The Greatest Generation - Just For Mensign (S6E23)

Episode Date: June 26, 2017

When Worf tampers with a smoke detector in his quarters, he's given a leave of absence to think about what he's done. But after a DNA test comes back positive for "deity," this new leader's presence c...reates political problems for the Klingon empire. How attached is Worf to his loaf? Can a holodeck babysit a child? Is Mr. DNA also Clippy? It's the episode that's like one long dead-air joke.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,
Starting point is 00:00:35 they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,
Starting point is 00:01:01 and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate
Starting point is 00:01:25 in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic
Starting point is 00:01:55 and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation. Star Trek Podcast by two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek Podcast. I'm Adam Pranika.
Starting point is 00:02:36 I'm Ben Harrison. Ben, I'm back where I belong. Studio A from the World Headquarters of Dorcia Films and Cloudy Seattle, Washington. Oh, we're name dropping our film production companies now, are we? I figure 140 episodes in might be a good time to make it clear that this isn't our only gig. Oh, I think that's clear Adam. I think most people do to the quality of our program understand that this is not the best skill that we have.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Anybody that listens has had a reflexive urge to send us an email that says, don't quit your day job. Or you guys need some help? I can help you. Ben, one of the viewers who really helps us a lot is the one and only Bill Tilly. Yeah. And he dropped a couple of boxes in the mail for us.
Starting point is 00:03:38 You wanna open up some mail? Let's open up some mail. Captain, I'm sorry to disturb you. I'm receiving a code 47. Verify? It is code 47, sir. Starfleet emergency frequency. Captions eyes only.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Bill Tilly didn't need to do this. He already does so much. Bill Tilly, one of the few who actually has our real home addresses. That's how much we trust Bill. Alright, I'm cutting into this box. So we both got boxes here. Yeah. I wonder if yours is bigger than mine. Oh my god Adam, I can see through some bubble wrap here.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Oh I haven't gotten. Whoa! Oh man. Holy shit! Oh wow. So what I have here at him is a Previa-style shuttlecraft. I guess this is the like newer model. It's not the bunk bed. It's not the Previa. It's the kind of it's the upgraded Previa. It's the upgraded Previa. It's got this you know how the shuttles all have their own names. This one's named Harrison. It is from the entrepreneur. Mine is named Pranica. And let's see, oh, the hood pops up. Inside we've got Riker William T at the helm.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Oh, and he's in his season one and two uniform. Oh, my Riker is kind of torn up. He's got a torn uniform. Oh, is he got dino damage? Yeah, I've also got an action jacket Picard. What? And he's perfectly sized for this shuttle. I have a fur-clad forangi in the back of mine.
Starting point is 00:05:38 I actually had this guy when I was a kid. You had a furry forangi? Yeah, I did. Wow, there's like, uh, there's places for the action figures to sit in the back. There's like, uh, there's little seat belts. Man, this is awesome. Whoa, how did you make the sound? There's little buttons on it.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Oh! We might not record an episode today. Let's just, let's instead of recording an episode today, just play with these. Then there's wheels on the bottom so you can scoot it around. Oh, that's great. Oh man, I'm going to set it up here with my Ferangue and I'm gonna throw in Peewee and Dirty Dog, the other two action figures I keep around. I'm gonna try to remember to post a picture of this on Twitter when this episode comes up. Letter from Bill inside says, Adam, you get after the holiday torn uniform,
Starting point is 00:06:47 Riker, and action jacket Picard. Mine says Ben, you get season two, all business Riker, and a furry, and gubadi. This is just the greatest gift. Wow. I love the customization. It is so cool. And like, the font is perfect. It's Star Trek font, so it looks like it's from the entrepreneur. It looks like it's Shuttlecraft, Franika, and Harrison. It's perfect.
Starting point is 00:07:14 It's so good. Bill Tilly, you have officially sealed yourself in the... I mean, as if you hadn't already. you have sealed yourself in the can and of great all-time friends of the pod. Hall of Fame. He's on the mountain. Indeed. Wow. My wife is going to be really upset about this. If you hear some rattling on the show today, it's just because I'm fidgeting with my shuttlecraft.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Really doesn't take much to thrill me. Thank you so much, Bill. Bill, you're the greatest! Wow. Unfortunately, we can't play with our toys for the next hour. We have a show to do. Yeah. You want to get to it, Ben?
Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah, let's do it. It's only right that we Record the program we're here to record. It's season six episode 23 Rightful air This is another one of those first shift taking over from third shift opens where data is like given a little update on what's happening on the ship to Riker as he comes on to the bridge. And they look around and they notice that
Starting point is 00:08:38 Wurf is conspicuously absent from showing up to work on time. He's a guy with a reputation for being punctual. Yeah. And so they're really worried about him, right? I mean, they call down to Worf's quarters and he doesn't answer. Yeah, it isn't a half day or anything like that.
Starting point is 00:08:59 The response is not, let's get a medical team. It's, let's get a security team. Go down there and see what's going on. I'm surprised they just didn't call it door guy. Like guessing that he was just stuck inside his quarters. Wow, somebody forgot to. Did you notice the guy that was standing at Worf Station behind Riker and Data while they're having this conversation?
Starting point is 00:09:24 It's totally another mid-50s you rolled Ensen. Yeah, and he is fascinated by the camera. He cannot look away. He is conspicuously inconspicuously back there. He's acting like a guy who doesn't think he's in frame. Yeah, exactly. He's staring, you know, he's just doing all of the things an extra should not be doing.
