The Greatest Generation - Four-Shaft Rotation (ENT S4E17)

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

When the Entrepreneur encounters an Orion ship, its captain makes an offer that the crew can’t refuse. But after Archer figures out who’s really in charge, Tucker and T’Pol use their pheromonal immunity to save the ship. When is slavery like a bathroom? How is the EPS system like an ATM machine? Whose auction price can be compared to everything? It’s the very horny episode that’s red meat for a Star Trek teen.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Instagram | Bluesky And check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Here's to the finest crew in starving. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Welcome to the greatest generation at the Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed. About having, the Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica. I'm Ben Harrison. I've never been so nervous watching an episode. I was watching an episode where a bunch of the main actors are painted green. And they're like touching all the stuff.

Tell me more. We stayed at a hotel where there were bodybuilders. We know about all of the saran wrap they covered everything in and what the bed sheets that they were giving those people looked like. It's a great point. It suggests not only like the makeup of an Orion, but like you got to set it too. There's like the setting spray.

Right. To make sure it's not rubbing off on it. anything. And by anything, I also mean yourself. Because when you're walking around, like, doing a floppy arm confidence walk down a hall, your arms are rubbing your birdie,

your legs in some places maybe touching. Like, your weird combination leather and metal brassiere is rubbing. Yeah. Maybe that's a brassier. Mm-hmm. Potentially. I think, I think that would probably be accurate.

Yeah. But yeah, like, and then So what, are you just supposed to take a shower after that? Like, I don't believe it. I don't believe it comes off. Do you think full-body, one-color makeup the way in Orion has to present, is better or worse than, let's just call, like, average loaf? Yeah. Is Tellerite average loaf? Like, whatever the loaf average is of an alien of the week.

Like, what do you think is more difficult? It seems like full-body makeup is more difficult, even though. Like if you're wearing loaf sometimes, your breathing is affected and your eyesight's compromised and all the rest. Like what you can mess with at the craft services table is a shorter, more confined list. I don't know. Now that we talk it out, I feel like maybe Orion's it. Maybe that's great. But it's everywhere.

It's everywhere. And like, how long does it take to get it off? Are you taking showers for a week before it's all gone? Nobody knows any Orion's to ask. That's the problem. Right. Like I'd like to hang out with an actor that played an Orion, like, for brunch, like the week of, you know? Yeah.

Like, how did it go last night? Were you showering your ass off? Like, how many showers have you taken since? Or did they show up to brunch still kind of green? Your bathroom's never the same after this, right? No. No. You got to hope that there's a trailer shower situation out there in the Star Wagon.

You know, if slavery is that condition which you cannot escape, whatever it may be, like that's what happens to your bathroom after you're playing Orion. It's true. And I think we should stand to liberate post-Oryan bathrooms. We need an emancipation of the bathtub. Sounds great. In cases like this, I'm just presuming that the sort of shower you get into

would be the kind that's the shower tub combo. I mean, you would never want to take a bath after this, right? No. Then it's looking like you're in a stew. A delicious split pea stew situation. Yeah, yeah. Or like a potato leak, maybe.

Yeah. Depending on what else is in the, bath, you know. Not many green soups, are there? I was struggling. Well, we are bound to talk about this episode today, Adam. It's season four episode 17 of Star Trek Enterprise, bound. The cold open begins with Enterprise headed to the Barangaria system to scout for a place to build a new star base. This seems to be the work of a starship at this moment in time. Scout. Scout for a place to build. Yeah. It also feels like a writer's room at the end of the last season. Like, I don't know, fuck it. Berengaria system.

Irma Gerr. Berengarry System. Was there a guy in the production office named Gary that everybody hated and they found out he couldn't have kids? Ouch. On the bridge to Paul gives Archer the notes on this new system, some of which would strain credulity on any other show besides Star Trek. This is the first time they've ever gotten a big paper map out in Star Trek, and there's a there be dragons section. There's been lingering questions over the accuracy of this report.

But the dragons they have to worry about are not the ones that live on this potential Star Trek. base planet, but the lumpy green ship kind of dragons that are pulling up on them unannounced in space. Orion ships are green like dragons. You're right. Hmm. They've really got like, they've got a one color palette over there on Orion. Yeah, this Orion ship is on an intercept course.

And the Orion we get on screen is it's captain, Captain Herod Sar. who is demanding Archer power down his weapons, or he's going to shoot. He comes in hot, and with this threat, we cuts to the opening credits. And when we're back, we're still at this impasse. And Archer proposes, what if we both put our guns down at the same time?

I think a certain type of action movie has mastered this moment. We're shot reverse shotting. Our two characters, like slowly, incrementally, putting down their weapons. There is no starship equivalent to that. It's really just a, we're agreeing to do this, right? And the other captain going, yeah, I think so. And then a mutual agreement that is not simultaneous. There is that Klingon ship in Star Trek 3, I want to say,

where the gun gets deployed and it looks like very robocopy the way it, like, It like comes out of the fuselage and aims around. And if that was like how the phasers were always depicted as like a thing that has to actually like come out from inside the hall, you could have that. You could have that reversing of that action. I love that idea. I mean, I feel like we've seen something like that in strange new worlds, right? Where turrets pop. Yeah.

