The Greatest Generation - Blue Bonch (ENT S1E19)

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

When an artifact of unknown origin knocks out the entire crew, one underwear-clad Commander Tucker remains conscious in the decon chamber. But when the criminals come aboard with their heist carts and Santa sacks, Captain Archer plays their hierarchy to his advantage while Trip tries to yes and. Where could paper-based old person games help tell this story? What’s the turkey of Enterprise? Who has the thirstiest website? It’s the episode with a very disorganized pile of women.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

Wow Adam, we had so much fun in London, but no more shows for those fancy British freaks. Oh jeez. All of the remaining shows we have this year are stateside. God's country. London FODs, you just got banned. Wow, I thought you had a better show out there than it sounds like. You were very funny. No, yeah, I'm cranky.

I'm jet lagged. Oh, there it is. Yeah, it's the jet lag talking. But I am also just genuinely super duper excited for our show coming up in Madison, Wisconsin, the one we're doing about Sub Rosa. And then of course, November 2nd, we've got a show at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles, California covering Conspiracy, one of the most important Star Trek episodes of all time. Importance the right word, Ben.

I'm really pumped for both of those shows. I hope people will head to greatestjentour.com and get some tickets. You can also find a link there to buy a Priority One message, but those are probably already sold out by now, right? Come see us in person. This is the only time we're gonna be out in the world doing Greatest Gen shows this year Hope to see you out there GreatestGenTour.com. Get your tickets Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica. I'm Benjamin R. Harrison and I, Adam, I'm feeling a

Bible-shaped hole in my heart. Wow. I mean I can't remember feeling that way ever. I'm just gonna have to, I'm gonna have to yes and you ban and say yes me too Is it a holiday today? I don't know about well sort of because in a recent code 47 we unwrapped I believe this was Sarus far of our that sent this in if I'm not mistaken That's great a copy of the show Bible for Star Trek colon enterprise, a show Bible that is comically skinny compared to the one that we used to have for Star Trek The Next Generation. Look at that thing, a skinny king. It is a skinny king. And I was trying to remember, I think what we used to do is I would just

kind of like riffle through the pages and you would say stop and that would be our chapter and verse for the day. That doesn't seem like it'll work with the four page document or whatever. Yeah, I mean, I think there's probably 25 pages here. There's entries for each character and then there's entries for like, let's see, the ship and the Suleyman. And I think there's just kind of like an overview entry, a backstory entry, which I feel like we know the backstory. Do you want to hear the...

This is a very Archer forward episode. How about we just read the entry on Captain Archer? What do you say about that? Let's start at the top. Yeah, I like this. Okay. It's good to see you all in church. It's called to the Bible.

That's the way God wants it. I don't know why, dude. All these questions? Is a little blind fate too much to ask? Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah. Captain Jackson Archer, early 40s, physical, intensely curious, born and raised, an explorer by his father, an engineer who

worked on the Work 5 project. Unlike the captains in centuries to come, Archer exhibits a sense of wonder and excitement as well as a little trepidation about the strange things he will encounter. He holds a grudge against the Vulcans, who he blames for impeding humanity's progress, but his science officer is Vulcan and he's struggling to reconsider those preconceptions. Although he has a strong sense of duty, he's a bit of a renegade. He's not afraid to question orders or even disobey them if he feels in his gut that it's right. Archer was there when the first girders of the Enterprise were put into place, and when

the Vulcans tried to suspend the maiden launch after the broken bow incident, claiming humans weren't ready... Can you crack a beer during Bible study? Because that's what this cool pastor's doing. Archer helped persuade Starfleet to press on. He has mixed feelings about Ta-Pow, no L there. She embodies the arrogance and high-mindedness of the Vulcans who kept his father from realizing his dream of space exploration. But he also realizes that Tapau is a more seasoned space traveler and he often relies

on her wisdom and experience. At times he even enjoys her dry sense of humor. Archer and Tapau will continue to butt heads regarding humanity's new role in the intergalactic neighborhood, but they will also develop a long-lasting friendship that is rather unique for its day, the bond between human and alien. Archer is something of a mentor to Spike, and though he enjoys Spike's unique sense of humor, he's also aware that what the other people might think of his chief... what the other people might think of his chief engineer, there are times when the

captain has to keep him in line. I didn't know that Tripp was named Spike originally either. That's... After gremlins, you can't name anyone Spike! It's too scary and threatening! You would think that I would be open to it given that my program launched on Spike TV which then became the Paramount Network, which is the precursor for Paramount Plus! But I'm totally against it! There's a little bit left. But I'm totally against it! laughter laughter

laughter There's a little bit left. The Kirk's and Picard's and Janeway's will one day have the benefits of captains who preceded them. But Jackson Archer is the prototype. He's making history with every light year

because he knows his captains logs will be studied for years to come. He keeps especially detailed reports. The logs themselves will be both personal and humorous." Jared Suellenthal Have you gotten the sense that Captain Archer is a little bit self-conscious about major decision-making because of what the Bible study implies here that he may be thinking about this in terms of like future folks reading about his decisions and like I don't get the sense that he's making a decision with that in mind at all. Or reluctance to make decisions based on judgments

of future people. I think the only one he's afraid of is that admiral. I mean, I think that there are people out there who imagine themselves to be great men of history types. You and I know people like this. Yeah. Who, like, imagine that, like, every utterance is something that ought to be studied. Yeah.

Archer's in an interesting spot where, like, he doesn't seem to be a raving, undiagnosed, narcissistic personality disorder person. But I feel like there could be that, like, that creeping consciousness at the back of his thoughts all the time, like, you better get close to getting this right, because other people are watching every move we make.

So maybe there's a little bit of that in his performance. Or maybe he's just distracted, like, why does my ID and my birth certificate and everything say Jackson Archer, but people call me Jonathan? What's that about? I would really love the first part as a little more of an explanation as to why we're not really on the level with Captain Archer up until now. Like, it would explain a lot of his vanilla-ness, you know? Yeah.

We're watching a bunch of movies for our other hit Star Trek podcast, Grey's Trek, right now. And for some reason, I think just because of the context of watching these movies when we're also watching a show about Captain Archer, like anyone kind of coloring outside the lines or doing something that is not expected of them or kind of breaking the rules hits really interestingly for me when I watch a film. Because when Archer does it, it does seem to carry

so much like petulance with it. Like, I don't want to do the right thing. I want to do my thing. Exactly. If there was even more of that, I would feel greater conflict out of Captain Archer, and that conflict would make it more interesting to me, you know? Well, this has been really fun. I'm glad we have Bible study back as a thing on the show. I already feel like it's so weird that character names change from Bible writing phase of creating a new TV show to actually making the TV show phase. Like what was it about the name Spike?

What was it about the name T'Pau that had them go like, ooh, we really gotta, we gotta fix that. That's wrong. I feel like this has been done in previous Bibles. And I don't just mean like some names and dialogue written in red. I mean, like some character names have changed. I feel like Kira's name might not always been Kira. I mean, Wesley certainly was a name that wasn't always Wesley Crusher, right?

Yeah. Or maybe the Crusher family name had gone through some evolution there. I have read that when translated from the original Hebrew, Spike and Trip are... It's really easy to get those two confused. Yeah, that's why everyone at your cedar is so forgiving of the many mistakes you make having to do with that name. And your weird insistence on using that name in any conversation. Yeah, yeah.

