The Greatest Generation - Friendship Bidet (VOY S5E12)

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

When a holographic war breaks out on Planet X, Captain Janeway gets into character to help unstick the ship. But with the safeties permanently off for the visiting photonic gangsters, an alliance with Captain Proton is their best chance to defeat Chaotica. How far down does the Bolian bifurcation go? Could Fek'lhr’s Robot ever learn to love? Who is the sexual Milhouse of Voyager? It’s the episode that brakes for goth girls!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice. Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage. Watch your back shot. Hello. I'm Captain Captain Bringingway. The U.S.S. Boardhead Captain Captain Bringengwe the U.S. Boardhead

U.S. Welcome to the greatest generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are just a little bit embarrassed. I have a Star Trek podcast. I've been Harrison. I'm Adam Kranica. My watch said I took a hard fall just now. Oh, because you clapped?

Yeah. I must have clapped really hard. I've never seen that before of you. Dude. Is it possible that your watch could tell that you were about to start recording an episode of a Star Trek podcast and it was like, maybe I should call somebody that can help. Yeah, maybe you'd be happier in a hospital. I have had that before.

I forget what triggered it. My watch says it looks like you've taken a hard fall. Whoa. But it was something similarly not a fall. Were you wearing it while jerking off? Well, I wear my watch on my left hand, my dominant hand by many measures, but... You know what, I would have guessed that you jerked at European. Personally, I'm really surprised by this. I lost a lot of money on what hand does Ben jerk off with? Is European between the thumb and forefinger and American between the index finger and the middle finger, like the way we smoke our cigarettes differently?

Oh, wow. Yeah, no, I wasn't thinking about it that way. No, that might be. I guess I was thinking of it in the driving on the other side of the road thing But that's not European. No, that's that's English. I they were European for a minute But then they stopped yeah because a bunch of old assholes Cast votes over there the joke doesn't make sense. Yeah, none of it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah So anyways here we are.

Good start. Good start by me. Just hitting the old joke, Pommelhorse. Yeah, yeah. I think we caught an attempted attack by the stupid glitter person. Caught it before it started, nipped it in the bud.

I thought we weren't going to talk about this on the show.'m just saying like don't even try it at this point because it's it's a you're not gonna get him past the goalie We or wise to that one person You really you really don't know how to deal with this do you? like I hope you like receiving more and varied vehicles for glitter at your house because that's what you're going to get. Well, you're going to be starting to pick up the PO box after this episode. So that's part of my insurance policy. I'm throwing all those packages away between the post office and my house.

Well, I'm saying our system is good. And I'm proud of our team for having come up with a good system. Oh, yeah. Flahless system. I really like was being charitable that this was a person that, you know, made an attempt at a joke that just didn't land right. It was an asshole the whole time. Yeah, I mean, this is what happens. You appease assholes and maybe project good intentions

onto assholes when they're just assholes the whole time. Yeah. They always have been. It is very hard for me to believe that someone is truly an asshole, but they're out there. People that are bad at their core are out there. I have the opposite problem. I have a hair trigger, asshole meter, and I fucking drop those idiots just as soon as I get the chance.

And never speak of or to them again. Yeah. it's pretty diabolical of you. Yeah, well, I've got great ass hole hygiene. I got fucking friendship, but they shoot an all up in there, man. Yeah, I've seen your bidet work. Does the trick it's remarkable. It keeps my workplace glitter free. I'll tell you that much Mm-hmm. You're saying that like my naevite is why my is you're blaming the victim here No, I'm not but the next time it happens I think I'll dry perfectly straight line from that moment to this conversation

Wow, it's nice to know that I work with somebody that has this much respect for me as a person. I have the utmost respect for you as a person. I just, I'm incredulous by the idea that bringing it up could do anything but harm. I think the friends of the soda deserve to know that an attempt was foiled. And this person deserves to know also that they didn't work.

So knock it off. All right. The world's most boring villain, even more boring than a fucking holodeck villain in today's episode, so I think we're talking about it. It's like, this is your fucking troll, really? Yeah. It's so sad. It's so sad at the end of the day. Yeah. We're trying to make a comedy show

and you turn it into a tragedy show. I think you're giving this person too much power, Ben. I don't think of them at all. All right. Well, do you want to just record a different merit? I mean, it seems like you're sad about this. No, I'm not sad about it. I just...

You're sad that I brought it up. I don't want it to happen again, and I think the only way to ensure that possibility or increase the chances of that is to just ignore it entirely. All right. Well, we can... Let's go back to the beginning and re-record. This feels like an exciting gamble.

I didn't know you were the gambling type, Ben. I like the idea that if somebody is going to troll us, be interesting at least, you know. Oh yeah, this person did not rise to the occasion. No, no. They fell flat on their face. And also, I don't want to know what their version of interesting is. This is the challenge I'm trying to avoid, Ben.

All right, so let's re-record. I don't, we don't need to re-record. Fuck it. Let's just talk about the stupid episode of Star Trek. Spicy Marin! And then we'll see if we ever record another one again. Hmm. I stay except today. I think it's gonna be a good one, based on the Star Trek Voyager Season 5 episode 12.

Bright of Chaotica! Exclamation point. Exclamation point at the end. Yeah. Reaver course. Unless you've got something a little bigger in your torpedo tubes, I'm not turning around. Oh, darn.

So we start with a title screen for Captain Proton. First time we've seen the Captain Proton logo, I think. Did you ever fuck around with HyperCard? Yeah, yeah, I had HyperCard. This feels like a HyperCcard title screen, you know? It really does. Yeah, that like just using the like vector lasso tool in Photoshop and like the non-contiguous paint bucket

of white to fill it in. Yeah, it's great. That level of typography on this title screen. There must have been a conversation about how much shit to put on this. Right. Do you want to get into tracking? Do you want to get into weird static or smudges or whatever? Right.

As it is, this is a super crystal clean, remasteraster, old TV show version of what we get here, right? Yeah, no, no dust and scratches, no, you know, like roll outs or burn effects on the footage. But we're getting like a voiceover, talking us through the events of the last episode of Captain Proton, Constance Fairchild or whatever, what's her name? Good heart.

Constance Goodheart is screaming her full head off. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Like that's kind of the thing she does. This lady has the pipes to do it. Yeah.