Starting point is 00:09:47 He's got that fun touch of gray, like he could use a little bit of just for Mensen. He's got that fun touch of gray, like he could use a little bit of just for Mensen. Yeah, well, they go down there and Worf has turned his quarters into a full blown, you know, like temple-slash-sweat lodge. Yeah, candles, there's incense. Yeah, they opened the door and smoked a sort of pours out.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Yeah. Like he's Samson from Halfbaked. The dulcet tones of Bob Marley. We get into the hall, and we get a real intense, like, wharf is sweating and sitting there, like chanting to himself, and we get a really intense crossed warfies to theme. Damaging, otherwise dismantling a smoke detector is always going to be a bad idea. That's why we've used this modified Tox screw to secure our smoke detector here on the entrepreneur.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Most people won't have this screwdriver that it'll detect most tamper. In addition to being a great danger to your family, it's also a federal fence. To tamper with a smoke detector in either a house or a commercial aircraft. We're not going to pass the inspection unless we get the smoke detectors set up properly. We get our first cross-eyed to commercial bin. Yeah. Woff is fucking sweaty. His loaf is dripping.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Yeah, they like, they definitely brought the spritzer on set and spritz down Woff's loaf. If there was ever any question about how glued on that loaf is to Michael Dorn, those questions are answered. Like, I thought for sure that that was not the sort of thing you could swim in. That is not a water soluble loaf. No. So what do you think is going on here?
Starting point is 00:11:45 Is he like in a trance or is he going nuts? Or why does he ignore the, when they radio down to him? I don't think experimenting with carbon monoxide poisoning is a good idea. Yeah. I think he's almost dead. You would think that the climate control system on the entrepreneur would have warned
Starting point is 00:12:06 them about all of the fire, all of the open flames in more squatters. It's got to be a lot like a submarine. Fire has got to be one of the most dangerous things on a starship. Yeah. What they should have done is opened that Doran had Denzel do a shoulder roll over the table to hit the button that turns on the fire suppressant system. Now would be a great time for Picard to do an emergency action message.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Conradio receiving emergency action message recommend alert one, recommend alert one. Yeah, he's got to test the readiness. Well, you know, that's kind of like a gelica move more than a Picard move. Yeah. So the deal is like Worf explains it Picard. He's just been in a real funk ever since his birthright episode. Does this have something to do with the Klingons you rescued from Kariya 4? I guess it became more meaningful to him in so doing.
Starting point is 00:13:00 And so- I was shocked that they did a mid-season callback. I know. Most of these episodes are so bodily. They started going into this backstory and I'm like, what are you guys talking about? I'm not supposed to be self-referential. You're not supposed to be aware of a thing that happened a few weeks ago. Picard choose him out. On your feet, Lieutenant.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Yeah, he starts really pissed like he he comes in and I can't think of a time that Picard's made somebody stand at attention. That wasn't a kid who had just jaked a shuttle. He only ever seems to be a mad at kids. Yeah, I guess he was mad at Wesley that one time Wesley was trying to cover up the death of a friend. One of Picard's first questions is like, why didn't you just do this on the holodeck? And warfs response is something like, well, that smoke can't fuck me up the way that this smoke can. Everything had to be real if K-Less were to appear.
Starting point is 00:13:56 And just thinking about the amount of dubbage you would need to bring down to the holodeck to hotbox of volume that big. You know? Like, come on, I'm on an officer's budget here. You know, I can't swing that kind of, that kind of. You also don't want to be seen walking through the corridor with your works. You know, you could blow hella clouds out of one of those giant crayons they use for transporting things.
Starting point is 00:14:23 That looks more like a vape though, you know. Even Warf knows you can't look cool doing that. Dude, I was in an Uber, in LA, long story for like 90 minutes that I'm not going to tell, but he was vaping while driving. It really pissed me off. Yeah. I don't think that's right. That's what you get for doing in Uber, Adam.
Starting point is 00:14:54 I know. I need to quit Uber. Gotta cut that Uber. You get to save that for in-between drives, I think. Yeah, that's not really a good customer service. That's not what the sharing economy is based on You know, I feel like he was doing it very like flamboyantly like and then ask me what flavor my vape juice is kind of way But I wasn't gonna ask him. I didn't give a shit But guard really comes around in this conversation though like he starts pissed and becomes
Starting point is 00:15:23 incredibly conversation though. He starts pissed and becomes incredibly lenient by the end of the conversation. He comes in looking like he's going to put a boot in Worf's ass and lines up giving him a previa and saying, like, as of this moment, Mr. Wolf, you are on leave. Figure out what you need to figure out W-slash-R-slash-T-K- less. It also contradicts Picard's feelings of I think last season's cliffhanger where Picard's like, we don't grant leaves of absence, dude. So it's either here or there, pick a side, and then as you'll remember,
Starting point is 00:15:58 Worf chose the other side. So I guess he's become more permissive. BEEP. Couple of policy announcements. We've changed our policy with regards to leaves of absence. If you become bad at your duties, you can easily apply for a leave of absence now. If Warf knew that he could have gotten that leave just by setting fire to his quarters, I think he would have done that a long time ago.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Worf is very willing to destroy things in advance his career. His balls chair must be stinky now. Do you think he has to change quarters after smoking it out like that? One fire smell out of a house. Once there's a fire in it, man. I'm wondering if that fire smells better than the taint funk that is on the ball's chair prior to this episode. Where was Alexander?
