that page, man.

Like, I did the math when we cut to the exterior of the building for the explosion. Like, that is a cut to the wide shot. I imagine many souls are claimed in that. But this is sexual icon Admiral Ford. I want to see him like say one last thing to Sifal as he shuffles loose this mortal coil or something.

Or show me the body. Show me the body. He doesn't even get to act dead. I'm really torn because I really liked the cut from the boom to the action of the basketball game. I thought that that was a really cool cut. Yeah.

But man, they did Admiral Forrest dirty. Yeah, I didn't like it. I didn't like it. And I think Von Armstrong had to hate it, too. I feel like he did his time on this show. Yeah. If you're going to die, you deserve the package. And by the package, I mean either an on-screen death or death makeup,

where you have to act real still for a period of time. Or, you know, an appearance in the Nuck of the Month on the Greatest Newsletter. You know, that's another way to get the package. Yeah. Do you think he, like, scuffed Rick Berman's sneakers or something? They were like both at the craft table and Von Armstrong, like accidentally bumped into him, something? I think it would, by reputation, allegedly, I feel like it would take very little to piss that guy off. Yeah, yeah. Good thing we covered our asses.

Yeah. So to Paul is going to be involved in the investigation of this. We learned. Archer's like talking about like, oh man, like crazy shit going down on Vulcan. Have you heard from your mom? Yeah. Are you, like, going to sleep over there during the mission or whatever? It'd actually save us some budget on a hotel. So if you could do that, that would be cool.

Yeah. You know, we're kind of a rebuilding year after this Indy War. We put a lot on the company, as it were, major outlays, major capital expenditures, and didn't see a lot of return. I don't know if you remember how the season ended, but it was just like, oh, now we're in some Nazi shit. and no big payoff. You remember the wide shot of the embassy Ziggurat getting its ass blown out?

That might as well have been our bank account for the end of the last season. Archer's like, cool. So if it's not your mom, clearly like your husband would be a place you could crash, right? This does not seem to be a visit to Vulcan that will involve either of them. Doesn't. Mom is not picking up the phone. What a dream. Paul explains this is.

Yeah, she's just such a workaholic, you know. Now that I've married this dork to get her career back on online, she just, you know, she pours herself into her work. They are walking through the corridor to an airlock where they meet Vulcan Administrator Vlas, played by Robert Foxworth of that killer DS9 episode where the changelings infiltrated Earth and also blew up shit. Oh. How about that?

I bet you clocked his voice. He's got a distinctive voice. Captain Archer, all of Vulcan grieves with you today. He does have a distinctive voice. It looked very different. He's got the voice, and I'm going to say allegedly again, because I don't know this. Robert Foxworth has that voice of a guy who smokes cigars. Not a lot of cigars, but just like on the golf course, you know?

Just enough. Yeah. Anyway, along with Vlas, we've got Saval and Stel. And Stel directs Vulcan security, which means he was also the one reading My Pet Salat during the attack. Buck was upside down. Yeah. Fool me, we can't get fool again. Yeah, he's going to be the chief investigator, and he's like, you've got suspects, baby.

I think this is Andorians, you know, those shifty motherfuckers are always trying to mess with everyone. And Archer's like, but what's the upsets? side. Like, that doesn't seem to make any sense to me. He's the Ryan Redald's but Y Giff in response to this. Yeah. And they're like, oh, you know, because the Andorians don't like the humans because they're so aligned with the Vulcans. And Archer's like, I'm pretty sure we've kind of come down on the Andorian side of that as many times as we haven't. Yeah. Some of my best friends are Andorian. What are you talking about? Who else could it be?

Well, it could be the Seroenites. Yeah. A splinter group of Vulcans who subscribed to a corrupted read on Surak's teaching, Surak of the cold open. But the thing about these folks is that they're peaceful. So this doesn't sound like their rep, right? Yeah. Do you think the Seroenites ever got into, like, proselytizing their belief system

by a direct-to-consumer videos marketed at, like, you know, younger, hipper audience in the form of a saran wrap. Oh, man. It's a good thing I brought a lunch. Because I was so well-fed by the time we made it to the end of that. That was great. I felt like it needed a lot of stuff. Anyways, yeah, the stelle guy is like, you know, that saran has become a real zealot lately. And, you know, there's all this xenophobic violence on the rise.

Here, just like Earth, people are attacking off-worlders. And we haven't been able to, like, make any direct links. But we kind of think that these serenites are potentially behind the xenophobic attacks. Yeah, it feels like syrinite or similar. right? There's a general temperature on the planet that seems to be rising against non-Vulcan people there. Sure. So we're going to investigate the site, and there's a big deal made of, like, Vulcans have not gone into that because it's like it's an embassy, and therefore it is Earth soil. If you're sensitive to the smell of humans is the smell of a dead and exploded human, and maybe, I don't know, what is it 80 of them? like the worst thing for you is a Vulcan?

No, I think the Vulcans are like walking around the perimeter of the embassy going, ah, now that smells great. Legally it's just a fart joke. You will never take the greatest chin alive. Ben would rather die. So Reed and Mayweather are for some reason the people that get sent into the rebel. They're looking for like a security computer. Reed finds it and is like, oh, let me start scanning this thing. And Mayweather's like, cool, maybe I'll just lift up some random debris.

