The Greatest Generation - Knuck Spanx (DS9 S2E11)

Episode Date: May 7, 2018

When the probability on DS9 gets out of whack, a new gambling hall across from Quark’s Bar may be to blame. But when O’Brien and Keiko start getting along, THAT’s the point when the crew becomes suspicious. How many liters of Odo are there? Does O'Brien prefer to play with himself? Where’s the knuck? It’s the episode that’s a real weird bit of business.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! The god of the universe, the death of the world. Command to Benjamin, since the Federation's not facing. Deep Space Nine. Welcome to the greatest generation, Deep Space Nine.

It's a Star Trek podcast. By two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. No, it's not! Rantika. Huh? No, it's not. What did I do wrong?

I'm just, I'm getting into the swing of things because we have to disagree on this episode. Well, I think one thing that we can agree on, hopefully, is the name of our own show. Yeah, that's fair. I'm Ben Harrison. No, you're not. So this is a very special episode.

Yeah, greatest generation. We landed on the measure of a man square and the rules of the measure of a man square are that we flip a coin before we do the pod and then whatever side of the coin we land on, we take separate sides of the argument, is this a good episode? And so we argue that that side throughout the review. Right, and this is based on the time that Commander Reiker had to argue vehemently against data's autonomy as a citizen of the Federation, right? Pinocchio is broken, its strings have been cut.

I'm hoping that by the end of this episode, like Riker and Data, you and I will remain friends. And maybe have even engendered a greater respect for each other. And I doubt it. In taking on this role, we both injure ourselves. In having any respect for you, Ben, I feel like it would be an improvement.

Oh, bud! Do, uh, the rules of this episode merit any further discussion? Or do you think we can just decide what heads is and what tails is, flip the coin and, uh, and shove off? Yeah, I feel bad that we don't have our new... Our new challenge coin yet, because on our 2018 greatest Gen Contour, we are gonna be doing, we have a new challenge coin in the works, and it actually has a face on one side. I'll let people, I'll let people wonder

about what face that might be. I have seen like a digital mockup of this thing, and it is the greatest thing. I've actually looked at this coin while wearing a VR headset. I've been inside this coin. Oh yeah. And it's spectacular inside an out-bin. I am more excited about the merch on this tour than I am about most things in life.

Like the poster, the coin, some of the other things that we have skimmed up, I am really, really excited about. I think it would be so much easier if we did the tour and didn't even do a show for it. Just like went to a place, opened up a couple of suitcases and sold merch. Yeah, I just hang out with everybody, sell the merch. Don't entertain them.

No need for a lengthy audio and video check for the show starts. Also known as the scariest two hours of my life in any given day. Yeah, the, like, we have such a simple show. It's just you and me sitting at a table, drinking a beer and talking about Star Trek. And yet, the sound check is always like, really a 10 out of 10 on the stress, on the stressometer. It's why I'm excited to be bringing out Rob's, Rob's, Rob's on tour.

He's gonna make everything better, right? That's the idea. Soundproof headphones on me and like a blindfold and then stick me backstage. So I will experience none of that pre-show stress. Fuck that. You and I are going to be out eating chicken wings while Rob does the whole thing. Pre-show chicken wings, really the best part of touring. Yeah. We ran the risk when we did our show in Philly last year of doing pre-show oysters, which really could have backfired badly for the people of Philadelphia.

I love that I think we were on show 8 of the 11 or something, and I don't know what filled us with oyster confidence, but we sure had it there. We're brimming with the kind of confidence that we should never have. Especially because like for half the tour, the first half of the tour, I was so paranoid about my digestive system that I was basically eating only Palenta and RX bars for like six days straight. And by the time we got to Philadelphia, I was like, sure, I'll slam a dozen oysters with you, let's do it. Yeah, and they were served in the Philadelphia style

with a bunch of squeezed cheese on a hoagie, right? Yeah, they threw them at us like so many batteries. So I am fingering my dustbuster club coin still available on the Max Fun store, by the way. Yeah, if you're a completionist or you just want last year's model, it can be had. And as with all challenge coins that we sell, we are donating a portion of sales to charity, the National Center for Science Education. I'm gonna say heads is the crossed phaser side and that will indicate the, I like this episode position

and I will defend that argument. Well, wait, how does this work then? So heads pick is pro tails is con, you're gonna flip it once and it determines which side I'm on. Yes. Okay. I don't believe there's any right or wrong side of this argument to be on. I think that you have a way. Do you have a side that you would like to be on? Are you willing to reveal what your what your true feelings are here ahead of the game or what you think would be the most fun to you know

what I to get. I think that would be a fun thing to disclose right now. I liked the episode. Ha ha ha ha. Did you? I did too, but I think that I would have more fun being Khan. Okay. All right. I am now going to flip the coin to tell you

what you, what side you will be arguing. Okay, so it's heads pro tails con. Yes, I didn't say what tails was tails is the backside of this coin. It just says the greatest generation. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna flip. And I'm doing that thing where where my hand is over my other hand. I'm about to reveal what side is up and Tails is the side that's up, Ben. Oh, man. So I got what I want, which is not really the point of the game, but you will be arguing to the negative on this episode. Well, I also just want to set some expectations here. I watched this episode a few days ago at my parents house

and I wrote notes, which I think I left at my parents house. So I'm gonna be doing this from memory and also from having just reread the description on memory alpha. I think maybe one of the deepest forms of shame would be to as what are you like a mid 30s person? Yeah. To call your mom.

