The Greatest Generation - Double Dong Window (ENT S1E14)

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

When the Entrepreneur finds an alien ship sinking into a gas giant,  the away team gets trapped in its gravity well due mostly to Captain Archer’s general thirstiness. But when his white knight routine doesn’t work out (again), finally doing his Klingon homework gives him the upper hand. Which is the only black void on the NX-01? What gets Porthos off? Where are all the brass instruments? It’s the episode that’s misophones vs. everybody.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

Want to go to a live Greatest Genshow? Today we're announcing three shows we have planned for this year. You already know about the London Podcast Festival, where we're appearing on September 14th, but we can now reveal that this show is going to be our second contact review of the TNG episode, The Survivors. This is private property. Who are you people? Not horny enough for you?

On October 3rd, we'll be performing our first ever show in Madison, Wisconsin. And we're going to be returning to the classic TNG episode, Sub Rosa. Frankly, I'm envious. Not gross enough for you? Then come to Los Angeles on November 2nd and see our live show about TNG's nastiest episode of all, Conspiracy. Oh do eat up Picard. Tickets for the non-London shows go on sale Friday, August 16th,

and the London show is getting pretty close to selling out. So get your tickets now at greatestgen tour.com and get your P1 messages too. All that stuff goes on sale on Friday, August 16th. That's greatestgentour.com for all ticketing information. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the song.

Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranica. There's a thing on the Game of Buttholes, the Will of the Riker Quantum Leap, that forces us to do shots of alcohol. Sure. Is it six shots of alcohol in honor of the Riker, Quantum Leap, that forces us to do shots of alcohol. Sure. Is it six shots of alcohol in honor of the Zindi War?

Oh yeah, a war I'm unfamiliar with, an amount of shots I'm unfamiliar with really, you'd have to go back to college for me. Yeah, same. I don't think I've ever done that before. I don't think it's advisable. This is not a Marin that's on that game, but maybe it should be. Cause I have in front of me and I believe you do too, six ice cream mugs with

little scoops of ice cream in them. Oh, you did the assignment differently for me, Ben. Okay. I have all six pints. Oh man. And I've put them on my special 10 forward tray that you and I were able to sneak out of the CBS event. Yeah.

Back when they did the 10 forward event in Los Angeles. Ben, we're doing this because Kevin from Cincy and FOD sent us a Greeter's Ice Cream gift certificate back in a code 47. Yeah, this was episode 525 of this very show and a very generous gift certificate. Neither of us, I think, had ever heard of Greeter's Ice Cream, but in an effort to lure us to, was it the Buckeye State? Is that what Ohio is? It is. Kevin sent us these gift certificates to try one of their favorite local treats.

And in so doing has kicked off a brand new segment, Ben. Would you like to know what it is? I'm dying to know this. I think people have known for a long time that maybe even more than being Star Trek and comedy people, we're really food people at heart, aren't we? They love our food reviews, they love our food opinions, they love our food stories.

So why don't we give the people what they want? A real true blue food segment that I think is gonna be the next smash hit segment on our show. And I'm calling it Gach or Patach! Delicious. There's only two ways to review the food that we enjoy on a Greatest Gen episode, Ben. It's good. Good like Gach, like Klingon's love.

A delicacy. Or you wouldn't feed it to a patach. Right, right. Should we go down the line? How do you wanna structure this? Because I think we're probably not gonna have six of the same flavors. I'm just now noticing something that I did

with my ice cream arrangement. I have unfortunately arranged them into two sections, light and dark. You got a little bit of a ice cream segregation situation happening there. I do. You didn't mean to. This was an implicit bias thing. I mean.

This is why Uxbridge Shimoda, and I say this in every meeting, needs a DEI program and you always fight back against it. I do, yeah, yeah. I see we have a long way to go. On the top line, Ben, we've got a peach, banana, and birthday cake. Okay. And then on the bottom line,

I've got mint chocolate chip, black raspberry, which I was told was like the main greeters flavor. Like you got to get the black raspberry. That's their special thing. And then finally, Buckeye Blitz. Wow. We have very few points of overlap.

Oh, that's great. What'd you get? So I did get the birthday cake and I did get the black raspberry. And I also got peanut butter chocolate chip. I got bourbon pecan. I got strawberry and I got s'mores. And this ice cream company claims that what sets their product apart is the French pot that they put in it. And uh... I knew you'd love the fucking French... The French Pots is how you make the best ice cream! J'aime bien smoke balls avec mes amis and get super baked!

Come on, les boulangeries! Baked like a baguette, sticking out of the top of the basket in front of my own bicyclette! Do we have pints in France? I do not know. Oh, they invented the metric system. So they probably sell it by the leader or something. Oh, sure. Yeah.

Ben, did you say you got banana? I didn't, and I- I thought for sure we'd get overlap there. You're a banana man. When you said banana out loud, the room turned sideways for me because I did not see banana available on the website when I made my order. And maybe that was a time of order issue for me

or something. But yeah, I am dismayed that I'm not trying the banana because that is my favorite flavor of ice cream. Well, let's try our ones that we are overlapped on first. I think that might be a good way to start. And those would be black raspberry and what was the other? And birthday cake. Ben, let's just start with the thing

that's supposed to be the best. Let's start with the big one. Yeah, black raspberry. Oh boy, look at that darkness. Yeah, the color is amazing. The flavor is amazing. I'm dealing with some meltiness here because I didn't take huge scoops. So am I.

It is a hot ass day in LA. Yeah, but I like what I'm tasting a lot. I love the chocolate that's in the chunks like this. Not little shavings. You'll get that sometimes in a Breyers. These are like uneven chunks that are like chocolate chip size and smaller for the most part, and they're very rich, which is something that like, I feel like sometimes when chocolate gets cold, you don't get as much chocolateiness

out of it, but this is good. And I'm also not normally a berries and chocolate person. I like berry flavors and I like chocolate flavors, but I tend to. You want to keep them separate, don't you? Yeah, yeah. That's my bias. As if separation is kind of a natural equilibrium

that you prefer, right? Yeah. I guess I'll need to be attending our DEI program as well, Adam. My wife is a maniac because whenever we get pints of ice cream, you can tell she's been in them because she makes a perfectly flattened layer of ice cream. She like skims some off and then runs the Zamboni

around the surface. I think it's too obscure that she's been in there. Like you can't tell really how much has been eaten if you're constantly flattening the layer. Right. Yeah. What you need to do is take a food safe equivalent of a Sharpie and make a little line to keep track of where things have been.

