The Greatest Generation - Infinite Roundhouse (TNG S1E19)

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

When Admiral Quinn comes aboard with an attack dog investigator, Remmick puts the crew on edge looking for evidence of a conspiracy. But after Wesley ends up in second place at the Starfleet Entrance Exam, Picard sets his old friend’s mind at ease by turning down his offer for a promotion. Who is the Mike Tyson of the Federation? How did Admiral Quinn get so paranoid? What does the acting ensign dress uniform look like? It’s the episode that could have used a first alternate.Support the production of our shows Members get benefits including bonus episodes and an ad-free experienceSign up for our mailing list!Get a thing at podshop.biz!The Greatest Generation is hosted by Adam Pranica and Benjamin Ahr Harrison The show is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Instagram | BlueskyAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.socialSupport the production of The Greatest Generation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Want to hear an ad-free version of this show? Go to greatest.supercast.com. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage. Welcome to the Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison.

I'm Adam Pranica. I just, like, moved my jaw over to the side, and my entire head just popped. Like, the cartilage. Crunch. That was wild. Good pop or bad pop? No good. I feel amazing after that. Wow. Oh, yeah. So it was a release. It was like the San Andreas fault. They're saying it's getting ready to let something go.

My jaw felt like a crouton that I just crunched. Like it didn't crunch down. I moved it to the side. You know what I'm saying? Like that? Yeah. Have you ever gotten it real bad in the jaw? Like a ball or a, you know, my Tyson uppercut? You know my story with that was by hugging a really good friend that I hadn't seen in a long time a little too aggressively and it fucked up my jaw. Like I didn't break it and I didn't strain it but like my jaw was hurting for days after that. Damn.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So now I'm side hug only on even my best friends. I've noticed. Yeah. When I played ice hockey as a kid, you know, you're wearing. like a face mask with a chin pad in it so that if you take a dive like there's something in between

you and the ice that can give a little bit. But I took a check that like knocked my helmet back a little bit. It like wasn't the strap wasn't tightened enough. So my chin was exposed and then I got a hit from the other side that knocked me down and just like full force chin into the ice. Oh. And I like I was like a little out of alignment and really couldn't talk for like a a couple of days. I had to do the thing where you go around with like a little pad and a pencil expressing your needs to people that way. Was there a little bit of a part of you that enjoyed that? I'm never happier than when I'm emiserated in some way, Adam.

I love you, man. Follow-up question. Did you wear a bike guard when you played hockey? Because it seems like a great way to just spit chicklets all over the ice. I think I did after that. And yeah, like the one that like has the little rubber strap that you loop through the cage on your face mask. Hmm. Those good times. God, those are the days.

Yeah, when you did that for doing something active instead of sleeping. You said it. Tell you what, Wesley almost gets his teeth knocked out this episode. It really does. Exciting moment. The Mike Tyson of the Federation also. really aggressive in a run into him in the hallway context. It's season one, episode 19 of TNG today.

It's a little episode called Coming of Age. In our cold open, we've got Wesley running after Jake. And the reason he is is that Jake is a buddy he's concerned about. There's the feeling that Wesley unintentionally cut the line in front of him to take this entrance exam to Starfleet Academy. Like, you're both competing for the same thing. You're also friends. One of you's got to win. This is a theme that's repeated throughout this episode. Like when you compete against friends, someone's got to lose and people feel bad when that happens. In the sort of academic decathlon terms, it seems like what Wesley is going to be going on to

do on this planet is like going to regionals or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Jake missed it by 32 points. Is that a lot? There's an energy to this that I think is such a great choice, which is as they're talking,

Wesley's mom is on the intercom, like calling and calling and calling for her son to come to the transporter room. Mr. Crusher respond. I'm on my way, doctor. And this is not an embarrassment that Wesley conveys, but it's like an irritation.

Yeah, I mean, I think partly because Jake can hear it. And it seems as much like salt in the wound for Jake as it is Wesley's mom yelling, you know, don't forget to change your underpants every day at the window when she drops him off at the bus that's going to go to the state capital. It's interesting that like by Jake hearing what Beverage, is saying, he also understands this to be like the all aboard of the train to the academy test that he's going to miss out on too. So this is like emphasizing the shame and bad feelings that Jake has in this moment too. There is a whole story that stops here and picks back up later

with Jake that I know. I'm so curious about. But now we're following Wesley on his way to to Relva 7, where his Academy Admissions test will be taken. Relva sounds like one of the names Jerry Seinfeld auditions as the name of the girlfriend that he can't remember. What do you expect when your name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy? There's a lot I don't know about the female anatomy then. Relva 7 did get bullied a lot in elementary school. Are you kidding? They were merciless. Speaking of stick men, Admiral Quinn,

beams right up onto the transporter pad. The second Wesley is away. I love the efficiency of this. Yeah. One for one or two for one is what it is actually. It's great. His little buddy Dexter Ramek tagging along. Listen, they've come aboard with some important business and it's not really for all of the assembled bridge officers ears. Like a bunch of people are here to receive the Admiral and his attache. And the Admiral, wants to talk to Picard. And Picard's like, Grage, you, me and Riker can go sit down in an office somewhere. And no. Another moment of, like, slight embarrassment for all involved.

Like, this happening in front of everyone gives no polite pretext for, okay, like, I'm just going to go off with this guy and duck into a quiet room somewhere. For two reasons, right? Like, it's pretty aggressive the pushback that Quinn has about meeting in private. But also, I feel like Riker is welcome most places, and he seems to be the type that is invited to a lot of things. So it's shocking to him, too. He takes it in pretty good humor, but we head to the ready room where we learn that Remick is with basically like Starfleet internal affairs. and this is a surprise inspection.

He is going to pull this ship apart and go through it with a fine-tooth comb. Tell me what you suspect. It's inappropriate to discuss it at this time. Not only does Picard have to accede to every demand Remick makes aboard his ship. He's also not privileged to know what it is Remick is trying to find. There's an enthusiasm for this that is really, welcome to Picard. And the energy is very bank manager and Gerald from Gremlins. You know,

like there's the manager and the tody and Remick is the toady and he fucking loves this. Helzer, this is a bank, not a pet store. Very good, Gerald. Thank you, Mr. Cork. Even if you love doing this, you shouldn't act like you love doing this as much as Remick does. Yeah. His Elon for getting up people's asses. Nothing and no one will stand in my way. Perhaps only superseded by the a lawn of the thing that is up his ass, presumably, right now? Do you have, I mean, this very much feels like table setting for conspiracy as an episode. Absolutely.

