The Greatest Generation - His Dick Looks Like a Pine Cone (TNG S1E3)

Episode Date: May 11, 2026

When something goes terribly wrong on the SS Tsiolkovsky, an away team beams over and brings a lot of sweaty drunkeness back aboard. But after Wesley takes control of the ship and a nearby star explodes, Dr. Crusher works up a cure and Riker cleans up the party. Which office supply can fix a boat neck? Where should stupid space questions be directed? What’s the best thermostat setting for an orgy? It’s the episode with a big helping of reheated TOS lasagna.Support the production of our shows Members get benefits including bonus episodes and an ad-free experienceSign up for our mailing list!Get a thing at podshop.biz!The Greatest Generation is hosted by Adam Pranica and Benjamin Ahr Harrison The show is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Instagram | BlueskyAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.socialSupport the production of The Greatest Generation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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the next generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranika. I'm feeling a little bit embarrassed

about my collar. Oh, you got a... This is not a blown out collar. Like, this was actually the style for the time when I bought this shirt. It's just got kind of a bigger collar. It's a big hole. It's a bigger neck opening that I'm used to wearing. I think folks watching the stream will find this very unusual for me.

I usually wear a very tight neck, like I'm a preacher, that kind of neck, you know? Is there a sinner here looking for salvation? You know what? I can do it myself just by pinching the back. See? Yeah. Just get like a binder clip back there. I'm looking for one in my desk.

You know what you've got at him? You've got a boatneck. Durelli reminds me of the USS Grissom, which, you know, I have an uncanny feeling reminds me of the USS Tjolkovsky. Yeah. Here's the thing. When you get stationed on a ship, I think you probably have some pretty high hopes for that name. Like, is it cool?

is probably a top line consideration, but also is it easy to say? Has to be on that list and pretty high, right? Yeah, I think you get like up and east in Europe and that TS combination is just more and more common in every fucking word. Yeah. I think famously there's a phonetical pronunciation in,

I don't remember what Asian country, but it sounds like, er, Like that sound, that lr? Like kind of an L and an R and an A sound at the same time. It's like kind of you're making a thing at the back of your throat that the English language never attempts. Yeah, I mean, you probably don't want to be stationed on that ship either if you have a hard time with that pronunciation. Yeah, if you don't come from a culture with a tonal language, you're screwed. I thought about going by Adam Lewis for a very long time,

because throughout my life so many people struggled with the pronunciation of my last name. You've never had that problem with yours. I get Harris way more often than you would think, though. How embarrassing. Really, really often people read my name and say Harris. So, you know. People just lack the energy to finish the entire word. A bunch of lazy folks out there.

Yeah. Yeah, a lot of lazy bones. I have now draped the back of my T-shirt over my, my shoulders to tighten up this collar. I'm looking a little more normal now. Yeah, you're looking good. As long as I don't move, I should be okay. I have to say the Grissom model is photographed far more flatteringly in this episode than it is in the movies. Because we never get it from the front in this episode, right? It's always in profile or from the stern. Yeah, it looks better from there. It does. Yeah. I mean, every ship has an angle. I was reading about it and the dedication plaque that's notably in Cyrillic.

Unusual for a couple of things. It's in Cyrillic. It is not on the bridge of the ship because they don't go to the bridge in the scene that you see it. They're like looking at... Yeah, how could they? CCTV of the bridge. And apparently it says that the ship was built in the USSR. Hmm.

That's great. That's science fiction. A lot of great aircraft manufacturing. in the USSR over the years. Yeah. A lot of fun planes. A lot of planes from the Antonov company.

Yeah. Just look up weird Antonov plane on the internet. You'll have a lot of fun with that. Yeah. You'll run out of glue putting together those plastic models. They had a good four years left in them

when this episode aired. No kidding. Yeah. So maybe we should get into it. Maybe we should jump right in. It is season one, episode three, The Naked Now. Make it so. Make it so.

Card's log tells us that they're heading for the research vessel. I'm going to struggle with this every time, Ben. Silkovsky? Silkovsky, yeah? Zilkovsky. Is that right? Silkowski. The science vessel, SS Silkovsky. This is a summer camp canoe class starship studying a collapsing star. The messages are dismaying.

Something is wrong is what is indicated by them, but they don't really know what. And so when they dial, after you get through the preamble about how this is going to cost you 78 cents a minute, but will be on your telephone billing statement as a discreet entertainment phone line, a very sultry lady picks up the phone and starts talking dirty to Lieutenant Commander Data. I hope you have a lot of pretty boys on board because I'm willing and waiting. There's a sound of something busting at the end of this call. And what Data describes it as is impossible. Just how impossible is it been for an emergency hatch to be blown on a research vessel?

I don't think that's the right word, Data. Is it impossible because you wouldn't hear it? Is that why it's impossible? But then how does he know what that sounds like? I think the word that Data is looking for is unfortunate. Yeah. You're saying it wasn't a metaphysical impossible. It was a one cannot imagine the frame of mind one would have to be in in order to do such a thing impossible.

I really feel terrible for even calling this out as there are 10 years worth of episodes where I'm using the wrong word at a particular moment that anyone could go back and listen to. So I should really hold my horses there. Data uses a couple of contractions in this episode, I noticed. I don't know if they'd established that as a thing yet. I don't want to make this a word police episode. Here we are. Here we are. Reich recalls Data and Jordy and Yard to go over to the ship.

And when they arrive, it's a red alert for cleanliness, Ben. Indications of what humans would call a wild party? It is looking kind of like your parents' house if you threw a house party when they were on a trip to Cleveland, but you didn't have the montage of cleaning it all up and putting it back right before they got home. This just makes my skin crawl. I famously have been known in my group of friends to be someone who cleans up during the end of a house party before everyone has left. I really couldn't deal with this. You famously never stress anyone out toward the end of a house party. Look, they're going to get the message that it's time to go somehow. It's either me cleaning up or me going, how do you feel about the end of this party right now?

That's another way to do it. I liked that Riker grabbed his away team without even talking to Picard about it. Yeah. They have dropped into a working relationship already. on this very early mission. How often do you think Picard does that chopped thing where he selects Rikers' ingredients? We should keep track of this going forward.

