The Greatest Generation - Heavy Lies the Lampshade (DS9 S1E10)

Episode Date: December 18, 2017

When an extremely droopy Tony Robbins convenes a group of Ferengi economic minds, scheming for profit in the Gamma Quadrant is their top priority. But when he chooses Quark as his successor, the bartender is thrust from his comfortable place behind the scenes into a spotlight that proves dangerous. Where are the eyes supposed to go? Why would a Vulcan steal homework from a Ferengi? What are the chances that Rom has a nice apartment? It’s the episode that turns on Find My Friends!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Deep Space Nine, a Star Trek podcast from a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison.

I'm Adam Pryanaka. Oh, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Stalin, Ben! Our producer and for this show we do not have a producer, but our producer is making the stretch taffy, stretch taffy. As I sit here in vamp, buying Adam all the time he needs to go upstairs and kid himself an ice cold beer beer the official drink of the greatest generation Are you back at him? Indeed. How was that conversation you had with our viewers without me? Pretty personal.

Didn't let too much slip. You were talking about me, weren't you? It's not gonna be your mostly. I would try not to read the comments at them, but I was reading somebody saying that it's pretty clear to them that Deep Space 9 is not a show that we love as much as TNG. And I'll cop to that. Has that been made clear? I want it to be good.

I do too. I think what I'm copying too is the fact that TNG is like is like mainline nostalgia for me. It is like putting nostalgia directly into my veins. And there's some parts of Deep Space now that I really love and remember fondly, but it's just not the series I was weened on. So I have a different, a different relationship with it. I mean, you know, like a lot of comments that aren't intended to make the hosts feel bad and yet

unfortunately do. Like, I feel a little bad to hear that because I feel like I'm putting in the energy into the show of someone who loves the show. Yeah. I would wonder what exactly about what we're doing here would indicate that we don't love it. I mean, I agree with you. I mean, at this point, and maybe into the future,

I may not like Deep Space Nine as much as Next Gen. That doesn't mean I hate Deep Space Nine. This motherfucker's made an amazing podcast about TNG only to trick me into watching the Deep Space Nine podcast and running it for me. The podcast about Deep Space 9 is a work crime. Who is paying for this? They should be ashamed of themselves. The Grove is a much better wall.

The parking structure at the Grove show you when a space is empty. But at the Americana, there are no lights above the spaces. Those people that wait and wait for someone to leave their parking stall. It's a thought crime! Just go up to the next level! My pujou can park in a motorcycle spot! I would not trust these people to clean my seat row and on the third floor with a car washies! You know, I find that voice more difficult to do than Kazby.

I'm on the throat. That's a real clench. Maybe those characters will meet one day, but not today, eh? Now certainly not. Instead, we're introduced to another strange voice character. What do you say we get into Deep Space 9 season 1 episode 10, Ben? The Nagas. So we get a open that is a creepy frang creepy around, and a character of another alien race that I will

call Erzatz Mr. Homme, and then like a hooded character with a pretty blingy walking stick, and they're just creepin' at the beginning of this app. And unfortunate late motif being that people wearing hoods frequently end up being bad characters on this show. This scoliosis-adult-hooded person would foreshadow such a theme. The Ferengy at the top of his walking stick does not look terribly dissimilar from Mil Brooks' character yogurt in space balls Munchenizing. They look so similar that it makes me feel like they're

They're sending a message with this like they're winking back at Mil Brooks like I see you Mil Brooks We're big fans over here at Team Devespace 9 We're willing to make here at Team Deep Space 9. We're willing to make a silly alien character as well. It looked so much like yogurt that I was like, did yogurt also have a cane that had his head at the top of it? I am positive you will correct me about this, Ben, because you are. You're the more learned host on this show than me. What the eff are you talking about?

Isn't there like a da Vinci thing about like where the eyes are in the face? A lot of people until they draw a human face aren't aware that the eyes are in the dead center of the head. Like, right, it's like, it's like a cognitive bias illusion where you're so focused on facial features that they seem disproportionately large on the face. But if you actually like put a grid over a face, the eyes are right in the middle.

Right, and the thing about this cane topper is that this is a person who has chiseled a face who is not aware of this grid. Yeah, this is sort of like outsider art sort of intentionally Ignorant art art that isn't Predicated on years and years in the academy studying things like anatomy atom This is like this is folk art. This is beautiful. This is this is from the people when you are little and you started drawing like with crayons and whatnot like Were your depictions of people just heads with arms and legs?