If they are already infected, are they, like, assessing the ship for its seedability, or are they not infected yet? I would bet almost anything that they're not infected, and this is very early on in the spread of that, and they're just trying to figure it out. Well, Quinn has a room that he stays in when he's aboard, and that's where he'll be staying. We get an establishing shot of the Relva colony, which I really liked. This is not one that I can remember them reusing ever,

but really cool looking. It's interesting how much better one of these scenes becomes when you just add some flashing lights, you know? And I think maybe one of the pads, like landing pads is slowly rotating or something like just a little bit of light and movement makes such a huge difference it looks great yeah wesley is hanging around he hasn't made contact with anybody yet and a young lady named oliana enters the lab that he's in very curious about his unit don't worry i won't tell anyone has there ever been a character in all of star trek

that has had a parade of beautiful romantic possibilities, walked in front of them over a longer period of time, and fumbled the bag more often than Wesley? I mean, I would say that Boimler is the one comp, but that was like almost a joke about, you know? Well, the thing about the Boimler situation is that Boimler's women are throwing themselves at him. Bradworth, I'm soaked and juice

And I need help getting naked Just spray off with the hose, Leanne. And these women for Wesley are just around and available in a way that he can't comprehend. He just misses the cues. Yeah. He also gets to meet Tashonik and Mordock, The Mordock.

The Mordock? Yeah. They're all a little legendary in their own ways, right? They're comparing stories here, giving each other respect. It's fun. It seems like, the competition will be competitive between them.

Nobody goes like, hey, have you heard about this guy, uh, Jake Curland? I've heard he's also like making some noise in the, you know, he's coming up in the ranks. Like, I mean, I'm honestly glad Jake isn't here because he's the one to beat in my mind. Jake should be the first alternate and he should be ever present just watching this. Wouldn't you love that? He's like one of those extra jurors that they have.

that like has to pay attention to the case but doesn't get to cast a vote unless somebody gets sick. That's where I was going with that. Yeah. That'd add an incredible energy. Oh man. Like that's where he's taking the shuttle later. You're going to need me. Wesley's kind of surprised to hear that Mordock didn't just walk into the academy, you know? Like he's, Mordock should be offer only. He shouldn't have to audition. Right. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, I don't know who makes the case, but they all agree that Wesley may have the advantage for being someone who has experience on a real starship. Well, time to get to our stations,

and chivalry is not dead. Wesley pulls out the chair for Oliana, and unlike Riker, she sits. Here comes Lieutenant Chang, the proctor for the test, and he tells the students that only one of the four are going to continue on, and this test will be exhausting, and exciting and humiliating and surprising.

So get ready for anything. Speaking of proctoring, Ramek is just kind of hovering around the bridge, looming, lurking, writing notes at people, and nobody really cares for this. Jardy's like 10 and 2 on the steering wheel. Like, I don't know, man, like something about his presence just makes me feel

like I might be doing something wrong. I feel like in less skilled hands, this relationship between the A and the B story might feel a little bit too one to one. But I really like how both sides of the story are being tested in these different ways and there's a compatibility to the stress that people feel. I think it's really good.

Compatible stress, but also very different statuses of the characters because Riker is watching all this go down and expresses extreme disqualification. pleasure with Remick. Yeah. Which he is entitled to because he has achieved the rank of commander and as the executive officer of the ship. It is funny how he can give Remick some lip in a way no one else can and he chooses to at

every turn. Starship operations is his job and this is fucking everything up. So he goes to talk to Picard about like what is happening? Like why do I have to allow this guy up my ass? This is extremely frustrating. No less for me. but I promise cooperation and that's what we shall give. Picard doesn't know, and if he did know, he couldn't tell Riker.

I wasn't listening to any of the dialogue in this scene because Riker's just standing behind this chair in front of him and I'm like, is he going to do it? What's his leg going to do? Is he going to swing that leg, Riker? Swing it. And he doesn't. This guy knows how to get you excited.

This is foreplay. Like, he is going to let the be. drop in a bit. But right now, he's just getting you warmed up, just teasing a little bit, getting you excited. The great entertainers don't give you exactly what you want when you want it. No way. Anyways, he goes back out and just absolutely blows Remick away as he walks off the bridge and, you know, Remick is like yelling after him like, you have to sit down with me now. And Riker says, no fucking way. I'm busy. I'm leaving. We know these doors are opened by people yanking on cables. There's a speed at which Riker takes the horseshoe and heads up to the turbo lift that like,

man, middle season one, you got to trust that those doors are going to open. Otherwise, you're making the real. I mean, we've seen the outtakes. This doesn't happen perfectly 100% of the time. Yeah. He is charging for that elevator door. And speaking of going down, down on the planet, it's going down. Tricy problem about the intermix ratio you would need on a starship that has to go 100 light years. How do you do this math? But it's actually easy. It's one to one. It's not even really a problem. There's no math to do here. My head canon is that that's also the ratio of questions to one hour breaks. Like, oh, that was exhausting. All right. Everyone take an And then we'll be back for another one.

O'Leanna has just like inspector gadgeted her way here. Like she's failed upward at every turn. Everybody's like, man, she is brilliant. And she actually doesn't know anything. She's the kind of person who gets points off on her SAT for misspelling her name at the top. I thought she was kind of a drag starting now. Like nagging the people who she thinks everything comes easy to and then like saying she's got to work so much harder to keep up.

Like, what game are you playing, O'Ionna? Mind games. Mind games. Also, she drops the cute bomb on Wesley. Also, mind games. She said I was cute. Is that good, Wesley? Man, if I had like a PSAT and a girl I liked said I was cute,

I would definitely score like 20 to 30% worse in a middle school, high school context. She's playing a totally different game from everyone else. I love it. Oliana invented 3D chess, baby. Yeah. I have to push every step of the way. Riker comes back to the bridge. And I love this.