What are you doing, Mayweather? I mean, besides demonstrating how ripped you are, because this piece of sheet metal does not look light. Are we glad that he picked it up? Like, because they find the bomb under it. Like, would they have died because the bomb went off because they just happened to be nearby if he hadn't lifted it up. Is it kind of a landmine situation where the piece of plate metal is like on top of the bomb and if they were to step onto the sheet, it would squish the bomb and set it off? Is that part of it? Potentially.

I mean, it doesn't seem like someone set them up the bomb. This seems like an accident, right? This is a bit of unexploded ordinance that remains. The thing that confused me the most was the math that Reed does in this scene about studying the bomb versus taking the emergency transport back up to the ship, which seems to be on offer and available to them anytime they want it. Because Reed calls up and he's like, hey, emergency transport, but not now. I want to maybe scan a device that he admits in the moment by scanning it may set it off. Look on the bright side. If it detonates, we'll never know.

He's like, if we try to transport it out of here, that could set it off. If I scan it, that could set it off. Yeah. And so presumably somebody's just got their finger hovering over it. Oh, but you can't have your finger hovering over it because it's a slider. Yeah. Does the rate that you push the slider on the transporter control matter? Could you just like give it a real quick zip?

Or do you have to ease it in? I bet you get nauseous if it zipped super fast. fast. Like, I bet that's something you feel. Maybe that's why they have a transporter chief. These are people that have mastered, like, it's all in the wrist. Like, they slide that thing just so, and you land easy. Starfleet's best hand stuff people are recruited for this particular job. You would think it would be all Vulcans then. Yeah. Yeah. So at the end of this scene, like, Reed is able to get his scan, and they are able to emergency beam out when the beach. keeps get louder and closer together after he turns up the scan strength because initially he scans it

nothing happens and he's like oh i'm going to keep scanning until this thing becomes threatening i really wanted to cut to the wide shot of the building a second time and see it like collapse even more from the secondary explosion yeah like we we cut over to sexual icon admiral for a severed arm like grasping nothing it's still in the handshake And it just gets tossed out through a hole in the side of the building. There's a like a Vulcan dignitary trying to hail a cab and the hand lands perfectly in his hand. Oh, man, things are flying all over the place. In Six Bay on Enterprise Dr. Flux has connected the DNA that they were like to get off this thing on the bomb to a certain.

tapal, a known syranite. And one of the traits of this group of syrinites is a complete and total disregard for conditioner. Yeah, we see an image of tapau on the screen. She looks somewhat different from when we catch up with her later in Star Trek 3. She seems like the before picture in a commercial for a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. I mean, yes, but it's weird that the after picture, her hair is totally covered by her, like, Raymond's for performing the right of connecting Spock's Katra back with his Genesis body, you know? Yeah. You really get to appreciate how certain Vulcans put in the effort.

And some just don't. Yeah. So with this revelation, they're talking to Stell, and they're like, yeah. So, anyways, we've got, like, suspect number one, and we would love to get on the hunt. And he's like, well, pretty doubtful that she is still on site at the embassy complex. And being that that's the only part of the planet Falcon that is under your jurisdiction, I have to politely decline any further help from you. We'll inform ambassadors of all of any developments that concern you.

This has got to feel so good for style. Look, I'd love to help you out. But it's weird Like we cut over to Stell And he's sitting behind a desk Eating sandwiches But wiping his fingers Napkins

He's like But like My hands are tied I can't get involved Mm-hmm Actually I took that the wrong way Because this is about humans Not being necessary

To the investigate Your hands are tied You can't get involved What's funny about This scene is how Stell Gives out a bunch of boxes a Kleenex to everyone, like the humans specifically, and he's like, look, I'm going to be out here during the investigation. You're going to be over there. Your hands being tied up

because no humans are allowed on this one. Aren't you glad I circle back around for that? And you blew it! I think that was worth it. You blew it. Stell. Little squirmy. We don't like him. I feel like this episode is very subtle with it, but from the jump, not liking still. Not trusting him. Yeah. It's like... You know how some Vulcans look like Frankenstein? Just have, like, resting Frankenstein face?

Yeah. I feel like Stella is especially like that. I kind of wished that they had stunt cast him with a slightly more recognizable actor, you know? Like, I feel like, you know, Bill Nyei, whenever you see him, like, being put forward as a normal guy at the beginning of a movie, you're like, okay, this will be fun when it ultimately reveals

that Bill Nye was the bad guy the whole time. Sure. That's like what Bill Nyee is there for so much of the time. And I mean, they found a guy that gives that effect. But anyways, we got to a storage bay where all of the coffins of the like three dozen humans that were killed in this attack have been brought aboard, draped in flags

that unfortunately have had like the laurels fall off of one side of them. Or like maybe they forgot to. them on at some point. Ben, I love this for you as a study, as a thing you're just on. You're just locked in to this whole single laurel situation. Keep track of the laurel situation. For my part, I'm not known as a particularly skilled graphic designer.

Most of my designs, not great. That's pretty generous. I think you're selling yourself short. When you set about designing something for Podshop. that is, I think you always do a really nice job. I've had my moments, but here's my point. I think if we're going to have a one Laurel Starfleet logo,

why not put it underneath the earth, so it's a big smile? Or like a beard? Yes. Earth with a beard? Or a mustache. Put the laurel like in the earth, like right across it, like a big

Zabata mustache. Like a big flowy, old to West. Right? Yeah, that's pretty fun. And then we get that second Laurel eventually, and guess what? We're not changing mustache.