Starting point is 00:16:54 Probably school. Warf was in there getting smoked out for like 14 hours. Yeah. How many terrible ass trays can you make in that amount of time if you're Alexander? If you're a parent on the entrepreneur, could you like go down to the holodeck, set up a version of your quarters and a version of yourself to look after your kid for a while? Oh, that's... that would be the best babysitter, wouldn't it?
Starting point is 00:17:21 Yeah, the kid, it's a seamless situation for the kid. They wake up one morning and they, as far as they know, are in the same quarters they're always in. You know, mom is bumping into potted plants and stuff, but mostly she's basically the same. Wow. And, and Alexander's probably young enough not to be able to tell the difference. Someone on Twitter called Alexander Dwarf.
Starting point is 00:17:45 I thought that was really funny. Like deaposter-view-warf? Yeah. That's good. It's a fun portmanteau. So we get a very bad matte painting of the temple of Boreth. This is maybe the lowest res matte painting in the entire series. It looks like one of those miniature paintings that you buy on vacation.
Starting point is 00:18:15 You know, like some guys got a little card table set up on the sidewalk outside of some tourist attraction. It looks like one of those mountain top towns in Skyrim. It basically looks the same inside here as the inside of Worf's Quarters. Like you did a great job of reproducing this effect. Right. And it's just a sweaty.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Like there's a bunch of Klingons sitting around doing chants. They're like, it's like a religious site. It's like doing the hodge if you're a Klingon. It seems a little Buddhist monastery-esque as well. Yeah, they're waiting for Kales to return. Kales is the kind of like ultimate badass of Klingon mythology, and he was proficied to return to the land of the living from Stovacore and lead the Klingons and some kind of like second great empire.
Starting point is 00:19:12 And so this is where he's supposed to reappear so they've built this kind of religious installation surrounding it and they sit there on chant and like hope that they can like hallucinate visions of him in the in the fire light. And we see an example of this, right? Like there's like a little kid there, like a you know 17 year old Klingon who is claiming that he's having a vision. And it really kind of like continues to erode warfs sense of faith because he's looking at this kid and it you know the kid is his having a totally subjective
Starting point is 00:19:53 experience that can't be verified by any outside party so Wharf just looks at him and it's it's pretty clear from Dorn's performance that he doesn't believe this kid and it kind of It kind of like puts an end to the experiment for him. He's given this 10 days He's inhaled a lot of smoke in that amount of time. He could probably use some fresh air. He probably reeks like campfire too. And with all that hair. All that hair.
Starting point is 00:20:15 Oh, all those little nooks and crannies in his loaf are just full of particles from the smoke. Dry shampoo is not going to take care of this problem. He's gotta go full-mot with it. Yeah. Well, the head rabbi from the temple comes in and he's like, Wharf, what are you doing? You're packing up and Wharf is like,
Starting point is 00:20:38 I have had no visions, I have received no insight, there is nothing here for me. And the rabbi corath really talks worth into like putting one more effort in. Like going back and continuing his chant. And he basically appeals to him on a like it's shocking to see the son of Mogue not seeing something through. Like fatherhood. Yeah, I mean, like it's weird how Warf can kind of oscillate between being an unknown to the most famous Klingon.
Starting point is 00:21:15 Yeah. Like everybody seems to either have never heard of him or know exactly who he is in his entire family history. Do you think warfs evangelizing to that planet of half Romulans and half Klingons was that then in retrospect more hollow than even we thought it was at the time? I mean a warfuss having this crisis of spirituality. Was that just a burlesque all along? I don't know. I mean, I kind of got the sense that like, in talking about it kind of like crystallized in his head as being something that was really meaningful to him.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Yeah. But it also like, you know, like he had his bar mitzvah and he's we've definitely seen him do rituals and shit before. So, you know, it's maybe it's one of those things where it just kind of like constantly self-reaffirms. Like, if I had a more like authentic religious experience to compare this to, I would have something more interesting to say about it. Yeah, Karathas, like, why don't you just give it one more go and maybe like double the dose.
Starting point is 00:22:23 It's twice is sweaty. Yeah. So Worf goes down there and he gives it one more go and sure enough, Kaelis appears. I am Kaelis. Kaelis looks amazing. He's got like a furry jacket. Like, you know those bomber jackets with the fur on the inside? He's just like turned inside out.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Yeah, yeah. And his loaf is the most rugged loaf, I think we've seen. Yeah, this is the loaf to end all loafs. He's got like cauliflower loaf. Like, like how wrestlers get cauliflower ear. It's all craggy and like how wrestlers get cauliflower ear. It's all craggy and asymmetrical and like really deeply crevassed. Yeah, how do they make this mold?
Starting point is 00:23:12 It's almost as if modern klingons have more sleek loaf and old school klingons have the more rugged battered loaf. I don't know if that's canonical or not, but he looks ancient because of it, you know? Yeah. Or if sand's happened in his reverie, like reaches out and touches Gaelis and is like totally blown away to find substance in the in the vision he thinks he's having. Gaelis's whole vibe is really interesting to me. Like he does not present a returning hero vibe that I might have expected from a deity.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Like he's almost as curious as he is powerful. He's sort of a raccontour a little bit in that like he's holding core and he's telling stories and people really enjoy his company but there are a few people with some skepticism in the camp. And one of those ends up being war. For being the first guy who touched him, war fence up being the guy in the back of the room, just sort of judging for a while. I think he can't turn off his starfleet mind here. This is something I really could identify with. Like this is, this guy is making a pretty extraordinary claim of who he is and what he represents.
