The Greatest Generation - Late-Model Augment (ENT S4E6)

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

When Dr. Soong wants to hide all of his augments in the Briar Patch, Malik pitches a plan to start a war between the Klingons and Starfleet. But after Persis continues to play both sides by helping Soong escape to the Entrepreneur’s brig, Malik decides to blow up the Bird of Prey leaving only one family member to serve time. Who was the older brother Ben needed growing up? What is Soong’s record? Which upgrade comes with a premium hole saw? It’s the episode with a bad bit moment that gets off on a technicality. Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Here's to the finest crew in starving. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the song. Welcome to the greatest generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranica.

That is a very telling exhalation. Yeah. We were just talking right before we heated the mics up about all of the ways life will throw a little, a little something in your way to just make the day a little more exciting. People who are chronically late are told, just plan on being there 15 minutes early. And that's your new on time. And I feel like life is like that too. Like you just plan on a day being a certain way. And then you get the, this. the traffic, the metaphorical traffic that gets in the way of the stuff you had planned. Yeah. And before you know it, your whole day is just in tatters. Whole day

and tatters. And this is, this day is much like that. I don't know if this will cheer you up at him, but... I am cheery, I should say that. Like, I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just like, I'm kind of fatigued from like triage,

triage, triage, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I went out and had myself a bad bit moment the other day, and I thought I'd tell you about this on today's merit. It's a segment we haven't done in a really long time. I'm glad this is coming back, Penn. This is one of the best segments we do. Bits.

Bits. Bits. You're always doing bits. Bits. You're always doing bits. Bits. Bits. I was doing bits. Bad bit moments. Bad Bit Moment. I will confess that I

somewhat self-consciously engaged in this bad bit moment. I was like, all right, this is a long shot. I am returning something at a target. I'm not glad that I'm in a target in the first place, much less that I'm here

at this target returning something. But that is the scenario I find myself in. And I got a bit. Are you returning your thing or your wife's thing? I'm returning my, child's thing and oh and i'm like this lady is the returns desk worker at a target

this is not somebody that you bust out a bit on without giving it some thought sure they've heard it all they've heard it all because this is like the excuse desk basically you're expected to come up with a reason right yeah i mean i think they have a pretty liberal return policy uh i don't I don't know that they, like, really want to hear from you why you're returning something, but... And probably over-explaining would be bad. Yeah, it seems suspicious. So I, what I was returning were my daughter, almost 10 months old now, has begun to walk. Congratulations.

Yeah, we needed a way to protect her little tutsies while she's walking around outside, especially. And I was in there, and I picked up some little shoesies for. her and her big old clodhoppers are just way too big for them so i plunked these down on the counter and i said for return baby shoes didn't fit oh geez oh geez all i do is bits fits that's what you've done here ben is that's a smart joke is what i'm going to say is Like, you got to be, you got to be on a certain level to be on that one. I was like, you know, I don't think that this person is like in my social media bubble, you know, where that joke fucking crushes. That kills on what used to be Twitter.

Right. But I was like, here's the thing. She's at the return desk at Target. She hears it all. Maybe this will be a new one on her. And maybe if she catches the reference, she will appreciate it. and you know what she gave me? Huh.

Well, that's all I got. A, like a knowing he. Not a ha, a he. And she processed the return, and, uh, I bought some peanut butter with my gift card. That's a Hemingway attribution, right? Is it or no? Yeah, I think, I think the idea is it's, uh, he, he was trying to write the shortest, saddest story. I mean, if you are also returning a book of Hemingway, is that what you need?

Like, you never want to explain the joke, but maybe the humph suggests that she didn't get it. Or did she get it and did she just not appreciate it? I got the sense that she got it and was like, yeah, I know what a bit is. I work at the return desk at Target. God damn it. You deserve so much more respect than that. you know we've constructed rules about this about how you're not supposed to hold a retail worker hostage to your bits that being a main thrust of this whole segment is like trying to teach people how to act in public but I'm going to say like I want you to be off the hook on this yeah that was so benign you said what needed to be said also like in as few words as possible so if you didn't even get the bit it's what you're there to do right it gets off on a technical Which is that I didn't add anything to the interaction that didn't need to be there.

Yeah. And that's the core problem with the bits on tips type of person is like all the frosting on the interaction that you don't need. That waitress has other tables, sir, is the problem with the bits on tips. So were the Jordans accepted as a return? And you sized up, baby Jays? You know, they had an absolutely atrocious selection. And these were like the only thing that I thought might work. And they didn't.

And we wound up linking up with a friend who has an older kid who had outgrown a bunch of shoes. And we're covered. You know, we're good. This is baby two for you after Jerome. Got to ask. You taking some shortcuts with this one? Like a real, like this girl is going to wear these shoes for two months. It doesn't really matter anyway.

kind of vibe to this experience Definitely a little less precious About any given clothing purchase I would say I think a lot of kids appreciate that Sensibility from their parents Yeah

I know I sure did So with my shame You know And my hat and my hand I trudged back home And returned to Star Trek podcasting Which is really where Where my talents

Truly lie With someone who gets your references This is 58% of the time. Do you want to talk about an episode of Star Trek, Adam? I really do, Ben. Let's get into the second of a three-parter. I think it might have been the third of a three-parter. That's how three-parters work,

because this is the last installment of a series of episodes about augments. It is coincidentally Enterprise Season 4, episode 6, and it's called The Augments. So when we left off at the exciting conclusion of last week's episode, Archer was going on a solo trip to stop a containment breach. And I was really roasting the writers and Archer

for making this a, I'll go do it myself. Because like, there's like there's so many people. Like, you've never even fucking been here, man. Can't they help? that's the aspect to this that made me laugh in a weird way because like this is that moment where you have guests over and you're like, hey, can I offer you a beverage or a snack? And they're like, I'll go get it.