Instead, we're putting it up over the top. Like a big head of hair. Oh, yeah, like a comb over. Yeah, yeah. Loral comb over. Yeah, and it's off center, too, to accentuate the combed overness of it. That's going to be a great gram for Rob. That's going to be so good.

Can't wait to see it. Saval comes in and he's talking about like, oh man, your boy, I forget his name, the sexual icon. He saved my life. There's like the doodoo-l-l-l-l-l-d-l-d-l-d-l-t of Svalm remembering the last moments he had with Admiral Forrest. And we see a little bit more of the severed arm. Like he looks down, he's holding the arm and he like just fucking throws it. Like, oh! But he doesn't want to tell anyone about that emotional outburst.

Yeah, the severed arm hits a guy and knocks him off the edge of the exploded building and into the rubble pit. And Tavaal, like, looks around to see if anybody saw that. Like, plausible deniability if nobody saw that. Like, oh, yeah, that guy died in the attack, too. It sort of explains how cool Saval gets from here to the rest of the episode. Like, he had a crazy experience this episode that really changed him. Yeah. And I love that Archer is like, well, you know, to honor Forest Legacy, we must do joint missions with the Vulcans now.

It's like, what? Archer, like, this is fucking crazy. Maybe let's take a half step back from the Vulcans. I know we're excited about them. But, like, a lot of people have died. Yeah, let's not make important decisions after traumatic events either. Oh. No, they're not going to.

The beginning of the scene where Archer kind of walks through all the coffins. He does not betray at all that he is looking for sexual icon Admiral Forrest's coffin among all of these totally alike coffins and drapes. Yeah. So all those neither, to his credit, very subtle about looking for the coffin of Admiral Forrest. If you're lost ambassador, I can direct you to your shuttle. He's like, you know what, I don't buy this whole zero-night explanation that everybody's running down. I think this might be one of those trust no-one kinds of hangs. Like everything that seems like it is definitive information, triple check it, because something's afoot.

Gary Graham is fucking made for this kind of line delivery, too. However far you have to take this investigation, you have my support. He's got that gravitas, you know? He does. Pretty cool. Completely lacking in gravitas is to Paul's new boo, Koss, who shows up with what he believes is like a secret message for her from her mom. They don't trust any of the comms on Vulcan, and especially surface to ship comms are

like being monitored now. Ben, I know you know all about finger stuff when one of the partners just isn't into it at all. This greeting that they have with each other, where they, where husband and wife do the obligate finger stuff greeting, she doesn't even look at him during. Like, this is terrible. Yeah, yeah. Be careful what you wish for, Koss, you know. Anyways, the gift is an Idick pin, or a medallion, I guess, that... Broach?

Potentially? No, medallion. Broaches don't come on chains. Yeah. I mean, you can put one on a chain, I suppose. It's a family heirloom. She wears the edict so you can tell the combination. Damn, boy!

I did one for Ben. I did one of those at Ben. I did that. Yeah. That never goes in that direction. We learned from DePaul that her mom is a serenite. And she is in hiding because of this whole thing. Like the serenites being suspected of the embassy attack has caused them to go to ground.

And nobody knows where they are. With how glossy and manageable Mrs. T's hair was the last time we saw her, I never would have suspected that she was a serenite. She looks like she has a pretty established hair care routine. Yeah, I know. In a way that doesn't comport with what we know about the serenites. But anyways, she's showing this off to Captain Archer in the clarinet rental room. And this Idick pin has been modified to project a holographic map of a desert called

The Forge And wouldn't you know it There's a white line path To run through this holographic projection of it This is a really fun scene If you think about the production Because it looks a lot like The TNG episode The Game

You know where there's like a topography Overlaid on the screen And then you see faces You know looking at this thing Archer's doing almost exactly that In this moment in a reverse shot where, like, the topography's laid out on the composition, and then he's looking into the camera and, like,

his eyes are darting around what we're seeing. Yeah. The forge is the location of the sort of, like, Camino de Santiago-type path of pilgrimage for the Sirenites. And it's a real fucking nasty place to visit, unless you are in a nigh religious fervor over all of the logic you're going to do. Longed away. Yeah, just imagine the reward at the end of this.

So Koss came up with this pin for her without any knowledge of the holographic map contained therein. She didn't want him to know about it, but it is not, in fact, a family heirloom. But this was, you know, these Vulcans, they claim that they never lie. And it's just never been born out not one single time. It's like an episode of Vulcan Road Show where Koppel. brings the Yiddick in, like thinking it's all important and special, like an antique. And the guy looks at it and it's like, I'm sorry you had to wait in that line. You can actually buy these in certain countries out of a vending machine.

They come in a little plastic capsule. Turns it over and it says, made on Kronos. Oh. Yeah. There's a little sticker. Such a bummer. Says an authentic? Yeah.

So they think maybe this leads to to Paul's mommy, but it also might lead to Ta-Pow. Every time you say Ta-Pow, I just think that this person is going to be from New Jersey with like a spray tan. And like kind of bigger boobs than you've ever seen on a Vulcan before? I've heard of GTL. I did not realize it stood for Jim Tan Logic. how about this you can't keep archer out of this mission he wants to go he wants to specifically he wants to wear his desert kit sure does like they they've got it in the costume closet we're going to get it out they're on their way to uh to head down well trip is barking at archer about what a hostile environment this is and how much of a bad time he's

going to have but saval is also there and he has come with some intel about how they can beam in undetected, because this place that they're going to is like, it's covered with some kind of scattering field. Technology doesn't work there. You have to walk in and walk out. But I guess they're going to go without, like, going through customs at Vulcan Border Control.

