The Greatest Generation - Friend Dead, Shitty Parking (ENT S1E21)

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

When Archer and Mayweather wake up in an internment camp, their preconceptions about the Suliban diaspora get shattered by the prisoners they meet. But when Colonel Grat comes down hard on the Captain’s sense of justice, the ambiguity of their escape plan goes completely unexplored. What does Kevin Uxbridge wear on a blind date? Which character could have helped this story? When is solitary confinement actually a reward? It’s the episode that’s pretty sure it’s better to be free to be fucked than to be not free to not be fucked.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

Friends of DeSoto, if you ever want us to come back to Wisconsin, you gotta come and see us now. Because we got a live show on October 3rd. Come see our live show about Sub Rosa, the TNG episode where Dr. Beverly fucks a candle, live in person. And we have some other really exciting news for those of you who can't make it in person to shows this year. We are going to be live streaming all three of our second

contact shows and those tickets are on sale now at greatest gentour.com. Supporters of Greatest Generation and Greatest Trek get discounts on these shows so check your email for maximum fun to get that special code. Do it! It's going to be a blast because it's always a blast so come see us live in Madison, Wisconsin on October 3rd and make sure you get streaming tickets at greatestgentour.com. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody.

Paramount owns the song. Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who's a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica. I'm Ben Harrison. I did something to us last time we rolled. I got us stuck with a Quirks bar episode, Adam. You did.

We could have landed anywhere and we landed here. Sounds like you're drinking, what is, do I hear a long drink cracking or something like that? So close. I packed my cooler. I have some long drink in there. I've got a couple of seltzers in there, but I'm starting out with just a good old fashioned

Coors Light. Oh man. One of the most conservative dollars you can spend in the consumer marketplace. Well, one of the most delicious dollars you can spend on a hot day. Sometimes nothing hits better than, than just a classic when the mountains turn blue. I've spent most of the morning outside, so I'm

ready to cool off with a Coors Light. How about you? I love it. You mentioned to me recently that you've been on a real gin and tonic kick, and it reminded me of how much I enjoy a gin and tonic. So that's what I'll be drinking today. I like the Topo Chico brand of seltzer, which I believe is owned by the Coca-Cola company these days. Extremely burbly.

Yeah. And they recently got into the cocktail mixer space with Topo Chico tonic water. So I'm trying that for the first time. But I'm ambivalent about, given that there are lots of cool small businesses trying to make fancy tonic water and now Coca-Cola is trying to crush them like the cockroaches they are to use a shark tank terminology. You and I had a brief encounter with a particular kind of bubble, speaking of verbally beverages. When we were in Vegas for Star Trek Las Vegas, we went to a great restaurant called Sparrow and Wolf. I have no reluctance about shouting out

this particular place. 10 out of 10. They might not want people to know that we go there. Place was awesome, but one of the awesome things about it was that it had a highball machine straight from Japan. And what this does is it had a highball machine straight from Japan. And what this does is it makes a specific kind of soda water with a lot of little bubbles.

The mouthfeel of these bubbles in this soda water is special. And I guess there's like less than 10 in the entire country. And they got one of them. You'd spotted one of the others in Seattle and you were like, oh, old friend. So fun. And the bartenders are so cool. They heard us talking about it and they were like pouring us bubbly waters to try out.

That was really delightful of them. I feel like that and long drink, you were way out ahead of the curve on long drink. I really was. You talked up long drink on the show years ago and now I feel like I see it everywhere. You used to never see it at all, yeah. Now Long Drink, a mainstream product.

I willed Long Drink into existence. A Long Drink hipster. You were into them when they were still doing their indie stuff. I know, I know. And now every dirt bag's drinking long drink like it's their drink. God damn it. I'm feeling celebratory though, Adam.

I got some really nice news to share with the friends at Asoto. How about that? Dorone is going to get a second of two. Pfft. A second of two. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. You're just gonna tell the FODs and me at the same time? Pfft. Pfft. That's great. Yeah.

That's how things have been going for you and me. Yeah, just, you know, it all seems fine in front of the camera, but behind the scenes, everything is falling apart. Wow, congratulations. I should have said congratulations before spitting out my coors, but what a thing. That's great.

Yeah, we're really excited. We gotta come up with a great Star Trek name for the second child. I know. Doron, so perfect. It really is. Yeah, of the many nicknames he goes by, Doron is among my favorite. Are you fucking done making kids after this?

Like to where we can start making plans again or what? I have four other guy friends who have all- I thought you were going to say four more kids to make. And I was like, God fucking damn it. I literally have four guy friends who have all recently with their special ladies conceived of their second children. And we have a thread going on like,

can we find a urologist that will do like a group discount on vasectomies? Yeah, stack up those sacks. Yeah, yeah. Just put all the dicks on like a paper cutter and get them all off all at once. Gotta do that. There's a Vegas urologist that specializes in the March Madness vasectomy wherein you go there, you know, probably a group of guys is just fine for them,

the group discount style. But then like they do it the first weekend of the NCAA tournament and then they set you up in a room. You're watching basketball with your buddies. You're putting frozen peas on your other peas. On your other buddies. It's phenomenal. Yeah, you should consider that. Man, I don't know how many sports fans we have in this group, but I would assume more than half. So maybe this is a temptation that, I mean, that's like right at the end of the run of babies. Like these are all babies coming between December and February. So. That is so wild that you all timed it out that way.

Yeah. Are all the women friendly? Like, do you think this was a coordinated effort? There's also like a group chat on WhatsApp for the pregnant mommies. And I asked my wife what it was called, hoping she would say, chicks that love to get dumped in. And she said, no, it's called Pregnant and Thriving. I was very disappointed by that. God, that is so fucking gross. How optimistic that is.

