The Greatest Generation - Butt Micro Pony (ENT S3E14)

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

When the Entrepreneur captures Degra and sets up an elaborate ruse, Captain Archer starts to gain his trust to extract more information about the weapon’s construction. But after getting wise to his circumstances and losing in close combat to Archer, Degra’s memory is wiped again after a risky double Barashing. What’s the only thing that foretells a ninja hippy? Where is it ok to have nine girlfriends? Which alien ship comes with a treasure chest? It’s the episode with a couple of regerttable tattoos.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

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This is a parody. Paramount owns the song. Welcome to the Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed about it. Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranika. This time I'm the one ready for decontamination.

Yeah, so we, this is our second time rolling this new square, the decon chamber square, where we have to record in our undies, as is done in the decon chamber. And I showed up shirtless to the record last time. And then you got the big reveal moment. And I was like, oh, that was fun. Adam took a shirt off. We should save that moment. And next time we do that, we should do that moment.

Yeah, no, no. This time I focused on the gel itself, Ben. Oh. The last time we did this, I was just in my underwear. Right. I didn't have the gel. But I found, in between last episode and this one, a bunch of aloe vera gel. Wow.

And I was like, what better gel could there be in a household for this purpose? So I slathered myself in aloe vera. More aloe vera gel than I've ever put on my barty in my entire life. I don't know what this dose could do to me. But it is a weird sensation. Like, it feels, it's cooling, right? Can you see it? Does it look glossy?

Yeah, you're glistening a little bit. I think the glosses kind of went away. I think the thing with Alivares that it like gets in there. It soaks right in, yeah. So I don't know how long this is going to last, but this is what I came to the show with. I love it. I mean, I think that today, more than any day in the history of the show, I'm glad that, generally speaking, we record the podcast in two different places.

because I don't want to rub aloe vera all over your body, which would be... I would refuse the offer, Ben. Well, I'm just going by the show. It seems like you have to get your buddy when you're in the decon chamber. Yeah. That's why it's so lonely when you're in there by yourself. Like, you don't have anybody to rub the lotion on its skin. Have we seen a solo operator in there doing the rubbing?

Or does that... Does that, for some reason, look like a ridiculous depiction of the decontamination chamber? Everything else, just fine. We can't show someone by themselves in there, lubing up. Flax's like, you'll need to rub this on yourself 40 to 50 times in the next few weeks. Do you think Dr. Flax, and this might be reasoncy biased, do you think he might be the best doctor to have in real life if he were a real life doctor? Dr. Beverly, almost unimpeachable as far as, like, top of the list. But if you had to knock her off, Pulaski's going to, like, razz you the whole time,

but she's going to fucking get shit done. I'd like Pulaski. I like an older doctor. I like a sassy doctor, for sure. But I think just, like, pound for pound competence. I wouldn't like the worm play of Dr. Flax, though. I think that's too far for me. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe if there's, like, nitrous on offer. at Dr. Flox's office, like, just to, like, take the edge off of some of the stuff he's going to do to you, you know? He's got it with the bedside manner. I can't get with the menagerie of roaches and leeches and stuff. Yeah, yeah. All right.

Well, I'm going to get into the spirit of the thing. Oh, yeah. Do that. Disrobe for the show. I'm sorry I didn't get the memo before. Just for the folks who aren't watching the live stream. Ben has disrobed. He didn't go up over the top. He did a sensible unbuttoning. No snap buttons on that shirt. I don't have any cowboy shirts these days. I used to have a lot of them in my, in my wardrobe,

and they just all wore out, and I didn't replace them. You tore open the buttons one too many times. Ben, well, we've got across Ben's chest, his upper chest are the word star and Turk. a tattoo of some permanency it looks like yeah I had the I had the Deep Space 9 com badge lasered off and I went like this guy the artist that I went to was supposed to be good but he just didn't get the letters

yeah like they're the right letters in the right order but they're just not they're like there's some scale and alignment issues and some kerning issues let's just say I think maybe the folks in school who weren't the best scholastically were often drawn to the arts and that's no surprise to a lot of people but I think with the tattoo art specifically

the reading and the comprehension and so forth can be just a big big deal when it comes to putting letters on a birdie the way that they have to from time to time that's true yeah this guy I didn't like ask to see his his diploma or anything before getting in the chair. Or a doctor's note about any sort of latent dyslexia

could be an issue in his line of work. Yeah, I thought about doing it on my knuckles. You know, Jesse Thorne got play ball on his across his knuckles, which I really love. And Star Trek would fit, you know, like... He got play ball on his knuckles, really? His play ball on his knuckles. Yeah. You know, he got to the point, like, where there was P-L-A-Y-B.

He could have gone Playboy. Like, I wonder if there was a moment during the lettering where he could have, he could have taken a turn. With an exclamation point on the last, on the last pinky. Yeah. Yeah. Play-Boy! He had a chance.

I think that there's an inked-up F-O-D out there that is, like, looking for their next hat, that's still got the knuckles available. that is willing to get Star Trek tatted on the knuckles the way Radio Rahim has love and hate on his knuckles. I guess he has those as knuckle dusters, not as tats, right? I'm sorry, I just got a really unusual smell in the studio. Hmm. I think you got gas? Or is it aloe vera gel?

I wonder if it's the aloe vera that's making a weird smell. Like, it, honestly, it smells like pachuli. Oh. And I don't wear any pachuli products. Yeah. I'm not some fucking dirty hippie. Is there a ninja hippie creeping around in your studio? Oh, God.