Like, we don't know where Riker went. I think he just went into the hallway to, like, catch his breath and cool off, maybe like smoke a cigarette. And he comes back and he's like, all right, that was, I was out of line. You're right. Like, we can sit down now. I love how he talks about maybe apologizing for blowing a stack earlier. And the door opens and Remick is right behind him.

we don't really get that apology that he suggests giving either I think that that has everything to do with Remick asking to do this in the ready room like right it is clearly an imposition and Picard is not going to say no because he's basically been ordered to say yes to everything be my guest he is a little weird about it

like doesn't feel right to him and on his behalf I feel like Riker is also feeling weird about it So we're going to go over all of the illegalities that have happened so far on Star Trek the next generation. But I feel like nothing is illegal in a Stolli ready room, you know, personally. Of course. I mean, the list is so long, Riker might want to sit down to hear this, and we finally get the leg swing over the chair. As soon as his ass hits the cushion, they start yelling at each other.

It is so much fun to see them get louder and louder. And then they both take a beat and then they kind of settle in. And there's an agreement that we will answer some questions here. What do you think about the vagary with which the idea that there are discrepancies or that something is wrong aboard is treated with? How could there not be? The ship has so many people on it. Yeah. Like I just feel like as we spend time with Remick, it never becomes more clear what type of a thing he is looking for. It is just a like stress test basically. Yeah. Yeah, it is. But that's what makes this episode so intense. It's like we don't know what's going to happen a few episodes from now with conspiracy. Like at the time, this is such a mystery. And the way that information is conveyed is so close.

to the vest, you can't help it not like Quinn and not like Remick. Remick is treating everybody like he is cross-examining them as a hostile witness. Like when we go down to engineering, he's talking to Jordi about the adventure with Kaczynski and the traveler and everything Jordi says Remick repeats back, but characterizes it as Picard, like letting a maniac get a hold of the ship. And Jordi is trying to shore up. He's like, no, no, no, don't put words in my mouth. That's not what I'm saying.

You should have seen the weirdo that guy brought on board with him with the fingers and, like, the blurring in and out of real life. Like, why don't you ask me about that guy? Because isn't it interesting that he wants to know about Kaczynski, but nothing about the traveler? Isn't Traveler kind of the main part of that story? Yeah. Is there any record of the traveler? Maybe that's the discrepancy. Yeah.

Yeah. In the ready room, Remick has emotional bloodhound Deanna Troy in the seat. What's you doing? Bloodhound doggy. Asking about what mental or emotional lapses. She's witnessed by the captain. And she's like, yeah, I mean, when you're being mind-controlled by a Ferengi, I guess that would qualify as an emotional lapse.

Fuck him, right? You know, we all could be doing better when we're mind-controlled by a, a frangy box get ball. Yeah. Worf finds Wesley in the holodeck, and Wesley was just here trying to think of something really scary to spook himself with so that he could study for the psyche veil test. And Worf is like, oh, I'll let you, I'll leave you to it.

Like, sorry, I didn't, I didn't mean to, like, come into your alone time, maybe, like, hang a gym sock on the door. But Wesley's like, I actually do feel like you, would be a uniquely interesting person to talk to about this, because I'm trying to design a program that will allow me to, like, rehearse a very scary scenario. One of my favorite early Wharf scenes, this thing about, like, the idea of relying on humans

who are easily kicked in half is hard for him. Like, he is a team player, but that doesn't come naturally to him as a warrior. I think you're right to call out that this represents something special and good about Wharf because I feel like this is the first time Worf has been depicted as a smart person in any way emotionally or or intelligence wise or like with his job or in any way he's always been someone that that someone else has to slap down a little bit or restrain yeah but he actually has a lot of emotional intelligence here for the

first time. And an emotional intelligence that is transferable. Like, he has an inner world that is legible to us as humans and also has lessons for the character he's talking to. And not just because he's a kid. Like, adults could get a lot out of the idea of like, why worry about things you can't control? Why fight mental battles about things that may not happen, you know? Why kick kids in half when you're playing soccer with them. Yeah, just get that out of your mind. You may have kicked someone in half on a soccer field. We don't think about that anymore.

You can't carry that with you for the rest of your life, you know? Yeah. My love is a peepa long in jail for that which longer nurse has the disease. How many more? You'll have to go again. On the bridge an alarm goes off. And that's because someone has breached the shuttle bay. It's Jake Curlin from the cold open.

and he's taking a previa for a spin. Do you think, I mean, Wesley's back on the ship at this point, any chance they bumped into each other, like, Jake, you can't do this, man, you're going to get in so much trouble. Jake's like, fuck you, Wesley. Have fun at the Academy, bitch. If you tell anyone, I'm going to destroy your reputation. I fucking love that idea.

Like, what if Jake's down there as the alternate, he comes back up and he's like, fuck this. There's not going to be a need for an alternate. I'm going to go work for the fucking freighter company. Yeah. Get my ass out of Dodge. Smart kid. There's a moment when the bridge crew is reacting to this shuttle hijacking.

Remick asks, like, isn't the shuttle bay secure? And Riker's response is not now, Remick. And I wondered if you meant, like, it's not secure now? Or like, don't ask about our security now. This isn't the time to bring that up. It's fun how it does both things. It really does. I also love the other shoe dropping of It's a Kid,

Remick being like, what the fuck is going on on this show? Just chill out, man. He's special. Yeah, yeah. Got to give him a wide berth. A birth so wide that they allow the shuttle to get so far away that they can't use the transporter or the tractor beam, and at no point is it on the table that they move the ship, that would be way too much trouble to move Enterprise.

I think that this scene is the reason they couldn't have Jake standing against the wall as the alt in all of the scenes because he screws up his intermix ratio and knocks his engine out almost immediately. And he would have known the answer if he'd been down there. Wow. Wow. You just tied it together. Nicely done Jake is freaking out though right Captain McCard such a good voice of reason here such a voice of calm when he gets him on the

face time they got to this is a very time sensitive situation right you can't just cold start the engine there needs to be like a minute before they can do that it is a moment that

Picard needs to keep even healed. Like he needs everybody to get on his level with his energy. And this is the first time that he claps back at Remick because Remick is trying to get into the situation the way he's been getting in every situation. And Picard is like, fuck off right now. I am doing something important. And he walks this kid through the like things he needs to do with the shuttle and how to reboot and everything. like every single other person on the bridge has completely lost hope, including data, who's like, yeah, it's unsurvivable what he's going through. He may as well already be dead.