I got you bartender for your freezer so you can tell if your wife is stealing ice cream from you. Many people's wives like to hide the amount of ice cream they eat from their husbands. Body shame is a societal issue that is thrust upon women. So often they conceal their consumption of rich foods such as ice cream and alcohol. Ben, I just ripped off the top of 150th birthday cake and I'm holding this up to the camera

for our viewers at home. Just a totally festive, like fun, fetty type of look to it. Yeah, but they're not jimmies. They're like, I thought maybe I was looking at like fruity pebbles when I first opened this because the flecks of the sprinkles are big but I think they're like white chocolate or something like that like busted up in a similar way to what they're doing with the chocolate chunks in the black

raspberry. I gotta say I might like this one better than black raspberry it's so fucking good. There's also cake in here. What? I haven't gotten to cake. There's like little bites of sponge cake in this ice cream. Wonderful. I'm returning all these pints to the freezer with gouges out of them. My wife's going to murder me. She's going to know who took ice cream

and how much that person took. The Miso phones are going to leave a lot of one star reviews on this episode. So if you don't have that probably real affliction, please help us out with a five-star review. They're not gonna do that. They've found something else to be grouchy about. Okay, I'm moving on to peanut butter chocolate chip, a real crowd pleaser flavor. Oh, you know, I've got a peanut butter adjacent pint here.

A Buckeye Blitz is chocolate peanut butter ice cream, peanut butter cookie dough, and our signature dark chocolate chips. Dang. Wow. That sounds. Here's how that one looks. Oh, that's a beautiful color.

So mine was like peanut butter color ice cream and peanut butter flavor ice cream. And then I would say milk chocolate chunks and bigger, bigger chocolate chunks than, uh, than what we've gotten so far. You know how peanut butter tastes different from candy peanut butter? This tastes less like candy peanut butter, but like a richer, real peanut butter flavor. It's good. All right, I'm moving to bourbon pecan.

God, this one's great. It's so chunky. How much bourbon flavor do you expect in a bourbon pecan ice cream, Adam? A rum raisin amount of bourbon. I would say this is making me worried I might get drunk eating it. It is so bourbon- I would say this is making me worried I might get drunk eating it. It is so bourbon-y.

Whoa. It's like distinctly bourbon-y in a very interesting way. I'm not sure I would like that. Is that refreshing the way you want an ice cream to be? Here's what I'll say. I'm not a whiskey man.

People know this about me. You are a whiskey man though. This ice cream is helping me see what people enjoy about bourbon. Ben, I'm getting into mint chocolate chip. Oh. They have decided not to go with the toothpaste food coloring version of mint ice cream, which I appreciate. I'm not against that. I gotta say, this is my favorite flavor of ice cream just generally.

If there's a mint chocolate chip at the ice cream shop, this is what I'm gonna get most of the time. I absolutely love mint chocolate chip. I don't get it as often just because it's like not that compatible with banana. And if there's a banana, I'm getting that and maybe like a scoop of something else. But my wife cannot stand mint chocolate chip.

So we rarely have it in the house. Well, she does hate the things that you love most of the time. That tends to be the case. All right. Bite a strawberry here. I'm also going for the fruit pint, mine being peach. And it has gone so soft in just the couple of minutes they've been out. Holy moly.

The strawberries, exactly what you would expect. It compares very favorably to like the Dreyer's or Edie's strawberry, but the cream is creamier and richer. I can't tell if this pint is softer because just the plain, you know, peach and vanilla ice cream is a softer, smoother one, or if it's just the melt factor. Yeah. But these are all the things I love about a peach pie. Just nice cinnamon, vanilla, peaches,

really simple, really good. Because these are denser pints of ice cream. They're like the Ben and Jerry's level of density, not the Tillamook or Dreyer's slash Edie's slash Breyer's density. Last one is banana and it's banana chocolate chip. Oh, I'm ordering some. We should say that there has been a uniformity of chocolate chips. Like when we mentioned chocolate chips, they're all going to be the kind from

like the black raspberry chocolate chip, which is like a bar of chocolate run through with a knife that kind of lack of uniformity. My last one was the s'mores full like mini marshmallows in there not like a marshmallow fluff swirl but like actual mini marshmallows jet-puffed. I think it was like a graham cracker tasting ice cream and then chunks of chocolate and also like bigger chunks of chocolate than most of the others. All in all, I'm gonna say gah to every single one of these.

Delicious. The one that I would give a soft gah to, might virgin to patah for some people, is that bourbon pecan because it is such a swing. It's such a big bourboniness to it. And like, I think if you gave that to a kid, for example, they'd be like, what the fuck is this? Like, do not want.

That kid would become immediately cool. Like the coolest kid at school. Yeah, that kid would fuck Stiffler's mom. Mom? Oh, hey Stiffler. I think you're right Ben, I think they're all gah. And if I were to try to put them in any kind of order, I might go birthday cake,

Buckeye Blitz, black raspberry, tie between peach and banana. And I would put mint last, only because it is a great mint chocolate chip. But like the others are... The others seem special and more difficult... Totally.

...to make well, and so that's why I'd give them the nod. Just all bangers here, though. I kind of felt like that about the strawberry. Like, it's a very good strawberry, but it's like done as well as lots of other strawberry ice cream that I've had. Tonight, when you go into the freezer for a couple of spoons, what's the one you're grabbing for? Like the reflex. I think I might get that birthday cake because it was such a novelty to me.

Like that's, I know that like birthday cake is like kind of a flavor du jour and it's like a very popular thing in a lot of places, but it hasn't really come across my transom a ton. And I really enjoyed that execution of it and I want more. I really enjoyed this hit segment made possible by Kevin from Sincy. Yeah, sponsored by Kevin. Yeah, pretty awesome stuff. Promotional consideration provided by Kevin. A really generous gift also, we wanted to say.

And I don't know, now that I have a stomach full of six different kinds of ice cream, I'm ready to go to sleep, but I can't do it quite yet. Ben, first we've got to do Star Trek Enterprise Season One, Episode 14, Sleeping Dogs. It's going to be like the time they pumped Rod Stewart's stomach. And they found six pints of banana ice cream in there. Our cold open is in the armory and the more I think about it, the more I believe this is a terrible place to do combat training with a phaser, right? Yeah, I mean, they say that they're shooting like non-live ammunition at one point, but like, what ammunition?

That's what they said on the film set of The Crow also. Okay, my bad. Shut it down. Yeah, they sure did. And other film sets. Yeah. I mean, you really appreciate that the D has its own room for this after this scene. Yeah, I mean, one of the reasons for that being that it's enormous on the D.

Like when you're shooting at the little target, the target can go all sorts of places. This armory room doesn't look much bigger than a storage area, you know? They don't have that big of sets on this show. And I guess, I mean, the target practice place on the D was just a black void, but it would be hard to believe that they had black void anywhere on the NXO1 entrepreneur.

It just doesn't seem like that big of a ship. I think the only black void available on Enterprise right now is Jonathan Archer's sense of command. His grasp of leadership, if you will. his grasp of leadership, if you will. Sub 50% hit to miss ratio for Hoshi. She is not adapting to the new phase pistols very well. She doesn't even do good enough to enter her three letter thing into the game at the end. Yeah, she's never gonna see the kill screen.