Right. Like, it is Rikers' challenge to make a good away mission using the crew members arrayed before him. Commander Riker, assemble a dustbuster club with Jordie, Yarr, and two pounds of pork tenderloin. And he's like, Engage. And then you cut to the confessional and he's like, you know, when I was struggling and I was homeless and turning tricks, I never imagined I would be able to put a dustbuster club together with anything.

So two pounds of pork tenderloin, bring it on, baby. There is a TV feed of the bridge that Data and Riker find. And when they get it going, they see this open emergency hatch. And I think long ago we started describing our desire to be blown out of one of these things. And there is a real conversation about whether or not one is blown or sucked from a hole like this. We've been doing it right the whole time. That's what I learned. Yeah.

I mean, it's kind of the opposite of blowjob, right? Like, it is much more a sucking experience than a blowing experience for the provider. A common mistake, sir. I wonder if a hatch is involved, you are blown. But if your ship is shot and a hole breach happens, you are then sucked. I bet there's a distinction there. I think that it's two sides of the same coin. I think you are blown and sucked.

You're sucked into the vacuum of space. You're blown out by the air inside the compartment. Okay, here's a question. Say you are blown out of that hole. But somehow your body is pulled back. in. Are you blown back into the hole or are you sucked back onto your ship? I mean, it depends on the somehow, you know, is that a tractor beam? Is that somehow space filled up with atmosphere and your ship was evacuated of atmosphere entirely? This is maybe the stupidest question I've ever asked

you on the show and that is really saying something. Is there any sort of vacuum device that you can use in space that could suck something back into a ship with a hole in it? There isn't, is there? I think I read somewhere that there's like one molecule of hydrogen per cubic inch in space or something like that. So there's nothing for the fan blades to hang on to suck, yeah? Nothing to get some gription on. But I guess if you had no molecules of hydrogen, that would technically be more of a vacuum. Right. Hey, if I opened up a hole on one end of the bridge.

Yeah, sure. Okay. Could I open up? Are you talking about opening up another one on the other side? to get a cross draft? No, I mean, not exactly. What I'm saying is, okay, so the bridge is sealed, and there's one big hole in it, and there's a door there.

But what if on the other side of that door I opened up another breach? If I opened the door in between those two areas, is there a sucking action from the evacuation of air on the other side of that door if I did it at the same time? Right. I think there would be, yeah. Is that how I suck a person back into the hole? I think we could probably figure that out. Let's put a pitch together and we'll take it to Kirtzman and see what happens.

There is nothing I want to pitch Kirtzman. I want to pitch. What's the lab in L.A. that we've been invited to? Oh. You're talking about the jet propulsion laboratory? Yeah, yeah. Who would know better than those who specialize in propulsion? They've probably got like a wind tunnel and they could do this for us.

For real. You know what they specialize in blowing and not sucking, hence the name. Propulsion. I love that the camera zooms in on this hole ominously. They hear from Yarr, who is down in engineering, and she reports that that has become an undefrosted walk-in freezer, as is the set that Jordy LaForge walks into, which I just love this set. Like, every time I look at this, I love it.

the frozen people like in positions of repose like they were chilling the most before they were chilling the most they really look roman statuesque right yeah like i half expected to see a lady like holding a pair on her shoulder like languidly yeah somebody with their nose and arm knocked off when yarr reports that everyone's frozen she's kind of a subject matter expert here right I expected a little more juice to her description given that. Well, they hang up the phone before she can be like, and that means a lot to me personally, given some of the recent adventures we've experienced. I mean, she has volunteered a lot about herself in the episode we've experienced with her previously. The door in the quarters that Jordy is walking through.

I'm not really sure why he went in there. It's just crew quarters. But yeah, he's walking around in there and he hears the door to the shower. kind of thunking on something. It keeps trying to close and not being able to. And he opens it up, and another popsicle person falls into his arms. And we learned that 80 people have died aboard the Tjilkovsky. We are told that someone set the environmental controls to do this.

But Ben, if you're hosting an orgy, isn't that exactly the opposite direction of where you want to set the thermostat. Like, you don't want it letterman cold in there. You want to heat it up, don't you? You do, but you also, like, I mean, when you're, when you work a big room, you know, like a 300-seat room, like you've got to get the climate going before people show up. It's always cold in there before

before you start packing it with bodies and all those British thermal units start flying off of people. This is not a 300-person or two, though. No, it was a pretty tame affair. by my standard anyways. After the theme Picard's log tells us that the research information is being transferred over to Enterprise

and he admits there are some risks being this close to a collapsing star but for now they're going to hold position. You see this all the time, a star gets cancelled and everyone just sort of takes two big steps back. Leave me out of. at all that drama.

Yeah, all those people are sliding into the DMs of the planet's going like, wow, like must be pretty wild right now. Any tea? Anything you can share? I am L'Cutus a board. You will respond to my questions. I am L'Cutus aboard. You are bored.

Picard visits Beverly in Six Bay, and she is pretty stumped about what could have happened. doesn't really have a speculation. And Picard tosses off a bunch of ideas, but without anything to go on, she's not really willing to entertain any one of them as like a likely explanation. So they're like, okay, well, let's just be super careful about it. When the away team comes back,

like turn the dial of decontamination all the way up to 11. And once they come in, we'll just get them right to sickbay and you'll scan the shit out of them and we'll figure something out. If I'm Beverly here, the thing I'm definitely telling Troy and Picard is, hey, can you maybe get on the other side of my desk while I do this work? Instead of standing in like a performative three-shot tableau? Because it makes me uncomfortable with when one person looms over me at a computer,

it makes my skin crawl, let alone too. When I used to edit commercials and stuff for an ad agency and like the creative would come around and like cluster around my edit bay to watch a cut. Like absolute worst feeling of all time. And I'm so glad that those days are behind me. I mean, to a certain extent that got burned out of me. Like as a as a copywriter and communicator, like working in a corporate office, like that would squick me out.

But like when I turned to do an editor, I just became used to that. Like that's how you screen your footage. Yeah. I never liked it, though. Everybody's in Six Bay, and they seem good. Beverly's scanning them. She's like, yeah, you know, like, I don't know what happened over there, but it certainly didn't come over here.