My goy son-in-law trying to talk about Spike again. Speaking of folks who just don't fit in culturally. Jesus Christ. Boosh! I just got Adam'd the hell I Was just trying to do a transition and what what happened was like the oozy just like sprayed the wall and the mic and the monitor I'm trying to pivot to show here you let loose the whole studio over here is full of bullet holes Man not to mention the host. I'm so sorry I'm trying to miss you with that from now on, Ben. As we dig right into Meet the Ferengi on Star Trek Enterprise Season 1 Episode 19. It's called Acquisition.

It's so weird to see the Enterprise adrift but all lit up. I almost thought maybe we weren't seeing a ship in trouble because of how brightly lit it was. Like, they did not shut all the lights and murder out the ship, but they did give us the crazy angle in space. How long do you think it takes before the ship just starts listing from no one at the controls? Like I really wonder if in this era of Star Trek, you really need to have someone on the

stick at all times. Otherwise you're just going to go cattywampus like this. If you're into gravity well, imagine it's pretty big risk, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Mayweather's like, uh, we get no Mayweather in this episode, by the way, but afterward, you would suspect that Mayweather would be like, See? You need me! You need me to keep things smooth. Just like being back in the womb. Who are you?

Ensign Travis Mayweather. Parents must be very proud. When I was a kid, we called it the sweet spot. Who are you? Iign Travis Mayweather. Parents must be very proud. When I was a kid, we called it the sweet spot. Who are you? I'm the helmsman. I guess growing up a boomer has its advantages. And your mom? Very proud.

That's true. It takes practice. Other than keeping Ensign Mayweather up at night, I'm not sure what we expect to accomplish here. Speaking of Mayweather, I think he got a little tiny bit of stuff to do in the last episode, but he has really been absent from the show in a big way for like five or six episodes, it feels like. Maybe he couldn't play dead.

You gotta play dead this episode. Do you think that they were like, hey man, I know that we haven't been giving you that many lines in the show. We're thinking about letting you put on the Ferengi loaf and be one of the Ferengi for this episode, because otherwise, like, you'd just be sleeping on the floor in every shot. And then they were like, ah, we went with Clint Howard instead.

Has a main cast character ever played the antagonist in an episode of their own show on Star Trek? Oh, like put on loaf and jump to the other side of the conflict aisle? Cause we've seen like series to series that's happened, but we don't get same series antagonism, do we? With the Loaf, I feel like you can get away with it on Star Trek.

I think so too, yeah. You could even make jokes about it, like, God, that guy looks like the Andorian Riker, what the hell? Andorian Riker. What the hell? Andorian Riker would be great. So attractive. Yeah. His antennae are always just, like, firmly erect.

Boing-oing-oing-oing-oing. Riker's never been that shade of blue. Like, no part of his body, you know? He would never, like, bullshit someone about blue balls. That's not his way. Surely would not. Not a chance. Do you recall ever hearing the Ferengi language before?

I don't recall, and it was neat to hear it. And more than anything, I like not getting subtitles. I like how this show is pretty orthodox about waiting for the Universal Translator to catch up and you being in the place of the crew to experience what that's like. Totally. I did wonder because often when I watch Enterprise or one of the other Star Trek shows, I'll leave the subtitles on so that I can get, like, the spellings of alien names and stuff for my notes. But then I, like, turn it off when I'm watching something else.

And so I'm, like, constantly turning it on and off. And I was like, oh, maybe I turned it, like, all the way off instead of to automatic. Did I fuck this up? Feel the same way. Yeah, I think you and I did the exact same thing here. So we get these Ferengis. They are in another ship, like, hovering nearby the entrepreneur,

and they seem pretty psyched that the entrepreneur is adrift in space, and they cozy up to the ship and dock right at the normal docking port there on the side. When you get a look at this Ferengi ship after the theme, it really looks bed buggy, doesn't it? It looks like a little parasite. Yeah, but without the pincers. Yeah, just the body.

It's a proto-insect. The Ferengi will keep with an insect-inspired design aesthetic for hundreds of years, but this is the early edition. So they sneak aboard and everybody on the crew is just kind of like passed out in the hallway. Our first sight of the Ferengi, they're wearing like Bane masks and they appear to be horrified by the ear size of the humans that they're discovering aboard this ship. This episode doesn't take this turn at all, but if you just take two big steps away from the comedy of this and recognize that these Ferengi wanted to get down with the thievery so bad

that they did zero research about the ship they were boarding or the people that they'd find inside. Like, that the ear thing was a surprise, really kind of tips you off to how little interest they have in the people that they're stealing from. No flux given by these guys. They are wandering through the ship, they make their way down to engineering,

and there's this kind of fume-y object in the foreground, which I really liked that it was like very Ferengi on second glance, but on first glance, I was like, oh, that's just some set dressing and engineering. Because I don't know this engineering section that well yet. Great call. And then, you know, they go start messing with it and you're like, oh, like this must be the thing

that knocked everybody out. I assumed that they'd beamed it over, and that Ferengi were like another early adopter of the transporter technology, but we find out the origin story of this thing a little bit later. We watched the movie Alien on our hit new Star Trek adjacent podcast,

Greatest Trek, where we're continuing our off season with the film festival. And a big, big part of that movie was what you do about quarantining something or someone who's at an interaction off ship that you're not sure about. And Enterprise, we've learned, is really careful about rubbing gel on each other and being in the decontamination chamber and so forth.

It appears as though they just, like, got this thing on board and opened it up right next to the warp core, like every other Star Trek series has ever done. This is the aftermath of every scene we've ever seen, where they bring an artifact of unknown origin into engineering. What are they doing? It's incredible.

So they like press the, it's like a sphere, and then there's a part that has popped up on top that's like a vertical smoker, and they press that thing down and the smoke goes away as they continue this walk. It's like the big green egg of Ferengi devices. It really does look that way. They find T'Pol, they're very interested in the fact

that her ears are not shaped the same way as the humans. And there does seem to be some interest in the sexual implications of T'Pol existing among the Ferengis, but that kind of gets scolded away as a secondary consideration to all the stealing that they are getting up to. If you're a Ferengi and you're seeing all these round human ears, you got to be thinking that's like Conan O'Brien famously drove that Ford Taurus. That era Ford Taurus is very round, you know?

It's fairly uninteresting. It's very basic. But when you start like tracing the curves of T'Pol's ears, that is like a 50s Cadillac El Dorado tail light, you know, like with the point at the top. There's something very interesting about that. Del Dorado tail light, you know, like with the point at the top. Yeah. There's something very interesting about that. Oh yeah.

The like National Highway Safety Board would never approve a design like this to be street legal now, but what a beaut. This is the sort of area you keep in a barn under a tarp. Take it out for special occasions. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh, you find one of those with low mileage. Hang on to it, brother. Yeah.

Yeah. You're going to put your kids through college. Mm-hmm. With a pit woofy of that kind? Hmm. Yeah. Let me ask you this. Is it because Ferengi, we are not seeing the threat of sexual violence in quite the same way as

if it were any other type of alien. Because Ferengi is code for goofy and non-threatening generally, you know? Right. Like dangerous, but not in a scary, upsetting way. Yeah. Like silly way. Yeah. Yeah.

