The Greatest Generation - Dick Valet (S2E5)

Episode Date: May 9, 2016

When the Enterprise has to transport Ginger Jesus to a peace negotiation between some ersatz Klingons, his sexual super-magnetism is a distraction for some of the crew. Their 5-star Uber rating is seemingly in the bag until his cadre of helpers is killed on an away mission, forcing the diplomat to talk only with his hands. Are these the worst alien effects we've seen? What's a job interview like for a bathroom attendant? Do they still have Pier 1 in the future? It's the episode where we return to Anybody Canyon!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Hey Ben. Hey Adam. Well thanks to all of our listeners. We have sort of been corded by some networks to join. And we are super excited to announce here before the episode today that we are joining MaximumFun.org.

Pretty much the Dream Network for both of us, I think. Yeah, like when we talked off-mic about the idea of joining a network, it was really only about joining this one. Like, I know that gives away all of our leverage business wise. But, like, fortunately the ink is dry. So, yeah. But if you don't know about Maximumfund.org, it's a network of comedy and culture podcasts that includes things like Judge Itan Hodgman,

my brother, my brother and me, NPR's Bullseye, Jordan Jesse Go, throwing shade, lady to lady, can I put your dog? There's so many great shows on this network. So if you are a fan of our show, I think the chances are pretty good that you would love everything else on this network. Their network is so good. Like I actually don't understand

why they would want us on it. Like one of these things is not like the other. And it's kind of feel like the other shows might be a little bit embarrassed to be sharing the airwaves with them. They are so great. Like, these are my favorite podcasts that I listen to that are on this network. So, I am super pumped to be a part of it. I am too. And nothing is really going to change with our show other than you're going to hear promos for other shows on the network peppered into the episodes which are always really fun to listen to, they're fun and funny and then you'll hear the maximum fun stinger at the end of the show and that's it. There are a lot of really cool podcasts and podcasts networks out, but I think very few of them do what Maximum Fund does. They are sincerely making great show, and I'm happy to be part of it.

You know, we haven't done a lot of advertising on our show, but we've done a dab. And while I think that it was a successful experiment for us and didn't detract from the quality of the show at all. One great thing about being on a listener-supported network like Maximum Fun is that we don't have any pressure to really lean into advertising. We might still do an ad from time to time, but that's not like the business model here. It's more just about making something that's great and giving it away for free and The people that really like it can can help out

monetarily if they want totally like if if I were listening to a podcast and they opened with the news that they were joining a network I'd be like oh fuck like it's gonna be it's gonna be full of ads and my favorite shows gonna get ruined And I'm never going to listen again. That is not happening here. That's the main takeaway. It's going to be the same terrible podcast you've come to know and love. But two hosts that are even more excited to be doing it than they were already.

Yeah, absolutely. Our biggest thanks to MaximumFund.org for having us on board. And we look forward to a long, great relationship with them producing this terrible podcast. Yeah, and we are sorry to all of the other podcasts hosts on the network for what this does to your image. It's like, it's like we sat down at the cool table in the lunch room and everyone else is getting up to leave. This is the podcast equivalent of that. Yeah, sorry guys. GEEEES! Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet.

Engage! Thank you! Welcome to the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica. I am Ben Harrison. Ben, the episode we're about to watch today kind of creep me out. How do you feel about it? Uh, that's... It's on a similar level. I'm hard to feel too creeped out right now because I am barbecuing and...

...drinking a beer. Oh, shut up, man! Yeah. There's nothing stopping me from doing that. No, nothing. You know what? I'm gonna go off mic and run to grab a beer and then I'm gonna be right back.

You're gonna hold down the show for me. So I gotta vamp while you're around, this. I think this should only be like 15 seconds. Okay, okay, okay, okay. You know, while Adam is away, I should tell you that I have half a mind to open this box of Star Trek cards that he bought for me on air today. I don't know if he's going to have his handy when I spring that on him, so he might be

forced to pop up and run and get those as well later in the show. And I'm back. Oh, okay, hey, hey, hey. And I've got a beer. Oh, that sound effect proves it. Oh, that's nice. Oh, nothing more refreshing than a nice cold beer and a Star Trek podcast. Hey guys, what have you been talking about?

