The Greatest Generation - Biff Inches (VOY S3E12)

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

When Voyager encounters a virus infecting an alien race, The Doctor is uniquely suited to cure the ill. But when the outbreak becomes bigger than anyone was expecting, Captain Janeway will have to bare arms in order to defeat it. What are the food rules on a shuttlecraft? Does Neelix make the milk flow? What’s the worst monster sound? It’s the episode that puts hands on hips!Exchange scarves for goods at PodShop.bizSupport the production of The Greatest Generation.Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is now regularly streaming on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Bringing what the U.S. is for Captain Captain Captain. Bringing what the U.S. is for Captain Captain Captain. Welcome to the greatest generation. It's a Star Trek podcast from a couple of guys

who are just a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pryanaka. Adam, I feel almost stupid bringing this up because I don't have what I feel like I need to have to do this. You're often wandering into a conflict without the tools necessary.

Yeah. I feel like I'm bringing a knife to a gunfight, but do you want to have a card war? Yes! Where more? It's been no formal declaration of war. And this trick you bring us some luck. That nonsense is centuries behind us.

Why? On the mark! Ben, it's been so long! Yeah, it's been a long time. We have a long standing tradition of opening up packs of trading cards on the show. I feel like a tradition that probably drives people crazier and crazier every time we do it because trading cards have gotten so much more valuable over the years. That's right. There's a whole industry made of people buying expensive sports card packs,

opening them on TikTok and then like screaming, revealing the cards. We could be making money doing that, but instead we're doing this. We don't scream enough. That's their problem. Well, the other problem is that all I've got are Star Trek customizable card game, mirror, mirror expansion pack, decks. That's all you got.

Yeah. I love digging into the box of cards that I have because it is where I keep my collection of Biff Yeagers, my natural Yeagers, if you've been listening and watching along for years. Look at this mighty stack of them. My Biff inches of cards that I got here. You've got some real girth there. Yeah. I've stopped giving them away

because that used to be a thing that I'd give out at live shows. Yeah. And also, like I treated them as challenge coins, you know? Well, let's check in on the gager bubble while we're sitting here. I have an alert on the eBay that tells me when new Yagers are posted.

Wow. And there was one posted recently. Looks like the current bid is 69.65. Nice. Oh, I'm gonna go ahead and bump that up to $69.69. Yeah, why not? Oh, I've been outbid. I've been outbid already.

It's now $7.65. I think you now have to set your limit to $420.69. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and put that on the expert Shimoda AMX card. Oh, shit, I withdraw my suggestion. You know what's too bad is this auction ends in four hours? God, if we had just pushed back our record time. A little bit further. We could have done this live auction recorded to tape. Wow, that would have been some screaming, right? I mean, that's

that's the screaming people expect when they engage in card content. Yeah, so to answer your question, there are a handful of these on eBay all the time. Because they were like ten bucks when you bought the bulk of the Yagers, right? There is one on here pretty much permanently listed at $500. listed at $500. And I'm seeing like a half a dozen others in the 70 to 80 to $50 range. Wow. And just to recap, this was a card that was worth less than $5. Before I created the Yager Bubble, and now look at it.

If this podcast has one legacy, I was making something worthless valuable years ago. Before NFTs were even a dream and some tech bros ball sack. Yeah, if Yeager should have an octagonal avatar on Twitter going forward just because of the Yeager bubble. Well, it sounds like you're walking into this card war with one arm tied behind your back. I still have this stack of deep space nine cards, Ben.

Those are the sticky ones, right? Yeah, the, even the ones that I've opened, they stick back together. What the hell? Yeah, I don't get it. And- Things with these card companies would know how to print stuff.

I kind of just wanted to open them all. Because the promise to this is like the autographed card and I've never gotten a deep space nine autographed card since opening these. Okay, fuck the war. Just open, just blow the whole stack. Let's see if we get some autographs. Let's see if we get a patch of uniform fabric.

How many packs do you have? 14. Okay, so let's see if we get some autographs. Let's see if we get a patch of uniform fabric. How many packs do you have? 14. Okay, so let's see. 14 nine card packs. You would think that in whatever nine times 14 is. I'm pretty sure it's some good. No one's ever figured that out. Hahaha.

I didn't, I didn't, I went to school in the, in the late 80s and early 90s. I don't know the new math. I can't do that kind of thing on the fly in my head. Yeah, let's just hang out and open up a bunch of cards. That sounds fun. Yeah. Do you want to stream this on TikTok or?

Oh, and just start screaming. Tell you what, if I get an autographed card, I will start screaming. This is a very fun card called the wormhole that's got a bencisco with his eyes closed. Oh yeah, that's when he finds a profit in the desert. Yeah, nearly kills his old dad, a desert adventure. That was big fun. Poor dad.

No autographs, no pieces of uniform there. The highlight probably being the wormhole. Like what's the dream? What's the garment? I'll tell you what the garment is. I want a Jake Cisco patch of clothing. How amazing would that be? Hey, hey Ben, listen.

Eww. Just a... Listen. Yeah. Just uh, bustin' the cards up so that they're free to shuffle. Does bustin' make you feel good? Always does. It's sad these cards are so sticky that's probably why they're close to worthless on eBay. Yeah. that's probably why they're close to worthless on eBay. Yeah, is the signature getting transferred onto the back of the card that it's pressed against? Here's something that you could do while I'm opening cards.

Is there a Star Trek Voyager collectible card situation out there that also gives us the chance of autographs or pieces of clothing or whatnot? Cause that would be fun. That would be fun. I mean, I don't hate the idea what I'm finding in my search results is a lot of pre-assembled, like a binder with all of the cards in it. Just like someone else's collection? Yeah, somebody else's collection for 2400 dollars.

