The Greatest Generation - Interplanetary Rubberband Men (S1E22)

Episode Date: April 6, 2016

When NPR turns us down for a Sunday slot, we turn our attention to the most egregious episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation that Nancy Reagan ever wrote. The Enterprise once again is playing host to squabbling aliens, but this time the shifty rednecks come with a twist: they're hooked on drugs. Bad drugs. Will the glittery Aryans get high on their own supply? Can Tasha Yar persuade Wesley (The Boy?) to keep on the straight and narrow? What would the Prime Directive have to say about the CIA supplying crack to the inner cities? It's the episode with one of the most abstract Drunk Shimodas yet!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Welcome to the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. Listen to you NPRing the open of this show.

You know they're never gonna have us. No, they gotta have us. Listen to that intro. This show belongs on a Sunday morning at like 9 a.m. Squeezed between like hard economic talk and... Yeah. Prairie Home Companion.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Let's look about it. Think about how the lead in numbers that Prairie Home Companion could get off of having this show. Imagine how confused our country is aging people will be ending that show in beginning this one. Oh, that is an ugly stereotype that is based on data.

Truly is. I saw a review on our iTunes that sort of scolded us for being embarrassed about being Star Trek fans. And I kind of wanted to talk to you about it because I think that we were sort of both surprised to discover that we could talk about Star Trek. Like, we've hung out a million times and it's never come up once and then we were joking around on Twitter one time and it just it just like went really deep really fast And I think that's because I don't lead with Star Trek knowledge in

typical social conversations do you? Yeah, it was sort of like the social conversations, do you? Yeah, it was sort of like the challenge coin equivalent of nerd conversation. Yeah. Like it's not something that I betray in normal conversation when I'm a man about town. Right, we were the dudes who knew each other

but didn't know each other's sexual orientation bumping into each other in a gay bar in the 70s. Right. That was sort of the situation. Right. Exactly. Not to diminish the struggle of the gay rights movement or anything like, we've come a

long way and that's a great thing. This is a show that will diminish all types of people. We're pretty equal opportunity in terms of who we diminish on a given episode. I think we're terrible people. I think that we apologize. The joke tends to be on us at the end of the day. Speaking of that shame, I think initially it was easy to feel embarrassed by the idea that we were going to dedicate our lives to this show. I mean, that is laughable, right? Right. Well, but like, I also sort of, I feel like the people that just like

I feel like the people that just like wear it on their sleeves and are very public with what they're big fans of are a lot stronger internally than I am in a lot of ways, you know? Like I don't wear any sports stuff outside because I wouldn't want to get into conversation with somebody about a team that they disagree with or whatever, I don't tend to telegraph my political leanings unless, you know, I feel like there's a certain comedic upside in it for me. Like you cover up your full sleeve gang-affiliated tattoos whenever you get out. Yeah. And just don't want that kind of trouble. Enthusiasts don't have that fear. So please don't think that in us being embarrassed to be doing this show, that should reflect on anybody that is listening. You do you will do us.

Yeah. Yeah, and don't let that be a reason to ding us the stars on iTunes. You fucking jerks. Yeah, I think that was a four star review. It's like, why even bother? Yeah, but here we are talking about it to open the show. So message received, he got what he wanted. Yeah.

Let's just cut all this out. First, you need every stoppiece officer, it's to the truth, find any truth, or a historical truth, or a personal truth. We've got a real whiz-banger of a show today. A real humdinger. Yeah, I mean, we've got, coming up is a season one episode 21, symbiosis, and an episode that was written by Nancy Reagan herself.

I had so many references to Nancy Reagan written it right now. You beat me to it. Yeah, I just, that was a race to the Nancy Reagan joke, and now you can just strike through all of them. Yeah, I mean, the only thing that I'll add is that it's a little surprising she didn't have a walk on cameo. You know, Nancy Reagan did look pretty alienish

at this point. Oh yeah. In the 80s. Yeah, I mean, Nancy Reagan looked like deforest Kelly with all that makeup in the first episode. Yeah. They wouldn't have had to do much to age her. But we haven't gotten to the part where it is revealed that this is a, an after school special about drugs. And that is a real reveal in this episode. I mean, it is. Yeah, it begins real innocently. You think you're going to get a cool star trek episode

and then you get a fucking lecture. So the Enterprise is taking a look at some kind of crazy star. They have to like put a black dot over the star on the main view screen because it's so bright. But it's like, you know, it's very active. There's lots of coronal ejections and sunspots and stuff like that. And it's, uh, have you noticed that, uh, that they do that thing? I'm starting to notice it, notice a pattern when they put things on the viewer. Have you noticed this? So they'll put something on the viewer and it'll be super small. And invariably someone asks to magnify it. I'm wondering

why when they put something on the viewer, it just doesn't already begin as magnified. What's about that? Yeah, there's definitely like times when they're like, there's a ship approaching and Captain Picard is like, are we in visual range and they're like, whoa, we can try and they put something on that's really small and they're like magn whoa, we can try. And they put something on that's really small. And they're like magnify that. And it just pops to full screen. It's sort of like the movie thing where you can just enhance anything in a computer scene. Like enhance and hence grid G 12.