And ask her to, I don't know, like take an iPhone picture of your notes about a Star Trek episode for your Star Trek podcast. This is the thing in those two. Like I definitely am packing up at my parents house. I was visiting for my dad's 75th birthday, and I was packing up my stuff and I said, oh, I definitely have to pack those notes because like, B, I need them, but A,

I definitely don't want my parents to find this piece of paper and read it. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I am, I am and was surprised to know that you are still pen and papering your notes for the show. I switched to the notes app after I think the sixth season of TNG. I still have my molasquinas full of show notes, but I switched to electronics so that I would never leave them anywhere and they were in the clared. Yeah, I don't feel like I remember things as well if I type them down. That's when I write them down. I don't know why that is. I always...

I tried to do laptop, note-taking, and college briefly and It didn't it didn't go well for me Well, Ben, I think one thing is for sure and that is there is no right or wrong way to do this show There is only the wrong way And so in saying that I will pivot over to show actual in which we talk about and argue about season

2 episode 11 of Deep Space 9. Rivals. And it's introduction of an L-. Arian which is which is the Geinen race the race of listeners the sting race from Star Trek generations Yeah, Ben he's played by Chris Sarandon You know Chris Sarandon is don't you? I was trying to think if he's been in another Star Trek thing Humper dink from Princess bride you promised me that you would never say that name! It is really the brightest star in my memory of him as an actor.

Is he related to Susan Sarantin, noted Bernie, bro? Uh, it is you that he met his first wife. So she- she kept his last name? They married in 67 and divorced in 79. Damn! Yeah, he's 75 right now. I keep forgetting the show that we're reviewing is very, very old-bend.

Ha-ha-ha-ha. This introduces a problem in this episode, a problem that will persist throughout this episode, which is that this guy is a listener. I offer a sympathetic ear. And the main other L-O-R-E-N-W-E-N-O is Gynon, also a listener, and also a bartender. The bartender on this show has giant ears, and yet never a mention is made of the Ferenci's being potentially also good at listening.

I think we have a long, long runway of building Ferengy, alien character development on DS9. I think it could be that that is the truth. We just don't know that at this point in time, Ben. I'm just saying like, like, there's at least a quip to be had. And you have to consider that a failure in the script that they didn't work anything like that in. I just think it's cool that we see another L-Orient, and I had read in the production notes that a guy in herself was actually supposed to appear in this episode. No shit! But was unavailable, could you imagine?

Damn. I think one of the great regrets, and I don't think that this should be construed as a negative feeling about this episode but more of an overarching thing about Star Trek in general is that there was not enough Wuppie Goldberg slash Guyden throughout. Well, Wuppie, Star Trek is only so big and Wuppie is much bigger and they, you know, they were really at her mercy. So. This guy, uh, Mardis Mizzour, he has hair magazine hair. He really does. He's a total hair cut. Like when you, when you go get your hair cut at a certain type of place, there is the, the magazine full of haircuts. Yeah. You could only ever find this magazine at a barber shop. They don't sell these at a grocery store or a magazine stand.

Like it's a specialty magazine and this guy's in it. This guy's in it. He's also a pencil on paper drawing in the window of the barber shop. Yeah. Yeah, he is a little bit like when you go by a dry cleaner or a tailor or something that take on me Stickers that they put on right he is that guy for sure

He's that guy and he's talking to this lady. She's she's really Spilling her guts about her retirement plan and how you know she's got a line on some Asteroids that are just loaded with valuable minerals and that she's going to put all of her retirement money into buying up a mining concession. You know, widow talk. It's what wids talk about when they gather. Wid being what they call each other for short. Yeah, what's up, Widd?

That's what they say at the meetings. This has all the feeling of like a cold call that an elderly relative gets from a stranger. Like all the, all Mardus Mizzouar is doing is there listening to this lady spill her guts. I feel like I can really trust you. It's like I've known you forever. I feel like I could buy a reverse mortgage from you anytime. Yeah. Odo has been creeping. Oh, my God.

He's creeping in the background and he notices this conversation happen. And he straight up goes up to Martis Mazzur and grabs him and takes him to the break. Yeah, it is hand on shoulder, like, quiet ma'am. This man does not have your best interest in heart. Odo has fingered him as a swindler. They have a history.

Right, and so, Mizzur gets kind of perp walked. It must be so embarrassing to get arrested on Deep Space 9 because you just have to walk through the station with Odo with his hand on your shoulder. It would be great if Odo turned himself into a squad car. And like, and an arm came out of that car and then put him inside of himself. Yeah, I mean, we know that Odo can get very small. And so presumably he can get very big. Could Odo get to be the size of a car with Odo driving it? We don't know that now, and I really hope that we find out eventually.

Someone wrote me on Twitter and said that I think Odo is hollow. Whoa! And that idea interested me greatly, and it sort of lends credence to the idea of him able to get much bigger and much smaller. If the volume of his liquid is very thin. Yeah. And he's an Easter bunny, like a chocolate Easter bunny.