Tell you what card I just got that would had we've been playing card war would have been the trump card is Tom Riker returns Nothing's beaten Tom Riker returns. Oh, man. Tell you what though been another card that could have also been called the wormhole Yeah It's too bad that that picture of him doesn't have him peeling facial hair off. It's a visual I'll never forget for the rest of my life. That was fucking incredible. Okay, this is a Star Trek Voyager Season 1 trading card sealed box with 24 jumbo packs. Oh. You like the jumbo pack because it's thicker and more absorbent? I guess so.

Plus one embossed crew card and a tattoo. It must be like a temporary tattoo included in the pack. What if there were a square on the game of buttholes the the little caretaker, that was get a tattoo. Now that I'm Jewish, I don't think I could do that because it might upset my ability to be buried next to my wife. Did you know that going in? That not getting tattoos was the price of marrying this woman. Did you really like dramatically hem and ha

in front of your fiance at that point about that being a difficult thing to sacrifice? Probably the hardest fight we've ever had as a couple. Now I never wanted to tattoo. I've never not been embarrassed by my past self. So I know that any tattoo I got would turn into a source of great shame very quickly. You know what's hilarious to me about the idea of you

and your wife being buried next to each other, is that I also know that she totally spread out into your plot. She would roll over and steal the coffin from my side of the plot. Yep, uncomfortable forever. Yeah, yeah. Hey, do you think a joke like that would play well

where I to eulogize you? Like, oh yeah, yeah. I want you to speak at my wedding and I want you to do that bit. Okay. I have a... Can I say wedding, I meant funeral. You did.

You did, and I think that's an interesting slip at the town there. Maybe as if they're both equivalent in your mind. Mm-hmm. Oh, I got a very special card. Oh yeah? It's called Tane's Raid. In it, Brantane?

The very same. It is a very folly-looking card. It's a little thicker than the rest. Oh, boy. Look at those reflective phaser beams. Yeah. Yeah. Who could forget Tane's raid? Tane's raid, of course, occurs between the wormhole and deep space nine. Right. Yeah. Taint the station. Taint the temple of the prophets. I'm burning through these card packs here, Ben. Right, yeah, taint the station, taint the temple of the prophets. I'm burning through these card packs here, Ben.

An area signature. No signature and no clothing. This seems so fucked up. It's such a tease. Kids went in and spent their hard earned birthday card money on these cards. Yeah, yeah. With the promise of an article of clothing from Alida, what little clothing there could be made into a card by that character. That's why it's so rare. You know what I answered the question, but I didn't ask it. What's the

article of clothing that you would want in a card context like this? I don't want it to be stinky as the thing. I don't want it to be stinky as the thing. I don't want to smell the actor that wore it. So I love the idea of like, 11 year old band opening up the Deep Space Nine cards and getting like a clipping of like white briefs with a corner of brown stain on it. Hahaha.

Quartz briefs. Adam, I found a set of 22 factory sealed packs from Star Trek Voyager Series 2 collector cards for 20 bucks. Should I order this for us? Are those like the original TNG cards we used to open? No, these are like, I think these are from the era. They're not they're not like art Artistic posters based on the episodes. I Missed those TNG cards. I know and I wish that they made that portfolio prints. Yeah, I wish they made that style for all the series That would rule I

keep striking out on these DS9 cards. You know what they keep doing. These fucking guys. In every pack they include a paper ballot to vote for my favorite deep space nine moment of all time. I check the box and then I mail it in. Let's send that certified mail and see what happens. Do you think anybody's watching that be over? Hey listen, a mail in ballot just as real and authentic as any other kind. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

If you are still in line to tell them what your favorite part of Deep Space Nine is, they have to let you tell them. Stay in line to tell them what your favorite part of Deep Space 9 is. They have to let you tell them. Stay in line. Down to the last pack bin. Oh, I got a special card here, another foil job. Oh, okay. Another thick boy.

It is last stand, the greatest space battles. Oh, and this is the destruction of the valiant, the defiant class ship. Is that the one that the kids were? The very same, yeah. So I had in total pretty much a case of deep space nine cards. Out of 126 cards, two foil cards and no signatures. What the fuck? I've separated out like the specials. Yeah.

I have two foil space battles, one foil ships at the Dominion War and then this Terry Farrell kind of uh, film cell looking cut out card. Weird. But not an autograph. Huh. No autograph and no clothing. Damn. That would also be my policy if I were an athlete. Like walking through the tunnel.

No autograph, no clothing. I just picked up somebody listening. Somebody tuned into this to hear us screaming about opening a really exciting card up. Didn't get it. Yeah. Starting this episode off with a huge disappointment. As it frequently goes for you and me, no screaming, no satisfaction. Kind of a bummer. Yeah. To answer your question, I do want to get more cards headed our way. What were the ones that you decided on?

It says 22 Factory Shield packs, 8 cards for pack, each pack also contains a tattoo. It says that some are autographed. It says set autographed. Well let's make that the next thing that we do because it seems like, I mean, we're not going to get stuff like that in the collectible card game anymore because those are just things to fight with. Alright, I'm going to place an order and when we come back, we are going to talk about Star Trek Voyager season 3 episode 12, macrocosm.

Reaver course. Unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo tubes, I'm not turning around. We start in the most dangerous place in the Star Trek universe. A shuttle away from the ship. I didn't want danger to befall Nelix and the captain in this scene, but I did want it to befall the man that they are talking to in this scene. This is an alien that is meant to be really annoying to deal with and boy did they achieve what they set out to achieve with the tack tack. They suck!

I mean they suck but also they are hilarious because they engage in a form of like vogue diplomacy. Yeah and somehow Nielix is really good at this. And you, your hospitality, your generosity, your patience. And the captain is just not interested in trying. Come for I assure you I intend to. Please make her quiet. Captain, please. I understand.

I read a really funny thing about how this idea came about, which was Kate Mulgrue puts her hands on her waist, often enough that it was noticed as kind of like a physical tick that she was doing. And so this was written at her. Like, what if the thing she did the most was something that got her into diplomatic trouble? Yeah, it was a middle finger in a certain context.

