The Greatest Generation - I Don’t Feel Comfortable With Children (S1E1&2)

Episode Date: January 25, 2016

Our premier episode as we set out on our journey to watch every episode of Star Trek The Next Generation.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation, a podcast by two people who are sort of a shame to have a podcast about Star Trek the next generation. I am your host Adam Pranaka, and with me is my hook.

And then we were going with our true identities here. I didn't, we, I guess I just sort of assumed we would use our real names, I guess we, let's just live our shames. Here. All right. I mean, we could just edit that out. Let's just edit that out. We'll have to pick new names for episode two.

Okay, yeah. Oh, that could be a trope of the shows that we have different identities each time. I think that's a great idea. Let's start right now. OK, before we started recording, I was telling you that I was just among some friends. And my wife said Ben has to go watch an episode of Star Trek,

so we can record a podcast about it later. And I felt kind of embarrassed. I told her not to tell people that. Very specifically. Yeah, but I love Star Trek. I guess I shouldn't be ashamed of it, but I sort of, I don't know, I guess I am a little bit. I think the show, if anything, is going to reveal something very shameful about both of us, which I think is just the useless forensic knowledge that we have about this show. Yeah. That we just have on tap. Right.

And at the ready, like, I can drop this knowledge pretty easy. And I haven't seen these episodes in years and years. Yeah. And that's something that gives me personally great shame. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you could have memorized some Shakespeare plays. Ben, I don't have my wife's phone number memorized. And I remember very clearly scenes from the first episode of this show that I haven't seen.

And how old is this show? When was the first episode? Like 25 years ago? Yeah, I'm going to guess we're looking at an 86 or an 87 as the, this is, this is something we probably should know. September 28th, 1987. Nice. Yeah, and so I think the premise of our podcast, at least so far, is basically this. We are going to watch every single episode of Star Trek, the Next Generation in chronological order.

And I think we reserve the right to change the premise of the show at any point. At any point, the tutus. Yeah, but for now, I think we're focused on the crown jewel in the series of Star Trek franchisees. Star Trek the Next Generation. I think I just want to piggyback on that comment just a little bit, Ben, because I think we differ quite a bit in terms of our hope for this show's popularity. I personally hope that no one listens. And this is basically got the vanity press of podcasts.

Right. Because I never want my wife to say something about me as shamefully as yours said about you. Yeah, next company. Yeah, that was a, that was a real surprise. And have you ever felt less affection from her than in that moment? You know, it was, I guess she kind of knows who she married. She wasn't saying it unaffectionately. She was saying it in the sort of, in sort of the same way as a mom would make a comment about you training. Ben's going to go play with this model train.

Right. In front of the cool kids that you don't want knowing that you still have a model train in the basement. Well, if anyone is still stuck around through this now, five minute preamble, you're free to leave. You're in a no obligation to stick with this. But for those of you who are bought in, let's start talking about season one episode one of Star Trek the Next Generation. So I think when we talk about the story, I think one of the things I wanted to talk about

with you was, was this story a good choice for the pilot episode of a science fiction series? I think it's super weird. It is super weird. I have very strong feelings about the character of Q, which who is prominently in parts of this story. And it's kind of the only part of this story that is providing any danger or suspense. But I'm much more interested in the enterprise coming up against the ethical and moral quantities of dealing with species that are equivalent technology or less technology than

them, but, you know, dealing with just kind of arbitrary Deus Ex Machina god characters, never kind of floats my boat. But it's also just like so silly. So the enterprise is supposed to go out to this far point station and they're sort of stopped mid space by this all powerful Q entity. And they're transported to this 2079 courtroom, I guess, that it actually seems like kind of a fun place, like despite the fact that they're metting out a very brutal form of justice. It seems like a lot of cost playing going on.

Some little people sprinkled in. Yeah, yeah. And soldiers that are doing nose drugs to give them the will to kill, I guess. It's so weird. It's like the actions that they take in going to far point are going to determine whether or not the human race is allowed to continue

by this all-powerful being. But I'd never really connect with the idea that Q is trying to kill all humans. And I feel like in the script sort of obfuscate whether it's all humans or just the enterprise, because the enterprise is sort of a stand-in for all humans. In the context of this episode, they're being stopped from going, like, further than mankind has ever gone before because the queue has an axe to grind. And stopped, my new, by like a giant electrical Pendleton blanket. That's like flatly laid out in front of them. Like doesn't make any sense why an omnipotent alien would travel. Bill the psycho-infant in space.

Yeah, exactly. I don't get that. That's one of many things that just doesn't make sense in this episode. Right. And Q is like, his main personal attack is to freeze you, which never happens again. Q appears a whole bunch more times in the franchise, and I don't think he ever freezes anybody ever again. I think it's because the costume department

just ran out of fire extinguisher. Yeah. There's one pretty cool shot when he magically thaws Tasha Yare back out, and they do a really solid cross fade between her being frozen and her being alive. Yeah, that was super well done, which you know what, to me, only made the scene afterwards where Patrick Stewart is half of his head isn't a vignette. Yeah.