What makes this moment better is the suggestion seems so bad on the surface. Like, aim directly at the planet, that's a sure way to die. Yeah. But there is so much trust in Picard that even when he has a crazy idea, even in a season, When his ideas have put the ship at risk, when he was taken over by an alien consciousness, Jake does what he says, and he bounces the shuttle off the atmosphere. And it is like, fist pumps all around. Even Remick fist pumps.

Nobody with a nubbin would know all of that stuff. Yeah. You know, would treat human life as sacredly as Picard does. I love how the mask slips a little bit with Remick. He's psyched, but then he's like, how did Jake Latterner? that shuttle, which is what I'm calling jaking a shuttle now. Wow. Wow.

He letary in that shuttle. Picard has to explain that sometimes a young man likes doing bad things, and this is just that. It's fun to do bad things. Picard clubs back against Remick again, but he also, like, reminds Riker, like, we do have to cooperate fully, kind of implying, like, do some malicious compliance at this point. Yeah. So down on the planet, Wesley is wandering around, gets into it with a big, tall, barrel-chested dude named Rondan. Mm-hmm.

How dare you? I am Rondon, you despicable melanoid slime worm. He bumped into Rondan and chose violence. Chose to issue a threat. And after the threat reaches a fever pitch, Rondan backs down and says he's a big, fan of Wesley's whole deal. And tack officer Chang comes up and is like, why did you do that? And Wesley reveals that he clocked the webbed fingers on that dude and therefore knew that

he was a Zaldan. And their people, they hate social niceties. They cannot stand them. They think it's phony bullshit. This was a test. They send these dudes down hallways on this plan all the time to see if the if the, if the candidates can clock their webbed fingers, I guess. Pretty great moment that this happens in front of Lieutenant Chang, praising his quick thinking.

Mordock's on the scene like, what the fuck? I never would have passed a test like that. And like the suggestion that they got to look out for mind games constantly here. You never know when it's going to happen. Not all tests are announced or what they appear to be. There is sort of an implicit lesson coming from Starfleet in this whole situation. which is that Starfleet cannot be trusted and you need to keep your head on a swivel at all times.

I feel like that is actually a good lesson given some of the other stuff that's going on. How far do they take these tests? You could conceive of an episode or a season where it's like Finchers the game where like Wesley wakes up in a torpedo tube coffin in Mexico and like has to make his way back to the academy in San Francisco. It's the cathars.

that Wesley's entire life needed actually. Yeah, yeah. Back on Enterprise, we get a really elegant sequence here that begins with Remick interviewing data in the observation lounge. He's like, hey, I got all these records. Records I can't look through myself because there's too many. I would like you to help me because I'm convinced there's something wrong about them and thus wrong with Captain Picard.

I wish data's pushback. I mean, data's pushback is like you're a redact. Assumption is bad and you should feel bad because there's nothing wrong with Picard, but I kind of wish he had called Remick on like, this is just, this is your job, dude. Like, don't make me do it. I have a job. I think this is part of the energy that you get in a lot of cop shows when internal affairs is involved and you're like in season four of homicide or whatever.

By now you really like these characters and you don't like that anyone is suspicious of them. This is that. This interview kind of sneakily cross cuts a few times. We get into Worf's interview and then Beverly's. Nobody is willing to take the bait. Remick keeps trying to set them up to throw Picard under the bus and nobody will do it. This is a Mike Vihar episode whose name you should recognize. But what I didn't know about that was that this is his only TNG episode.

No kidding. He really became a guy during DS9. Wow. I just sort of assumed that he did a bunch of TNG also. But based on his work in this episode, just really skilled. Yeah, yeah. We finally get to Picard defending his prime directive violation with the Edo. And there's something interesting about the wording that Remick uses

because it sort of implies that it's the Edo prime directive. that they kill someone if they break a law in the zone, and that's the prime directive that they broke, not the prime directive of Starfleet, but the prime directive of the Edo. That's fun. All to save Dr. Crusher's son. Why didn't you kill Wesley when you had the chance is sort of the implication here? I'm done with this charade. Picard walks out of there after dropping the greatest, most bizarre pronunciation of a word yet on this

show. He brings his complaint right to Quinn. This has been not just a giant pain in the ass for the ship, but a strain on their personal friendship. And Quinn says, yeah, like bad shit is going on. And I unfortunately think this strain is necessary given all this bad shit. The configuration of these quarters is really hilarious to me because, like, sometimes you'll get a hotel room with, like, a desk in it for writing. The writing. The right. that you clearly have to do when you're on a business trip. And this looks like that desk that Quinn is sitting at. It really does.

You know, good feng shui for not getting surprised if you're looking in your trapper keeper at your bug and enjoying the visual stimuli that that represents. Tough scene, tough, tough vibes. But we're going to get to the bottom of it. We're going to start talking to Remick about what it is he has been trying to uncover. It's only after Picard calls out that their friendship is being strained by all this. I thought that was really interesting. Like, Picard finally gets through to him.

And he's like, all right, I don't think the report is ready yet, but we could try asking Remick if he's done. It's just so sad what happens to Quinn and like, you know, the show never lets you forget it. Like Picard's always pulling out that little glass octagon that has a little hologram of Admiral Quinn standing smiling at him. Yeah. This is a deep friendship that is soon to be at an end, unfortunately. On the Quinn Hollow, his leg is sticking out like this. And it like slowly spins. So it's like an infinite roundhouse that he's doing.

What a legacy. You know, he's up in the dojo in the sky looking down on us. Yeah. on relva the testing continues and mordock sure is eating shit at the dynamic relationships test Wesley tries to encourage him from the next desk over and it works it works so well that mordock wins they were neck and neck the proctor comes in is like that was an interesting choice certainly that you made there Wesley you helped him lowering your own score when you're so close score-wise.

There wasn't, like, I wanted there to be, like, the golf tournament, like, a guy, like, moving the names up and down the big board thing. Same. And Jake, watching from the sidelines, ready to go into the game? Yeah, his name is, like, down off to the side. Do we know who finishes last? Is it to Shanik, or is it Olliana? It feels like it's Mordock or Wesley are the top two, right?