I don't, have we seen him in the bucket yet? Because I feel like that would be what what his actual volume is right whatever you know whatever water level He is is is is Odo like a leader? How many leaders of Odo are there I? Want to know all this so far deep space nine seems unwilling or unable to give us this level of detail about Odo. But I think that's great. See, if next time we do Bible study, we'll see if we can find anything about how many leaders of Odo.

Right. We cut to, after the break to what the A story of this episode is, which is the rivalry, the return to the rivalry between O'Brien and Bashir, this time in the form of some rackets ball. But before we get to the rackets ball court, we get O'Brien excitedly preparing. I am Chief Miles Edward O'Brien. This is fucking spectacular. And walking to this rackets ball court that he has made with his own bare hands. Adam, this shit is so corny. Like, the shot of Miles Edward O'Brien

walking down the hallway, doing a bad job of little tennis serves to himself. Don't you just turn the episode off at this point, Adam? I like O'Brien so much. I just like it when he's happy. Like he's had very little to be happy about in two and a half seasons. So knowing how pumped he is, and also I also like the depiction of a hobby. What are the hobbies that we've seen in Star Trek up until now? There's Jordy's model shipbuilding, there's

data's uh mystery solving. Riker fucking. Yeah. When O'Brien finally gets to his homemade racquetball court, he finds inside Dr. Bashir. Hello Dr. yeah what a disappointment. Somebody else also wants to play this competitive sport, Miles. Was O'Brien excited to go play with himself? He's walking down the hallway and the camera doesn't, doesn't dwell on it, but you do see that there's a hand-painted sign that says O'Brien's Jack Shack. The door's a wish open and it's, it's like the Jack Shack from Billy Madison sounds coming out of it. What was he going to do with that racket?

The same thing that you do with the baton from the fuckbook high program. O'Brien's sad to see Bishir and he gets even sadder when Bichier lists off his myriad racquetball accomplishments to him. Yeah, I thought it was weird that he rattled off half German, half Native American. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe tell us the viewer that Bashir is very, very good. And O'Brien is just more of a tomato can in the in the boxing parlance. Yeah, and they also have kind of different different approaches to the game. Like Bashir has like all kinds of cotta that he does to get warmed up. But O'Brien is like, yeah, I like I enjoy

playing. I've never taken a lesson in my life. He has the same amount of skill that Ferris Bueller has on the clarinet. It's, it's a meyory battle dance like, and only it does not intimidate O'Brien at all as much as it sort of annoys him further. Right, and yeah, it turns out that Bouchir is not all bluster.

It's like he's fucking dominant. He's way better than O'Brien. So this is the other thing. It's like one of the most well-known averages about tennis is you get better by playing against somebody that's better than you. But O'Brien just but hurt that he has to play against anybody at all.

What? O'Brien's the sort of tennis player that likes to play against anybody at all. What? Oh, Brian's the sort of tennis player that likes to play against the serving machine. It is very satisfying to just stay in there and hammer back serves from the machine, I guess. So while O'Brien is getting creamed, we cut back to Mazur and he's in his cell and he has a cell mate that is in desperate need of a CPAT machine.

Yeah, he's got the my father-in-law of cellmates. And you know, in my father-in-law's case, the form this takes is he doesn't have any sense of how loud the television is. So if you sleep there, you know, even if you're down the hall with the door closed, the television is just so insanely loud that you can't sleep. This guy's case, it is the loud snoring. And it's the kind of snoring that is a rhythmic and does sound a little bit like an apnea situation.

Yeah, it's troubling, but it's more annoying than troubling to Mizzur, who is forced to wake him up. Pardon me, friend. This guy has, for some reason, has been allowed to go into the jail cell with a device. Yeah. A device of unknown origin. Device of unknown purpose and origin.

Which like, man, I got locked up on totally meaningless pre-tenses the time I got locked up. Like, the case was thrown out, it was so meaningless, but it was like, take the belt, take the shoelaces. Not just because of what I might do with it, but because of what somebody else might do with it, you know? Like I sat around in that cell for six hours with no belt and no shoelaces.

Did they take your glasses? No, got to keep the glasses. Oh, that's interesting. Why wouldn't they take your glasses? I don't know, very foolish because those glasses concealed tiny knives. Well, yeah, I mean, you take the arms off of those glasses, those are stabbing tools. Yeah, I think that you'd probably take enough time to work that into a shank

that you're probably processed to central booking by the time you'd be ready for it and they'd have caught you. Was that ever expunged or is that on your record as a thing? It is not on my record. And I know this because my wife briefly had a job where she could where she was like routinely searching people's criminal records and stuff. And she did, she like worked up a file on me, and I came out squeaky clean. It was great. This is when you first started dating.

She wanted to do a due diligence. Yeah, I was kind of curious to get my mug shot because I thought that would be a fun thing to have, but that has been expunged as well. Like there's no mug shot. Ah. Yeah. That would have been great I should I had I think I had like a six-month window to go get it and I I blew it It was out in Queens. I wasn't I didn't you know just go to Queens for no reason

Now now you definitely need a specific reason for Queens. Yeah No, you definitely need a specific reason for Queens. Yeah. Go to Kotlin. Go to Kotlin. So. This guy shares what is known in the gambling parlance as a bad beat story of his life. He starts talking about gambling with this thing.