That only makes that scene not make sense at all from a technical standpoint like they can pull off a transition That dust the snow off of Tasha Yard, but they can't have Patrick Stewart just Framed up properly to deliver lines and and like his scene is like Over a minute long. They can be cutting back to him and half of his head is dark one thing this this scene does do is set up the premise that Picard is a skilled orator and lawyer, essentially. And that comes back several times in the series where he's asked to argue in a court of law of one caliber or another, and he always does well. But basically, they convince the Q to judge them not based on the actions of their forebears, but based on their actions in the coming mission.

Don't judge us by our past behavior, but by our future potential. And I should say, I guess by this time they've separated the saucer section from the star drive, which is a scene that is set up as though it's going to be very suspenseful. You know, when they ask data, if it can be done and he says it's not advisable, but it's possible, there's zero margin for error. And then instead of playing suspenseful music and playing that that scene for suspense, they just play the title theme and it's like really triumphant and completely non-suspenseful. And they play it all the way through. Yeah. They play the entire track. Yeah. Can you do another example of this in any other show ever? No. They feel triumphant that they've been able to make a model that comes apart in two pieces. Also, does the risk seem worth it to you at any point?

The reason they're doing this is to get the women and children away from the danger. But they're doing this process for the very first time. Data has said that it's terrifically dangerous to do this at this speed. Right. How can they possibly say? They're both part of the ship. Right, which is the worst choice. Like they don't have anything to base that decision on.

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. It makes zero sense. We fade out for a commercial break and we fade back up and Commander William Riker is Wandering around far point meeting the the guy who's in charge Zorn and then you know meeting a couple of the other characters who we haven't haven't met yet and Boy is he a handsome devil William T. Riker. I think he establishes right away that he is the sexual icon character of the show. Yeah. I think, you know, during many of his interactions, they're sort of an innuendo.

The women look at him as he leaves in a very suggestive way. Absolutely. It's really in the forefront in a fun way, I think. Yeah. I think if you're reading for the part of Commander fun way, I think. I think if you're reading for the part of Commander Riker, I think you have to be excited about your potential as an actor to maybe have some make-out scenes. Do some sweet make-outs.

Have some sweet M.O. sashes. This is also the scene where Wesley tries to hook him up with his mom, right? Yeah, yeah, that happens. And then we're introduced to Jordy LaForge, who runs up and says that he's urgently wanted on board the enterprise. And this is when Riker first meets Captain Picard. They've never met before.

And man, Picard big dogs the shit out of Riker in this scene. Like Riker comes on board the battle bridge of the star drive section and Picard doesn't even turn and look at him for like the first couple of minutes of the scene. It is ridiculously uncomfortable. Yeah, I mean Riker's first interaction with him is with the back of his bald head Yeah, he comes on board and and Picard basically says like we're in some shit already like go watch this monitor and Watch the previously on yeah Totally just like watches like the first half of the episode on a TV while like some other stuff is going on in the foreground

like they just kind of like fade out and he's like sitting back watching TV. Oh man. It's so awful. Yeah. So Riker gets caught up and he quickly agrees with the captain that that shit is popping off and Picard kind of continues to big dog him and says like okay the saucer sections back go ahead and put us back together manually and everybody's terrified that that's going to go wrong. So they play the reconnecting of the two parts of the ship for like half of the suspense that they should

have played the separating part for. And keep in mind like the stakes are just as high. And for some reason, Picard Big Dog's in to doing it manually, whatever that means, we soon find out that reconnecting the saucer and stargive section manually involves just telling O'Brien and data how fast to go, and what angle to approach. It's the most low stakes manual way of doing it things ever, and when he does it successfully, everyone like turns around and looks at him admiringly like, oh my god, your instructions were so clear.

He told us to turn three degrees to the left like a pro like a fucking pro Oh, man like just further establishing like You know Picard might be big dogging him right now But like we know who the swinging dick of the of the bridge crew is and it's definitely Riker William T right there's then a scene where Picard and Riker, like meeting up in the observation lounge and Picard continues to like really be a shittaker about this issue of the Captain not going on away missions, which is basically just a scene to establish that, unlike the original series, the captain will not be constantly in needless harm, and then they also like plant that Picard hates children in this scene.

Ben, I've got to ask you something before we get off this scene that has just... I can't get it out of my head. I'm going to ask you a question and then I'm going to support the statement, all right? Okay. Does Riker have any reason to believe that Picard is not a pedophile based on what he tells him in that room? Because the way he says it... It's not for you to just give me a ship of children aboard.