Everything about this scene makes some sense. We've got a thing for the scattering field. We've packed all the water. Archer's got his cool kit. Then the camera finds Topal, and she is wearing the kind of uniform that does not look like it will stay opaque once it gets sweaty. Like, this is what you would intentionally wear to a wet t-shirt contest. Is what she's rocking down here to... And brother, Topal is in it to win it.

Yeah, Archer's going to be pretty disappointed if this is his competition in the wet t-shirt contest. But this is also another scene where it's cool Saval, isn't it? He's down for the cause. Saval has been fully radicalized against the high command in a way that is pretty fun. Yeah. Were you at all waiting for the turn? Like, were you fully ready to believe this the entire time, or were you still on guard a little bit? I mean, it's interesting that Saval seems to have a sense of what's going.

on way ahead of anybody else and also not really want to show his hands to the humans. He's laying little breadcrumbs for them, but he's letting them, like, figure it out for themselves and come to their own conclusions in a way that is a little bit suspicious feeling, I have to say. See, I came down on the opposite end. I was trying to figure out why I trusted him so fully so early. there's something about his performance that's just like oh yeah this is shit that he's doing that's coming at great risk to him clearly yeah like we've seen how this group operates like they they're gonna learn what seval's doing and his ass is going to be in a sling like so i was ready to trust him very logical sling yeah yeah i think i was too but yeah interesting tension with what we have come to understand this character to represent so far yeah yeah so we get some uh Some desert walking around with Archer and Topal. This looks great. I love a sky keyed into a different color like this.

That's fun. It looks nice, right? Like, they didn't screw up the key. Like, all the edges looked good. Yeah. They shot it in a really arid place, so it looks super alien. And at night, they see that there's some patrol craft flying around, but it's like a, if their scanners aren't going to work,

so they would have to, like, visually identify us and they're way too high to do that. There's some talk about how Topal doesn't quite hold with all the same beliefs as her mom. Like, all the Surak stuff is somewhat open to interpretation, and she has not taken the extreme view that her mom has. She's like, I celebrate Sirenismis as, like, a cultural holiday. Yeah.

All the other stuff is mumbo-jumbo. I just like to have a fun meal and give and receive presents. Yeah. Seronica is actually a better tortured portmanteau, isn't it? It was right there. That was right there. Seronica, yeah, culturally serenites. Yeah.

You could have had that joke, but you didn't get it in time. Nope. To believe I can do parody They get chased by a salot And fun use of night time To like, A, make the digital monster

Look better than it probably would have in the daytime And B, make it like scary and weird This is not a creature that Archer seems to have a ton of familiarity with So, to Paul explains that, like, some of them are domesticated but, yeah, they're pretty deadly, and so you've got to get away from them by climbing. How big is a Salat cat box? Like a refrigerator?

Like a coffin freezer probably is how big that is, right? Probably even bigger. I do like the idea of the Salat Doggy Door. Like, it's bigger than the door of the house and it just flaps open and shut. but you're not like that worried about like a burglar coming in through it right because it's like there's a there's a say lot on the other side of that flap you know i feel like if a vulcan burgls your house they're gonna get away with it and you're just not gonna know that you've been burgled that's true yeah do you think it's kind of the reverse where if you if like if you've got like an aging dog you might get that that set of three steps so that the dog can get up onto the bed but if you've got a sale you actually have such a big bed that you need steps for the people to get up on it. I feel like you've got a five-minute set at the comedy store with...

On Vulcan, your bed is Salat Bed. Pet pooper scoop you! They think the Salat's just going to be. on their ass for days and days because these are the sorts of animals that don't give up. They're just going to wait them out. They're kind of stuck on the side of this hill waiting for the Salat to get bored. And it seems like it's going to take a long time for that to happen because the reputation is a slot can wait you out. I feel like there is a lot made of both Vulcans not needing to drink water that often and Salat's not needing to eat that often in this.

Everybody on Planet Vulcan can go a pretty long time between food and drink. Up in Six Bay, we learned that flocks has gone and done what Soval was recommending and triple-checked the DNA scan on that bomb. And it turns out there are anomalies that indicate that Tapau did not, in fact, set it. This is a DNA sample from Tapau's childhood that was put onto the bomb. Adam. It's a fake. Precisely, the evidence implicating to power is false.

Captain Archer's gone after the wrong person. There's a little bit of umbrage taken by Tripp Tucker in the scene about like, you mean you're doing a blood draws on little kids on Vulcan and then we're just creating a crime database of all the children? And it made me think, Ben, like about the time in elementary school, like my class visited a police station and all of our fingerprints were taken like really yeah this was a thing i remember and it's one of the things that make me think that like yeah there of course there's a giant database of our fingerprints and DNA right man i don't think i've ever been

fingerprinted officially but you went to you famously went to prison oh they must have done it there yeah i went to jail not prison i like to nudge it up a little bit I've never been convicted of a crime, Adam. Yeah, I guess they must have. There's probably a mug shot of me in a file somewhere. Oh, God, you've got to Freedom of Information Act that photo. Honestly, you want to know the most popular merch item at Podshop? The mug with your mug shot.