There might be. I'm looking way up high. You know, my studio's got these high ceilings. They could be up in a corner. You got to be careful. A ninja hippie could come from any angle. Yeah. the only thing that that foretells them is their is their distinctive scent yeah and uh you know when you

when you get one when you beat one in in single combat they'll have uh fallen ninja hippie hair which is just like one white guy dreadlock crossing their face oh yeah yeah you know the worst is when you get into a one-on-one you know single combat with a ninja hippie and it's one of those levels in the video game where you can break through the floor because technically that does count as going to a second location and you don't want to do that. Yeah, it's weird. I don't smell it anymore. All right. Maybe they came to kill me. They saw me in this condition and they were like, no, that guy's got it bad enough. You remember in the novel Enders game when he gets in that fight in the in the bathroom, he like soaps himself up so he'll be super slippery and the bullies that

came to get him, won't be able to get a good grip. The ninja hippie saw you, and he was like, this is, this is like Ender from Ender's game. I don't want that mess. I know nothing about the Ender Saga, Ben, and it pains me to say it because a friend of De Soto, friend of the show, Chris Karaba, huge Ender Saga fan. No kidding. Keeps trying to get me into it. I'm not into it. I think the first two books are really good, although the second one does get into, like some patriarchy apologia that maybe isn't so great?

Oh, maybe I'll start there. Sounds good to me. That was assigned reading in my middle school, Ender's game. As has been said many times before, when you tell a tale of Benjamin Harrison in middle school, unusual middle school in high school experience.

Yeah, yeah. We're going to go from Latin class to that. Let's just say. Let's go from Marin to show, Ben. Let's do it. We're here to recap a very interesting episode of Star Trek Enterprise at season three, episode 14. It's called Stratagem. Got free speech and guitar.

Am I saying that word right? Yeah, it's confusing because it is one letter off from the much more popular Star Trek word, Stratajama. Right. Why isn't that in this? Why does nobody put cow milkers on their fingers in this episode? You know when Archer and Degger are like rooting through the storage compartments in their shuttle later? Like the cow milker system should like should drop out.

Yeah. Like the dead facehugger in an alien movie? Put your cow milker on before helping others. That's kind of the implication. Check it out. Ben, did you read the credits for this one? This was written by Mike Sussman, but story by credit, Terry Mattalus. Damn.

About that. The first time I can remember seeing one of those. Yeah, a little Star Trek origin story of its own right there. I heard he has the same tat as me, but he got his lined up right, and that's why he's been so successful in the Star Trek world. Well, I heard what he did was he had the original. script for Star and then he found the Trek part like from some other tattoo and and put them together like he did with the Enterprise D and the finale of Star Trek Picard. Sure. Well, DeGra has got quite a bit more hair than we've ever seen him with and he wakes up in kind of a, it looks like

a shot like the inside of a shuttle pod maybe kind of busied up to look. different, and Archer also has a lot of hair, and there's, like, bangers dropping. Anytime you can get Scott Bacula into a five o'clock shadow, into a cowboy shadow, you got to do it at this point. He looks great with this. He does. Like, the little micro pony, not so good, but, like, everything on the front of his head is rocking. Everything on the back is a little bit suss. say. Ben, would you have an easier time beating in a fist fight one full-size Captain Archer with a full-size ponytail or a hundred micro-archers with micro-ponies?

I would win, but I would feel bad about the one with the micro-archers. I know. I know. And I would lose the other one. Yeah. Yeah. So like both kind of feel like choices I don't want to pick but they're getting attacked and Archer really wants DeGra to raise shields and DeGra goes and tries to work

the controls and he can it's one of the situations I like about movies is often that cold open where you're just like dropped into a plot and you got to figure it out and that's DeGra's situation here right? He's like what the fuck? Where am I?

Who is this? And why is he giving me a bunch of orders. Why does he look like he runs a boogie boarding rental company out of a van in a tourist town? Why have I taken orders from him? I'm Degra. That much he knows. He knows who he is. Yeah. He sees these ships outside the window and he's like, oh, well, those are, those are Zindy ships. I can get on the horn and order them to stop. Archer says, not so fast, mon frere, they won't Listen, you don't have any control over those type of Zindy anymore. Yeah, the recognition of them and a possible relationship is meaningless at this point. It is a desperate effort to vent their fuel, which they do, and we just see this kind of on radar, but they vent fuel, and this, we're told, has the effect of overheating the engines of the pursuing ships, and they can't.

not pursue so it's spy hunter shit that we love yeah yeah yeah so archer and degra are going to warp out of there and they've just kind of like picked a okay there's a quiet system several days travel ahead that's where we're going and finally we have a moment to breathe and a moment for degris to ask why he has been abducted and he does not recognize archer he doesn't know like what Archer is or who he is. I don't know her. And when Archer drops that he's a human, this is fucking shocking to Degra. Is that worse news than being kidnapped?

It feels like being kidnapped could be dealt with that it's from a human is mostly unpalatable to him. Yeah. I also wanted to know from Degra, like, does getting a look at what a human looks like change anything for him? Because... Yeah, didn't you want to know what he would guess they would? look like. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I mean, Degra is a very interesting character because he's

humanoid, but he also comes from a world with intelligent species that look all kinds of different ways. So how you like demonize and vilify an alien species you've never seen before is kind of an interesting thought experiment. You want to know something? It's actually easier not to know what they look like. like. A few people know. I never knew what the Hooshnack looked like before I exterminated them. Never knew at all.

They really put their who in Hoosnack? As they rained a bunch of hellfire onto my planet and my beloved Rishan, they did it from orbit. Never got a glimpse of them. Poor Rishan was working the

orbital defense system firing wantonly into the sky. doing nothing to protect herself or anyone else. One other thing few people know about my extermination of the Hoosnack is that the pieces of them that fell through the atmosphere onto Delta Rana. Not identifiable, mostly crispy, but many, many pieces of Hoosnack had to be then disposed of.

They made my farming. I really bounced back after the, orbital bombardment. You saw my lawn. This is very impressive. Lash, verdant, green in every season. That's the pair of

Hoosnack fertilizers. Degra. Not quite believing the story of escaping an insectoid prison colony that they've been kept at for three years. And Archer's like, dude, you don't have to believe

what I'm saying. Believe what your eyes tell you. And he rolls up his sleeve and rolls up Degris's sleeve. Matching forearm. tattoos. Yeah, and like, you would think that this would sort of shatter the illusion for Degra and he would have more

questions about where he was and who he was talking to, but it doesn't for some reason, but like a third arm kind of just comes through a hatch in the wall and it's got a bunch of nipples on it. Yeah. And Archer's like, see, different from that. And Degrer's like, yeah, the conflict is over. We both lost. I get it now.

