The Greatest Generation - Level 69 (S2E20)

Episode Date: June 29, 2016

When unfrozen caveman Klingons are about to thaw out in a nice suburban neighborhood, Starfleet sends their sexiest emissary to try to talk Picard into a murder-based solution to the problem. Tensions rise when Worf can’t keep his cool around his lab partner, but Troi has some zit popping videos on her iPad that help everyone calm down. Is Data the ship’s best cock-blocker? Is K’Ehleyr going to get picked in The Bachelor? Is Worf a cigar store Indian? It’s the episode in which we try to get CBS to jerk our udders.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison.

I'm Adam Pryanaka. Welcome to the show Adam. So great of you to make it. Thanks. Thanks for that. Were you thinking about starting without me? I had a thought about our... So we're obviously recording this a little bit in the future of when it goes out and I don't think that's a secret to anybody.

But as yet, we have not heard peep out of the Star Trek Writer's Room, Twitter account, or anybody from CBS about joining the writing staff of the new Star Trek series that's coming out in 2017. Are you surprised? Well, I mean, frankly, a little bit, given the siege that our listeners have kindly laid against them. Everyone's been blocked. I'm sure we've been blocked too. Yeah, by now, I mean to anybody's guess. But one thing I thought I had is that we don't really have any network writing credits

to our names. And well, I think... Speak for yourself. I wrote four episodes of Bluebloods. Season one. I walked my dog past the blue blood set four times the other day because it is literally two blocks from my house. Oh, fun.

Have you run into Selik? I have not run into Selik, but my friend is in the costuming union, and she worked on that show for a season and when it was over she said, hey this sweater was Celix in the show and we're getting rid of it, do you want it? Shut the fuck up! Ralph Lauren's sweater and I totally inherited a Celix sweater.

You got a Celix sweater. Yeah. Oh man. It's a real thing of beauty, It's one of my prized possessions. Oh, that is awesome. Yeah. But anyways, the idea I had is every show these days has their like, their talking dead,

their recap show afterwards, right? Right. The like talk show format show that happens after the show. The show after the show. We're perfect for that, Adam. Yeah, we are. We'll bring our, we'll bring our signature good nature, snarkiness. And I mean, I wouldn't even call it snarkiness so much as just like,

we'd give it a good ribbon and, and we'd celebrate it at the same time. The way we do Star Trek, the next generation. The show would be ribbed for everyone's pleasure. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Dude, I think this is a great idea. I think we would be better suited to that than writing the show. And that way we get to stroke our egos

by having our mugs on camera and everything too. You know what, Ben? Fuck it, let's do it anyway. Like, let's do an after show anyway. But... Whether, like, if they don't authorize it, we just... We just do it. Let's just fucking do it.

Oh man. Look, let's hold back a little bit. Like, maybe we will, maybe we won't, and maybe if they want to pay us to do it, that'd be cool. I just don't want them to feel like they don't have to buy the cow to get this yummy, yummy milk. Oh yeah, they got to jerk these udders. If you think to get that milk out, that's for sure. So that's the new idea. I mean, like don't stop telling them you want us to be writers,

fair listener, because that tickles us, pink every time. Sure, that's called negotiating. You negotiate ahead of the position that you'll actually accept. Yeah. That's called leverage. Right. Right. So dressing for the job you want, not the one you have. So what we want is to be on the studio lot of paramount or CBS. What will accept is a basement in Tarzanah?

Oh, I can arrange a basement in Tarzanah. I believe it. All right. That sounds great. Do we need a hashtag for that? Hashtag Ben and Adam for Recap Show? I don't know. That is way too much.

Like, all these shows have for recap show. I don't know. That is way too much. Yeah, like all these shows have these recap shows You got your you got your after the dead your what is that the walking dead after show the talking dead? I think it's what it's called right you get the talking dead. You've got your after the throne Which is the game of Thrones post show you got your blue balls, which is the blue bloods after show. Yeah. Everyone's very excited about that show. Mm-hmm. I just think that I think we'd bring a unique level of goofiness and love to that to that type of enterprise. Much like we do to start track the next generation See I see I'm close to the circle now on this yeah, I see exactly what this is everything up until now Has led us to this point. This is our resume. Yep. This is our CV curriculum Vita

Curriculum vulgaris Curriculum Volgaris. Curriculum Vierilins. Let's begin season 2, episode 20, emissary. Let us begin it, the correct way Adam. Oh, someone's got some podcast fluid. Let us begin it the correct way Adam. Oh Someone's got some podcast fluid This episode was very cling on the bachelor, wasn't it? Yeah, I suppose it was I guess it would have been nice to see worth in a tuxedo, but Girl can only dream. What do you think a cling on rose looks like? Probably more about the thorns and less about the bloom if I had to guess.

Well put. So the episode starts off with the ship cruising to mediated dispute. Well it starts off with a poker game. Oh shit. Yeah I got ahead of myself. So the episode starts with our second poker scene of the series, which is super fun. Yep, it's a pretty classic collection. I think it's uh... Yeah, I think it's the same poker group as the one, the first time we saw a poker scene. Except data isn't wearing a stupid hat.