Yeah, yeah, it's big fun. That is very fun. Yeah, so this is a representative of the TACTAC and Janeway. On the verge of blowing it with this guy, but Nielix like seals the deal. This has been a three-day trade mission that just the two of them went on in a Previa, and now they're headed back to Voyager. And the opening scene after this is just kind of a nice light hang between Nielix and Janeway. I mean, is anything a light hang when you're stuck with Nelix on a shuttle for three days?

Do you think he assumes he's making all the food? I wonder about that. That's pretty tight quarters if he's back there like with a camp stove. I think you gotta replicate everything if you're on a Previa or smaller. I think gonna run about, you know, you've got, you've got the room.

You've got different rooms, but on a previa, it's open concept, you know? I wish so badly we had a fully developed shuttle bay situation that had all of the types in there and when the crew went out to make a selection, there was like garages and stuff where they all went and you could select one and go in because I mean the reason I say that is it doesn't make any sense why you would choose this type of shuttle for this

type of mission because who knows where you're sleeping. Right. Yeah. Do they have a runabout on the voyage? I don't think they do. I don't think so either. I think that's too big. Yeah. Yeah. Head them on the D.. I think that's too big. Yeah.

Yeah. Head them on the D. That is a galaxy class stahs you. When you're rolling galaxy class, you're the flagship. You're getting all the coolest stuff first. It doesn't surprise me that Voyager as a, as primarily a science ship with a science mission, will get that stuff last.

Yeah, that's fair. But it's a shame, you know. You know what else is fair and also a shame is Nielix getting promoted to an ambassador I don't know if that's official No takebacks Yeah, not long after this proclamation they start scanning for the Voyager, which is not at the At the rally point that they agreed upon. It's about a light year away and a drift.

So that is the dilemma heading into opening credits. And when we get back, there's a really nice shot of the shuttle pulling up to the ship. Kind of like, I almost felt like a Star Wars shot more than a Star Trek shot, you know? Yeah. But they can't really get a sense of what's going on.

There's interference. I like how much time goes by with so few answers, right? Like no one's picking up the hail phone. Not really sure with the sensors if there's anyone even on board. Yeah. And like, it's interesting like when they get on board, it's the captain and Nielix like coming out of the shuttle bay. And the direction, like the way the camera works and the use of music

and the way it's lit, none of that really feels horror film. Like, but it really was creepy. They're not really leaning on any of the tropes of creepiness from the history of cinema. This place is a tomb, but I was totally creeped out nonetheless. It feels like throughout this episode, it's having a hard time choosing whether or not to borrow from the aliens franchise or make a very specific choice to reject being inspired by those movies, you know? Yeah. It would be hard to like do it whole cloth because the Voyager is so plush relative to the Nostromo, you know? Well, I mean, your description of a Voyager,

which may or may not be empty and being shot like it is made me think of like the LV426 base was a giant facility that also was ostensibly empty until they found where all the people were. I mean, there's so much in this that is taken from alien. And I think it's a self-conscious homage more than just theft. But good artist, Barrow, great artist, steel at him.

I mean, not enough is made clearly of Janeway being stuck with Nelix as one half of a dustbuster club, because when they land the shuttle in there and start walking around, I mean, it is just the two of them, and he is her backup. And she has got to deal with that. Yeah. And it's like they find like somebody's equipment in the hallway, meaning whatever happened happened while people were just like going about their days.

Yeah, that's the creepy stuff that starts to crop up like people's toolkits strewn about like un eaten food and unflush toilet. They go into Ensign Wildman's quarters and she left the Newlic show on and Captain Janeway just gets the heebie-gee. He's like, oh, she was actually watching that. Ensign Wildman has left the New York show on and also the breast pumps. Which suggests New York makes the milk flow in a kind of fun way. Right, right. That's what gets her going. I like the question and answer here of like, why is it still playing if it was started 11 hours ago?

And that question is answered when we see the screen and it's the Nelix and Hoda portion of the show where they're just drinking wine and just sort of shooting the shit. It's loose, it's fun. That 11th hour of the today show is always the loosest part. Yeah. And then as they're watching a little screen comes up and says, are you still watching? Yeah. Press play to continue. They're interrupted by a buzzing sound they hear outside. And this is the first of many instances of this sound, which absolutely

gave me the willows. There is something primal about my reaction to this sound, but I think a lot of people might have the same reaction to it. It is very off-footing. Did you watch this on headphones or did you watch? Just on normal television speakers. And I bet it's even worse in headphones. I was thinking about watching this on headphones,

and I decided to not, and I'm really glad I did. I'm kind of in headphones. I was thinking about watching this on headphones and I decided to not and I'm really glad I took on headphones. Very effective buzzing. So they see this buzzing thing. Its shadow is what they see and they see it moving around a corner and they kind of chase it down the corridor toward the transporter room.

But there's nothing in the transporter room except for a hole in one of the transporter pads. It looks so much like the hole made by the xenomorph blood in aliens. And so trained are we to regard hole as xenomorph hole? That like when when it's touched, you're like don't touch it, it's acid. Just reflexively. Yeah, yeah. I guess they didn't have trichorders in alien.

So they didn't know what the chemical composition of the stuff they touched was. Right, but they did have the motion detector device. Which kind of did the same thing. Look, I'm telling you there's something moving in an eight-hour. So they get some like alert noises from a computer in there. And the main power is failing on the ship. The ship was fine when they showed up, but it is quickly going to hell. So I've got to get up to the bridge, see if they can get auxiliary power on.