Nope. She's like adapted to like an older style of, uh, energy weapon that works on a different principle, apparently. So Reed is kind of like trying to give her some pointers on how to do a little bit better on our next go round. Just point straight at the target. He's coughing. He's got a little, he got a little frog in his throat.

Didn't you want the takeaway from this? That Hoshi was just going to be old school and she was going to be the one that uses the old model phaser going forward. And that was going to make her distinct from everyone else when you go on an away team together. She's going to be like dirty Harry and carry some like crazy gun that

everybody else is like, whoa. That's what I was hoping for. That's not the case here. Yeah. You get what you get. I did really like the closeup on the gun itself. Like that prop is super like meticulously made, like where the, when you put the little battery pack in, the light turns on and you can crack it open

and take the ammo out and stuff, like really neat. Yeah, yeah, I like it. It's a good prop. So they get a little banger and we learn that they've pulled into orbit around a gas giant and that is our great big suspenseful break into the opening credits. You get the sense that on the D it was very special

if you could feel the ship drop out a warp. Like, oh, whoa, you really, you really feel the ship in a special way. But on this version of Enterprise, it's like a subway pulling into its stop. Like you really get jostled a bit. It would be funny if the set design had involved a lot of straps around so people could hang on.

That would be great. Enterprise is pulled up on a gas giant, an enormous gas giant. Yeah, and when we come back from theme, they're probing it, shooting probes into it, and we get to hear what the inside of a gas giant sounds like. Siren calls. Haunted as hell.

Yeah. Scary to Mayweather. Yeah. They could have had any sound here. Like, could you imagine if, like, Hoshi held a hand up to a headphone and it was this? It sounds very strange. Right, or if she was like, sorry I can't quite make it out let me turn this up and she like turned something and it's this.

Yeah, but as it is, it's just a Siren song like bit of screaming is how it's described. And Mayweather's familiar. I thought it was a little creepy that Mayweather was familiar with this amount and volume of screaming. You've heard this before, kind of a lot. What's going on there, Mayweather? Well, we learned that those like long haul freighter people are really into fucking mid voyage. So, like Mayweather just by that reputation alone has to be like the number one stick man on the ship, right? Every ship's got one.

Look, man, I think you and I are gonna have to do a lot of character development at Mayweather from this point forward, okay? So whenever you see something on the shelf, it's time to throw it at Mayweather. It's like being back in the womb. Who are you? In it at Mayweather. It's like being back in the womb. Who are you? Ensign Travis Mayweather.

Parents must be very proud. When I was a kid we called it the sweet spot. Who are you? I'm the helmsman. I guess growing up a boomer has its advantages. And your mom? Very proud. That's true.

It takes practice. Other than keeping Ensign Mayweather up at night, I'm not sure what we expect to accomplish here. So they also pick up an anomalous power signature and biosigns! We've got a ship. The screams are not coming from the ship. This much we're certain of, right? Yeah, that would make that place a tomb, and that's not what this episode is about. Yeah. Yeah, that would make that place a tomb, and that's not what this episode is about. We cut down to Six Bay, where Rhinovirus Reed is doing that old man complaint of,

we can put someone on the moon, but we can't cure this. And Phlox is saying that humans have it really easy when it comes to what their colds look like. This is a scene basically about like Reed saying he's gonna have to power through this cold to go on this away mission. He's not gonna take a couple of days off work for this or anyone.

Hey, Dr. Flax, do you have anything in any of those leeches you like to keep around as pets for this? Like test something out on me. I was waiting for anything like that to happen in this scene. Nope. You got it. You're stuck with it. Try to endure. If you can't get any bed rest, and that's what we learned here, like, you don't get sick days on Enterprise. Yeah. It's too bad. Yeah. We cut over to Archer's room where Hoshi tells him that they might need a translator

on this mission and Archer is the sort of captain, and I'm sure you've encountered this type of manager before, that just wants the request spelled out explicitly, like drawing it out of her for this unnecessary reason. Oh, I hated Archer in this scene. Yeah. Are you trying to tell me something? Maker asked for it directly so that he can then be the big man and be like, actually, you've already been added

to the roster for that away team. You'd better get to the launch bay before they leave without you. Aye, sir. Shut up, Archer. It doesn't make him look cool or good or folksy. It kind of makes him look mean. What does he get out of this?

Like it just takes more time and it's like more humiliating for Hoshi. I mean, the frame isn't wide enough to know if it's sexual gratification or not, but maybe that's all it is. Hey, Archer, is this your idea of sex? Maybe it's sexual gratification for porthos. The camera pans over and porthos is like, yeah.

Yuck. Yeah, I don't like this. But in the mud room, we learn that Hoshi is attached onto Paul's request and Reed and them pull on their EV suits and board the shuttle pod down, where they notice the sink rate of the ship gives them about an hour of time to do their rescue business before they reach a kind of crush depth that you might be familiar with in a submarine film. Right, and that's crush depth for the shuttle, crucially.

We don't know anything about crush depth for the ship yet, but they get aboard and the first thing they do is analyze the atmosphere. And they're like, yeah, this is like, there's a little extra carbon dioxide, but this is human and Vulcan breathable. Let's go for it. Reed takes off his mask first.

Like, maybe just keep him on. Why not, you know? This seems unnecessary, but it does give us our first scene in a long, long time of react to smell, which is something that I know we've wanted for quite a while. More of this. Perhaps we should leave the helmets on. What is it?

You can't smell that? No. I was wishing when they took their helmets off, they became aware of the chain clanking sounds. Yeah. That doesn't happen. Does the inside of that helmet smell like your mouth though?

I mean. It has to, right? Yeah, I guess you probably don't wanna have a bunch of cheese before your away mission or whatever. Yeah. Or ice cream for that matter. Yeah, they go ahead and leave them off, even with the smell. Yeah. Or ice cream for that matter. Yeah, they go ahead and leave them off, even with the smell.

Yeah. Hoshi sees Klingon writing on a panel and that gets them all to take out their brand new dustbusters from this point on. They don't take the helmets all the way off at this point. And like, I was like, the, the way the mask comes up, there's something like kind of

right in your field of view with it just like a jar the way it is. It's like if you're too tall to drive a convertible, you're just like seeing, seeing the roof. Yeah. It's like the windshield. If you're worried about these Klingons and

needing to bullseye them, like I would either put the helmet back down or take it all the way off, but this seems bad. They make their way to the bridge of this ship and they find a mix of dead and alive. This place isn't entirely a tomb. Right. Right. It's half tomb, maybe. Are they going to leave or not at this point? T'Pol is aware of Klingon customs. She makes it clear that these folks don't want to be disturbed. They're either dead or on their way to dead, and that means they're on their way to Stovacor, and that's a place they want to go.