Yeah. And turrets drop. Mm-hmm. I think Star Trek 2009 was a very turdy enterprise. prize. Yeah. Yeah. I love turrets. Yeah. They're fun. They can shoot grapplers. They give us something to see in a moment like this at least besides two people agreeing to turn them off. Just push a button. The Ryan captain once we're just going to presume turrets are lowered. It's like, hey, there's something I want to propose to you. And it's actually the sort of proposal that's better in person on my ship.

So it's a very like Godfather style proposal. Right. This is an offer that Archer can't refuse. My hospitality is renowned, Captain. I don't offer it to everyone. What's the matter what you? I love that it's on Harrod Star's ship because I feel like every time an alien comes to Enterprise, it's like, well, then you're invited over.

And it's like, oh, cool. So we get to see the inside of Enterprise. You are so right. This is such a treat. Yeah. Archer hesitates, but this guy sweetens the pot. He says, like, what I'm proposing, I think will make the relationship between the Orion Syndicate and the Starfleet a little bit easier. So, you know, why don't we open up negotiations?

To read in the corridor, negotiations would include taking a bunch of soldiers over. I mean, he's feeling a little frosty about the almost. being sold into slavery storyline we got at the beginning of the season, you know? Sure. Like, bad feelings they still have about that storyline. And he's right to bring that up. Yeah. Bad feelings are also pervading the engineering section where Kelby and Tripp are continuing

to work on fixing the engines, but Kelby feels like his feet are being stepped on by the former chief engineer. are coming back and chieffing around in the engine room. Like, this is supposed to be Kelby's time to shine. Why is Tripp here? I found myself on Kelby's side of this argument. It actually makes a lot of sense. He does have a point.

If Kelby's job was so secure, and Archer wouldn't prefer Tripp to stay, like, what is all this? Yeah. It sucks. Yeah. To Paul's there, and she asks Tripp what she can do to help. And so Tripp gives her something.

some busy work, and before she goes, she's got a question. Has Tripp been daydreaming about her? He says no. Liya! Also, it's kind of weird that she'd ask. That's private. It's basically the vibe. Are you asking everyone in engineering that question?

Hey, Kelby! Did Topal asked you about this? Yeah, he will not fess up. Neither will to Paul. He asks her like why she asks. You're going to tell me what this is about? No. We go over to the ship of Herod Sar, who is pouring them some liquor distilled by the gorns. It's called Meridor.

And it is blue. Any sort of homebrew, I think I'm reflexively of the opinion of like, oh, that's cool. That's good for you. Like, I love a hobby. Hobbies are great. But, like, I'd rather have a Modelo. You know? I thought it was, like, the vibes are chill as hell.

These are not the sort of vibes where you could get poured a gorn homebrew beverage. And have an opinion like that, you got to drink it. You got to drink it. Delicious. I'm pleased. And you also have to eat it, too. And by eat it, I'm talking about a full buffet. FAA spread out there.

Yeah. This whole setting is a feast for the eyes. It really is. Archer wants to know like what's, what's this about, and Howard's like,

you know, your reputation precedes you a pit. You're wanted all over town. Archer's like, wanted for what? What did they say about me? They say anything about my busting out

of prison reputation? They've been talking about my after five shadow. Yeah. What kind of? of wanted are we talking about, you know? Like, uh, like, uh, like are the honeys wanting me also? When people talk about me, are they assigning a kind of lightness or darkness to my name out on those streets? Kind of a lot to know here. No business before entertainment on an Orion ship.

And here come the dancing girls. And I was kind of surprised at how much of a sequence this was. Like, there was a lot of choreo. And I feel like most of the other times I can think of that we've seen someone dancing in Star Trek, the direction felt like, just gyrate your hips, tuts, you know, like, in a like old Hollywood gross ass way. And this was like, oh, no, like they have dance moves. They're like, they're coordinated. These are like talented performers here. Ben, you're really kind by saying that.

because this just felt like you go to the Middle Eastern restaurant that's like non-specific to any particular country. And you get the flat bread and you smoke the hookah and like this is the entertainment. And like everyone's trying really hard to make it seem exotic and have a good time. But I think the length of the performance does it a disservice because the longer you see it, the more I felt like, all right, whatever. I mean, it's not like Backstreet Boys video level choreo, but like it's way more choreo than we typically

get on Star Trek. I think it's more about titillation that it is about synchronization. Because you look at Reed's face and he's like about to bust. This is season one read here. Horny Reed that we used to get back in the day. And he's loving this, I think, way more than Archer.

What do you think? She's got an awfully nice problem. Herod Sar is like telling Archer about how Navarre is the most experienced of the three and that he purchased these three, you know, recently and no like, hmm. Archer's too polite to say anything about what he feels slavery.

If you're Archer, you have to ask how much they paid because in the back of my mind, I'm like, did you pay more than Topal got? That number that Topal got still fresh in my mind. mind. I'm like, are three of these more or less than a single to Paul? I want to know. The market sets of price. And like, this is something I would think he would be curious about. But with the dance over, we can talk business. No, they're not going to sue. They got no case.