Yeah, that much is said. but I feel like Oliana's probably last. I do feel like it is more upsetting to imagine the Vulcan being last because the Vulcan like cannot abide that. That's where I'm at, yeah. It's probably already kind of like their backup school, right?

Like no Vulcan is like, ooh, just really want to be in Starfleet. It's like I didn't get admitted to the Science Academy. There is an implication here by Wesley helping Mordock that maybe the psych games have begun. Weird choice by Wesley, especially because the psych test is coming next. They're always watching, so everything is sort of a test in its own way.

Remick comes to Quinn's temporary quarters while Picard is there, and the results of his inquiry are not even worth writing down on paper. He's like, yeah, this is a chill spot. This guy actually runs a really tight ship, not really, anything worth reporting in the way of mistakes or missteps. I'm so impressed, as a matter of fact, that when I stop being a toadie, I'd like to come over here. I think that this would be a pretty nice place for me to land, actually. I could hench for you, Picard. You need someone like me, right? There's no way Riker's going to hench the way I could. That guy's a fucking golden

retriever. What you need in your corner is an attack dog. Yeah. I do like the idea of of Picard having someone like this on the squad. He clearly does not at this point. I mean, Yarr is kind of giving a little of this, but she's not as diabolical. You think Remick would cry in the penalty box? I don't think so. When one is in the penalty box, tears are permitted.

Quinn starts vaguely alluding to certain problems in the Federation. And this is all vibes. He has no evidence. He has no idea whether this threat is internal or external, no idea how big it is. He's just got an icky feeling about the whole deal with the Federation. And he wants to make sure he has people that he can trust close by while he tries to get his arms around this thing. This is what happens. You're an older person and you watch nothing but Federation News Network all day, every day. You turn into a paranoid? It's not healthy. The second Remick walks out of the room, Quinn is like, he's stealing my medicine, you know. The idea Quinn proposes to keep Picard close and Remick closer is promotion to Admiral, commentant at the Academy. You'd be down there on earth with me.

Picard is a little cheesed off that that's what this was all a pretext for. Right, because this is the moment that Admiral Quinn basically comes out with it. You said this was a charade? It is a charade. This was all just vetting, basically, to see if I was Academy Commandant material. This comes across as very complimentary to Picard. He does not know what we know about just how lame Starfleet Academy can be from time to time, how much better it is to be on a ship, having adventures. Yeah, I mean, he's got to think about it. Good job at least saying you'll think about it. Unambiguously, it's an honor.

And Quinn doesn't have to like sell him on it with a like, you can do your little project too. But it's a, you know, it's a big different thing. So Picard's got a mull it over. Quinn is going to need an answer pretty soon. So Picard commits to getting back to him this evening. On Relva, Wesley Crusher is waiting in the hall outside Mordock's psych test. And I got to believe that there was a lot of discussion about what Mordock would look like when he steps into the hallway after. Like, should we, like, put his vaporizer on sideways?

Right, right. Like, should we tear at some of his uniform? Are you all right? I will be. Whatever happened in there, whatever Mordock's deepest, darkest is, they saw his score and they're, like, mathematically, Crusher is eliminated. So let's tell Mordock now and then, like, get him in on it.

Yeah. What a moment. So he comes out with his hands shaking. Like, I am haunted by what I saw in there. It's fucked up. And it's wild because the way it's described, his experience, is very different from what Wesley sees when the door opens to the classroom, which is just a single chair and an empty room. He's like, oh, God, I think I know what this is.

I'm supposed to go for the record. I'm so stressed out, though. Just one office chair, one Nike shoe box. Absolutely zero screens. Good luck. You mean, I just have to use my imagination? That's impossible! I love how the music does so much work here,

because it's not just the sound of the banger outside the classroom. The music changes to, and then we get the addition of the alert claxon going off. And the evacuation warning, there's layers to this. Wesley goes down the hall, and his yells and presumably like the station sensors are not doing anything to summon an emergency response crew. So he goes in there, and there's a couple of guys. one of them is pinned under a bunch of rubble. The other is just kind of cowering in a nook.

There is something about this scene, Ben, that I'm hoping I can describe in a way that seems familiar. Okay, okay. This feels like the tram ride at an amusement park that, like, stops in front of the scene where, like, the pipe falls over, the fire starts, like the float plane jumps off of the thing and lands in the water.

The water comes rushing down the steps into the subway station. Yeah, like, that's the vibe of this. And I can't be specific about why what we're seeing in the environmental lab looks this way, but it looks like it could be reset back to one in that very same way in a way that feels like a specific choice, because that is what this is. I had the exact same thought at them. I looked at these pipes that they're like coming in at angles, and I'm like, I bet the second the door closed, they just like hinge back up into.

the ceiling and everybody's like, oh yeah, the environmental lab. There's a just soness about how everything is set up here that just feels wrong. Doesn't anyone see that this is wrong? I mean, part of what feels wrong is like they only had a little tiny bit of the flocking left that they used on Tasha Yarr and encounter at Farpoint and some of the characters in Naked Now. It's like using spray sunscreen that's just down to the bottom. Like, I don't know if this is going to work on my legs. Yeah. I guess we'll see.

I am the putters are born. Lock faces on my present. I am the putters are born. There are all lights. So Wesley somehow saves this guy. And also like this kind of came out of left field, but he does find a way to order Jordy to go do something that will surely kill him in the process. He's got the right stuff, Adam.

Extra points for killing Jordy. Totally. Bullshit, man. It's just bullshit. But he doesn't persuade that guy in the nook to save himself. And so the room, like, gets sealed off. The curtain falls and it has revealed that that was the psych test. And it was designed specifically for Wesley's psych profile.

You had to make a choice and you did. There's no right or wrong about it. This is a very sirens in the Odyssey moment. What Lieutenant Chang suggests here is that like the. psych evaluation is about Wesley having to make a hard decision exactly like Picard had to about killing his father

intentionally and with malice, which is what we know happened to him. But like, the thing that you want the most not being able to be gotten and so on and so forth, whatever that dialogue is in the Odyssey, you know what I'm trying to say. Yeah.