You're never going to let that go, are you? Here's a question. I bet a lot of FODs have an answer to that I do not. Can you tattoo nipple skin? Is there something untatooable about it? Or maybe it just hurts so bad, no one ever would? I can't recall seeing tattooed nipples.

I don't know. I mean, people get their, like, mascara tattooed on. I feel like if there's exposed skin, you can tat it. If you have tattooed nipples out in the audience, send pictures to Ben's email. the email account that he shares with his wife yeah please do um so that's our cold open the war is over the insectoids won and the humanoid zindi lost as did the earth uh also a big loser the inside of degris arms which are absolutely crawling with what we learn are blood worms blood worms were used to interrogate them, and they have some pretty nasty side effects, like a loss of short-term

memory, which helps convince Degra of the reality of his situation. The reason he doesn't remember is because of the bloodworms thing. Right. I wondered about this because there's like a, your memory will come back, but they were interrogating you, but we also know that they were in jail for three years. So like, why wait three years to interrogate? I mean, if you could only see the backup at this prison. Sure. It's really hard to move them through the bloodwarming process. It's one of those things where it's like without funding, you know, like even fascism

needs infrastructure, you know? Absolutely. And a shitload of funding. Yeah. So DeGre remembers going to that one star system for the weapons test, but that's the last thing he can remember and Archer tells him about like, yeah, the weapons test didn't go great because we sabotaged your chemo site and Degro's like, oh, that fucking Greylic, I knew he was up to something. And Archer was like, yeah, like, Greylic, you know, whether or not he

deserved it got what was coming to him a long, long time ago. They beat him to death with wooden shoes, which is kind of an elegant way to do the punishment. Hence the word sabotage. A very poetic RSVP Grayley. Yeah. Also RSVP Earth. Yeah. That also died. And RSVP thousands of humanoid Zindi because we learn that while Degra and the council were focused on building this anti-Earth weapon, the insectoids were secretly building a space armada that they then turned around and used to.

dominate all of the other zindi species. This sure does seem believable, right? Every time we have an encounter with an insect zindi, they just seem like assholes. They don't seem very easy to work with. They don't seem like a very good faith council member type. Yeah. They're chaotic evil. The lizardmen are a little more like lawful evil, maybe.

But that doesn't necessarily make good bedfellows, even though they're both on the side of evil. Like, I feel like a lawful character is going to be, have more antipathy with a chaotic character than, you know, a character that is good or whatever. This begins kind of a lot of unwelcome references to the last qualified barbers in humanity being killed by the Zindy that Archer constantly brings up unsolicited. Like, yeah, I guess I'll never get a good haircut anymore now that all the barbers are dead. I don't know if there's anything I can do with this butt micropony Yeah Micropony Club I got enough hair for the Micropony Club

I'm going to tie it up into a micropony club Tiger is on his way to Micropony Club You could be in it He is, yeah Yeah so Degra's feeling some pain from the bloodworm that he can see crawling under the skin of his forearm and in a scene that is gross as hell Archer takes a neither sharp nor unsharped instrument to his wrist

and cuts a little slit that allows for a tweezing of the bloodworm to be just pulled slowly out of his arm in a it's really gross dude it is so gross and I love the reason for his saving of the blood worm being paid off later you see this thing getting yanked out and you're like why wouldn't you throw it on the floor and step on it but he very carefully and gingerly places it into a little saving beaker yeah and seals it up it's a much more uh slow and leisurely version of the sucking out the the critter from Neo's belly in the Matrix.

Yeah. Very similar looking critter. Like World's Worst Gummy Worm is basically the log line of this creature. And I posted a clip of this on R slash popping. And it was a big hit. Ugh. If we change the words, then it's fair use all day long. Later on, Archer finds a bottle of hooch.

And he's like, hey, Degra, you look like you could use a drink after that whole armworm situation. Degra's not feeling it. Instead, they talk more about their time in prison and how much time they spent trying to kill each other while we were there. I love this back story. They were like itchy and scratchy in there,

fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, until Archer came pretty close to death and proposed an alliance. He was like, look, man, you might not know this about me. I'm the most prolific jailbreaker in the galaxy. If you want a chance to get out of here, you're going to partner with me. Stick with me, dude. And also, at that point, Degra had won his war against humanity.

Yeah. So his new war, the new front is against the insectoids. Archer's like one of the only people that can help him with that. I know. I know. You got to get out first, right, if you want revenge. Yeah. So they stole a Melosian cargo.

shuttle, and this all happened despite Degra's memory loss due to bloodworms, but they are now on the same team, and we learned, like, the entrepreneur blew up with all hands aboard. Archer is the only survivor of that. We start to get a little bit of backstory from Degra now, which is that the council, the Zindy council was originally convened to search for a new planet to house. all of their species after the destruction of the original planet and the avian zindi in their sectarian war. So the council was already convened, and then they found out about the, I guess, the temporal Cold War and got the technology to create the weapon to destroy the

earth. Evidently, you can be a pretty high-ranking weapons designer, an expert, and count on your family being safe. He mentions that as far as he knows, they're fine. Yeah. On a colony near a red giant is what he says. But they don't get very far into like the family backstory that they both have before a coolant leak just rockets gas into the inside of the ship. And oh no, there's only one respirator and Archer finds it and gives it to Degra so that he can seal the rupture while he's overcome by the gas. Wow. Amazing move, Archer. How generous. to give Degra the gash mask. I know.