I know mine were. Head's arms and legs and then really big ears. Yeah, yeah, totally. Always big ears on my childhood drawings. Yeah, that's a thing that's fairly commonplace. Some friends of ours with kids are doing the drawings. They're at that drawing stage right now. Yeah, that is not changed.

From generation to generation. That makes me feel a little bit better. Do they do the thing where the ground is like a line along the bottom of the page? Yeah. Yeah, great picks. That's why I praise the artwork so much. Because it's just the way I did it.

So the two storylines in this episode are A, Farenci, B, Jake is being a teenager. So the other thing that happens before our title sequence is Commander Sisko comes home and finds Jake kind of fucking around in the apartment getting ready to go to school and Sisko's like great news dude when you get back from school today. The two of us are going to Bezier for the start of the gratitude festival. And Jake's like cool. For how long? Three days. And and Jake is not in Jake doesn't seem to realize that he's gonna See more pejoran chicks at a pejoran festival than he would hanging out waiting for ships to arrive

Right the hell Jake. Yeah, man like you got to take your parents up on that trip to Italy when you're 14 To be very formative Turning that down as a huge mistake. Oh shit. Like there will be the discomfort of being like an adolescent that is still a child and therefore has to do what their mom and dad tell them to do, but there will be girls there. Yeah. Jake and the scene forgets to put on his shoes and he makes a big production out of it. Shoes. Which made me think of something interesting, Ben, if you knew that you weren't going to go outside ever,

wouldn't you just put on some slippers or forego the shoes altogether? If you lived on the station, I probably would. Oh Adam, I have so much more self respect than that. Garrick should be selling slippers and making a fortune. Like, whatever the crock equivalent is on Deep Space 9, that's what he should be selling. That's a little on the nose for how much Cardassians look like crocs. Yeah, that's fair.

So that's our cold open, I guess. And oh no, there's still a little bit more. Man, this episode has like five solid minutes of cold open before the title sequence. Yeah. The other thing is we cut back to Quarks and Quark is like, you know, just kind of doing his normal slimy businessmen stuff.

Trying to rob his customers, being a jerk to his brother, Rom. You worthless tiny, eard. trying to rob his customers, being a jerk to his brother, ROM. You worthless tiny, eared fool. I feel like we've seen ROM before now, but maybe he wasn't kind of like established as a character so much. Yeah, he's really all up in it in this episode. To the degree that he will like pop into frame and then withdraw from frame in

a very cartoonish fashion. Ben, do you get Al's Swear Engine vibes from Quark? There's a base of operations. You cannot beat a fucking saloon. Because I kinda do. Like I'm hearing cocksuckers that aren't being said. Cocksuckers. There's like a carriage about him that is very swear engine from deadwood you know I never watched a deadwood at him oh geez well great show sorry mr. Ben me too Adam the relationship that is established is that cork really doesn't think much of rom and dumps on ROM, but also ROM passes those dumps

along to his son Nug. The dump flows downhill. It sure does. So the negas arrives at Cork's bar, pulls down his hood and reveals like the oldest, droopiest, hairiest ears. Like, what could only be a testicular analogy, right? Like, good lord. Like, ugh, like I expect to see him in the locker room of my gym, blow drying his head. Yeah, he needs like an extra beefy comb to get the tangle

out of that ear hair. Yeah, it is just a thick thatch. Real gross. Zach is played by the wonderful Wallace Sean and doesn't say anything in this scene. Is the Grand Negus here on business hope pleasure? Is there a difference? No, of course not. It's almost implied that he's like communicating telepathically with his son who is arranging

for a series of sex capades in the hollow suites for him. If your dad asks you, hey, go buy me some pornographic magazines. Make sure they know it's for me. That's basically what's going on here, right? A simple nod from the Negus indicates that he wants to run five Hollis Wheat programs in succession. One thing you know about the Negus right away is that he has a fairly short refractory period. This is becoming a speech. The captain's very entitled. A little type that rammed along about something everyone knows. So we come back from title sequence and guess who's back at him.