Attempting to rescue these nearly dead Klingons is only going to piss them off from an honor perspective. And this is why DEI programs exist. This is why they have them on the Vulcan, Starfleet or whatever. And why Reed is decidedly misunderstanding the situation when he's arguing for not letting them die. He has no cultural context to make that decision. ["There You Salted Long"]

There you salt salty long. No one listens to T'Pol ever, including now. And as we think about that fact, we cut away quickly to the mess hall where there is a living Klingon woman there, and it seems like she's about to be a problem. Yeah, she does not have a boob window. We lost a lot of money. We bet a lot of the company coffers on a boob window in this episode.

Like, she has a plunging enough neckline that if there had just been like one strap of fabric, we would have had boob window continuity. And we don't. We don't get it. I bet you know the answer to this question. You're a real smart guy. Like, before windows in human settlements, human society, were there just holes

in the mud huts or whatever? Like, this seems to me to be the comparison, right? This is an ancient Klingon civilization pre-window, if you will. So what do we got? We just got a plunging neckline, much like the ancient humans, the cave people, might you will. So what do we got? We just got a plunging neckline, much like the ancient humans, the cave people might've had. Just open holes. Before they could make glass, this is what

they had. Yeah. That's what I think is going on here. I think that's a charitable read. Anyways, yeah, she's been hiding out in the galley of this Klingon ship and starts to sneak around. We learned a little bit more about what happened to these Klingons. There's a lot of alive Klingons that are not conscious aboard this ship. Not a lot of moaning though. No. You know?

There's a neurotoxin affecting them and they assume that this was atmospheric and that it has dissipated enough that it's not affecting the away team, but they got to start making choices. They're in communication with Archer about this. They have about 30 minutes left before they hit crush depth. He gives them 20 to see if they can help these Klingons out before they have to get back to the ship. Don't you love the argument here? The away team's like, well, that's not really enough time and are just like, you could do something interesting in 20 minutes, right? And

honestly, no. Like that's what the answer is. That is not enough time to do anything. So they are kind of debating what to do with their time. They are being overheard by this Klingon lady. Not clear if she can understand what they're saying at this point or not, but she goes off down some hallway and makes a noise and Malcolm Reed goes alone to look into what this noise is, gets his ass jumped, and they get carjacked.

What's that? It's a shuttle pod taking off. Grand Theft Cargo Pod. Never thought I'd see it. It is a moment that suggests that Klingons are smarter than humans, right? Because so much of this episode has to do with, oh, I just can't read what these screens say, and I don't know what this station does on the bridge. On and on, the humans are just totally unable to figure out how to operate this Klingon ship.

This lady walks right onto a shuttle pod, hits a couple buttons, and she is out. They clock the shuttle coming out of the atmosphere of this planet on board the bridge of the entrepreneur and they're like, oh, like what, it looks like they're coming back early. Okay. Wait, where are they headed? Because they're not headed toward us.

Tripp picks up a signal, unfortunately no linguist aboard to interpret what the shuttle pod operator is saying into the radio because she's saying it in Klingon. He finally gets their universal translator patched into the radio and this Klingon lady is totally lying on them. She's saying that the Enterprise is the one that neurotoxin to them and she's like summoning more Klingon ships to help attack these treacherous humans? Ben, we got to believe all Klingon ladies at this point. Just straight up top.

Yeah. But hashtag not all entrepreneurs. Yeah. I mean, what are you going to do? I love the idea that this non-warp capable shuttle pod is making for open space. I don't really get what her plan is other than getting the word out that her ship was attacked and it doesn't take very long before Archer orders the grapplers set upon the shuttle pod and they got it and they pull it into the launch bay.

I thought the little CG sequence of grappling the shuttle looked great. Like the way the ship kind of comes in on the side angle, like a knife. This could look so stupid. Yeah. It does not, to their credit. Yeah, it looked good. So we get a little firefight in the launch bay.

Like everybody goes down to see who they've caught on their line and she takes a couple of hits before she's stunned and out. She kicks a lot of ass, but like no one's gonna be able to take several phaser shots. Yeah. And that's what ends up taking her down at the end. And so Archer gets on the radio to Mayweather and he's like, all right,

I'm gonna get right back in this shuttle and go down and fetch the away team. And Mayweather's like, no can do cap. They're down below the rated depth of that shuttle. And without much hesitation, he's like, okay, polarized hull plating. We're taking the entire ship in there. Kind of a weird moment here when Tripp says no cap. Yeah. What are you a zoomer? Incredibly prescient. I'm from the generation where cap meant insult.

When you were like capping on your friend, you were, you were busting his chops. It wasn't a lie. It was the truth. On the Klingon ship, they begin to come to terms with their situation, right? Without any escape pods, there are no escape pods. Outside the escape pod door, a spatial frontier.

Nothing can survive on the surface. I thought this was a great detail. I never really thought about it, but yeah, like why would Klingons put escape pods on their ships? Why waste the space and weight, you know? Yeah. So, T'Pol is like, listen, we're cooked here if we're being honest with ourselves. So, the only real solution is to try and get the ship fired up and take it into orbit under its own power.

And I was a little surprised at how, like like reluctant Hoshi and Reed were to do this. I mean, I guess they don't ever take what T'Pol says as a good idea, but like, that's the point. What other ideas are there? Yeah. Absent anything else, I don't quite understand the resistance here. Especially as the bangers start to get dropped. Like they're really punctuating the danger here with these as the bangers start to get dropped. They're really punctuating

the danger here with these bangers. Yeah. So crush depth for the Klingon ship is considerably lower, it seems, but they're headed in that direction. So they start looking around the bridge and T'Pol's like, Hoshi, you speak Klingon. find something that says helm or controls or something like that. And Hoshi starts looking around, she finds the guns first. Something they call photon torpedoes.

Photon torpedoes? Never heard of anything like that. And then T'Pol finds the helm. She's like, this must be the helm right here. And Hoshi says, yeah, that says helm. And Reed's like, nice work, Hoshi. Ha ha ha. Everyone hates to Paul. It's so savage.

Except she can take it. She doesn't give a shit that everyone hates her. Reed starts hitting buttons and sitting down at the station and nothing really happens at the Helm station. And that's when they get an incoming radio call from Archer to say that, hey, Enterprise is coming to get you. Sit tight.

We've got grapplers. You're going to be okay. But an ominous moment happens here and that is the probe exploding. Yeah. And if the probe can't stand the pressure, what are the chances that Enterprise will? It cannot.

And Archer has to be like, Hey, sorry, rescue off. I'm going to have to go figure something else out. We go to Six Bay where this Klingon lady wakes up pissed. Is this scene intentionally or unintentionally horny with her strapped to the table like this. Oh. Thought a lot about the line for that and what side you try to be on when you've got a pre-boob window Klingon strapped to a table.

The author's barely concealed fetish on display here. That's what I'm getting at. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's also your way of thinking about it, right? Like if it was a male Klingon strapped down, do you think you would have had the same thought? I would not. Are you particularly horny for this lady? I mean, would that male Klingon have like a double dong window?