Yeah. There's some great episodes of this show that do that. But we haven't gotten to them yet. So as they are getting closer and closer to the sun, they're really testing the shields of the ship. Like systems are shutting down. There's a lot of techno babble about what's going on with the ship and Wesley's computer system starts shorting out and arcs of electricity or rippling

around it and and Deanna Troy tells the captain that people are starting to get real on edge all over the ship and and he gets on the gets on the radio to reassure them and they get closer and closer and then suddenly everybody's attention is diverted because they're picking up a distress signal on a nearby planet or in orbit of a nearby planet. And this distress signal is coming from a freighter called, what's it called? Oh man, I didn't write it down. Sanction. Really?

Yeah, it's called sanction. Why is it called sanction? That's a terrible name. That's worse than Drake But anyways sanction is is in in trouble and is in a decaying orbit around The fourth I think it is I can't remember if this the third or the fourth planet, but there's there are They're in real serious shit and no one seems to care Yeah, on their shirt. I mean yeah, and and it's like this is a very weird moment because they're kind of like the Use clean screen is blurry when they get on FaceTime with the captain of the ship who's kind of a young man

It's hard to see him. It's hard to understand what they're saying and He's very casual and very disconnected from what's going on. And it's, again, a really different type of acting than we're used to seeing on the show. Like this guy is doing like a great realistic performance of like a stoner who doesn't give a shit about anything. Like, like he's really nailing it in a way

where it's like, this is the most natural acting performance we have yet seen on this show. And it's episode 22 or whatever. Yeah, you'd think the name of the ship is like USS Spin Doctors or something. It's real. They're really chilling with the most over there. Yeah, the USS hate ashberry.

Ha, ha, ha. But the, I think data scans the ship and he's like, oh, they just need this type of coil. We have one in our cargo hold. We can descend it to them. And Captain Picard's like, that sound good to you guys. And they're like, do you guys know how to install it? And Picard is the record.

And it's like, who is this asshole? And how does he in command of a ship? And he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. And he's kind of like besmirching the good name of a Starship captain. Caption, how long have you been in command of this crater? Seven years. It's my 26th voyage to Brecken.

And you don't know how to align a control coil. Never come up. Can anyone else over there do it? Hold on. I'll ask. Becomes clear that nobody on the ship has really got their act together enough to do anything with the help that the enterprise can provide. And all that can be done is beaming everybody off the ship

before the orbit decays so much that the ship explodes. So the ship is spiraling towards the planet. It's starting to get cooked. And so Tasha runs to the transporter room to see if she can't beam them back. So, I guess we're supposed to understand that Tasha is like the awesomest at the transporter at this point.

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, every time there's been an instance where they absolutely positively needed someone beamed back. Yeah. Which should be every time, but is only occasionally in the context of this program. She runs over to the transporter room and gets it done.

Yeah, when it's a tight spot. This time being no different. She calls over to the other ship from the transporter room and she's like, look, we get a link together, our transporters, so we can use their combined power to make this work because the star that they were studying moments before is is casting off all of this interference so Right and the guy gets back gets back to her. He's like you can do that Yeah, yeah, and and I think there's a moment where Tasha turns to Riker and it's like do they even want to live through this?

Like yeah, why aren't they even trying? the one thing that kind of breaks down here is that the way it's cut for the commercial break is they kind of build up this tension that they're gonna beam everybody over. They engage the transporter, what beams over is a bunch of barrels, and they're like, what the fuck?

And then there's like kind of a bunch of back and forth between the transporter room and the bridge. And it's like, and then it just suddenly all resets. Like they just do the same four things again. They're like, they didn't beam over the first time. What are they? Idiots and they finally get four out of the six people that were on board this ship.

So two of the people they beam up will come to know as T-John and Romus. And they're like the disheveled three-day beard growth, kind of ratty closed. One of them has got like seersucker overalls on. Like they're real, like like, Romas is the clearest of the group. And Tijon, folks will recognize as the guy that played Captain Kirk's son in the wrath of Khan. Right. And the third Star Trek movie and the sixth Star Trek movie. Oh yeah. And of course, the other two are, oh shit, I lost their name.