Alright, let's settle down. Chifo Bryan, and he is substitute teacher for Keko. That's settle down! Keko who I guess is still back behind on Earth? Yeah. How are we deprived of that conversation? I don't know, like I wonder what the backstory is on Kalamini being out for so long. I don't think Rosalind Chow was a main cast character, but they probably had to pay Kalamini

for three episodes or whatever, right? You know what, this can be solved with research, but it wasn't Khan Air around this time. I know Kalamini wasn't Khan Air. Anytime the Khan Air people give you buzz, you gotta take that job. You got a very important call from Simpson-Bruckheimer and had to go. God. Who directed that movie?

Do you know off the top of your head? I guess I don't. It's Simon West. Jesus. It's the time when Simon West got a lot of work for team Simpson-Bruckheimer. You got your Antoine Fuqua, you got your Simon West. Who else was in that club, that prestigious late 90s Simpson-Bruckheimer club? How about the rock?

Who directed that? Was that Michael Bay? Michael Bay? Yeah. And that was a Simpson Brookheimer, right? It was. I feel like every Simpson Brookheimer movie has the chase scene where they show the thing that the chase is about to destroy and it's like either the wheelchair basketball team or the lady pushing the pram that winds up being full of cans. I want to make a super cut of all of those. Sean Connery escapes his haircut in the rock and goes down to the lobby of his hotel. And he steals that Ferrari and the German guys like, is he having my ne' Ferrari again

stolen? And begins that awesome chase in San Francisco. Like, it's basically the bullet chase through San Francisco, complete with trolley car, ejection in midair. Yeah, there was somebody doing coke watching the bullet chase going. The problem with this chase scene

is that they don't get a trolley off of, they don't get a cable car off of its tracks sliding down one of these big old hills. Hey man, you just fucked up your frart. Look, aesthetically that was very pleasing to me, Ben. I like seeing a big sparky car slide down a hill in San Francisco. It's great. So, basically the upshot of Kalimini teaching class for his wife is that, uh, not, not ropes Jake into

a an academic dishonesty scheme whereby, not accuses Vulcans of having stolen his ethics essay and Jake backs him up on it. If you're not don't you have to come up with a different alien on the spot to be your patsy? Like you're a forangi. Why don't you blame another forangi? That's totally believable to me. Instead you're gonna blame the Vulcans who are like the the all-time valedictorians of every school that they go to. Of all the species they're the least likely to be homework thieves. Yeah. I love the idea of Vulcan still a forringy's homework. Except it's a joke. Hey, Savak, you see that pad over there? I hear that 13 year old forringy kid wrote a

little essay about ethics. What do you say we take it? That's what passes for comedy on our world. God, no kidding. They would laugh and laugh. Well, the Negus finishes up his fuck fest and is curious to like kick it to court. He wants to have a pretty intense high level business meeting here at the bar. He wants court to shut down so that they can bring

the captains of Ferenke industry around to have an important meeting. And this is pretty exciting for Quirk. Quirk is nothing if not a fun host. So he sort of relishes the idea. He very generously offers the Negas is the Negas to stay in ROM's apartment while he's on board the station.

Does Deep Space 9 not have accommodations for heads of state who are visiting? I was just under the understanding that the station was mostly empty and therefore would have plenty of accommodations for people. It seems crazy. It's clear to me that Cork just hates ROM. And he's just fucking with him whenever possible. I get that. But like, what are the chances that ROM has a nice apartment?

God, I don't know. I guess they go to a private room at Chey Remic. And, yeah, they're talking things over. And the Vegas is very complimentary of Quirks, skills of a business man. You've done very well for yourself, Quirk. Because he has this bar that's on this space station that's next to this wormhole.

And the Frank, you see a big business opportunity here and considers it a pretty shrewd move on Quartz Park to have started a bar that would one day be close to this place. A three tiered lazy Susan bin is the laziest Susan, right? You really load that thing up. Yeah, it's a real dim sum of nightmares, but... If you're gonna fuck with the lazy Susan, I think you might as well get the tiered variety, right?

Yeah, well the Franky were like, they were looking around at 3D chess and they were like, what could we make three-dimensional? I know, Susans. In this scene, Nog is school shamed by the group. He's like talking about having to leave the dinner to go do some homework. And everyone's like, homework, the hell is that? And Nog's like, well, yeah, I go to school. It's sort of a thing that the kids here do on the station. And you allow your son to attend such a place?