Like if this had been Nausicaaans or something, I feel like it would have hit different. Unless it was Enterprise Nausicaaans, and then you'd be like, oh, she'll kick their ass the second she's awake. Like, if these were rogue humans as a part of another mission entirely, you could see that being even a greater threat

than the Ferengi post here. Just another one of those deep space freighters full of, like, totally fucked up people that are total dead-enders with their weird lifestyle. The more of those deep space freighters full of like totally fucked up people that are total dead enders with their weird lifestyle. The more of those that we meet, the more we see Mayweather and we're like, what happened to you, man? You turned out so normal. It turns out the whole freighter life thing was a lie. Like he lied on his resume in order to get stationed on Enterprise. He's like, this is actually my first time in space.

I got a big confession to make. You know what? That makes Mayweather really interesting if he just sort of act as if his way all the way to the helm of Enterprise. That's why when he was talking to that guy, he had to be like, what was that thing that we used to eat? Nutri-Packs, right. Are you fucking kidding you don't remember

what you ate every single day for the first 25 years of your life? Remember those aliens we massacred on that moon a couple light years ago? How did we do it? We, yeah, we orbitally bombarded their base. That's what it was called, yeah. ["Fare you so daylong"]

These Ferengi send some info back to the other ship, and I guess by now they've taken off their respirators because their fumigation device has been stowed. The lead Ferengi is on the Turbulus. He's got to do it first, right? Because at this point they aren't sure if the smoke is still in the air. Yeah. And he reaches over one of his ears and he slowly takes it off and he is... Jeffrey Combs. And Jeffrey Combs is beautiful.

Yeah, he really is. A real all-star cast of Ferengi's here. We got Clint Howard as Muck, Ethan Phillips as Ulis, who seems to be the daemon or similar for this gang. Jeffrey Combs as Crem and Matt Malloy as Grish. Grish seems to be kind of the deepest background Ferengi, but less shit on than Crem, the Combs character the entire time. How'd you like to be Matt Malloy in this episode? Really, the fourth tenor... of this guest star cast, you know? He's very much the Ringo star of this for Engie Beatles. He's not... not a that guy.

It's just compared to the other three, that's tough. I would say that, like, more recently, he's become more of a that guy. I wish that instead of dumping on the Jeffrey Combs character like this episode does in terms of like everyone treating him like shit and making him do all the shit work, they were doing it at the Matt Malloy character as kind of a meta commentary

on the guest star hierarchy. You know who I really wish they'd given this fourth role to is Mike Gomez, the cop from the Big Lebowski who's talking about the leads in the crime lab. Yeah, sure. Because he was a Ferengi in an early TNG episode and I felt like the other three were like, let's throw some like classic Star Trek, that guys, back in the Ferengi loaf. Cause Ethan Phillips had played a Ferengi before as well. I love this idea, especially when the conversation with the Ferengi starts talking about divisions of labor.

Who do you want to talk about working in shifts more than... ...more than that guy? Nobody on planet Earth I want to hear talking about working in shifts more than that guy. Yeah. The guy that's working in shifts. So, as all of this fun stuff is unfolding among the Ferengi, we cut over to the lube room where Tripp is just kind of like lying on

the floor in a, I am idling, waiting for my time in here to be over kind of way. And he's like impatient now, so he's like radioing to like get let out. It's been a long time. It doesn't seem like it's like you've been in a sauna too long. There's no threat of overheating or something. And I kind of wish there was. Get a little well done in here. We're like being overly lubricated.

I love how there's just the briefest moment of this. So so Tripp like Tripp's out a wall panel thing to get the partition to open. And for a moment, his body hits the partition, and it's like flimsy. What's the name of the doors in Japanese homes that are? Oh, like, uh... I don't want to suggest those are flimsy either, but it's like something he could walk through

if he wanted to. Right, it's like a paper divider. It looked too flimsy. Like I feel like they didn't want the set to look like this on camera, but it did. You know the closet in a rental apartment that hangs the doors from the top and they slide? Yeah.

And they can't help but like bang and flop around? It's that kind of thing. You're talking about my house currently? You know those real piece of shit closet doors that is like the first thing you should replace in any home? Now we're replacing the worst part of any home, really the first thing that should be replaced by a new homeowner. Even the dumbest homeowner can replace their own closet doors.

You don't even need to look up a YouTube video online to see how to replace this. It is that easy and inexpensive. It is really a fuck you by landlords that only someone who has really accepted that lot in life as living a shitty existence would keep willingly if they had the choice. We're having our Generation Next intern replace these closet doors. And we haven't taught him anything. He doesn't even know what a hammer is.

Wouldn't it have been fun if the doors had only come apart so much and the only reason he could get through was how heavily lubricated he was. It's amazing it's taken us this long to talk about this aspect to the scene. Even if he were fully lubed and even if the opening to this door were just wide enough, his blue bonge is definitely in profile the widest part of his body. Absolutely. It's sticking out a good five inches from the rest of him. He is a French pole vaulter trying to get out of that room.

How could you expect me to do the pole vaulter with the genitalia that hangs so low? Where am I supposed to put this other pole? I stand over with the other pole and the other competitors start to grab my penis? He's not the pole for them to use! It is like the viral video of the cop giving the guy a pat down and asking what is in his trousers. I had a question that kind of started here, which was if you were basically naked and

you walked out into a hallway at your workplace and found everyone asleep, and your workplace is a place where there are gun lockers all over the place. How long would it take you to be like, my first priority is to arm myself? My first priority would be to arm... Now, you know what? People who know me, who listen to this show, will call bullshit on that. My first priority would be to get more clothes. And then I would get a weapon.

We gotta have webs, he's the key. I'm just too modest. I wouldn't be hanging five inches of soft junk either. Maybe if I were, I'd make guns the priority. I mean I guess you could make the argument the trip is armed no matter where he walks into. Yeah, baby armed. So these thieves now have carts that they're bringing off of their ship and they're leaving their ship unattended which I also was just going crazy thinking about like they're not gonna leave one guy back there

just to like keep an eye on the store while they're. Hey, let's do a quick rewrite of this episode, Ben. What if Trip, instead of getting clothes and instead of getting a gun, just goes right over to the Ferengi ship, undocks it from Enterprise and goes, what are you gonna do now? You don't know how to fly that thing. I don't know how to fly this thing, but I don't need to

These carts Ben these are heist carts. This is the only time you see them in TV or movies These are the things that you wheel into a vault to empty the safe deposit box Contents into like banks and casinos are the only places where these carts are sold. Like you can't buy one on Amazon because it's a purely B2B product. I think these are also sold to high schools and colleges to wheel reel to reel projectors on back in the day. I feel like they're that height.

Sure, well yeah, they're really going to start taking this place apart. They've got heist carts and Santa sacs. That's what they got. So the cart guys go straight to Six Bay, where Tripp, I guess, thought maybe that should be his first stop to see why the... Like, Tripp, the doctor didn't pick up the phone for the same reason that everyone else is asleep. They're all asleep. Tripp's working on something else, which is why he's had semi-soft junk for the past hour and a half, and he's trying to find a drug in there that maybe he can hypospray into

his crank. If it's erect for more than four hours, that's one thing, but if it's like kind of erect for like eight like this, that's one thing, but if it's like kind of erect for like eight like this, that's also a big concern. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I need a little more blood flow to my brain, but I'm not losing it completely.