Because parody and damnifies later in the clarinet rental closet, we learn what the offer is. there is a planet that this guy knows the coordinates of that's got tons of magnosite. And if you go build, if Starfleet goes and builds a magnocyte extraction operation on that planet and give him 10%, he'll give up the coordinates. And this will be good because it will establish, you know, like a first foothold for a diplomatic dialogue between Starfleet and the syndicate. Pretty big upside. Yeah. All you got to do in exchange for this great offer is accept these three Orion slave girls. Oh, and give me a little bit of a percentage.

You got to get my beak wet on this. Right. Yeah, 10% finders fee. You don't get an answer in the scene. You get the confirmation later that this is a gift that Archer accepts. Given the situation, I couldn't refuse. Yeah, because Reed is taking them around the ship and telling them all the decks. and about their quarters and stuff.

And this is another, like, read seeming to not anticipate that these people might not be here for the reasons stated. Like, yeah, here's where all the important shit is. It's basically the vibes of this tour. These women have names. These women have slightly different costumes. I have to admit, Ben,

I'm ashamed to admit. I had a hard time telling them apart, even with those differences, apparent. Yeah, like they're all being green and they're all having kind of like similar length hair

made it really hard to follow which one was which. Like Navarre is kind of like the lead one. I feel like I get that. I feel like I need their behaviors to be distinct for me to really get on board with their differences. Like one of them should be super horny. One of them should be, like nerdy and the other one maybe like aggressive or violent or something like i need an alvin in the chipmunks

kind of hierarchy right one should be in glass of threes in order to tell them apart instead they're just all super horny and super forward and you know it's uh it's not like reed's not noticing reed needs this so fucking bad too like i get it reed you are you're down bad and you have you're down bad and you have been for a long time. There is clearly an implication that Reed could help them decorate what they've described as a very disappointingly decorated set of quarters here. I know, they say it lacks color, but it's like, so does your fucking ship. Your ship is just green.

It's all green, everything. Reed's like, well, the only decoration I have would decorate them white. Could your quarters use some white? Garland. We could start with the windows and then move to the wall. So Enterprise heads for the magnocyte planet coordinates and on the bridge to Paul reports to Archer that the Orion women have been kind of a distraction to many on the crew. And Archer's not surprised as someone who has previously been very attached to things that are slick and green.

I was blown away by this conversation. because it's like, maybe we should put them in some clothes that are like slightly more appropriate to our culture. And also, someone should really tell them that they're no longer enslaved. And I was like, that's that the first thing you did? It felt to me like the sort of tension where, and tell me if this has ever happened to you guys. But like, if my wife and I are out socializing and someone in the group is like incredibly and surprisingly, and they're a woman, I can't say that. I wouldn't say that. And if my wife does, that's almost like permission to be like, oh yeah, she's very good looking. This scene between Tepal and Archer, it kind of resembles that. Like, Archer should wait for Tepal to say that they're a distraction first before he goes all in to agree the way that he does. I feel like there's, it's a little too neutral for him to be as enthusiastic as he is about confirming what a distraction they are. You know what I mean? I mean, he's probably already been affected, right? Like, it's about the length of exposure.

And he was the first one to meet them. So to Paul holds up just absolute fucking dumpy rags. And it's like, hey, why don't we have them change into these? I was actually cleaning my station with them. Yeah. Like, this would help. When I'm distracted, you know I got to get a pump. That's it, get it. And that's where Mayweather and Reed had. They're in the gym. Talking about how distracting they are,

Mayweather's like, you haven't seen distracting. We once docked with a delton ship when I was a kid. My dad taught me how to pump in that situation. Well, did it help? Help my biceps. If you're going for mass, you want to lift to failure. This is not what's happening in this scene. Mayweather is wrapping these out, kind of a lot.

Yeah. And I don't like hearing stories about what his dad taught him. W-Sash-R-T pumping. But it sure does feel like getting a pump in this scene means that you don't have time to then go for the record. Right. in some other location on the ship. And that's probably a good idea. Definitely a good idea for Reed.

Yeah. I need something to do on this ship, commander. One of these ladies goes down to engineering and starts kicking it to Kelby, thanking him for his help and wanting a tour. And all of the female officers in engineering are like visibly cheesed off that this lady is walking around talking to their boss like this. it seems like engineering of all places why isn't engineering more secure than this is my question yeah like in TNG big deal to get to go on the bridge

if you're not a bridge officer and uh feels like engineering should be the same you remember like the first time the turbo lift door open and Wesley was about to step out of the bridge what a fucking freak out Picard had in that moment What would have happened if it was a sexy Orion popping out there? Oh, welcome. Hoshi goes to Dr. Flax in Six Bay, and she's got a real bastard behind the eyes. And we hear that another female officer has also come in complaining of headache.

hard to avoid the thought in this moment that this could be the Orion's. The thing that kind of distracts me from that direct line between the two concepts is Dr. Flock's also struggling. Yeah. Like when he hits the floor, I'm like, maybe this isn't about the symptoms you feel as a woman versus the symptoms you feel as a man. Maybe there's just something generalized happening to everyone on board. Too much pumping. Don't like seeing this.