The other two are Sobi and Lengor. And I think it's Lengor who is Khan's kind of right hand man in the Wrath of Khan. of Khan. A little reunion. You know the story with him that I read when I was doing the research for this episode, is that actor, the guy who played Khan's number one on the reliant. So that Khan will aben. Do you remember that scene? Yes. So that that can will a Ben yeah, remember that scene. Yeah, so I shall avenge you

He is a ton of lines you remember like he is he is one of the main characters of that movie Totally do you know he goes uncredited? No really yeah his agent totally fucked him so his agent his agent was negotiating with Paramount and it's like look This agent totally fucked him. So his agent was negotiating with Paramount and was like, look, this Judson Scott guy is like stealing the show here. I think we got to move him up the actor cloud to maybe even above the title, you know, in a place of prominence. Yeah.

But cards like get, and Paramount's like, get fucked. We're not even going to give him a credit at all. What? And that's what happened. That seems so illegal. Yeah, I don't know how that happened. That is some gangsterific Hollywood shit. Yeah, and I think it wasn't long after that that there became an actor's union.

This is becoming a speech. You're the captain, sir. Very entitled. Hmm, not in a type that ramble on about something everyone knows. A Greatest Gen Live Show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends,

and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it! The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatisGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatisGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the share your embarrassment tour.

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. Anyways, all four of these idiots are really freaked out about this barrel that they sacrifice to the other people on the ship to beam up. And they're all really, really, of to find out that it's in the hold of the enterprise. But like, no sooner are they up there than they start fighting over who owns it.

Because I guess the other cargo onboard this freighter that didn't get beamed up was supposedly the payment for this barrel. Which, so we come to understand that the clean glossy people are brekkians and the shitty dechevilled guys are Ornarens. Sure. Or Narens, or Narens. It's hard to read that because it's like an Arn and N right next to each other.

Right. Ornarens. Ornarens. because it's like an R and an N right next to each other. Right. Orner and. Orner and. When you are, when you are of that planet, you are ornery. Ha ha ha. Hey, thanks dad. Boo.

So the story is this, the thing inside the barrels is Felicium, which has nothing to do with the show Felicity. Which I was disappointed to find out. Oh, dad, you're back. Oh, I love Kerry Russell. Yeah, and the story is that it's a medicine. So everybody on Onara has this plague and the only way they keep it at bay is Felicia.

And it's not a cure, but it manages the sickness so they can kind of live with a chronic illness and take this pill once every three days. But the two ornans that we have here to deal with are already looking real shitty. And it starts to become a concern. Like the captain has worried they might have brought their stupid plague on board and the doctor starts looking into it and you know like their ownership dispute over the medicine goes from the ward room to the sick bay It's like it's just like these guys will not shut up about about who owns this stuff

It's as simple as this the goods were never delivered. They were destroyed with your ship Hence the deal was in complete hence, possession of the Felicium remains ours. We need it. Yeah, and it becomes... It becomes clear that after some investigation by the doctor that maybe, in fact,

they aren't suffering from a disease and that maybe this Felicium has something to do with their illness. Yeah, and she discovers this when the Breckons like consent to giving a dose to the two guys that are there. And, you know, like, their symptoms go away immediately and the doctors like these dudes were were fucking withdrawing. They are not like... Yeah, the way they shoot that scene too

is totally like a heroin addict getting their works out and setting it up and like they shoot each other. Yeah, it's like the space rig. Yeah, yeah. Which I thought was super well done. Like there's been plenty of science fictions that have had some drug that everybody takes and gotten creative with how they administer it.

This is like the only example I can think of that seemed actually cool and sci-fi and not just like a dumb prop department jag. Yeah, it sort of made me want to try some, right? Mm-hmm, that should look still. Yeah. I mean, if we're trying to kick our crack habits, he could do a lot worse than just trading that addiction for a full ECM addiction. So they are feeling great after shooting up.

And this does not go unnoticed by Beverly, who starts to connect the dots. Yeah. And she's got a real like, got a real moral crusade going at this point because it is the 80s and drugs are bad and- And also this is something she can fix. She's like, well look, if this is just an addiction and we can synthesize something without any of the side effects, wean the entire planet off of this and all of a sudden everything's cool again.