Starting point is 00:24:26 And while that is exactly what Worf went there looking for, he's like, wait a second. Let's see some proof. Yeah, it's interesting. He got exactly what he wanted, and now he's not happy. The way that, and this will come to be a pattern in this episode. The way that verification is derived for most claims of anything in the Klingon world is sword fight. So KLS goes and gets his sword and like he says some like mythology about how the sword was made and all the priests are like,
Starting point is 00:25:05 whoa, we never told anybody about that. We didn't put that part in the news reports. The idea of this, I thought, was fascinating to me. There's information about this batlet that is only known to like the high priests of Klingon. And the reason that it's kept that way is so if someone claims to be K-list, they can prove or just prove their identity based on that trivia. And I was like, man, it makes me wonder like, if you, if you believe in Jesus, I wonder if, if there's Pope knowledge about like, of the millions of people who claim to be Jesus. Like, if there's a bit of, of knowledge, one of them could say that the claim to be Jesus. Like, if there's a bit of knowledge,
Starting point is 00:25:46 one of them could say that the Pope would be like, holy shit, this is the guy. And the story is fucking great. Like his batlet is made out of volcano hair. He's like, yeah, you know, you guys know how I made this? I cut off a lock of hair, dunked it in volcano lava, cooled it in volcano lava, cooled it in a river,
Starting point is 00:26:07 and then it turned into a sword. What a great legend. Yeah, it's fun when a writer sets a task like that for themselves and totally knocks it out of the park. They're writing mythology here, like on the fly and it's actually working for me. It is a crazy, crazy, one with the free space. Are you rock, find it within yourself?
Starting point is 00:26:26 Just stand up, tell me truth. You don't deserve the wealth that you never bought. Worf is still not totally bought in, so he goes and gets his tricorder. And K-Less is like, yeah, fucking scan me. I don't care. And he scans him and he's like, oh, you're going on like you're
Starting point is 00:26:44 at least part of what you claim to be. And so that kind of precipitates the fight. And Kayla's can really handle himself in a fight. Like this might be the most energetic Klingon combat we've ever seen because they can go to some wide shots. And these guys are really swinging on each other. There's a real difference in fighting style
Starting point is 00:27:03 between them. Warf is very fluid. His use of the batleth is very well practiced. And it seems like Kayless is just like belting home runs with his. Like he's taking big ass swings, which is super fun. Yeah, it has. He's contrasting style's fight.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Totally, yeah. Which is not like necessarily easy to do when you're making up an entire fighting style, you know? Yeah, but but Worf has has a style and And midway through the fight, Kaleus just sort of stops and starts laughing And The appeal that he makes to the people watching this fight is like isn't fighting fun Like isn't it great to be clinglingon? Like we should really be enjoying this.
Starting point is 00:27:49 War, it's fantastic. We could be fighting to the death and maybe we will a little later, but let's just appreciate for a moment how awesome this was. And everyone to sort of like joins together in song. Like really appreciating the idea of being cling on in a way that that seems super enjoyable. Raising their beer stands. It's fun. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:12 It's also like, often you see like the dower angry cling on guy, where like there is some joy to be had in this cling on life, you know. It's real piracy and fun. Yeah, it is piracy. Well, for some reason the clingons are not, on life, you know? It's real piracy and fun. Yeah. Yeah, it is piracy. Well, for some reason the klingons are not interested in doing the uber mission of
Starting point is 00:28:32 getting K-Less back to the home world. So the entrepreneur gets the call. They pick up Worf and K-Less. And I guess like the head rabbi and a couple of the other holy man, right? Yeah, there are some disciples. There's this interesting McLaughlin group where they're like, so, Wharf, is this K-Less or like, what is going on?
Starting point is 00:28:57 They're very reticent to wrap their heads around the idea that this might be who he claims he is and Wharf has been pretty well indoctrinated into this. Yeah, by now, I mean, they go around the table and each of them has their moment of skepticism until they finally arrive at Wurf and Wurf is like, I know everyone at this table is saying that this isn't Kailess, but what my theory presupposes is. He could be the real K-Lis. At some point people are going to start hating that joke, but then we'll keep doing it long
Starting point is 00:29:32 enough that they'll start loving it again. I'm really playing the long game for the comeback around on that one. It's like a dead-air joke that takes 80 episodes to get there. And they meet up with Gauron. Gauron has flown out from the home world to meet up with them. And Gauron explains, like, I called this Uber because I don't want this imposter to be around any other Klingons. I think that it's super dangerous that he's claiming to be the leader of our world when we don't know who he is. And like, hey, look, I'm the chancellor. I have a lot to lose if this guy becomes the head of state. And I want to be extraordinary claims, require
Starting point is 00:30:18 extraordinary proof. So check out this Swiss Army knife I brought. He is far more politically savvy than I gave him credit for, because the case he's making is like, I gotta nip this shit in the bud. He's far more politically savvy than anyone with a David Clark number of medals on their cloak. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, you can't kill an idea and believe me, I've killed a lot of things and people.