The mug mug, mug, mug shot. The mugshot mug. Come on. All right. My beloved wife used to work specifically in freedom of information, legal stuff. So I will ask if she thinks that this is getable. Ben, please get it. Oh, my God.

It could change our financial lives. So something fishy going on with this DNA. And they can't even tell the away team, like, don't go kill Ta-Pao because she didn't actually set that bomb. Yeah. Because of the scattering field down there, no comms. Did they ever make the sort of plan that was like, hey, if you don't hear from us in three days, we're in trouble, come and get us? Like, they have no plan B, do they?

No, they sure don't. Hot on the heels of Tripp protesting about the idea of sampling the DNA of children, he's like, well, why don't you wake that guy up and let him die so that we can find out what he knows? Because it turns out, Flax has a patient here in Six Bay who was the guard at the embassy complex. And this guy laid eyes on the bomber, on the bomber's way in. And in their discussion of like whether or not they can revive him, Flox is like, no fucking way. He would die. And Tripp is like, I don't care. Tripp's like, you remember that episode where there was a whole other trip talker you made?

and then we harvested his parts. Your morality was pretty squishy back then. Let's ask the 11-year-old version of this embassy guard. All I'm trying to do is prevail upon the squishy part of your morality right now. Can I talk to that one? Local Vulcan is able to convince the Salat to fuck off. Yeah. He makes Salat sounds.

Like how you can make duck calls out of your hand and mouth? You know, like before he got into logic zealotry, he did have a pretty successful reality show called Salat Dynasty with all his other poorly groomed Syranite friends. Hey, give me $1,000, we'll call it either. This is why they don't use the conditioner. It's like it's part of the image, you know? You put it together because you look at a rev here definitely has the flyaways of Assyranite.

Yeah. He's very curious about what a human could be thinking to try and go on this pilgrimage in The Forge. And Archer's like, oh, yeah, I'm just like real into this Vulcan logic stuff. This lady here is my tour guide. She's helping me through it. And Arav is like, well, you're going to die. here. This desert is not fucking around and your weak little human birdie is definitely not equal to the challenges of this. That I feel like paints a rev as a little more concerned about

Archer than maybe he actually is because I also feel like there's a great air of like to Paul's invited because she's a V. You are not. So you can fuck off. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's not for his benefit he's being invited not to join them. I think it's very much a, you're a human, this isn't for you. So there's some walking and some like drinking too much water and eventually Araf turns around. He's like, all right, man, like, tell me some logic stuff. Like, if you're so interested in Vulcan logic, like, what do you know and starts quizzing him?

And Archer is doing such a bad job of faking the funk. Something more basic than. What is Kiri Kinthaw's first law of metaphysics? I'm familiar with Newton's first law of motion. You got to do a better job than this, Archer. This was not a good showing, I thought. Arave stomps off into all's like definite syrinite based just on the questions that he came up with to ask you.

Also, when he stomped off, did you see the back of his hair? Like, just total rat's nest of... Like, he hasn't run a comb through that in a long time. No. This guy gets out of bed and just, like, goes about his day. He does not have any, like, morning prep, you know, isn't put on his face. Uh-oh. Sandstorm interrupting their conversation, and they've got to run. Yeah, I don't think I needed them to come up with a sci-fi alternate name for Sandstorm here. Yeah. You can just say Sandstorm. Right. They take off at breakneck speed. It feels like. their lives are in imminent danger, but we cut away to Tripp talking to Saval about like, hey, we got this guy on the bio bed here. He's in a coma. What if we did a mind meld and find out

what he knows? Sevald doesn't want to do this. And I think it is for a couple of reasons. One, that we know from this show, because the show has told us, Vulcans don't think the mind melda's cool. They think it's dirty and intimate in almost a sexual way. Those that do it are frowned upon. Just many, many reasons not to do it. But on the other hand, it is Tripp Tucker trying to do the convincing here. And I'll let you see what's under my sleeve. You're never going to let that go, are you? Once Tripp talks about the whole idea of the conspiracy, Ben, that's irresistible to a Vulcan. Sure is.

And now he's all in. He is shocked to learn that the DNA on the bomb was faked. This convinces him. And we didn't know that Saval was the kind of Vulcan that could do this because it's not all Vulcans, but he's like, I will do it myself. I won't cease or desist because you really think it's fair use. We cut back down and Archer and Topal are still running as fast. as they possibly can to get away from this storm.

There are digital storm clouds chasing right behind them. Like on their heels. Yeah. It's great. Aerev invites them into a cave to ride out this storm, and they collectively become over-the-entrance boulder holders until they're all safely inside. Once they catch their breath,

A-Rev is like, nice idyll. And T'Paul takes out just enough of it, to win. And it turns out Ereve knows of Archer. He's a big fan of Archer's work on Pajem. And he's like, all right, man, you kind of like talked some shit and lied to me at the beginning. But I think you're pretty cool. And there's a, there's a sanctuary that you can come with me to when the storm is over. Any friend of Mrs. T is a friend of me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. He knows from, uh, from To Paul. He knows from Archer. On Enterprise, Seval goes in for his brain-damaged mind-meld.

That's just a part of this that I feel like they gloss over quite a bit. This receptionist is fucked up! Yeah. And yet Seval's going to go in there with his hands and start stirring shit around. I've never seen a mind-meld where the fingers are touching, like, an injury. Yeah. That's part of it. Ensign Ask With or whatever is fairly well covered with hamburger.