What a joke that is. And so, Rob's like, yeah, you're grounded, kiddo. Go to your room, and I better not catch you studying. Rob is a... Not a guy that has the courage of his own convictions, is he? Rob is the dumb guy who chooses to homeschool his child, but he's not smart enough to teach him anything, like sort of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

Like you know, ideally you want a parent to be motivated to make their child better than they ever were. R.M. has no such motivations. Like, R.M. appears to be threatened by the idea that Nug would, would get an education. It's a type. Right. You know, sci-fi is about, about the present. Nug and Jake have a falling out and they discuss Nug's disappearance from school and he makes

sort of an interesting case about why he's not there. For me, school is a waste of time. With Nag saying that, like, school doesn't make any sense to a Farengi, like, what he's sort of saying is that, like, there's nothing about his education right now that will serve him in the way that a Farengi should be served. Because there's no profit in it. He would be better off in a trade school where he would learn

the tools necessary to learn a fringy life. But instead he's going to like the general purpose public school. Right. Kiko's not gonna teach him auto shop in the promenade. I think that that is sort of a weird thing though, because I mean the Frankies are supposed to be all about

business and the smartest at business. It's what they a weird thing though, because the Frankies are supposed to be all about business and the smartest at business. It's what they're obsessed with. And you would think that you could get an angle on other cultures by learning about them. It's sort of the business equivalent of no-dynamy. If they were so good at business, you would also assume that they had a kind of self-awareness that would allow them to understand that they aren't that great at business. Yeah, the Frankies are just all guys that are like, well, you know, like Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs dropped out of college, so like, who even needs it?

Yeah, yeah, there's not even a debt component to this school. Yeah, it's just free. No. Like mana from heaven. The Ferenki get their big HUD sucker boardroom meeting together. And Grand Nagasek is making a big speech about what a big opportunity the Game Aquadrant represents because the Ferengi have had their reputation unfairly tarnished in the Alpha Quadrant as, you know, untrustworthy shisters, essentially.

And he thinks it's going to be awesome for them to go into the Gamma Quadrant with no reputation at all and Become captains of industry a new make for Angonar great again It's basically his angle everyone super pumped about this clean slate the negis does it kind of Tony Robbins ask Unleash the greed within Seminar in Corkspar. The potential for a wringly business expansion is staggering. It's very exciting. The meeting is kind of like whipped up into a frenzy and everybody is so pumped and they're like, they're like, come on, Negegas, lay it on us. Who is gonna lead this great, great future for us? The new Grand Negas!

Quark! Quark! Quark! And everybody storms out. It's not a great feeling for Quark, right? Heavy-lize the lampshade, Adam. He's sort of like the kid in the 80s movie who is elevated to prom king as a joke. I'm got, I get nothing for Heavy Lies the Lambshade.

Adam doesn't laugh it been enough. Heavy Lies the Lambshade is great, Ben. Very, very funny. I thought it was okay. I mean, I thought it was worth something. Sorry, what were you saying? I was just drawing the equivalence of like that, of almost like a carry moment, you know? Like, Quark doesn't know that he's in an election for Prom King.

He doesn't even know that he's, that there's a chance of this. Yeah. And that he is voted to be the next negis, strikes everyone as a grave injustice. Not just a grave injustice, but like, it's totally out of left field. Like Quark is a bar owner, and all these other guys are the heads of huge companies, presumably.

And it's also uncharacteristic of Verangie to just pass a thing or title of value on without any strings attached. And that part kind of goes uninterrogated for a while. Like, that's the thing that everybody should have noticed, right? At the beginning, it's like, this doesn't actually add up as a thing. Right, there's no suspicion about this at all. Instead, we almost immediately smash cut to quark as negas, and fully appreciating the the scepter and the cape and the hangar

zone that comes with it like he is loving it right now. Yeah he's like he's blowing kisses to the to the babes on the promenade he's he said he's the way he walks has really relaxed you know he's walking like a powerful man. Very stretchy. Cisco finds Jake and the quarters eating the oatmeal of loneliness. Quaker Oats. It's the right thing to do. And Jake is really bummed out about the fight he had with Nug.