DeGra, I feel like, could have clocked in this moment, the subterfuge at play, because the, you see the fucking crack that this coolant leak is coming out of? It's like a perfect zigzag lightning bolt. Yeah, it looks made. That does it look like something that happened accidentally. Also, you see the mouthpiece on this respirator? I think you could put two mouths side by side on that thing

and start sucking air. You're saying it's like the piece of furniture that rose is on at the end of Titanic? I think you could go cheek to cheek and both get some air. I just think there's some discomfort there. Let Leo aboard, Degra. Yeah. Yeah. Archer is unconscious eventually, but the leak is sealed.

And after their ordeal with the coolant leak, they go to bed. But Archer wakes up and gets all sneaky, gets some gadget. out of somewhere and injects Degra. I mean, congratulations to Degra for sleeping so soundly with a stranger, like the night of a pretty crazy day of learning what your situation is. I guess that's enough to tucker you out. Last time I got a lung full of coolant like that, I was snoring that night, you know. Yeah, I mean, you do a little bloodworm surgery.

I think the birdie is going to need some R&R time. So I get that. Kind of a lot coming down on them at once. So this is when it is finally revealed that this has all been happening inside a simulator and this is all happening on the entrepreneur. They are tricking Degra to pump him for information. And specifically, they're curious about where Degra's family might be because I think that might be where the final weapon is being manufactured. How'd you feel about the reveal? The way it was done, the moment of reveal itself, all that.

I was delighted because it's like, it's not the first time this season that we've got in an episode that's like, man, this like has really strange implications for the, all of the episodes we've watched up until now that we're like jumping to this point in time or whatever. I love that there is like institutional history with doing a my name as barash at someone and not just Riker. Like, this is way in the past that we were barashing. Yeah. Yeah. It goes way back. I mean, this is like a story by credit by somebody who loves them some Star Trek, you know? Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. So, yeah, there's a discussion where to Paul is like, okay, I think, Archer, this is going good, but you need to be a little bit more direct. Like, you just need to, like, find out where the weapon is being built. Like, let's not try to, like, tiptoe around it via figuring out where Degra's family is, and Archer disagrees. This is too risky. Degra will suspect something is up if he comes out with his ultimate question right away. What an interesting moment for a time jump. We cut to three days earlier at this point.

Enterprise has returned to the prototype test site. And, uh-oh. There's a Zindy ship nearby. They didn't see that one on that. their way in. And it's the same kind of ship that was there during the weapons test fire. So don't love the look of that. We're going to see inside of it right away, though. We cut to onboard that ship, and it's Degra's ship. And they've picked up Enterprise. So they both know about each other. Yeah. They both know about each other and almost immediately Enterprise fires on them. Like,

they don't wait. I love how mad Degra is and Thalen, his like second in command. Because Like, he's on a three-man ship. This is not the ship you want to go in, like, as janky in combat as the NX-O-1 entrepreneur is, Degra is on a runabout, essentially. And this is an era where Enterprise fires first, like, at all times. Yeah, so, like, Degra's like, fuck, you didn't tell me about that. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And pretty quickly, they are disabled.

Do you think it blunts it a little bit when it's Reed that's firing first? Like, that's not an actual enterprise-fired-first situation, really, right? Yeah. Like, because what they don't show in the exterior shot is, like, two or three phaser beams, like, missing wildly. Before finally getting him with the fourth. The entrepreneur letting seven torpedoes go and one of them, like, explodes, like, pretty close. I think that makes it better, right? Yeah.

Yeah. There's, like, a nod. And Thalen, this second in command guy, sort of gets a wordless order and starts doing something with the computer that looks very distinctly like he is erasing the hard drive. And this is confirmed very quickly with the entrepreneur crew now aboard this ship, analyzing the computer and realizing there's very little data left aboard. And Hoshi is sort of leading the figure out what information we can get out of. the remaining data core. This is really one of those. Oh, Hoshi, I forgot you were there.

Welcome back to the show kind of moments. Like, it feels like it's been a while since she's been a part of things. Yeah, but a cool, a cool part. Like, this sort of is like an interesting linguistic task, like, understanding what is information that can, you know, have useful shit derived out of it. There's lots of personal letters that mentioned DeGRA and a place called Azadi Prime. So that might be useful. Read hears this, like reads in the room when they learn about these personal files and like the camera finds him. And there's like a moment

of recognition like, yes, there would be, wouldn't there? Like you'd have to write letters. Like when the fire's really coming down on you and you feel like it's the end. Is this just the letter he wrote the moment my phaser cannon started hitting the hull of their ship? Is that what the letter is, Hoshi? I feel like. I feel like I understand my adversary in a deeper way now. Isn't it almost poetic how I, Malcolm Reed, was the one firing the weapons, and yet these Zindy were writing home to their ex-girlfriends? Do you think if you're Australian and you have ex-girlfriends, some people might think that you

said you have nine girlfriends? Oh, like in Roman... Yeah. Like, Jesus, nine girlfriends? How do you keep them straight? We need rhyme. Now I know why there's so much drama with your eke's girlfriends. There's fucking nine of them.

Who's got the time for all that? Yeah, yeah. We're never going to be invited to do a podcast festival in Australia after that. We're screwed. Yeah, there's an email from our friend and agent right now saying, I'll look into it but I'm guessing it's a you beat me to it

God damn it Just subject line Nair NAR I watched a British video the other day where this guy is saying he had the recipe

for the ultimate breakfast sandwich And after the first layer He added another piece of bread And started stacking other shit on it And he said Now I'm going to add 90% puerk sausage

the common section did not disappoint it was all people trying to spell pork if it's 90% pork what's the 10% another question that was interrogated

deeply in the comment section that 10% is what's pork the 90% is something else very unusual legally it's just a This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace, providing everything you need to create a website. And why are you making a website? To get paid, of course. Luckily, Squarespace makes it easy to turn your cool idea into an online cash register. And if you're going to ask for money, you better look

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going, then support it. Well, so nice to meet you, Adam. Thank you very much, everybody. Keep up the good work. I meet it. I'm not just blowing smoke. Become a max fun member now at maximum fun.org slash join. Good evening. Thanks for tuning in to 101.1.1 Max Fun. It's midnight here on host to coast, and we've got Sarah for Michigan on line one. Hi, I'm calling him for some help. I used to love reading, but between grad school, having kids and the general state of the world, I can't seem to pick up a book and stick with it anymore. Sarah, this is an easy one. Just listen to Reading Glasses, a podcast designed to help you read better.