I have a great affection for the Dr. Flax's character. It seemed like he was really struggling. Struggling and not horny. Also, it should be said. Do you think Dr. Flax is so horny all the time that maybe it just doesn't even move the needle for him? Like, that's his secret. He's always horny. We know generally about, like, the denobulin relationships and how complex they can be, how many partners you have, etc.

Like maybe this is just nothing to him. It may be just nothing to him, but it is affecting him. And yeah, he collapses for reasons that we do not know yet. And in engineering trip gets Kelby in a lot of trouble for giving this lady a tour of the engineering section. And we learn you do have to have clearance to be here. And she doesn't have clearance. She doesn't have one of those. Hey, Kelby, it's not take Archer slaves to work.

work day today, all right? Get him out of here. Cut him loose. Kelby doesn't want to do that. No. He refuses a direct order. Amazing. He is confined to quarters. What did you make of him going off to quarters, but she remains in engineering? I feel like we needed another couple of seconds in this scene to make sure she leaves, right? It would have been amazing if Kelby had been like hauled away and then she turns to driven as like, do I need to go to? And he's like, no, you can stay. Now where were we? Where did he leave you on the tour? So I can pick it up. Archer goes and visits another one of these

Orion slave girls. And he tells her a little bit about the abolition of slavery. She's too horny to care. She's not listening to his silly history lesson. I wish she had been like, because Archer puts up the whole like humanity's anti-slavery. You got to know this. And I wish you was well-read enough to be like, well, I mean, not always. It's kind of squishy with you guys. I figured maybe this might have been a moment where you were more open to it. It's weird that she's kind of arguing the pro in the debate over slavery. She's like, I've been doing this my whole life. I'm

really good at it. It's a satisfying career for me. By the end, I feel like we understand that this is a like lead from behind situation. Like, sure, slavery, but also they are the leaders. Yeah. Legally, it's just a fart joke. You will never take the greatest chin alive. Ben would rather die. Archer gets called away as she starts loving on him.

So he walks onto the bridge with a big old stiffy and read. would like the ship to go erect as well, because they are pulling up on this magnocyte planet. And, you know, it seems like we should unpack all of the turrets for an unknown like this. This happens for just a couple of seconds, but I love at no other point in this episode,

do we get a POV except here? Like, to underscore the paranoia of having to put your dick into your waistband before you go out into a public place. Like, Tepalah's making eye contact with the camera. Really heightens the tension of this, I feel like. You really feel like the way Archer does. Yeah.

There's a ship down there, and it's not responding to Hales. So they try to get in closer, and this ship starts shooting. And it's not making a convincing case for itself being a threat. If you are wondering whether, not this ship is important in any way, or maybe you'll find out what its deal is at some point. I'm here to tell you, just don't worry about it. Don't worry about any of that. Archer would like to respond to this attack with overwhelming force. And Tappala's like, what do you mean? Like, what would the point be? They're so pathetic and weak. And Archer is

insisting that Reed kill them and now Reed is defying orders. Archer has to like march over to try and hit the trigger, but this ship gets away. Yeah, they argued so long that it allowed the ship to flee

kind of in a fortunate way. Good for the mystery ship. We barely knew them. Hey, that's a series wrap for whatever that was. Yeah, good stuff. Cut over to Kelby's quarters where Dinesh has found her way inside.

And kind of a lot happens during the commercial break. It's clear that Dinesh is manipulating Kelby by agreeing with his complaints. The way an AI convinces someone to kill themselves or whatever. Like, yeah, all your ideas are good. Every instinct you have. Genius. Follow it to its logical conclusion. Kelby's got complaints, kind of a lot of them.

And primarily, there's no getting out from under Tucker's thumb. Maybe in order to do that, throwing some wooden shoes would solve a couple of problems. It would keep her around. Keep Trip Tucker busy with a whole wooden shoe problem. Hence the word sabotage. He's like, I may be a slave, but I do have a type. And that is a fella who goes out and gets what he wants. Yeah.

What would you do to keep me? So he sneaks into engineering and starts messing with the engine. And Tripp sees what he's doing and like runs across the room, pissed off. And Kelby turns around and throws some hands. You can't tell me that the design for the EPS system isn't go and get the ATM from a convenience store and set it up the corner. This is going to be the EPS system. You know what? EPS system is a lot like ATM machine. It's an unnecessary word at the end. EPS says it all. ATM says it all. It's the same difference. Yeah. Like, do you think what's happening here is that Kelby walks in and goes to the

EPS system and Tripp is like, no, you got to buy something to use that? Yeah. Yeah. Kelby's like $4 as a convenience fee? The fuck? Who does that go to? I see a fight happening on a second level near a railing, and I'm just ready for someone to fly off of it. Yeah. I think like a lot of people walking around this episode,

I was ready for action that didn't necessarily happen. Yeah, like would it kill them to bring in the mini tramp for a scene like? like this. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Trip kicks Kelby's ass. He had to have loved this.