Pregnant and happy this time was one of my guesses. I think pregnant and thriving is very much put in a tongue-in-cheek way. Wow. What must that be like? I don't know. Yeah, I mean. To have that kind of hope. A certain different type of hope is being foisted upon some people in today's episode

of Star Trek Enterprise. Now, can't wait to find out what you're referring to, Ben, as we discuss Star Trek Enterprise Season One, Episode 21. It's called Detained. And in this cold open, Mayweather's down and hurt and sleeping on the floor next to Archer, who is not waking up. Do you think that Mayweather considered for a second if he fucked Archer? And he's like, oh, what did I do last night? I got so wasted. And then he looks over and the captain is sleeping next to him. He's like, oh no. Oh. Very, very little is made over the fact that

Mayweather attempts to wake Archer and he does not wake up. Like this could have been a moment that came with ominous music, but now. No. No, as the camera shot widens, we realize neither of them are on Enterprise. And when Mayweather opens the door, he sees two Sula-Bahn walk by.

What the hell? Yeah. Knowing what you know about the Sula-Bahn, do you think Mayweather's been read in on the whole thing? Because if I'm looking out that door and I see Suleybon, I'm turning back toward Archer like I'm starting to think of test questions. Right, right. What is like a beloved memory that the two of us share, but we've never talked about

with anyone else. Name something you know about me, Captain Archer. Yeah, I feel like there is a funny thing in Star Trek continuity, which is that they started to get really into the idea of shapeshifters around TNG. And then they were like, let's just have one in the cast around Deep Space Nine. But like, there's a shapeshifter in one of the movies, the Iman character. There's the Sula-Ban, there's Odo, there's like the princess and her caretaker, right?

The turn into crazy monsters on TNG. That's right. The Dauphin? The Dauphin. And I feel like every time they talk about them, they're like, they're the only species that can do anything like this. No one ever asked me to change shape, but I can. I can do anything. Many people feel that the shape I'm in is perfect for the kind of man I am. Just an old, sad man.

That's my shape. When you think of old and sad, you think of this. If you met me over the phone first and then met me in person, you would not be surprised. Like if we were on a blind date and we started out with a bunch of phone calls and then I said, I'm gonna meet you at the diner for an early dinner at like four o'clock. Look for me, Kevin Uxbridge, in a gold tunic.

I'll be wearing boots and I'll have several pieces of gardening equipment with me. And a gun that does not work. I will have already ordered us two cheese. So after the theme, Mayweather's on the loose and he's skulking around. I kind of like this freelancing he's doing and he can see a bunch of SulaBan walking around going about their business and it is in how casual the SulaBan are that is also a little bit weird about their business and it is in how casual the Suleyman are, that is also a little bit weird about their circumstances. There are no other humans that he sees. It's just all Suleyman all the time.

And he hasn't revealed himself to them. This has all been a sneak around in corridors and see them in their dirty lunchroom and stuff. And so he goes back and the groggy Captain Archer is finally waking up from their overnight tryst. And we learned that they were in a shuttle that was shot down. They don't know who shot them down or why.

Travis kind of describes the prison that they seem to be in and who is around. And pretty soon they're out of this room. Like it's not a cell, it's like they can kind of come and go within the confines of this area. But they meet a Sulaiman lady who, they start asking questions too. She seems pretty reticent to answer,

but then suddenly there's a klaxon and everybody's lining up outside their rooms. And some pretty tough looking dudes come in with like cattle prods and, you know, Star Trek alien uniforms that can only be the uniforms of fascists. Yeah, kind of a semi-breadbox situation happening with these uniforms. One of the guards takes a special interest with Archer and Mayweather telling them,

you don't belong here in this line, why don't you come with me? And into a room with Colonel Gratt is where they go. And Gratt would be familiar to anyone who enjoys the Quantum Leap program. The beloved Dean Stockwell plays Gratt. I'm Colonel Gratt. I'm Colonel Gratt.

I'm Colonel Gratt. I take it you're the man in charge. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh ho. Hi Sam, how's it going pal? Al, you scared me. He doesn't have his little Ziggy computer pad in this, which I felt like that would have been a fun, like what does it mean? He has a computer pad later.

Give him the Ziggy one. Make it just like a thing, you know? Make people ask questions. Both of our Enterprise crew people are kind of put on their back foot here because Gratt knows way more about them than either of them know about Gratt. And he refers pretty quickly to a military zone that the shuttle pod had wandered into. And that being the reason why they're being kept in detention. Because his people are at war with the Sulaaban

and if you're gonna imprison anyone anywhere, why not put them in the industrial complex that you already have assembled for the people you're throwing in there. And I love how Gratt is in the beginning at least. He's like, look, this is just an administration thing. We're kind of out in the middle of nowhere. Give us a couple of days, we'll set things right.

You're gonna cruise through this hearing. Not a big deal, but like hold tight. Got your back. Sorry, but my hands are tied. He is very complimentary of Archer's status as a starship captain. He's like, you're a much fancier prisoner than we normally get here and you shouldn't even be here, but there's a way things go and I'm not empowered to jump you out of here by any means. We learned that they have been taken many light years from where their shuttle was shot down and they're like, yeah, we didn't see anything that would indicate that that was a place nobody was allowed to go. You might think about putting up a no trespassing sign.

He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll get it all, you know, you're innocent, obviously, like the hearing will be in a few days, you're gonna get picked up by this transport that's coming and it'll all be sorted. And I'll, like, I can't even let you call your crew because of regulations, but I'll tell them, I can't even let you call your crew because of regulations, but I'll tell them so they know. I promise.

Cut to later in its gruel time. And later on in this episode, kind of a lot is made of what Mayweather thinks of the Chow. This is the second gruel episode Archer's gotten in like, what, the last four episodes? I would have loved to hear him compare and contrast Gruul's. I mean, I'll tell you one of the differences. They get spoons this time. That's nice. That's really nice.

It would have been fun if Mayweather had like one super long pinky nail that he was using. This is good. Like, what do you do with that Mayweather? Well, you know, worked on transports for a long time. And as, as you know, it's very boring in deep space. We get up to all kinds of hijinks. The prop master has set them up with water buckets that are the sort of steel buckets you get from a Pier One, like that you put like a very tall candle into or something.

I was thinking a barbecue restaurant might give you your check in one of these. Like the receipt comes out in the steel bucket. If you need, if you need a knife, a fork, and a spoon all mixed up with other knives and forks and spoons, you might have used one of these buckets at a barbecue restaurant. If you feel like the baked beans do have a bit of a galvanized steel taste to them, you might have eaten them out of a bucket at a barbecue restaurant.