We're trusting the process of transport, because once you blow them through the filtration of the transporters, you're feeling pretty safe. Speaking of looming behind people, Riker is now doing this to Beverly. He's right in her nook. Real question. Do you think this sort of composition is meant to,

prepare us for the closeness we will experience not very far from now between crew people. Because I want to say, like, I think what you'd want to do is make it even more shocking when that begins. A thing that I was very conscious of watching this one was how many times they had to come up with why two coworkers would have physical contact with each other. Yeah. Which I don't think occurred to me in year one of Greatest Jen. I guess they're just, they're getting TV. close with each other and Jordy's kind of a mean drunk and he's like complaining about the climb. Why are you perspiring, lieutenant?

I suppose because you have it too hot in here. What else would it be? Back on the bridge, Riker hits up data for kind of unusual record search. All he's got to request is something about a person showering in their clothes. He's really lucky that it's data he's asking for help with this research project, right? Yeah. Because that seems like a tab you don't want to have open under most circumstances. I know.

I feel like data will be discreet with this, but he says, like, this is going to take several hours, which I think is an amazing estimate to be able to give. Like, I will look through all information available to me on this ship to find person taking shower in clothes, but that will take several hours. Are we to understand that he is searching through? All of recorded history, you know, when Starship started going on missions, like from that point on. Like every log, everything that's ever been written down about anything. Yeah, that's unfortunate for the one person who really enjoyed shrinking their jeans when they first got them.

Tim's log, got a fresh pair of jeans. Nothing I love more than taking a shower, wearing my denim. Data just goes select all and drags to trash. So Jordy, having been confined to Six Bay, gets up and takes up and takes that cumbersome old com badge off his chest and wanders out of the room and off into the hallway. And Crusher notices this almost immediately. Security is sent after him. But this hard target search is going to have to take place over the entire ship because he doesn't have a com badge so the ship doesn't know where he is.

I really like this way of storytelling because I think a lot of modern Star Trek shows would give us a scene where a com badge is given to a crew person and maybe they talk about accidentally swallowing it or whatever. But in that scene, there is a crew person being trained on what it does. And I like over the last two episodes, this is a brand new technology for a Star Trek fan. What they've seen is this being used as a communicator and a monitoring device, and when it is removed from a person, they are suddenly very difficult to locate or communicate with. And I like how that's not just said it is shown.

Right. Beverly doesn't call up Yarr and go, Jardy took off his com badge, which is used as a tracking device. Exactly. So now we can't find him anywhere on the ship because he is not wearing the com badge, which is also a communicator. You know what? If Dr. Kresser wanted to filibuster, what is clearly hurt. fault. Like, she did a bad job in confining Jordy. You got to lock those doors, right? Got to lock the doors. Maybe a handcuff to the bio bed, you know? Oh, that's a tough look. I get it, but yeah. I told you about going out to Joshua Tree and

taking my daughter to the ER at midnight and the guy next to us was handcuffed to the bed. That's great. Did your daughter ask for one of those? I mean, I thought about giving her one. She's pre-verbal, so she was mostly just like going crazy because she's a baby and she wasn't asleep. But yeah, fun times. Honestly, Joshua Tree Emergency Room could be a really fun version of the pit, you know? The lighter pit. Yeah, like a spin-off series.

Yeah. I like it. Wesley is the only person on the ship that does not. know where Jordy is because Jordy is in Wesley's quarters checking out his science fair project, which is the miniature tractor beam. And I guess also just a personal project, which is the Captain Picard's speak and spell. Soundboards really had a moment, I feel like, in the early 2000s, right? The Schwarzenegger Soundboard specifically, I think was super fun. Every morning zoo crew did a prank call or two using that one.

This one doesn't seem fun or funny like that one. Like, neither of them seems to think there's any problem with either the technology or Jordy acting so weird. He just sort of staggers out of there. He's like, I got to get cool. This ain't the place to do it, Wesley. I don't know, man. Like, why did he go there to begin with was a question on my mind? He's just like wandering around and I don't, yeah, I don't know.

I mean, the next place we find him is in the observation lab. And this is another, like, why is he there kind of moment. And I really loved how creepy this scene was. He's just like staring out the window and Tasha Yard comes in. And he is saying all kinds of stuff about like, you know, suppressing the wild things that are coming into his mind. It's a slow scene and it makes it really creepy in a way that it's a pretty light episode. I think it is like an episode that is generally pitched as a silly track episode with comedy elements, but this scene is like genuinely skin-crawly to me.

Jordy, my job is security. Tasha, please. I mean, they're in the observation lounge bin, and Jordy has a lot of thoughts about what he can and cannot observe. Do you think two people is enough for a McLaughlin group? because this is where that tends to happen. But it's just the two of them. So I don't know if it rises to the level of being one. Yeah, he wants the simplicity of human sight.

And that's not really something she can help him with. But he gets his hands out and runs them over her face. And so she's got it. This is an awkward question, Ben. Do you think a blind person just has enhanced privileges and permissions, W-S-R-T touching other people. Because that's how they see, man. You can't get upset.

That's just how they're trying to see you. Man, no blind person has ever asked to run their hand over my face just to get a sense of what I look like. Do you feel a little bit bad about that? I might be like, hey, don't you want to know what I look like? Hey, the unsighted community? What the fuck? Do you just assume I'm shitty to look at?

What if I just reached out and grabbed their hand and rubbed it over my face? See me! Like, yeah, I don't want to look at that. Hey, Ben, is that what feeling seen is? It isn't, is it? I got it wrong. Is it seeing felt? That's just looking at a Muppet.

It's feeling seeing. Feeling seeing. You have to emphasize it that way. Yeah. So Yarr is reporting to Picard in Six Bay about what Jordy was going through when she ran into him. And she's looking a little bit sweaty around the temples now. But again, Crusher is like there's nothing wrong with him. Like it seems like he should have a fever based on what he looks like.