He's wanted to do it from the start. But the engines go out. Like the damage that Kelby done is done. And he did a thorough job according to Tripp Tucker. We're going to be without warp for a little while. And Six Bay Archer and Tripp go to visit him. And he's like strapped down to a biobed. Dr. Flax is like, look, we had to do that to him because he had so much adrenaline in him.

And what caused this adrenaline spike? Orion pheromones. Yeah. And these pheromones can cause delusions in men, headaches and women, and interrupted sleep cycles for denobulans like him. Right. Reads like, I didn't really notice the women in my life had any fewer or more headaches than normal. If you asked me, nothing was changed. What do you mean more headaches?

Don't women always have headaches? They're asking Kelby about it. Like, what did you do and why? And he seems to believe that he didn't do anything. Weird, huh? Yeah. It's almost like he was under the influence of something. Weird the Tucker and Topal are immune.

Yeah. That's a big part of this. We don't know why, but we do know that this pheromone that is affecting everyone needs to be stopped. So the gals get put in quarantine. I think that's a good point you brought up. It's not just that this is inconvenient. It's like prolonged exposure is going to break some dicks or some pelvises and cause some serious problems. It's not just inconvenient.

We can't afford for everybody on the ship to go. for the record all at once to counteract the effects of the pheromones. Reads like, I could actually make a schedule, a schedule, is how I would say it in my accent. A crew person would only have to

check the schedule. And by check, I mean Q-U-E and schedule, I mean, well, however it is that I said it. Schedule. We could Call it a four shaft rotation.

I don't want to talk about it. Get it done. Cut to the slave girls who have been locked in the decomm chamber for some reason. This is... We know they have the brig. Why didn't they use the brig place out here? I don't know. Maybe not big enough for three.

Maybe not sealed enough to keep the pheromones out. Oh, that's it. It's a pheromone thing. Great call. Because we want to decontaminate the ship from them. Yeah. God, I'm an idiot. But weirdly they're the ones in the decon, and they have a communications device, and it is known that they've been using it to talk to Harad Saar.

And the lead lady is like, no, we were just, you know, calling him to say we were being treated well and that we like it over here. Archer starts out so strong. his accusations have a lot of merit but these women have charming defenses and they kind of disarm archer in his lawyerliness that he's trying to have outside i love to paul like watching this happen just watching him break just crumble piece by piece the threats he's trying to get across becoming weaker and less credible i can see you're not very experienced to making threats I'm a lot better at carrying them out. He's worried that someone could come attack them

based on the fact that the slave girls made a broadcast. And Navar's like, nobody's coming to attack you, baby? I can prove it. Why don't you just let me out of the cell? And it kind of seems like Archer is getting ready to push the button for that when Topal gets him to snap out of it for a second. I love the skulk off that he does after Topal breaks the spell. Yeah.

He is clearly upset at this. Yeah. Damn it. I mean, yeah, she had a good point. Fine, I'm going to go do the record now. And then he just leaves. And that leaves the makos there to stand guard. I got to say, if you're a mako and you're talking to other makos, I know you are, you got your own social circle over there, pretty bad assignment.

After what happened with Shran's girlfriend kicking the shit out of that other mako. This is a different makeo we've got standing guard here. You do not want this duty. No. Because you will not be pleasing that booty. You'll be getting your ass kicked. No, that booty will be making you say, please. Yeah.

Also, just like incredibly irresponsible of them to leave these dudes standing around with their guns after what just happened to Archer. They need to be outside that second window. Yeah. Because we see there's a couple. Air gap the makos from the pheromones. Absolutely. Archer sends to Paul to engineering, and she's like, no way, I got to keep an eye on you.

I'm the only person that can do that with any credibility that isn't Tripp Tucker. He's captaining while horny, and Topal knows it. Yeah. In engineering, folks are getting into fights. The trip has to break up. Yeah. And to Paul tells Tucker that he. He's immune to the pheromones because they made it.

He got her pheromones onto him. And now they've got a psychic connection, meaning that he has the immunity to them thanks to her Vulcan physiology. And he's like, oh, so that's what that daydream thing was. Yeah. I love this idea. Like all of his pheromone receptors are full of hers. Yeah.

They're plugged, basically, so no new ones can get in. That's it exactly. But the both of them are very worried about the captain because he does not have DePaul pheromones plugging his receptors. If you're tripped and you learn this in this scene, you've got to be hyper aware of anyone else who's immune on the ship. Because try to imagine if, like, Kelby was also immune. You're like, what the fuck, Tepal?

We were on a break. You just got a thing for chief engineers? What? I would be, I'd be hyper sensitive to that and just making sure that I was the only one also inoculated to this. Yeah. I was on Colobia for a month.

You think I laid a finger on Captain Hernandez? I didn't. Harad Sarr shows up and offers them a toe. Hell, I can get you tow by 3 o'clock this afternoon with Neil Polish. And Arj was like, hey man, no thanks. And her odds like, oh yeah, well, I do have to bring at least your head back. So it's going to be one or the other, you know.

I'd rather I didn't have to kill you, but that's what it takes. Yeah, I mean, the bounty remains and it pops off a space fight between the Orion ship and Enterprise. And this thing packs more of a wallop than that science ship from earlier. It really does. He's knocking out their weps left and right. He's moving away too fast. They don't have great maneuverability without the engines being online. So Tripp is like trying desperately to get more power to the thrusters by lowering how much energy is being sent to the gravplating.