Yes, sir. And I... I don't feel comfortable with children. And the way he acts towards Wesley when he finally goes into the bridge later, like do you remember what he says? I knew your father was me. It's a classic Get in the Van line.

It's, hey boy, I know your father. It's okay. To look around. I mean, it's pretty messed up. And if you were interviewing for a job, then and like upon getting that job You're your new boss like oh yeah staring out the window saying I don't feel comfortable with children How is that not a a classic?

I'm a pedophile, but I don't want to tell you I'm a pedophile sort of move It is a full-blown classic I'm a pedophile, and boy, it's given me a lot to think about. The only two scenes that I think we really need to touch on before we get to sort of the climactic events are the scene where Riker finds data in the holodeck, which is our first introduction to the idea that the Starship Enterprise has a magical hologram room where you can be swept away to anywhere. And data is attempting to whistle. Pop goes the weasel, I think. That's a theme that Riker knows very well. Right. Who's known for popping his Weasel in a manual fashion. Sure.

And Wesley Crusher comes in and slips into the drink and data pulls him out with his superhuman strength. So we get a lot of information about how data works because Riker doesn't quite buy that data's rank is real and then they all leave the holodeck together and Picard discovers that Wesley Crusher is getting his ship wet with the holographic water that he absorbs. Yeah, I mean, we realize data's waterproof. Also, that's an important part of his character development, I think. Yeah, he doesn't, he never sheds a tear and then immediately rusts out.

The special effects in the scene are great. The, you know, the holodeck door disappearing. It's probably as well done as it's done in the entire series in this scene. Yeah. It does a great job of kind of planting the potential of this thing without blowing it in the first go. It's almost the most fantastic thing about the show. Yeah.

As a kid when I was watching this I was like, I was just as enthralled by the idea of like being in a spaceship and going anywhere in the spaceship, but the holiday is almost more fantastic because you can go anywhere and be anyone. Yeah. Like why wouldn't you spend all your time in there? How did how did these people get anything done as some is there's a holiday Carousel. Yeah, and this is another thing that's like sort of this is like Riker's first experience of a holiday when when he first goes on He's like, oh, yeah, like I've read about this and then like they to demonstrates that one of the walls is holographic and like throws a rock at it and it fuzzes out.

But then like, I think by like season three, like, holodeck technology is like super mainstream, like everybody's just like over it, you know, it's not, it's not like, it doesn't like wow anybody's pants off that it exists. The way it does in this first episode, which maybe a little bit of a misstep on the part of the writers. Yeah, I just don't understand how, how is that not the heroine of the 24th century?

Like, you're constantly trying to chase the dragon of the coolest thing you could possibly imagine coming true in the holodeck. The hottest person that you could possibly imagine coming true in the holodeck. The hottest person that you could have totally consequence free sex with. I mean, there's no chance that Riker isn't immediately walking back into the holodeck and then creating a pig pile of like 40 alien women just like, yeah, it's probably filthy in disgusting. Yeah, so the other scene that we should just touch on

briefly is the cameo from DeForest Kelly as Bones McCoy, Doctor of the Enterprise from the original series in very scary old man makeup. Yeah, he didn't age very well. No, and the only thing that's really worth mentioning here is that it's hilarious seeing where he comments on how much data is exactly like a Vulcan and then says, well, the ship has the right name.

You treat her like a lady and she'll always bring you home, which is just such a weird line. Were you creeped out at McCoy calling data boy like a plantation owner? Yeah, it was a little boy like ten times. I don't see no points on your ears, boy. Yeah, like a plantation owner or just like a modern cop interacting with a person of color. Just an upsetting like condescension that didn't seem super warring to warranted. Didn't seem in his character either.

Yeah. My love is a piece of love and guilt about that, which long enough has to be seen. How many more years you're gonna throw it at? I think that we should probably just kind of get to the climax here, which is the whole question that they've been asking at Far Point Station is how did these aliens who all look homeless build this fantastic paradise-like station and then why are they still dressed

like they're homeless when they're living in the in the space station? I didn't think they were homeless. I thought they were related to Billy Crystal's character in the Princess bride. Oh yeah, maybe maybe a bit of both but things just seem a little bit too good to be true which is a great like Star Trek like conflict to have so they keep having to like have you pop up on the view screen of the Enterprise and go remember there are stakes blah blah blah but yeah the one weird thing about Star Trek is when things become too good or to be truer,

then they're normal life. Which is amazing. Yeah. But they discover that in fact, the space station is one of a pair of huge space-faring space jellyfishes, and the Bondi people of Denneb for have essentially enslaved one of them to be a space station, which is a really crazy concept

that they don't really explain much. Like how do they bring it down to the surface? How do they brought this giant space jellyfish that's supposed to be 12 times the size of the Starship Enterprise and then coaxed it into being a space station instead of being a jellyfish somehow. Yeah, it's like sticks and wheelbarrows. Yeah, and like everything is like stone construction with like heavy wooden doors. Like it's a real weird like halfway technologized like middle ages type of place. Like they go to see Zorn the administrators in his office at one point, and they'll like huge heavy

wood doors with cast iron fittings, like automatically swing open, like any doors in Star Trek would. And you're like, how did they open? Like, there's no technology in this whole fucking place. And then, then just suddenly the doors open. Did you also get a kick out of the squid that they trapped and turned into the station, gets free?