But like 2% more blood flow to my brain might've given me the idea to get on the communications in the ship and see if anyone is awake or open a gun locker and get a gun or go to my quarters and get a fucking jumpsuit. In the pharmaceutical ad about erectile dysfunction drugs and the warning about blood flow and so forth, I feel like that's like, get rid of the tubs,

get rid of the rose petals in the bed. Like when we're talking about the dangers of these drugs, show me someone like fumbling their way through something simple, like due to blood flow. Like this guy has like the last two squares in a Sudoku. And he cannot figure this out, are you kidding me? And he cannot figure this out, are you kidding me? Yeah, like this is where paper-based old person games really help tell the story visually.

Like someone's working on the crossword in the back of a TV guide and there's a three-letter word left and one letter is missing and it's like dog. Man's best friend. D blank G. And his wife is like, is like polishing a dish at the sink and looks at him with like loving concern, like, aw.

And limps into the living room to help him finish. Susan and Henry seem to be putting the spark back into the living room to help him finish. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Susan and Henry seem to be putting the spark back in their relationship. So, Trip is hid up a ladder and he like watches this thievery going down and I loved him seeing the Ferengis look like fucking idiots and using their idiotic language and just like slamming around in the Sixth Bay and making a fucking mess.

Like it's very violating. I think there is some fun to be had in Connor Trenier's performance too. If we're seeing the clownishness happen in Six Bay and we see Trip Tucker going down the ladder upside down in order to peep them, that's fun too. Everyone's having fun. Everyone's having fun. Some of these Ferengis are stealing the completely useless missiles that the ship carries aboard, which will not fetch a pretty penny on the secondary market. I love the idea that they're wasting their time with this.

This is like supermarket sweep where the most valuable, the most high dollar items are like the brisket or like the turkeys. Like you feel your shopping cart with like 12 turkeys. I feel like this is the turkey of enterprise except it has no value. This is terrible. This is the inflatable thing, like the bonus prize at supermarket sweep, but then they pull off the tag to show the value

and it's zero. And it's so fucking bulky. It's taking up tons of room in your cart. Yeah. But yeah, it's a canard. I mean, like they go through the mess hall, they're stealing food, but not cheese. Yeah. I thought they would like cheese.

Cheese is funky. It is. We get a lot of scenes of what they're stealing out of and off of the ship. The food scene is fun because you get to see some close-up shots of Pi. That's great. You get to see some boots being taken out of a locker and Ferengi socks, I believe, for the first time. Yeah, I loved seeing the socks.

I love the bit of these shoes are gonna be way too big for you no matter whose they are. Yeah, yeah. But this goes ugly at this point because it becomes clear that they are dragging all of these sleeping women into the cargo bay to be staged for being loaded onto their ship. And that's no fun. It really isn't. It's maybe the only part of the episode that feels just a little bit dark. Whenever you see a pile of women. Right.

Stacked like cordwood. Those women should be in a binder where they belong. Yeah, exactly, organized. This is a very disorganized pile of women, Ben. Yeah, speaking of disorganized, Trip is still unarmed and undressed, sneaking around the ship, and he goes to engineering and watches for kind of a long time

on surveillance video, the Ferengi's, like, discussing what to do in a language that he doesn't speak. He's like, Tripp, they are all there. Like, you know where they are now. Like, you can run and get a gun. Yeah. Get a gun! Do anything, besides what you're doing. But no, he does not.

And the Ferengi go get Captain Archer and wake him up with a hypo spray. Who are you? Ingala Dukabi? I don't understand. Dukabi Nakushtra? As you said, they observe universal translator orthodoxy on this show, and it takes kind of a while to kick in, but Ulysses is the guy in command, the Ethan Phillips frangie, and he wants to know if Archer is his counterpart from the entrepreneur, specifically because

he thinks that Archer is likely to know the location of their vault. No one believes Archer in this scene. And for not believing him, they deliver a beating. Yeah. Archer soon bleeding out of his mouth and lips. When he's like, we've walked away from capitalism as a thing, you know, like, when he starts talking about commerce as being kind of a quaint idea from his perspective,

yeah, that gets him some rifle butt right there. Yeah, I mean, this is slandering their way of life. He keeps it cool when Tripp makes eye contact with him from across the room. Like, Tripp is like, I think, up on a second level looking through some girders at Archer. So he changes tax. He turns this from a, we don't have a vault, I'm telling you the truth, to a, okay, we do have a vault and I'll split it with you. You can take whatever you want, but I want some percentage of what you find in the vault. He didn't count on sex slavery when he said, take what you want.

Like, he didn't realize that that was an option on the table for these guys. No, not at all. I thought Archer did a great job of catching on to the vibes of the Ferengi though. Like... Really good. I feel like he is quicker than most Starfleet captains would be in a first contact with

the Ferengi environment of like getting to the negotiating table, like having like hard limits being like, okay, no deal when he doesn't like the terms that they start setting out. Not accepting the deal really surprised me. I was like, what is the plan now, Archer? I thought, because it seems as though the presentation of this would mean that his angle was ultimately to get himself free to work with them on the thing and then get the jump. But absent the ability to get the jump, to remain chained to a grab handle or whatever, you have no options. They leave you have no options.

They leave him with no options initially and they're like, fuck you, we're gonna go find the vault ourselves. And they like make Krem, the Jeffrey Combs character, stay behind and schlep stuff on board their ship. And so Krem is like, fuck that, I'm gonna make Archer do all this schlepping. They start moving stuff aboard the ship

and this is where Archer and Krem start to talk to each other and Archer starts to develop a sense of what is going on here. Yeah. I thought a lot about that pristine TSA tub you talked about using one time at the Delta One entrance when he carried that load of fruit aboard the ship. Can you imagine using a TSA tub and not feeling like you need to use a shower afterwards? Yeah. I never did the thing where you bleach your groceries when you get home with them during the beginning of the COVID thing, but I probably would if they had been

in a TSA tub. Yeah. No kidding. This ends up being the demonstration of the play the Captain Archer is actually making. This wedge he's trying to drive between Cram and the demonstration of the play the Captain Archer is actually making. This wedge he's trying to drive between Cram and the rest of his Ferengi crew. I've seen the way the others treat you. This is the real op that he's on. Yeah. I mean, the premise undergirding it

is like labor is entitled to everything it creates. Like, you're doing all the, like, hard work here, and you're getting less money than those guys? What the fuck? Also, can I have a sandwich and some water because you're sort of working me hard here. So this gets Krem to fuck off for a while. And that allows him to have a secret conversation

with Tripp who has been hiding around a corner. I love that Tripp could not get the shackles off. Me too. Like the Ferengi had like thought of potential like non-sophisticated attacks on these shackles and hardened them to those. I like how it's not so easy to get one over on the Ferengi here.

Yeah, and like, again, unarmed Trip. And at this point, the Ferengi have hit all the weapons lockers, I think, and cleared them all out. So there's not much he can do about the fact that he's unarmed. But Archer tells him about this hypo spray that they used to revive Archer. So Trip is gonna head down there

and starts to wake other people up. And he scurries away when Krem comes back with the water. It is high comedy that Krem has returned with a sandwich he's already eaten a bite out of. As if he's forgotten the reason for getting the water and the sandwich, he's acting as though those things were for him. Yeah. It's great. It's good stuff.

Faith of the fart. One thing we all have in common, we all have a mind. It makes me so scared because I'm like, when is the bad thing gonna happen? And minds can be kind of unpredictable and eccentric. Everybody wants to hear that they're not alone. Everybody wants to hear that someone else has those same thoughts. Depression Mode with John Moe is about how interesting minds intersect with the lives and work of the people who have them. Comedians, authors, experts, all sorts of folks trying to make sense of their world. It's not admitting something bad if you say this is scary. Depression Mode with John Moe, every Monday at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts.

Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts is a real podcast made up of fake podcasts. Like if you had a cupboard in your lower back, what would you keep in it? So I'm going to say mugs. A little yogurt and a spoon. A small handkerchief that was given to me by my grandmother on her deathbed. Maybe some spare honey. I'd keep batteries in it. I'd pretend to be a toy. If I had a cupboard in my lower back, I'd probably fill it with spines. If you had a cupboard in your lower back, what would you keep in it? Doesn't exist. We made it up for Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts, an award-winning

comedy podcast from Maximum Fun, made up of hundreds of stupid podcasts. Listen and subscribe to Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts now. And you will never take the greatest chill alive. Ben would rather die. Rather die. Trip finds the hypo spray and wakes up tool first and then Hoshi, it seems like, is going to get the next one.

And Tripp explains to T'Pol that he was in the decontamination chamber when the alien takeover happened. And T'Pol suspects the canister that Tripp brought back from his mission as being the reason that everyone got knocked out. And they're interrupted in this conversation when Archer is marched in by Krem. And T'Pol, like, kind of pretends to be asleep again at this point.

I was surprised to learn that this era of Ferengi and this era of Vulcan are not aware of each other. Yeah. But they're not. Krem is very taken with T'Pol and talks a lot about her in this episode. And I started wondering at this moment, and I was surprised that this is the first time it occurred to me, but if T'Pol didn't know about mind melds, did she also not know about nerve pinches was like a thought in my head for a lot of this episode same

Yeah, I mean what good is a Vulcan if if they don't have either of those available to them, I don't know The back of their head seemed pretty great I mean a bad sense of humor and a few other things according to Archer like Archer really Talk some shit about to Paul in a way that read to me as trying to make her seem not as valuable as they think she is. Right, like the sex slavery will be too much

of a pain in the ass to be worth it. No one wants a nagging sex slave. And the food she cooks. Yuck! We've managed to take the most misogynistic, conceivable industry and make it a little bit more misogynistic. Hope you don't wander to drive you anywhere. Geez!

It's a wonder they can even get insurance! Yeah, Archer really goes hard at the borscht belt comedy at T'Pol's expense. It's really ugly and humiliating for her. Take my first officer, please. So Archer and Krim leave and T'Pol wakes back up in quotes and she and Tripp continue to discuss the plan ahead. They can't wake anyone else up though because that hypo spray is empty.

I love these little moments in the episode where like you think something's gonna be easy and go in a straight line, like we're gonna do this and this and this and this. The straight line is immediately cut off almost at every turn. There's also just so much tension in the scene cause you're like, fuck, Hoshi is going to wake up

in the middle of this and it's going to be a huge problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never does. So Tripp finally puts something on, covers up that bulge. What a both relief to me and a disappointment to you. Ha ha ha ha. This moment. Did you think that was his uniform?

Did he sneak back into his quarters? No, because it's got the blue accents on the shoulders. So it's rifled from someone else. 19 episodes in to Star Trek Enterprise, and I don't think it makes me a bad fan to say, I don't know what color the stripe is on Tripp Tucker's uniform. Muck, Ullis and Grish are in Six Bay and they think maybe they've found the vault in the MRI machine that we've seen used a couple of times there. And Muck is pretty annoyed with how this heist is going because if they don't find the vault, it's basically like a loss for them. Like the cost of doing this robbery is higher than the value of the crap that they're finding. And he's starting to worry that what Archer was telling them initially, that commerce

is not something that humans are interested in, might in fact be true. You know how when you're boiling something starchy, there's like a line you're writing between the full boil over of the foam and the temperature you need to cook the food. And the boil over of something starchy sucks because that's like the messiest form of stove mess you can get. It's the worst. It's the worst. It's one of the reasons I really wanted

induction cooktop that's just like one sheet of glass. That you can clean with a razor blade, yeah. Yeah. This fight and so many other fights among the Ferengi are like that starchy boil over. The foam gets really close to the rim and then, oh, we're turning down the temperature.

Down goes the foam. Before it goes over the top. So, Trip is now in some Jefferies tube, and he clamps this big, crazy device on a wall. It is a wordless scene that is unexplained, but is setting something up for later. But you recognize this lock, right? Do I?

Isn't this the same sort of lock that was put on Agent Daniel's door? Oh, shoot. It seemed familiar to me that way. Yeah, good call. I didn't even think of that, but of course. Yeah. Is it the one from Agent Daniel's door?

Did the Ferengis potentially steal a bunch of 29th century technology on this run? Boy, what a scene that would have been if the attempt was made. Because you know, if they saw a lock like this on a door like that, they'd never leave that thing alone. They'd be pounding away at it. How did they miss that? I don't know. I don't know. So, T'Pol is like kind of spying on the Ferengi as they have a little McLaughlin group. Issue one. In the place where you would do that on Enterprise and they come up with the idea of

searching the captain's quarters because that's where the vault is kept on a Ferengi ship. And T'Pol uses this as an opportunity to trigger some horrible noise that is really bothering the Ferengi's ears. Their natural enemy is unpleasant sound. I love that they just start shooting at stations that they don't know what they do.

Like, these things could handle life support or weapons or whatever. Somehow that works. Yeah. Yeah, that does it. That is successful. When they come back, they find, like, Tobal is, like, snuck out and, like, fucked with some of their stuff is successful. When they come back, they find like, Tabala's like snuck out and like fucked with some of their stuff. And so when they come back, the Clint Howard character is like very angry to

discover that some of the things he's stealing are no longer where he set them down on the computer console. And this starts a big argument between him and Ulless, the Ethan Phillips character. Are you calling me a thief? Everybody knows you'd steal the wax out of your own mother's ears. Please, gentlemen, we're partners. I must all rob from each other.

T'Pol put some of these things in Ethan Phillips' bag. It's like a fucking great Psy-op. Like now these guys are gonna be looking over their shoulders. It's a, you know, no honor among thieves vibe from here on out. It really feels like they won't have to defeat the Ferengi. The Ferengi will defeat themselves. Totally. So meanwhile, Archer is down in engineering and he's helping cram the Jeffrey Combs character, steal an anti-matter injector,

which we saw somebody get shocked by earlier. Yeah. I guess even Mark I warp engine parts from unknown species are valuable on the black market. So they're working on stealing this, and Archer is trying to get under comb skin. He's like, hey, I made a 65-35 deal with your captain that he didn't take, but I'll split it with you 50-50 if you kick the ass of the other three Ferengi and take the gold yourself. 05.00 It seems like a pretty tantalizing offer. And it really feels like he's going to say yes

to it. I was surprised that he said no. He turns down the deal and Archer's gotta get back to work. I feel like if he had been in the scene where they started all like discovering stolen stuff in each other's bags, he might have, but. Yeah, good call, yeah. He's separated from the others who have now found Porthos the dog and can't figure out why Porthos

doesn't just tell them where the dog is. Clearly he's got the lopes for commerce. Where does Porthos shit is a thought I had in this scene because I mean it's been hours that everyone's been knocked out right? How often does a beagle need to go outside or whatever? Does he use a box? Do you think it's like an airport where there's a weird room, where there's some AstroTurf in the corner? They need to answer this question. This is one of the great unanswered questions of Enterprise so far, and it's starting to

really drive me crazy. Portos isn't talking. Do you understand me? He is holding up under interrogation, and the Clint Howard Ferengi goes so far as to pick him up and in the cargo bay we see where he is put into a cargo container that does not appear to have breathing holes in it. Yeah it would have been fun if he'd like used his phaser to like punch some holes in the in the lid of this thing before closing it. Maybe nervous. Yeah. So yeah, he closes Porthos into a Pelican case and then he sees Tripp moving around on the other end of the cargo bay and licks some very inaccurate shots at Tripp and Tripp

runs out into the mess hall, pretends to be sleeping, and then, uh, does, like, a sneak ear bite attack on, on, which is like, extremely strong tactic against Ferengi and Evander Holyfield. Pretty great. I don't think Trip knew that the ears would be the most sensitive part. I think it's just the part that was closest to his teeth. Yeah. So that works, but then, uh, Ulyssss, the captain, uses his Ferengi whip and gets trip. So great.