And Saval has to meld through that. what he sees once he's inside those brains are the faces of the people passing through the security gate one dude has a suspicious package but it doesn't get checked and then savall tries to see the face of this guy but then once you get like like this person's wearing a hood and then like once he sees a percentage of his face he disengages with the meld and he seems pretty shocked about his experience. We don't get to find out what So Val Sa just yet because we're back in the cave and Arev is starting to talk about the Idyk and what it means and

what it means in the Surak worshipping Cyranite movement. And he starts talking about how there's this legend that Surak's Katra was in fact spirited away at the last battle with the like warlike Vulcan. and it has been melded into the mind of one of the serenites, and now if you're a syrinite, you can literally touch the mind of Surak, the father of Vulcan logic. Back on Enterprise, Saval, Dr. Flux, and Tripp meet up with Vlas and Stel.

And Stel, in this scene, is fingered as the bomber. It was you. This is a pretty outreact. accusation and extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, but the evidence that they have is inadmissible because it's telepathic evidence. And Vlas is fucking pissed that this even happened. He is like, this is an incredibly sensitive situation. We're working on like something that has like big diplomatic ramifications and you're using those dirty, dirty mind meld tricks. I can't believe you allowed this, Saval. And Seval's like, I didn't just allow it. I did it, motherfucker.

He holds up his hands to his face and he's like, oh yeah. Smell my mind meld fingers. You think humans smell bad on the outside? Went till you get in their brains. The class tells Saval that he is in big trouble, mister, wants the high command here. about this, they're going to want his ass. Speaking of the high command, Arav is ranting about them and the way they overstep

because originally they were just supposed to be in charge of space travel and Vulcan research and stuff, but have kind of become in charge of the whole planet in a way. Seems like that's like the crux

of his complaint is that they've just claimed too much power for themselves. and as they're talking about this, the barrier gets blown up and Topal is injured. Archer is like leaning over her. She's like dazed on the ground and Ereve is trying to cram boulders back into the hole. He gets jerked on a jerk cable across the room. They were both struck by lightning, right? It seemed very lightning-esque in there.

I think he got hit by actual lightning and she got just knocked across the room by like boulders exploding. out of the wall. Lightning hit a boulder and the boulder hit her. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm not sure which is worse, but she doesn't die. I mean, begs the question, Ben, would you rather be struck by lightning or struck by a boulder that's been struck by lightning? I might choose the lightning. I've only ever been struck by an over-the-shoulder boulder holder. Hmm. Yeah, you get too excited by the snap of the fingers. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Those things are elasticized in a lot of places. Yeah, truly are. You know what?

I don't think a woman would ever know that pain of being struck by a under kinetic pressure bra strap. Yeah. It's like we go, we undergo so much risk for intimacy with women and they don't ever recognize like how scary it is for us. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we're holding back emotionally. Uh, so in his last moments, Ereve meld's archer,

non-consensual meld. It's like a slap in the face meld. It's great. I didn't know you could clamp on like this as a falcon. Yeah, he really does. Yeah. Is this, uh, Syrax, Katra, do you think? I was not there in my mind with it being that specific thing.

I thought it was just instructions. I was thinking back to that relic at the beginning and like was... You know what, dude. You're right, because he says carry it. Yeah. And what else could it be? I mean, especially in the context of Wrath of Cotton. Like this is like the exact same move, Spock pulls at the end of that.

It's weird in the scenes that follow Archer's hair is just like really dried out and frizzy. Yeah, it's kind of like using the needle. young hair care routine all of a sudden. I mean, I get this sometimes. On wash day, your hair is just like way too dried out, just way unmanageable. You need that dirt

in there. Yeah. You do. You do. RSV. Back on Enterprise in a corridor, Tripp is walking Savalda the docking port so he can turn himself into the high command. And Tripp just not understand why

why he would ever want to do this. You could be working on this conspiracy thing, Saval. And not only that, like, you're going to the locus of the conspiracy if you're going to turn yourself into the high command. Saval doesn't have an answer for this. They might all be in on this. Like, there's a really good chance, given that the main guy is in on it, that the rest of them are in on it.

And Saval's like, you know what? I have one chance to, like, make my case to the high command, and this is it. And if I run, I'm screwed. Saval is like, you have no way of knowing this. But I'm here to tell you that like the best way to bust a conspiracy is to accept a dinner invitation down to the leadership of your high command. See what they're serving and their weird bowls. Tastes their strange wine and see what happens.

That's going to be the plan. And so away he goes. He might go shoot a guy in the butt. You never know. Archer wakes up in the cave, and it seems like the storm has cleared, and he and Tepal decide to head to the sanctuary, which I wrote down the name of the sanctuary, but it auto-corrected to karate sanctuary. That's perfect. That's all we need. Yeah, I think that's what it's called.

Anyways, I guess they bury Aerov off-screen, and they're now traveling at night, and Archer is just like following his nose. where to go. And Tepal is like, there's nothing over there. And he's like, yeah, there is. I know exactly where we're headed. He's acting like he doesn't even need water. Like he's some kind of Vulcan. He leads to Paul down a rocky gash toward a rock face.