Archer's like, out of water, I'm going to go get a refill out of this bucket. And so at the filling station, kind of seems like he's getting side eye from the Sula-Ban, right? And this is sort of an ugly scene that plays out here. He gets some side eye and then he sees a Sula-Ban kid incarcerated with the adults. And he has a confrontation with the kid's dad. Yeah. Kind of a real ugly display of parenting someone else's kid. Right.

In a public space that you get here. How could you let your child join a cabal? Cabals are bad. Children shouldn't be involved in that kind of thing. And the dad's like, no cabal, no cabal. I don't know how you prove a negative. And this is part of the challenge for all of these SulaBan, but he's like, I don't have genetic enhancements.

I can't slide under a door or whatever you've heard about people like me. We're just normal. I just look like this all the time. We're just normal SulaBan. We're just innocent SulaBan. And this poor guy in defending himself and his kid, he gets in trouble for talking to Archer.

Yeah. It's past curfew and these tough hombres come back in and Major Cleve is kind of the lead persecutor of Donic. He's like, yeah, you got to go to Solitary and sit this one out in the cooler. Amazing. He's not named Demar. Like, good job by you writing his name down. I would not named Demar. Like, uh, good job by you writing his name down. I would have discussed Demar.

I mean, non-zero chance it was Demar. Uh, the little girl gets taken back to wherever she typically sleeps by one of the other guards. Like it seems like there's a little bit of a like, okay, I get it. Like you don't, you don't have any control over this. You're, you're not being an extra super dick to me by Donnick. He's just like, okay, let me just go do my time in solitary. And Archer's like, whoa, man, what the hell? That was my bad. Archer's got to feel like two pieces of shit here. Like one for like getting in between a parent and a kid in public, but also getting this guy in trouble. That sucks.

Yeah. Seems like Gratt took his sweet time blowing in the call to the entrepreneur that he promised, because it's now past curfew and he's finally calling them up. And he's telling them about, oh yeah, so there's gonna be this hearing on Tandar Prime. I guess we've learned that these guys are the Tandarians. So the hearing is like right there in the center of it all. And they're invited there, welcome to attend this hearing. It's free, it's open.

It's like, you know, it's a real criminal justice system we have in the Tandar area of space. I mean, that part of it's open. It's like, you know, it's a real criminal justice system we have in the Tandar area of space. I mean, that part of it's open. What is not open to T'Pol is her request to speak to Archer or Mayweather here. Yeah. Gratt's like, no, that's not going to happen. I mean, here's directions to the place where the trial is happening, but like, that's all

you get. Maybe try to scratch up a country lawyer or something in the meantime. So Paula loves this idea and we do get to meet Vulcan country lawyer in this episode and he's like, now I am just a simple Vulcan. Maybe you can explain this to me, Colonel Gratt. Why do you think it's logical to lock up two members of Starfleet? A Vulcan Lord! It'd be better off getting the electric chair. He's wearing a bread box seersucker suit.

Pretty great. Here's one thing that we learned from this scene, that Colonel Gratt's signal is being scrambled in such a way that Enterprise can't figure out where the call originated from, which means that when Gratt gives directions to the trial, What T'Pol and Enterprise would really like to do is sort of like go to where they're at in the prison compound, but they can't because they don't know where Gratt called in from. And there's some conversation about like,

shouldn't we do a rescue mission? Like, do we have to play their game with the trial and so forth? Yeah, why get a Vulcan lawyer when we can get those Vulcan commandos from before? Those guys were sick. They were fucking blowing up walls and shit. Yeah.

Oh yes. So they're kind of in a limbo at this point about what to do. Reluctant to bring in a Vulcan lawyer, reluctant to do a rescue mission. So that's what they got. Back in the prison though, Archer runs into Danick the day after isolation. And he's like, look, man, it's not that big of a deal.

I've done that kind of time before. It's just a little cold sometimes. And Archer does not recognize the sort of fuck off, we're done here attitude that Danik has. Archer wants to be friends. And Danik understandably is a little reluctant about this. Yeah.

He repeats the thing about not being genetically enhanced like the members of the SulaBan cabal. And we learned very quickly that this is a sort of Japanese internment style situation. Sulaibon living within the Tandar controlled areas of space were kind of rounded up and put in these camps to keep them out of circulation while the Tandarans are at war with the Cabal.

How much could you have used a stitch of dialogue that went like, we're obviously not genetically manipulated. Do you think a prison could hold Sulaiman like that? Like I'd be slithering under every fucking door in this facility if I were enhanced. Like give me a fucking break. It does feel like a defense that he could mount. Yeah. But yeah, Archer's like, why doesn't the government

on your home world complain to someone? And we learned that the Sulaiman home world has been uninhabitable for hundreds of years. And this is sort of a we're the alien trash of the galaxy situation for these guys. Going to hit that long drink now. Oh, nice. There's a nomadic quality to the sulabhan that we learn about.

Given that they don't have a home world, they're just kind of spread out everywhere. A diaspora, if you will. And the picture that he paints is pretty grim. There's a lot of these little camps. There's a terminology that suggests a rounding up. And by that, I don't mean like you've got nine Sula-Bahn and you just sort of write down 10. I mean, you're taking the Sula-Bahn from where they're at and putting them into these camps. And it's a sad situation. Pete Slauson Archer is just kind of processing this when the midday inspection pops off and he gets

grabbed once again and hauled in front of Colonel Gratt. He gets a light rap on the knuckles for blowing curfew last night, and he's like, hey man, I may have blown curfew last night, but it seems like maybe this entire prison camp situation might not be entirely moral. And I'm starting to suspect that you're not on the up and up, Gratt. Gratt suggests that Archer maybe keep his opinions to himself and his curiosities to himself

and maybe mine the curfew hours if you can. Gratt's intelligence people are really on the ball. They've even learned of the existence to himself and maybe mine the curfew hours if you can. Gratz intelligence people are really on the ball. They've even learned of the existence of Oklahoma, Adam. I know. I don't even know about Oklahoma. There's a moment here that I think we should note before moving too far along, which is that Danek has a wife and he and his wife had attempted to apply to be put together in the same camp. And Danek's friend Sajan has a letter that tells Danek that