Oh, nothing. Okay. I'm, that'll be a fun surprise when I go to edit the episode. I see it's becoming a speech. You're the captain, so very entitled. I'm going to type a ramble on about something everyone knows. So the enterprise is once again on a courier mission. Yeah.

This is like a key kind of mission that the enterprise is stuck with is like we need some stuff to get from one place to another place. And the flagship of a fleet of thousands of ships is going to get stuck with this with this duty. They're kind of like the Uber XL right? Yeah. The really the best Uber you can get is what you call for a transportation mission like this one. Yeah. The congestion price and don't mind if I do. Three X scarves is the surge price for the flagship of the federation.

Oh, oh geez, that's a lot of, that's, that will, that is a closet rating. I know. In a way that a only T Tasha Yar could really match. So what's going on here is that there's some aliens on a planet called Salais 5 that have been at war for centuries and they are finally ready to drop them swords and pick up them plough shares. Yeah, like the idea is the war has gone on so long that they've killed just about everyone. Yeah. And we're supposed to understand that like they could kill each other into an extinction here pretty soon,

unless peace is invoked. So there is a legendary negotiator, name of Riva, that they've petitioned the Federation to bring to them. They don't want any federation meddling in these peace negotiations, which I feel like is like, why would anybody think that the federation gives a fuck about your stupid planetary conflict? But I would so much rather have a federation mediator than ginger Jesus. So, but,

you know, Warf was a little nervous about this guy because we've been negotiating several treaties between the Klingons and the federation. Which it seems like a strange position for Warf to have given that he's a Klingon that lives and works in the Federation, but he does some pretty funny grumbling about how before him there was no Klingon word for peace maker.

I bet Riva introduced a lot of words into his language that they didn't have before, like his language that they didn't have before, like a wedge salad. Beige. Kacky pant. Yeah, what is the what is the name for the for the mustache hair that is like the center part of the lip that Klingons never grow. Oh, the Hitler stash part. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Riva has lots of that.

And I've never seen a Klingon with any. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I mean, so they, they beam down to Riva's planet to meet him. And it is like beaming onto a mega church. It, it's totally got mega church vibes. It's got big columns and stained glass and what have you. And what really ises the whole cake here is that Riva himself is wearing silken robes.

He's got that look about him that there was a buddy of mine when I was growing up and his parents had the oil painting of Jesus and his basement, with the eyes that seem to follow you around the room. Like Riva looks like an oil painting and I was really creeped out by him, to be honest. Ginger Jesus knows your secrets. I just feel like he looks into your soul. I just feel like you have to be real suspicious of a guy who, when you first enter his house, he comes out and silently nods at the three people there. And we should say it's Picard, Troy, and Worf.

Yeah. And then goes and stands on a podium, so that he's elevated above them, which is like, I would be like, all right, fuck you. Like, you can't negotiate shit. You are so fucking full of yourself. Yeah. If you're all about the cult of Riva at that point, like, how is anyone going to respect you enough to mutually work on a piece between each other? Like, that just doesn't make sense. Yeah. Maybe the way that he makes peace happen

between warring cultures is their mutual hatred of Riva himself. Like they'd be at a diplomatic meeting like God, this Riva guy's a huge dick, huh? And the guy's like, yeah, I know. Oh man, we're more alike than we thought. He finds that one small scrap of common ground that they have and builds on it.

Yeah, this guy really is a genius. So, so, so, so Riva is wordless when he first comes in and then three weirdos in white robes join him and we've got a another like oil painting looking person, which is a red-headed lady. And then we've got a guy who is, like, if it's possible, even more sexually magnetic than riker, with like a kind of like a gerry curl. And then a guy, like, and like. He's a sexual super magnet. Yeah. And yeah, super conducting sex.

The kind that kids aren't allowed to play with because if they swallow them, they'll just tear up their insides. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, the FDA was right to recall this guy. And then a guy in like a beret with kind of a chip on his shoulder. And these are Reva's chorus.

They represent by turns the unifying spirit, the sexual warrior aspect of his personality, and the artist poet aspect of his personality, which I got pretty jealous thinking about what it would be like if my personality had a sexual warrior aspect to it. I feel like I got to go back to the personality shop for an upgrade. It made me wonder, if the only way you can function in the world is to have a chorus, you know, profess all of these things on your behalf.