Brea and Mallory will get all the pressure, shame, and guilt out of your reading life. You'll be finishing books you love in no time. Great. That sounds amazing. Also, I do think my husband is cheating on me with Mothman. Can you help me with that one? Ooh, I don't think they cover that. Reading glasses every Thursday on Maximum Fun. You will never take the greatest shit alive. Ben would rather die.

There's an attempted interrogation scene in the brig. Archer goes down there and tries to ask Degra a bunch of questions. Read, warm up the door that goes to the outside. Yeah, no kidding. Go man that station. I need something to do on this ship, come on. Fair enough. Degra's not making with the info

and power systems are not going great. It's a little like embarrassing to try and, you know, big dog someone when your ship is kind of clearly falling apart like this. It's so great. I love that. I love the reality of this moment. Turns out the the radiation from the weapon debris. That's still a big issue in the system. Yeah. And

it's messing with their power. He tells Reed to take the ship out of the field in this moment. Like, why don't we get on out of here? Hey, hey, Reed, I'm trying to brag about our awesome plan and how much of a badass we all are. Like, this whole radiation problem is making me look like an asshole right now. Not the kind of badass asshole I'm going for either. Okay? So Reed does that. And back to the interrogation, Degra does not appear to be intimidated whatsoever. By capturing us, you've accomplished nothing. So we got to go back to the drawing board. And in Six Bay, Flox is like, hey, I've been studying the physiology of these guys. And I think I know how to erase specific memories in Degra's mind.

We could, like, erase all of the shit up until we met him. And suddenly we are in a McLaughlin group. Issue one. Like, the idea for the fake shuttle and the, like, building a simulator and starting to trick Degra has all happened. And now they're just talking about the practicalities. Like, can we do this? Archer is talking to Paul about, like, kind of writing the,

the backstory with him about all of the shit that would have happened in the three years. I got a special tingle when the conversation turned toward constructing a flight simulator, like on a gimbal and all that. It's big fun. Trips like, we got a couple of Thrustmaster joysticks could outfit this thing with. Very realistic force feedback. The height of 1998 technology. flocks is a talented

inksman tattooist unlike the fucking guy I went to this is $10,000 you believe that? Ooh that is not great yeah but apparently

that used to be all the rage among flocks's people they're also going to you know put some loaf on Archer and fix his hair up but they're also going to fix up Degris hair and they're going to like gray up their hair a little bit. We learned that imprisonment and torture will do to your hair, kind of what

Star Trek podcasting will do to your hair, kind of, you know, take some of the luster out of it, you know. I don't know, man. Speak for yourself. I'm still feeling good in the hair department. Yeah, I got a little gray at the temples. I feel like that's all this, all this show. Oh, it has nothing to do with having two small children. Are you sure about that doctor? They're great. absolutely no stress they're doing fine they're doing good

big ones poeing on the potty congratulations yeah anyway so back in the simulator Archer like sneaks back in they seal it back up and DeGro wakes up to

spatial anomalies causing bangers and he's like what about that like substance you're supposed to coat your hull in in the expanse and Archer's like this is a piece of shit

It doesn't have that. So we've got to take it out of warp. Archer's like, look, DeGra, I mean, we're kind of stuck here without you maybe communicating with your folks. Like, I feel like your contacts could really get us out of this situation. If only you could blow in a distress call to them. Right. And DeGra's like, I could, but I will not give you my pin code. I would like to type it myself.

No. And so he, like, gets very close to the. the pin pad and like covers it with with a palm of one of his hands and he he types it in yeah it's like peewee going to his toy vault in the Christmas special yeah does not want you to see the code I do have a yo yo this is like a secret comms channel for communicating with primate officials so not even like arboreals seem like primates but I guess that's not the terminology are aqua zindi using keyboards that seems impossible right what exactly are they doing are they uh are they nosing a little uh beach into into a cup to do their communications yeah i think that's probably as advanced as they've

gotten they're like venting their blowholes out yeah onto a keyboard we're told that they're like unbelievably intelligent but this is as far as they can get you know it's like i don't know, guys. Look, this might get me into some hot water, but I do not believe Aqua Zindi belong at the table for their deal. Come on. They're kind of a joke. You should have seen how fucking crazy the Zindi species aside from the Aquas went when a whale

probe showed up in orbit of their planet trying to talk to the aquas. Yeah. Hey, and when it comes time to evacuate the planet, I don't know, Aqua Zindi. Let's save the birds, Zindi before the aquas, right? I think so. Look, look, we just don't have the ability to build the tanks. Yeah. This is all happening while we get news from Reed that there is a Zindi ship heading toward the system. They're six hours out. This may be a problem that they will need to deal with sooner rather than later. And so. Ben, you have to make a bet. Have to make a bet right now. I'm putting you on the spot.

Will we see an Aqua Zindi ship at any point? it's just like a fish tank with nacelles it's just a brick-shaped clear tank and it moves so slowly because you don't want to slosh the water inside yeah it's like oh that's cute there's like a little a little treasure chest

that has like some bubbles that come out of it periodically I don't think we'll see one I don't think the show has the nuts wow we'll see So, yeah, DeGra has sent a distress call. Archer keeps kind of like trying to get a little more information about where DeGra's family is. So he's like, you know, what's it like where they are? I think crucially, he keeps trying to get DeGra to drink in these moments

because everyone knows the most reliable way to get information from someone is to get shit-house drunk with them. Yes. Like, in this scene, DeGra's actually enjoying the Andorian ale with him. Yeah. And talking about how bleak and desolate their calling. is and he starts talking about like what motivated him to like do the project he's like you know like I love my family even though I like moved them to this desolate horrible place for my work I would

do anything to protect them up to and including building a planet killer weapon so yeah feel pretty good about my life choices and they start to get a a scratchy radio broadcast and this person represents themselves as Thalen, but it's actually Hoshi, like, doing a voice. And, uh, I wish it was more of an impression instead of, uh, an effect. Like, Hoshi puts on a deep, weird voice. Yeah.