his request has been denied. And this is one of many of the like little injustices that are dropped throughout the episode that just make you think that this place sucks and the Suleiman are getting fucked over and things just aren't very fair for them. So, Gratt asks Archer about Oklahoma and the Broken Bow and the Klingon and like, it's impressive how much he knows, right? It's really wild. Like the Tendurian intelligence services are on the ball. Like they know stuff about like what Archer did with the Klingons that like probably most humans in Starfleet don't know. And it turns out like what he wants with Archer here in the camp is just like as much information as he can possibly give him about the cabal and their interactions with it, which seems surprising given how much information he already has. It's like, what else could Archer possibly tell him was

a question in my mind. I thought this moment was really interesting in how it constructed a self-fulfilling prophecy about how the Suleyban are getting stepped on because this argument gets pretty heated. Archer thinks it's shitty what's happened to the Suleyban and Gratz like, look man, the Suleyban, yeah, like it's not great what's happening to them, but if we left them out there, free roaming Sula-Bahn would be victims of Tandaren violence because of who they are. So it's actually safer for them to be in here. And if they were found by the Cabal as free roaming Sula-Bahn, they'd be turned into soldiers.

So this is actually the best place for them to be, given those two possible outcomes. We're protecting them from their own species and from us by depriving them of their freedom, is the argument he makes. This makes Archer stop answering any of Gratt's questions at this point. He's not into it. And Gratt's like, like, well, it's taking a really long time to get the information out of you that I was hoping to get. And yeah, if you missed that one transport, the next one's not here for like two more months. So that would be a real shame. Eee. Didn't like to hear that. That is a lot of gruel.

Yeah. So he calls the entrepreneur back to let them know that there's been a light delay, but he kind of undersells how long the delay might be when he's talking to them. He's like, yeah, like, you know, we're talking about a matter of extra days due to the vagaries of the legal system and how cases are prioritized or whatever. I really admire the Dean Stockwell performance in this episode because you really do get the code switch of prison guard assholery and diplomatic bureaucrat just trying to explain the bureaucracy and you know it sucks for everyone involved and that's kind of what he's doing in this scene in such a way that like the enterprise crew hears this and they're like yeah it sucks the

bureaucracy is shitty and we got to wait or whatever but once the call is over they're like all right we're not really patient anymore let's trace that call yeah so we can actually do something by choice, right? And they actually do get a location on this guy this time. And they're like, okay, here's the plan. Like, Tripp kind of pitches to Paul, and he's like, let's go, like, see what the situation is over there at least. And we can make a decision based on looking at

it from orbit. So it seems like T'Pol is convinced by this and off they warp. Faith of the fart. Cascading style sheets. Hypertext markup language. Pearl hypertext pre-cessing? JavaScript? Most of these terms are complete nonsense to most people. And that's just fine, because not knowing what those terms mean is not a barrier to entry if you would like to build a website. That's because Squarespace is out here with their Squarespace Blueprint technology. You choose from professionally curated layout and styling options, and then you are off to the races building your unique online presence from the ground up, tailored to your

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out. It's one hour a week and we drop it every Wednesday on naxamafund.org. Hello, Podcast Recommendation Service. Hello there, young man. I'm looking for a new podcast to listen to. Something amusing, perhaps. Oh, what about Beef and Dairy Network? Something surreal and satirical. Well, I would suggest Beef and Dairy Network. Ideally, it would be a spoof industry podcast for the beef and dairy industries. Yes, Beef and Dairy Network.

Maybe it would have brilliant guests such as Josie Long, Heather Ann Campbell, Nick Offerman and the actor Ted Danson. Beef and Dairy Network! I don't know, I think I'm going to stick to Joe Rogan. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award winning comedy podcast and you can find it the greatest gin alive. Ben would rather die. In the prison compound, Archer and Danick, which I gotta say, kinda sounds like a good second kid name for you, Ben. Doron and Danick.

If we name the second one Nicholas, I feel like it'll be a little too on the nose. Yeah. Anyway, they're having a walk and talk and Danick wonders why Archer won't just tell Gratt what he knows. And Archer says, that's just because I'm stubborn. And I don't like what I'm seeing around here. And also I have a question. Has anyone ever escaped? There was one time that some folks tried to escape because there's a docking bay on the facility and there's a bunch of SulaBan ships being kept there. But unfortunately, they were found and killed before they could leave. And Danik doesn't think anyone in prison there would be interested in escape given that.

Yeah, I mean, he doesn't hit this super hard, but all I could think about was these are civilians. It's like there's a lot of women and children and not that many men of military age in this cohort. Like, if the punishment for trying to escape is death, which is sort of what it sounds like based on his story. Like, do they really want to risk, like, his daughter, for example, on this plan that Archer is pitching him? – Back when we had a hit war movie podcast, I think we learned a lot about POW culture and obligation in such a way where, like, if you were taken prisoner, it is your duty to both please that booty and attempt escape. But I wonder if in a story like this, if only the Tandarans are thinking this is a war and

the Sulaibans are not in a way that means they don't have feelings of a similar obligation. You know? Yeah. I mean, these people were Tandaran citizens before this and don't have any political connection to the Cabal, so it seems like a really different thing. Back when you were briefly in prison, did you feel obligated to try to escape? I did, and I was working on getting a rock hammer, but we were only in there for like, you know, seven hours or something.

So I didn't quite finish my project. You could only tunnel three inches. We did have a guy with us who snuck a cell phone in, which was pretty cool. I don't want to know how that happened. I couldn't tell you. Hey, here's a question I had in this moment in time. Do you think Mayweather has some feelings about them having to stay longer than they'd anticipated

given how obstinate Archer has become and giving Gratt any information? Like there's not a lot of conversation between Archer and Mayweather in a strategy kind of way. Right. If I'm Mayweather, I'm probably still assuming that we're gonna leave in two days. Does Mayweather's rank matter to him? I bet it does.

Relative to Archer when they're locked up like this? Like, he could be thinking about, like, maybe this is the rest of our fucking lives. And I keep trying to, like, make friends with Suleybon, and it's not going well. Yeah. That's one of the missteps this episode makes, is that for a Mayweather plus Archer episode, it's not very Mayweather plus Archer.