She can really scream. Good casting. Something hit me while watching this, which is that I would be very excited if they announced that the next thing coming to the Paramount Plus app was a, like a limited series of Captain Proton episodes, like 10, 10 episodes of Captain Proton coming this fall to Paramount Plus. I mean, even as like a short trek thing,

you could see the fun of that. Yeah, it'd be great. It'd be great. We cut to a wide shot where Tom and Harry are watching this on one of their circular TV screens inside the spaceships that Captain Proton pilots. And this is the recap for the players of the game of what happened in the previous episode.

Yeah. This isn't the first kind of meta commentary about Star Trek itself, but this episode decides on. Yeah, so they're off to fight Chaotica again and they're talking about like, oh yeah, there was a lot of like exaggeration of how cool the last episode was and sure. They're having this conversation

when they get interrupted by the FaceTime Otron. Captain Proton. Surrender. Not a chance. Were you distracted at all by just the suggestion that Dr. Chaotica could be stunt casting and was not. Because I spent a lot of time in the beginning of this episode going, is Dr. Keatica played by a that guy? Who was Dr. Keatica? Over and over in my head, I was like, this isn't someone

of that I know, is it? And it's not. But I wonder, were you distracted by not stunt casting as much as you would be by if they had stunt cast, Dr. Keatica? Like, I wonder how much they thought about maybe doing that. Yeah, I mean, I guess in the script, they sort of write it toward, maybe we'll see Keatica again. And I wonder if you don't stunt cast a character

that you think you might wanna bring back just for like, budgetary reasons, like if we ever do another episode with Chaotica, we're going to have to pay the name brand actor a lot more than the, you know, the tape player. The guy we cast really didn't care about getting famous, so. I mean, this guy is chewing scenery. He is really throwing himself into the role. I think he's doing a good job. Maybe it's a menuette situation where you think you're

going to play the next Dr. Chaotica Holodeck program, but it's a different person than you're expecting. Oh, man. You can't fall in love with the next doctor, Keodica, the way you did this one. Right. It's not going to be the same. It really isn't.

So Keodica is asking for them to, you know, surrender or something and showing off that he's got Constance Goodheart and Camptive and, you know, bragging about his death ray, classic call to adventure here, and the intrepid captain, proton, and whatever character Harry Kim is playing, crash their ship on the surface of this planet. Is this one planet X? Oh, I didn't get its name.

Because he says planet X just looks just like mercury, right? Oh, yeah. So. I mean, you could tell by its color. Yeah, they're identical. Sets were expensive. It's a Star Trek cave central, this planet. What is Kim doing here?

Kim has never been more of a mill house than he is. Maybe at the beginning of this episode. I love how he kind of takes what Paris is saying and then kind of repeats it in an overacting kind of way. Is that what Robin used to do in the old Batman TV show? It feels like that, you know? What does he even hear for? What is he getting out of this? You mean precisely, Robin? I mean, the last time we got to get tied up by the Delaney

Sisters, which, oh yeah, you know what, I, there is that suggestion before the theme where they like set out onto their mission. And Paris is like, well, don't forget, we've got a hero of women to look forward to. I think Harry is just going to like ride the coattails of Captain Proton until he gets to the sex parts of this game. Let's go. I'm right behind you. Yeah, I mean, there's always one episode that centers the sidekick, right?

Right, right. He's just going to play up until then. So as they walk across the surface of Planet X, they come to a point where they get a great vista Captain Proton announces that this is called the Fortress of Doom. And Harry's like Fortress of Doom, more like Fortress of Dildos. Yeah. How did they even build this thing? That's really impressive.

Probably just got a bunch of Dildos and painted windows on them. Oh, I meant in the world of the story, probably a lot of slave labor, right? Yeah, it seems like a pretty steep outcropping of rock to be doing major construction on. You know, any super villain, this is an Isaac Asimov theory, right? Like any super villain who has the power to shoot laser beams, probably also has the power to construct a fortress on the top of a mountain without using slave labor. Yeah. That's a thing, right? But Keatica would use it because it's cruel, you know?

Right. Yeah. A wood. So they don't really get to get very far into this game, right? Like they're going to go to the underground caverns when there's a banger and they start looking around and they find these these pink holes opening up. Yeah. More holes than they had bargained for in the solidic program.

Yeah. And the fact that their pink really breaks K-Fave because this is supposed to be a black and white game. They look like the pink and the blue things from the very first episode of Star Trek, the next generation, right? Oh, it's a night though. Maybe a little bit, yeah. They're hanging some dangle, you know?

Yeah, but they're quite as rubbery, you know. Right, yeah, these are little hurdles. Yeah, well, instead of little jellyfish Instead of big jellyfish, right After the theme they realized they can't turn off the program. Yeah, this seems sufficient enough to like hit the power button on the console Right, you can't play through this pull the caratures out Blow through your t-shirt into it. Mm-hmm out blow through your t-shirt into it. None of that stuff works.

So they head back to the spaceship where they can open a panel and interact with holodeck controls manually. Meanwhile, up on the bridge, the ship has come to a complete stop in space. And the captain marches onto the bridge to ask why. And nobody really knows. Yeah, it's the ship stuck in space. It's also a bunch of systems that don't work anymore. Yeah.

Something, something, something having to do with subspace. Something gravimetric particle. This doesn't sound like a time travel thing. No. I was listening very closely. Not time travel. No way. Back in the holiday Paris and Kim are staffed

by some non-player characters at the foot of this cave, and they just shoot them without giving them a second thought. I love this. Yeah, you're a big fan of wasting NPCs for no good reason, right? And then like for good measure shoots them again after they're down.

This is like the the holiday version of like doing that crouch your nuts over the dead body thing. That you see in some video games, like multiplayer style. Well, as soon as he shot Lone's act, they shot the other two NPCs, because at that point, what's the difference? He had to get it on, Adam. Yeah, he had to get it on, Adam. Yeah, you really did. Of course, it's locked in. What?

Did this one to me? Very careful, because I'm on time to say this once. Who? We kind of cut back and forth a lot here. There's stuff on the bridge, stuff in the holodeck. They try to like go to warp again, and this is just shaking the ship around. The bangers get more and more intense

and they are stuck in the mud. They are not moving. Low key, this is maybe one of the scariest things that can happen on a Star Trek, right? Like you think about attack from other spaceship. You think about giant space butthole, sucking you in and destroying you. Maybe temporal anomaly, making you replay your destruction over and over again

But like low-key very scary stuck in space maybe forever. Yeah, that sounds awful Yeah, you just run out of resources and bathrooms and and then you did yeah sucks terrifying The only way that's Tom and Harry can figure out to get out of the holodeck is a site-to-site transport. So they put that into effect and materialize in the hallway in their costumes. And then we are in the ASLAB looking at a 3D representation of what the ship has found itself inside of, which is described as a subspace sand bar by BLT. Yeah. My idea would be not to swim the ship directly to shore,

but instead swim parallel to shore until you're free of that subspace current. Yeah. And then you can make it out without tiring your ship out, right? Wow. Very clever. I know. It's spoken like a true host of the Santa Monica Mountains podcast. Do do do do.