And it's just, it's like, you know, they get some maneuverability, but they lose all of their phasers and their torpedoes. And the bangers stop suddenly. And then Harad Tsar grapples. the entrepreneur. How does it feel, Reed, to be on the other side of it? It's got to be so fucking insulting. Like, you know the grappler sucks

when you're the grappler ship, but to be grappled by another ship, it's like a bully like making you punch yourself in the face. It's got to be a bad feeling. Why are you hitting yourself with the grappler? Let me go. Let me go. Why are you hitting yourself?

With the tow cable attached, Enterprise can't break free because the cable is made of metal and Herod's ship is strong. I don't even know why the scientists make them. This is when Archer kind of puts it together. Like the trio of slave babes is not working for Harad. It's very much the opposite. He is under their pheromonal control just the same. What a moment for Herod Tsar to be over on the other side. It looks like he's working on some kind of.

of sandwich made out of the leftovers from the buffet they had before. Like, there was a big spread with like a roasted animal. He's working on the sandwich and he's like wiping his mouth with tissues. They never give you any napkins in this place. What am I supposed to use? He's like, I don't know what you expect me to do, Archer. My hands are tied. And here is the epiphany.

The men are the slaves. It's not the women. It's not the women at all who are slaves. It's the man. So Trip and DePaul noticed that the grappler is right above their deflector relay. So they can do something with that and they split up. Topal goes to the bridge. Trip has some more engineering to do.

And DePaul like enters the bridge and just starts working up on setting up this energy cascade that they're going to send through the grappler without really talking to anyone about it. But the slave girls, they show up on the bridge. Yeah. And they've got control over almost everybody now. They talk the guards into releasing them. They tell Archer to tell someone to imprison to Paul and Archer orders Reed to do it.

Tell me if you got a whiff of this in this scene. But there's that moment where like three sexy babes roll up on the bridge and they just want to party. There's something about Tepal and Hoshi presenting as like the stick in the mud kind of like not letting them do whatever they want sort of people on the bridge that make them feel like they're less fun and cool like why aren't they being chill about this

was sort of the vibe that I got? Yeah. What I'm trying to say is it doesn't make Tepal and Hoshi look good No. To get them off the bridge. It makes them look bad in a weird way. Because who would turn away party girls? You know.

Exactly. Take to Paul to the Bray. Yeah, I mean, is that just a social trope, though? It is, it is, but I'm saying, like, that's the programming of the moment. It's like by being down to business, by not wanting to have your bridge taken over by three Orion Party girls, you're seen as like a shrew or something. Right. Yeah. A wet blanket.

Right. Well, Trip comes on to the bridge. and starts licking shots. He hits Reed, he hits Archer, he hits Mayweather. Does not shoot any of the ladies. I was like, I mean, they're the invaders trying to take over your ship. Might want to consider stunning them. I don't think Mayweather should have been shot here.

I thought that was fucked up. What did Mayweather do? It's like being back in the way. Who are you? In some Travis Mayweather. Parents must be very proud. When I was a kid, call it the sweet spot.

Who are you? I'm the hell, man. I guess growing up a boomer has its advantages. And your mom? Very proud. That's true. Takes practice.

Other than keeping Anthony Mayweather up at night, I'm not sure what we expect to accomplish here. He didn't do shit. They shouldn't have shot him. How must it smell in that part of the ship he goes to

where the gravity is reversed? Yeah. Musky. Musky, indeed. Well, the ladies tried ganging up on trip, but it doesn't work. They, like, hit the trigger and the, the energy pulse goes up the thing and knocks out

Harad's ship. And we learn in the aftermath that the Orion ladies have been returned to Herod Sar. And in Six Bay, Vox reports that the pheromones are starting to wear off. Everyone should be okay pretty soon. Just the classic Star Trek conclusion beginning here that's like, Boy, that was a weird day in space, huh? Good thing that there are no consequences going forward. We can just write it off as its own thing.

Yeah. Captain's Log will not have anything about Tripp walking onto the bridge and shooting a bunch of senior officers. I mean, it's such a free-of-consequences-style episode. To Paul even makes a joke about how great it is to have women in charge, making the Orion's better than their reputation. in this case. Yeah.

That's pretty convenient for you to say to Paul as the one who was bought for the most money. I thought that could have been a phone bit of business throughout the episode

is like, not only is Topal impervious to the Orion Women's Charms, like she also has that above them in a class type of way. Right. And like, this is maybe a retcon, but maybe the

Rice went up so high because they were like, oh, like totally hot babe, but also without all the negative side effects that most hot babes in our part of space come with. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Tripp and Topal are left alone in the corridor. And they have a little chat about like, yeah, we were pretty good together. Like what we did back there was pretty awesome.

But trips heading back to Columbia. And they have this moment where he... He really, really needs her to say it out loud. She puts up a little bit of resistance, but eventually she does agree to say she wants him back in a sex way. Tripp teases her enough to make her kiss him. Smooji-smoo-mooching. What a moment.