It's a weird kind of version of the how like what would happen to a city if if all humanity were removed from it. Like if you take all of the crew off of the Voyager in 11 hours shit goes bad. Really bad. Yeah, like there are so many like, I don't know I watch that show below deck sometimes with my wife, and it's about like people that work on yachts, and like so much of their day is just like wiping every surface down with a rag because the salt would build up and corrode everything. And if you wanted to look shiny and nice,

you have to be vigilant every single day about that stuff. And I bet running a starship is very similar, you know? That's why it's so important to make sure our billionaires are comfortable because they're making wiping jobs and many of them. There are so many people that wouldn't be able to feed their families because they wouldn't be employed wiping things.

Yeah. Why don't you think of the wipers? Get away, get away, get away. So, Nielix and Janeway get on a turbo lift to go to the bridge. That makes sense as a course of action here. Get to the bridge. There's going to be answers there.

And the complaints begin from Nelix about the temperature primarily. Yeah, it's too damn hot. I guess they're not like venting heat into the cosmos because of the power being out. And as they're on their way up, some of this fly noise happens outside the turbo lift. It sounds like a guest is right, if you're French. They get stuck and then like a poker, pokes through the door and squirts goo all over

Nielix's decolatage. Yeah, I mean, you've probably have a tab of this kind of video content just open on your computer all the time, right? Only when I have headphones in, Adam. Yeah. This is a horrifying moment, but maybe more horrifying to me was the choice Nelix makes in not taking off his shirt. That looks like a jacket, right? Like he's gotta have something on underneath that. Right, and it made me think like Nelix is very comfortable taking off his footwear and showing us his bare feet.

I was waiting for him to take off his shirt and show us whatever's going on under there. Maybe it's a garment that you have to pull off over your head though. And if you're thinking about a bunch of goo on the front of your shirt, if you have to pull that off over your head, that's going to get all over your face like inevitably. Yeah, that's fair. So I don't know, but like kind of a long time passes with Nelix

just covered in alien snot. They did a great job with the continuity on this, like a few shots later, they're crawling down Jeffries tube and that stuff is dripping onto the floor as they go and I was like, wow, they like a re-good is shirt every time. I mean, Nelix has a pretty high tolerance for this, way higher than mine. I mean, my rule is I take off a garment covered in anything, and it doesn't have to be alien snot for me to do that. Ugh, yeah. It's so gross.

I've seen it. I've seen it happen, folks. Like a single drop of iced tea at a cheesecake factory. Mmm. I'm going cross arm over the top. Wow, at the restaurant. Yeah. He got perfect in the top. While at the restaurant. Yeah. He's starting to deteriorate a little bit as they move through the Jeffries tubes. Fucked up enough that Janeway does that thing where she's got to leave behind a soldier on the battlefield. Yeah. She's got to go ahead for medical supplies and come back

and as in any horror film when when two people split up that's curtains for one of them come back. And as in any horror film, when two people split up, that's curtains for one of them. Yeah, I mean, Neelik starts having sex in this Jeffries tube and you know the monster's gonna come out and get him for doing that. And we finally get to see one of these things. I mean, I think we saw like a limb in the turbo lift, but we get to see one of these things. I mean, I think we saw like a limb in the turbo lift, but we get to see one coming down

the shaft and it's got three kind of squid tentacle type arms. Yeah. It doesn't seem to have wings. It sounds to me like flies flying around, but we don't actually see what's making that. There's an intense moment where Janeway is hearing but not seeing the trauma being visited on Nelix. And it made me wonder like why don't the Jeffries tubes on the ship have the ladders of the type where you slide down them like in submarines?

I thought the same thing. Because she's got you like hand over hand, foot over foot it, going up. And when she's going up, I didn't notice, but when she needs to go down, oh, she's so slowed up by that. So fucking slow. Yeah.

So she comes back and there's just a Jeffries tube with like a snail trail down it, yeah, and no neelix. Yeah. So she is now alone. And the next several minutes of the episode are wordless, Janeway. Like it's very little dialogue for kind of a long time.

I love this pivot that the episode takes. Yeah, it's really great. It's really fun. Like, neelix and Janeway having a conversation between the two of them, I think, was a smart choice in the script to kind of get us up to speed about what's going on. But now that Neelix is gone and letting Kate Mulgrew just do the acting of somebody that is alone in a scary situation is such a power move

that this show has in its quiver. This episode uses all kinds of storytelling methods to get us through it and I'm glad its first technique is wordless like later on we get some voice over. God help you if you use voice over in your work my friends. But for right now I love being just present in the silence of this thing. It's great. And she has made decisions that change what her goals are without announcing them out loud. Like, she's no longer trying to get to the bridge. She shows up in engineering. That's not articulated at all. Like, you just have to trust that the captain knows what she's doing. And what she's doing is finding a crate full of like, Rambo equipment and getting into

pizza oven killing mode. Was that crate always there? It's not what I would keep the armory. Hey, let's put the box full of grenades and guns right next to the warp core where we do our experiments on robots. I've got to admit to you because I thought about it so long. on robots. I've got to admit to you because I thought about it so long. The very real desire to get a KJ pipes scene here. I wanted to see the captain's vest. I wanted to see some badass costuming and I got it here. She's sweaty because of the increasing heat on the ship. Yeah. And boy, this is awesome. She's got an action backpack.

She's got an action ponytail. She's got an action phaser rifle. And she keeps it moving. It's fucking great. Yeah. We never see this, but they mentioned that some of the crew wound up hiding in a cargo bay. And I have to assume that they had her go find this

in engineering because they didn't want to have it in a cargo bay because then she would find people too early. Yeah, you have to write it that way. Yeah, so she makes it up to the bridge and she's like doing computing and putting out a distress signal and trying to get power started. I love how there's aliens not everywhere but the carpet. Yeah all the hard squeegeeable surfaces have snot.

You check yourself into a hotel room that looks like this. You almost can't be too disgusted by it. I'd be almost impressed like Like, nothing hit the floor. Wow. It's all walls. Nice. I've been in a hotel room like that before. You've made a hotel room that before. Yeah.