Right? Yeah. But like, unfortunately, they're down a bunch of the systems that they could be using to solve this problem. Right. So, they're really left with just kind of riffing in this meeting about what might help. There's coffee in anything that might explain what's holding us here. Captain actually has some practical experience that may be helpful in this situation based

on a nebula that she was inside of one time while working as the science officer on another ship. And she's kind of getting herself set up for like a really grandiose aha moment where she demonstrates to the crew that she's the captain because she's the smartest one in the room. And seven really smashes her nuts here. She comes in and just like gets the words right out of her mouth. She comes very close to making me Chinese finger trap comparison of a TNG episode, but they don't quite do that. I think Seven has probably heard Miriam back when I was on a ship stories from being in the collective.

Mm-hmm, yeah. So many that they just bore the shit out of her. But we really don't get many of those from Janeway Doey. And I kind of wish there were more of them. So much so that like, I'm sure you and I have repeated stories on the show before. You just let the other person go. It's fine.

You've heard this one before, but it's okay. But like... I wouldn't say that you've ever just let me go. You always take exception to me, saying anything on the show in one way or another. Well, like, I wish there were more of that from Janeway, like, oh, here she goes again. She's telling that nebular story.

We know. That's not the case, She doesn't really tell stories. Yeah. The, uh, Hellbutani, named for an astronomer from Haran. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like a soup in the, uh, in the soup Nazi episode of the Seinfeld show. I'm a clam chowder, one albatoni. I didn't get my bread. So the plan that got Janeway out of trouble before is something they're going to try to implement this time, which is like, you know, the more you resist, the more this thing just wears you down. Yeah. Maybe the key to getting out of this thing is like,

doing a little creepin. Yeah. Try and go slow. Yeah. Maybe put a couple of pieces of lumber under the wheels, you know, see if you can get some traction in that mud. It's why we carry all of this sand in the cargo bay. Why not? So we cut from this to these heralds in the holodeck and some beams of light come out of them and a couple of kind of old-timey gangster-looking guys materialize. They're in like, you know, their wing tips and three P suits and Fedoras. And they walk around, they have some kind of tricorder, they're scanning, and they run into Launzac and Launzac arrests them immediately. I thought one of these gangsters really looked like Henry Silva. Oh. Like the lead gangster.

Yeah. This actor Jim Crestelute, unfortunately, has been blessed with Henry Silva face. But it really works for him in an episode like this. He looks period correct in the face. He does. He does have past person face in the same way as Henry Silva. And I mean, all of the chaotic averse characters

kind of do. Yeah, they do a good job with it. They're well cast from that standpoint. Do you know you have a past face if you have one? Like if you're an actor and you see like a casting call, we're looking for past faces. Like, do you see yourself in that request and you're like, I think I got a shot at that one.

You're in the waiting room at the audition and you're looking around with all the other people that are also in black and white. Yeah, the waiting room is in black and white, very magical way. I've been told that I have past face. I don't think that at all. I think you're a modern, good-looking fella.

Hey, thanks. I think you are too, buddy. That may be the first positive thing you've said to me today. It is. I've only been talking to you for 26 minutes. But sort of like that thing that happens when you're compared to a famous who is not known for being good-looking, you could really maybe not take that as a compliment, right? Like, it past faces not always a compliment.

No. Even though we meet it in this case as one. Yeah, these are handsome past faces. Mm-hmm. And I know all these people are listening, which is why I say that. Right. Otherwise, they'd be dragging these motherfuckers for being so ugly. Do you think Daron as a past face?

Is that something that, you know, how sometimes you encounter a baby that just looks old, like an old man or an old woman? Is that where past face comes from? Daron definitely had an old man shit going on early on, but, you know, he's almost five months old now and he'd really come around to looking like a baby and not a whizzing old man. Yeah. Good looking kid. Yeah, he's a real honk.

So Lanzack is like in the middle of getting chewed out by Chaotiki when he returns to the fortress of Dildos, but he reveals that he has these prisoners and that's great news. So they bring these prisoners in and the prisoners are like, yeah, we're like explorers and we're interested in learning about other photonic entities and making diplomatic contact and all that.

These poor guys. Yeah, Chaotic doesn't really wired to receive this message in a positive way. I'm growing weary of this show up. Neither is his robot wired for such a thing. No. One of them gets whacked right here, one of these photonic beings. Yeah.

And the other has to dematerialize himself and escape. They didn't realize that they were being brought into meet the ruler of the cosmos when they made this incursion into the holodeck. It's really efficient world building where you recognize immediately the lethality of that moment. Like that guy is dead based on very few hints that we've gotten in the scene. It's a senseless death. It's hard to countenance. Yeah.

The robot quickly takes the medicine out of the Henry Silva's jacket pocket and takes that to the dome. As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Is this the same robot? It seems like it totally could be the same robot, right? I looked up what happened to this robot and it was sold online, you know, through like a Star Trek action. Uh-huh. And I'm just going to search to see who the high bidder was. I think you could probably guess.

Get it long. Not shocking, not shocking. Head and arm detached, but possible to glue back together if that's what you wanted to do. He was stating the obvious again. One hundred and three. You can't be here, do it, do it. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

The captain goes down to Nielix's restaurant in a real foul mood. But they haven't even attempted the get out of the sand bar thing yet. Captain Janeway has a real marion of this episode kind of mood going. Yeah. Before finally taking some coffee to the dome and that makes it only a little bit better. Yeah. That one takes the edge off, but only so much because Nelix cannot allow for any more edges to be removed. Yeah.

He's the bear of some bad news because they're down to just a few replicators, but also they're down to very few lavatories. I was wondering if lavatories is just kind of code for the special transporter beams that get out the poops. I thought a lot about this and I'm thinking that maybe the special Transporters that beam out waste material Maybe they're only responsible for either Solid or liquid waste and you still have to use a conventional bathroom for the other thing. Oh dang You know, yeah, like maybe you're beaming out shits because that's, that has to do with the annular confinement beam. I think we all know that.