And there's that moment that kind of conflict where you're like, oh yeah, you can go get it. But also, what the fuck are you doing? Making yourself so at home in my house. Are you looking through my medicine cabinet too? Yeah. How do you even know where things are? Archer does look a little bit more like spry than Richard Reel.

Richard Reel's really been through it in the last, you know, a few hours, what with all of the beatdowns by Augies he's been receiving. No bigger fan of Richard Reel than you and I. And yet I think we could agree, you do not want to shoot Reel from below. Right. Climbing a ladder. Not his best angle. Not if you want the audience to walk away from the experience with a drile.

rye sofa surface. It made a little bit more sense to me in the context in which we see it because what he does is climb up this ladder and the thing that he's going for, the main junction in question, is actually just a spot that you access from the ladder. There's not like room for anyone else in there. No. No, there definitely isn't. And like on the radio, it's Reed calling in the shots, the instructions on how to save the

day to firewall the area where all the lab assistants are and the crew is gathered. But here's the thing. Once Archer successfully hits the buttons and redirects the switches and so forth, it's Archer's area that's going to be unprotected by all these pathogens. I hate that. Yeah. Yeah, he saves everyone but himself. And in a pretty desperate voice, Dr. Lucas announces that he has less than a minute to fix. figure out a way to get to safety and just doesn't seem like it's, I mean, this might be the end of Captain Archer for all we know. I love how we're just daisy chaining one minute or less deadlines to emergency situations here. Because I think like less than a minute ago, it was less

than a minute left. Yeah. Now there's a minute remaining on this other problem. Yeah. Can we please have a little more time on the emergencies? Is there like a snooze button, just like give ourselves ten? That would be great. Nine and a half, you know? After the theme, Archer blows in a call to Tepal, and he's like, hey, a transport out would be great right now. Can you do it? No, she can't.

They're too far away. But what if they blew a hole in the part of the lab up the long laber where Archer is found himself to sort of bust him out of top of this coat can to get him out of trouble. That's the plan they go with because I guess that's all the time they have. That's the pitch he has. Shoot this specific hatch so he will rocket out into space as the asteroid decompresses. This is an idea you only offer to a crew without Reed on that button, right? Like knowing Reed is in the lab, I think you're far more comfortable with whoever's shooting on Enterprise. Almost anyone at the transporter controls

will be able to do this as long as it's not read. Because if you bite a little too far down the shaft, your bris is ruined here. If you're Archer, you need to make sure you cut off the top of the can. Right, yeah. Just a little bit, just a little bit off the top.

Just a trim. No, took way too much off the last time. We see him shoot up this hose. How do you like this? You like this effect? Pretty fun. It's great. I like that until it's PlayStation 3 Archer in space.

It's a version of Jirt Cable that I really like. Like, guy on cable, one of my favorite scenes in any action set piece. Yeah. You never see them go up on cable. I know. It's always like back. Yeah. This is fun.

Up is a fun way to go. Yeah. He materializes on the transporter pad, like flocked with. frost and you know I love like the red under the frost look like really cool

it looks fucked up I love this it looks like he barely survived this Archer has been so roughed up over the last couple seasons this guy has really

taken a beating really has yeah this is I guess this is light Archer because like the you know the frosting oh yeah the flocking

holiday season Archer Look at him Oh, some neighborhood kids wrote like a dirty word With their finger against his skin He's got those like little plastic not permanent sticker things You can put on windows like that depicts snowmen and snowflakes and stuff He's got those stuck to his cheeks Soong and Malik are over there on the bird of prey

And they're having pretty heated argument about the presumed death of Archer. Like Malik left a lot of people behind to die and at least believes that Archer is dead. And Suing is so fucking mad that anything that they did led to loss of life. Mad in like a very forgiving parent kind of way. He's like, young man, if you kill anyone else from now on, you're going to get grounded real bad. I told you to stop murdering it. No. I stop murdering it. Okay, I'm going to count to three. Stop murdering innocents.

One. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess the punishment he receives is busy work in engineering. Yeah. I'm not an engineer. You're a bright boy, Malik. I'm sure you'll figure it out. I like the looks exchanged between Malik and Persis.

Like, what crawled up? Dad's ass. He didn't used to care about innocent life. I know. Back on Enterprise. the update is the folks in the lab were evacuated, Archer's going to be okay, and in Six Bay,

Reed to Paul and Trip Tucker discuss what the next moves are going to be with Archer. And there is a real obvious danger in pursuing the bird of prey into Klingon space because Klingons hate Archer. Yeah. And they would take any excuse to kill him. They would love to just have him

so that they could see if they could figure out a way to build a prison that can contain him. That's a great call. They just use them for research purposes. Right, yeah. There's a brilliant idea suggested by Reid, which is, what if we tried to fake a Klingon warp signature? That way we can go into Klingon space and they'll pick us up and they'll be like, that's

a friendly, we're not going to shoot at them. This seems possible to trip. Great plan. Only plan. Plan A is the plan. I love a meeting that ends early. And that's what this one looks like it does. Back on the bird of prey, a different kind of meeting takes place.