And then he reveals he already asked for the transfer. He was coming back anyways. Tricks on you, DePaul. He can't stay away. Have you seen? Kelby's work, he fucking sucks. Can't have it. He's a lot better than blowing out EPS conduits than putting them back together.

I wonder if Kelby will remain a thing on this show. And like that tension is going to continue throughout the end of the series. He just becomes Trips lieutenant. If I'm Kelby, I'm considering this like a hostage exchange. Like, I'm absolutely going to Columbia. There's no way I'd want to stay on Enterprise after this. Yeah, that would suck. Well, did you like this very horny episode of Star Trek Enterprise, Adam?

I can't pay. Could for late. Got no case. Tempting fate. I think it's natural to know that you're going to watch an Orion episode and presume that it's going to be, like, horny for. all the wrong reasons, right? Like just red meat for the teenage horn dog, you know, who also like Star Trek. And so it's just going to be a lot of TNA without a lot of substance.

I think at its core, this is an episode that gives us some more backstory about the Irions in that who's really run on the show over there. I think that's useful and good. I like that it's like in a very kinky sort of way, too. Like it feels like, a power exchange game that has become part of their political structure in this weird way. I like that there are aliens in Star Trek that being around them can do a form of magic, can make you act against your interests or put you in their sway or whatever. Yeah. I like that as an idea.

I think it is a little unfortunate here that the sexy ladies don't present as a superintelligence, but instead are just sexy ladies with a magic power and a plan. Right. And I just kind of like it when the threat or the opposition species is more than that, when it's more than a magic trick, where it's like technology and intelligence. Right. And it's unfortunate that I think the episode doesn't confirm any sort of greater intelligence

by the Orion's. Instead, it's a brass bra and pheromones. Yeah. And they're just trying to get a bounty, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Archer, maybe if you weren't so good at busting out of prisons, people wouldn't want your head so bad. Maybe that price would be lower, you know what I'm saying?

Give it some consideration, you know? Which is higher? Archer's bounty or what they paid for Topal at the slave auction? Whoa. I want to know all this stuff. Yeah, and then Archer and Topal could have a little friendly rivalry over that. Ben, I got to tell you, if both of us were sold into slavery, I gotta know

I gotta compare our prices Oh come on I just do You've got it You're much higher price You know your higher price Yeah but you're taller If we're just judging on like

Like maybe we're bound and gagged And we're marched up there And you're just like Making a purchase price decision Based on how we look Yeah I think I'll probably paying more for you Just because you're taller

And I've got I'm like And they like Pull the rag out of my mouth To see what I'm trying to say I'm like You should hear his Charles Bronson impression. We're trying to gas each other up.

Because the one who pays the most is the worst slave owner. Yeah, yeah, come on. That guy, you don't want to go with him. Yeah. Ben's Kermit is awesome. Mine is terrible. I have one impression. One.

And I use it for everything. You'll get bored with me. But it's better than anything I do. What about you, Ben? I like the episode. I mean, I do think, like, ultimately it is, to some extent, just red meat. I think you have to, like, accept that this isn't going to be, like, all-time great track. This is not going to be the drumhead or whatever.

But, like, the world building it does with the Orion's is really interesting. And I think that the switch-em-up of who the real villain is is fun. in a way that like doesn't isn't super telegraphed and yeah you know like it's it's one of these episodes where it kind of feels like a shame that they couldn't do more with this premise now that they've established it because I feel like you need the episode to establish it and then maybe you can do the thing about how they're like hyper intelligent and using technology and interesting ways to right achieve their goals that aren't in alignment with the those of the federation I want to be clear like I'm not better than this

I mean, I am, I'm Floyd Gondoli and Boogie Nights. Like, I like simple pleasures. I like looking at an Orion slave girl just as much as anyone else. But, like, I kind of wish they were more than that, more than what we're getting at this point. Call me crazy. Call me a pervert. Yeah. I think that's a really well-made point.

Yeah. Do you want to see if there's anything better than an Orion slave girl in the Priority One inbox? Oh, that's hard to beep, Ben. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channel. You need a supplemental income. Supplement. Supplement. Supplement.

Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Okay, Adam, we've got a personal message here. It's from Bogwitch, and it's to Pharaoh-mir, and that's Pharaoh spelled like the Egyptian kind of Pharaoh. Not like a captain of Gondor. It goes like this. Rolled for romance, landed a Nat 20.

Still charting the expanse three years later. You are my favorite drunk Shimoda, the perfect mix of charm and mayhem on every mission. Latinam U. Ben and Adam, thank you. You've given us running jokes for time in the Miriam and a nerdy community that feels like home. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet.

Wow. Happy anniversary, Bogwitch and Faro Mier. That's awesome. I love it. It rules. I love a celebration of a great relationship. That's what you got. Mm-hmm.

Running jokes, the foundation for any long-term relationship, I think. Yeah. Professional or personal. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I was trying to come up with a pun involving Denethor. Mm. But I can't think of another ancient Egyptian specific to cram in there.