Starts telling Mizzur that his luck has been terrible for a long, long time. He can't seem to win at this game on the device that he's playing. And then he plays it one last time, wins, and then croaks. I want. That's nice. What is the winning here? I mean, this seems like playing a slot machine game on your phone.

It's like, who cares? There's no upside. It felt to me very much like the game from the game. Yeah, it's a Star Trek game that we just have to take their word for it, that it's fun and diverting. It seems like he got a little mini-o when he won. So it looked like there was at least a little bit of like an adorfen hit when he won the thing. I mean, Riker definitely came the first time

he played the game. What's it called suck disc? Yeah, I don't think it takes much to make Riker come to B.H. Yeah, this episode starts on dubious pretenses and just keeps taking bad turns, you know? But the thing is, this is not a departure from how Star Trek or Deep Space 9 has worked up until now. This is not a show that explains

how devices like this work. But it could have been. But it could have been. It could have been. It's usefulness to the story and it. It exploits my have been as a viewer to get its usefulness to the story and it exploits my good will as a viewer By showing me a bullshit game that does not look fun Ben you know, uh, you know what reads is very exploitative What's that at him is the cut to shirtless O'Brien in the next scene post-raccap all match

Just sweaty as hell sweaty angry O'Brien in the next scene. Post-racipal match. Just sweaty as hell, sweaty angry O'Brien. My dad could have wiped the cord with him. A depiction of O'Brien that I wish existed in action figure form, because I would buy the shit out of that. I would make an O'Brien bubble out of the collectibility of those figures. I heard that Yagers are selling at 50 bucks on an eBay. So the Yeager bubble has dissipated somewhat, but it is not over. No, not at all. It still exists.

And I still have a stack of, I want to say, most of the world supply of Yeagers. Most of the world supply of Yeagers belong to me. Most of them purchased for less than $5. Another weird choice in this episode, Keko being nice and supportive to her husband and also them not arguing in the scene. What? Since when? This is a great Keko episode.

And that is not the coin talking. Like, I really think she's great in this episode. She is a loving supporting partner to O'Brien. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Well, this is the coin-talking at him, and I just want to say, you can't just change everything about a character dynamic without some work. This is lazy writing.

This is not the only scene we'll get between O'Brien and Kiko. I think there's a fair amount of development of their relationship throughout this episode, so we'll return to this a little later. Yeah, it's like, it's like Francis Hyde, you know, you watch an entire movie of this girl fucking around and being unsure of how to proceed with her life and then just cut to the end and she's like gotten her shit together and it's like, wait a second, you just cut to her having her shit together?

What about like the climax of the movie part? You went right from middle of the movie to Daymeer. I just want to address the viewer right now. This is my camera. I just want to look, I just want to address the viewer right now. This is my camera. I just want to look, I just want to look the viewer right in the eye and say like this is the only Star Trek podcast that would draw an equivalence between an episode of Deep Space Nine and Francis Ha. You are such a fucking dork, Ben. That's my favorite of Gerwig's work, but you know, I think she's great.

It's a lesser Gerwig. It's minor Gerwig, decidedly. Back in Quark's bar, I guess. Also wait a second though. I have another thing I want to complain about with Gerwig. In that, in Lady Bird. You have the flip bit you you with your hand up. Yeah, yeah, you have the floor. Is this my camera? Lady bird said it in 2002.

She's a senior in high school, which is when I was a senior in high school. And she gets into NYU off the wait list, a thing I did. And then it's attributed to because 9 11 made people not want to go to NYU off the wait list, a thing I did. And then it's attributed to because 9-11 made people not wanna go to NYU. So, it's like, I've watched an entire movie that's touched me deeply on an emotional level about a young person in Northern California that wants to go live in New York

and live the life of an artist, despite the financial hardship it will put on her family. And then it just fucking kicks me in the nuts with, ah, you probably didn't get in on merit. It was probably because they couldn't fill enough seats. Fuck you, Greta, Gerwig! I think everyone could have guessed you didn't make it into that school on merit.

Fuck you, Adam! What are you on, Gerwig, son, the coin says I'm pro Gerwig. Yeah, so this episode does this cutesy little thing where it intercuts between Keko and Miles and Dax and Bashir and you know, O'Brien is telling Keko about how he got creamed and he sucks and he hates how much better Bashir is and Bashir is telling Dax like Oh my god and he sucks and he hates how much better Bashir is and Bashir is telling Dax, like, oh my God, O'Brien is such a prideful idiot. Like, he would not let this game drop despite the fact that I was crushing his shit.

I admired Bashir for his reticence to keep beating up on someone that he's trying to befriend. He, like, the way he puts it to Dax, he's like, I just don't wanna humiliate him. I can't just throw the game. And yet, O'Brien won't leave me alone about it. So like, what is he supposed to do? And what's worse is that, like, O'Brien is someone

that Bashir wants to be friends with. And he wants to be friends with him so bad. And it's just a through-line to his entire character. Like, he wants to love DAX and he wants Dax to love him. He wants to be friends with O'Brien and O'Brien can't stand him. Who is friends with Bashir at this point? He's sort of a lonely man and I'm starting to feel sorry for him. The issue with Bashir is that he doesn't know how to relate to people. You know, he throws his next game with O'Brien, which O'Brien is as insulted by as he should be.