I mean, is sexual warrior guy like taking out your dick and putting it in people? Yeah. Like how much help does sexual warrior guy provide? I don't know. I mean, he's definitely shaking you off when you use the urinal. Boil it, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, So it is explained by Riva via his chorus that he is deaf and he has this telepathic link with his chorus where they hear his thoughts and interpret them into sounds and then

you know he receives the responses I guess mostly by lip reading but also through them the responses, I guess mostly by lip reading, but also through them. And this is like a normal situation for members of the ruling line of his planet, which appears to be humans, but I guess not, like they're somewhat telepathic. We don't get a clear explanation really. Yeah, he's on to Troy being telepathic early and and put in the moves on her often, I would say. Yeah, you can tell because his interactions with Troy are primarily using the dick valet. Yeah, yeah, everybody else claims up. And times like this, we become an incumbent. And Jerry Curl Dick Valle starts speaking.

Being with you here now is provoking an emotional revelation. Troy's like, how come this guy's the only one that talks to me? No, one point. How come this rando has an erection? And I mean, we're joking around here, but Troy seems down. I'd like that. No, yeah, the more she sees of Riva, the more down she is. It wouldn't be the first time that she's fooled around with several people in the room.

I mean, if you're in a relationship with Riker for any period of time, I think. He's going to take you on some adventures. He's gonna help you build some memories, like the low mileage pit woofer you are. He's gonna spin that odometer. So they beam up, they head onto the bridge. Picard introduces Riva around. Yeah, all seven of them get on the bridge. This is something that I put down on my notes

that was really interesting to me. Was, do you remember how small the Turbo Lift felt when it was just Wesley? A boy. And Picard. Yeah. A couple episodes ago. How do you cramp seven people on there?

I think that's why we don't get an interior shot. Much like a mini-cooper. The uh, the uh, the Turbo Lift can house more clowns than you think. Riva is very interested to meet Jordy in a way that I almost felt like he was gonna divert his sexual attention away from Troy and pour it into Jordy. Because Jordy's visor, Riva likens to his chorus and is really pleased that Jordy is not ashamed of his disability or in any way,

you know, doesn't feel in any way limited by it. Yeah, this is one of the many times in the episode we are told that everyone is special in their own way. You are special. It's a pretty clear theme throughout that I'm okay and you're okay. Yeah. Are you saying that Riva might as well just been passing out participation trophies? Yeah. Yeah, and that's what he's doing in touching everyone's chest as they as he meets them. Yeah, that's another form of introduction for him. He didn't do that to Troy though. I guess he's saving that for later. Yeah, I guess so Because at the end of this scene, he basically asks permission ask Picard's permission for Troy to escort him around the rest of the ship and Picard definitely like

you know, it's like a sexual predator to sexual predator. Picard kind of gives him a wink and is like, alright. I can't see it right over there, please. I see what you're trying to do and I like it. I fully respect this. Alright, so they get to this planet that has Salais V, the war planet, and they picked like a piece of high ground that they're going to beam down to. The aliens, the indigenous aliens that are at war with each other are immediately

pissed off because Picard Danes to radio them up rather than having Riva make the first contact. They're like, we don't want to talk to anybody that isn't Riva. And that impression was spout on by the way. Yeah, these are these might be the dumbest aliens that impression was spout on by the way. Yeah, these are, these might be the dumbest aliens that the series has to offer. They're like nothing but aerozots, Klingons. The way the actors were told to play them is like as sniveling, as as forangi, and as stupid as the stupidest Klingon. Like they're just so unimaginative as a species.

And they totally look like a rubber mask malfunction. Like it looks like they didn't want to throw out the first version of the Faringie face piece. Right. And so they decided to just recycle some of their melted plastic parts. Yeah, they said down like a Klingon mask next to the Kilden at Melton. They're like, oh shit!

Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's not just throw it away. Certainly, there's something we can do with these. Good enough for government money. Yeah, they look real gross. So, Riva beams down with, I think it's a, what is it? It's just Riker and Warf and Riva and his chorus. Yes.