He explains to Cisco, like, yeah, like, Nug got pulled out of school, family doesn't see the point. And, you know, like, it seems like, it seems like culturally our differences are tearing us apart, even though we're good pals. Cisco sort of goes through the motions of feeling bad about this, but deep down, this is success. He does not want Jake hanging out with Nug. Right. And like he's even getting this from the lowest ranked guy on his staff. Like O'Brien has even pulled the commander aside and God like, Hey, if I had a son, your son's age, I would be keeping him clear that little fringy. Man, I think you hear about it all the time. Like a great way to start a fight with a

parent, tell them how to parent. Yeah. Hey, listen, I don't want to tell you how to raise your kid, but here's how I think you should raise your kid. Not great. But Cisco takes it with a plum, like takes it as red. Like, yeah, I know, man, Naga's a real son of a bitch. But, you know, 14 year old boys are, you give them an ultimatum about their friends, they're gonna choose the friends every time. And this is like a bit of wisdom that Cisco's spod on about, like you can't drop that on Jake. Jake's gonna choose Nog.

Or definitely choose against his dad. Right. He said exactly the right age for that sort of Estrangement. Yeah, you got to you got to play this with a little subtly if you're if you're commander Cisco O'Brien having just dropped an ultimatum on Kiko on earth about how many more days to stay there for his Mother-in-law's birthday party is like ready to spread this advice around Well, it worked for me. I me back on the station and I'm alone. Did you see that video that someone put up of that episode where O'Brien rescues the green guy, you know, the guy who was hunted?

And there's that moment where the green guy asks him if he wants to go be free with him and they do a rack into O'Brien's face and it's a fantasy scene that shows all the scenes that happen before of O'Brien punching people in the face and going on adventures and crawling through ductwork and stuff. It's really great. That's really funny. One of the great minor throwaway lines that we did that get turned into a bit really fun. Oh, it's really great. That's really funny. One of the great like minor throwaway lines that we did that get turned into a bit really fun. Oh, that's great.

Where was that? Someone posted it to Twitter, I think. I liked it. I have to dig it up. I missed it. Quark is learning that Negus is not the easiest of jobs. He's got one guy telling him like, hey listen, there's a lot of people that want you dead because

you got this job ahead of them and I can protect you, but you got to give me cool business opportunities in the gamma quadrant as recompense. And they're like having the negas is funeral, wherein they auction off a little hockey pucks full of green dust that I guess is his remains. I thought this is a great bit of alien character work. Yeah. And the idea that the Ferengy would vac you desicate themselves and then sell pucks of their

remains. I thought it was like spot on. That's great. It's great. And it's also really well established in the script with, it's not like expositioned to death. It's like, it's just the thing that they are doing in the background, it's the business of the scene

and other stuff is happening in the foreground. And somebody's like, what the hell is going on here? I thought that was really nice bit of writing. And Quark has asked Ram to be his bodyguard and a lot is going on but he bends over to pick up a coin that has rolled around on the floor and a hunter killer drone flies across the bar and narrowly misses his head as he stoops to pick the the coin out Greed saves the day Yeah, he would save his own life by reaching down for some change

Those things are super useful down at the laundromat on deep space 9, you know One thing that I noticed in this episode that I hadn't really thought about in the ones that came before is like every time ROM and Quark are in the same scene and especially in the same frame, you really get a sense for how much more I make up Arm and Chimram and Wares than anyone else. It really makes his eyes pop and I think that goes for every other Pherengy that we see on the station or have seen. Quark is really unique in that way. Yeah, I mean Quark's unique in a lot of ways. He also is the rare Ferengi that doesn't have the lampshade.

They put more work into his loaf than all of the other Ferengi loaf. And when you're applying your Ferengi eye makeup, you're going to want to go for that very popular smokey eye makeup. You're gonna want to go for that very popular smoky eye look. That's why I take a round bristle brush, dip it into my powder and apply a nice even strokes. We're using this cosmetic foam to blend the eye shade with the foundation so that it blends evenly. It forms a nice illusion of depth and sparkle. Now for some of your deeper eye wrinkles, you're going to want to load up a trail with some drywall spackles. We mixed the compound up earlier in a 5 gallon PVC bucket. And if it starts to dry out, just add water, periodically throughout the day, to keep it malleable.

I'm Tom Silva, and this has been this old Sephora. Oh, yeah, it's like the fun and games really cease when the attempted assassination happens, right? Yeah, I mean, it's sort of like the fun and games cease, but not to the extreme that they should. Like, what has happened here is an explosive attack has been perpetrated in the public space on the station. Like, this is something that grinds cities to a halt. You know, like, they should, like, the station should be unlocked down.