Right. That makes sense. That makes sense. Maybe you got a site, you got to use an actual toilet for the piss part. Right, right. I mean, the thing being described here has real third day of a music festival vibes. Like, you do not want to be using these bathrooms at this point. You don't want to be queuing up for them.

You don't want anything to do with them, but there's only a couple. Yeah. And if you get in line behind a bolion, woof. Yeah. Do bolions do bathroom the same way that Adam Pranaka does bathroom? Is that what's going on? Well, if we're just pissing in those bathrooms, yeah, I think we can gather that the,

the bolion penis is a wonder. It's the water gun that can shoot around corners. Do you think the bifurcation goes all the way down? Oh yeah. Is that rude to ask a bullion down to the base? It may it might be even trifricated. Do you think of that? That's a lot to shake off before putting it back in the pants. Right. Yeah. You get triple calico cut pants if you're not careful. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're dressing all three ways. That's the case. So they attempt this gambit with the thrusters to get out and it looks like it's going pretty well at first. They're making some progress and then it doesn't. It doesn't work anymore. I don't know. I thought maybe throwing some more coal

on the fire with the thrusters was not considered as one of the possibilities. Like it's obviously not what's going wrong here, but like. I thought the whole point was to try less. Like they should have backed it off. They should have. Yeah.

Or just like rotated the ship around and then did the forward thrusters or something? Oh yeah. Yeah. Smack it up, flip it and reverse it. Yeah. Yeah. There's also like guns going off

and they eventually localized the guns to the holodeck and Harry explains, oh yeah, we may have left something running in there. And this is when they realized that the war is happening within. I can understand why Tuvac is sent with Paris to investigate for all of the comedy reasons that are evident once he arrives. Right. But come on, man, can we give Chico Te something to do? Anything. Can we give him anything to do at this point in the season? Sounds great. Yeah. I mean, like it'd be nice if he like at least got to go down to Nielix's Tiki Wounge program a lot in season five, but he doesn't even get to do that. Cass has more to do this season than Ch go day. It's really saying something.

When Tuak and Paris arrive, they find a lot of smoking craters and the corpses of several NPCs including that of Constance Goodheart. She's dead. RSVP. Yeah. I'm sure you two were very close. These are bloodless deaths though. Yeah. I'm sure you two were very close. These are bloodless deaths though. Yeah.

They did not spill a lot of blood in that mud. No. But that looks at things. The dildos and the fortress of dildos are shredded. The devil's robot is all charred and burned up and it's talking all crazy. I love how the robot is just leaning against the cave wall instead of down on the ground. And you know the reason for that, right? Like, you can't fix him and then watch him try to stand up

for the 20 minutes it would take for him to do that. Like, he could only ever be leaning for that reason. We don't have the time to watch you try to stay it up. Yeah, but the effect is that it sort of seems like the grow lot is just drunk. Haha. Oh man, maybe that last round of shots was a bad idea. Man, I really love a lean and over drug. Yeah, yeah.

That is a good kind of drug. and overdrug. Yeah, yeah. That is a good kind of drug. I can't finish this walk home. I just need to, I just need to lean. Let me just rest my eyes for a minute, man. That's really the reason why you lean. It's because if you were to lay down, you'd just pass out, but the lean keeps you awake, at least a little bit. There's a little bit of an insurance policy in the lean. Oh, I like that it's the devil's robot. Made me wonder what fecklar's robot would look like. Oh, man, I could tell you, fecklar's robot would be wet.

Very wet. But then would it like rust, you know? Great question. I don't know. Like a robot that learns to love and then cries and rusts. Would Feclar's robot just be DOA because of how wet it is? Feclar's robot would never learn how to love. Ever, ever.

Why is that even on the table? Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. That's a good enough quote that it should be a t-shirt. Hotshop.biz. Anyways, they got to fix the bot. They got to make him their friends and get him to tell them what happened. Yeah.

I started to like the robot at this point. I did not like the robot up until now But having the robot is sort of the pet. Yeah, just sort of hopping around behind them. That's good. Oh I'm totally with you by the end of this episode I was like bring the robot onto the main cast like the robot should be part of the show from now on Why does it get to live with Ensign Kim? Why does it get to live with Ensen Kim? And why does it's head and arm keep falling off? And why is Ensen Kim just extremely chill from then on?

So the robot explains that there's a war on between Chaotica and members of the fifth dimension. And Paris is like, what the fuck is going on, man? There's not supposed to be aliens in this one. People aren't supposed to die either. There's a lot that doesn't add up. Yeah. So Tuvac is like really doing his best to play along,

but hard to keep a straight face when Paris is explaining all this stuff on the fly. Too luck does that way of kicking someone in the balls that is just repeating the thing that Paris says. Or whatever. He doesn't have to try very hard to smash those nuts. It's sort of very similar to what Harry was doing in the first scene. It is, yeah.

But downplayed instead of played up. Yeah. Your knowledge of this technology is most impressive. So the robot leads them over to a part of the Star Trek case where these holes are. And we see that the holes are licking shots in the atmosphere. They're firing photonic charges.

And those photonic charges are presumably what's killing everybody on the holodeck. Seems pretty dangerous. Really does. To holo people anyway. Right. At what point in time were you like, where the fuck is the doctor and why haven't we involved him in this?

Because to me it was 15 minutes ago. Yeah, the photonic life form aboard would be a great diplomat to send in. Right. There's a lot of fucking around that has to get done before anyone on voyage or hits on this idea. So your way ahead of the members of the crew. Uh-huh.

Addo. There are three instruments about being a standard cat. Get through. Get through. Be sure to act in. Go down with the ship. And get through. Get through it. Get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, get through, through, get through starts shooting his death ray back at subspace and this actually does seem to be

like a bit of a war that's going on. I think Seven does something really useful in this scene, which is if you just aren't in to this, like the Holiday episode in a Star Trek series is often a Sherwood forest or a, another version of a Sherwood forest or a, another version of a Sherwood forest or Cowboys or whatever, like TNG did this a bunch. If this isn't for you,

seven is your character in this because she smashes Kim's nuts pretty hard here about his choice of holiday play in a way that I think kind of serves that kind of viewer that's like, eh, this sucks. Who would, who would ever do this? Who would spend their time this way? Right. It seems your infantile scenario now poses a security risk. It kind of defangs that feeling for that kind of viewer and I think makes this more palatable as an episode. Agree. I think that, uh, yeah, TNG would have done well to have, you know, riker.