And that's a big group. But they beam down to the top of this mountain and they're gonna set up like the conference table where these aliens are gonna sit down to negotiate this piece. Yeah, there's a fair amount of party planning in this scene, right? Like they're walking around with Riva

and he's like, hmm, let's stick the table there. Some teaky torches over here. And yeah, we gots to have some teaky torches on either side of this table. Yeah. Like we get a fair amount of storytelling about where we're going to set up this scene. You know, they haven't quite gotten to what the what the Cabana is going to look like because the aliens show up and you know they come from opposite sides onto the peak of this mountain. They got laser guns. Yeah they've got some pretty rad ray guns.

I have to say like if I if I was a collector of memorabilia I would be pretty happy to own either of the ray guns from this scene. Yeah. If you happen to have a a set or a of Star Trek cards, I think you'd be pretty tickled that one of the cards could be one of these ray guns and autographed ray gun cards. Oh yeah. For example, signed by the ray gun itself. Yeah. I heard the ray gun is going to be making appearances at Emerald City Comic Con next year. Oh, geez. I think the Reagan appearance could only happen at greatest Gen Con in Fresno, California.

You keep saying that, and it might actually happen at them, and that terrifies me. If we could only get enough sea list actors from the show, I think that'd be great. Like our panel would be hilarious. You think it's sort of like film financing, where you get the actors committed by saying that you have the financing in place

and you get the financing by saying you have the actors committed? Sure, it's a total scheme, pyramid scheme of sea list actors. It's the same way you get like two characters and a sit compact together, like you send the meetron note saying meet me here at this time.

Yeah, you sort of rev your actors, don't you? We should probably cut this out so that, uh, you know, Denise Crosby and, uh, and then don't, don't hear it and get wise to our scheme. Let me tell you something. There is no fucking way Denise Crosby will ever, a respond to us such a request or be actually go to greatest Gen Con. It's not gonna happen. She's too big anyway. Yeah. Like like she's

too big of a star. We're we're we're talking about the Argyles of the world here okay. We're talking about that that Helmsman that that bought it in the in the where silence has lease episode. That's right, yeah, yeah. Like, could you imagine just a two-hour panel with that guy? Oh, me. Talking about that scene. I would love that so much.

I have so many questions. My love is a piece of clothing to my back, which long enough has let me see. Tell me more, you're gonna go there. A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs,

to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it! The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share your embarrassment tour.

I'm Jordan Morris and I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open, just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry.

Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Whoa, Raph's hit. Hey, how long have I got to count you in line? These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short neck.

But I'm here and we need to get on this off. Gotta get on the arc. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different.

Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org.

So, these aliens show up and one of them has like a lackey. And the lackeys, like each, there's like two kind of like alpha aliens and then two beta aliens. And the like they eat, so the alphas each have a lackey who is like a little bit more stooped over and planted at the apesee. And one of them is like, no, fuck, piece, fuck, everything. Ah! So it's like blasted away with his ray gun. And wouldn't you know it?

He manages to score a single shot that takes the entire trio of chorus members out in one go. Yeah, and his ray gun is set to gore because the way these people die is, is, terrifically awful. Like, we haven't seen this much gore since conspiracy and or Nazis looking at the arc of the covenant.

Yeah, it's like all three bodies have been put into a giant microwave and then melted in two seconds. It was great, good effect. Good effect. The only downside of this effect is that they had them kind of, throw their hands up and despair and then froze them in one specific position

so they could match up to like digital skeletons that they confident. And it's a little bit of a silly pose that they meet their end in. You don't wanna go out like that. Not a dog. Especially when you're the dick valley. No.

So, Wharf and Riker, like leap into action, get Riva beamed back up onto the ship. And, you know. Yeah, they do that thing where, like, when a diplomat, where an attempted assassination has happened, where they, like, they actually surround you. Yeah, they, like, they do that thing where like when a diplomat, we're an attempted assassination has happened where they like, they actually surround you. Yeah, they like, they hug him close and then they beam him up.