Starting point is 00:30:46 And ideas are the hardest. Let me tell you. Yeah. I mean, a cling on kills things every time they eat, right? Every time they chew, they're killing something. Yeah. And so when given the choice of like, the idea of Kayla's coming back to the home world and Galron going out to him, Galron's like, easy choice. I'm going to go out there and try to nip this thing. Gauron really has
Starting point is 00:31:09 like labial hood loaf. Doesn't he? He does that thing that people who have their photograph taken do quite a bit, which is like really reduces the amount of like neck fold. He's like looking down at the camera quite a bit, like looking down at his nose. He's very practiced. Yeah. Well, you know, he's a public figure. He's inside is above. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:42 They, uh, they scan the Swiss Army knife that he's brought. And I guess it's like the knife that, it's a knife that has K-Less's blood on it. So they'll be able to, Yeah, it's a museum knife. They'll be able to tell based on a comparative DNA study, whether this is the guy or not. And so that really scans this into the computer. and a fanciful animation starts at him.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Oh, Mr. D&A, where did you come from? From your blood. It looks to me like you're trying to prove. Is Mr. DNA also clippy? Yeah. Would you like my help formatting your DNA? We'll put some frog DNA into fill in the holes. It looks like you've inserted a knife into the disc drive.
Starting point is 00:32:30 That can cause permanent computer damage. That violates the warranty. Beverly, it's like we always have to sit through this video whenever we do a DNA test. There. That should do it. I'm sorry, I wish there was a way around it. Yeah, the computer does that thing. It lines up the two DNA strands. It flashes a couple times. A big green check mark. The genetic patterns are identical.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Perfect match. So this is like, you know, complicated news for Gavron, right? Like not really what he wanted to hear. Yeah, he test positive for a Calis. We're having a Calis. I don't know if I'm ready to be a Calis. And then like, Wurf is trying to get to know Calis better too. And one of the ways he does this is make some warnaug for them to share. And Calis is like, what is this? And Wurf explains that the replicators don't do a great job with the Warnaug. Yeah, the sugar to flavor packet ratio is a little off.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Yeah, right. You go to some starships and they really cut back on the sugar. Yeah, Kayla's plays this off by saying, like, oh yeah, I've been like a being of pure light for such a long time. I've totally forgot what food and drink tastes like. And this kind of provokes worth to ask him, like, what being a being of pure light is like. And Kayla's just like, doesn't really want to get into it.
Starting point is 00:34:14 He's like, I do not have those answers. It's a real great dodge, like a savvy dodge that a quote unquote psychic would give. Someone asking a question. He's like, yeah, you know, like when I'm in the afterlife, I can experience the afterlife fully, but- Well, I am in this form. I know only about this world. So, sorry.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Yeah, it works like you've forgotten a lot, buddy. Yeah. And, yeah, this is like, yeah, but be that as it may. We're building a future war, and you're gonna be a big part of it. Yeah, he sort of wants to give him a religious field promotion. Yeah. Lieutenant Commander Holyman.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Kaelis tells this story a little later to illustrate the idea of how disbelief doesn't help the disbeliever because the story tells us like, yeah, a guy thought one day that he was stronger than the winds of change. And so he stayed outside of his home during a storm, and that storm ended up killing him. It's a lot like now, and what's gonna happen
Starting point is 00:35:18 to anyone who doesn't believe him, Kaylas. And Gal runs like, cool story, bro. You remember what that guy looked like? Or what city it was? Or what the name of the storm was even K-dolce is like I do not remember. That was a long time ago on Forch Anyway, my point is Don't stay out in the storm because You want to be following me instead of dying out in the wind
Starting point is 00:35:44 Yeah, and this doesn't hold any sort of water to anyone. I think this tips Warfowf too. Warf is like, for a guy who is supposed to be a religious deity, you sure are sure on the details. And Gauron is ready to fight Kailas. He's feeling like real disrespected and not, you know, he like once, he sees this as an imposter who is going to further destabilize what we are being led to believe is an already like fairly precarious balance of power in the, clinging on empire. So he wants to nip this in the bud or batlet this in the chest as it were. And so they like pop their knives out and get fighting.
Starting point is 00:36:31 And it's another pretty epic fight scene. It's really well choreographed, really intense, big action. And they're swinging on each other. And Gauron gets the upper hand. He like knocks, Kayles is knife away, knocks Kayles down on the throne pedestal, and is about to plunge a knife into him and Worf stops him. I really miss this kind of fighting, don't you? Like, why establishing shot?
Starting point is 00:37:05 Punch ins that are no closer than like waist to head. Like, you know exactly what's happening at all times. You can totally keep the action straight in your head. There's no like, copying out by doing 30 cuts. In 10 seconds. In the shape of the space as well established, it's not so far away that every swing is just hysterically implausible. Yeah, I felt like some true fight nostalgia seeing like there wasn't just one fight like this in the episode.
Starting point is 00:37:37 The earlier fight was the same way between Wharf and Kailas. Like nice and wide. Like a lot of movement around the room you just don't get that anymore The Holy Men like spirit the defeated K-Less back to one of the state rooms and they're like warfosam and they're doing like spin zone. They're like, all right, how are we gonna spin this? Like everything is not fucked here, like just because the greatest warrior of all time lost in a pretty like basic Klingon fight,
Starting point is 00:38:15 that doesn't necessarily mean that his claim to being the rightful heir to the throne is wrong. So like, talk to me people, give me some ideas. What are we doing here? What do we do? Okay, okay. We'll fire the investigator.