Mayweather is almost totally left out of it in a way that I think could have really enhanced it if there'd been, like, a conflict like that between them, where Mayweather is almost totally left out of it in a way that I think could have really enhanced it if there had been like a conflict like that between them, where Mayweather was like, hey man, like this is getting really serious and there's not really a lot you can do when we're locked up like this. And it would be a good look for Archer

to care about a junior officer in any way at all. But that's not happening here. No. There is a scene where Mayweather tries to befriend Sajan, the guy who gives the letter to Danik. And I don't love a non-black actor describing racism to Mayweather. I'm just gonna say that right now.

Like this scene made me cringe pretty hard. Even when he's in all the uh, the knockdown stucco of a, of a sulabon. Now when you're trying to have a deep conversation about race with a non-white prisoner, you're gonna want to aim the knockdown on your face and neck and follow up with a non-white spray paint. We're putting on a smooth layer then flicking another layer of the plaster, letting it dry briefly and then running a trowel over it to get that texture. As a renter for like decades, I wish I had known about Knockdown sooner. Because like if I'm making holes in walls, I'm just like using the filling putty and I'm painting

and that never looks right. And Knockdown is so easy to use. I wish I knew about it sooner. Yeah. It's upsetting. It's really the worst thing that the building industry has ever come up with, texture-wise. It's fucking horrific. I hate looking at it. It's a test.

Yeah. So Archer gets his hands on a communicator, which gets beamed down to him by the entrepreneur, which is now in orbit. That's pretty great, right? Yeah. He starts talking to his crew. They're like, great.

Well, obviously, non-zero chance your guts end up on the outside of your body or whatever, but we can beam you up straight away. And he's like, no, there's an injustice down here. We need to see this thing through. I'm going to help the Suleyman escape before I get back to the business of being captain of a starship. For some reason, just the longest possible leash is what Archer is on here.

Because T'Pol is acting captain here, I feel like she could snap her fingers and beam them right up. I also was just thinking about like, are the humans not at war with the Sula bond like the Sula bond Attack them every time they interact like aren't they sort of the natural allies of the tan darins seems that way You know, even if they don't necessarily Entirely endorse the way the tan darins are conducting themselves

That's her to like it felt like Admiral Forrest getting on the phone with Colonel Gratt could have solved all of these problems almost immediately. We can't have an Admiral Forrest in a moment like this. It just takes too much of the anxiety energy and turns it into sexual energy when he's on screen. They try to sell Sajan on this escape plan. This is an interesting scene, because he's like the only one that's like,

yeah, what about the kids that we have here with us? Like, are we gonna do this with them? What about the tremendous risk it places them in? Won't somebody please think of the children? Yeah. But I think he like eventually sort of agrees to the idea of the plan and Archer gets grabbed and hauled in front of Gratt again.

Don't you like the scene that happens here between Denik and Sajan that gives you that conflict of what are you doing Denik? Yeah. You don't even know this guy. Yeah. You don't even know this guy and this guy's gotten you solitary confinement with his bullshit before. Like, why don't you let this one go and keep to yourself? I think Sejin is actually a good friend. He makes the case of like, he could be a Suleyman. He could be one of the bad ones,

you know? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. But Sejin refuses to involve himself in this situation, the idea of escape specifically, and D'Nic stays in it. He remains open to the idea. And the next day Archer meets with Gratt, who wants to know if he'll reconsider telling him what he knows about Scyllic, which is a name we haven't heard in a long time. Yeah. And what he might know about some strange energy readings coming from his quarters. Oh. What do you know about that, Archer? Gratt was very happy to learn about Sillick's bad teeth, but very cranky to learn about

Archer's communicator. And that is presented right as Mayweather is hauled in, and it's clear that Mayweather has been roughed up quite a bit. You gotta keister that communicator, Mayweather. You fucked up. You gotta pull what the guy I was in jail with pulled with his cell phone. And I don't know what exactly that was, but you didn't do it. You blew it! You gotta keister the StarTac, Mayweather. That is like a real downside of the fabletification of all phones. It's harder and harder to stick

up your butt. You're going to get some tearing with a phone of this size. Oh man, and if your screen is cracked, you know? Yeah, that's no good. Archer sees a bloody Mayweather and one might assume that he wouldn't have feelings at all about that. But he does protest the beating and gets a cattle prod for his trouble and the punishment, isolation for Archer.

They don't even give him a baseball to throw against the wall. I know. You never see isolation and him a baseball to throw against the wall. I know. You never see isolation and I kind of wanted a shot of it. I guess you see it later when Reed gets him, but yeah, it's just a... It looks like the other rooms. It would have been cool if it was something or anything. I'm a couple drinks in, so I feel emboldened to share a take like this. Okay.

I mean, but you've been in jail before, you probably have a valid opinion, whereas mine is just a guess. I feel like solitary would be good for me. I feel like in a weird way, that would be a reward. Keep me away from these people. You want to be in like the asylum that Hannibal Lecter is in, like one down from the guy that flings cum

through the bars of his cell. I mean, I don't want to be in cum range, but I do prefer to be by myself, I think. Yeah, I would want to be out of earshot so that Lecter couldn't convince me to swallow my tongue Yeah Yeah, that's no good the late great RSVP

On enterprise the rescue plan is reviewed in a McLaughlin group. Issue one. Between T'Pol and Tripp Tucker. And Dr. Flax is also working on a thing that we can't see quite yet, but it's clear he's making loaf. Yeah. The POV is of Flax lasering the camera. They're getting ready to mount a rescue plan. I really

liked how... We got you drinks with burbles, didn't we? Oh, fuck. I'm sorry. We got to give you a flat cocktail. I could have, I should have made one. I didn't think. I'm stupid. What's a good flat cocktail? The Dacquery, the best cocktail. It is the best cocktail.

That's good. Did those little bubbles at the highball dispenser, did those just fuck you up? That was just teeny, teeny burps. You couldn't even detect them. My friend is dead. That machine killed him. Your Yelp review of Wolf and Sparrow.