Throw themselves in front of the bullets. And they beam him up just after the Alpha alien whose lackey, he has just killed, says, he doesn't represent what we wanted to do here. He's a traitor. Come back. That's a little bit Cosby to me. Yeah. You got to come back down here. Rudy, there's no proof that I did anything to anyone. I'm America's father, old. My, my, my Pachazmi is getting worse and worse as time goes on. I disagree entirely.

So I get back on the ship. Riva is pretty verclamped. Oh, he's pissed and you can tell he is because his hand gestures are spasmatic. And he's basically screaming with his hand. Yeah. He's made himself as incomprehensible, as he can possibly make himself. And I think that, you know, like before they beam down, there's a scene where he and Troy have a nice romantic dinner together and Cockvalley is asked to leave at a certain point.

So they just kind of have established like the most basic sign language communication between each other. Yeah, it's basically Riva making an okay sign with one hand and then like repeatedly pointing his the finger from his other hand through the O. Yes. And then flipping it around and poking it through the backside

to show that he'd be down for some butt stuff too. And Troy's doing that thing where she flicks her cheek and makes the bubble sound, which I can't do. But Cameron in Ferris Bueller's Day off. Yep. Yeah. They just descend into a seventh grade lunchroom situation. Well, unlike Cameron who is nearly catatonic at the end of Ferris Bueller's Day off,

Riva is rip shit pissed and doesn't care who knows about it. And they're like, they're kind of at an impasse because Riva can't conduct this piece negotiation because he can't communicate with anybody. You can't fuck without a cock valley. Right. Yeah. But Cardput's data on learning some sign language

so that he can potentially interpret for Riva. So there's a great scene where data gets on the computer and he's looking at the dirty hand-single, Kamasutra, for like, he puts it on accelerated speed the way he likes to and he learns all the tricks. And then they have some scenes with Riva where data is interpreting for him. And I think these are pretty great scenes because RIVA where data is interpreting for them. I think these are like pretty great scenes because RIVA is making the argument that data cannot

convey the kind of emotional nuance of language by interpreting for them. And data is kind of like forced to convey this message as, you know, and data is such a great character for this because he takes everything at face value and doesn't like take anything personally, but at the same time he's like sort of being forced to communicate his own limitations on behalf of somebody else. Yeah, yeah. It'd be like if Dr. Polaski wrote up a manifesto

and data had to read it out loud. Yeah, that'd be really embarrassing. Yeah. Not as embarrassing as having a Star Trek podcast at him. My name is Mr. Data. I am an idiot. I don't know anything about humanity.

I am terrible at being on the holodeck. My asshole friend, Jordy, almost got the ship blown up by Moriarty. Dr. Polasky is a great doctor. And very easy on the eyes given her advanced age. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Dr. Polasky could be sexually active if she wants to be. She just doesn't want to be. It's not that she doesn't want to be a sexual icon. It's that she chooses not to be. So in a very short amount of time, data knows sign language. Yeah. So they meet up with Riva in the conference room to prove this.

Riva is like going through all the stages of grieving and kind of an accelerated rate, but he is, you know, he's not at acceptance mode yet. Because data shows off all his fancy signs and Riva's like, no, fuck that. Like, I just watched my entire chorus get killed. I'm not really interested in doing this diplomacy anymore. I'd actually like to go home. Like, can you just take me home?

Yeah, I want my mama. Yeah, he's real sad. He's super sad. And then Troy kind of whoops his ass. She's like, hey, listen, like, you know, she goes into his quarters and says, like, I'm going to make a pass at trying to get these aliens to stop lasering each other to death. And I just want some like some pro tips. Like, give me, give me like the, the top five hot tips of a intergalactic negotiator.

And Riva is like, you know, there's not like a trick. It's fucking hard work. And it's hard work because you have to get people communicating. You have to get them to find a small piece of common ground and start communicating with each other about that, really listening to each other. Do you think Riva's so pissed? Because like it stated earlier on in the episode,

he has never not made peace between two-waring factions. Like he has a perfect record for being a diplomat and he lost his first one. Troy is like, it happens to everyone, man. Right. You gotta get back in the game. Do you think that's the main issue? Is that like his pride has hurt? Or is it actually that he's grieving his dead chorus? I don't know, I sort of felt like there were two different things that play here.