And you've got to be so sure if you're Archer. Because he does not do that thing where he sticks a handout before walking through a stony wall. He goes face first. into this wall of rock. I thought this effect looked great. Yeah. It's a holographic rock that obscures the entrance to a ruin, and Archer cryptically warns to Paul not to fight back,

and then suddenly they are grabbed, and that is the exciting cliff upon which we hang. Did you like this episode of Star Trek Enterprise, Adam? is it all cliffs in season four it's oops all cliffies i'm here for it i'm here for it i'm liking it so far yeah not obvious from jump that that's what we're going to get at the end of this great episode i thought lots happen do not agree with off-screen killing of sexual icon admiral forest i don't know if i was feeling spicier about it i'd say it's a bad episode for that reason, but I think the rest is so strong and interesting that I really, I don't know.

I thought after we left the expanse, we would just get a bunch of one-off episodes about Star Trek of the week and ride this thing into the sunset. But I'm getting a season here in season fourth that really seems like it's trying. And it's trying to fuck around with itself in a way that I find really. admirable and good. I kind of expected a season seven of Star Trek the next generation, like a masks, like masks after masks

type of season, but it's not. There are real stakes here, stakes that fill up to the top of one episode and run into the next in a way that so far has been pretty satisfying. Love the forge, Ben. How about you? I like The Forge too. I did a brief Google to see if there was any explanation

for why Admiral Forrest's death might have happened off screen like, oh, was there some production reason? Is there some tea? I haven't really found anything. It's mostly just posts of people going like, why do that? That sucked. Yeah. So yeah, I do

feel like that is kind of an unfortunate mark against what is otherwise a pretty strong episode. They cut out the part where to Paul and Archer give a rev kind of a lot of screen time with his burial and funeral and like archer has a moment to say some words to eulogize him you see his body you see the whole thing barely knowing this guy and yet forest gets nothing forest gets an anonymous coffin in the cargo bag yeah yeah weird but yeah

I like the episode. I'll be interested to see if Bacula in the coming episode starts to play it differently. Like the, you know, like the way McCoy started to be a little too spocky at times. Yeah. In Star Trek 3, I'm curious to see how that goes. Good call. Well, I'm curious to see about what's in the priority one inbox, Ben. I am too.

Why don't we go there? Let's do it. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channel. Need a supplemental income. Pop-a-mone. Supplement. Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.

Ben, we got a promotional message here. Here's how that goes. Is radical transformation through yoga possible? I never thought so. But in July 2024, a P-1 paid for by the knuck-sucking yogis of Seattle. led me, Adam Pranika, to seek out Troy Lucero at Acme Yoga whenever I'm in my hometown. I feel like I'm Colin Jost reading an update joke that Che wrote here. Through Troy's expert guidance and patience, I can honestly say that, yes, I have achieved the ultimate.

And I can no longer leave my house. Some say Troy has ruined my life, but I'm happier than Mayweather in the sweet spot. It's just like being back in the womb. Who are you? Insom Travis Mayweather. Parents must be very proud. When I was a kid, we called the sweet spot. Who are you?

I'm the helmsman. I guess growing up a boomer has its advantages. And your mom, very proud. That's true. Takes practice. Other than keeping Anthony Mayweather up at night, I'm not sure what we expect to accomplish here. Owen, happy very belated birthday, Troy. Wow.

So here's the big call to action. Want to ruin your life? Visit acmeyoga.com. Message, Troy, or drop on by. Experience what yoga with like-minded FODs in a post-flexibility society can be. Really, really well-done message here. Yeah, wow. From Vala, John.

John, Jason, Molly, and Nerea. Actmiyoga.com. I mean, I have noticed how limber and post-flexible you've seemed to be lately at him. I used to be really great about my yoga practice. Like an almost everyday practice for me has become two or three times a week in a way that I have noticed for bad reasons. I got to really get back into that as a regular thing. I think what's important about any self-care is that you find a way to use it to make yourself feel bad about yourself. I feel like Ben, you could be like a version of Orange Theory that's like that's just whipping your ass into doing the workout, doing the yoga that you should be through guilt.

Ben theory My cup runneth over You know I've got plenty of guilt to share Yeah Yeah Our next P1 is from Peter from Sweden It's to Ben and Adam

Goes like this Hi I should have done this A long time ago From TNG Justice And this is a line From Tasha Yarr

I've listed my report On their customs and laws sir Fairly simple Common Sense things It cannot be the only Star Trek idiot Who thinks Tasha is illiterate.

Do not stop this thing you are doing. All the best to all listening, Peter. Peter, it feels like so long ago, and yet I remember that moment with amazing clarity. Who too, yeah. Peter from Sweden, thank you for listening

from all the way over there in Sweden. I have some Swedish neighbors here in L.A. And one of my son's best friends, born to a Swedish family. They speak Swedish in the home. I'm surrounded by Swedes, all of a sudden. That sounds great.

Yeah. Swedes sound like very quiet neighbors, just staring off in the middle distance. Yeah, inviting you over for FICA all the time. It's nice. Ben, I know what FICA is, and I always have. But maybe while I take this drink of water, you could tell the FOT's what we're dealing with when we're talking about FICA. I think it's just like the Swedes take it way more seriously than most other people

that they get to take a break and have some little pastries and coffee. Like, Fika break at work in Sweden is apparently like pretty sacrosanct. Like, nobody is fucking with your Fika if you go do that. I feel like American society started to and then got away from

the whole pastry and coffee compulsory lifestyle. I know. What happened? That used to be very, very apparent. Yeah. We need to get back to taking more pages out the playbooks of our brothers and sisters in Sweden.