You can speak to us normally. You're as astute a word smith as any Christopher Nolan, Adam. I know. It would have been great if one of the actors was styled to look like Wesley's dad. And he's like, hey, hey, save me. And also, also want to have a catch when we're done here? I miss you. God, that's the only thing I want.

I do really love the guy like getting up and dusting himself off. It was big like the Russian dude Jerry had put in stolen cable, turns out to have been an FBI agent energy. Absolutely. What about the Russian guy? The Russian guy's the guy you want. I mean, you can't trust Starfleet. Starfleet doesn't want you to think you can trust Starfleet.

Yeah. Is this compromise in some way? Like this use of Wesley's darkest moment as a way to test him or manipulate him or something? Like, there's this idea that an employer could have this on you and use it. It's a little dark. If you wrote about something like deeply personal in your college admissions test and then your college was constantly like whipping this out to beat you over the head with, you'd be like, I have an amazing lawsuit on my hands.

Yeah. Yeah. So Riker hears from Picard that they've pulled the chair out for him. and he is pretty excited. I mean, does that mean this ship is mine, Picard? Like, is that what we're talking about here? This is tough to watch. Does everybody just move up one rung?

Be cool, Will Riker. Be cool. Yeah, I don't like seeing this. Yeah, yeah. But nice to be invited, Picard, like so. Mazel tov for that anyways. We get the final results. Chang addresses all four of the candidates. Unfortunately, Relva is only a lot at one spot in this year's freshman class at the Academy.

So only one of them gets to go. Oh, sorry, Wesley. I mean, you guys were all great. Any one of you would be happy to send. But Mordock had the highest score. First Benzied in Starfleet. Fucking Mordock tries to give it up. He's like, it's not fair.

It should go to Wesley. Shut up, Mordock. Nobody wants your fucking Starfleet Academy charity. Yeah. Yeah. it turns out that helping Mordock wasn't the difference and I love how that line hangs in the air here. Like actually that didn't have much to do with their choice and it really makes you wonder what did? Yeah.

The implication is that like the point delta there may have been smaller than you think. Maybe because helping helped a little bit even though like his points in the computer game were harmed. Lieutenant Chang like pulls Wesley up to the. side and shows him the post-game footage. It's like, if you hadn't pulled out the chair for Oliana, those are precious seconds that you could have used to win that very first test. And you blew it! Like Lieutenant Chang is like scarfing down the sandwich while he gives Leslie this information. Trying to hand him his transcript. And Wesley's like, it's a little greasy. I'm sorry. They never give you any napkins in this place. What am I supposed to use?

Do you think this is Wesley's biggest failure or is his biggest failure allowing Oliana to leave without locking that down? Where is she going? Does she live on Relva? It's a mystery. So much about O'Ionna is a mystery and will remain one. Yeah. Well, Picard is in formalware wandering around the hallways of the entrepreneur and he bumps into Jake who, you know, like the promise that was made to Remick is like Jake will be disciplined and here's the thing. He's a hot-headed young man and hot-headed young men make mistakes from time to time. I mean, I'm sure you never did Dexter, but it's normative. And I really love this conversation Picard has with Jake because it's like coming from this place of like such massive authority. Like Picard is not the guy that

even has to deal with disciplining Jake. Like, like, Jake is lucky that Picard is stopping to talk to him. Picard is so much more important and so much more of a guy than Jake is. But it's like this authority that you can place your full trust in, even when you betray it that Picard offers here. Like, you, you fucked up and you fucked up bad and you made it my problem. But I am not going to abandon you just because of that. Like, that is not my bag. as a leader. And it's a really powerful moment for his character, I think. I was shocked that Picard wasn't shocked, that Jake was free to move about the ship. Given his crime had so much to do with his free access to everything on board.

Hey, why don't we lock his quarters from the outside a little bit until we can figure this whole thing out, I thought would be the deal? Picard is not surprised to see Jake in the corridor is my point. Maybe his key card doesn't get him into the Star Drive section. Like he's confined to saucer. I like that a lot. Is that possible? Oh, but the shuttle bay is in the saucer, right?

Like the big shuttle bay that he left from? It's true, yeah. The main shuttle bay. Yeah. At the conclusion of this moment, I feel like Picard recognizes that, you know, I could create my own Starfleet Academy right here. on Enterprise by coaching up fine young men like Jake. And that way I'm not surrounded by children.

What is up with Jake's dad? Like Jake's dad sounds like a fucking asshole, by the way. I really, like, I had dad from Wonder Years pictured in my head. Like, a real hard-ass dad as his dad. And I did want to see him. Jake can't face him. But now, I mean, like, now Jake has to face his dad with, like, a way worse confession. It turns out his dad is the same dad as the dolphin polisher.

How many kids is this fucking guy have? Jesus. And they all hate him. All by different women? What is his deal? He's just been going around the saucer section, humping everything that moves? When you're in cetacean ops, you're real stick man, through and through. Mm-hmm.

Picard finds Wesley not in his dress uniform, not ready for the big dinner with the Admiral. Do you think that's because the acting ensign dress uniform is his exact uniform, except it's just super long like a night shirt? I wanted to see that version of what he's wearing. A thought occurred to be looking at Picard in this scene. Was the costume or bonked on the head that morning? And they looked at the script and it said dress uniform. And they said dress uniform.

Yeah. Dress uniform. I get it. Right. Picard is great with West. here too. I failed you and I failed the enterprise. Ridiculous. That's external shit and what's important is what you do with that like compete

against yourself. You can always try again against yourself and make this Wesley the one that future Wesley competes against. You could always get in on a marathon scholarship. The way I did. Anyways, I have to go turn the Admiral down and then we're going to Algern to run a marathon. We don't even get to see the dinner. Yeah, we don't miss the dinner scene.

Bummer. Yeah, just Picard back in his regular not dress uniform. Saying goodbye to Quinn and sound like, okay, wink wink, hope nothing bad happens. Hey, wait, where's Remick? Is he going with you or what? Yeah, he got his own exit. Maybe he wasn't invited to the dinner.

Yeah, he went home early. between his legs. That would have been awkward. Yeah. Nubbing between his legs, maybe. Hmm. Maybe the big one, it like takes a little time to take hold, you know? Oh, it's like, uh, motility.