It's like, food was delicious, service was excellent, friend dead, shitty parking. Yeah. No, I was going to say, like, I really liked, in this episode, how we get lots of territorial shots of the prison complex. We get people's, like, hand-drawn renderings of the prison complex

when we're seeing like their plan come together on the inside. And we also get to see it on the like tactical computer where they have their McLaughlin groups on the entrepreneur. And I felt like that was kind of unique, like that many different renderings of a place in Star Trek and they all look alike, you know? I like that a lot. Yeah, that was cool.

So Grant gets on the viewer and he's like, hey, what the fuck are you doing in orbit? You shouldn't be here. Like I told you specifically to go to my home world and await trial there. I got chips, man. I'm gonna shoot you down. Just a real classic,

someone who doesn't respect the process telling someone else that they doesn't respect the process, telling someone else that they need to respect the process when things don't go their way. Yeah. It's real shitty. Where was Gratt on January 6th? I know. Yeah. In the compound, Sajan is horrified at Mayweather's face. Jesus, what happened to your face?

I knew it. See, Richard. I mean, you don't have to be human to take a look at that thing and think, that's got to hurt pretty bad. He was so beautiful, and they destroyed him. They destroyed my beautiful boy. He's resentful about having to take a beating for folks who don't care about

what they're trying to do to help, and accuses Sajan of reverse racism, which... Yikes! they're trying to do to help and accuses Sajan of reverse racism, which yikes. Because humans look so much like Tandarens and at the end of the scene when Mayweather storms off in a huff, I'm like between this and having racism explained to Mayweather. Yeah. Look, we've talked about for a long time, how

much we wanted more Mayweather storylines. I might've just preferred Mayweather not to be in this one if this is what it was gonna be. This is peak white guys making a TV show about social issues in 2002. Yeah, it's rough. Yeah, not great. T'Pol invites Gratt to dinner

as he gets more and more saber rattly with her. She's like, yeah, I'm just like, our chef again. Phenomenal chef. You are not gonna believe the food that this guy is delivering on and I just need to know your dietary prefs or if you have like a nut allergy or whatever. And you can see like veins popping in Dean Stockwell's head and he's so mad at this. You have 45 seconds to leave orbit. I can't believe you're really going to destroy our vessel he's so mad at this. You have 45 seconds to leave orbit.

I can't believe you're really going to destroy our vessel over a trivial incident like this. There's kind of a magic trick that Jolene Blaylock does here. I think maybe that isn't magical at all, which is like, there is no suggestion by her that Gratt picks up on that this could be a romantic situation.

But T'Pol is so attractive and so welcoming when she describes this dinner that it's weird to me that Gratt doesn't perceive this at all, right? Like, he is all business all the time. And when, when a dinner invite is extended, there's not any part of him, wiener or otherwise that is interested in having a meal with her. The Dean Stockwell of quantum leap would never miss these cues. Yeah. So he's playing against type. It's true.

What this conversation does, the longer to'Pol talks, is it's like a conversation dump that precedes a data dump. Because when the dinner invitation is not accepted, she's like, all right, well, I think you should know everything about human and Vulcan history. Ever. Yeah. Before you make a decision about dinner, maybe you should know what you're saying no to.

Yeah. Have you read the great novels? I think you should read the great novels before you turn this down. Here all of them are. And like, you see his computer screen start to go crazy, and then you see the view screen start to go crazy. It's pretty clear that they are just like data bombing him. It's like a distributed denial of service attack on Gratt.

It's weird, like the one cover of a book that you see in this giant book dump, it has like an exploding volcano on the front. If you have any doubts about our intentions, this material should lay them to rest. It's fucking nuts. So it gums up the work so bad that the FaceTime even falls apart.

And that's when Tripp tells to Paul that he's finished beaming something away. And that's when to Paul orders Enterprise out of orbit. And in the cell, Mayweather hears a knock at the door and it's Reed and he's in Sula upon loaf. And he came down via transporter and that's a pretty big deal too, right? Cause Reed doesn't like the idea of having traveled that way.

And guess what? I got a duffel bag full of phasers. Feast on this. So none of these guys know about transporters. It seems like. It seems like that. Yeah. Up in orbit, the enterprise gets chased by a couple of ships, which are amazingly vulnerable to the torpedoes that they carry aboard the Entrepreneur.

It's intentional that we don't see an exterior shot of these torpedoes hitting. Yeah. Because we don't have the footage of a torpedo hitting a ship and having it be successfully damaged. Did you think that they were trying to like hedge on whether or not the pilots of those ships bought the farm here? successfully damaged. Did you think that they were trying to like hedge on

whether or not the pilots of those ships bought the farm here? They were like, oh yeah, they're like struggling to make landings in a way that was like, I feel like sort of trying to keep the enterprise above board morally in a weird way. Yeah, I mean, that was irritating. Either these guys are the enemy or they're not. I just see things black and white. No kidding.

Like that, Ben. Yeah, but if it was a thing where they were like, I mean, we were forced to kill a couple of people to put things right on this illegal prison planet, I think that that's a much more interesting moral quandary for them to grapple with later. I mean, speaking of grapplers, it seems like this would be a great mission for that, right? We see Enterprise dropping through the atmosphere.

We're like, I was rubbing my hands together. It's grapple time. But that's not what it is at all. Instead of shuttle pod blurbs out of Enterprise and trip-tuckers at the controls. He's going to do a strafing run. Meanwhile, one of their notorious inspections is popping off down in the prison and Major Cleve and all his jackbooted thugs are roughing up these perfectly innocent Sula bonds and they notice that there are a bunch of

like shape charges on a wall down the hallway and they go down there to take a look at those and a perfectly circular hole gets blown in this wall. Absolutely flawless demo work by Reid here. It is a Kool-Aid man shaped hole, for sure. It's great. Run the explosives. Hopefully they're exotic for lucky. Yeah.

Pretty fun. Up above, Tripp does a strafing run and I love like the gun turret that we've seen in the exterior shot five or six times this episode. Gets blown real big. I love seeing the turret go up. Yeah. I would have put that on the other side, like near the hanger with all the

potential escape craft, if I were the Suleyban. Yeah, just a note. Or the, uh, not that Suleyban, the Tendaren's. But yeah, a bunch of guard towers go down, like trip strafing run, flawlessly executed. It's great. like Tripp's strafing run flawlessly executed. That's great. The whole idea of this bomb exploding is to create an escape path for the prisoners, right? Right. There's like the prison and then there's the hanger.