That's the their plan meeting. A.I. Sung has a destination idea for the group inside the Breyer Patch. There's some planets in there that are hidden pretty nicely because of all the radiation in that part of space. Sure are. Nice to hear reference to Clock de Gelbrocked. To a beloved Star Trek movie? that basically the briar patch is the only part I remember Weird skin and the briar patch

That's what I remember Oh and like shaved Riker Was that the Shaved Riker movie? I think that is the Shaved Riker movie Babyface Riker Yeah Time to use the briar patch the way Brer Rapp did Yeah so it's like

We gotta go find a nice place that nobody's going to come nosing around so that all these embryos that we just heisted can develop in peace. And Malik is like, fuck that plan. Like, I don't want to let the babies develop and grow up. That's, that sucks. That's no fun. I want to, I want to, like, do bad shit with my friends and smoke real cigarettes. He doesn't like playing defense. He likes playing offense. And he's like, you know, one of the best point guards in the game. Con Nooney and Singh. I collected all his basketball cards. I admit it, like I spent a little too much on the

authentic version of the jersey. It's one of my most prized possessions. Maybe we could find the Botany Bay and connect with them. Wouldn't that be fun? But AI Soon is like Kan Nune and Singh?

That was a made up player on the NBA jam game. Like he wasn't even real. Like, what are you talking about? Botany Bay is a myth. There's no evidence that ever existed. It's fantastic. Yeah, it's like somewhat disputed. Like Malik is like, they destroyed the records to hide the truth or whatever. But yeah, like, the upshot of this is that Khan ran from his enemies and Malik is like, he really bitched out on that and we're going to like, we're going to do the opposite. We're going to take the fight to them. Malik is like, uh, Khan Nune and Singh is real. It's the female orgasm that's fake. Just ask purses. With whom I've had many, many bedroom scenes.

She seems satisfied, right? It's a fake. Right? I won't cease or desist because you really think it's fair use. On the Enterprise Bridge, Archer has arrived. A little early. Did I ever tell you about my discovery of the male orgasm?

I am all ears, Ben. How is this a story that has not been told on this show? I don't know. I was just thinking about this. the day. I was on an ice hockey team. This is like, I was probably like 12 or 13 at the time. It almost goes without saying. I think many of these stories start with that introduction. And I had like, I had looked up orgasm in the dictionary. That's how you do it. And I was like, oh, like, it's not just a female thing. There's a male and a female orgasm.

And then like that afternoon at hockey practice, I skated up. to my friend Alan who was this like who was one of two black kids on our hockey team. Oh God this just keeps getting worse. And he was like a full foot taller than me. Like I was like quite tall for my grade. Alan was fucking enormous. He was a huge

kid and I was like, hey Alan did you know that men can have orgasms too? And he goes, yeah Ben, it's when you nut. And then skate it away. And then I was like I don't think I can look up nut in the dictionary and understand what he meant.

Alan could have taught you so much. I know. I should have stayed in touch. That was my biggest mistake. Alan was the older brother that you really needed growing up to get you through. Yeah. Some of the essential questions. It was the star of our hockey team.

Could have gone pro. Anyways. Alan could have gone pro, but he was afflicted at an early age with some sort of like, mental illness brought on by some insanity, like someone asking him a question that just short-circuited his brain? I'm sorry, I should have been more specific. He could have gone pro as a masturbator.

Yeah. There's that obligate scene later where Sue Hsuung goes up to Maligan is like, hey, man, you keep backbiting me in front of the whole crew. Like, I'm in charge here, and I'm trying to run a ship and you keep challenging my authority. I don't care for it. Yeah.

By the way, what are you doing? Asked Malik, as soon as they're tinkering on embryos again. And he admits that what he's doing is removing their violent and aggressive predispositions. And Malik takes great umbrage with this. He's like, you can't genetically manipulate, genetically

manipulated embryos? What are you doing? That's not what their creators would have wanted. So he's an originalist genetic manipulator. You get one chance.

Suing is kind of like it's a living document and we'll amend the genome as we go. That's not really how Malik thinks about it. No, incredible argument here That neither of them seem self-aware enough To understand the absurdity of in that way, I think Interesting that it is this scene

That we learned that Malik's last name is Scalia Just a total falling out Is underway between Soong and his dear son Malik He used to have faith in me I was a child, I didn't know any better I mean they could continue this fight here and now but they realize that the entrepreneur is chasing them. Archer blows in a call over the radio.

Stop! Or we'll shoot! But the bird of prey shoots first. This is great. And they just trade fire back and forth. The thing about the bird of prey is it's overmatched kind of significantly by enterprise. And so soon as to come up with a weird bit of business to get them off their asses, it involves this denobulent pilot in their shuttle.

and they turned toward a nearby planet to commence with this little plan. Yeah. A plan that involves the denobulant shuttle being shit out of the bird of prey and dropped into the atmosphere. And on FaceTime, Sung, it's like, look, man, it's going to probably take you a few hours to rescue the Danab. Yeah. Which is how I refer to denobulins as a shorthand. This is a classic Lex Luthor Gambit. Like we're going to put Lois Lane in peril so that Superman is distracted by that.

And the bigger problem of nipping the villainy in the bud is no longer within reach. So, yeah, we got to save that poor woman. And then later we'll go get the bad guys. I mean, you could call it if you're going to save this person, you know, using your ship, like, by swooping down and, like, taking it in. You could be a Deneb goblin. Denobgoblin? And if you kind of made that into like a pastime or even a hobby, you could call yourself a Donob hobgoblin. Absolutely. You could. And with that line, some pieces out in the bird of prey.

Malik needs to talk to daddy. There's a lot of repair going on on the bird of prey. This was a pretty significant attack due to the low amount of shielding on the aft section of this type of ship. and a lot of sparks fly as they're walking through the hallway. It makes sense on a Klingon ship, right? Klingon ships rarely turning and running. So you wouldn't really need a bunch of shielding on the backside. Right.

Kahn Nune-Sing would have shielding on the backside because he's a fucking coward and he ran. Yeah. Also, you ever check out the backside on a Kahn-Nunian-Sing? Just absolute dump truck back there. It's the kind of trunk space you want in a late model augment.