Ultimately, every time Hoshi does an impression, it just kind of sounds like Buffalo Bill. That's why people don't like Hoshi. Would you tell me where a Zoddy Prime is? I'd tell me where a Sadi Prime is so fucking fast. Degra, it is me. Thalen, you're Betty. Do you know where a Zadhi Prime is?

That's what we're trying to figure out. You remember how when we were kids we used to run through the hose? Over and over, we'd get the hose again on a hot day. We go way back, you and me. Degra and Thalen Me Thalen You know

After three years In an injectoid prison I'm guessing you're going to want to moisturize And I recommend putting the lotion on its skin I won't cease Or desist Because you really think it's fair use Are you ever self-aware

About How often you say your own name In any given conversation Like this scene made me think of that Like I rarely ever say my name In any conversation And when I do it feels very like official Like we're doing business

Or whatever But like Yeah you're never going like It's me Ben Harrison Well there was a time when we were kids Where we'd have to do that right When we'd call people on the phone

And a family member would pick up And you'd have to say it's Adam I'm calling for Ben Can Ben come out and play or something you don't really do that anymore and the way that Thalen has to Hoshi Thalen. Yeah, they don't have caller ID on subspace

radio. Yeah. So this is another one of those checks that Degra is still too paranoid to go through, right? Like, yeah, it's his buddy Thalen on the line, but he doesn't want to give the coordinates to where this guy is to Archer. Again, he's going to go to the pinpad and keep it a secret. Yeah. But it's not a

secret because these pinpad types are going straight out into the simulator room. They got keystroke monitoring turned on. Yeah. And Archer's like, how far is it? And Degra's like, not too long. And Archer's got the like earpiece in. So Tepal radio's in.

This is a three week journey, which is like, this is like the first moment where they're like, do we want to believe it's Degra? Because if we actually go there on the assumption that this is the weapon, like this is a long-ass-term. we might not find the weapon there when we get there. It could be that Degra's onto us and is leading us astray. I think it also is useful to remember that the Enterprise crew still isn't totally clear on how high up Degra is in this whole thing, right?

Right. Like, he still seems to be a part of it, but not the apex part of it, that he actually is. And I think their relationship with, is this worth it, is very different if they knew that. Right. like what a high priority captive they actually have. Yeah, yeah. A banger gets dropped on this shuttle, and it's not a banger that they were planning on

because what is going on is the simulator hydraulics are acting up due to the radiation in the debris field. And again, they got to get out of the debris field. So Tepal orders this, and inside the shuttle, Archer is like making a good show of pretending to be at the controls and dealing with whatever turbulence they've encountered. It's got to be such a head fuck for Bacula, too. Like, Bacula, who is now three and a half seasons into a show where he's got to act

as though he's on a ship that is, like, getting bangers dropped on it, now has to be directed into not so persuasively depicting the bangers. Isn't that wild? Like, there's got to be a moment where Bacula's, like, takes a bit. beat. And he's like, all right, I think I know how to do that. Right. Yeah. Out of the corner of his eye, Degra sees that the window out which they are looking glitches out a little bit. That sucks. It sucks. Yeah. Those aren't real Starfield warp streaks. Yeah. So Degra is now wise. And he calls Archer on it, like, pretty immediately. And he's like, hey, like, we were in jail for three years.

and became friends over that time. What are the names of my kids? You surely remember. I must have talked about them a lot. And in his earpiece, Hoshi's like, we're trying to find out the information right now.

I don't know why I can't stop doing the voice. It's just very fun to me. It is, like, genuinely speaking, a very fun voice to do. If this is the only impression I can do, I'm actually very okay with that. And you know, like, what are the chances it kind of sounds like Kevin Xbridge also? It does, I mean, it's not, it's not really a Kevin Xbridge impression at this point.

It's more just a voice that you do. This is agonizing to Archer, like, because he really needs the answer fast. And he's got to create some time for, for this answer to be found. Peral and Jena are the names. Yeah. And Degro's like, cool, yeah, everyone knows that. But which one's older? This is when he starts swinging a knife around

And this turns into You know close quarters combat in a tight space And Archer actually Wins this fight But not before Tripp and the Makos Like burst into the simulator Yeah like knife to the throat timing Is when the door opens

Yeah About that The other thing that DeGra drops Is that what you don't realize Isadhi Prime Is not a place where my people would have been like in this context where the insectoids sprung a secret attack on all the other zindy species like my family would have gone first because there's a huge insectoid military facility there and they would have eradicated all of the non-infectoids right away despite all that archer like game recognized game you're very tricky and that was a really good ruse like it was just a couple of little details that fucked it up for you.

You really barashed me, Archer. Gotta say, I felt very barraished by you. Hey, rub some of that aloe vera on me, because I got a barash. I love Archer in this moment. He's like, yeah, maybe. We only got this far this time. But how about we just re-rack the billiard balls here,

wipe your brains once again, and start back from the beginning. But we're not sure if we have time for that because what we've been led to understand is that the weapon is very, very close to being completed. And, like, the question of when Degra knew that this was a charade is aired in this scene, too, because Hoshi's like, maybe he knew about it later and he just made up the coordinates. Or maybe he didn't. How are we supposed to know?