Well, it's a bit of both. I mean, like, he's not doing the show must go on type of type of math here. He's like he's not hearing George Zips encouragement is my excuse me doc. I've got a plane to land before going back out and and winning the big game. No yeah. He's just he's filled real sorry for himself he doesn doesn't, you know, he's in a totally new other two percenter right there. Yeah, yeah. I think every episode of this show, we make one joke that only three listeners will understand. You've won a contest if you get that reference. He sort of tries to kick her out by saying, like, listen, like this, this is a game of turning weaknesses into strengths. And it's just, it's not for the faint of heart. And she, she goes,

Hey, why don't you got a weakness right now? Why can't you turn that into a strength? She's like, I've been turning soft into hard forever. You forget who you're talking to. I know from weakness. I know from strength. And he starts like, you know, nodding. He's like, oh, shit. That's kind of interesting. He's starting to hear the Notre Dame fight song in his head. Yeah.

All right. I can do this. Oh, word. And that kind of, that inspires him to go back down. And so he beams down to the planet. And they replicate the triangle table and the teaky torches that they are trying to get ready for this other party. And this is a new location for this summit though. I don't know if you notice this, but when they

first transported down, they've returned to anybody Canyon. Anybody! The Canyon where Riker walks off to the ledge and screams anybody. I was, I definitely felt like it was a similar, similar set. You're thinking it's the exact same set. I'm thinking it's exactly the same. It's a different color psych and like just a different sort of color scheme to the whole thing. They've graded the rocks a little differently. But it's anybody can, yeah. Yeah, we should say that this is like,

we've fallen back off the wagon when it comes to exterior sets. It's just another fucking dusty gray Styrofoam planet. They once again just sort of set up the scene with a table and a teaky torch. And they sort of, this time they radio up to Jordy to like get stuff sent down sort of like this time they radio up to Jordy to get stuff sent down, sort of like Jordy's working at a pure one. Can you just send down some wicker baskets and a triangular table and a couple of teaky

torches, and sure enough the table set. And that's sort of like the end of the episode, right? The table set, Rivas, I'll take it from here, guys. And Troy and War, Finne, Ryker, being back up. I am a cute and sub-or. There are four lights. We've skipped over one scene because it really has nothing to do with the plot, but that is, in fact,

the end of the episode. This one scene we've skipped over is Jordi takes a visit to Sick Bay and talks to Polesky about his visor and having it replaced with ocular implants. She's saying like, you know, we can put in ocular implants that look like eyes, but they're in fact mechanical.

You'll lose about 20% of what the visor is giving you as far as like as far as visual information. The other thing we could do is regenerate your optic nerves and replicate you some brand new eyes and we'll just pop those right in. And he's like, that's not possible. Like, as far as I know, and she goes, I've done it twice. I know what I'm talking about. And Jordi is kind of confronted with this crazy choice of like, you know, going to a natural set of eyes and losing this amazing advantage

that the advisor gives him. If I'm remembering correctly, I feel like he decides he doesn't really reveal what his decision is going to be. Like the scene sort of leaves it as this is something that Jordi's going to have to have to meditate on. I think this is the first time that we're introduced to that tension with him because up until now, I never got the idea that Jordy wanted to be free from the visor or wanted to be, wanted to have human eyesight or whatever. His interaction with armus was shitty because his glasses were knocked off of his head and he was temporarily blinded.

Like, they're, they're a drawbacks to his way of living. But in the same way that data always expresses that he wants to be more human, you don't really, I haven't up to this point really gotten that read off of Jority that he's like, God, this Pfizer sucks. Like, I would love to be out of this thing, but this is the first time he's actually given that choice. Yeah, so it was an interesting scene, but it doesn't really go anywhere. It doesn't really have any bearing on the episode and doesn't wind up being its own plot

It's just kind of like dropped in at the end of the toward the end of the episode like I feel like they just needed some time to pass and they're like, yeah, I don't know You know we're talking about disability here like let's let's drop this in It's also the first time that I think we are to understand that Palazki is anything more than just a total asshole. Like, she demonstrates some competency. Some compassion. Like, she's a special thing. Medically, yeah, she shows some compassion for someone else, anyone else.