It should be like a, like, you know, a hard target search for the perpetrators of this attack. Like Quark is the head of the Ferenji State. Under normal circumstances, people would be eating in the rainforest cafe where this thing went off. Like, this could have killed a bunch of people and it should have. And there should, like, there's no, like, depiction of panic or chaos ensuing after the explosion. It's just like, he like wakes up in six bands and he's like, oh, guess I survived. That's cool. They do a quick scan of the bomb site and they're like,

yep, that's for Angie. So it's pretty clear at this point that like one of his own is after his head. Yeah, I mean, which makes sense, you know. The powerful have to have to keep an eye on those closest to them. So Quark actually like has a pretty smart reaction to this, which is he starts having Godfather meetings with everybody where he grants the the requests of his of his forengies. He's not as cutthroat as I would have expected. He's pretty magnanimous with his dealings like to the degree that he takes a 50-50

cut from some guy who's wanting to sell S-a-hal in the Gamma Quadrant, that seems pretty antithetical to typical Ferengy deal-making, right? Yeah, well, yeah, but it's like it's shrewd because it's like, it's making him popular, you know? Yeah, and if he gets a cut of everyone's work in the Gamma Quadrant, that's good for him, I guess he's going for quantity. Yeah, so he's, he's, he's sitting there, he's going, Lulu Lulu with his little puppet character. He's passing out deals. He's like the Emperor of Rome in Gladiator. He's like a month of games and bachanelias to celebrate my ascension to power or whatever. Commence with the orgies.

Commence with the umak's. I know you're waiting for a bigger laugh for me Ben but I don't know what that is. I don't know what a umak is. Isn't that when they rub the earloaf? Oh, I didn't realize that at a name and if it did, it didn't stick. There was some episode we just watched where somebody was using sex to get an advantage over quark and I think that they called it that. Oh yeah, Vash was umoxing. Vash was given qu core to your job.

So if anyone cares, Cisco is deep in the B story, trying to figure out why Jake has been skipping out on their dinner plans, right? Yeah. He's like sitting there throwing the baseball against the wall and dax comes over and is like oh stew Don't mind if I do serves theirself a big helping. She's like what's eating you? It's just goes like Jake's Jake's super late for dinner. I feel like we're really growing apart children need to know their boundaries I should know I've been a mother three times and a father twice. You go find him and give him a talking to you, that's what I would do.

And so he does, he has the computer telling where Jake is, which is like, I feel like I would've done that before half an hour had gone by. You know, like if I had the power, like right here right now, if my wife trusted me enough to do, find my friends on iOS with me so that I knew where she was, I would be like, okay, it's a about time to start making dinner.

Let me just check to see if my special lady is on her way and if she is, I'll get started. Food will be ready when she gets here, you know? It's your feels like an extreme amount of trust that Ben Sisko shows for the station, everyone on it and everyone who's passing through the wormhole to assume that Jake wouldn't be the biggest target for kidnapping on the station, right? Right. The idea that he would be late for dinner

would send a cold chill up my spine every time. Jake should have a detail. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, well, Cisco goes down to the cargo bay and the explanation for all of Jake's secrecy and unwillingness to spend time with his dad winds up being really touching. He's teaching his friend of read. In discovering this, Ben Sisko is able to deliver the ultimate punishment to Jake, which is an extended show of affection to him in public,

that includes all the hugs and kisses that Jake can handle. Sort of a lot to take in. More nerking than you require. Speaking of familial mistrust atom, it is revealed that the negisus sun cracks and rum are the schemers behind the attempted quirk assassination. And they try one more time to take quirk out by closing him in an airlock. Sorry, Quirk, but you've just been voted out of office! They're about to punch the button that blows him into space and he's doing his groveling

for mercy one more time. And out of the shadows comes Negus' second. It's like, don't do it, guys. This was all actually a big test. This was a test to see if cracks has what it takes to run the Ferengi business federation or whatever. And cracks, basically your big disappointment to me. to run the Ferengi business federation or whatever. And cracks, basically, your big disappointment to me as a father.