Like there's a, there's a time it takes for it to, to move through. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Your, your peristalcis kind of like massages the big nub and bug, the mother nubbin into place. And then you go sit on that big chair that turns around to eliminate little Noven's.

Doesn't seem like it's all bad for Wesley Crusher. He gets his old job back on Enterprise, flying the ship around, and Picard makes a big show of giving him the order to take us into the next episode. And away they go. This is becoming a speech. You're the captains, though. You're entitled. I'm entitled to ramble on about something everyone knows.

I got a big question for you, Adam. Lay it on me. So we are counseled in the... this episode by Picard to measure our successes and failures from within. You could call that the measure of a man, right? I suppose so, yeah. A thing I've heard you say more than once in my presence is comparison as the thief of joy. I came up with that.

So is that true? I just saw that episode of SNL very recently, the Chris Riley show. So where he interviews Paul McCartney. It really feels like one of the more effortful things you got to do in your life, you know, especially if you're a person who socializes a lot. You're going to run into people at all the different steps in whatever game this is. And many of them are going to be doing better than you. And the practice is just to be happy for them and curious about their condition. and to not feel like they have something that you don't

or that you don't deserve or that there's a reason that they have something that you don't, or going the other way that like, if you meet other people who you happen to be doing better than, not being a fucking dick about it, you know? We're all on our own, I'm not going to say journeys because I fucking hate that word in this context, but like we're all on our different roads.

Yeah. All headed to the same place. Well, yeah. How hard is that for you? I don't know. I mean, I thought a lot about it in this episode because it's a message I kind of wish I had taken away from Star Trek more wholeheartedly than I think I did as a kid. That's a great, great call because there is so much about Star Trek that implies a competition throughout. And it's not like it's a we win, you lose kind of competition. But when you're a crew made up of the best, it often fuels. like, fuck, what if I'm not the best?

What does that mean for me? Right. In my enterprise material, I engage in a little negative self-talk from time to time. So I think when I see an episode like this, it is an important reminder for me to like, that voice is never going to go away, but I need to like de-emphasize how much stock I put in what that voice says.

And I really like felt for Jake in that way and for Wesley. too. Like they both, they both feel that they failed in very public ways. And then Jake, like, compounds that failure. By failing in a spectacularly public way. Yeah, yeah. Well, that was a big answer. We've got some P1s in the inbox. And once we're through with those, you are going to go through a psychological test, much like the Academy candidates did. Today's episode.

I am very excited about that. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secure channel. Need a supplemental. Supplement. Supplement. Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Okay, Adam, we got a personal one here from Doogh.

And it's to... Doge. I read the... That pause was perfect. Do not edit out. that pause. That was fun. That was me reading the pronunciation guide to make sure I did it right. Uh-huh. I think I got close. You did it. When you first described this podcast to me and sheepishly asked if I was a friend of DeSoto, I regret stomping your nuts at the time. Now, as I'm wrapping

up my third listen-through of the pod, it only seems right to publicly acknowledge that you were right about the greatness of TG. Lastly, because the drop and the epititle both slay me, Maggie O'Halloran drop! Would you like to hold my hand? Would you like to kiss me? Well, the morning, boys. The spirits have turned her into a cowl.

I'm not quite myself today. What kind of a girl do you think I am? Bitch, I'm a cagal man. I was walking around town with nothing but a bell around my neck. Everyone was staring at me. Wow. You know, I think doge the lesson for you is to be a little bit more open, you know, like approach a podcast recommendation with an open heart in the future. Because it might be a real gem or our show.

I think a reflexive nutshot is so natural for a you should listen to this podcast recommendation. You should listen to this Star Trek podcast. Yeah. What? Who do you think I am? I know that it is a lot we are asking of people when we ask for warning bois on our smash hit Star Trek podcast, Greatest Trek. Yeah.

But a good reminder over here. We could always use more nice five-star reviews. If you're inspired by doge, go leave one. It's a nice surprise, right? Like, doge opens up a can of tuna and inside is like a bunch of skittles. Yay! I love it.

I mean, this is not going to work that well in the salad misoes I was trying to make, but, hey, pretty skittles. Ben, we got a personal priority and message here to future Nicole, and it's from past Nicole. That message goes, Dear future Nicole, best wishes from your past self on starting the year teaching at a brand new school. It's going to be great. Ben and Adam, thanks so much for the years. a great pod and happy three-month

independency anniversary. Oh, thanks. Your jokes have gotten me through many stressful school years. Here's to many more! Thank you, past and future, Nicole, for all you do. Hopefully you haven't been caught playing this out loud in the

classroom, ever. Yeah, not something you want to push the media cart into the classroom and accidentally have the ox cable be the one that's connected to the speakers. the teacher's lounge, or maybe when you're rolling into the teacher parking session with your windows down, you want to roll those up? Right.

Clearly. Good warnings. Yeah. This is a personal from Friends of Michael Halperin to Friends of Esoto. It goes like this. This P1 marks the passing of Michael Halperin on 25th February, 26 in Los Angeles, California. Michael was an author, playwright, and TV writer whose work explored moral courage, Jewish identity, and the endurance of the human spirit. He is best known for writing the He-Man Masters of the Universe Bible, the Holocaust narrative Jacob's Rescue, and TNG season one episode six, Lonely Among Us, where he invented warf lightning and data as homes.

May his memory be a blessing. Wow. You can find out more about Michael Halperin's life by going to this link that they provided. It's he-man.org slash Michael-hyphen Halperin slash 1934-2026. Man, a really touching message from the friends of Michael Halperin. And I think we have a lot to thank him for in Warflightening. And, you know, we do have some mixed feelings about. data as Holmes, but you know, nobody's perfect, right?

I do want to share publicly that anytime I stay in a hotel, I replace the Gideon's Bible with the He-Man Masters of the Universe Bible. I just think that's the right thing to do. Yeah. It's the only Bible that matters to me. Right, right. Indeed, may his memory be a blessing and condolences to you friends of his who knew him personally.

If folks would like to leave a message on the show, I sure hope they will. You can go to Podshop.biz, click that Priority One Messages link right at the top of the page. And book yours today. It really means a lot to us. And it helps cover the cost of making this show. Thanks a lot. All right, Adam. We've known each other for a long time.