But I want to talk about this scene. One of the weirdest things about this scene, which was very distracting for me, is that Bashir is eating like a filet-o-fish sandwich and keeps looking for sauce to put on it. None of the sauce at the rep limit is full. Yeah. It's such a weird bit of business. We've never seen an identifiable kind of food on this show. It's always a bunch of tentacles coming out of a flower pot or something.

He's just eating a fried fish sandwich, right? I really love the idea that in a perfect future, there's still such a thing as a beige plate. That's what, that's a bishier's eating. Like, I love it. Remind me what a beige plate is. It's a thing that we call the appetizer platter, which is frequently just all the fried appetizers

that a restaurant offers, all on one big plate Yeah, and we ordered it one time from a from a bar near a music venue and Like we had never seen anything more beige like they didn't even do that thing where there's like a leaf of lettuce where the sauce cup Rest on top of like it was just beige on a white plate It was striking rest on top of like it was just beige on a white plate. It was striking. Yeah. Well, uh, but here the, uh, the medical practitioner on the show goes for the notoriously unhealthy beige plate. He, uh, lipitor hyposporase himself right after. He also like did the, the thing of like getting out of a Tinder date by having a friend call and say it's an emergency and you have to go.

Yeah, I mean, that's an excuse that plays in the far future. There's a moment a couple scenes ago where Mizur attempted to set up a new album. Back to my bed, stay to cool. I don't use the bucket anymore. There's a moment a couple scenes ago where, uh, where Mizzur attempted to sell the gambling device to Quark, and Quark doesn't want it. You're wrong again. You're wrong again. He's still in the cell. He gets released. At this point. Are we are we also arguing about order of the show? Ben, if you're up for it, uh, I would love to because I'm totally right right now. Please continue.

Turns out the people that lodged the initial complaint against Missour have declined to press charges so he just gets sprung, which is weird, right? Like he's arrested and charged, but then just released suddenly. Was he in jail for a week? Was it like a couple right? Like he's arrested and charged, but then just released suddenly. Was he in jail for a week? Was it like a couple hours? And then he's just out. The spans of time are totally impossible to wrap your head around. I have the same questions, especially because there is the eventual construction of an entire

casino that happens at some point during this app. Well, as Captain Philip Louveau would have said in the episode measure of a man, you're required to defend your client. And if I get a sense that you're not defending your client with all of the tools available to you, I'll end this trial right now. I'd like to see you try.

You're complaining about how quickly Mizzur was released from prison. Do you think other people had such complaints about how soon you were released after being brought in there? I know I do. You know, the one person that didn't get released, you know, we all got sprung, we were shooting a music video. The one person that did not get released was the rapper,

because he had some warrants for unpaid parking tickets. So we had to go spend the night in central booking and then come back the next morning and finish his music video. That's some cold shit right there. Yeah, it was like, man, we're dealing with a hardened criminal, a guy who missed a payment on a parking ticket. We're pretty late in our podcast step, so maybe we can move ahead to the to the part where, uh, Mizzore has opened a casino.

Yeah. He does not sell the device to quirk. He like, he as a gambling collateral for him to gamble for a drink. But then he like, sweet talks this lady into opening a casino with him, and yeah, this place is popping. It's the hot new spot on the promenade. If I'm this lady, this seems like a great investment because only an idiot could ever lose money on a casino. Like, you'd have to be a fucking dumbass. Yeah, to have a casino go out of business. Like, you'd have to be like a legendarily bad at business idiot.

Yeah. Yeah, it's, you know, the house always wins. That's the, thems the rules. The, the configuration of this casino is pretty funny to me. It's just a bunch of purple-headed R2D2s around a bar. And the rules of this game are the same as they ever were. You just touch the ball and then it either glows and makes a fun sound or it does not glow and makes a sad sound.

This seems to be a little more linked to currency though, because at some point, everybody wins all at once, and he's like, well, shit, we have to pay these people now. Mizzur has also gone through a costume change of his own. He's switched into full magician regalia. Yeah, he's kind of in Vegas magician drag, isn't he? There are references to currency in this room, Ben, that our viewers of Discovery might be familiar with the Isik as a denomination.

I thought that was exciting to hear. Is this the only other time Isik's come up? I think this is the only time besides Disco that it ever came up. And I think that's when people think of the greater Star Trek universe, like I don't think this is anyone's favorite episode. That's not to say that it's a bad episode at all. Well, we know it's one person's favorite episode. Whoever wrote the second to last episode of Discovery. Right, but like the idea that this piece of throwaway jargon could be taken and used somewhere else I thought was pretty interesting. Good job, I disco.

Getting really in the weeds with the references. Yeah. I was really confused in this scene because Rowana, the investor in this casino, walks in and she looks so different from how she looked the first time. Right. Did we build the casino and turn this woman into like, into, you know, an old money fancy lady and like, how long did this transition take?