I got it all over the window in the walls. This bridge is deserted bin, which made me wonder, had one of these bugs thrown a banana split at her, which she also be deserted in that way? It's a good question, Adam. I think everybody's glad you asked it. I don't know the answer. It's not as deserted as it looks because we keep getting the POV of something bussy and you think she's going to turn around and see something big like what Nelix saw, but she turns around a couple

of times and doesn't make whatever is watching her until it stings her. And she slaps it and it's like a little guy, it's a little bug. It's interesting to notice what visual language has taught us for decades, which is fish eye lens means big and wide angle lens means small. It definitely throws you off and the earlier encounter that Nielix has throws you off as well. And it's hard to feel like she's in too much trouble because she gets bit but she slaps the thing really quickly and waves a light over it and she's she's off doing new stuff. The black light on her arm is like

doesn't show much and she's like excellent that is not come. I wasn't in this filthy hotel room for too long. She heads down to Nielix's restaurant, and this just fucking got me ripshit. Like if you're sick, don't go to a restaurant. Yeah. Come on, guys. Yeah, and look at all of them in there. Like the fucking first officer is sick,

and he goes out to eat. He doesn't look as bad as Ensign Kim, who looks like he got really fresh and dope. Yeah, she waves the black light on him and that's, that's come. She could do that at any point in any episode though, and that would probably be the result. The guy knows out of party.

Yeah. She gets an A phaser fight with one of these things and shoots it and that sucker blows real big. Yeah, it's tentacles all over the place. Gross. After she kills the big critter, she rolls Chicoet over and finds that he has... Not quite a nub in, it's like a big sore on his neck. This is great makeup work. It is so gnarly.

So good. It's like a great combination of makeup work and digital effects, because little flies come out of it. Yeah. Oh my god. And it's not lit. Super hot. So it's nicely obscured.

It is like inching up to a rimmick level of disgusting. Yeah, that's great. This was exactly the moment in the episode. You probably thought of this a lot sooner than I did. Where I thought, where is the EMH? Why wouldn't he be your first call? I think that the one major plot hole in this episode is that they don't even attempt to contact the EMH.

I guess you could hand wave it with the bioelectric field messing up the sensors, maybe it messed up internal coms too, but I just wish that they'd said something about it. Maybe they didn't, I just missed it because I was writing notes or whatever, but she makes it down to 6'a and gets a buster in her nose for her trouble. Captain, need us to say I thought you were something else. He's like defending Six Bay, which has remained uninfected and he's really happy to see her. He brings her in and she's got a lot of injuries.

He's got a two minor surgery on some broken bones And so while she is lying down on the bio bed, getting patched up, he tells her the story of what happened with the ship ever since she left. Yeah, so we pivot into a different style of storytelling via flashback and voiceover. God help you. They get a face time from a mining colony. These aliens looked a lot like Tosk from DS9. They're like,

yeah, we've got some kind of virus. It's not like a huge deal, but if you could send some help, that would be pretty great. And the image is like, hey, I'm in a position to go down on an away mission now. And I'm also not going to be susceptible to this virus because it's a biological agent. So why don't you send me and nobody on the ship has to worry about getting infected? Great idea. Perfect black. Make it yourself. I'm trying to help you see this as an opportunity to grow.

Make it yourself. Tremendous idea, but also a guy that has never been on a wave mission before. So there's a lot of like first timer energy from the doc as he does this over explaining everything he's doing on the open comms channel. The regulation says they're supposed to maintain. He tells Chicoete where he's going to walk, where he's walked, and where he just walked. Ha ha ha ha ha. Chicoete is like, that's not what talking dirty is. walk where he's walked and where he just walked.

She could have days like, that's not what talking dirty is. Doctor. And the doc finds a minor down there. And by that, I mean like a minor who is like getting, getting rocks and stuff. Not a kid. Not a kid. The baby's not in the episode. And this minor has one of those festering neck wounds and is in really bad shape.

So like, it's funny, like the tonal pivot goes from, the doc is oversharing his away mission information to, oh my God, this is so gross. We're seeing neck wounds again. Yeah, the minors at this point are really desperate for help. Like they are begging to be taken back to the ship and the doc kind of flies off the handle at Chico Te when Chico Te says that he's not going to entertain the idea of beaming a bunch of sick people up to the ship with an unknown disease.

This is another part of the episode that's really atonal too, right? Like this is an awful threat that we're witnessing, and the doc's reaction is one of excitement as a scientist. Right, excitement and also, like, he is, he is like failing to factor in the safety of his crew and his eagerness to help these sick people. This is heartbreaking because the doc is down here basically on a battlefield like wanting to beam people up.

And Chicoate is like, you know, we can't do that, man. We can't beam up a virus of unknown origin back to the ship. That's how you get phased. You want to get phased? No one wants to get phased up here. So they beam the doctor back up alone, but some of the virus gets into the transporter buffer in this beam up. Like it was in the air and he wasn't quick enough, like purging whatever the transporter

got. So, unknown to everybody on the ship, it's already on the ship and the doctor is like working on an anti-serium for this virus. But isn't it cool though that like it really plays with your expectation of threat though, because when the doc beams up he's like, oh I got some of that shit on me, but the buffer got it so we're fine. But we aren't fine because the buffer actually helps the thing spread. It was a fun bit of like you think you're safe, but you're not.

This virus is somehow able to move around in the computer system too. Yeah. So yeah, the doctors got 12 hours of work to do on the anti-seerum and they're gonna go do their rendezvous, pick up Janeway and Nielix. And we cut down to Nelix's restaurant where Tom Paris has been substitute chef in Neelix's absence. He really got into the weeds here.

I can't believe it. I did not know that it would be possible for Paris to do worse than Neelix. But he's blaming his equipment, which I think is fair. I mean, he lost an entire burner situation. A poor workman blames his equipment, which I think is fair. I mean, he lost an entire burner situation. A poor workman blames his tools, Adam. I think when they're neilix's tools, it's okay. Yeah, that's fair. A good workman blames neilix's tools. Yep. That's the added, right?