Starting point is 00:38:30 How about that? That's why you're all the press secrets, Eric. Boo, boo. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Warf is disgusted by this. Yeah, he's fucking kidding me.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Yeah, this is some really shameful shit. You guys are not the rugged ass klingons you claim to be. Tell me what's really going on here or I'm like, I'm gonna go on, meet the press and put you guys on blast. And they're like, all right, here's what's going on. Like, we don't love gauron that much. We feel like the empire is not really what it should be.
Starting point is 00:39:06 And we finally realized that we had enough technology to clone K-Less and implant him with the memories of the original. So this is a fake. And there's a great little close up on K-Less, or he turns to, he's like, What is a clone? Ha ha ha. It's a great moment. It's tragic, too. It's tragic, and yet worth is laughing. Like, he's laughing to stop himself crying, I think. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Intense. K-Less was not taking care of his teeth during the thousands of years that he was in the In the other side, right? There's no orthodontia in the afterlife, Ben Stovacore's dentists are just really bad at what they do. Yeah They do not prescribe to fluoridated water in Stovacore Yeah, it's poisoning our precious bodily fluids, Adam. Yeah. The conclusion that they come to from this damage control is like,
Starting point is 00:40:15 we've got this perfect clone. He had real, careless memories inserted into his brains. Like, he thinks he's careless. A lot of people think he's careless. Like, is there some utility to be had from this figure? Like, is there anything he could do or do we just need to put him in the incinerator?
Starting point is 00:40:34 Yeah, and Worf, like, one's it like having a pretty intense conversation with data about this. And data's been kind of curious about Worph's stance on this whole thing from a standpoint of like, I find your faith in this man really interesting because I require proof about everything I believe as an Android.
Starting point is 00:40:59 And data comes to see Worph in this moment and Worph is like basically in the pits. He's at the lowest point because he's like realized that the guy he thought was like basically the Messiah is in fact a clone made by a bunch of nerd klingons. And a data is like, well, hey man, like maybe what you need to do is just choose to believe
Starting point is 00:41:23 that he is the Messiah. Like, that's how I became more than merely a machine. So I chose to believe that I could become more than the programming that I was booted up with. And that's really inspiring to Wurf, which I really like. I like when data and Wurf can like get down on like being, having some, having some commonalities on this crew. This, this show occasionally uses data for exposition
Starting point is 00:41:54 in ways that are like, there's nothing in articulate about what he's doing. It is just a little bit ham fisted though, you know? Like because Worf is so inarticulate about his feelings, because his conflicts are so quiet and filled with solitude, like he needs a foil to help him feel what he's truly feeling. Yeah. And that person in this case is data.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's hard to have this conversation without another person in the room, I think. Yeah, yeah. And it's interesting, it's hard to have this conversation without another person in the room, I think. Yeah, yeah. And it's interesting that it's data, you know, like a more interesting character than maybe Piccardo Riker would have been in the scene. I guess I just don't see the parallel between data's leap of faith being his feelings of humanity and warps leap of faith when it comes to a religious figure being alive or not. And what the implications of that are. They seem too disparate for me.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Maybe we should write a little letter to the writers and see if we can get them to revise this episode a bit. It's not too late, Ben. Dear Sir or Madam, I am a fan of your program Star Trek the next generation season 6. I've noticed some things I would like to change about this program, however. You're sounding a lot like a few of the letters that we've gotten recently about shows already in the can. Dear Ben and Adam, here is a list of the letters that we've gotten recently about shows already in the can. Yeah. Do you have an atom? Here is a list of things you got wrong.
Starting point is 00:43:30 I don't want to become what I hate the most. You don't want to become what you have set out to destroy. Yeah. I withdraw all my criticism. Yeah, this is just a praise show now. I am a beautiful, there are all lights. So the big like climactic scene in this Klingon episode is not a battle, it's not a fight, it is a Klingon McLaughlin group.
Starting point is 00:43:59 If you want. They get Gauron and Worf and the Rabbis and K-Less together. And Wharf kind of talks them into this idea of like, let's not make K-Less king of everything forever, you know, like to make him Kim Jong-un. Let's make him like a figurehead, you know, like let's make him the emperor. And he can be like a figure that inspires Klingons, whereas Gauron will still be the prime minister. He'll run the show. KLS will just go like, you know, cut ribbons and kiss babies and shit.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Yeah, it sounds like a pretty good deal for Kaelis. Yeah, Kaelis is like, all right, so I just get to be rich and I don't have to do anything. My question is, what happens when Kaelis dies? Like, he's already, he already looks like a 50 year old man, you know? Yeah. Like, in the short term, it feels like they have a good plan, but in the longer term, I'm not so sure. I also just wonder about the like, his, his, his war frilly, the guy who has his, his faith shattered and about the like, his war for really the guy who has his faith shattered and then goes like, but I do want everybody else
Starting point is 00:45:09 to believe the lie that I know not to be true. I found that strange, strangely not in keeping with his character as well. Especially with what he's being through. Especially with what he's being through. Yeah, his faith has been directly challenged and now he's super willing to roll out a faith challenger on a much broader scale.