Maybe that would be in the scene. That would make a difference for me as well. Dr. Flux is a great doctor. He's determined that she's got the neurotoxin in her system. And for some reason, Archer in this moment tries talking to her and she is not trying to hear any of this guy's explanations for why she's strapped to a bio bed. And she says, when her fucking boyfriends get there, that you're gonna kick all your asses. She's got a big mouth, but she's not kidding. I'm gonna whip you silly, and I'm gonna fuck you stupid.

It's interesting, because like when Archer's like, hey, no, like we're just trying to like help your guys down on the ship and save your ship. And this is met with so much suspicion, and she jumps to the conclusions that it's like, all with the intention of extracting secrets from the Klingons or doing something to advantage the humans over the Klingons.

Not a lot is made over the restraint part. I wanna hit this again. Like, when you are restrained by people, I think it is easy to assume bad intent. Like, she can't move, and she's feeling like shit from the neurotoxin. Like, not a lot of credence is given to her perspective here.

The time I got arrested, I remember it being a very uniquely disquieting feeling to like not have any freedom over what I did over the next few hours. Like, when you're, like, handcuffed to the guy next to you and being, like, walked down the street to a car, like, it is upsetting in a way that's, like, it was a little bit outside of what I would've predicted

about that, I think. And so, yeah, I think that's a good call. It took you a long time to use the ones in the nightstand after that, I bet. Yeah. But I, you know, I powered through it and, you know, the fuzzy, the fuzzy handcuffs are back in the menu, you know? Well, that's good. You just clip the fuzzy handcuffs around your neck to the

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I'm Jesse Thorn. I just don't want to leave a mess. This week on Bullseye, Dan Aykroyd talks to me about the Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters, and his very detailed plans about how he'll spend his afterlife. I think I'm going to roam in a few places, yes. I'm going to manifest in Rome. All that and more on the next Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR. Hello teachers and faculty.

This is Janet Varney. I'm here to remind you that listening to my podcast, the JV Club with Janet Varney, is part of the curriculum for the school year. Learning about the teenage years of such guests as Alison Brie, Vicki Peterson, John Hodgman, and so many more is a valuable and enriching experience. One you have no choice but to embrace, because yes, listening is mandatory.

The JV Club with Janet Varney is available every Thursday you have no choice but to embrace because yes, listening is mandatory. The JV Club with Janet Varney is available every Thursday on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you. And remember, no running in the halls. And you will never take the greatest gin alive. Ben would rather die. Rather die.

I like that Archer is starting to figure out that trying to be the white knight to every single person he meets in outer space is not necessarily playing super well. I mean, that might be generous. I feel like it's working way less than half the time. Yeah. Not a good hit rate.

He's like, I gotta just stop trying to help people. He's talking about this with Tripp. Like there's a psychological component to this that Archer wasn't considering. They talk about the Klingon ships that they are trying to help. Tripp describes it as a tough little ship, which Klingons love. He has a pitch, which is, why don't, instead of taking the whole entrepreneur down, we beef up one of our shuttles and send that down.

It sounds like a fun project. It sounds like an A-Team project. Yeah. Because we actually do get a moment where, like, we're close up with them as they weld some shit together. That's my favorite part of the A-Team show, that montage where they're building the thing. Yeah.

Yeah. It's good stuff. Yeah. Down on the Klingon vessel, we get a captain's log and the captain of this vessel is like getting wasted while recording this log. He's played by Vaughn Armstrong, who plays the Admiral that's always giving

archer his, his walking orders. Yeah. But he talks about how they were in a battle with the Xeranteen and that battle went great, but now they're falling victim to this disease and he doesn't know what this disease is. And the overall situation is not good from an honor perspective.

Where do you think this captain is during the recording of this log? Because I think posture does a lot to convey a feeling during a captain's log and we've seen this over the course of like decades in Star Trek. Like when a captain's in trouble, they'll be slouched or laying down. Or like remember in Star Trek IV, like the one in profile that couldn't even look at the camera during the log. Like you start messing with that composition a little bit.

It helps to finish off the story in a visual way. Right, like if I'm like this to the camera saying, Captain's log. You seem fine. I seem fine, but when you're like in the Hasselhoff eating a floor burger pose, like this captain is. Yeah, he's on the ground. Ugh, this is Captain's log.

He's on a Klingon bathroom floor. And that is no good. So they do get one piece of actionable Intel from this log, which is that they need to fix the port fusion injector and that will get the propulsion system on the ship back up and running. Hey, Ben, do you think the port fusion injector is what we should call the dessert menu at an Italian restaurant. Yeah.

We'll be right back. Hey Adam, do you think the reactor pit is what we should call the front section of a greatest generation live show. Oh, I like that a lot. That's good. That's strong. They're like, okay, we'll go try and fix that.

And they figure out where it is on the ship and head down there. Meanwhile, we do get that archer and trip doing a welding project scene. This is where archers kind of like, as they work, he's talking about, this lady hates me because I asked her for help. Like he came to her with a help me, help you, help your ship. And that's all upside down from a Klingon perspective. Nobody is gonna assume positive honor-based intent

in any of that. There's a weird undercurrent of like, I like her, why doesn't she like me? I'm trying to be nice and interesting. Yeah. She doesn't care. But that's Archer with every alien. Yeah, yeah.

Like has he ever met one that he doesn't wanna ask to the dance? He's thirsty, that's what his problem is. He's a thirsty motherfucker. Trip suggests a change in diplomatic strategy. This is a change that does not have any detail at this point. Maybe it's time to start thinking like a Klingon. I love how much overall in Enterprise, the antecedents for the Vulcan

Hello are in here without ever actually saying it. Like I think that whoever wrote that in Star Trek Discovery did a great job of like extrapolating from this stuff to like, what would you do if you were new to space travel and you ran into the Klingons a couple of times and were smart about it, unlike Archer. Thinking about that a lot.

How the show would be different without Archer, specifically. Why don't you put T'Pol in charge? So Reed is working on trying to fix this port injector and your boy is getting dehydrated. So, T'Pol and Hoshi are gonna go off and try and find him some water in the galley. We get a little tour of a Klingon galley. This is great.

I love how the galley is like, both immediately recognizable as that, but also like the scariest part of the ship. And the best part of a bar rescue episode. Yeah. Like, the dirty before scene in any reality show about restaurants and bars is what this is. This gah is dead!

A wet market is a location that combines multiple kinds of dead animals at a temperature which grows bacteria and viral nodes exponentially. Klingons are known to enjoy this particularly. I thought that they did a pretty good job with the digital targs for the time. Like, they held up pretty well. Yeah. This is not a house pet with a foam horn taped to its head like we saw in TNG.

But it's like, I mean, like, you know, they would do better now, but this is a pretty good jump scare, I think. Yeah. It's a scene that is so heightened that Hoshi can't help, but like, take a minute. She's got to sit down for a second and she's like, God, this sucks.

This sucks because I'm doing this in front of the one crew person I don't want to do this in front of. The fucking tight and tidy T'Pol where, who doesn't feel a thing, who's like always cool as a cucumber. And she goes on and on and T'Pol's like, Hey, it's all right. It's really natural to feel some fuels right now.