I think that's a natural thing that happens whenever someone achieves a little bit of wealth or success. The first thing you do is improve your wardrobe. Right, but the way they style her is like she's been rich her entire life. It's totally absurd. Throughout this episode, Mizzouar... Also, she gets jealous at him from motorboating one of the waitresses. She should be firing him for sexual harassing her A, but B, like since when is their relationship romantic?

It should just be business, right? This dabbo girl that he's hired to work the room was actually in Star Trek before. She was one of the fantasy women that Q made appear on Rikers' arm. You remember that moment? I don't need your fantasy women that Q made appear on Rikers arm. You remember that moment? I don't need your fantasy women. Yeah, it's true.

She came back and she's just as hot. She does not have a lot to offer, but what she does is objective beauty. This is a bad time for Rowan to walk in, but Mizurplays it off. Like it's no big deal. Like he's counseling her on how to work the room. Neatness counts. Never think it doesn't. You know, she's still got the lease on the building,

so it means she's got his nuts in a sling. Like if... I mean, they are not at war at this point, but like in the civilization parlance, there's like a red frowny face next to her. When she considers her feelings towards Mizzur. Yeah.

And then I think it's around this point that the, that the wid from early on in the app comes back and she sort of 419 scams him. She's like, oh yeah, we got the mining rights. We just need to commission a soils report on the asteroid. So I need 10,000 isics. And if you can hook that up, we'll be in business. And I'll pay you back 10X, whatever you give me.

And he gets out of lunch, payle, full of money, gives it to her and she's off. And in the least subtle act of foreshadowing of all time. There's a story economy in this episode that I feel like is pretty, pretty bracing in terms of how fast it moves. Quark is upset that the casino is opening up. There's a strange amount of luck, both good and bad,

presenting itself among members of the crew and occupants of Deep Space Nine, to the degree that like, it's being reported at ops. Like, there are more than the typical number of slips and falls that we normally get on DS9, for example. Right. The liability attorneys of the station are really kicking into high gear. We're seeing things like DAX for too adestly able to find a file or O'Brien slipping on a ball during a match or Kira like accidentally breaking a computer like bang, bang, bang, these things are happening.

Another point where I was deeply dissatisfied at this episode is Kira has a pratfall but they choose to let that happen off screen. This is not me agreeing with you, Ben. This is me being positive, and my positivity will go in the direction of Nanaavizatur has great physicality as an actor. They should have shown her do this. Like you roll out the tumbling mat under her at ups and you have her take a fall.

I think you gotta do that, right? I'm glad you see it in my way. I'm glad you're coming over to my side of the coin, Adam. I'm not. That was that was pro nana visa tour. That was not anti-episode. I'm pro nana visa tour as well, but I am anti this episode. Tell it day I die at him. I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a rei, come to a fore, I'm a re Yeah, because unlike Keanu Reeves training for a movie where he has to fight, they don't have six months

to actually get good at racquetball. We see more shirtless O'Brien than we do actual racquetball. Ha ha ha ha ha. And I was not expecting that ratio. Yeah, because Korka started to promote this racquetball showdown, like the doctor versus the mechanic, the fight of the century, two sweaty dudes in a small room swinging rackets around. And somehow, we're asked to believe that the citizens of Deep Space Nine are very excited by this promotion.

No one at DS9 wants to shell out the 60 strips of Latinum for the pay-per-view. They wanna go to the bar that's gonna play it. So that's kinda thanks to me. Who is selling the pay-per-view though? Cause I would have assumed that that would be quirk since he's also the promoter. I think this is a-

Maybe he sold that right off to some unshrewed business man and then this is on HBO 40 They're gonna show this on yeah two people who are bad at racquetball playing racquetball Yeah, and so like the game is like super one-sided, but not on the side that you would have thought Yeah, O'Brien is really murdering Bashir here, and it gets to the point where people are going crazy at quarks. It's kind of a bloodbath in a way no one's expecting, and O'Brien looks into the camera, much like I like to look into the camera when we record this show, and he says, we're going to take a little break.

Cutting the transmission. What? You can. Watch me. we're gonna take a little break. Another complaint I have at him about this episode is that Bashir is in a onesie and we've seen lots of onesies on Star Trek but somehow this onesie is like entirely free of knuck. Where's the knuck? Where is the knuck? What happened to the knuck and if they can make a onesie that is free of knuck Why are they putting Jake Cisco in a super knuck forward onesie?

What is the costume department's dark secret? What the hell are they doing is Alexander Siddeg binding himself is he is he James gumming in this? Does the white go all the way down? Is it white over where the nut would be? It is silver where the nut would be. The white stops at the nipples and then there's like a teal stripe and then it is a super-empower waste of silver pant all the way down. I wonder if silver is the secret. Oh, it like, it like tricks the eye. Maybe it smooths your contours. Maybe,

maybe he's wearing nuckspanks. Well, he's doing, he's doing bad. And the way that the, the gang on deep space nine discovers that probability is out of whack is that O'Brien can throw the, The probability is out of whack is that O'Brien can throw the racket ball at any surface and it will bounce around infinitely and come right back to his hand. Which is a great camera trick in that they just have him hit a ball off screen and then he holds up his hand and then someone obviously throws it into his hand. If my great camera trick you mean super lazy camera trick, then I have to agree at him. I loved it. Hey, you know that scene in Alien 4 where Ripley goes in and plays basketball with Ron

Proman and shit and she like tosses the ball over her head and it just nothing but net as she walks out of the room. Great fucking call back. That's a, she really made that shot. Ripley for three. I watched a little thing on it and they showed like the, they showed the, you know, the unedited clips of that and Pearlman like flips out.