Right. Be like, really? There's not even any sex in here. We're pretending we're fucking Sherlock Holmes, and this is stopping everything we're doing so that we can deal with the bad guy from your stupid fucking Sherlock Holmes thing. Yeah. The dissenting holiday opinion is really useful in a holiday episode. I've heard that the record character in Picard season three is gonna

really carry that energy. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be like extremely pissed off that Mardi Ardeus back. I hope the record character looks back on the fleet that he summoned for help and is like really? We got one type of starship here. That's, that's all we could get. That's what we got. One type. You know, it kind of makes me look like a fucking asshole to be the lead ship and it's not really any better

than any of the other ships behind me. I should have the coolest ship, right? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, fucking bullshit. Yeah, yeah. Back on the holiday, Paris is reading these sensors from his rocket ship, which are in the form of a telegram. Right. Yeah. And Tuvac could wincha car out of a ditch without hard is his eyes are rolling back. He's like, can you please not like give me the telegraph version of this like summarize it if you can? I mean, the framing is very much suggestive of Paris being infantile and two-vac having a giant crank because that's where the the ticker tape machine is positioned in the frame. That's nice.

Yeah. Yeah. So this is a message from the president of the earth about like intercepted messages between the queen of the spider people and chaotic about this war with the fifth dimension. They're talking this over when they hear a knock in at the door and the surviving,

photonic life form guy comes in and finds them there. And he's like asking them who they are, they're asking him who he is. At a certain point, he like insists to them that all life is photonic and they're like, no, it isn't you fucking idiot. And he's like scanning them and he's like, yeah, like this biochemical thing

does not read his life to my censored thingy. So, sorry, I don't believe you. That mirroring of perception is pretty interesting. Yeah. Like, they both see each other in that same flawed way. But God, this Henry Silva guy has an awful story about 53 of his people being killed. Yikes. It's not looking good for them. The Holodex safeties are permanently off

for people of his type, right? Yeah. And, you know, he has to shoot this robot before it tries to destroy him. Bad moment for that robot. Yeah. Max, his phaser out of his hand, but then it's, it's arm falls to the floor and he makes his escape. Still not believing that anybody that he just met is really alive. We cut to a McLaughlin group. Is your want? Where Tom Perris kind of has to explain a lot of like

backstory on what's going on in the universe of the game to the captain. I mean this Mille Gloucfeuil group is peak silly because they have to like take seriously the plot of the game while trying to puzzle through what to do about the while trying to puzzle through what to do about the photonic life forms, like trapping them there and also getting killed by their holodeck. This is a great performance by B-Dunks because he's summoning that energy that all nerdy kids have ever had explaining the thing they love to their parents, to their disinterested parents, specifically, like going on and on about this nerd shit, and doing it in a serious way in the face of people who want to shit all over this. The destructile beam on my rocket ship can disable the death ray, but only if someone gets inside the fortress of Doom and can shut down the lightning shield. That's what she says. I would say that that is like the one thing that Shukote gets to do in this episode is join seven in deriding the entire affair. If it were possible to reach the strap of Paris's underwear

and yank it upward, like, the crew would just be passing him around. Yeah, would that be a photonic wedgie? Yeah, he would be a context of this episode. It would absolutely be that. Yeah. So the thing is in the game, they need to drop the lightning shield and the way that is accomplished is by enlisting the help of the

queen of the spider people. And for some reason, that role will be played by Janeway. Mostly, I think, for the bit, like everybody in the room agrees that it would be funniest if Janeway plays it. Oh, no. It's the role of a lifetime. Like, they look at Seven and they're like,

there's no way that she would like throw herself into the role. So, let's just go with Janeway. Seven doesn't have a gear for camp. No, no. And we aren't sure if Janeway will either, but boy, does she? Yeah. Janeway's eye muscles really get a workout on all of the eye rolling she does in this episode before she finds herself in the program. Yeah. Also, almost as an afterthought, the docs involvement is floated and approved in this scene.

Which were the prior reason. And then the next were in six Bay, where the doc is making preparations for his big role. BLT is in there kind of making sure he's ready. BLT does not feel left out or left behind by not being invited into the program in a way, again, that feels symbolic of her detachment from Paris. Yeah.

In any way. It's like, I mean, I've occasionally floated the idea of, hey, do you want to watch some Star Trek to my wife? Like, are you curious at all what I, what I do? No. No. Congratulations. Why do you need me?

The same thing. BLT has no interest in the Captain Proton cinematic universe. Are you saying that this is a healthy relationship then? They just have their interest siloed? Maybe. Maybe. Okay. It's a theory.

You know, we have to test this theory. Okay. We'll put a pin in that. The doc is going to play the president of Earth and he's ready to go. Yeah. He's got BLT making modifications to his mobile emitter for some reason.

This confused me and then I was even more confused when they radio to tell him they're ready for him down in the holodeck and he walks down there. Yeah. What? I mean, is this one of the systems that doesn't work anymore? While they're stuck in this cred.

Oh. Oh, that actually, I don't know if they ever say that explicitly, but I like that theory. Why not? You can only use three turlits, no site to site for the doctor. Is it, you can only use three turlits, no sight to sight for the doctor. Is it, you can only use three because the fourth one has been labeled bolions only. That is ugly.

It's very ugly. Whoever has to put that sign on the bathroom. It's like you take all the conveniences of a modern starship away and people start reverting to some of the bassist instincts that people have It's so sad. Oh, that's ugly A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all.

FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it. The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Sherry Reembarishment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne.

On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We are embarrassment tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you.

And Kumail Non-Giani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open, just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Whoa, Ralph's hit.

Hey, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in mine. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line. And boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not and they have such short neck. But I'm hearing we need to get on this. So gotta get on the art.

It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality, claims of podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie?

We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. So we get a long hallway walk and talk where Paris starts to kind of talk Captain Jane

Way through the role and like how you behave like a mustache twirling villain and how you behave to a mustache twirling villain in a Captain proton story. It's a lot more eye rolling. It's like a wonder she can see where she's going given how hard her eyes are being rolled in this scene. You can't not have this scene though. Like you can't just have Jane way up here in the holodeck without having this coaching. Right. Paris and Janeway spend a lot of time together this episode, talking about everything, but maybe the subtext that is most interesting between them. Like, the idea that this is a place

where Paris spent a ton of his time, even if it is like pseudo academic, like the study of the way past earth people thought about futurism or whatever, like whatever, whatever. That there is never even a whiff of Janeway going like, you aren't even going to try to get back into my good graces at all. Like, I fucking demoted you for being an insubordinate mute near even. Like, you're not gonna use your free time to try to get that pit back.