And check it out. If you give me a thousand isics, I'll teach you your own mantra that you can use to meditate. Here, I'll demonstrate. And with a little bit of palm touching and a little bit of imagination, how she thinks about her mental waves being all choppy and how she does have the ability to smooth those out. And she is stunned. And she promises to get those thousand isics to her as soon as possible. Yeah. I'm good for it. I just got to find an ATM. Maybe it's in green sector.

T'Pol-son-dental meditation. I like it a lot. I also just like the alliterative nicknames everybody's getting. Titan Tidy T'Pol, Rhino Virus Reed. Yeah. Got to come up with one for Hoshi. Banger.

Banger interrupts this really nice moment between T'Pol and Hoshi. And Reed tells T'Pol that there are areas of the ship that even now are being crunched, like a soda can recycler thing. Yeah. You know how much fun those things are? Yeah, those are great until you pinch a finger.

The exterior shot shows this instead of tells it in a very fun way. I love seeing this. Yeah, the ship is getting squished and they do not have a lot of time left. And it is with that hanging in the air that we cut up to the entrepreneur where Tripp is like, yeah, I'm going to do a couple more tests before we send this shuttle down there to do any rescue. I just want to make sure everything is a hundred percent the way I want it to be. We are going to pack this thing with billionaires and we are going to send it down. We're just going to see what happens.

Yeah. Sure, it'll be fine. In six bath, they, uh, inject their prisoner slash patient with the cure for the neurotoxin and, uh, start to interrogate her a little bit about how she got this. Turns out they were drinking xeratine ale. This was their celebratory beverage, but it's also how they got sick. The neurotoxin was in the booze. This is when Archer kind of becomes a chess player. He's like, listen, like, you got poisoned, you almost died from it, we

geared you. You got a bunch of guys down there that are also poisoned, and you're gonna have their dishonor on your conscience if you don't help us get that ship back in order. I love the idea of a Klingon raiding party not only destroying their enemies, but taking that booze. What? Don't let the booze go to waste. Let's party with it. Hey man, don't let anything Zarentine go to waste.

Did you understand this to be that the stuff was laced with a thing intentionally, or that there was just something about Zarentine booze that did not agree with the Klingon Constitution? The Zarentine Ale is being kept in the danger zone and therefore pathogens can develop. We cut to that scene in Can't Hardly Wait where the nerd is drinking out of the keg and he spits it out. Do not drink the Zarentine. The Zarentine has gone bad. There's like one nerdy Klingon, like everyone's drinking and he feels pure pressured about it. Yeah.

Yeah. He's the only Klingon that doesn't have sharp teeth. Yeah. Yeah. Because you really think it's fair use. Archer tries his hardest to make it clear that it's not a trick, even though you're being restrained on that bio bed. That's for our defense. Could it be that the laced booze is the reason for all your troubles? And look at us, we've developed cures for your illness. You're feeling

better right now, aren't you? And wouldn't you feel the best if you saved your remaining crew people and you got that ship going again? Come on. Why don't you let me help you do that? Seems like she's going to grudgingly accept this. Meanwhile, Reed is down on the Klingon ship trying to blow torpedoes up underneath them to help the ship get pushed up on shock waves from the explosions. Has this been in a submarine movie before? The like use of depth charges or torpedoes or whatever to to float a sinking vessel? I love the idea.

I think so. Yeah, it's a cool idea. I mean, when you're on such a tough little ship, it's not bad logic. I don't know if it would work on a, on like a contemporary submarine though. They're doing that thing though, where they're like shooting ones and twos, and they're a little bit further away than they need to do anything. They need to explode these things closer.

Yeah. Damn the risks! Archie and the Klingon lady are on the shuttle, inbound to try and rescue the crew. And they start picking up the webs. I mean, the ship is coming apart as they do this, but it's, it's not working. So the Hoshi is like, why don't we just expend all remaining ordinance, do an all torpedoes all at once strategy.

And it's a lovely fucking war. A little trigger happy even for Reed. Yeah. I love this. I love this look for Hoshi. Yeah. If only she was strapped with an old school phaser at the time, you know? Yeah.

Really bring the whole thing together. Like, I hate that this comes from being, like, so well rested from her meditation experience with Ta-Pal and not from just, like, being born again hard, Hoshi. Yeah. Yeah. Hard Hoshi. That's what we want. There we go!

What did you think about this composition? Because we get a bunch of shot-reverse-shot stuff between Hoshi and Ta-Pal and Reid, where Hoshi's making her case and to Paul and Reed are reacting. But it feels like to Paul is looking straight to camera for a lot of this in a way that I think was intentional because who does Hoshi want to gain the respect of more than anyone? It's to Paul.

So it feels very heightened for Hoshi to make her case and to feel like Ta-Paul's looking right at her during this case making. The last composition in the scene is Hoshi and Reed talking to each other, soft focus in the foreground with the camera focused on Ta-Paul in the background, which is like usually not, not where you would put the plane of focus. Yeah. Usually the plane of focus would be on the back of T'Pol's head as she leaves the scene. So this is unusual.

Well, usually it'd be on the people speaking and instead the director wants us to think about T'Pol in this moment. You know what the best cosplay was at Star Trek Las Vegas that we saw? I know you saw this person. T'P Paul, but like the hair was on backwards, like the wig was on backwards. That was great.

That was solid. So yeah, they do this. The shockwave is big. It hits the shuttle and like some debris from parts of the ship that this blows off go past the shuttle. And it does push the Klingon vessel considerably higher but it's only buying them moments.

The shuttle's docks and Archer is like, allow me to introduce officer Bukha and Reed is like, okay. I saw you running down the ramp for that joke pommel horse. Is he going to stick it? I feel like there was one leg back, but then you step back forward into it. It's good. It's good.

I didn't get all 10 points across the board. The Russian judge was a little bit mean to me on that one, I think. Really good. But yeah, we've got her aboard and we also learned that there are Klingon ships on the approach. We've got 16 minutes till they show up and officer Bukha is like, I'm going to fix my own fucking ship. I don't need your, your help. Yeah.

Like a lot of species, they do not want and resent the very idea of help coming from Archer and Enterprise. I love how consistent this is throughout this show. No thanks. Pete Slauson So, like, a bit of an elliptical edit now because Archer just like, kind of like comes back to the bridge of the entrepreneur. We're still within that 16 minutes because no other Klingons have shown up. Jared Slauson That's what felt so weird about this was that entrepreneur, we're still within that 16 minutes because no other Klingons have shown up. That's what felt so weird about this was that like, usually you get an edit like this and it's like tonight would be in the script note.

Right. Like I was expecting to cut back up to the entrepreneur and they're like having dinner in the captain's mess talking about their experience. And instead it's like, no, like this is like 10 minutes later, Max. And Archer gets up there and he's like, cool, well, the Raptor is coming up out of the atmosphere and they're hailing us. Let's talk to them. Like, they must be super appreciative of what we did.