And I think you can actually see it in the film that Pearlman like does not stay in character when she nails that, cause they were like, we're probably gonna have to do this as an effect but just throw the ball. How many takes did it take? It was a one-er. The first time. That's a I believe that's what they said in the video yeah. Wow that is legendary. Yeah Sigourney Weaver. Go so yeah they bring this guy tax down to the racquetball court to demonstrate how badly probability is fucked up.

And tax is like, well, all the new trinos in here spinning the same way. Therefore, probability is out of whack. And somehow this leads them to Mizzur. They totally go like Jesus in the money changers on this casino and just fucking go hog wild in there. Yeah, they clean out the temple and it turns out that that wishy washy couple that accused him of a crime before has changed their mind again and he is

re-rested for the crime that he was arrested for at the beginning of the episode. Right, and while he's in the brig, Alcia gets perpwacked into an adjoining brig sale because she has also been a grifter from the start. Yeah, she tried the mining rights grift on Quark after she tried it on Missouri. This Missouri guy has one last argument with Quark at the end in which Quark comes to the Brick to Glowt about winning the contest of casinos, which is basically what has happened to your Quark throughout the episode, was growing more and more in patience and apoplectic about the neighboring cas casino across the way.

And now he's won. The question of how quarks business is doing has really been a hot topic in the show lately. Yeah, it's true. And he really makes his business everyone else's because he even like bitches to Cisco about the legality. Right. He claims to have like the exclusive permit to run gambling concessions on the station. I like that at least Deep Space Nine and specifically

this show is partly interested in the minutia of business ownership on the station. I just want I want them to go further. I want to know more about how that happens. Me too, which is why I wish they would either you know, stand on the courage of their convictions and show what the minutia is like or not bring it up at all. Did you like this episode, Ben? No! Do you want to tell me why? Because all of the cons are super, are super transparent. Like, I was never surprised by somebody being a con artist.

I love a con-rand movie. And everybody knows that it's one of my favorite genres of movie. And it's because it's like, you're always guessing who is gaming and who is not, you know, who's running a grift on whom. And this episode just cannot get out of its own way in, you know, revealing who is bad from jump.

Like, it is literally like a Nigerian prince email scam level of transparency. I mean, I don't think it'll surprise you to know that I'm taking the opposite position. What? I really like this. I really like the episode and I think the reason I like it is because frequently I don't like shows that are sceny instead of plotty.

This is one of the episodes that is almost entirely sceny, but the reason that I like the app is because I like those scenes so much. There's a really fun O'Brien in the locker room from Rocky moments, like when he gets ready for that final confrontation with Bashir, that I really liked. There's the whole backstory of like Quark Railroading Bashir and O'Brien into the match to begin with, because he's giving proceeds to a Bajoran orphanage. There's like an underpinning for why things are happening here that I really appreciated. And I thought the performances were good too. I think anytime you get angry quark, that's good. Anytime you get sweaty,

shirtless, O'Brien, that's a good thing. I hope we see more of that. And it was a very good Kako episode, maybe the best Kako episode that we've gotten and so for all those reasons together I like the episode. Well you're wrong Adam, but if you want to move on to priority one messages That's something that we can both agree on Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channel Need a supplement one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Ben our first priority one message is for House Mokai. It is from L'Harell and the message goes like this. Ari, Starfleet infiltration via TGG slash TG

D I signify I'm of them, with thumbs up, Hearts laughing in sad faces, The chat group yielded vast intel, but hearted to cipher. I created Jim Shimoda, and now they do jumping jacks. Not combat training, they are best of humanity. From this day, I am Kim Zadi.

Sold my armor to Funkadelic, Mochaikin' fuck off, Plavim too. Hahaha. The resin Plavim wars really died down for a while and they are back to hot at this point. That is like the most unintelligible thing we've gotten, not from the Worm the warm honeyd bosom in a while Yeah, there's also a hot war between the warm honeyd bosom and and those guys and team razz and team plebe

Yeah, and also between the hot the warm honey bosom and making sense And we have a second priority one message here. It is from Imogen, and it's for Megan. Those are our friends in Australia, right? Oh yeah. It goes like this. To the greatest sister in the galaxy, Kimo is a bitch, but you are rocking it like a superstar, and I'm gonna be here,

shimotivating you for the next 100 years because I love you. Woo, woo, wow. years because I love you. Wee wee wee wee wee. Waa. Heh heh heh. Uh, I don't think I realized that Megan was fighting something chemo-related.