Uh-huh. The other half of it. So he wants BLT to fix the replicator because they're not going to be able to eat prepared food. And he's kind of a dick to her about this. I couldn't tell if he was trying to flirt and missing or just being an asshole, but she opens up the panel and they find one of these gel packs.

And it's a sick gel pack and it squirts all over. Blanna. It is a gooey react by BLT. And again, an instance of something alien shooting on someone and them not immediately reacting in a way, like trying to wipe it off. There's no, ah, get it off me, get it off me. Yeah. I wonder how much of that is just like acting for screen.

Otherwise, it would just look weird. Back down in Six Bay in the present tense, the doctor finishes this story about how the virus started to spread to the crew. And he says, but anyways, the great news is that I've perfected the Andagen and I'm pretty sure it works, but I haven't even done like a Phase One clinical trial. And Katherine Janeway is like, well, there's coffee

and you're getting paid, Doctor. She's gotten her first dose and he continues his story about going to the mess hall and trying to figure out what's going on with BLT. This is when they realize that the virus was airborne and they try to quarantine deck two. The dock gets a sample of the virus virus and tries to work on addressing it with KESS. This is when BLT's next start producing more viruses. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why?

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God. This is the first time I've really put it together that the mess hall is right below the bridge, huh? Yeah, I think it is, and on the same deck as six pay. I mean, when Nielix is cooking, do you think you smell meal time on the bridge? Do you think that's got to be annoying? I mean, it's actually kind of nice, because we know that he will bring canopies up on the bridge. Do you think that's gotta be annoying? I mean, it's actually kind of nice because we know that he will bring canopies

up to the bridge. Gotta piece my ass. You don't want those to travel for too long before people get a chance to eat them, you know? Plus in a place where it must be so hard for the body to feel time like in a circadian kind of way. It might be nice to be able to detect meal time

just through smell, keeps the day going by. Yeah, yeah. So with the mess hall locked down, the doc brings back a sample of this stuff to six bay where he and Kess give it a look over, but it grows, it grows so fast that it does that thing where it busts out of the microscope and starts flying around. Computer, are you up to level three,

force field around the microscope station? The first example of some pretty bad human on CG combat in this scene, or the doctor has to wrestle with this thing and hyposp spray it. You're right. Pretty hit and miss with how the opticals work. Yeah. I think that object tracking algorithms just weren't that good in this era.

So when his hand is moving around, the virus that's supposed to be in its grip underneath it is just not moving in the same way. And so, yeah, it doesn't quite work. But, yeah, the crew of Voyager is getting sicker and sicker. The doc is trying to help people in the mess hall and gets set upon by some huge viruses that, like, go after his hollow emitter. So he's got to run to the safety of the Six Bay and it seems like he basically ran back there, finished up work on the serum and that's when Janeway and he met up. So that brings the two timelines together.

This is such a great combination of body horrors here because like the thing that's really made me feel gross throughout the episode was the sound, but the sound combined with this virus thrusting its proboscis into the doctor over and over again and missing and him dodging and stuff is just like, oh, it's such a gross combination. That's really sicking. Yeah. So their plan is we're gonna make two canisters of aerosolized weaponized anti-serum. We're gonna take it down to environmental control and spread it throughout the ship and We're gonna split up to do it. So we have two chances of someone getting there. The doctor's idea for this is

like really out there though. He wants to put this into kind of a string of pearls configuration and then load it up into a rocket and then like set it up in a holodeck program of Alcatraz. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. It is the late 90s, though. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's what was cool at the time. It was wrong with these people, huh? I mean, grow up. Bit of levity here when Janeway and the doc are moving through the Jeffries tubes and the doc makes a quip about not being able to find his way to his destination and just how complicated it is to navigate through those tubes on a federation starship.

Yeah. They get to this joke ahead of Galaxy Quest because I feel like this is a bit that they have in Galaxy Quest also. Also, shouldn't he know everything? He shouldn't even ask the question. He's just doing it for long, right? Maybe? Yeah, it's for a long time, right? Maybe he knew as a medical doctor that Janeway could use a little bit of lightning up.

Yeah, feel like at least she has control over this, knowledge of how to get around. Exactly, a little confidence booster. So Janeway is like in running combat, shooting down Jeffries tubes, killing multiple viruses, and the doctor really quickly is stuck hiding in a shuttle pod because he did not make it down to environmental control, and Janeway is going to have to finish the project. But she's setting up the aerosolized anti-serium when bangers start getting dropped on the ship.

And you can guess who this is. It's the fucking tack tack. Yeah, it's a tack tack, a tack tack. It's an attack tack. It's an attack tack. That's an attack tack. This guy vogue's his explanation to Janeway about needing to control the virus outbreak

by destroying all of its carriers. Voyager infected. We are terrifying you. And I guess in this way the TAC-TAC are the daisy cutter at the beginning of outbreak. This is their strategy. It's really horrible to hear what happened to the mine. Yeah. That's fucking poor guys. Yeah.

But she convinces him like give me one of my earth hours to solve this problem before you destroy my ship, uh, which he's cool with. But unfortunately in licking shots at her ship, he has destroyed environmental control. So she is not going to be able to use the original strategy to solve the problem. And the problem is also just that the virus has been replicating itself algorithmically, and there's like a million of them on the ship now, and they're all over. Like, it's very dangerous to move around. So how are they going to get the virus to all converge on one spot?

I wish we had seen a composition just filled with these things. I understand why they couldn't do it because it was so difficult to just make one look plausible. Yeah. But like, to see what a swarm would have looked like. Would have been good. Would have been great. But yeah, you're right.