And instead, Captain Von Armstrong, who has now got his shoulders squared up to the camera, is ordering them to heave to and surrender. I love this. I love it because it's so not a surprise. You know, he's got the strength that a lot of us feel once we finally get up off the bathroom floor, start to feel a little bit better

about some decisions we've made. Yeah. He gets aggressive again. In the way that you know, is a Klingon feeling good. Mm-hmm. Yeah. His color's coming back, you know. Archer also gets aggressive here, and I kind of love the ultimatum. Your ship is beat to shit. You have no more photon torpedoes, we know because we shot all of them out of it. And basically, like, you should take your honor, what little of it you have left, and get the hell out of here.

It sure does feel like diplomatic theater though, right? Because the thing that happened during that elliptical edit is the conversation that Klingon Captain had with his bridge crew going like, all right, let's set a course for home. Let's do repairs along the way. And his XO is like, what the fuck, man? Let's blow that ship up more. Like, everyone on his team is riding for something more aggressive. And that's the whole reason that this plays out the way it does.

Well, yeah, and I was thinking about how much the Klingon captain is never going to live this down, you know, like this will be a career ending shame for him. And I thought it would have been a much more interesting ending if they'd been like, no deal on the taking our honor and going home, like we're fighting you because that's what we do. We're Klingons and Archer had been put in the position of destroying this ship. Wouldn't that confirm to Paul's information earlier? And wouldn't this episode have ended in kind of a spectacular fashion if Archer had to put this ship down?

It would have been so much better. I would say that that is a 10 out of 10 ending and this is kind of a three out of 10. Yeah. Instead, we just get like decontamination chamber hangs for the away team and we learn that this is like sort of spa like for them. Like they love chilling in the decon chamber. It is pleasant. Even if they don't love the company, they love being in the decon chamber. It is pleasant. Even if they don't love the company, they love being in there.

Are we to imagine that they did lube themselves up in a scene that we did not get? Is the lube required? I mean, they are glistening. That's the point I'm trying to make, is because like their hair is dry. Right. But their bodies are wet,

which I think means that they are covered in the gel. Yeah. Who do you think got Hoshi's back, T'Pol or Reed? I think it is strange that this scene is set up where T'Pol is on the left, she's not touching Hoshi who is in the middle, and Reed is kind of resting on Hoshi.

And it's unclear whether or not that bar behind them is a backrest or not. Yeah. It's made to look comfortable in a way that in real life could not possibly be comfortable. Right, right. Like no one sits like this in a sauna. Yeah, but their backs are like as straight vertical

as they can possibly be. Yeah, that's not what you get here. What you get here are three crew people who just really could use some alone time right now after their traumatic experience on the Klingon ship. And they're just fine to take a little more time for themselves in here. And it smells great. It definitely doesn't smell like three sweaty bodies. That's for sure. Yeah. So is T'Pol like used to the way humans smell now, or is it her nasal

suppressants are just like not adapted to suppressing the smell of Gleeons? I was just going to say, I think it's the flow nays or whatever. Yeah. Did you like this episode, Adam? You know, when we were talking about the ghost episode that could have been here, the phantom limb of the ending, that's a great episode. And it's unfortunate that we thought of that. I know. Yeah. Like thinking of that made this episode seem less good in- I know. By comparison.

Absent that, I feel like this episode is fine and interesting and I like having another interaction with the Klingons. I like having an interaction with the Klingons that is once again not successful, where there are a lot of misunderstandings on both sides. That part's cool, but the dark ending. I crave it. And in season one of Enterprise, I feel like those are opportunities untaken at this point. Because what we need to do is prop up Archer as a quote unquote good man and quote unquote good captain.

Right. So this is what we get. What about you? Yeah. I mean, I feel the same way. Like I do like that Archer as guy who isn't that good at this is a self-aware version of that character. Like he knows he keeps fucking up and keeps making bad choices in a way

that is, you know, at least enduring on that basis. But the thing I want most of all is for him to make a mistake that is truly haunting. You know, if he then had to order Malcolm Reed to like fire a full spread at this Klingon ship and destroy it. And then like grieved that he had gone to such great lengths to help them. You go to the fucking looking window, Archer. You know you do after that. There is a single brass instrument in this for you, Archer. And, uh, we didn't get that.

So a little disappointing on that basis. Yeah. Where are the brass instruments? Maybe they're in the priority one inbox. Are we looking there? We didn't get that, so a little disappointing on that basis. Yeah. Where are the brass instruments? Maybe they're in the Priority One inbox. Should we look in there? All right. I'm going to head that way.

Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel. Need a supplemental income. Supplemental income. Supplemental. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship. Our first P1 today is of a promotional nature, and it goes like this. For 20 years, Zach Bagans has gone unchallenged as Lord of the Paranormal World.

Until now. Join Joel and Eric as they hilariously dissect every episode of Ghost Adventures and invent new ways to challenge Zack to Come Fight Us in the Dark. FODs join our army of witches and warlocks every other Tuesday for paranormal goofballery on ComeFightMeInTheDark.com and at CFMITD anywhere you get your shows. Skits, bits, rambling merons, and in-jokes abound, we even have a Ferengi drop. Love you Ben and Adam. You know what's funny is that my wife and I went out to dinner last night and like one of my favorite things that she wears are her CFM ITDs.

Yeah. I'm sure Come Fight Me in the Dark loves that. I feel uncomfortable saying this, but she does look great in those. So the call to action here is listening to the most dangerously silly paranormal podcast ever at Come Fight Me in the Dark. And don't confuse this show with the other CFMITD show, Come Fuck Me in the Dark. That one's a very different audience. I'm not familiar with the Ghost Adventures program.

No. Have you ever watched that? Are you into the paranormal at all, Adam? I mean, I am generally, but I had to search for Ghost Adventures myself. This is a reality show. Yeah, yeah. It stars this Zac Bagan's character. The Zac Bagans?

Listen to this! Yeah, there's an AV tech on the show named Billy Tully. Hmm. How the hell do they have a Billy Tully and we have a Billy Tilly? Get your own Billy Tilly sounding Bill Tilly. Fucking ghost adventures. Pieces of shit. Wait a second. I might know a director of this show. Oh Do tell it's possible that a friend of mine directs episodes of this. I love it Yeah, I gotta I gotta find out if this is the show he directs. I have a friend who directs like ghost reality shows and

He's a cool dude Thanks for the promotional P1 message. Yeah, it's really cool. I like scary stuff. I'd watch something like this. Me too. And I would listen to its companion podcast, Come Fight Me in the Dark.