Yeah, like, there is a, do we believe the coordinates he gave us? They're three weeks away. That could be a wild goose. chase. Three weeks of weird times inside the expanse. Don't sound fun to anyone. No. There are these subspace vortices that they have

observed this indie using. Like, could we like really quickly figure out how they do that and get there really quickly? I think there's something so perfect about the way you said that. Because learning about a thing very quickly to do something very fast seems very dangerous.

Like, you usually. should do one of those things slow to ensure your survival, right? In the fuck-it-hold-my-beard parlance, it seems like not a great choice, but they're talking about this, and suddenly we are trying it. I love these cuts. I love talking about it, cutting right into doing it. And Tepal's in command, and archers given orders from engineering, and the ship is underway, and it's all bangers all the time at this point.

It's insane, and so Reed goes and gets dead. And Greigra and Thalen, there's that third Zendie guy that doesn't have a name and just, like, appears to have no responsibilities of any kind. It's great. He gets left at the brig, but Reed is like bringing them up to the bridge to see if they can help stabilize the vortex because the ship is in such grave danger. And it's probably the bangriest sequence we've seen on Enterprise. Like, it is really fucking kinetic and crazy for a long time. I mean, is this just Reed wrangling three Zindy? Like, with all the bangers and him having a phaser, like, he drags him over to engineering,

and he's like, he's kind of bad lieutenanting the Zindy. He's like, you, you fix the slipstream, you show me, show me how you fix the engine. The bangers dissipate. We're told, like, over the radio, this is something that Travis Mayweather, did, on the bridge, we see a red giant up on the view screen. We're here. They made it. Amazing. And Archer kicks Degra off the bridge and reveals, hey, we fooled you, motherfucker. This was a trick. Such a great moment here because Archer lets Degra hang himself. Like, it seems like business as usual when they see the red giant on the screen. Like, all right, time to kick ass. Oh, by the way,

let's get these fucking Zindy off the bridge and almost like on his way out almost over his shoulder Degra's like, you guys are fucked the perimeter defense is going to get you. God damn it. Yeah. You should never have even tried to come here

to Azadi Prime the place you definitely were trying to find. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's clear that Degra has been double barashed. A double barashing. Thanks for your help. taken to six bay

a barash on both sides and they knock out Degra and Thalen and unnamed third Zindy re-erase their memories, put them back on their ship leave it there and bug out

there has to be a side effect to repeated memory wipes like there is no fucking way Degra is 100% after this Right? Yeah, Degra is going to, like, sue the league for his CTE

is what's going to happen. Yeah. Very, like, brief Archer log to say, like, we now know where to go. I hope this is all going to be over soon in a very, like, famous last words kind of way. Yeah, that really is a one way or another kind of way to put it, isn't it? It is. But did you like this episode? I can't pay.

for late Got no case I like Truman Show style Pieces of media Like this felt I love a good barashing And it feels like

This episode has that It always This is if Nathan Fielder Had a Star Trek show It always introduces That little kernel of doubt In my mind though Anytime I see a story

like this. I can't help but look at my own surroundings with a little more scrutiny. I can't help it feel a little strange tingle about my own life. And then that immediately goes away, like very quickly, because of course this is real and none of this is fake. But to see it, like, you know how there's that way of thinking that goes like we might be in a simulation? Like eventually future tech would advance to such an extent that real life, as we perceive it today, would be indistinguishable from what a high-powered computer simulator could create in the future. And when I see that this is just like a group of six people on the enterprise putting together a simulation like this, I'm like, they got nothing and they're doing a great job.

And they got Degra really twisted around the axle of his mind here for, for a long time like it would take so little to do that to our 21st century brains you know yeah yeah it really makes me think in a fun way and not a way that is going to fit me for a straight jacket like it doesn't drive me crazy it's just very thought provoking in a fun way that i like yeah yeah like this is a little after the era of hollywood where like you know there was like open your eyes and The Matrix and the Truman Show where like there's a real moment for reality is not what it

seems type movies and I feel like this is like a even more paranoid take on that as an idea because of this like the small scale of it like makes it so much more intense and I also just love like sort of making

Degra the main character of the episode like he's somebody that we've really learned very little about up until now and this is. Yeah you need did this, didn't you? Interesting way to flesh him out as a character. Mm-hmm. And maybe for the first time, I feel like he's formidable. Like, he was beaten here by Archer. Yeah. But he did, even in a very weakened state, put up a pretty good fight mentally. Like, he was up to the challenge here in a way that I respect, in a way that I needed to respect by

the bad guy of the series, you know? It was time to know more about him. Well, it's also time to learn more about our viewers in the Priority One inbox, Adam. Do you want to go over there with me? Cannot wait. There's going to be no form of mind erasing that could remove these from the show, Ben.

Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplemental income. Supplement. Supplement. Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.

This first one is of a promotional nature and it goes like this. Everybody knows that the Bible is an ancient book. What our theory presupposes is it's actually being released now as a streaming TV show that's a big budget hot mess? Follow along at Rath of Pod. FOD's Marcus and Deanna review every bizarre plot point of this fictional series. If you don't take the Bible too seriously, join them to ask,

Was there some chemistry between Eve and the snake? Why is Abraham in trouble with HR? And is that a wrestling trophy on God's mantle? Guaranteed Trek reference in every podcast app. The call to action is listen and subscribe to Wrath of Pod in your podcast app. That that. What a great subject.

Yeah, this is great. You don't need to take that too seriously, just as Wrath of Pod does. I'm reminded of, I just saw Rory Scoval do an hour in L.A. And a big, big part of his set was about the crucifixion of Jesus. And holy moly. That was an amazing 20 minutes of comedy. Man.