Does that ever happen? Like, I don't want you to ruin the end of Voyager for me, but like, when does that even begin? Oh, no. I mean, there's spending so much time together, I think there was time for that moment where she's like, you know, by the way. Well, there was a bit about that, but then they had to edit that out because they needed time for him to go over a rack-neazed vial of pheromones that she ordered out of the back

pages of a gentleman's magazine. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It really works. What do you think about the way Paris signs off with her at the scene? Where he's like, you're the Queen's hair. Oh, that's... You're the Queen now, dog. Kind of the knife like that without fear

of reprisal, I think you got to take it. But that does sort of underline how little interest he seems to have in getting back into her good graces. Very true. Yeah. Because a knife twisted most certainly is. Yeah. We're back on the holiday next and Keatica's hench has some bad news.

Three more of our spaceships have been destroyed. And it only makes them want to shoot just death ray more. Yeah. Lanzac comes in and this is one of those problems with your your war movie or your Bond villain or your chaotic is that like the death ray is already the most powerful weapon, but now he's saying things like full power to the death ray and like fire at will. And it's like you weren't firing at will at full power before. Yeah, don't get that.

What was holding you back? You know, no, watch your futures end. Yeah. Moment here. Like this is all by way of trying to escalate the stakes in the episode, but it just seems like it doesn't make any sense that the stakes wouldn't already be here by now. We don't get much time to interrogate this before Queen Arachnia enters as played by Catherine Janeway and she is a real goth chick.

Yeah, this episode breaks for goth girls and she walks in, strikes a pose and slinks up to Chaotica with her like opera mask and wild haircut. Dr. Chaotica has that energy of a kid who's made a new friend who wants to show them all their toys the first time they come over. Yeah. Here's my death ray and here's my brain laser bed. And those are my pheromones and here's my brain laser bed. And those are my pheromones, and here's my throne. I have super Nintendo and Genesis. Yeah, pretty cool.

When I was dead broke, I couldn't picture this. So here are some clothes I stole out of your garbage and I take hits off of them whenever I need to be inspired as a supervillain. She's like, oh, that's not creepy at all. Anyways, where's the button that turns off the lightning shield? That's the thing I'm kind of curious about. The repetition that a racneia has with wanting to drop those shields is the thing that draws

the line under how fucking stupid Dr. Keatica is? Because over and over again, that's all she wants to talk about. She has no subtlety in tip telling up to the thing that she's really interested in. Yeah.

And Dr. Keatica is such a fucking bumbling idiot that he's like, well, you know, you're going to have to give me something for me to want to do that. How about marrying me? Yeah. And she agrees to do that. Yeah. If you will lower the shield, then I will wed you.

And it sort of like feels true to form for like a 30s adventure cereal in a lot of ways. Like, how big of a deal is this war? Well, not so big a deal that we can't have a wedding in a lot of ways. Like how big of a deal is this war? Well, not so big a deal that we can't have a wedding in the middle of it. I mean, and it's also really the way people become intimate for a long period of time. Like you drop your shields, I drop mine. Hmm.

Wow. Heavy. Makes me wonder why your shields have been up our entire relationship, Adam. Yeah, I have not asked myself that question. It's the first time I'm thinking about it. Over with the president of Earth, the doctor has made contact with Henry Silva and makes the case for aligning themselves with Captain Proton's mission to destroy the death ray.

That has been killing. We didn't get an update, but 50 something of his people have been killed by the death ray. It's a good number. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. And that means Captain Proton and the photonic entities have aligned interests, shall we say. And you know, the president of Earth is like, yeah, man, this chaotic a guy, he really sucks shit, but Photon can bring the heat to him.

Right. Guess what? The robot's working on our side now. And Henry Silva's like, that doesn't make me feel any better. That robot fucking sucks. I don't even know why the scientists make them. So, it's an alliance between the proton and the photons. Yeah, what does that make?

I don't know. Clean energy. Oh, really? I don't know. It's exciting. Yeah, that's what the saint was about, right? I believe it was. Well, killer exciting. Yeah, that's what the saint was about, right? I believe it was. That is yeah. Yeah, Elizabeth Schew.

She plays a brilliant scientist. Even the end of pollution. A lot of post-its up in her apartment. Found movie. Yeah. Back on the rocket ship, the doctor tells Paris that it's mission accomplished. Yeah, this is a classic president thing, like,

celebrating a win before it's really secure. Yeah, this is a classic president thing like celebrating a win before it's really secure. Yeah He's in his flight suit. Really great. So heroic stolen valor Yeah, yeah, so we get a great like push at it over to chaotic as war room and they're showing off some of the jewelry to a rancnia. This is chaotic as wedding ring. She keeps bringing up the lightning shield, and you know, why don't we go lower it at any point, lowering the lightning shield would be great.

Just really want my minions to worship you, your highness, et cetera, et cetera. I mean, if you want a lot of wedding gifts, you got to invite a lot of guests. Yeah. Them's the rules. Chaotica's like, yeah, I was really thinking about something smaller, you know? Something more befitting of two people lowering their shields

way we're doing. While they're talking about this, the proton spaceship is incoming and Chaotica starts licking shots at it. And the shields are still up and the weapons are hot. Yeah. Objection noted, we'll do this without

Chaotica. Do it. Objection noted, we'll do this without Chaotica. Do it. Do it. Do it. Chaotica is distracted enough by the arrival

of the rocket ship to kind of miss a Rackney as double-cross, right? Yeah. His back is turned, but then when he turns back towards her, it's like a stick up. Yeah. The one thing I wondered about is like, she knocks out one of the henchmen

with like a incredibly quick karate chop to the back of the neck. Is that like an in-game thing that works because of the mechanics of the video game? Or is that like... Oh, that's fun. Does Janeway really have that kind of chop? Could Tuvac have neck pinched Dr. Keatica and would it have worked? Yeah. Yeah, ooh, interesting. Because like a lot of video games like your your melee attack is an instant kill But it's very high risk because you have to get so close to the bad guy to do it. Yeah, so maybe this is one of those games

She just got lucky because his back was turned. I'm stuck in that God of War game. I can't kill Thor I can't kill him. I spent an hour trying to kill Thor Couple of minutes ago. I just can't do it. I think I might be stuck. Are you like really far into the game or not that far into the game? Not that far. I think I'm single digit percentage. I think maybe I'm just not good at this game. I think it's time to take the level of difficulty down. I did that. There's no shame in that. Honestly, I never even thought to do that. Like, I did not see that as a possibility. Wow. Turn down the difficulty. Yeah. Shit.