Yeah. Hey, find a planet and hide is a plan that is not going to work for Malik. Yeah. Especially with an adversary is determined as enterprise, right? They've already proven it. Unlike Enterprise, which only has a plan A, Malik actually has a pretty compelling plan B that he would like to pitch Sungan. He's like, listen, you know that place we just came from with all of the deadly pathogens and toxins. I got a bunch of those before we left.

and we could go shoot them into the atmosphere of a Klingon planet and kill all life on the surface and then, you know, let the High Council know that some humans did that, and they'll go to war with Earth, and then nobody will be looking for us. We could get away. Look, first, the plan is disgusting and bad, and I don't agree with it whatsoever. But I got to say, Ben, I was kind of impressed with Malik's thinking here. like this is kind of next level stuff he deserved more credit than i think uh he initially got i just thought he was all all brawn and no brains sure like he's thought this through this is slightly more three-dimensional chess yeah playing your enemies against each other the shit's chess it ain't checkers yeah soon is not impressed and he continues to big dog the shit over his adoptive son and malick is just not loving that aspect of their dynamic at all it's a real Disgust measuring contest because Tsung is disgusted by the plan, Malik is disgusted by what a coward his father's become, unwilling to, you know, make the hard decisions, the hard genocidal decisions required to ensure their future.

Indeed. So back aboard the entrepreneur, we learned that they have rescued that poor woman. We never see her. The Dab has been gobbled. Mm-hmm. Now, to Paul and Tripp have been given the job of boosting censors so that they can figure out where the bird of prey fucked off to. Hey, Ben. Yeah. Lately, you've become so good at creating artwork for our merch. Oh, sure. What would you say to the idea of Donab Goblin as like the text?

Yeah. And it's Dr. Flux's head on the body of a turkey. Okay. And maybe he's doing the blow-up face that he had to do in that bar for self-defense. So this is not a roasted turkey. This is a live turkey? Yeah, yeah. It's a live turkey with the feathers and the waddle. Yeah, exactly. What do you think? I like it. I could see this selling.

Okay. All right. It's just a pitch. You're not obligated. I'm trying to come up with some like holiday stuff. So maybe if you don't mind, I'll do that first and then I'll do Dunab Goblin. Okay. Goblin. Yeah. Yeah, do Dinaab Goblin well after Thanksgiving. I guess a turkey is like, yeah, that's the problem. Dinaab Gobbler is what it is, not Goblin, because then we're talking about Halloween. Right.

Mm-hmm. Although that would be fun, like Spider-Man fighting flocks on a flying platform. Oh, yeah. That would be great. Could we get away with selling a T-shirt with Spider-Man on it if it was silly enough? Does that mean it's parody? No one's paying attention to anything anymore. Okay.

Of course we could get away with it. You know, everything's falling apart. No one gives a shit. Legally, it's just a fart joke. You will never take the greatest shit alive. Ben would rather die. There's some tension between Tripp and to Paul, what with the fact that she went and married that fucking doofus on Vulcan,

and they haven't really talked much since. You've been avoiding me. Oh, maybe I have. This is the first time I've noticed she's wearing an Enterprise patch on her cat suit. Is this the first episode where she has? No, she's added this season. She added Rank Insignia and the patch.

I definitely remember seeing the Pips, but I don't remember seeing the sleeve thing. Yeah. I'm guessing that all of the neuropressure has just, you know, the Port Cullis has come down on that. I like that word. Tripp is, he's probably withdrawing pretty hard, right? Yeah, you can't just stop.

You need to wind it down. Tighter off of it a little bit. I think the implication is just that Tripp is super jealous and sad that she picked the duffus, you know, she picked the dud and not the stud. But in fact, what he expresses is he's really proud of her for like standing up for her mom in the way that she did and anyways, he's a human, she's a Vulcan,

it wouldn't have worked out between them anyways. Yeah, that kind of gets him off the hook, doesn't it? Yeah, it would have been a disaster anyway. Right? Romeo and Juliet probably stood a better chance. Well, we can't talk much more about that because bloop, bloop, there's something on the censors and that's probably maybe the bird of prey.

Good enough for Archer. Yeah, whatever it is. they change course to intercept and on the bird of prey malick tells purses that he's about to get a big promotion and wants to know what side she'll be on in the aftermath they got all of the department heads except for weps and that's why he's talking to her we gotta have weps he's the key yeah he is planning on ousting soon arresting daddy no sooner has she agreed to this that they go do it and I love his, like, incredulity. Like, you actually brought a bunch of guys to do this?

Like, was, look at me, I'm an old man, and I'm not even augmented. I always wondered how many people it would take to forcibly mutiny me. And it turns out it's five? Yeah. All right. I guess that's the amount of people that distributes evenly in a wide doorway in a way that sends a message, you know, that really intimidates. Yeah. Is the idea that he's such a clever little devil that he could talk them out of it if they brought fewer guys?

Like, they need the confidence of numbers. I like that theory. Yeah. But isn't theirs the superior intellect? Or is he just, like, naturally gifted in a way that they're augmentedly gifted? I think it's that whole dad thing where when you're a child, even though your dad is wrong in so many ways, like you're reluctant to ever challenge their authority. And this is that moment in this episode. The next moment in this episode is onboard the entrepreneur

when they learned that a actual Klingon cruiser staffed by actual Klingon's is less than two minutes from visual range and on an intercept course. And they're like, shit, fuck. And we learned that they've updated the universal translator to include a lot more Klingon dialects. So they give a go of an audio-owned. hail and Archer successfully talks this guy out of pulling them over by claiming that they have

the chancellor on board and this is like a like a secret mission for the chancellor to go like bang some Ryan babes basically yeah a Ryan booty call is is the excuse that he gives boy a Klingon traffic stop is really like to get out of one it is just all making fun of the officer pulling you over, you know? It would be best if you made no mention of this to your superiors, or you might find yourself commanding a garbage scow. Understood. This guy is such a fucking idiot.