What are they gonna do? They need to give them a target. Yeah, like putting a piece of meat on a plate on a different picnic bench when you're having a hang in the park so that the hornets go over there and don't bother you. I'll do you one further, Ben, that same piece of meat wearing a thong with like a couple of vented sides. Yeah. Our favorite holiday party here is back. The guy with the side slit thong. And all of his bikini and brief clad friends who are just trying to enjoy a nice tropical getaway when macro viruses come and swarm the hollow hunks and

hollow babes. This poor guy with the thong though, God, he just gets his meat hammered. Like, that's all these viruses want. Yeah, it's like an ape that somebody tried to domesticate and rips his dick off. Ha ha ha. Right on camera, probably the bloodiest thing we've seen on Voyager.

That's too bad. RSVP, long thong. Ha ha ha ha. So, Janeway starts the process back up in environmental controls. She heads back down to the holodeck with a bomb full of this anti-sirom that she's going to throw in and explode the viruses, but just as she's doing it, a virus attacks her, knocks her on the ground. Our second example of really bad human on CG combat. In college we called this CGD. When we saw bad CG in a movie or television show, sort for a computer-generated diarrhea.

And that's really what this looks like. You won't hear me saying anything bad about CGD, Ben. A frequent sponsor of the program. Being a purveyor of CGD. Yeah. I like it. It works for me. I did that the one good moment of this is when she knifes it.

Like that part really worked. Like it really looked like she stuck the knife into something substantial there. I read about how they did this, Ben, and it's exactly like what you think it is. It was a blue screen styrofoam ball that she stabbed a knife into, like a styrofoam ball on a fishing wire. Man, that part looked great.

It did, and that's indicative of how these effects work best, right? It's always a mix of practical and effects. Right, exactly. So she throws the bomb into the holodack, a huge green explosion takes place. They clear the ship of virus, and she says, Hey, thanks, tack, tack.

Purification will cease by work. I am so glad they made the decision not to make Janeway do the vogueing. It's funny when Neelix does it at the beginning of the episode, but I don't think there's any way for Janeway to recover as a character if she were to try to do that. Yeah. She does put her hands on her hips after they sign off. Yeah. Pretty good.

They know what that means. Yeah, that's like hanging the phone up and then going like, fuck you. So the button on the episode is in Janeway's Ready Room and Chico Tay enters non-worse for the wear. His neck looks fine. Yeah. He's got the minutes from his personnel meeting and repairs her underway. Ships going to be fine. The crew's going to be fine.

And Janeway turns down an invitation to go into the holodeck for some skiing. Yeah. Claiming that she's a little sore from her experience shooting all those aliens. And it is a extremely oddball ending to this thing. Like when she stretches her neck, I was programmed to look at her neck and see if there was a sore on it with flies coming out. Like it felt like one of those like the end of the horror movie indicating that the horror is not over moments. The end of the thriller video.

Type of ending here that we didn't get. And that's just me projecting on the episode. The episode did fine. It did fine. These are my expectations. Well, how fine does it do, Adam? Did it rise to the level of you liking this episode? You know, probably the easy to get along with most of the time.

But I don't like bullets and I don't like friends and I don't like you I really like this episode and I even like the effects and here's why I feel like you can if you were to sketch this thing out the the macro virus and and pre-visit and Start comping it in. What you get here is good enough. Where they compensate for the lack of effects quality, they make up for in all of the other ways you can make something gross through sound and through penetration. Really. and through penetration. Really, like it's the fly sound

and it's this fucking spears that it's got. Staggy. Those things are the- Are the Lordeys proboscis? Yeah, like it's the jangly keys that cover up the best they could do in 1996. And that's kind of a miracle. And that's what makes me totally get

with the horror of this episode. I love a horror episode in Star Trek and I really loved Janeway's hero turn here It's a totally different version of her than we've seen before. She is super heroic this season season three is the season of Janeway Because we're getting every different flavor of how she can command. And it's great work by Kate Mogrew and I mean another episode that makes me just really love Janeway all the more. She's just a great, great captain. I agree.

I think that, you know, while the effects don't look as good as they would if they were done on Discovery today. This episode is a ton of fun and I also respected that they didn't decide to throw the episode keys to the doctor at the midpoint. Like, it sort of becomes the doctor's episode for a second and as he's recounting the story to Janeway, and I was like, okay, so logically, they've just handed the baton off to him

and he's going to be the person that does the rest of the saving of day and It would even make sense from a writer's room standpoint like okay the doctor can move around now Let's give him a save the ship episode to To really hang a lantern on what a difference it makes if the doctor is Immune to certain things the way the rest of the crew is not and Instead they chose to make the virus a like it's still a threat to him It's not the same kind of threat, but it's a threat nonetheless and so yeah

It stays Janeway's episode and she's fucking badass. I agree Fun times. Fun times. Well do you want to see if there's anything fun in the priority one inbox? Watch out for the tentacles from the priority one inbox bin. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channel. Need a supplement. supplement? supplement. Yes, extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.

A first message here is of a promotional nature. It goes like this. Big Rod's a hope in humanity where when he conceived Star Trek, can you believe this was a novel idea at the time? Sure you can, because it still is. I spent 2020 watching TNG Invoidger asking myself, is a little hope in these times too much to ask for? Fast forward to 2021, I'm writing the unauthorized biography of Clark Kent, when suddenly I become addicted to the greatest generation.

Somehow, even with Ben and Adam distracting me, I managed to produce a free audiobook. Listen at sunoflpodcast.com. A story about hope for all life everywhere. Wow. So this is a free audiobook. In the form of a podcast, the unauthorized biography of Clark Kent. Sunoflpodcast.com and it's spelled EL. So sunofelpodcast.com and it's spelled EL so sonofelpodcast.com

right it's not it's not like a Spanish speaking podcast like son of L podcast right now that's not what this means at all stop trying to put it in that box that's not the box it goes in everyone's writing books then we're we're hearing this all the time yeah meanwhile I can't get through 10 minutes of an edit without clicking open Twitter and flipping around like a maniac. Good job, getting things done, Isaac Bluefoot.