So. Dentut, Thor? Yeah, Ben. Me too Really racking my brain over here Yeah I'm coming up with a lot of ancient Egyptian references But just not not perfect for this use

You know sure yeah no I know the feeling That's what's happening to me as well Yeah I'm like self-censoring there Yeah We've got a personal P1 here From Dale Steltsfus In Lancaster Pennsylvania. That's what PA is, right?

Mm-hmm. Pennsylvania? That's what PA is. That's a state I want to ask me to get me my coffee. Are you thinking that the pronunciation guide that Dale Salzfuss has provided for? Lancaster is a Pennsylvania regional accent? I'm grateful that it is because I don't want to be on the other side of any Pennsylvanians, like football or otherwise. I don't want batteries thrown at me.

Dale Salt's foo's probably on a first name basis with Mayor of East Town. It's true. Mayor of East Town, the only media reference Ben has made in the last six weeks. Ben, this message is to you and me, and here's how that goes. After working third shift fast food for eight years. Whoa. I'm happy to say I've started a new career as an optician. O'Brien Drop.

I am Chief Miles Edward O'Brien This is fucking spectacular Thanks to you both For all the laughs P.S. Please consider reviewing space 1999 when you're finished with Enterprise Wow.

P.S. Wendy, you are awesome for the Knight of the Creeps Flame Thrower Requisition Drop in the Thing Boko episode. Hey, Dale, you should know that that was Rob's work there. a big, big fan of the thing

wanted to edit that episode, and he did a great job for us. He jumped on that particular grenade. A grenade that had a bunch of tentacles coming out of it, and like it looked like it had a weird face where the pin was. Yeah. Rob Adler and Wendy Pretty both great reasons to support what we do here via the medium of a Priority One message, which you can get at maximum fun.org slash jumbotron.

And hey, congratulations, Dale. That is huge. Hey, I fell skiing a couple of weeks ago and my glasses have been a little off. You think you could bend those back into shape for me, Dale? Thanks. Crickets. Make a triumphant return to the show. Hey, Adam.

What? Do you find herself a drunk Shimoda? Incredible. Drunk Shimoda! I was. a little bit surprised that Archer went ahead and availed himself of what was on offer here. You know, like, to Paul's message to him in his quarters, actually it was, it was like one of the Orion women's quarters that Archer went to go visit. Like, did not stop what happened.

There's a passage of time, elliptical edit here, where shit went down when Archer, uh, got back to the bridge, and I just thought that was interesting to have confirmation that it did not stop him at all from getting down with an Orion girl. It was like that scene in the wire where McNulty is on a sting pretending to be an English businessman, and he's left alone with the sex worker for a little too long. Yeah, I mean, it's doing Coke while you're undercover, that kind of sensibility. Yeah, indeed. What about you, Ben? My Drank Shimoda is the Mako in the dancing girls scene. There's one Mako like in the background of that scene.

And I was just like, man, like what a weird day at work for this guy. The Makos have weird jobs. Yeah. Faith of the fart. We have weird jobs too, Adam. And one of the weirdest parts of it is the way we determine how the next episode will go. Let me tell you about the next episode. It's In a Mirror Darkly, Part 1.

in the mirror universe Commander Archer mutinies against Captain Forrest against sexual icon against let me see BDSM sexual icon

Captain Forrest since it's the mirror universe yeah in order to capture a future Earthship found in Tholeon space I'm not saying BDSM is evil I'm just saying that

the mirror universe is BDSM coded Oh no You really did it, didn't you? Yeah, I fucked up That's God, that sucks Hey,

Rob and Wendy Maybe if you're listening to this You can start on like a first draft Of a quad box And then I'll kind of put some of my You know, I'll make it sound like it's coming From my voice

When we're done recording How about new? Well, maybe there's something We could do to distract from What just happened Gachda biz slash game That's where you could find something like that. It's where we keep the game of buttholes,

the will of the Riker Quantum Leap. Right now, our runabout is on square 15, and by the time I roll this die, we could be anywhere. It's true. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. Mirror Universe episodes should have Mirror Universe game boards. Oh, shit.

Ben, I landed on do hard drugs. Oh, Lover, hey. Oh, no. All right, so today on the show, I'll be snorting this. Well, I think it's cocaine, but there could be fentanyl in it. Who knows anymore? Drugs can make you feel good. Ben, I've rolled a 65.

Shula! Did I win? Hardly. Which puts us on square 80. That is a regular old episode. That is indeed, Adam. Wow. No law-breaking activity.

be done there. No mirror universe behaviors. Well, got to thank a bunch of people at the end of every episode. Of course, first and foremost, the Friends of DeSoto, who go to maximum fun.org slash join and become members.

Got to thank Wendy Pritty, our producer and editor. Got to thank Rob Adler, the editor-in-chief of the greatest newsletter and director of social media here at Uxbridge Shremota. Follow the at greatest trek accounts all over the place that he co-runs with the card daddy, Bill Tilly.

Got to thank Adam Ruggousia, who made all of our original music, and Dark Materia, who made the original The Card Song. But that will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise where Ben and Adam are doing that Lady in the Tramp thing where they like meet in the middle of a noodle, except for it's the middle of a long-ass rail of hard drugs. Looking forward to that. That'll be new. Make it so. Make it so.

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