No offense, Jordy, but I'm sure you can feel that. Body temp is not elevated. No disease. It's interesting how just positioning your body in an unusual way in a scene makes the entire vibe very unusual. Like, Jordy's sitting cross-legged in the middle of a biobed in Six Bay as they're examining him feels like something's not right. Yeah. An adult person doesn't do that in a medical context. I think this is kind of like kind of the end of the creep show.

vibes in the episode. Like it gets sillier from here, but the scene like the one before it, very weird and creepy. And it's where we are reminded that this is a mystery. Like, why would 80 people kill themselves? Is it related to what's going on with Jordy? We just still don't know. I wonder what Picard thinks about mysteries at this point. I don't know. Yeah. We'll get to it sometime. He doesn't say anything out loud about it. Troy thinks, maybe he's drunk. Seems kind of drunk. This is an unfortunate bit of dialogue for the Betazoid Bloodhound here. Like, she's just stating the obvious again. Yeah.

If I didn't know better, I'd say he was intoxicated. Yes, and D.C. Fontana had her name removed from the writing credits of this episode, having wrote the first two drafts because she thought that Gene Roddenberry just turned it into a sex romp where all the female characters are used for their sexuality and not doing anything. interesting things, actually. I wonder if there's anything about that guy's reputation that seems unseemly. I don't know. It might be worth looking into also.

Cut to the bridge where data is looking into that thing, Reiker asked him about. And he's able to narrow down the search to an incident that happened on the TOS Enterprise. There are some very interesting similarities between their experiences and what's happening right now on the D. But good news, there's a cure. Ben, so Picard's like, let's send the ingredients to that over to Dr. Crusher and Six Bay and wrap up this problem. Do you think they've considered naming this episode parallels? I mean, that would really frustrate a writer a couple years from now.

So, yeah, they look into the library computer and see that this is a helping of TOS lasagna that's been reheated in a microwave. And Picard is like, hey, Beverage. Great news. Cure discovered. It's right here in the history books. Start whipping up batches. We cut over to Deanna Troyes' quarters

where for some reason, Tashiyar has broken in and is trying on her clothes. She wants a makeover. But now is not a great time for that. What do you think about this? Or this one? It's not for you.

When they touch hands, as Troy's trying to like gently encourage her to leave her home and set down all of her things. It's clear that something has been transferred between them. And right after, Yarr gets on out of there. And Troy snitches on her for being drunk at work. Yeah. Infected or intoxicated. It doesn't matter which at this point.

She's under the influence of something. I didn't like this for Troy, but then I realized she's a mandated reporter. She probably has to say. There is shockingly little made about the ship's security chief being compromised here. Like, after so many unusual incidents for the rest of the episode, there's a action-reaction happening. But at the end of this one, Picard orders nothing as a result. He and Riker walk away from Data, who's still at that backstation on the bridge looking at the computer. and there's another moment where the episode just lets a character be in the moment for a little while.

Like that lingering shot on data going like snootful, what are they talking about? Is great. Great little character moment that doesn't have any dialogue or direction. It's just Brent Spiner like do what data would do in this moment. Cut over to Six Bay where Wesley's showing off his mini tractor beam to his mom. But mom wants Wesley grounded because whatever is. going around on the ship. She doesn't want him to get.

He's complaining about the heat, and before she has time to suggest taking off the gigantic sweater he's wearing, she's distracted by a phone call from Picard and has to go report to him. How often does this happen in your household between you and your wife? Because when my wife says she's cold

and she is wearing very little, or if she says she's hot, and she's wearing two chunky sweaters on top of each other? You can't say much, Ben, as a helpful husband. As a helpful husband, I have learned to just be a total non-combatant in the temperature wars because they are ongoing no matter what temperature it is. Like, there is nothing that I can do to help the situation. When my wife says something about her internal temperature,

you see me restrain myself in a kind of way. I want to give feedback, but I can't, Ben. Speaking of that, did you clock the moment that Picard got it? Because I did not. There is usually a sound associated with the giving of this virus. But, yeah, in his case, it was hard to pick up. Yars still slinking around, and she sees something she likes. A science officer just wandering through engineering gets a man.

get to make out from her. Seems like she's kind of the super spreader on the ship. No pun intended. There's something very fun about the, like a two-handed kiss is so often a, you know, underneath the face on both sides, not a, I'm choosing watermelons from the produce department and like lifting it up on opposite sides the way Yarr goes in for this kiss. It's incredible. It's like she's going to twist off a.

head. She's a statue-esque woman and she's like a few inches tallerth into him and she really, you know, takes command of the situation. Yeah. An exciting way. The real commander of the situation is Captain Picard, who is wondering why it is taking so long to get the data transferred from the Silkovsky. And data's like, well, you know, every file I have to write the name of the ship in to like open it up and it takes forever. This is a reminder that it is dangerous to remain so near this collapsing star. You really want to distance yourself from a situation like this, otherwise people may associate you with the drama. Right. And want you to explain yourself when you didn't really have anything to do with that star in that way at that time. It's not your job.

Anyways, we cut down to the engineering playset where the only two people who apparently work there are called away. The chief engineer, Sarah McDougal, is called to the bridge by Captain Picard. And then Picard sends the man, the myth, the legend, Jim Shimoda to Six Bay. And Wesley wanders in. And he's like, I can't go.

They're like literally two people work here. So if I leave, there will be nobody minding the shop. And Wesley's like, I got you, buddy. You can take off. Is Shemota the worst babysitter ever? The sort of babysitter that believes anything the child tells him about what their parents would believe is okay for them to do? I thought this was insane. This is the worst thing Shemota will ever do, right?

Yeah, by far. Is it a handshake with Wesley that gets him all caught up? It's a good question. I mean, they both seem to know each other. Like, they're familiar. You're a friend of Jim Shimoda, and all of a sudden you're granted permission to run the whole engineering deck while all of the engineers are away. Yeah. When you're a friend of Jim Shimoda, does that mean you're into some recreational drug use?

Is that the code for that? I guess so, yeah. It's kind of the opposite. Yeah. So if you go to Star Trek Las Vegas and you're curious about if someone's carrying some gummies or whatever, you're like, hey, you a friend of Jim Shemota? and then what's the what's the answer to that? Incredible. All right. Lock it in.

The first beauty of every starbeat officer into the truth, scientific truth or historical truth or personal truth. So McDougal shows up on the bridge and this is the first Picard is hearing of her existence. I don't think he says her name even. He's like, what are you doing here? Who are you? It's got to be so embarrassing if you're McDougal. Given like the reputation Picard is cultivated in an episode and a half for being a real hardass about minor things. This is not how you want to be remembered if you're McDougal.