Yeah, that sounds like a great podcast. I'm very curious about the life and times of Clark Kent. Ben, our second priority one message is from Zach Brager. It is to Adam and Ben and the message goes like this, wow, 350 characters doesn't cover as much as I'd hoped it would. I'd wanted to tack this on after my Geinen is a villain question, but ran out of room. I got into TGG right after you finished TNG and started DS9, and despite the blow to my sanity,

I've never regretted the decision. I love you guys, thanks to TGG, my work week starts on a high note. Oh, thanks, Zach. I love it. Zach crawling back in our P1s. Nice work. Sliding into the P1s like. Speaking of which, our final P1 is from she who does burlesque and it is to you know who you are and

The message is send nudes Send nudes Yeah, she who does burlesque would like you know who you are to send nudes? She who does Berlask also a frequent creeper into our p1s? Yeah Hey, here's what I'd recommend. You know who you are. Mm-hmm Best get on those nudes.

Get them sent. Make sure it's nicely lit, you know. That doesn't just mean bright light. It means tasteful light. Don't depend on Louis de joys postal service to get those nudes to Chew does burlesque either Right. No. Maybe send them FedEx or something. I feel like to get a priority one message head to maximumfund.org slash jumbo tron fill out the form pay the money and

Get your message on the show form, pay the money, and get your message on the show. I already won, message. Hey Adam. What's up, Ben? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? Incredible! Drunk Shimoda! I feel bad, because I don't want to make

Nelix or BLT the Shimoda just for doing something that I don't understand. And by that, I mean, just like having shit shot all over you and not really reacting to being covered in shit. Yeah. Who does that? But I think I'm going to split them between the two.

Split my Shimoda between the two because that is just not realistic to me. Kind of a half, half and half Shimoda, huh? Yeah, and neither of them really give the full react to their circumstances. Yeah. In BLT's defense, maybe she's like, that's the warrior instinct. either of them really give the full react to their circumstances. Yeah. In BLT's defense, maybe she's like, that's the warrior instinct. Right. Yeah.

That is... She's got the gromba to just let that goo sit on her hand for as long as it needs to be there. Yeah, but there's nothing about what we know about Nelix that would telegraph that he would be brave while being covered in alien snob. Yeah, he should have been running around going, yee-eel, yee-eel, gross. Yeah, he should want to throw himself off of one of those Jeffrey's two bladders. Yeah. My Shimoda is Tom Paris just for the way he treats BLT when she comes into the restaurant.

Yeah. I understand he's stressed out in the kitchen and sometimes people lash out when they're under pressure. I just don't think that that's a nice way to treat your coworker, Tom Paris. I mean, BLT throws that shit right back in his face, though, but. Yeah. She gives as good as she gets, but she didn't deserve it, you know? You brought up the question earlier as we were talking about it in the yet, but like you wonder if this was flirtatious. It was so...

Yeah, it's like a kid on a playground being mean to a girl because he doesn't understand his feelings for her. Right, yeah, felt that way for sure. Objection noted, we'll do this without you. If you do it, if you do it, if you do it, we'll add. Well, Adam, the next episode of Star Trek Voyager is Season 3 episode 13, Fair Trade. Voyager encounters a region of space named the Necrut Expans. Since Neelix has no knowledge about space after this point, he tries to make himself useful

to the crew by trying to obtain a map from an old friend named Wixaban, who in exchange asked for Nelix's help with some less than reputable dealings. This is probably the episode where they should just let Nelix off, right? You got us up to this stop, Nelix. Thanks for everything. It's like when you're hitchhiking and somebody can get you like part of the way. Yeah, yeah, they can get you to Reno, but no further. Yeah. Well, that's the anxiety that this poor guy will be dealing with.

Wow. Looking forward to it. Also looking forward to seeing how we will be doing it. For that, we'll head to gach.biz slash game, where we keep the game of buttholes. The wheel of the caretaker. Currently, our runabout is on square 44, and this is a rare scenario, Adam. There are two Cocoa Nonos we could hit on this roll.

Whoa! You're required to learn as you play. Roll. This is like one of the only positions on the board, where that's possible. If you roll a two or a five, that one is a, of course, a a space but hold it will take us down to The second row. That's what my money's on second row, baby

It's been an awful lot of time there Wouldn't surprise me. Oh my god. I've rolled a one Keeping cocoa no no Tula! Did I win? All right. Keeping Cocoa No No, likelihood for next week's pool. Save it for me. Cool. Yeah.

Okay. Wow. Good job by you. That's just you stretching the taffy, Ben. Yeah. A lot of suspense building up in the game of Buttholes, the will of the caretaker. Yeah.

Hey, thanks for listening to the show this week. We'll be doing a normal episode next week in the meantime if you like the show. Hey, consider rating and reviewing us on your pod catcher of choice. It really helps us get the show in front of other people. That's overcast that you're using. Hit the little star under the episode

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It's a great place to make some friends. Yeah, we're starting to do audio grams, so if you see one of those on the social media, share that, share it with friends. Yeah, that makes us show. There's some funny stuff they did. Yeah, it makes it way easier than just saying randomly that you like a Star Trek podcast.

Sometimes that can be insufficient. It doesn't tell the whole story. This is the Star Trek podcast I like specifically. The music you're hearing right now by Dark Materia. The music you heard earlier made by Adam Ragusea. Also true. He's probably busy making a souffle or a cotton candy or any one of a number of Miriam food experiments he does.

Week to week on his mega popular YouTube channel, it's just amazing. Well with that we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Voyager and an episode of the greatest generation Voyager where I start to get a little bit insecure about whether I offer anything to the podcast anymore and uh hijinks and sue. Oh man you don't have to worry about that until your yearly review. That's in months and months. I'm made in the shade baby. I don't know. I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop. I can't stop.

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