Starting point is 00:45:29 And also, he had to live a lie for years when he was discomended because theoretically, his father was a trader. He's kind of like subjecting all cllingons to the thing. Maybe it's like revenge in a weird way. Maybe it's omerta. Maybe he doesn't even know what he's doing. Warfan autopilot. He's still super high from that first scene in the episode. Yeah, like he would not pass a drug test at this point. That's for sure. It's a good thing he's not looking for a new job.
Starting point is 00:46:05 At the end of the day, I feel like this is something you do with utter certainty. And he sees Kayla soft. Like they go down to the transporter room. And he is saying adios to Kayla. And Kayla says, like, you should be really proud of what you've done here today. And Warf is like, he basically says,
Starting point is 00:46:25 like, I'm not so sure. My heart is empty again. An appropriate amount of conflict in him, which is good. Yeah. Did you like the episode Adam? I'm fairly sure I liked the episode. I liked K-Lis is what I liked. There were so many good parts of it.
Starting point is 00:46:45 The world building here was super strong. Yeah. The building of the mythology was interesting and specific. Like, they really could have glossed over the mythology, but instead they chose to give us real fun details to Kaelis and his legend. I thought that was great. But I think you have to conclude a story like this stronger because the consequences are massive.
Starting point is 00:47:10 And none of the people in that Klingon McLaughlin group really seem to grasp what those may or may not be. They're like, well, let's just make them emperor and see what happens. Yeah, I mean, the good thing about the Klingon Empire from the writer's perspective on this show is like you can utterly change it like from season to season like you can you can have episodes that have like the most broad-ranging possible implications for what's going on in the Klingon Empire and then the next episode like it's not
Starting point is 00:47:40 Consequential at all. Yeah, there's nothing stopping Gauron from alien-queening Kayla's on the way back to the clay on home world, you know? Like, does Kayla's make it home on this trip? I really don't know. I don't think we can rule it out. Yeah, we're for rights and a letter, like a couple of weeks later, hey man, just wanted to see how you're settling in over there.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Hope you like Kronos. If you ever need a recommendation for restaurants or whatever, my buddy Captain Picard has spent a lot of time in some of the ethnic neighborhoods and probably gives you some cool recommendations. Yeah, and just like no response. Yeah. It's gonna be disappointing. Yeah. Did you like the episode? I did.
Starting point is 00:48:31 I think that your criticisms are all well taken, but I had fun watching it, I guess. Great, low. Good, low. All star low. Speaking of messages that actually do get through to their intended recipients, then do we have any priority one messages? We do have priority one messages at them and I think we should read them in the next segment.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement on that? supplement on that? supplement. supplement. Yes? supplement supplement Yeah, it's extra. How do you interest alone? Could be enough to buy this ship!
Starting point is 00:49:09 Ben, our first priority one message is from your wife! And it is for my dearest Wesley, the boy, my husband! Couple of parent articles there. That means you need to multiply them, right? Multiply the boy by my husband. A message goes like this. Happy birthday. And happy graduation to my number one. With degree in hand, you've proven yourself far better than your namesake at completing your education without killing anyone.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Now let's get as drunk as Shimoda and then retire to quarters for some Darmak and Jalad at Tanagra. If you know what I mean. Whoa. I love you and I'm so proud of you. I am amazed that it took your wife to realize the erotic potential of Darmak and Jalad at Tanagra. Yeah. Why did we never come up with that? All we do is fucking boner jokes and shit. Wesley, what I'm trying to say is I'm really jealous of your wife.
Starting point is 00:50:17 And congratulations also. Ben, his arms wide. Shaka, when the walls fell, Adam. Yeah. You know what, you wantaka when the walls fell Adam. Yeah. You know what, you want to keep those walls up in. That's how you prevent pregnancy. Jeez. Adam, we have a second message here.
Starting point is 00:50:35 It's from Mike and it's to Graham. It goes like this. Congratulations on your upcoming trill bonding. I'll always be available to hop in the Delta Flyer or, if unavailable, a Previa to go retrieve onions, blooming, hot and other Australian delicacies which will both proceed to eat with the vigor of which Riker consumes GAH! Here's to the finest crew at 740. Engage!
Starting point is 00:51:08 I have really miss seeing Riker eating stuff. Yeah. I just felt very nostalgic thinking of that. I can really picture him lowering some Bloomin onion pieces into his mouth, though. It's really the only way to keep all the grease off of your beard, right? I haven't had a Bloomin onion in a long time. Sounds good. It sounds good. It's good eats.
Starting point is 00:51:26 The trouble with a blue man onion is you have to go to an outback steakhouse to get one. That is a major barrier for me. I went to one outback steakhouse. I was like probably like 11 at the time. It took so much lobbying to get my parent to consent to ordering a blue man onion. I was like, this is the only thing I care about getting here! It's my birthday. I don't want a cake. I want this blue mananian!
Starting point is 00:51:55 Hey Ben, can you promise me one of the dates that were out on this tour coming up in August? Can we at some point get a blue mananian? And? That'd be fun, right? Yeah. Let's do it. I'll have been to the outback in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and the one in Milwaukee, I guess. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man.
Starting point is 00:52:19 I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm just guessing to be a man. I'm, thanks to your wife and Mike for sending those prior to one message. If you would like to send a priority one message of your own, you can go to maximumfund.org slash jombo-tron where personal messages are $100 and commercial messages are $200.