No, it really isn't. I mean, the thing about somebody who cultivates the hard ass reputation is that they're also sort of immune to this being a bad look for them. in a fucked up way. Like, we should all be like, hey, Picard, that's your chief engineer. You should know her name. But somehow, we're all so afraid of his fucking attitude. You got to stop sub-tweeting me on the show, Ben.

It's hurtful. Listen, when you don't have to have Wendy and Rob's name written on the back of your guitar every time we have a production meeting, I'll stop sub-tweeting you. Just then on the one-MC, like, it's great. The bang-bang of this scene is great

because McDougal reports Picard's like, I don't even know who you are or why you're here. And then on the one MC, Picard hears his own voice, giving command of the ship to Wesley. It's a huge escalation. Picard's log tells us so. This is a huge escalation. The stakes are really getting quite high now. I thought Beverly was working on a cure.

Wesley has got himself locked in the engineering bay, and Jim Shimoda stumbles right into the force field that Wesley has erected before swearing fealty to the new acting captain and becoming his accomplice. And Picard is like, McDougal, if that's what your real name is, and Riker, you guys have got to fucking get this kid out of there

and get the ship back under my command. Like, it's insane that a speak and spill tricked the my voice is my password thing. What are we doing here? On the bridge, Wharf and Data are reporting even more weird behavior happening all over the ship. And Picard hears some of this personally from Tasha Yar who blows in a speakerphone call to him. I'm pretty busy right at the moment. Jean-Luc.

Picard tells Data to go get Yar and bring her to Six Bay. She's clearly needing some medical attention. And also, for all department heads to report to the bridge, doesn't he understand? that there's sort of an outbreak of something and that gathering a bunch of people to the ship's most important place is probably not a great idea? It's interesting because this episode is both post-COVID

because it is far in the future, but also pre-COVID. We didn't know that at the time. Now we didn't. We would have made different decisions, wouldn't we? The glow-up on Tasha Yarr is sort of like belly dancer meets data. Like, she kind of matched his energy with her hair, right?

There's a middle ground between, like, the wet hair of a Japanese horror film and the titillation of a Tasha Yar Naked Now episode, right? Yeah. Do you think you could figure out where one turns into the other? I think it is somewhere in the millimeter of space in between Britney Spears low-cut pants and Tasha Yarlow-cut pants. Yeah. Yeah.

There is a lot going on in this scene seductively between YAR and Dada. And Yarr, over two episodes, has given us little breadcrumbs about her backstory, how terrible it was, how much trauma she feels about it. And in this scene,

she makes the case that her terrible childhood is a main reason for her desire to just experience love, to just experience the opposite of what she grew up feeling. And once data confirms that he is a fully programmed sex robot, it is clear that Tasha is going to get exactly what she wanted. A broad variety of pleasuring. Oh, you jewel, that's exactly what I hoped. Do you think Yarr is taking entirely, or is she giving in this moment? That is an interesting question, because fully functional does sort of imply that he can like achieve a peak but also I feel like the superpower of a lady

in being potentially multi-orgasmic and the superpower of data being like somebody who can go for as long as you want him to and never get tired yeah feels like two things that uh should never be together in the same place at the same time for like safety reasons there's a line of dialogue later where data talks about all the compare, like he compares the stuff about his body to humans. You know, prick me, do I not leak or whatever. Is that moment in direct

reference to this moment? Is that telling us that he busts? Yeah. Jack me, captain, and do I not bust? A lot of unanswered questions here, Ben. Riker tells the bridge about the isolini or chip situation

that Shimoda has caused. They're trying to like short out the power that Wesley is using to power his thing, but it's going to take some time. McDougal needs more time. And Troy comes in and she's like, hey, this is like pretty wild, Riker. Like I'm feeling everything. Like the liquid courage that is coursing through every mind on the ship, I've never seen this side of humanity. It's so arousing. Riker is just trying to work. and this is the exact worst time for an X to show up and cause drama at the workplace.

Like, good for Riker being the gentleman scooping her up like Tarzan and taking her to Six Bay. But there's a moment here where you just don't know what direction this scene is going to go and how badly Riker's going to be embarrassed by what she does. There is like a passage of time at it because we get the moment where Crusher tries to give the cure to Jordie and it doesn't work.

He also doesn't want it. Right. And my head canon is that in that interval, Riker did take Troy to her quarters, accommodate the desires that she had, and then took her to crush her. I don't believe that at all. I think that's a dark read on the situation.

You don't think so? No way. Riker is a hard one to pin down in this episode because he has a lot of physical contact. Like, when he comes into Six Bay, this is the scene where Beverly realizes that she's now been exposed also. because he touched her,

but he doesn't seem to get affected until really late in the episode in a like, this guy can hold his fucking liquor kind of way. Or he has extremely high immune response. Oh, maybe. He's been into so many ports of call all over the galaxy

that his body is just kind of ready for anything. Yeah. I mean, his dick looks like a pine cone, but also like that represents his ability to resist. all of these things. So Beverly infected, Riker infected, and the computer is like completely fucked up. And Riker's like, yeah, like we're all going to die

unless you can cure this disease, Beverly. Because unless those computer chips are put into that computer, the star is going to explode and we're not going to be able to get out of here. Hey, something big is happening this week that's going to change our lives and yours. We've been independent for, a week now. And the response from you and our viewers has been incredible, but we haven't quite yet reached 5,000 founders. It's looking like this is going to be the last week that title will be available, though. Maybe even the last day. The first 5,000 people who support us get that designation

permanently. If you've been thinking about it, but not doing anything, we need you to get in there. Tap that link in the show notes and make your membership happen right now, because we don't want you to miss out. Membership tiers start at $6 a month, and that includes the ad-free feed of all of our shows. Right now, this is the ad full feed. There's another version that doesn't have ads in it, and $6 a month gets you that, which is actually $5 a month if you pay for the year up front. That's what I call a deal, Adam. At $10, you get all of that plus regular live video hangs with me and Adam, and discounts at Podshop.biz. the full spread tier, you get everything but bigger discounts at Podshop.biz and a credit in our studio logo.