Yeah. Yeah. It works. I can't believe it works. Amazing. What isn't working is Sung on the bird of prey. Persis visits him and admits that she's on his side. She only went along with Malik because her life was threatened.

Can they maybe work together to stop him? Maybe she can get him off the bird of prey. So that's what they try to do and they make their way to this escape pod. And she shuts the door on him. And off he goes, dumped out like rabbit poop out the back of this bird of prey. Were you surprised to see this? I thought bird of praises didn't have escape pods. I thought that that was like a whole thing with Klingon ships.

I think we've talked about this over and over again every time we've seen a Klingon escape method even talked about. It doesn't seem like it should be a thing. It's a real ugly escape pod too. I love those like the little hexagonal federation ones that come out of the saucer. I like that this one's plus size for a Klingon sized body and not, you know, a smaller, older human body. It looks a little roomy in a way that works. Yeah, he's got, he can really spread out in there. That's nice. Yeah. And it's bigger than a capsule hotel room, I think. Like, he's got, he can turn around in there. This is amazing. This is like, way better than one of those Japanese business hotels. Yeah. So this dude is picked up almost immediately by the entrepreneur. He didn't even get the chance to set up his charging mat and get his pillow just right. Like, he was barely in there. Barely in there.

And now he's in jail in the brig and telling Archer about Malik's dastardly plan to attack this Klingon colony. I bet few characters have been in two Brigs in one day the way Sung is in this episode. Two different ones. That's pretty fun. And by the end of the episode, three in one episode. Shit, you're right. It's got to be some kind of record. It's Sung's record, which is very different from the record that you and I are familiar with.

yeah and Alan who set the actual record yeah it's true Alan jersey and the rafters of record stadium yeah they didn't even have to put like a like a coat hanger in it it just it was just rigid from everything that had happened to it well the jersey you wear going for the record is kind of a halter top too it does not go down very far yeah you got to keep it out of the way yeah I suppose Sue is genuinely worried about what will happen to Earth if the Klingons decide that Earth needs to be gone to war with and Archer was aware that there were disease samples stolen from Cold Sight 12 or whatever

but the idea that Sune wasn't behind that part of the raid is kind of news to Archer. That's what turns Archer toward thinking maybe Sune is actually telling him the truth. It takes him convincing, right? because Soong is pretty wormy. Yeah. Has not been like the most truthful guy so far in the three-parter.

I mean, in the clarinet rental closet, Trip Tucker and Topal are kind of incredulous in that way too. Like, really? Like you're going to trust this guy? He may be leading us into a trap. What makes you so sure? Whatever makes Archer so sure about anything. Yeah. Yeah.

The problem with changing course now and speeding up the ship is that their phone. Warp signature camouflage might not hold up to cling on scrutiny. So they got to watch out for that. They do. So Malik and Persis have a little chat in bed, a sweaty little chat about the escape of suing. Yeah, Malik is wondering who got Sung off the ship. And because she's the best at getting someone off, he suspects her as the person who did it. Persis jaws a knife to defend herself from these terrible allegations and slashes Malik like down through the shoulder into the chest. It's going to be a cool scar. I thought that exactly. Yeah, this is actually benefits Malik quite a bit.

Malik, really good fighter fighting hand-to-hand against someone with a bladed weapon. Turns out he's pretty good at stabbing Gash himself. Gets one over on Persis and RSVP Persis. She gets the kiss of death He's going to miss her, Adam How about that? He sends her off with a bye-bye kiss Gotta say, love this

Love the kiss of death It's just Apex bad guy shit It really is No, they're not gonna sue They got no case Because parody and damn Depends me

On the bridge of the entrepreneur Another goddamn Klingon Battlecruiser is on an intercept course with them. We've gone up to a D5, which, God fucking damn it. That sounds pretty big, you know?

It does, yeah. It's no D7, but we're talking some serious hardware here. Archer's like, okay, let me see if I can get us out of this one, but the Klingons hail them and know that they are an Earth vessel. When you're dealing with Klingon Boggs

from Shashank Redemption, and he's not buying your shit, you know, you're in trouble. Drop out of warp or we'll destroy your ship. Mark Ralston as Captain Maher. A surprise

Ralston, always very threatening, by fine. Never feeling safe with him. Soon gets in there and it's like, hey, I know you don't know me, but let me just say, these guys, these are some of the best guys. You should let them do the thing that they're doing right now because Klingon lives are at risk

and they are trying so hard right now to save Klingon lives. And Ma is like, is that a threat? It's like you're a tourist in a place where you don't speak the language. And the person you're with, like out at dinner or whatever, like definitely speaks the language and definitely knows the customs. And you accidentally insult them. And you don't know that you've done it. And your buddy, like, has to talk you out of it.

That's what the energy of the scene is, except Sung is terrible. His pigeon Klingon insufficient. Kuv Lugaj Archer Coldbeck Dodge-J There's only one way you're going to get out of a bind like this, Adam. Only one tool can free you from the bind that the entrepreneur is in. That's the grappler. I didn't know Enterprise had this in it as a show

because what we get here is that viral video of 20 years ago of like that Kia being towed out of a snow ditch and having its bumper ripped off. Because once this grappler sinks into this nacell and Enterprise starts trying to drag it, it totally works. This is great. It busts this thing up.