Right, but Captain Picard is quick to reminder that their place is not to cure societies of what else them, and that would in fact be a prime directive violation of a pretty significant amount, because they're coming to understand that the relationship between these two planets is that Ormara is where all of the industry in the system takes place they they make everything that both the or marans and the brekkians

need to live and the brekkians make one thing they make philisium and the entire economy of their planet is based on exporting philisium to or mara entire economy of their planet is based on exporting full ECM to Ormara. So the Brakeians are like, yo, like this was like a year's worth of economic output for our planet. We can't just give it to the Ormarns. And the Ormarns are like you are dooming us to death because they do not understand that they are all just addicted to this substance. Yeah, it's been going on for 200 years, so it's really all they know.

Yeah. As the bridge crew are sort of putting this all together, there's really fucking obnoxious scene where Wesley turns the data and he's like, data, why do people do drugs? And Tasha being the coolest person on the bridge is like... Yeah, cool ant. She turns a chair around and sits in it backwards, like the cool guidance counselor. But it's artificial. It doesn't feel artificial until the drug wears off.

Then you pay the price. Before you know it, you're taking the drug not to feel good, but to keep from feeling bad. That's the trap. All you care about is getting your next dosage. Nothing else matters. I guess I just don't understand. She stops just sort of saying, and then you're chasing the dragon for the rest of your damn life, Wesley. And she like, she scratches the inside of one of her arms. Like, I think, I think the subtext here is that she knows of what she speaks. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she, she knows of what she speaks, but she doesn't resort to cracking an egg and then scrambling it to make her point. Smashing a frying pan across her kitchen,

unzipping her onesie and revealing a darsher underneath. Seriously, it is so heavy-handed that it's basically a turn to camera. Like, it's a good two-minute treatise on the danger of drugs. Kind of a bummer. It's a good two-minute treatise on the danger of drugs. Kind of a bummer. Yeah, and it is really the turd blossom on what would otherwise be like not a terrible episode?

Sure. Like, that scene just like reaches its crappy, didactic tendrils out into the rest of the episode and really brings it down a notch from where it would have been. It was a totally interesting and compelling story without that scene and made its point without the beating us over the head with our own hypodermic needle moment. I think many episodes ago I was bitching about how the show tended to bring up difficult social issues, but not necessarily resolve them or take a side.

I think this was an example of the show trying to go all the way and taking a side and it just really didn't work. Yeah, they didn't have any experience with doing that. Yeah. Yeah, so they, yeah, they like outsourced that scene to the writers of like, you know, different strokes or something. The Enterprise arrives at Ornara and Picard and and the doctor walk into Talk to sobian Lengor and they're like like We we really think you should give this

This medicine to through the moon. Oh, yeah, we're definitely going to And Picard is like, oh, you guys know what's going on. You are like interplanetary rubber bandmen. And this is like, this is a scheme. Like they have these people addicted and they've got the good life. Like all they have to do is cultivate this one crop and make this one drug. And they don't have to do anything else. They don't need a lift of finger. Everything else is taken care of for them. But what they don't count on is that Ornara's space fleet

consists of three ships, one of which just was destroyed. The other two are totally broken down. So the captain and a rather deft maneuver within the confines of the prime directive says, okay, you guys can take this one shipment of Phlecium down to your planet and organize like how how how payment is going to work, but we're not going to give you the parts that you are asking for to fix your other two ships, because that, in fact, would be the prime directive violation. If your ships break down, you'll have to figure out how to fix them. What he knows is that the entire planet will suffer greatly going through withdraw draws that could be avoided if the doctor just synthesized whatever her like her methadone equivalent would be. But yeah.

Yeah, Picard found a neat little little loophole there. Yeah, well he's doing he's doing them to some suffering but not death. Like they thought. Right, I don't think Picard is against doling out a little bit of suffering, if you can help it. Well, I think they are narins, like beam off the ship under the impression that they are going to their certain dooms.

Right, right, kind of a dark ending. Yeah. And I think by saying that, like, not a lot of fun as next gen episodes go. No, it definitely held my interest. I keenly felt the conflict and stuff, but it didn't have a cathartic ending. I think that that's an interesting thing that the show is able to do, right? If it's a prime directive issue, sometimes catharsis isn't available to them.

Right. I think that's the lesson. That's one of the lessons of the prime directive is that the victories associated with that are often purec, right? Totally. My love is a piece of glory, silver back that, which longed a nurse has a busy Tell me more, you're not going to go yet. I think one of the cool scenes in this episode that we didn't talk about was the fact that

T-John and Cletus can chew electricity out of their hands. Or at least T-John is the only one that can demonstrate that power, right? No, the Brekkians do it too. There's like a whole fight scene at the beginning with... Right, right. ...in the cargo bay. There's a great, there's a great yarline when she goes, gentlemen, behave yourselves. And then also cops to the idea that they can't take away their weapons when their weapons

are, are their hands that shoot electricity. Yeah, there's definitely a like a little a little scene where she and Riker discuss the fact that this is an interesting security conundrum that these guys are essentially electric yields. Yeah, two episodes in a row. Riker gets ensnared in some sort of electrical field. In the last episode, he gets encased in that, in that clear shield that Ecopypa 6 of 7 shoots at him. And then this time around, uh, T John, uh, gets him in the, in the iron claw, the electrical claw and, uh, and holds him hostage. Yeah. iron claw, the electrical claw, and holds him hostage.