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The thinking in Six Bay is that everyone's got to be quarantined because people can't stop touching each other. But I love Rikers move here after being told this. Like, Rikers clearly infected. Beverly knows it. Rikers like, I don't got time for that. We got a ship to save. Like, none of that's going to matter if we blow up. He takes a similar leap to Wesley in the next seat because Picard is like on the face time with him.

And he's like, just give me back my fucking. ship kid. And Wesley's like, but what are you going to do? Like, what's the next thing? And Picard's like, I need my ship back so I can do a tractor beam on the, on the, fuck, what, how do you say it? It's Olkowski. It's the old kovsky? Anyways, that's what I got to do. And Wesley's like, cool idea. I'm going to do it. This is one of the many parts of your life I don't envy. Just the idea of trying to explain to a child, anything reasonable. Like, Picard is trying to negotiate with an idiot. So you mean I'm drunk?

I feel strange but also good. And like he steps on that conversational landmine of like just referring and passing to the idea of a tractor beam makes Wesley hang up the face time. Yeah. You can't say the idea of ice cream around a kid like this without that being assumed to be one of the things that is going to happen today. I feel like now would be a bad time for the start to collapse. Oh, sorry to say, Adam. That is when the star collapses. The card is so pressed that he's like talking to himself at this point.

What the hell is happening in engineering? He and Worf are really getting along like a house on fire up on the bridge. They both just like hate everything about this in every way. If Worf ever got infected with this thing, he would be a problem. Right? But don't Cligons have also super high tolerance? Isn't blood wine, like, it will, like, kill you unless you take a special enzyme beforehand? I guess so.

Like, part of the fun factor of this episode is that all the characters infected are not imposing. The way Wharf is, like, machine from 8mm. Like, there's something dark about him getting infected with something like this that changes the tone of things utterly. So Riker and McDougal still struggling to turn off Wesley's Forrestfield. meanwhile he has got the Tjolkovsky in a tractor beam and data stumbles onto the bridge, smashed, like in both senses of the word. And, you know, now Picard is like, he cannot roll his eyes far back enough in his head. He's so annoyed with everything.

And Crusher comes up onto the bridge. She's got to talk to him. A private matter. It's an urgent one. There's something Beverly says here that it felt like hearing. it for the first time. She says he owes her. Yeah. He owes her a fucking. I'm a woman. I haven't had the comfort of a husband, a man. And Picard is trying as hard as to restrain himself from doing that with the stuttering and the whispering, but I couldn't stop thinking about this. Why does she think he

owes her? I don't know. Something might have happened in their past and he had to go suddenly. Yeah. It sure seems that way. This is what I was talking about though. Like he, he wasn't drunk in the moment before he walked into the ready room, and suddenly he's, huh, ho, ho, ho, ho. You can't do something like that without Worf noticing. I mean, Warf doesn't really notice a lot, but he clocks this and reports it to Riker, who says he'll handle it. Among the many other things he's attempting to handle, got to say, Riker is doing a lot of work

this episode, and he's impressive with how much of it he's able to do. He's keeping it together at this party. I mean, you could say he's the one that's cleaning at the end of it. I think that's great. Yeah, thanks, thanks, Riker. So the star has now exploded and we can't get navigation controls online. And Shimoda and Crusher are still in the nook. McDougal finally gets the shield down and goes in and scolds Shimoda about his use of

Isolineer chips. But like, she's talking to the bridge and she's like, we got to get these all back into the computer in the next 14 minutes. It would take hours to do this. And Wes comes up with the great idea that data can move super fast. Get him down here. He can take care of this. Riker perp walks him into engineering and gets him to work.

But it's not seeming like he's going to have enough time. Even with data's enhanced, speedy, re-plugging in of the chip. Like, they still need to make up a minute of time here. And that's when Wesley looks at his little portable repulsor beam, looks at the piece of star material hurtling toward Enterprise, back down to the thing, back up to the star material. He's doing drunk guy math. And we zoom in on Wesley's head,

and there's like a toy monkey playing symbols. He's starting to put it together. I love that they have to kick McDougal and the balls one more time when she's like, it would take so long to do all the calculations for that. And he's like, no, not if you're a boy genius like me. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Yeah, I mean, he's never asked permission for anything up until this point. He gets to work on that idea.

Yeah. Speaking of work, Beverly has figured out the whole cure to the illness. She shoots up Jordy and Six Bay, and he feels immediately better. He is the guinea pig. and the second he feels better, she gives it to Picard and herself. Needle sharing, not a problem in this future. Now, that's good, right? Yeah.

And she gives the hypo to Picard and is like, go to Engineering immediately. I'll get on cooking up more of my new formula. And Picard goes down there and just starts kind of indiscriminately spraying people without even asking. Do you think Picard senses in this moment that his window for fucking, has closed. It kind of felt like that's what he went to Six Bay for. Yeah. And then he was like,

oh, I guess we have to work. Shit. Wesley's experiment works. It flings the Silcovsky into the star matter. The ship explodes. The star matter does not. But that gives them the time

for the last of the isyleneer chips to be plugged in and the Enterprise floors it out of there, just in time. RSVP, the USS Grissom, also known as the USS Sokolkowski. We barely knew her or liked her, really, for that matter. Picard really lets Wesley have it, the cure that is. And the seed in engineering ends with Shimoda still sitting on the floor, which I don't

think I've clocked before. I don't think he got it. I think they left him drunk. No, he gets shot up. I think Riker shoots him up. Oh, does he? Yeah, he takes one. All right, I must have been looking at my notes.

You think they just punished Shimoda? I kind of thought so. You just get to sit in it, Shimoda. He's still sitting on the floor. It's tough to be the drunkest or only drunk person in a social situation. Yeah. That's awful. Like, you're the one person at the party that barfed on the couch.

Like, god damn. You're the one that took the hero dose of the gummy? The lesson in this, according to Picard, is don't give into temptation. That's what's going to be the path to this being a good crew. If we can all resist temptation. And Picard continued to resist it for time in a merium. Yeah. Look to me as your role model of celibacy.