Yeah, it sounds like there's, this would be like if we were trying to get Scott Bakula to like rumble with us, right? Yeah, yeah. Ben, we got a personal priority one message here it is from dr. no pants and it's to Jake or John or whatever their message goes like this I wanted to commemorate our relationship to this show permanently I can't believe you got me to listen to this show when I didn't even watch

Star Trek yet who does that You were the best husband, catfish dad and dad dad. I want Ben and Adam to know it. And now here it is, mortalized on an episode of Enterprise. Can you believe I did this? Wow. Dr. No Pants has done what I think a lot of cool FODs have done. Chosen a favorite episode, enshrined their message into it forever. The idea that Dr. No Pants isn't sure what their partner's first name is is familiar to both of us, I imagine. She sounds cool as hell.

Well congrats Jake or John or whatever on being a great cat slash fish dad and dad dad. Yeah, your read on cat slash fish dad is probably better than my catfish dad, which suggests a kind of lying about your identity and fooling of a Dr. No Pants. Yeah. I don't think that's what happened here. Is

Catfish Daddy? Only Dr. No Pants knows for sure. Our final P1 today is from Taylor, your drunk self, and it's to myself. It goes like this. I'm drunk and this is my fan theory please discuss. The reason Earth is the home of Starfleet and the Federation is because of the Enterprise episode the Andorian incident. The reason Earth is the home of Starfleet and the Federation is because of the Enterprise episode, the Andorian incident. The Andorians never forgot it and when all the founding members got together the Andorians realized each race would vote for itself but because of that episode they decided they trusted the humans. I didn't think that episode was that foundational, but with this theory,

yeah, kind of makes sense. Yeah, I mean, I think that's a great theory. It's not as drunk a theory as Taylor might have implied. No, not at all. This could have just as easily come from a sober Taylor, which is coincidentally the best kind of Taylor. The Taylor I prefer. Yeah, they get the hem just right. Well thanks to everyone who got a P1, whether drunk or sober. They really help us keep the lights on around here and it's a great way to get your message out or send a message of love or promulgate a fan theory. Maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron if you are interested in getting one for yourself.

Hey Ben. What's that Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda this episode? Incredible. Drunk Shimoda. Hmm. I think it's going to Archer just for, I think that he's made enough mistakes by now that like looking up Klingon psychology later is an unforced error. Like bone up on

like what makes Klingons tick before you start interrogating the woman you have chained to a bed in your six bay. And I think things will start to go a little bit better for you. How about you? And I think things will start to go a little bit better for you. How about you? I'm not quite sure who to give this to based on the scenario that seems weird to me, but maybe we can talk it out. So in the decontamination chamber at the very end, we got a Teppal, a Hoshi, and a Reed. A Reed who is sick with a head cold. We do.

And yet has been made to share close quarters with a hoshi who has seemed fine up to this point. My question for you is, does Dr. Flax believe the decontamination chamber is also scrubbing Reed's body from the common cold or does he not give a shit about putting Reed and Hoshi in that confined space so that Hoshi's gonna catch his cold? I think that's messed up. We know T'Pol's gonna be fine. She's made of sturdy stuff, but I wonder about this for Hoshi. Are we gonna get a sick Hoshi in the next episode?

I don't know. Yeah, the cold just seems to go away as a concern after the first act of this episode. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't love that part of it. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Ben. You know what my drunk Shimoda is? The common cold. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Why don't you get out of here common cold? Yeah. Why don't you go stamp out a campfire like a rhino? Fucking rhino virus piece of shit. I mean, that was a little bit of a hike, but I'm glad we got there. It was good. Anybody that has listened to any of our shows knows. I do not mind taking a long walk for a B minus at best punchline.best punchline. FACE OF THE FART A much shorter walk is toward what our next episode is gonna be, Ben.

For that, we will go to our What's the Next Episode correspondent, Benjamin R. Harrison, with all the details. Next episode is season one, episode 15, Shadows of Pajam. Archer and the crew are disappointed to discover in episode 15, Shadows of P'Chem. Archer and the crew are disappointed to discover that T'Pol has been ordered by the Vulcan High Command

to leave Enterprise and equally frustrated at her seeming indifference to leaving their ranks. T'Pol's last mission as a Starfleet officer, however, proves eventful when she and Archer are kidnapped by a militant faction on an alien planet. Gee, why is T'Pol acting the way that she's always acted? What's eating T'Pol? Hey, that sounds like fun.

Yeah, I'm into it. I'm going to go over to the Game of Buttholes to go over to the game of buttholes. Will of the Riker, Quantum Leap, where our runabout is currently on square 89, but literally anything is in play as we roll the 100 side of die to determine what our next episode will be like. And this could take us anywhere on the board. Sure could.

So it makes this moment so fraught. Yeah. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. So I'm gonna see what we hit here. Nothing. I rolled a 71, putting us on square. 60.

Chula! Did I win? Hardly. Regular episode next week, Adam. The whiff. The whiff. Not even close to anything, really. Pretty cool. Pretty cool episode for us.

Yeah. You know, it's gonna be a sad one. See T'Pol go, but I'm sure we'll see the back of her head when she does. All episodes of Greatest Jen are sad in their own way. one, see it to Paul Goh, but I'm sure we'll see the back of her head when she does. All episodes of Greatest Jen are sad in their own way, aren't they? Yeah, I never thought of it that way. One thing that makes me happy is all the support we get for our show over the years especially. Financial support comes from our generous FODs who see

it in their hearts and their wallets to go to maximumfund.org slash join. Get on a monthly payment plan just five bucks a month. Supports the show greatly and also unlocks a bunch of bonus episodes and new ones come out every month. Hey, go get yourself something at Podshop.biz if you'd like a little bit of swag from our show. Another thing you can find there is a way to sign up for our email list. And if you sign up for our email list, you'll start to get our monthly newsletter. We've been doing this for a few months now and I'm having a ton of fun doing it. We put together usually one kind of big feature article

and a bunch of little heads ups about things we're up to in these newsletters. And I'm very pleased with how they're coming out. So I want people to sign up for it. We're trying to make it distinct and different and something special. Something you look forward to in an sign up for it. We're trying to make it distinct and different and something special. Something you look forward to in an email inbox for once. Yeah.

Think of that. Yeah. Next one will be out in like, I guess, two weeks or so as of the drop of this episode. So get signed up now. Yeah. And if you want a discount code for the Pod Shop, that's where you get it. Sure do. We gotta thank Windy Pretty, our producer, who edits this show and keeps all the plates spinning at Uxbridge Shimoda HQ. She is fantastic. Also gotta thank Bill Tilly, our temporal Cold War time consigliere, who is back in the trading card business. Go check out our socials at Greatest Trek to check out Bill Tilley's trading cards.

They're great. Our social media accounts are run by Rob Adler, who also does the mailing list and he's also really fantastic addition to the team. We really appreciate all of the talented folks we get to work with day in and day out due to the largesse of the Friends of DeSoto. With that we will be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an episode of Greatest Generation Enterprise where Adam is leaving the show and I'm like kind of blown away at how unsentimental he is about just stopping doing this thing that we've been doing for like eight years together.

I'm sure FODs have expected this moment. Long time coming. Yeah. It hurts my feelings. Make it so, make it so. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.