Sort of an emotionally opposite scene from the one we got with Jake and Ben. Yeah. Sort of a tale of different fatherhoods. Right. Yeah, it makes me wonder what was in those pucks. Oh, no. In this scene, does that turn into goo

and go under a locked door thing? Oh, no, it's sort of unbeatable at limbo, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, he's like pee-hear-man-level limbo skills. He doesn't do it every episode, but I do love a shapeshift. Yeah, he's like Peewee Herman level limbo skills. He doesn't do it every episode, but I do love a shape shift. Yeah, it's fun. That's shifting. I thought that it was a bit facile in the script for Quark to be like,

nice work, Rom. You really showed guts trying to kill me there. Like all is forgiven because it was such a cutthroat business move, basically. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if that's safe. Game-recognized game, Ram. I gotta watch my back around you. A guy who tried to kill me.

You made one mistake, Mr. Potter. Your double-cross train, you left me alive. If you're gonna have the constant thread of death around, you better hope that your would be a sassan, is as dumb as Ram. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. ROM like that's got to give him comfort right I guess so I mean like you probably sleep in great it's fucking ROM yeah give me a break he's he's he's gonna spend most of his days polishing those pipes well band did you like

this episode I kind of like this episode. I think that this episode is the precursor to a lot of flurrenky nonsense episodes that I would compare to the compulsory one-a-season Lwaxana and-or or Q episodes of TNG, where it's just like, I guess, every so often, we have to fucking find out what's happening with these idiots.

And I, you know, in my previous watchthroughs of Deep Space Nine have tended not to like those that much, but man, while the Sean is so much fun to watch, and it is an episode where this show is like, well, what if the story isn't at all about what's going on with the Starfleet's on the station? And instead is about like one of these weirdos. And I think that's fun.

Wallace Shawn is so smart and so great that it is incredible to see him play so dumb. You know, in his many roles, and his many film roles in which he has, you know? And like to see him play the Negus here, like he so capably does this. He's really entertaining and fun. Indeed.

Did you like the episode Adam? The reason I like the episode is Wala Shahn. Yeah. I guess to a lesser extent, the Arman Shimmerman Quark stuff is great too. But this is this is taking advantage of of the form of Ferengi that we've come to know over the last eight years in this Star Trek universe, which is like just the dumb, cartoonish, you know, bumbling idiot, for Angi.

And that's fun, but if it means we get an episode, a season like that, like I would hope that they try to break new ground with them. Like I continue to maintain, I wish they were more like Quark than not. Yeah, Quark is more interesting than the Frenki. Absolutely. Bendy, wanna see if we have any interesting priority one messages? I love priority one messages

and I really want to see what we've got. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. You need a supplement on that. supplement on that? supplement. supplement. Yeah it's extra.

The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Adam we have a couple of priority one messages here. The first one is of a personal nature. It's from Henoviva and it is for Plavim. It goes like this. It's supposed to be silk and linen to celebrate year four and I know I'm supposed to say go fuck you. But I'd rather say come fuck me ever more. You said no anniversary gift, so I thought, what sexier than a P1? Maybe after this ode, you'd say, um, still none? Having only seen data as Sherlock and an orgasm in sub-rosa, and then there is an Asemi

colon here. But that seems to be the end of the message. I'm sorry, you must have seen it. Is this, uh, this must be Plei-Veeam's wife sending him a priority on message? I didn't think it was possible, Ben. Heineviva is obviously a great, great woman. Uh, and an incredibly patient one. Yeah, no kidding. Ben, our second priority one message is from...

...Henaviva. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Message goes like this, I promise to watch some better episodes with you, Cuddled on the sofa. Here's a toast to many more years with the glass of Romulan ale. And hope this anniversary message wasn't too much of a fail. Now, once again, go fuck those rascals and support Team Plavim. Because Heneviva wants to get fucked and made into an awesome meme. wants to get fucked and made into an awesome meme. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This was two purchased priority one messages and not just extra characters extended to friend of the show, Plev even Cleveland. So there you have it. If you'd like to purchase a priority one message, you can go to maximumfund.org slash

jumbo-tron where a personal message is a hundred bucks and a commercial message is 200 bucks and they really help support the production of this show. Hey Adam. What's that been? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? It's hard to pick against Wallace Sean. You know, sometimes you give the drunk, drunk Shimoda to a character, but I'm gonna give it to the actor this time. The guy, the guy clearly went through an epic amount of makeup for every, every shooting day.