It's true, man. They got a lot figured out up there. Page three of our Priority One message book is from Eric. It's to Josie, Mike, Marie, and the boy. Their message goes like this in honor of our first polo match, I introduced the gang to the hit segment

Polo, Polo! Come on. Or boy. I told him. Best sport in the world. One for basketball, one The response swimming, one part wrestling. I didn't know it was such a rough game. The response from them, it is missing one polo. And in parentheses, the shirt.

Does this violate the rule of three in comedy? Anyway, I hope to convert at least one of you into an FOD, and I'm leaving the message as an Easter egg for you to find on your journey through the back catalog. So Eric is wondering if the merch is missing a polo. The merch has polo, polo, or poyo, right? The merch is a polo shirt? Are they saying, is the merch missing it, or is the game missing it? Like, should there be a trivia question about polo shirts in the game?

Yeah, I mean, we haven't played that game in a long time because we have not seen a depiction of water polo on the show in a long time. You know, like Dark Archer just isn't as interested in it as regular Archer, I don't think. The next time we play that game, I will try to include some sort of clothing trivia. That's going to be easy for me. That's pretty fucking confident from a guy who's never... Actually, you won that game once. Yeah, I'm good at that game. Uh-huh.

I have a new trend going that I win it. Hmm. Well, your new thing can be supporting the shows by going to maximum fun.org slash jumbotron. It's where folks go to write a priority and message that we read just like these, whether or not you have a website with instructions on how to self-suck or anything else

Maximumfund.org slash jumbotron is how you do that and we appreciate it. Hey Adam. What? Did you find yourself a drunk shemota? Incredible. Drunk Shimoda! I think it's great that Dr. Flock shows up

for a pickup basketball game not having changed to play basketball. He's just wearing what he would always wear to basketball because he is just going to stand at the three point line waiting for the dribble drive and the kickout for the corner three that you know

is going to come splashing down when you're dealing with the Dr. Flux who's got mid-range and long range. Making it rain out there. Look at that guy. Yeah, so he's my drunk promoter. What about you? I got to give it a trip

for getting in Saval's nook when Seval's trying to... Yeah, that was fun. Like he's trying to look over the guy's shoulder to see what Seval's A-T. haven't passed where it is. Pretty great. And I like Savalgo and like, hey, can you fuck off?

I'm trying to concentrate here. Yeah, that's a fun moment. Good composition too. Yeah. Like composition for comedy. Yeah. Faith of the fart. Well, we got to figure out what we got coming up next week on the show, Adam.

Season 4, episode 8, it's called Awakening. It goes like this. Archer and Tepal encounter the Seroenites, a radical group hiding in the Vulcan desert how the NX-O-1 crew contends with Vulcan power plays. All right. Well, I'm going to go over to gachdab is slash game where we keep the game of buttholes the wheel of the Reich of Quantum Leap. That's just going to tell us how we're going to enjoy next week's episode, Ben.

Today's app was a regular episode because our runabout landed on square 45. But by the end of this role, we're going to be somewhere else entirely. I believe it. to learn as you play. Roll. Ooh, boy, we landed on square 13, which is just so close to a porthos ate my note square.

Shula! Did I win? Hardly. That would have been an episode where neither of us use notes at all. A square I don't believe we've ever landed on before?

I think it used to be called something else and we did do it. Yeah? But, yeah, it was like into the nebula or something like that. How about that? Yeah. Yeah. But, no, we get to use notes next week.

We're not crazy. Regular old episode. How about that? Looking forward to it. I really appreciate all of the friends of DeSoto who help fund this whole operation by going to maximum fund.org slash join, making their membership a monthly one. You get bonus episodes, you get merch from the network, and you get that warm, fuzzy feeling of knowing that this thing gets to keep going because of your support.

Yeah, if you don't have a gift idea for an FOD in your life, it being a prime gift giving season, hook them up. Yeah. With supporter status and access to the bonus feed and all the rest. I think they would enjoy that tremendously. Maximumfund.org is how you do that. We've got to thank Wendy Priddy, our producer. Got to thank Rob Adler, our social media director and editor of the greatest newsletter. A great monthly periodical that we send right to your email inbox.

Sign up for that at greatesttrek.com. We've got to thank Bill Tilly, the card daddy, who makes really funny trading cards of every episode of this show and is now doing Greatest Trek episodes as well now that we're covering TOS. And boy, they are so funny. I really love looking through those trading cards, man. I've got to thank Adam Ragusea, who made our original Diane Warren parody song

and Dark Materia, who made the original Picard song. Hey, check out a community of FODs online. There's a Facebook group. There's a Discord at drunchshamota.com. There's a Reddit that is remarkably positive and chill relative to most things on Reddit. They're all really great places to hang out with FODs. Check out the wiki.

Greatestgen.wikia.com, I think. People have been studiously keeping track of all of our weird little in-jokes over there. A lot of fun to poke around that as well. With that, we'll be back at you next time with another great episode, Star Trek Enterprise, an episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise, where Ben and Adam are starting to act like our personalities may be getting taken over by the souls of the ancients as well.

How long would it take before people could tell? I want to say like four or five episodes. Yeah, I think so, too. I think Windy would notice first. She'd be like, God, smooth sailing on this edit. You guys seem less drunk than normal. Less drunk and less sick. Make it so.

I'm over here with the joke iron pressing the wrinkled linen of my tortured metaphor. What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't know, man. I thought it was fun. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.