Is that always cancer? I think we're lucky to not know for sure. Yeah. Sex bad, it sounds like. I hope our dumb show is able to give you comfort. Yeah. Um, they, uh, Imogen and Reagan have been fun, fun part of this community from basically the beginning,

as far as I can remember. And OG viewers of the pod. Yeah, and we are really glad that treatment is getting got and like Imogen will be, We are really glad that treatment is getting got and Like imaging will be will be shall motivating you for the next hundred years That's right. That's the sentence that you and I have you won't be able to wiggle out of this like the way you were able to wiggle out of jail Yeah, it's when we signed the contract with Max Fleta was a lot like signing up to become a Scientologist Except there's no money to be made. Well, if you would like to send a priority one message, you can go over to MaximumFun.org slash

GemboTron, where a personal message is a hundred bucks, and a commercial message is 200 bucks. And they help us pay the lawyers that are helping us try and get out of this crippling contract. Hey Adam. What's that been? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? Drunk Shimoda! Yeah, I think the scene that stuck out to me most was Bishir's sauce snatching in the beginning. Like I have so many questions about this scene. Like I feel like the Reppelamat would be a place that much like Costco does.

The Costco Food Court has the large format condiment area with like the gallon size jug that you take your food to it and you prepare your food there and then you go back to your seating area, I find it strange that the Reppelmat would have individual bottles on each of the table tops there. And so I found Bishir's growing frustration with the empty sauces to be something of a a Shimoda for sure. That to me was great. What about you? I'm going to give it to Quark. Quark spends much of this episode promoting a big sporting event, which he then televises by having a GoPro up on a wall in a room. And he does the play by play himself. Like, he has no staff, he has no, like, camera crew. And when O'Brien and Bashir decide that they don't want any further part of it, they just can go turn the camera off.

And Quark has no recourse there. Like, come on, Quark, be a little better. I think what you have to do is get Hollow Jim Lampley and hollow Larry Merchant to do the call on this. They have the technology. Yeah. Get with it. A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why?

Well it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it! The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info.

That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds.

Pat Noswald. Can I get a ball-rock burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Non-Giani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are already open. Just pull it out.

Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Whoa, rats. Hey, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line. And, boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short

neck. But I'm hearing we need to get on this all. We've got to get on the art. Yeah. It's about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two. What do you think? O on the next step, Ben? An ep that we may or may not be doing a corks bar style because it only squares two squares

away from us. We are dangerously close to Quirksbar. Well, the next episode is season two, episode 12. The alternate, Odo's mentor arrives on Deep Space 9, intent on resuming his search for Odo's true origin. And then what does Netflix have to say about that? Well, Adam, you'll be delighted to learn that as far as Netflix is concerned, the next episode is episode 12.

Dr. Mora Polarives on Deep Space Nine with the announcement that he may have a clue to Odo's origins. A rare meeting of the minds between the capsule writers at Amazon and Netflix. Pretty exciting stuff. This has been a, this has been Odo's big storyline. This is a, this is a myth arc up for Odo, looks like. I'm interested in getting back into this storyline. Mm-hmm.

I think they, I think they do a good job maybe every eight-ish episodes of, of touching this again. Yeah. I think that's the right rate, too. Like, like they're very, they're very intentionally slow rolling this. of touching this again. Yeah. I think that's the right rate, too. They're very intentionally slow rolling this. If the cigarette smoking man is in every episode, it just gets a little tiresome. That's right.

Adam, do you want to open up our game board? The game of buttholes, the will of the prophets, and see what fate has in store for us, has the laws of probability been altered? You're required to learn as you play. Roll. Right now we're on square number 34. 34. And I am now going to roll the die.

And it is a one. Shula! Did I win? Hardly. It is a one. It moves us to square 35. And it is one square closer to a quark-spar episode. Wow. Well, I am really glad that we didn't land on 36 because I have a hangover today. Oh, I couldn't tell. Oh, that's, I mean, other than you being irritated

and negative throughout the last episode. I'm a slave to the coin ad, and the coin told me to do that. Well, great. I'm looking forward to that episode, Ben. Well, normal style that she'll be in the meantime. You can let us know which of us carried the day with the most persuasive argument all over the social media. There's reddit, there's a Facebook group,

there's the greatest Jen Hashtag on Twitter where Adam is at Cut for Time and I'm at BenjaminRAH. I'm gonna say that if Ben's arguments were more persuasive to you, maybe you can use hashtag negative Ben and if my arguments spoke to you in a more deep way, you could use hashtag positive Adam. I'm positive that you're an idiot Adam and we'll see more of that on next week's episode. We should thank Dark Materia for our theme music and Adam Reducia for all of the other

music, including most of the theme music now that you're here on the show. And our viewers that go to MaximumFun.org slash Donate and help produce the show out of the kindness of their own hearts. More tour dates are coming out. By the week I would say if you're interested in seeing us do this live and why wouldn't you? It's a glorious shit show of dick jokes and star trek and our dumb faces. I would encourage you to go to GreatestGenCon.com and find out where we're going to be for the rest of the year. More dates being announced all the time, and we look forward to seeing you out on the road. With that being said, we'll be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek, Deep Space Nine, another episode of the Greatest Generation, Deep Space 9, another episode of the greatest generation Deep Space 9,

which could be swapped out for any other episode of the greatest generation Deep Space 9, probably, without being noticed. you make it sound maximum fun dot or comedy and culture artist owned listener supported maximumfund.org.

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