And yet, after enduring such a thing, was a full like 10 out of 10 in every scene, the guy is fucking great. Yeah, he really comes right through the makeup, which seems impossible because there's so much of it. Really impressive work by Mr. Sean here. So that's mine. Who's yours? I'm a little torn on who exactly to award this to, but I think that the right people to

award it to is the writers of the episode for something that happens with Nog's character. Because at the beginning of the episode, he's saying, I don't have my essay because Vulcan stole it. And then it is revealed that Nog is illiterate. And I feel like you can't have those two things be true. Like what he should say is, hey, fuck you chief, nobody has taught me to read yet. So while I work on that, maybe don't assign me essays.

Yeah, that's not nice. It's so fucking like, they're illiteracy shaming this guy. It's not his fault he doesn't know how to read. He grew up in a bad culture. I feel like the first thing that you do when you start a school on a starbase of mixed cultures and mixed ages is probably get a sense for where everyone is at. Like like in terms of math and reading and anything else. Like you want to level set everyone, right? Why wasn't that done? I guess maybe it's just Kako's fault.

Maybe maybe that's who gets my drug Shimada. Kako in absentia. Yeah. Hope she's having a fun time at that birthday. That that four week birthday party. They really should have come up with a better explanation than birthday party. Yeah, I mean, a darker explanation would be

if she needs to take some time. This is not going well. I would like that subtext. Tomok and Jalat and Tanaka. that's up text. A Greatest Gen Live Show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to

make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it. The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the share your embarrassment

tour. I'm Jordan Morris and I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go we make pure delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the space weirds. Pat Noswald. Could I get a ball rock burger and some air-gorn fries?

Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are already open. Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard.

Be dumb instead. Whoa, Russ. Hey, hey, hey. Oh, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I, these giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short neck. But I'm here and we need to get on this.

We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie?

We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun and Outdoor.

What do we have coming up on the next episode? Adam the next episode is season one, episode 11, Verkicks. An alien criminal from the other side of the wormhole tempts Odo by telling the shape shifter that he can put the changeling in contact with others like himself. Sure seems like the B or C story to every episode could be Odo's journey to find people like him. You know? Yeah, I mean, he seems only passively interested in that.

Right, he's like primarily his primary goal in most episodes is harass Quark, and then like if he gets around to it, find out who he is and where he comes from. His calendar is just two long appointments, like the other side by side. Conflict detected. It's so hard to book Odo for a meeting.

He's always busy. Well, I'm looking forward to that, Ben. Yeah, let's find out if it's going to be a drunk episode. What do you say? Let's do it. Roll them bones. What do you say? Let's do it. Roll them bones. Number four comes back on the range of number generator.

That is not Elmerane, Adam. Thank you for getting that song stuck in my head again. I actually got a pretty cool suggestion on Reddit of what if each number has a signification or like as we come up with ideas for other shit we can do to each other. We assign them to different numbers. Whatever keeps it fresh in the pod bedroom, Ben. Well, we'll see. Well, that's the end of this here episode, Adam. We should thank Adam Rekusia, who does all kinds of great music for our show,

and Dark Materia, who did the original theme for our show. I get to thank all of the positive commenters over on Facebook, Reddit, and Twitter. You can talk about our show on Twitter using the hashtag GreatestGen. We've got a Facebook group that you can apply for entry to. You so desire, that's a great place for fun memes and comments. Every day, you could spend your time there. Lathen it up. And if you're thinking about a negative comment

or a comment that's about how good one of us is and how not good the other one is, maybe I think twice before posting that. What is the point of making somebody feel terrible? Maybe they're trying to drive a wedge between us, Ben. I don't think that's cool. I don't think that's cool.

I don't think that's cool. I don't think either of us is going to do the show alone. No. Uh, you know what? We are going to do together, Adam, is our upcoming Max Fun Show friendly fire with our third co-host, John Roderick. That'll be coming up less than a month from when this episode comes out. That's right.

So get excited folks. I know I am. That is a show we've been working on a lot behind the scenes, and I'm really excited to see that go out. Doing that show with our friend John Roderick, and a friend of the podcast Rob Schulte, doing the heavy lifting on that one. It can be a good time.

So if you can't think of anything else, and I sure can't, I think that's it for today's show. Yeah, hi, Gripen. We'll be back at you next time with another great episode of Star generation, Deep Space Nine, which looks a lot like a butthole. Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture, Artist-owned Listener-supported