Starting point is 00:52:39 They are one of the great ways to keep this show in production. Thanks guys. Hey Ben. What's that at him? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? I did. I had originally written down a diagetic Shimoda, but I was clicking around in the IMDB of this episode and I have to give a special non-diagetic show mode of this week for one of the Klingon pilgrims in this episode is played by an actress named D Griffin Scott and her IMDB bio just cracked me up
Starting point is 00:53:19 I'm gonna read like the first two sentences to give you a little taste it read like the first two sentences to give you a little taste. It gets a special citation in IMDB bio that is written in the third person and yet clearly written by the person it is about. D has a unique perspective and 20 years of experience. She was a stand-in for the most beautiful and talented stars of the 70s, 80s and 90s. Is well respected and talented herself, but she was not a threat because she wasn't interested in upstaging other actors and does have star quality and presence. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:01 It basically goes on like that. That is sort of like a poorly written resume cover letter. Yeah, it's kind of like if Trump wrote his own IMDB bio. Expert proficiency and Microsoft Office applications. It looks like you're trying to write an IMDb bio. Wow, like I would never want to besmirch the noble profession of stand-ins, but on the other hand, Ben, like what is the difference between a good stand-in and a great stand-in? I really don't know. I think I'd like to find out though. Not wanting to upstage the most beautiful and talented people, that's for sure.
Starting point is 00:54:51 That's a big, big part. Adam, did you have a drunk Samota? Yeah, I mean, I always fall for the old Ensens. And seeing this guy on camera in the background was like, not only is he a 55 year old Ensign man, but like he doesn't know how to act naturally, which is the best part. Like the last time we ran into a super old Ensign, she was an engineering and she had like lines
Starting point is 00:55:18 and she was great. Like I could see a world for her. But this guy, this guy is like total front zip, middle-aged, ensign guy, and people are talking about him, and he does not know how to react to people talking about him. I feel like his direction was like, look like you're being kept at work for longer than you think you should be. And he cannot engage that part of his mind.
Starting point is 00:55:46 Like he, he tries to go method and there's just nothing to access there. I feel like he might be like actually the captain of another Starfleet vessel and he was fucking with him and is like, what if you were on third shift security on the enterprise and you were only an ensign? He's been tapestryed? Like, that's the guy.
Starting point is 00:56:09 You just been tapestry. Like he chose to stay and so they can stab. Turns out a midnight owl. Yeah, I could get used to this. Dormoc and Jalad, and Denarga. A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all.
Starting point is 00:56:37 FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre- and post-show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it. The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info.
Starting point is 00:57:00 That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the share your embarrassment tour. I'm Jordan Morris and I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds. Pat Noswald.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Non-Giani. having the spaceweards. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with Cat Toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get Stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are already open, just pull it out, give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Whoa, Ross, hey, hey, I'm about to count you in line.
Starting point is 00:57:46 These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I, these giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this all. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah?
Starting point is 00:58:03 Yeah, I know we look like humans. we're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two. What do you think? Oa Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. returning to the site of an eight year old mission. Riker encounters an identical double of himself who tries to rekindle a relationship with Troy. Do you remember this episode, Adam?
Starting point is 00:58:54 This is one of the great episodes, right? Is it not? I think so. I feel like it is. Oh, yeah. You're not wrong. This has got to be one of the great episode pitches, too. Like single- line pitch. What if there were two rikers? Yeah, sold in the room. I mean, it's sold in the room, but yet,
Starting point is 00:59:12 there is such a long list of Star Trek episodes that have a great single line premise, and then they like forget to do all of the fun things that there would be to do with a premise like that. So it'll be interesting to see if they like actually rise to the challenge of this single line premise or not. Yeah, I feel like the the showrunner needs to scold the writer at this point, be like, you must fulfill this single line premise's promise. Like make sure you see this thing through. I'm excited to
Starting point is 00:59:43 watch this episode again. Me too. I remember it being seen through. Yeah, I vaguely like it. Well, should we adjourn for the day and return sometime soon with that episode? Yeah, I think that sounds great. One way that our viewers see this very podcast through is through the many ways that they can support the show and you can go to MaximumFund.org slash donate to support the show and also gain access to our special Crimson Tide episode. Yeah, and our special Star Trek Generations episode.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Yeah, got a couple of extras there for people that support the show. We got merch online too. Tickets still on sale I believe at this point for a number of our tour dates so make sure you check those out and talk that is slash tour. Yeah, is that correct? Got that Bizz. Flash tour doesn't go to anything. Oh yeah. As far as I know. But that would have been a great one. I know I could set that up by the time this goes out. All right Well, what we're doing is we're just like forgiving all the mistakes I make on Mike like it's a new website every time
Starting point is 01:00:58 But you have to then create redirects for yep, that's how it works That's what it dude. Well, we should thank Dark Materia for our theme music and Adam Regusia for a lot of the other music you hear on the program. And check in with us online. We're all over social media. It's a real fun hang. And with that, we'll be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek the Next Generation.
Starting point is 01:01:24 In an episode of the greatest generation generation where Adam and I have slightly different facial hair than you're used to. In my case it would be having any at all. I got you, you know the car of the U.S. It's a bad guy, you got you, you know the car of the U.S. It's a bad guy, you make it sound, make it sound. You know the car of cars, car of cars, car of cars. That is, you know, the person who's into that isn't just some really weird ASMR, right? Some toy-based ASMR. Maximumfund.org
Starting point is 01:02:15 Comedy and culture, artist-owned. Listener supported. Maximumfund.org. How many in culture? Artists owned. Listen or support it.

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