Yeah. And they've got a hundred meters to run to get to the hanger. I mean, we see this out the window of Tripp's shuttle, which I really loved, just like the dots of people running across the plane. Yeah, that's great. To get to their escape things. And then Gratt comes to Archer in his solitary confinement and is getting ready to rough him up and makes a case to him that like,

you think you're helping these people and you are not. Like they are so fucked behind what you have done here because they're gonna go out there It makes a case to him that you think you're helping these people and you are not. They are so fucked behind what you have done here because they're going to go out there and either be forced into being soldiers or killed by my own people. He's a true believer in what he's doing here. I think you could be generous in saying if you believe what he's saying to be true about the Suleiman, then if you believe in Archer's intention, it is better to be free to be fucked than to not be free to not be fucked.

I mean, that feels right to me. Like I wish that this episode had grappled a little bit more with ambiguity there because- No one shoots the grapplers this episode. No. No grapplers, no grapplers, only Gratt. Reed comes and bonks Gratt and they lock him up as the SulaBahn escape in the shuttle pod. The Enterprise crew are all heading back

to the entrepreneur. And we learn, like it is now canonically true that being SulaBahn is as itchy as it looks, because Reed is going fucking nuts. Yeah. Ugh. I wish we got the Mission Impossible style rip of the loaf off. That would be fun, right? Yeah.

No one's ripping loaf in Star Trek, though. Yeah, like it seems like whenever they do this, it's done surgically and not with foam rubber, you know? Yeah. At the end, I feel like Archer's only modestly optimistic for them. He's like, yeah, like they're gonna probably make it out of Tandaran space,

but whatever happens to them after that, who fucking knows, man? Maybe it's better than prison or maybe not. probably make it out of Tandaran space, but whatever happens to them after that. Who fucking knows, man? Maybe it's better than prison or maybe not. Isn't it such a war of adventure sort of sensibility? Like, well, we didn't really have an escape plan. We didn't really have a strategy for getting the troops out. But, yeah, not in our hands anymore.

Not my problem now. Yeah. Did you like this episode, Ben? I think on balance I did. I think that there were a few moments where I was like, that is not the best turn that this episode could have taken at this moment. But yeah, the Dean Stockwell team up was a lot of fun. I liked complicating what seems to be the big bad of Enterprise up to this point. Sulaiman are not monolithic in their support of whoever the bad guys are in the temporal Cold War.

And there are lots of people that are just getting fucked over by whatever is going on with that. That feels like, uh, like, for as many, like, totally unsophisticated, like, racial takes as this episode had, I feel like that is actually pretty shrewd, like, to point out that, like, whenever anything happens like this, most of the people are just trying to live their lives and are getting fucked over by, like, political forces that are way more powerful

than any individual. Mm-hmm. So, um, yeah, I think on balance, I, uh, I liked it. How about you? I might not be a smart man, So yeah, I think on balance, I liked it. How about you? I might not be a smart man, but I know what racism is. And I don't like how transparent the racial comparisons are. I think Star Trek is praised for its work in this area. But I think when the arguments are this simple and the

comparisons are this straightforward, it's just- They could have let us do the math on the Japanese internment situation. They actually say it out loud in the episode, which is kind of unforgivable. I think Star Trek is at its best when the things are great and not so cut and dry. Like our favorite episodes I know are like that where it ends like, damn, tough one, morally. I don't know. And I think this episode attempted to do that

with Archer kind of throwing up his hands. Like we really fuck shit up back there. Who knows what's gonna happen now? Like that's kind of a cop out. And I guess I'm, I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth by, by calling out a cop out and also criticizing direct racial comparisons to contemporary society. But there's gotta be something better than that, I think. And that's why this episode didn't totally work for me.

I think that's totally fair. However, you're wrong. Let's check the Priority One inbox and see if there's anything in there that's right. Three racist Priority One messages here, Ben. Oh no. Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel. Need a supplemental income. Supplemental income? Supplemental. Supplemental. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel. Need a supplemental income.

Supplemental income? Supplemental. Supplemental. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship. Gonna start with a commercial message. How about that? Their message goes like this, we wanted to throw some scarves your way as a thank you

for your amazing continued work on The Pod. We also wanted to give a shout out to Wendy. The drops you find for the Epps are hilarious and your production results in a polished podcast that maintains the fun character of the original show. But I guess since we paid for the promotional message, might as well plug the orchestra I play in. If you're in Seattle, check out the Puget Sound Symphony Orchestra.

Concerts are fun, good, and cheap. And if you would like to go to one, go to PSSO.org to see the concert schedule. Or to check out the Puget Sound Symphony Orchestra on YouTube. Wow. You know, David and Laura sent this message in. They did not tell us what chair they occupy, what instruments they play. Yeah. Nice plug for the orchestra, but I would have liked a little more detail about their lives

as orchestra folks. Couple of oboists who are very modest, is what I can only assume. Yeah. Wow, thank you David and Laura. And yeah, since we're not touring in, I mean, if we were touring in Seattle this year, I would say save your money, go to a Greatest Gen live show.

But since we're not going to be there this year. Those fat cats in the orchestra don't need your hard earned ticket dollars. PSSO.org, that's awesome. Yeah. Adam, our next P1 here is from Brian and it's the Ace! It goes like this. Ace! I love this pod.

Why didn't you tell me about it sooner? Happy birthday and thank you for putting up with me for the six years before I became a Friend of the best boss you ever had and actually understand your Miriam greatest gen references It's been a long road getting from there to here LLAP You're part of the show now. Love you lots. Wow. That's great. Great job by Brian in enshrining this. Recognizing the enshrinement that a priority one message is. Yeah. Indeed. Ace, sorry we're like two and a half months late for your birthday.