The opposite would be have a heavy duty jazz gummy before playing and see how much worse you do. And just a Brad word, boiler, that thing all night. Do it again. Hit me! You've come to your senses the next day and you'd have just incredible muscle memory for all the like button combos. I don't know, I'm still a little bit of a masher. I think that might be why I'm not so good at this game. You need some moves. That game really rewards a memorization of combos in a way that I'm terrible at and always have been. I think this is what I'm rubbing up against. It's the, I don't play it enough,

at enough days in a row for me to have those things locked in. So I'm like relearning every time I play it. Yeah. Yeah. you don't have 11 year old privilege. I don't. Sure don't. Chaotica is fucking ripshit when he realizes that he's been betrayed. He calls Janeway an impetuous harlot. Damn. Pretty searing indictment.

Yeah. But then again, she was like gonna marry him. So, you know, kind of accurate, right? I mean, maybe that's his thing. Hitchuas Harlitz. Yeah. When you've got a type, you've got a type. Yeah. Yeah, don't fight it. They try and shoot her and she laughs this off because holidayx safeties are still on. But the confinement rings can still confine.

Yeah. I mean, this is a call back to something Paris told her in the corridor. It's like, you're not going to get killed here, but you can get trapped here. Yeah. And so she is. The confinement rings seem pretty scary. You know what? You could argue that a wedding band is a form of a confinement ring. Yeah.

So there are actually many of those up in this layer. I've often found that I get good results if I put a confinement ring down around the base of my penis. Oh yeah, until you ask a nurse to cut it off with an angle grinder. Yeah. Hi, homona has made a terrible mistake. My dick is full of blood. So this puts the danger back in Captain Proton's court because the death ray is fully active and powered up and they're

firing at will and the lightning shield is still up. So these bangers are hitting not only Captain Proton's spaceship, but also the Voyager itself is getting pulled deeper into subspace. And when we come back from commercial, there's like smoke in the air and the robot is walking around all willy-nilly on the bridge of the rocket ship. And can'tica is really thrilled at how his little conflict is going so much so that he has taken Janeway

out of the confinement rings and just shackled her to a wall instead. Yeah, this looks better. Yeah, but it enables her to reach into her sleeve and pull out the pheromones that she secrete it in there before. And when she opens it, Chaotica and Lawnsack trade places. Lawnsack is about to start firing the death ray and like cheese smell, graphics go up his nose and he floats across the room to her

and proclaims his devotion. This always happens to the henchmen, right? The henchmen falls for the supervillains lady and just gets used. I don't blame him. Yeah. She knocks him out, gets his gun, takes out the other two henchmen. Chaotic is getting really charged up by this.

He's really excited to be at gun point. And smelling all these pheromones, right? Yeah. Don't forget about those. This room is starting to have a dangerous concentration of pheromones in the atmosphere. Yeah. He gets out his little room air sensor. Oh, yeah.

Let's check in about that. How's it going? Up to 800 is what was in the studio. That's a little bit better than it was the other day. Yeah, better than the 1200 it was before. I'm going to take your suggestion for action and get a plant in here. Yeah. Good to good idea. Yeah. That'll help. It might break up the overwhelming baysheness of the room. Oh, I mean, bays would be too much color. This is this is a gray box.

Impressively gray. Yeah. So she gets the shield down and proton fires his distructo beam, which is remarkably non-destructive. Felt the same way. For what it's called. Yeah. It shocks Chaotica. He's like touching his death ray and it shocks him. Kill zoom and Chaotica eliminated the photonic entities like, I guess release them from the sandbar or something. I don't know if I totally followed like how this got them out of being stuck.

I mean, in order to give us more detail, you'd have to give more dialogue to Robert Beltran, and this is something that the show was just unwilling to do. Like they cut away as he's trying to explain it. Yeah. It's actually quite interesting, the way that, and then we're back in the holodeck. You hear him off camera going, hey, wait! Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the scene that ends the episode is on the holodeck where Paris, Kim and the

Doc are together with Janeway, and they're like standing over what they think is chaotic as dead body, but it's not. He's still alive. And he's still in love with Queen Arachnia. Yeah. He says like this thing about like you haven't seen the last of chaotic. But then like, how is that true if he's dead? Like we had the scene earlier where Paris was like, I'm never firing this program up again, I'm sick and tired of this stupid captain proton bullshit.

And I was like, if that is true, like death ray, chaotic, like you all have your ray guns. Yeah, light them up. Yeah. Light them up and then throw them off the cliff. Because at this point, what's the difference? And then do that squatting thing where you squat over his dead body over and over again. Yeah, yeah.

So they go over to the round TV and watch the end card come up. And then the question mark with Chaotica's diabolical laughter. Yeah. And everybody rolls their eyes to theme. Did you like the episode, Ben? You know, I really used to get along with Post-Rex time.

But I don't like bullets, I don't like bread, and I don't like you. You're not this too. Boy, I thought this was some dumb fun. It is not smart fun, but it is good dumb fun. And the implications of Captain Pro Time getting fully explored was not something I had in my season five bingo card. So I liked it a lot. Ultimately, I had a great time watching it. Yeah, I got to say consistent with my feelings about seven earlier, like perfect holiday episode execution.

Yeah. Normally really dumb, bad. But in this example, I thought they did a great job with it. Yeah, I think the comedy of it works. Like they set up and pay off jokes that are well done. Yeah. Yeah, I liked it. Good job.

Good job indeed. Well, do you want to see if we have any interesting black and white priority on messages? Oh, geez. There's a whole separate section for some of them, Ben. It just makes me very sad to think about. Oh, but that separate section is for the promotional messages. Yeah. There we go.

Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. I need a supplement on that. supplement on that? supplement. supplement. Yes, extra. But the interest alone could be enough

to buy this ship. Our first priority one message is of a promotional nature. It goes like this. The debatched sloth is a newly launched greeting card store. All illustrations are made in MS Paint or its Mac equivalent and feature Miriam Egregious puns. In particular, FODs may want to check out the debatchedsloth.com slash shop slash trek to learn what con and Obama have in common and what makes a board put on a tie.