Like, you can make fun and funny out of things out of the Bible. And I am very curious to hear what Marcus and Deanna do here. I'm into it. Yeah, the weird old storyness of it is like such a fun, it's such a fun idea to adapt that to a, a like modern streaming TV concept. You got to teach the controversy. Yeah, sounds like they're kind of early in the book, too, based on some of these references. I mean, Abraham and the snake and all that stuff. I feel like you could get outboard right at the beginning of this thing and write it like a

rocket ship. Yeah, you don't want to miss too much of the establishing stuff with the Bible. You're just going to get lost completely. Yeah, by the time they're in like the New Testament, you're going to be like, I don't know what the fuck is going on, you know? Yeah. No. Yeah. Rath of Pot is the podcast. Go check it

out. Then we got a priority one message here that is of a personal nature. It's from she, who is your lover girl. And it is to he who is my lover boy. Here's that message. Surprise! A priority one. message. I've so loved voyaging the final frontier with you this past year,

a.k.a. tussling with Paramount Plus. Who knew that a round, adorable, predatory bone drinker could beam me back into the Treki life? Let's keep boldly going. Together, hashtag justice for porthos. And a request here at the end, play as many moopsie drops as there were tribbles invading Kronos. What happened to Porthos that Porthos needs justice? Oh no.

I've heard of justice for Tuvix, but... Oh, no, bad. Yeah. Oh, this is dark. This is a dark thought. Yeah. Something bad happens to Porthos. I'm bracing myself. Are we going to shoot him out of a torpedo tube? Hmm. Of all the souls, I've met in my travels,

his was the most canine. Yeah. Yeah. Really makes you think just as these two priority one messages made us think and read. That's part of the deal with priority and messages. You write out your thing to say. We say it in a fun, adorable way to our legion of FODs out in the world. Commercial and personal messages, both great ways to support the production of our show. And you can do it at maximum fun.org slash jobotron. We really appreciate it. Hey Adam What? Did you find yourself Drunk Shimoda?

Drunk Shimoda Yeah there was the interrogation scene I don't know if it was the second or the first one I think it was the second one Archer rolls in They've thrown Degr in the brig It's a Mike Vihar episode

And his composition is foreground Degra Background Zindy Hensch Laying on the bunk in the back and soft focus totally expressionless just like chill in the most back

there as a witness to what's happening I just thought that was funny like he didn't need to be in the composition but he was he was the entire time I don't even know if they go to a single with DeGra at all it's just all this two shot

and I just thought that was great like bunk bed Zindi is going to be by drunk Shimoda nice my drunk Shimoda is somebody in the crew I don't know if this would be a person in the props department or the sets department or what. But there's that scene in the – I think it's in the command center when they're talking about, like, what if we really quickly figure out how to use Zindy Vortexes?

There's like a star map in Elkar's representation in the background. And there is like the Apple mouse pointer just like right superimposed over it. Like they didn't move the mouse pointer away. well you don't accidentally trigger the the screensaver yeah that's the thing so this is at 37 minutes

and seven seconds for those looking for the time code but yeah just bump me right out of the episode like oh there's a there's a mouse clicker that's pretty great

yeah fun stuff faith of the fart well Adam we got to talk about what's coming up next on the show and how we will be doing it

Have to. The next episode will be season three, episode 15 of Star Trek Enterprise. It's called Harbinger. And the description is, as Archer tries to unravel a mystery of a rescued alien, long-simmering feelings explode, while his senior officers. Oh, shit. Wow. Some fucking is going to take place.

I see Thomas Copacchi in the credit. list for this upcoming episode. Unbelievable. A beloved Star Trek, that guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the old cowboy catheter guy. Cowboy catheter guy. He's the guy that only sells white socks.

Yeah. He's got a lot of important roles. Well, Ben, I rolled last time, and I got us onto this square, the decontamination square. That means we're on square 69. I'm really curious about what your role is going to send us to, what deeply humiliating way we'll be reviewing the next episode. As am I, Adam, I've got this hundred-sided dice in my hand, and it could take us anywhere.

So I'm going to go ahead and roll it. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. Wow, I rolled a 70. Shula! Did I win? Hardly. Rocketing us all the way up through the board and back to square 39. That looks like a regular old episode.

That'll be a regular episode for you and me. All right. Okay. I can live with that. Yeah. Hey, I can live with the support of the Friends of DeSoto who make this show possible by setting up a membership at maximum fund.org slash join. I can literally live with it because that is how I pay my bills and how Adam pays his bills and how all of the employees

of the Exbridge Shimoda Corporation make a living and we really, really appreciate the largesse of the Friends of DeSoto who make this thing possible for everyone. Without it, we go back to regular jobs and you lose the show. That's the reality. It would suck.

Got to think Windy Pretty, our producer, Editor makes this show sing every single time. I got to thank Bill Tilly, our Zindy Wartime Consigliary, making the trading cards that I laugh at every week when they get published. God, that Bill has not lost a step with those trading cards, by the way. Nope. Still just like as delightful to me as when they started to show up on social media. Way back in the day when we first started this show.

I don't know why we didn't mention this until now. Today, if you're listening to this show on the day it drops, the day of the Prana-Cabana is nigh. Whoa. It is today. Bill Tilly said he was going to be at Prana Cabana. Oh, shit. If you're in Vegas, come to the Rio pool deck area

where we will have a cabana as we do most years. We're going to be partying the most with a bunch of FODs. Bill and Wendy and me and Ben it'll be fantastic we got to thank Rob Adler our social media director who runs the at Greatest Trek social media accounts with Bill

also writes the greatest newsletter which I encourage you to sign up for at gach.biz slash mail or you can just go to greatesttrek.com now of course you can sign up for that put a lot of work into that. It comes out once a month lots of info about the show and how Things are going over here.

Get the knuck of the month in the greatest newsletter. That's always important information. Really solid stuff. Sure is. Love keeping in touch with the FODs. We got to thank Adam Ragusea. Our co-host on Wholesome, our secret patrons-only podcast, but also the very, very talented composer and arranger

behind our parody of Diane Warren's original Star Trek Enterprise song. And we've got to thank Dark Materia, creator of the Picard song. With that, we will be back at you next week. Another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise, an episode of the greatest generation that the Laramese are working out. Good.

Really nice. Good job. Maximum Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.