Is this Star Trek Enterprises flyer apart then moment? Because they keep going like, oh, like the shearing strength on the grapplers too much. It's so good. I love it. Archer's like, no, keep going. Did you want the nacelle to get pulled off entirely? I did or like separated with like cabling and stuff so that it like was like hanging limp in space.

There's something about the idea of Enterprise getting back underway at warp with a grappler holding a severed nacelle behind it, like floating behind. Yeah, like there's nothing we can do to retract the grappler because of damage done by the shearing. So we're just going to have to leave that out there. Yeah. That would be cool. Yeah. Yeah, the Klingon ship is not going to be able to go to warp, but the entrepreneur can. Do you think all the Klingons commit ritual suicide on board at, like, being defeated by the grappler?

Such shame brought onto their houses. Not an honorable death. Yeah. My bloodline ends here. It is hard to grapple with the dishonor I am experiencing. My final bit of wordplay. As they like plunge the poison knife into their belly. So the bird of prey is getting ready for their little genocide bombing run when the entrepreneur shows up.

and they've been talking about like, okay, we've got a modified torpedo ready to go, but the guidance system has not been configured. So we're going to have to launch this thing without testing it. It's going to be a close one. Malik's like, what are you fucking Reed? You don't think you can hit a planet from orbit with a single torpedo? What the fuck am I working with here?

What do you need a guidance system for? This moment where Malcolm Reed is able to bullseye a moving target as it plummets toward the planet. He hits a bullet with three bullets. Strange credulity, right? In the nuclear weapons parlance. Yeah, yeah. We've never seen him do so well. I felt like Malcolm Reed should have gotten a lot more flowers in this moment.

Like this should have been like everybody on the bridge going, oh my God, you fucking did it, you know. I also feel like the intent was one torpedo and Reed took three, like, knowing himself. If you read, you got to shoot three. I need something to do on this shit. Come on. Fair enough. It would have been funny if he'd been like, oops. I held the button down a little too long. He shoots the grappler out first, like, fuck, fuck! So, yeah, day save.

And now we got to fight the bird of prey. And Suing is giving them targeting advice because they're trying to shoot at the bridge. And Stoog is like, no, it's way too well shielded. You got to shoot this part aft of the bridge. Which I sort of felt was a lie, right? Like I just feel like he was trying to save his children. Maybe. Did you?

I mean, it works to disable the ship without killing everybody. Yeah. I don't think that Archer necessarily cared about killing everybody. No, but I think Sune cared about. preventing their deaths that a direct hit to the bridge would ensure. Anyways, Archer chooses to trust soon, and it works. If we go to the bridge of the Bird of Prey where Malik is doing his best bloody, defeated Khan crawl across the field of rubble. I really like this moment.

I liked its homage. It was good. Yeah. I think Khan would really appreciate the auto-destruct option being taken here. Good job. Yeah. Soong tries to talk him out of auto-destruct on the one-MC. Yeah, because that ship has all the embryos on board still, right?

It does. By destroying the bird of prey, you kill all of them. I mean, like, isn't that just like this kind of leader, though? Like, it's 100% about Malik. Yeah. Like, who gives a shit about the people under him who might suffer if he fails? Sure. I mean, speaking of under him, he didn't care about purses a few scenes ago.

He was going to miss her. Yeah. RSVP the augments RSVP the embryos Great effects work on the bird of prey explosion I feel like we've seen repeat copies of Klingon ship explosions before

on Star Trek but this this is a little fresh take yeah good stuff soon gets taken to crew quarters he's not going to be in the brig anymore and what the fuck Malik drops out of the ceiling like a goddamn

Suleban? Didn't see this coming. Wait, what? Malik is alive? And he kicks all kinds of ass on his way to attempting to kill Sune. But he didn't count on

Archer not being chaoed here. Archer shoots him in the back. An RSVP Malik. Yeah. Was that a stun? I don't think stun goes the way through the way this one does, huh? Yeah, I guess so.

Wasn't it said in dialogue a couple episodes ago? Like, Stun doesn't work on these guys. Oh, yeah, good point. Wow. You got to use Holesaw as a setting. Then you got to get that little... A little puck. Cylinder of wood out of the bit.

It's so fucking irritating. The thing never comes out. You got to use your little Allen wrench to scoop it out of the hole. Why don't they have a thing in the top where you can poke the Allen or... wrench through the top and just poke it out. Great question. Why don't they do that?

We need to get with the Festool people on a premium wholesale that does that. That has a puck ejector. We might not ever get to do, hey, the greatest generation X fast service restaurant collaboration, but I think we can get, you know, a home repair, some kind of sponsorship with a, you know, a DeWalt or, you know, a DeWalt or, a Makita or a Festool. And Milwaukee? A Milwaukee? That would be... I know. It'd be nice.

We should be so lucky. Yeah. Back to jail for Sue. It's the ending before the ending. That's what made this scene so surprising. Like, that's not the ending. Yeah. Not at all.

Archer's log tells us that the Klingon High Council is getting them off the hook for what happened near that Klingon colony. And Sung is escorted into his new brig, His second brig of the day. Third brig of the day. That's right. His third brig of the day by Archer. And he's told that his work, you know, all those papers he had tacked up on the wall and his brig of five brigs ago?

Remember that first brig? We didn't get rid of that stuff. It's so hard to keep track of all these brigs at this point, you know? Well, what I'm trying to say is we've got a stack of papers we're going to give you in a banker's box. All that stuff still remains. You can still continue to do your work in here. At soon as, like, I think I picked the wrong track in terms of perfecting humanity. Maybe instead of flesh and blurred, I got to get into wires and capacitors.