RSVP trip. Yeah. Yeah. Whip to death. Really nice to see the whip again. So fun. And like, there is no whip up over the head and crack. There's just no room for that in a corridor, but there is a fair amount of whippiness to this whip. It looks really good. I love that it's like super accurate too, the way he wields it. Like he shoots the gun out of Tripp's hand.

It should have cut his hand clean off like that Jack Black scene in the Jackal when Bruce Willis shoots his hand off? Remember that? Yeah. Hold out that pack of cigarettes. So in the launch bay, Krem and Archer are met by Tripp being led in by the rest of the Ferengi boarding party and the group is starting to strain over the pressure of the humans waking up, then the chances of that,

the potential of this actually strikes the first bit of fear in this group. The idea of them waking up earlier than they thought kind of means that why don't they just leave early? Take the women and what they got, like they already got a pretty good haul, right? Why not not risk that? They're really starting to lose their mud.

So they wake up Tripp and he claims he's gonna show them the vault. The vibes between Tripp and Archer are very fun throughout the rest of this episode whenever they're doing something for the Ferengi's benefit conversationally. You don't give a damn about this crew. All you care about is your precious gold. I'm warning you, Trip. You're a greedy son of a bitch. They must have taken the same improv class

at the academy or something, you know? They're really on the same level. Yeah. It sure feels like the fight that Archer and Trip get into in this scene is going to be the diversion necessary to physically overpower the Ferengi, which again is four to two in this scene. Like, yeah, the Ferengi are armed,

but I kind of feel like... But they seem feeble, you know? If the jump is gotten on them, I think that's more of an even fight than they're thinking. Yeah. I was always expecting that, and it never happened. Just like all of the scenes when Krem has Archer unmanacled, I was like, Archer, you can fucking get this guy.

Like, he's standing super close for you, just grab his rifle and beat him to death with it, you know? That was the tension in every scene between Krem and Archer to me. It was like, when is that moment gonna happen? ["Legally It's Just A Virgil"] Tripp gets a deal. He's gonna show them the location of the vault, but they agree to take none of the women off

the ship because he's claimed that Hoshi is his wife. He's like, all right, I'll take you to the vault and all of the Ferengi want to go, because now none of them trust that the amount of gold discovered in the vault will be distributed fairly among the crew. And again, Krem kind of gets shit on and left behind with Archer to hump more gear into their ship. But now Archer claims a water polo injury

that affects his back from time to time is acting up and he can't schlep gear anymore. What kind of injury was that, Ben? I believe that was a water polo injury, Adam. And one last time just to make sure that I heard you correctly? Not sure if I'm pronouncing this correctly. I'm just reading it in my notes. Was it a water Pollo injury? Oh you

know what time it is Ben! You know anytime we encounter a reference to Polo we got to do one thing. Stop the show and play the hit trivia game Polo, Polo, or Boyo? Come on, come on, yes! I told you, best sport in the world. One part basketball, one part swimming, one part wrestling. I didn't know it was such a rough game. It's a game where I, Adam Pranica, ask Benjamin R. Harrison, which of these three things is

water polo, horse polo, or a chicken recipe? Water polo, I think, has a fair amount of recency knowledge. If you watched any of it during the Olympics like I did, I learned quite a bit. I really got very little Olympics viewing in this year And I'm kind of bummed about it what I have here to help me create this game is the glossary of terms For water polo the glossary of terms for horse polo, okay, and the America's test kitchen website Which is test kitchen website, which is constantly asking me to upgrade my membership. Yeah.

The thirstiest website there is, is the America's Test Kitchen family of websites. We should honestly get MaxFun to see if they can white label the America's Test Kitchen website software from those people and I know. And reboot MaximumFun.org, because I bet subscriptions would go up by dozens if we had a website this thirsty. Ben, once again, you must decide which of these three are water polo, horse polo, or a chicken recipe.

Here's the first question. Okay. Tail shot. Dead time fowl. Chicken recipe here's the first question okay tail shot Mm-hmm dead time foul Okay for Murgh McConnie God Murgh McConnie has got to be horse polo Okay, what was the one about tail end tail shot tail's gotta be in water polo when you hit someone in the butt. Okay.

And dead time foul going, you know, like F-O-W-L. See this was, this is what I tried to do with some of these terms is like make them confusing. Like foul, like you say, sounds like it would be chicken no dead time foul a water polo term means simultaneous fouls that occur by offensive and defensive players during dead time obviously yeah then we got the tail shot Ben this is when the ball is hit right behind a polo pony oh! I had the right like angle just the wrong species. And then I'm surprised you didn't get this one. Murgh Makhani, Indian butter chicken. I love Indian butter chicken. I uh, I ate it in India. It was delightful. Double hole, gag bit, San Bay G.

Okay, double hole, I'm gonna say a water polo term. I don't know if there's ever two balls in play, but maybe if they both go in the net at the same time. Mmm. Gag bit is like when you are having like off the bone chicken and you get a little piece of like cartilage or something That little dangler from a chicken leg. That's the gag bit for sure. Just revolting. Yeah I ate some bad chicken last night. I don't like thinking about it. Oh, no San Bay G

I'm just getting like horse polo seems exotic to me and that sounds like it's not the English language. So I'm gonna guess it's something horse polo related. Couple of misses here too, Ben. Damn it! Sand Bay G is three cup chicken. Oh! You know three cup chicken, right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Gag bit is from horse polo. The gag bit means the cheek piece and reins are attached to different rings on the bit, which means that when used correctly by polo players, it creates more leverage and control for the rider. Seems cruel. And then double hole is remaining. That's a water polo term.

Hey, I got that right. An offense using two hole sets, one in front of each post is the goal. This is also known is the double post. Okay. Ben, final question here. You really need to sweep. Okay. For your score.

Cow man guy. Okay. Neck swing. Ordinary fowl. See what I did there? I think that a chicken is anything but an ordinary fowl. I think they're extraordinary creatures that really taste delicious most of the time. So neck swing is obviously the Pollo preparation.