I looked at some of these cards at them. They are really fun. There's a wheat and terrier based card in here. Whoa, what? Yeah. I'm going over there right now. I need to buy that one before someone else does. Well, I think that they probably have multiple copies of each card.

I'm seeing sold out cards here, Ben. Yeah, but, you know, probably... We're talking about a friend of DeSoto here. I bet if you sent an email, they would do right by you. Oh, I like the Wheat and Terrier card. That's fun. Fisherman's Wharf. Yeah. That's fun. That's fun too. Yes, we can. I love all these cards. I need better, less generic greeting cards in my life, so I fully support

the debatched sloth. The call to action here is bring your scarves to thedebouchedsloth.com before big ride shuts it all down. And for our listeners in the UK, that's thedebouchedsloth.com. They pronounce it differently. That's fun. Yeah. I like knowing that. Pretty great.

Pretty great work by Katie Aryrathune on this. Yeah, I love all of these cards so much. Yeah, I'm gonna be making a purchase. As soon as we finish the program today, Ben our second priority one message is from David and Nashville, it is to Ben and Adam. That message goes like this, hey B and A, I'm the guy, from the double dumbass virtual meet and greet, who confess to listening to y'all at 1.5 speed. Well, I've finally caught up on the show

at the beginning of Voyager Season 5 and now pledged to listen to you at 1x. Wow, we'll probably take some time. To stop thinking you're way more drunk than you actually are, for everything and happy holidays Wow thanks David and Nashville. Hey, you don't have to listen to the show one next week. You're off the hook I disagree David. I strongly

believe You need Strongly believe you need to listen at one X speed only Adam our final priority one message is from Aaron who bought this in January of 2022 and it is too Peter. It goes like this. Happy birthday! I love that baller, get it done no matter what Janeway is your favorite captain. Holy shit, she's so fucking good. I promise we will have as much fun together as Kate Mulgrew did, fucking destroying this

episode. Hmm, and it will continue to make sure you have coffee before you have to make decisions. I love you so much. Yeah, I mean, Erin may be more effusive than we were about the great Kate Moguru in this episode. She does fucking destroy this episode. She really does. This is a very, very fun Kate will grow episode in a whole bunch of ways. Yeah. And this seems like it's sort of a valentine's message that's very closely timed to actual valentines day. So a nice work, Aaron, getting out ahead of a P1

purchase. If you'd like to get out ahead of a P1 purchase, head to maximumfun.org- slash jumbo-tron and set yours up today. P1 purchase, head to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbo Tron, and set yours up today. Go ahead and get boi out. Hey Ben. What's that Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? Incredible.

Drunk Shimoda! I think I might give it to Harry just because he's totally in it for the sex at the beginning of this episode. Like, no mystery about it. He's sort of mill housing, but he's also sort of George Costanzaing. He's a sexual mill house, isn't he?

Ha ha ha ha ha. Which I guess is what George Costanza is. Very true. So yeah, I think he's gonna be my drunk from motor today. How about you? The take that Dr. Keatica has when he goes down for the count, touching the death ray, or whatever.

That's the bigness of performance that I was kind of expecting throughout, that I'm glad we didn't get until that moment. That is the amiest, cheesiest, campiest performance in three seconds there. It was great. Everything about this episode leads to that moment. I liked it a lot. And that's why I think it works. Good moment, Adam.

But will we have a good moment when we watch the next episode? For that, I'm turning to goch.bizslashgame. I'll rekeep the game of buttholes. A little of a caretaker. And let me just quickly tell you about season five episode 13, Gravity. When Tuvac Paris and the doctor's shuttle crashes

on a barren planet, they befriend a female alien who had also crashed their years earlier. Hmm. Yeah. It's an episode about friendship. a female alien who had also crashed their years earlier. It's an episode about friendship. It sounds like currently our runabout is on square 30, bit ahead we have a Delta flyer square, which could rocket us up to a measure of a man square on the second to last row. I think we can also hit a Nielix's galley square.

So I'm gonna go ahead and roll this bone. You're required to learn as you play, roll. We'll see what happens. Boy, I rolled a five at a time. To La! Did I win? Harvey. And that put us right in between those two fun squares

and landed us on our regular old square. I love how you put it. So it's a regular old episode next week. Yeah. We're on quite a streak. Yeah. A streak did I like? A streak of missing.

Yeah. But we're getting pretty close to that brown zone square. Yeah, streak that I like a streak of missing. Yeah But we're getting pretty close to that bronzone square so that could be coming up sometime soon. Wow In a while starting to in-chip on it. Oh, I'm looking forward to next week I hope you are too even though she'd be have some misgivings about this whole thing. Oh In spite of what you may think, I am very invested in this thing that we do. Oh, good. And the way that we do it. And in my co-host in particular,

and in all of the friends of DeSoto out there who make the show possible. Oh yeah, they've invested in us over at MaximumFund.org slash join. We're getting real, real close to the beginning of the max fund drive. So get your wallets ready. Yeah. You just open up your purse or wallet right now and you hold it open until the drive begins. Like the mega tiring, but that's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Say okay, you can go to

maximumfund.org slash join To help support the show at any time including the max fund right? That would be great. We got to thank Wendy pretty the producer of this program. We got to thank Adam Agusia who makes our original theme music And occasionally has us on his podcast the Adam Agusia podcast Got to thank Bill Tilly the card daddy daddy who runs the greatest trick social media accounts, lots of great social media things to get involved with all over the internet. Also on the internet, Adam, podchap.biz.

Podchap.biz. Has now outlasted our previous podchaps by almost double. No one's pulled the plug yet. Yeah, over 10 times as many things in it, which is really exciting. Yeah, more gray shirts added by the episode it seems. But other things too. So, you know, get your apparel basics, but also get the, you know, sex candles and shit. I don't know. Right. Yeah, you know that's coming. Yeah. Sex candle tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Yeah. Maybe we'll have sex candles in the store in time for that.

Well, that would be tremendous. Yeah. But that will be back at you next week. We are then a great episode of Star Trek, next week, we are then a great episode of Star Trek, Voyager, and an episode of the greatest generation Voyager, where Adam has watched the episode, but I just watched Hank Girl again. Hmm, again? Again. I haven't seen it the first time. I haven't seen it the first time.

I just watched Hank Girl. Yeah, fine. Ben, I have a rule never to end a podcast angry. I love you, pal. I love you too, buddy. I don't want you to think I'm mad at you. I would never think that. Okay, good. You'll be caught on the youth and death and death They make it so, they make it so You'll be caught, caught, caught, caught

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