Positrons. Yeah. Neuronets. Get into cybernetics. Maybe that'll be my life's work. And Archer's like, all right, good luck. thinking that we will never hear about this again. And Soong sits down and he starts drawing a man that looks just like him,

but with a bigger, more fully functional penis. A man who can't whistle. No matter how hard he tries. Did you like this episode, Adam? was an action-packed conclusion to this whole arc. It surprised me many times. Yeah. I mean, I was sure Malik's plan would fail because he was sort of a fail son in this whole experience. But the way he failed surprised me. Uh, just how bloodthirsty he became surprised me. I wish I liked purses more. Her playing all the sides of it in this, I sort of expected a, well, of anyone.

she will come out on the other side like for all of her her backroom dealing like she's going to make it work surprised that she didn't and kind of surprised that Tsung lived too to be honest

like the outcomes and consequences here made for a satisfying watch I thought it was good how about you a little behind the pod we uh this is like the first time we've recorded this show in a couple of weeks been grinding on other stuff and uh there was a little vacation time in there so like we watched the first two

episodes like in rapid succession and then took quite a long time off between those and watching this one i have to say i got right back into this and really enjoyed this episode but it took me like kind of a long time to remember, like, what Malik's deal was in watching this. I don't quite feel like it's in the performance. I feel like it might be in, like, the styling of the augments a little bit. I wanted him to feel bigger and scarier as a villain. And I read that the actor who played him is Scottish. And I was like, oh, man, if he'd had a Scottish accent, he would have stuck right in my memory, I think.

You know what bad guys often get? a fucking close-up and I don't feel like especially at the end when he's arming auto-destruct you don't get that rack into him during his final fuck you to enterprise that like the apex

predator tends to get nor do you get the expression on his face where you could possibly get the tip that this isn't his final strategy like maybe there's something else going on that would not completely surprise us when he showed

up on Enterprise later on, you know? Totally. And I don't know if they were like intentionally rounding off the rough edges of the character. But yeah, something about the like the mix of him having just kind of like a 90210, forgettable Americanness about him, his goth raver costume and his, you know, just like, I think he was a more interesting character on the page than wound up on the screen. I think you're right about that because I think the series of episodes takes for granted that you will just be on the side of the augments as sympathetic characters as, you know, people who didn't want this. They were brought into the world as these super soldiers and they're trying to find their way to a type of freedom for their way of life. I don't think this series of episodes should have assumed that. I think it should have bulked up that part a little bit more and

these more sympathetic characters because all you get is backbiting and double crossing and no sympathy really and what was the guy like regime or whatever that he killed like had a more soon like plan for them like let's go find a place where we can like build our own society yeah and not be persecuted for something that we didn't have any control over right and like that would have been so much more interesting if the way malick stood in opposition to that felt like really operatic in scope and scale. Yeah. So, yeah.

Yeah, like, I think a really interesting three-parter, but I just wish that that character had been developed a little bit more. I mean, when you've got a Brent Spiner playing a Sung character, it's hard to, yeah. It's something that glows very brightly. True. In this story. And I wonder, to what extent that would be impossible or very difficult to achieve,

no matter how much you gave to that mallet character. But I would have liked to have seen a little bit more effort in that. You're right. Well, do you want to see if any effort has been put into what is in the Priority One inbox, Adam? You know, it's always Max Ever, Ben. Tends to be. Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. You need a supplemental income.

Supplement. Supplement. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, Could be enough to buy this ship. Hey, promotional message here, Adam. Goes like this. Anybody!

Interested in actual books? Carybdis Press is an independent publisher showcasing a variety of works, including Fountains of Fantasy RPGs, Labyrinth Letter Games, and 21st Century Games, and A Thousand Stories. Each, with its own niche focus, within fantasy, science fiction, horror, and gaming genres.

Ben slash Adam. This is not my project that I wanted to promote my brother from another mother, Jason Blasso, who also has a dog. Thanks, Dr. Matt. So visit Caribnus Press.com. That's C-H-A-R-B-D-I-S-P-R-E-S dot com. That's from Dr. Matt Brunkey. We know Dr. Matt.

Dr. Matt, great friend of DeSoto, personal friend of mine, he and I chatted a few times during the end of my beloved dog Sprocket's life. I had a lot of questions about what was going on with his condition, and Dr. Matt was able to help me through a lot of those issues, and so I relied on him greatly, really, really good dude, and definitely appreciated. And also, you know, for that reason, you've got to check out this project. If Dr. Matt suggested it, got to get into it. Yeah, indeed. Charb, charib.

How did you say it? Charb... Charbid... Charg... Anglosor. Charbdispress? Yeah. Carib dispress, I think. That would be my guess. You know, Dr. Matt would never say this because he's trying to, like, pump up his brother here.

Look, why are you spelling things like this? Yeah, what's the fuck? You know, who knows? I'm glad you were on the read because you nailed it the first time. Caribdis is a dangerous whirlpool and a narrow channel of sea opposite the caves of the sea monster, Skylia. Caribdis press, C-H-A-R-Y-B-D-I-S. It's from Greek mythology, Adam.

That's why it's spelled like that. You can't criticize the Greeks for the way they spelled things. They invented democracy and shit. I could never criticize the Greeks. Ben, would never. Ben, we got a priority one message here of a personal nature. It is from, God fucking damn it. It's another one of these words I can't read.

Bjork, Bjork tribe? Bjorke tribe. And she who is my wife, but would not want to be named here. It is too. Ben Adam and FODs that think Archer had a rough start. Here's how that goes. Star Trek Enterprise was the gateway trek for she was my wife. I introduced it about 12 years ago, and all of the trek at the time was too old. So I started with the most modern.