Like, this is sort of a turn for her too. Yeah, that's a great point, Adam. As you were watching the episode, did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? Drunk Shimoda! I sure did, Adam. Drunk Shimoda is our award for a character doing something funny or ridiculous, much like Jim Shimoda, our favorite character from episode two of the series. I'm giving Picard the Drunk Shemota award for this episode. Right at the

beginning of the episode, Picard gets on the Turbo left with Commander Riker and he's heading for the transport room to go pick up Riva and Riker's like, I'm not in love with the fact that you're going on this away mission and Picard says, Clock, clock, clock number one. Sir, you're being a mother hen. I just thought that that was such a funny way of putting the role that Riker plays with keeping Picard off of away missions, that I just couldn't help but award Picard the Drunk Shem motor for that.

He's clearly more of a rooster that riker. For me, I couldn't stop thinking about the whole idea of a chorus for this guy, Riva. Could you imagine interviewing for that job? Look, we have three positions open. Why don't you just tell me a little bit about yourself? And we will tell you, like, which element of the course you'd be best at. So I imagine they, like, they hire, they hire the philosopher first, because that's probably a pretty easy demonstration of, like, you know, learn it intelligence and, like, in in a in a beret sure yeah like that's that one seems

Most easy to be discerned like like from probably even a paper application Yeah, you could you could use a multiple choice test to find that that person or like a resume like yeah This guy is this guy's great. He's gonna be our smart guy and the woman She plays she plays sort of the emotional tension, like the idea of maybe she's the form that all three of them take in one. Like, she's sort of the glue that holds the emotional and the intellectual together. And that leaves the cock valley. Like, what are you, what are you told if you're interviewing for that job? I feel like that guy is cast on Luke's alone. Like if you're him, you're like, so tell me a little bit more about this job I'm applying for. All it said was chorus.

And I imagine Riva or someone doing the interview in Riva's stead is like, well, the position we're applying for involves touching a lot of penis. And at all times, you must just seduce whoever Riva finds attractive. Like, and he got that job. Yeah. To me. And kept that job. Yeah.

Yeah. He's had it for a long time clearly. Clearly he is very close to Riva. And for me, Dick Vet and become Drunk Shimoda because he's as Dick Vallet. Like, the very idea of that is ridiculous to me. That's what Drunk Shimoda. Good one.

I feel like I retract mind in support of yours. Dick Vallet, job interview. I am the cutest aboard. You will respond to my heh. I am the cutest aboard. You will respond to my questions. I am the cutest aboard. You are bored. What do we have coming up on the next episode? The next episode is,

Episode 6 of Season 2, The Skitzoid Man, a brilliant, but terminally ill scientist seeks eternal life by transferring his mind into data's body. Do you remember this one Adam? Not at all. I feel like this is another plot vehicle where data is not who he seems to be. I feel like we had that in the last season, so I'll be curious to see how they make this

at all a different episode. They don't seem to learn anything. Whenever data poses a threat to the crew, they don't change how they treat data at all. They sort of, I feel like they should give them a shock collar of some kind. Like, if he ever gets out of line, like it just cuts his head off for something.

Yeah, it'd be nice. Well, maybe we'll learn a little bit more about that on the next episode. Let's hope that we do. If you ever want to talk about this episode or any other, you can reach out to us on Twitter using the hashtag greatest gen. You can also find me and Ben there. I'm at Cut for Time and he's at Benjamin R, a HR. We should thank dark materia for our theme music. And we should also say go to

www.gach.biz for today's episode and all other episodes. You can also email us at drunkshamoda.gmail.com. Yeah, we've been getting a lot of fun emails lately, so thanks for that. Yeah, thanks for emailing us. I think that just about wraps it up in. That episode was kind of creepy as hell to me. Yeah, it was a creepy episode at them. Hopefully the next one is less so, but I don't have a ton of hope for that. There's a baseline level of creepiness that I feel like we're getting throughout season

two so far. It's nice. Yeah, much creepier show than season one. Yeah. Well, with that, we'll be back at you next week in another great episode of Star Trek, the Next Generation, and another episode of the greatest generation, also.

Yeah, see you then. Bye. Make it sound. Make it sound. Make it sound. Maximumfund.org Maximumfund.org.