And we've always known about your fear of drinking piss on the show. According to a painstakingly created psych profile, I've had the boys in the lab work up. Piss drinking is one of your greatest fears. But what do you know about fear? Only fools have no fear. Let's see if you can answer these questions three about fear in science fiction. Get at least too right and you won't have to face your own greatest fear, which I will reveal if you have to. Face it.

That's always how this goes. Okay. All right. Hit me. First question. From the Dune universe. Complete this line from the Bene-Jeserite litany against fear. I must not fear.

Fear is the blank. Freshmaker? The correct answer was mind killer. Oh, yeah. Mind killer. Yeah, I knew that. Seems like Adam wants to face his fear. From Starship Troopers, at the end of the film,

Neil Patrick Harris puts his hand on an alien and pronounces it's afraid. To uproarious cheers, ironically revealing a inner humanity to these creatures and enthusiasm for their slaughter in the same moment. What is the subspecies of? of alien called in the film. Is it the hive queen, the brain bug, or the executor? Oh, I think it's the brain bug, because I think it looks very brainy too. It is the brain bug.

You are correct, Adam. The brain bug is also the fresh maker, right? The fresh maker. It is, yes. Okay, this last question, it all rides on this. One of the rare games I've designed where it isn't mathematically decided way ahead of the end. Hey, I just want to say congratulations. Thanks. From Star Trek, I have changed one word in one of these famous lines. Spot the fake quote. From Captain James T. Kirk in the original series,

the greatest danger facing us is ourselves, an irrational fear of the unknown. From Star Trek discovery. The only way to defeat fear is to tell it no. From Star Trek Voyager, Catherine Janeway said, fear only exist for one purpose to be ignored. Could you do that with the Janeway voice, which I love so much? Fear only exists for one purpose to be ignored. So much better that way. Yeah, you can just see her like hanging up the FaceTime. It's kind of nonsensical.

But I also feel like the discovery quote is like a whatever too. There's something so whatevery about the second one. I think the first one sounds true to Kirk. Yeah. Mostly because I think we play it as an interstitial. But is it in exactly that wording is the question. I know, yeah. One word has changed of all of those three quotes.

One little word. You're the type that would choose an insignificant word that just didn't fucking matter. And you know you are talking a lot about answer one in a way that is noticeable to me. Hmm. One, two, or three. Can you give me the first one again? From the original series Captain James T. Kirk.

The greatest danger facing us is ourselves, an irrational fear of the unknown. The ourselves part doesn't make sense. That feels like an addition. Hmm. I'm going with that one. You are incorrect, Adam. Oh. The quote is,

fear only exists for one purpose to be conquered. Let me ask you a question. Do we edit that line for the interstitial, the Kirk line? You know the greatest danger facing us is an irrational fear of the unknown. I think Goose like timed it out a little bit to be a little bit more rhythmic. I think that's what got me. Because I've heard it a thousand times without that middle part. And that did it.

When I looked up the quote, I was like, what the fuck is this word in here for? Our own show got me off the scent. That sucks. Well, I know that you fear drinking piss on the show, but that's not your greatest fear. We know your greatest fear, Adam. It's disorganization. Yeah. So for next week's podcast prep, you must face your fear.

But what form will this disorganization? organization take, you may choose between disorganized episode or disorganized mind. Next week we cover Star Trek the Next Generation, Season 1, Episode 20, Heart of Glory, which hails the return of the Klingons, and you can record in one of two ways. Either you will have to fill a gallon-sized freezer bag with beer and drink it through a straw over the course of our next recording. or you can do your prep with my diabolical re-edit of the episode, scrambling scenes, discarding some, adding others.

So basically the notes you use for recording a show anyway? Like you're just going to share your notes with me? My notes, but yeah. Fuck. That sounds so much worse than drinking a gallon of beer. Ben, I don't understand the conversion here. How many 40s is a gallon? Like three?

No. Do I have to finish the gallon-sized bag? How about no? That sounds like more fun. Uh-huh. But it also sounds like physically impossible. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It also looks cool as hell, drinking out of a big bag that way.

Here's the thing, what I will say to calm your mind. I'm pretty sure if you actually put a gallon of beer in one of those bags, it would be impossible to hold without spilling beer everywhere. Fuck, I don't like that. So I'm going to, I'm going to cap it. I'm going to put a cap on it. Any more than six beers, you don't have to put into the bag, but you do have to fill a bag with beer, if that is your choice. I was just checking our production calendar, and I'm just relieved that that's not an episode we're doing tomorrow. I will take the beer bag, please.

All right, beer bag at Shelby, Adam. You will be drinking something that on camera, hard to distinguish from piss in a bag. Big fun. I am very much looking forward to doing that, and I have plenty of time to get that many beers. Well, we will use that time wisely, and we will leave the rest of the episode in the capable hands of our producer. Please listen to those credits to hear about all of the people who work really hard to make this show possible, how you can help make this show possible, and what we got coming up. Bye-bye. The Greatest Generation is an expert's Shimoda podcast. It's hosted by Ben Harrison and Adam Pranica, and it's produced and edited by Wendy Pretty. Next week, we'll be back with another episode of Star Trek The Next Generation, so consider this year warning that a Klingon Moriare is about to arrive. It's season one, episode 20, Heart of Glory. Until then, we want to say thank you to all of the members who support this show. You can join them right now. You'll get an ad-free feed, plus a lot of great bonus episodes. Sign up at greatesttrecht.com. You can also just click. the support link that's in the show notes right there in your podcatcher. And of course, we thank you

for your support. Music for the Greatest Generation is by Dark Materia. Social media is managed by Bill Tilly and Rob Adler, who also puts together the greatest newsletter every month. Visit Podshop.biz to get signed up for that. You can also book a P1 there and find yourself some fun merch. All of that helps support the show too. So thanks. Follow our official social media pages on Instagram, Blue Sky, and YouTube, and use the hashtag, Greatest Gen when you post about the show. Don't forget to subscribe to Greatest Trek and join us for continuing coverage of Strange New Worlds Season 4. That's all for now. We'll see you next week on The Greatest Generation.

Make it so. Make it so. Uxbridge. Shimoda.