Yeah, why didn't we get to it sooner? Brian knows what that's like. Seems like we're really stocked up on P1s. But I'm looking out, it looks like starting in November? A lot of availability. So, I mean, we're recording this a month ahead of time, so who knows by the time we get there. But this is a great reminder, get your P1s in early if you're trying to hit a specific target date.

If you think something, write something in a P1 message. Ben, our final priority one message is from Sarah, it's to Ben and Adam. Her message goes like this, Dear B&A, I want to join the many before me in thanking you for being a beacon of joy and light through these challenging times. If you could have any job on any of the Trek starships or space stations, what would it be? Love to you both and love to all Friends of Deshoto everywhere. Yours in Trek, Sarah from Maine. Sarah from Maine. Man, you gotta do a live show in Maine sometime. Yeah, as far north as we've been,

northeast as we've been was Mass Mocha, right? I think so, yeah. Thank you for that question, Sarah. I think if I had a job in Star Trek, jumjistic dealer on the promenade feels like it would be kind of a front row seat to a lot of fun shit. And you're just bringing joy to people's lives so I kind of like the idea

of that. God my reflex was captain of the flagship of the fleet. That sounds stressful as hell Adam. But then I was like independently wealthy person who's coming through DS9, like ready to gamble and hang out, that sounds like pretty good job to have. The good thing about a moneyless society is almost everybody from the Federation coming through DS9 counts as independently wealthy. Yeah, but I'd wanna be extra wealthy on top of that.

You wanna be like Ferengi wealthy. Exactly. I like that a lot. You don't have to be wealthy to get a Priority One message. You can go to maximumphone.org slash Jumbotron and for one easy payment, you can get a personal or promotional message to get the word out about a thing you're interested in or a project you're working on and both types of P1 messages go a long way in supporting the production of our show.

Hey Adam. What's up Ben? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? Incredible. Drunk Shimoda. This is a tough one for me. I think I just want to point out the solid that Sejian tries to do for Danick in a,

hey, we're in prison and we kind of need to watch out for each other. Yeah. And you're kind of screwing this up for yourself and you're a parent. Yeah. So tighten it up. And maybe that means that my Shimoda is Danick for

being a single parent in a prison facility and constantly fucking up your situation and being willing to fuck it up. Yeah, yeah, no, it's not Sajan, it's Danik. Wow. That's my drunk Shimoda. What about you? I mean, Danik was an academic before he came.

Like he's kind of an ivory tower type. He's not used to the like practical realities of the world. So maybe he could be forgiven for that. But my drunk Shimoda is Colonel Gratt, Dean Stockwell. Just so fun to see him. I would have been despondently disappointed in the people running the show if they hadn't stunned Cass Stockwell

in an episode of Star Trek Enterprise. You gotta do it, right? Like, and they gave him like a juicy part. They didn't do him dirty like Tom Bergeron or so many other that guy actors that they've had on this season already, where they gave them like one or two scenes eating chicken and then they're gone.

Yeah. Yeah, they really fucked Tom Bergeron over, didn't they? Stockwell got an arc, you know? Yeah, good for him. And he was like an interesting, juicy villain. So fun. Yeah. So yeah, he's my drunk Shemoda.

Honorary. Faith of the fart. Ben, let's see if something interesting and juicy is coming up on the next episode of Greatest Gen. Yeah, why don't you head to gach.biz slash game and fire up the game of buttholes. The will of the reicher quantum leap. Well, I tell you about season one, episode 22,

Vox Sola, when a strange symbiotic alien creature boards Enterprise and captures several crew members, it's up to Hoshi to decipher the creature's complex language. Uh, who? Hoshi? Hoshi. Seems like it's been a long time. Yeah. Since we've heard anything from her.

She did like a couple of updates about signal intensity or whatever in this episode. So it'll be good to get her back in the driver's seat on an app, I think. Ben, so many strange ways to experience this episode. Let's see if we land on another like we did today. Currently on square 32 is where our runabout is. And I'm gonna roll a hundred sided die

to see where we end up next. Okay. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. I went backwards by 10. We're on square 29. It's a regular old episode. Tula!

Did I win? Hardly. Okay. And that's how it will be. Reg Epp, love it. Yeah. Well, I also love the friends of DeSoto who support our show. It is a big hump to get over going from listening to something for free to listening to something

that you pay five bucks a month for. We really try to make it worth it with those special monthly bonus episodes. And I think if you really love this show, you will see there is a lot of value in supporting programming that you appreciate. MaximumFun.org slash join if you'd like to join the Miriam Friends of DeSoto who have already taken that leap. We also got to thank Windy Pretty, our beloved producer and editor who takes most of my burps out of the episodes so that they don't sound too gross for all the mesophones listening. You know, there's a meme where it's like if Gen X edited the video and it's all inhalations.

You've seen this, right? Oh, I have. You haven't? I don't think so. Okay, well there's, businesses are getting hip to this meme where it's like, if I hired a Gen X person to edit my video, it would be nothing but, like all of the dialogues edited out

and it's just the inhalations. I feel like there's a Ben edit by a Gen Xer that's just- Savage. Oh! Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Just a bunch of burps. You should hear my parents.

They're way worse than me. I believe your parents are worse than you. Ha ha ha ha ha. I absolutely do. The number of times I've sat down to dinner with my mom and she hasn't had water go down the wrong pipe and needed to, like, hold her hands up over her head while she coughed I can count on two hands.

God, just incredible. What we're having to deal with parent-wise. What the fuck. We gotta thank Bill Tilly, our temporal Cold War time consigniary, who's making trading cards which you can find on the At Greatest Track social media accounts. He wrote a great piece for our recent mailing list issue, which you can sign up for at gach.biz slash mail or at podschop.biz, that mailing list, and all of our social media accounts run by Rob Adler, our social media director who has really made those a super fun thing to follow. I highly encourage you to follow at greatest track, whatever social media site is your

fave. We got to thank Adam Ragusea. I was just going to say that. Yeah, the goose. Yeah. Big part of our show for years. He's made so much music for us. Creator of our theme and interstitial music,

Dark Materia is the creator of the music you're hearing right now. Always going to be our credits music, I think. And with that, we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an episode of The Greatest Generation Enterprise where it might take Hoshi for Ben and Adam to understand what each other are even saying this time. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so.

Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so.