Yeah. It's just this man will die if you don't give me my drugs and Picard's like, nah, you're not going to kill him. You're not a killer. So, so, so, Frakes, listen, you remember that last episode where you just stood really still and you had that scared look on your face? We need exactly the same thing.

Just stand around. Can need exactly the same thing. Just have a round. Can you do it? Yeah. Freaks is like, God, am I gonna have to do this every episode? This is why you guys hired me. Yeah, it really sells it though. Good job. Good job, Freaks.

Good job, Jay Freaks. Did you come across a potential drunk Shimoda for this episode as you were watching? Incredible. Drunk Shimoda! Didn't really write one down. I mean, I guess if I could get as abstract as this, I would say that stupid scene with Wesley

in the after school special moment. Right. Was my drunk Shimoda. It was really pulling the iselinier chips right out of the warp core of this episode. Oh man, well put. Yeah, if we could possibly call an entire scene a drunk Shimoda, that would be it. How about you? God, I mean, I had something else written down, but I don't think I could do better than

that really. Like, that was really brutal to watch. Like, and it was innocent, Wesley Crusher, asking to adult authority figures, what drugs are about, and the authority figures basically saying just say no. Yeah. Kind of brutal. I mean, and really, not to skip around too much in the story of the next generation,

but I mean, it does turn out, Wesley becomes addicted to a drug down the road. Does he or she like, he's the only one, I thought it was the only one that goes unscathed by that drug. Oh man, you're right. I can't remember. Do you think it has to do with the speech you got

from Tashi Yardhan? Is that why he's able to resist so long? We'll have to revisit this episode on that episode. Yeah, whatever episode that is. I think we'll call him Ashley Judd, right? Oh yeah, sure it is. He's trying to be cool for his date with Ashley Judd by squeezing one off, thinking about old Tashiar.

Oh, is that what he's doing? Then he remembers that piece of sage wisdom that she transmitted to him right before she bought the farm. God, lock the door to your cordless west. If you can. Yeah, kidding. Yeah! Dommok! Angela! And Denarger! Dommok!

And Denarger! Well, uh, what do we have coming up for our next episode? Our next episode is Skin of Evil. A rescue mission turns to tragedy when one of the enterprise officers is killed by an evil alien. Doesn't get more evil than armist, does it? No, armist is the evilist. He's like the root of all evil. I think much like symbiosis is an episode

about the evil of drugs. Skin of evil is an episode about the evil of the oil companies and corporations. I thought you were gonna say it was about the evil of skin. Oh no, no, could be. But yeah, they make the bad guy in this episode basically an oil slick. Yeah.

Yeah, they went down to the little braids carpets to shoot the ex-series for this one. Yeah, I remember this one really well. This one is seared in every next generation fans' memory spoiler alert it's the one where he artis and it's also the one where riker takes a takes an oil bath and you see his face coated in black oil. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's not how you want to go out, I think. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, me too. I don't even want to read about the reception to this episode because those haters because I'm super jazzed. Yeah, me too. I don't even want to read about the reception to this episode because. Fuck those haters. Because I'm super jazzed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, well, I'm looking forward to it. We will see you very soon on our next episode of the greatest generation. If you ever want to reach out to either of us, you can find us on the Twitter. I'm at Cut for Time and he is at Benjamin A.H.R. And use the hashtag greatest gen if you're tweeting about the show. I always love to see all of those jokes that people are making and spotting things that we missed in episodes and stuff. It's always it's it's it's fun yeah totally yeah if, if you feel like it, leave us a nice review on iTunes. If you don't feel like it, don't do it. Yeah.

If you feel like leaving us a bad review, maybe take a walk instead. Yeah, maybe fall down into an oil slick. Maybe suck a lemon. Yeah, do that. Our music is by Dark Materia. We love Dark Materia. We love this song, the card song, specifically, it bangs.

Yeah, that's it not. Alright, and I think we'll about do it for this episode. Ben, good pot. Good pot Adam, I've been Ben Harrison. I've been Adam Pranica, we'll see you next time.