So everyone's got these high hopes for what's a lot of, ahead, why isn't Picard ordering everyone to take a shower? Because everyone returns to their stations. Everyone has been sweating all day. Yeah. I was grossed out by this. Sometimes that's just how it is, man. I spent 15 minutes outside yesterday putting a new car seat into my car and came back into the house, like, soaked through my t-shirt with sweat. And Wafie was like, we got to go right now. And I was like, can I change shirts? And she was like, that's all you can do. That's awful. Yeah.

This is becoming a speech. You're the captains, sir. You're entitled. I'm entitled to ramble on about something everyone knows. At the end of this episode, I think we just have one last thing to do. A little business before we get to our P1s, Adam. Okay. And that is a segment I'm calling Finish the Limerick.

We have a Limerick in the show today. that data starts to say and Picard cuts him off before he says a dirty word. I think we should riff up what the rest of the limerick could have been had data been allowed to continue. Okay. Remind me how the limerick goes.

There was a young lady from Venus whose body was shaped like a... Captain to security, come in! We're led to believe that that's going to be penis, right? Like, I think we could fill that one in, but then there's some more lines in every limerick. Okay.

An A, B, B, A, rhyme structure here. So we need to come up with one more thing that rhymes with Venus and penis. And then two other things. She got to thrusting and then started busting. And her orbit reached its zenith. When you're shaped like a bone, you'll never be alone. You'd be surprised at how long and how vain is. I got another one.

This is a little bit more Star Trek-y. She met up with flotter and dipped it in water. And now people say she's the cleanest. That's perfect. I think that's the winner, Ben. Nicely done. Well, it's time to open up a Priority One message from Nantucket, Adam. And then we're going to be back with a trivia game,

where the stakes could not be lower. Love it. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channel. You need a supplemental income. Supplement. Supplement. Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.

Adam, we have a promotional message here. It goes like this. Hello, FODs. Fellow FOD here. Inviting you to, if this is an emergency, where Paul Zeyek blogs super hard about autism, pop culture, and most importantly, very big feelings. Lego essays, you got it. TNG essays? Probably. At some point. On the off chance that there are other

neurodivergent FODs, Paul would be honored to have you stop by. Tell your neuro-uniform friends. Ben, Adam, thanks so much for all the lulls. Request a super-counter cut of Mbenga, my absolute favorite Strange New World's character saying amazing shit. Wow. Good request. Doc. Please dispense some wisdom. Okay.

Never get the house dressing. You don't want to try the omelette and the bacon. I'm the waffle. I don't know what I'm saying. I should probably go, Chief Kyle. But in the meantime, there is nothing. Technically, wrong with you. He does say all kinds of amazing shit.

The call to action is go to if this is an emergency.com to catch some big feelings today. Subscribe now. Yeah, this is Paul Zayek substack. And you can read a bunch of their writing here. I've been kind of like toying with the idea of getting back into Legos because of how much fun I had making my Lego enterprise. So I think I might cruise over past if this is an emergency. hang up and go to if this is an emergency.com. Ben, we got a personal priority one message here.

It's from Nick Dingman, Dingman. Tim Ma. And it's to you, Ben. Here's how that goes. Ben, I'm so sorry about Darwin. Last year, I lost the best cat I ever had in a similar situation. My veterinarian is my real-life F-O-D who introduced me to the pod, Dr. Griffith. Wow.

The next day he dropped off a heartfelt card, a loaf of salient. Dowerdough, and another envelope for when I'm ready with this. And there is a link here. Oh, boy. See, here we are clicking on a strange link. This says my computer has a virus. Ooh, let me click this. And it looks like a really nice handmade card.

On the front of the card, it says, after the rain. And then on the interior face of the cover, it says, comes a rainbow and it's a picture of a rainbow. And then the message from Dr. Griffith is, sorry I killed your cat. I have to say, it would have been nice to get that from the vet who helped my poor pup Darwin and his suffering.

Yeah, I mean, we've both been through it. So many FODs have been through this. Yeah. It's another reminder that a great vet is a really special person to have in your life. And I hope any of you out there who have one are letting them know that and doing what you can to convey that because, I mean, as hard as it is to go through what we've been through, Ben, in a fucked up way, that was just a Tuesday for our vets.

And that is just a big, big part of their professional lives. Yeah, thank you for your service, Dr. Griffith. Thanks for spreading the word about the pod. And thanks Nick Dingman for that kind note. Dingman. This last one is from a listener. It's to the hosts. Hey, B&A.

Congratulations on 10 years of pod. A question for you as professional TV watchers in the streaming era. 10 years ago, every show was on Netflix. How has balkanization of TV and movie content into countless dog shit streaming apps affected your experiences of watching TV? I'll take my answer from the hot dog cart. Ooh, good question, a listener. Uh, enjoy that dog.

I have to say, the way we used to watch these shows was easier. And for all of the complaints I have about the direction Netflix has gone as a, as a company and for what remains over there in terms of stuff I actually watch, their player has always been the best one to me. And one of the things that all of these. these streaming apps do for some completely fucked up reason is try to completely reimagine how the player will work. And so like different gestures on your remote or different buttons do different things and like nothing is quite what you expect. And in the case of Paramount Plus, if you pause, you can't like have the freeze frame of the thing you're trying to watch in an absolutely infuriating way. So I'd say overall, they are they are driving me towards.

the gray web and physical media as fast as I could possibly go. Yeah, I mean, for my part, I think it is, it's great to have the variety of, you know, catalogs in all of these places full of thousands of things to watch. I think it just made me more intentional. Like, I can't spend time browsing these things to find something to watch. I'm going to see what a friend watched on Letterbox and liked, and I'll go watch that. Like, the madness of browsing has become so impossible that it's almost like I don't really have streaming services at all anymore. Like, because I just don't engage with them that way.

I'm Googling where a thing I want to watch is streaming and then I'm going directly there and I'm getting it. I'm like someone who's running an errand to go get milk and they're not being distracted by the items at the checkstand that people buy impulsively. Can't do it. Well, thanks to everyone who got a priority one. message on the show today if you'd like to get one at the greatesttreck.com or podshop. And get your own today. We really appreciate it. Yeah, they help us support the production of the show. Adam, it's time for a game show called Who Wants to Be a Shemillionaire. Credible! Today's contestant is Adam Pranica, who is with us from Los Angeles, California.