That's where you get the whole bird and it's got like the parts inside. One of those parts is some spine and some neck. And you just like get that whip in the air so fast that the friction of the air cooks the meat. And you can kind of eat it like an ear of corn. Sometimes, you know, in the section of grill utensils, you'll see like, I don't know why they sell this but like a beer can chicken setup that's not a beer can it's like an upside down hat or like a cylinder of cement or something the next swings are sold right next to it

that's like the chain you hang on the lid of your barbecue and you just you can just kind of swing the chicken in the barbeque yeah what were my other two options yeah ordinary foul and Kalmungai. Okay, I'm gonna say ordinary foul is It's gotta be a horse polo term and Kalmungai has got to be a water polo term Ben, I don't know how you keep missing like this Kalmungai is Thai style chicken and rice. Oh Kalmungai is Thai style chicken and rice. Oh, geez.

Neck swing and ordinary foul. See, that was tricky. That's tricky from your host. Ordinary foul water polo. It encompasses just a variety of offenses that we don't have time to get into here. Neck swing from horse polo. A neck swing is a ball that is hit right under the neck of a polo horse

Okay, wow Huh, so not a successful game of polo polo or porio This time around Ben. Yeah, many would wonder if if I will ever truly succeed at this game I didn't know it was such a rough game. Look, I think the subject is going to return to Star Trek Enterprise, so maybe study up. I need to do a little cross-training for this. I just watched Star Trek and I know very little about the rest of the world. So anyways, uh, Krem ties Archer back up and gets to moving

equipment around to Paul appears to him and really put some sexy moves on him. Like she really gets seductive with it. And this is all in service of getting close enough to neck pinch him. The dialogue flourishes here so fun. The way she explains how her bardi is different from the others. Yeah. God, she begs to be taken with him.

These humans fucking suck. They're terrible. And you've heard the way they talk about her. Yeah. But neck pinch confirmed, that was really nice. Yeah. I like that this episode silently asked and answered the question.

In a way, like a Ferengi is the worst person nice. I like that this episode silently asked and answered the question. In a way, a Ferengi is the worst person to have an interaction with a Vulcan because of their desire to have their ears touched and the proximity to the neck that that presents. Right. I did like that she went for a couple of runs at the Umacs before knocking him out. Yeah, she didn't have to do that, right? That was fun for her it seemed like. Yeah. Ta-Paul, what the fuck are you doing getting one phaser?

Such a chaos choice. You got the second hand. Do we not want to think of every great moment in a John Woo film? Get the second phaser. Go dual wielding phasers. Put one in your cleavage and give that one to Archer after you spring him from being shackled to an accessibility handle.

So disappointed into Paul here, for sure. Also disappointed is this group of Ferengi who were being led around the ship on this wild goose chase through the tunnels and through the access tunnels and through the Even smaller tunnels and the corridors and around and around and around. It's great. We're going in circles this way Just every corridor set that they had got thrown into this sequence in such a fun way

It's a fun comment on the state of the set for Star Trek Enterprise. Absolutely. He leads them to where he put that magnetic vault lock looking thing earlier, and they are all so hyper Ferengi eager to go into the vault and see all of the vast riches that they will be taking custody of that they all run into the room and that gives to Paul an opportunity to jump out and start tagging them with the phaser RSVP the Ferengi. Don't you wish the whip was taken and used on them? I wanted to see a human try to use the whip and... And blow it.

Yeah. Blow it real good. Ow, I got my foot! And then they're limping because their foot is asleep for the rest of the episode. I would've loved that. Just no time. This is the kind of episode that that type of bit

would work on. Absolutely. She busts Archer's that that type of bit would work on. Absolutely. You know? Yeah. She kind of busts Archer's chops when she goes and frees him for all of the shit he talked about her, much like some of the discussion of we're going to take all of the repairs back from ships that Enterprise has helped out. We get a little sequence of the Ferengi putting all of the things they stole back in their places. And Krem, the Jeffrey Combs Ferengi, gets left in charge of his ship when the Ferengi scram. He's not going to be the shit on nephew anymore. Look at him. He is the captain now. They're making him all kinds of offers to get out of their shackles now. He's not trying

to hear that at all. Pretty great, he's loving it. I mean, yeah, like you'd think that a guy who gets shit on by everyone else for not having the lobes for business would entertain some of these offers. Like they're talking about a pretty lucrative deal here, getting paid out for just turning a key in a lock, you know? No.

But no, he doesn't. He accepts no offer and off he flies. And that's the episode, Adam. Did you like this episode of Star Trek Enterprise? ["SHADOWSKILLS"] I loved it. I had such a great time with it. I think it would be so easy to

Like do a rascals with this Like the thing about the rascals Episode was that you had a very advanced crew of Starfleet officers Handicapped by their transformation into children in order to take their ship back This crew is handicapped by their lack of intelligence about Ferengi. Right. And they get on their level pretty fast, don't they? Like, especially Archer.

I love how he figures them out in just a couple minutes. He gets it. He understands how to deal with them. And it made me want more Ferengi episodes on Enterprise. I have really missed them and I wonder if it's just a quality of like, I miss future based Star Trek references. Like I don't want to be stuck in the past doing all the past shit. Like it may be fan service or whatever to give me that, but I kind of like once a season I want to be served. Yeah I was wondering about it because the Ferengi

were such a mysterious force in the galaxy at the beginning of TNG they're like we've heard rumors. Remember when they had to turn their ship around? Yeah. That was the big reveal. Yeah and they they were like, they're like Yankee Clippers captains or whatever. They're definitely not a horrific anti-Semitic stereotype, specifically. Right. But I kind of hope that Enterprise is not

that precious about canon in that way, because I did feel like this was just a hoot, and if they could ring this bell once a season, I'd be here for it in the biggest way. Yeah, pretty fun. Really fun episode. Dumb, but fun. So, that's how I feel about that. You know what I also have really positive feelings about, Adam, is the Priority One

inbox. It's always a ton of fun to go check what's in there. Oh yeah, nothing dome in there. Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel. We need a supplemental income. Supplemental income? Supplemental. Supplemental. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship. Ben, we got a promotional priority one message up top. Here's how that goes. Unlike Lieutenant Reed, I'll tell you exactly what my favorite treat is. Dorinda's Chocolates. This family owned small business was founded in 2009 and makes

chocolate confections so delicious they would make Troy cry. Located in Reno, Nevada. Below are two $100 gift certificate codes for BNA redeemable on the Dorinda's website. Whoa! I hope to hear if you think they are gah or batah. I recommend a 12-piece box. Enjoy. How about that? Dorindaschocolates.com is where we're directed to go. And here, as Reed has said, a couple of codes to cash in there, Ben. How about that hit segment?

Taking off. Dude, I'm psyched. Where we're tasting some food. I can't wait. This is a very generous gift certificate also. That's a kingly sum of chocolate. Yeah, wow. I don't know about you,

I'm still working through the ice cream from graders in my household. I just finished one of the six pints. Oh, you only got six. I got 12 pints, my friend. Oh my God. That's how got 12 pints my friend. Oh my god That's how much the gift certificate was for you gotta get six more pints, dude I guess so Wow you got overhead. I'm glad I didn't get all 12. That is I don't have the freezer space for that

Yeah, it was it was a controversial choice. Guess what flavor was the first to be finished in my house Mmm. Was it the was it the black raspberry birthday cake yeah that birthday cake was a was a banger yeah I'm looking at the Dorinda's chocolates site I see chocolate dip mango that looks amazing chocolate dip pretzels. Oh, I love chocolate dip pretzels caramel macadamia nut chocolates. Oh Almond butter toffee mama pajama Cannot wait. Hey, thanks a ton read and thanks for doing a commercial priority one message I love it great gift if you have a friend of de Soto that loves chocolate I have another p1 here of a personal nature.