And he does that like shrug emoji. Anyway, because of your hilarious disdain and constant frustration for season 1 and season 2, Archer, I must know is Enterprise a better show if you swap John Archer for John Crichton? Here's the thing. Hating on Archer in Enterprise is a thing to do while watching Enterprise. I think it makes the show more interesting. I don't think they give a lot of characters much story or backstory. Poor Mayweather's up there.

I don't even think he had a line of dialogue this episode. And he's in like many bridge scenes flying the ship around. I think the answer to the question is I don't think it's a better show unless you make John Crichton dark John Crichton. I feel like I don't want to see John Crichton if I'm not also seeing weird little puppet guys all around him, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's my take. Yeah. The last P-1 here is from Jacob or Jacob, and it's two, Ben and or, Oh, cool. You got a pronunciation key. Great. Goes like this. What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons. The filthiest popsicle stick joke of all time. That was weird as hell. I was going to say almost exactly the same thing. Finish each other's popsicle stick references. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Thank you for many years of Pod.

I've also really enjoyed the greatest newsletter, too. It's a great way to strengthen my parisocial relationship with the whole expert Shemota team. Y'all are the best. That's nice. Thank you, Yaakov or Jacob. Much appreciated. And thanks for the plug for the greatest newsletter.

I think more people should sign up for that. Ben, I obviously know how to subscribe to the newsletter and always have. But while I take this sip of water, maybe you could tell the FODs how one would get on that list. Oh, I think if you go to greatest trick.com, you can find a link to just about everything. And I think it's also very easy to sign up through podshop.biz. Absolutely. Well, we really appreciate everybody who left a nice P1 on the program today. If you'd like to join their ranks, head to maximum fun.org slash jumbotron. And set yours up today. Thanks. Hey, Ben. What's that, Adam?

You find yourself a drunk Shimoda. Incredible. Drunk Shimoda. Hmm. Feel like you were close. You started to say it. It's, hmm, Malik, isn't it? I can't give it to anybody but Richard Real, you know?

Oh! He was in this episode so little. Just covered in a blood-soaked lab coat? But I was so delighted by him, and especially the mental image we conjured of him being the one that leapt into action and climbed up the long ladder and then got rocketed into space. Come on, give me PlayStation 3 Richard Reel and a bloody lab coat getting shot into the hard vacuum. Very convincing. I was going to make mine Malik, but even the smallest dose of Richard Reel, you must reward it with a double Shemota, which is what he gets from us. Yeah, tremendous value for your reel.

Faith of the fart. We don't have any real squares on the game of buttholes. Will the Riker Quantum Leap, do we? The game that you can find at gach.biz slash game? It seems like we ought to. Maybe at such time as we take Quantum Leap off the board as the punishment, it can be like the bonus feed gets a real episode. I mean, here's what that square could be called, a real square for my real fans.

I thought Felipe would draw a great Richard Reel for this game. Oh, oh, put that in my veins. Yeah. We're on a doorstep of a morn hammered here on square 56 on the game. And I'll see. I'm going to tell you a little bit about season for episode seven, The Forge. That's English for Jordi's last name, actually. LeVar Burton, director of today's episode.

I don't know kidding. Summary is as follows. Earth's embassy on Vulcan is bombed. And the ensuing investigation puts Archer and DePaul on the trail of a Vulcan religious faction hiding in a treacherous desert. Hmm. All right. Are you sure they're not hiding in a treacherous dessert, like a giant king cake?

Oh, treacherous because you might accidentally swallow the baby. You follow. I like it. It feels like this entire episode has just been you and I returning something at Target. hmm you're required to learn as you play roll okay adam we could go anywhere i'm going to roll this bow wow i rolled an 89 chula did i win hardly monster roll putting us on square 45 regular episode next week it's weird that the last roll was an 89 was it two eighty-nines in a row what are the chances it's almost like one in a hundred.

Crazy. Don't know what it means. Or is it different than that because it's twice? Who knows? How do statistics work, Adam? I feel like over the years my laugh has gone from totally imperceptible on audio to like the breathy, wheezy pack of cigarettes laugh that... Oh, well, you've been sick.

Who's that cartoon cat that laughs like that? That's how I'm laughing lately. Oh, man. I don't know who that cartoon cat is. Wendy, you'll drop that in. I bet she knows. Well, looking forward to next week. Speaking of Wendy, we've got to thank her for her Herkulean effort,

editing this into something that makes some sense and getting it to you on time every week. Thank you, Wendy. We've got to thank the Friends of DeZoto, who support the program. You can join them by going to maximum fun.org slash join and becoming a member. You'll get a monthly bonus episode. You know, you'll have a good feeling.

Yeah, I mean, this being the holiday season, if you're already a supporter, and there's an FOD in your life who isn't, you can always sign them up for a gift membership. Gift membership is good. Yeah. We've got to thank Adam Ragusea, who made our original parody theme song. We've got to thank Bill Tilly and our peacetime conigliari, making me hilarious. trading cards that you find on the At Greatest Trek Social Media accounts. Follow those.

They are run by the great Rob Adler who makes funny video clips to share with your friends and also edits the greatest newsletter which has a growing circulation.

One of the biggest Star Trek themed newsletters out there. Probably not. Has to be. Yeah. But yeah, sign up for that. It's great. There's something special from one of us on the Uxbridge Shemota team every time.

It's great. Yeah. Gratestrek.com to find all that stuff and with that we'll be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise where we are caught in a treacherous dessert.

Boy, does it make our belly hurt. Hmm? Make it so. Maximum Picard of a U.S. Make it so. Make it so. John Rupaccata, Codda, Codda.

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