Phone lines are open for our August tapings, so if you'd like to be a Shemillionaire, please Call in and test your knowledge of Jim Shimoda and actor Benjamin W.S. Lum, who portrayed him, as Adam is about to do. Adam, in this game, you will have four multiple-choice trivia questions in ascending difficulty and ascending value. The first question is worth $100. The last is worth $2,000. If you make it to the $500,000 level, you have opportunities to lock in your winning. and walk away. But if you don't lock in your winnings and you guess wrong, you win nothing!

They just took the hood off of me. I was just sitting at home moments ago and now I'm here. Who are you? I'm Regis Philbin and if you win big, you can use the money to buy any single item from Podshop.biz. So pick wisely as most items are in the $20 to $50 range. I suggest the Shimoda collection, items that celebrate our enjoyment of Ben Lum, Jim Shimoda, the celebrated conceptual artist Barbara Kruger, and no other things. You're acting like you don't just get whatever you want from Podshop.b.Biz using your own special offer code, Ben. Now let's play, Who Wants to Be a Shemillionaire! Okay. And now for the $100 question, what role did Jim Shemota hold on the Enterprise D? Was it A?

A. C. C. Lieutenant Junior Grade. C. Assistant Chief Engineer or D. Lieutenant Commander. C. Assistant Chief Engineer. Final answer? Yes. You are correct.

And you're on the board with $100, Adam. Yeah, this is going to get very expensive for you slash unfortunately us. Well, just remember, you can only use this to buy one item. Okay. So if there is a $2,000 item on the shop, you're welcome to get it if you make it that far. So I can't get like five license plate frames saying I can't do that? I mean, you could with your own money, but not with the prize winnings. Okay.

Next question. Ben Lum appeared on two episodes as two different characters on the hit situation comedy, Seinfeld. What two roles did he play? A, a baker and an architect. B, an importer and an exporter. C, a mailman and a stockboy. Or D, a transit cop and a library detective. Ben, I'm going to say C again.

See again. Is that your final answer? It is. And you are correct, Adam. He did in fact appear as a mailman and stock boy in two different episodes of Seinfeld. I really remember the mailman episode. I don't remember the stock boy one. I was listening for the answer that the mailman would appear in, and I just took that one.

All right, Adam, this is a pivotal moment in the game. You have an opportunity to lock it in at $200 or risk it all and keep moving up the ladder. Oh, Ben, you know I'm a gambling man. Let's go all in. All right. This is where the questions start to get hard for $500. It's not the only thing. On which of these Bill Tilly-ass television shows did Ben Lum not appear?

Here. A. Airwolf. B. Knight Rider. C. McGiver. D. Hawaii 5-O. God, those are some Bill Tilly ass shows. I mean, I got the three and then I was like, what's another Bill Tilly ass show? And then I put that one in. I'm going to say Hawaii 5-0. Oh, I'm so sorry, Adam. That is incorrect. You win nothing. You lose. Well, it was worth it to risk. Just for fun, do you want to hear the last two questions? That sounds like great fun.

Try your luck for bragging rights. Okay. The $1,000 question is, where was Ben Lum born? A, Honolulu, Hawaii, B, Los Angeles, California, C, Seattle, Washington, or D, Shemota, Japan. Ben, you would have given me a $1,000 credit to Pod Shoppeda Biz? And if you can find a single item that costs under $1,000, you'd be welcome to spend that there. Ben, I'm going to say Los Angeles, California. Incorrect.

Ben Lum was born in Honolulu, Hawaii. Yeah, of course he was. Last question, for $2,000, it would have been. Ben Lum acted in the 1990 Eddie Murphy, Nicknoldy, two-hander action comedy, another 48 hours with two other greatest gen legends. Who were they? A. Leonard Nimoy and Colomini. B. Nana visitor and John Delancey. C. C. Jeffrey Combs and Susie Plaxton or D. Biff Yeager and Bernie Casey. Oh, I like C. Susie Plaxton and who was the other? Jeffrey Combs. And Jeffrey Combs. Yeah, give me that one. Incorrect. In fact, Biff Yeager and Bernie Casey both have speaking parts in this film.

Yeah, it's been a long time since I've seen it. Jim Shimoda does not speak English in it. I think he's like a hotel owner in Chinatown in San Francisco and like yells some stuff at them when they come in to look for someone. You know, this is just the story of my life. I always get the easy ones. I always biff the hard ones. Just in whatever thing I'm doing, Ben. Yeah.

Well, it's been a lot of fun. And tune in next time for another exciting episode of Who Wants to Be a Shemil. That just about does it for today's episode of The Greatest Generation. I had a ton of fun talking about this one with you, Adam. This is, you know, like in the wider world of the fandom, kind of pilloried as a bad episode. And the more I watch it, the more I like it, I have to say. This feels like a comfort watch utterly. Why wouldn't you enjoy this?

Yeah. You don't like fun things if you don't like this episode. With that, we are going to leave the episode in the hands of our producer, Wendy Pretty, who will tell you some credits and tell you what to expect on the show next week. Take it away, Wendy. Bye, bye. The Greatest Generation is an expert Shemota podcast. It's hosted by Adam Pranika and Ben Harrison, and it's produced and edited by Wendy Pretty.

Next week, we will be back with another episode of Star Trek The Next Generation. So grab your favorite lady security officer and give her a spiky bird, because we'll be talking about season one episode four, Code of Honor. Music for the Greatest Generation is by Dark Materia. Social media is managed by the card daddy, Bill Tilley, and Rob Adler, who also puts together the greatest newsletter every month. Visit Podshop.biz to get signed up for that. You can also book a P1 there and find yourself some fun March, too.

And hey, we're just at week two of the relaunch of Greatest Gen as an independent listener-supported podcast, and that means your support can still really, really help right now. There are a lot of great new membership benefits available when you sign up. It's greatesttrek.com or you can just click the support link in the show notes right there in your podcatcher. Thank you so much. We really, really appreciate it. That's it for now. We'll see you next week on The Greatest Generation.

You just finished this episode, but we're not finished needing your help. Our shows went fully independent last week. That means no network, no CEO. No backup plan. Just skin on skin, man. We're doing it. We're out here in the electronic frontier building toward 5,000 founding members. People we call the founders.

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