It's from Trekstar84. Yes, that was my AOL instant messenger name from childhood. I was not cool. And it's to Ben and Adam. And it goes like this. Hey, Ben and Adam. I've been a longtime listener since like 2018 or something. I had to make sure I got in a P1 before you finished

all the treks. Been a fan of treks since I was a kid and had few friends, probably related. I'm so glad you guys exist to do this awesome pod, thanks. Also, Chris Brenner drop, Road drop, Harry drop, Run Canada drop! Four drops here. I think we gotta cap the drops in the P1 span. Whoa! We're instituting rules about the drops of the P1s now? How about no? Where does it end? I don't know. I'd say let them go sick.

Alright, yeah. Yeah, as many as you want. I like that people get P1s. Maybe on a commercial P1 you can get as many as you want. I like the people get P1s Maybe on a commercial P1 you can get as many as you want on a Personal one cap it at four. I like that deal. All right. Let's see how that plays Ben our final priority win messages from Colton Bingham and it is to Colton and Darcy Bingham Wow, their message goes like this, I'm giving myself a treat for getting my wife into Star Trek. Wow.

I love that you are now on Enterprise. We are in DS9 and listen to the pod every night. Adam, we need a longer Jim Jaw song. Please. Since I have some extra characters, Ben, as Kevin, could you tell her how much I love her? Her name is Darcy, by the way.

And her name and the music will scare her back awake. Hilarious. Darcy, wake up. Colton has something important to say. By me, Kevin Uxbridge. Darcy, you're not waking up, so I'm going to turn up the volume and the music. No, I didn't just turn it up to three or four. I turned it all the way up to 10. Wow. Well, thank you, Colton, and thank you, Darcy, for becoming a new track person and a new friend

of DeSoto. Thanks to everyone who got a P1 today. We really appreciate it. If you'd like one, go to maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron and book yours today. Hey, Ben. What's that, Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda this episode? Incredible.

Drunk Shimoda. I don't see a way I can talk myself into giving it to anyone but Tripp for the just complete lackadaisical energy he brought to finding all of his shipmates knocked out. And the choices he made early on just seemed insane to me. So I'm going to give it to him. We salute a well-hung king. Do you think all of his weird choices are a reaction to not wanting to John McClane him? Because he is anti-John McClane at every moment in this episode.

Yeah. I mean... But why not John McClane him? Like, Star Trek is a place. Just make this... He's John McClane with an enormous bulge. Make this Die Hard on a Starship. Like, we liked that episode of TNG. There's no reason you can't do that here. I feel the same way, yeah.

It's enough to make me want to make fists with my toes and shake those fists at the television screen. Yeah, better than a cold shower and a cup of coffee. Ben, maybe you can tell me who this was, but like there's so much clownish behavior by the Ferengi on the ship when it comes to figuring out what things are, what the foods are, how they might taste, what these things that they're stealing might even do.

I love that they're stealing things. They don't even know what these things do. They're just taking a- Taking a chair from the bridge. There's one moment on Six Bay that Tripp witnesses, and the angle is such that I can't really tell which Ferengi is doing it, but he's stepping on a step garbage can.

Yeah. He's like, whoa, the lid of this opens. I remember the first time I encountered a step garbage can, and I felt the way that Ferengi did. Amazing. We have one of those in my kitchen, I remember the first time I encountered a step garbage can, and I felt the way that Ferengi did. Amazing. We have one of those in my kitchen, and my two-year-old kind of lives and dies

by the existence of that thing. Step garbage can Ferengi is my drunk Shimoda this episode. Ha ha ha. A really solid pick, Adam. I noticed that moment, and it was really great. Faith of the Fart. Why don't you head to gach.biz slash game and fire up the game of buttholes.

The Will of the Riker quantum leap while I tell you about the next episode of Star Trek Enterprise. It's season one, episode 20, Oasis. The crew is directed to a barren planet episode of Star Trek Enterprise. It's season one, episode 20, Oasis. The crew is directed to a barren planet where a derelict ship may be salvageable for supplies, but the crew quickly learns that rumors about the shipwreck being haunted may be true.

Okay. Couple of exciting guest stars on this upcoming episode, Adam. Annie Wershing. Oh wow, the late Annie Wershing. Oh, wow. The late Annie Wershing. Yeah, sadly passed away recently. Also, René Aubergiennois and Tom Bergeron.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. What a guest star. Just an amazing list of people in this episode. Wow! What a guest star! Just an amazing list of people in this episode. Looking forward to it. And I'm also looking forward to finding out how we will be watching this one, Adam. Ben, our runabout is on Square 38. That's a regular old episode, even though this one felt pretty special

for our hit segment, Polo. That's it. Polo, or Pollo. I'm gonna roll a die and see if we land on something special-er. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. Okay. Oh! Just missed a temporal Cold War episode. Fuck. God damn. Chula! Did I win?

We're on square 89, a square I believe we've been on before, right next to that square. It's a regular old episode. I kid you not, it caught my breath to hear you say that. I have like goose bumps right now. Yeah, temporal Cold War dodged. Once again. Regular episode on deck for next time. The Tom Bergeron square has been hit.

There is no Tom Bergeron square, but that's what the next episode's got. Amazing. Well, I'm so excited for the next episode. Hey, if you feel like this wasn't enough Star Trek crap for your week, how about listen to Grey's Trek, our other smash hit Star Trek podcast, right here on the Maximum Fun Network. I don't know when this episode's coming out, but we have been doing a little film festival over there, watching some of our favorite sci-fi and sci-fi adjacent movies, and movies that aren't really sci-fi, but have some fun Star Trek people involved in them. and I can't recommend the Grey's Trek Film Festival highly enough and we'll be getting into

lower decks right after that so get on board. Yeah it's real fun. If you've missed me and been talking about movies we're back. We're back in a film festival and it's big fun. Check it out. Gotta thank Windy Pretty our intrepid producer and editor who keeps the plates spinning around here. Gotta thank Adam Ragusea for our parody theme music based on Diane Warren's original composition and Dark Materia who made the Picard song that you hear under our voices right now. We gotta thank Rob Adler and Bill Tilly for running the social media at Greatest Trek all over the place. Slide into those DMs if you want to send

something in for a code 47 and you will get the wonderful Bill Tilly who's back in the trading card business. And head to gush.biz slash mail to sign up for our mailing list and you'll get a monthly newsletter that Rob Adler has been putting together and doing a great job. I've been watching the subscriber numbers on our mailing list creep up in a noticeable way. I think people are really liking this mailing list. How about that? So it's not just about the offer code to Podshop.biz. People are liking the content that we're putting in there. I think it's probably a little bit of column A,

a little bit of column B. That's great. I'm glad people are liking it. We really care about making it good. Yeah, we sure do. Go check that out. Thanks to all of the supporters who go to maximumfund.org slash join and become sustaining monthly members

of this program. Really couldn't exist without you. And if you really like this show, if you've been listening since way back in the day and want to see it go on take some responsibility become one of the people that ensures that this thing has a future thanksmoonfun.org join thank you very much with that we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise that is like, I guess, I don't know, narrating

some videos of like dads getting hit in the balls at Little League games and falling face first into birthday cakes and shit. God, I can't wait. Bergeron was a host of AFV, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Great reference. Make it so, make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so.

Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so.

Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so.

Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so.