This is another one of the great special effects in this episode. It sort of shows up looking like the one that's not imprisoned is shows up looking like a spaceship that might be like a lamp that you buy in the sharp image, but then it flips over and it looks like a jellyfish. And it's like a really good transition effect that they pulled off. I thought the ship looked like Simon. Oh yeah.

Which made it hilarious when Warf goes like, yeah, we scanned the ship and it looks like nothing that has ever been found before and it is the most plain Jane. It's like by the book UFO drawing, what a UFO would look like ever. But so they realize that what is keeping the other alien on the planet's surface is that it doesn't have enough energy. So they modify a phaser and fire the energy beam until it turns into a similar,

but different color jellyfish and plies off. And this is a moment where I really wished that they would show what was going on, actually, on the station. Because when they fire that phaser, I just wanted to, like, cut to the surface with people, like, running and screaming. Like, ah!

Yeah, when they open up the arc in Raiders of the Lines, basically everyone has to melt at that moment. Right. It's the murder of millions of people. Yeah, which they don't seem to address the fact that people live there. And they do this. But yeah, and then, you know, the two aliens meet and counselor Troy the Half-Beta Zoid ships counselors there to tell us what emotions to feel about that

Yeah, I thought it was interesting that in the future in the 24th century that one of these Squid ships was pink and one of them was blue Just so just so the idiot viewer could understand like, one's a girl. Gender normative alien species. Yeah, yeah. Although the one that was coming to the rescue was the pink one. So that's pretty cool. That's pretty advanced. Right, and they and they touched domes to say hello again. These early episodes do feature some of the dudes

in dresses characters that you see in the background. There's like a short mini skirt, it's a starfleet uniform that Troy is wearing prominently in the foreground, but there's a couple of shots of far point station where there'll be like three or four dudes walking around in minis to go dresses and That's something that they abandoned pretty early on but like these early episodes. I really relish that

They really missed an opportunity to stick Dr. McCoy in one of those during his tour of the new ship. Yeah. Yeah I really just could you imagine his old balls dangling? Flore the fringe of that thing? old balls dangling, flew the fringe of that thing. Darmak and Jalab, and Dinarga. A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre- and post-show hangs,

to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it! The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information

for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds. Pat Naswalt.

Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are already open. Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goat try.

Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, rice. Hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in mine. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks.

But I'm hearing we need to get on this hard. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different.

Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two. What do you think?

Ono Ross and Kerry, available on MaximumFun.org. Well, Adam, this is the part of the show where we'll talk about what the next episode is and what we can remember about it. And also, so one power we have given ourselves in this series is that we each have a single veto over an episode per season. So there's seven seasons of Star Trek, the next generation. There's some real turkeys in the list of episodes.

There's like 170 something episodes of this show. And we would probably kill ourselves if we had to watch the 14 worst episodes among those. So we each have a veto. And we'll discuss what the next episode is and whether either of us wants to invoke our veto. I think that's a great idea. Yeah, so the next episode is the naked now.

And it's, let's see, the enterprise encounters a research ship where the personnel are all found dead. And they quickly become infected with the same affliction. One that is similar to that suffered by the crew of James T. Kirk's USS Enterprise decades before. Yeah, I don't really remember this episode that well based on that description, but I don't think I would invoke my veto.

I think it's like a, it's a Roddenberry script, so that's kind of, that's always fun for me. How about you? I remember nothing about this episode based on your episode capsule, but I clicked forward in Wikipedia to see how it was received. Yeah. And two sentences stick out to me. The initial reaction of some fans was dismay. And however you slice it up, this episode is pretty awful. Well, that to me means we definitely

have to watch it. Yeah, I think I think in a lot of ways the bad episodes are going to be more funny to us than the good ones. Well, I think that we should probably call it a night for this episode, but if that are a real fun time recording, the as poorly planned out and poorly thought out first episode of the greatest generation as the first episode of Star Trek the Next Generation. Yeah, I think if there's one thing we learn from this, it's that we can't promise it's going to get any better. Yeah, well they are best though.

Yeah, I think this is fun. I hope no one hears this ever. Yeah All right, well I've been I've been Ben Harrison All right, I've been Adam Pranaka and this has been the greatest generation season one episode one Was long and prosper I'm not gonna say that.