Yeah, he's not wearing his 1950s accountant hat. Right. Yeah, he's not wearing his 1950s accountant hat. Right. Yeah, and I mean, like they do have to toss in the perfunctory data. It doesn't get an idiom line where he says that he bends his cards. Right. And so no data you fold your cards. Data would not understand rap music if he didn't get idioms. Yeah, oh man data listening to a Talib qualiverse is just like it'll put his neural net into a real funk.

Yeah, he totally shit his pants on that record. They're all trying to enjoy this game and Data is being really condescending to wharf and playing that Wharf doesn't know that the fuck he's doing. We get as far as I'm concerned, as much confirmation as we're ever going to need that Polesky and Wharf banged, based on how they interact.

And then we get... You can't see their feet underneath the table, but I think you can guess there's some foot action happening under there. Looks like it's just us, handsome. I'll see. I sometimes wonder, because we sometimes make jokes on this show that we came up with ourselves,

but then somebody will send us some meme or YouTube or something where somebody makes a kind of gets at a similar comedic premise to us. And I wonder if anybody has come up with the fact that Polesky and Worf definitely banged. You know how we use the Baker Street drop for Wesley? Wesley. The boy.

The boy. Young Wesley, Crusher. My son. Ha, ha. I think we should use like some Glenn Miller song for Polesky and her love interest. You're gonna have to pick that out Adam because that's an area of music that is very obscure to me.

I can do that. So anyways, they get this emergency message that breaks up the game, but Warf has put himself in a commanding lead in terms of scarves. They run up to the bridge and they're being ordered to head to a just kind of a generic set of coordinates that don't you know they don't know what they're going for or anything but it's like a big starfleet priority that they get there and as they're there, they get FaceTime from a nice old lady in an admiral uniform, which is like a totally different admiral

uniform than the ones we've seen so far, but she informs them that they're going to be meeting an emissary from the federation who's going to brief them on their mission and It's like this is like a matter of top security so Yeah, it's pretty tense. Yeah, they give the ship a set of coordinates They're like go meet your emissary at this spot in the galaxy and it's just out in the middle of nowhere Yeah, and so you know, they're trying to like kind of backtrack what this could be, you know, that they're like, it's kind of near a sector that's been recently colonized,

but it's not actually in that sector. It doesn't really seem to be anything there. They were not picking up any ships on long range or anything, so we don't know what the fuck is going on. But eventually they get the message that the MSR is being transported in essentially a torpedo tube that can travel at warp nine and they've taken out the like, you know.

The bomb part. Right, they've taken out the guts, you know. The bomb part. Right, they've taken out the guts and put in like a bed, like a military cot and a- It's a super efficient way to travel, but like, have you ever gone on a business trip and gotten like the last rental car on the lot? That kind of seems like the situation here, like, not ideal. Yeah, so they pulled this maneuver where they sort of like pull in alongside this probe,

grab it in a tractor beam, and then they beam the entire probe onto the transporter pad. And it's like, it's a little bit like thawing, Hans carbonate out. Ooh, they've encased him at carbonite. He should be quite well protected if he survived the freezing process that is. There's like a little bit of a procedure toward getting, to getting this thing open and getting its inhabitants out. And the first we see of the inhabitant

is just like a crazy space mask that has no no opening for the eyes. It's real creepy looking. Yeah, she's wearing like a scuba mask. Basically, like a re-breather. Like a bondage scuba mask. Oh yeah, that's that's why it's familiar to me. Yeah, scuba game, Adam, you know. It is a crazy, strange, romantic, reading-based. Are you not finding within yourself to stand up, tell the truth? You don't deserve the wealth that you never bought.

But they pull it off, and it is a very lovely Klingon woman. And Riker is like, already smooth-talking her with Klingon. Like, he does not skip a beat. Riker's like, hey, are you Susie Plakston? You look like that hot Vulcan doctor from the Skitzoid Man. Yeah, that was in this same season. Yeah, exactly.

So the recycling scripts and the recycling guest stars. It's great. Yeah. I mean, maybe they felt bad about how much sexism got just dumped on that poor woman's head in that Skitzoid man episode and they were like, all right, we'll have you back. We'll give you a, we'll give you an actual juicy part. As an actor, I think that's kind of cool. Like, she didn't have much to do in Skitzoid man and they saw her chops and we're like, Hey, let's bring you back and put some shit on your forehead. Yeah, you got a little something called it. You got a little something called

a lot of room on your forehead to put some shit. That's what it is in Star Trek parlance and casting. I'm thinking I wondered looking at the Klingons in this episode is that I think we know as people who have been around special effects makeup that that is like foam essentially it's like latex foam that that stuff is made out of but I wonder what it's what the texture of it is supposed to be, you know, if, if klingons were real, because that's supposed to be like real hard surface, or is it supposed to be kind of soft?

Oh, like, like if it's bone and skull, or if it's cartilage, like a, like an ear? Because if it's like, I mean, if it's like my forehead where there's basically like a layer of skin over bone. A lot of bone. That's where like, that's where like some bleeding happens, you know, like if you, if you got a cut there, that should bleed like a motherfucker.

Hmm. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, has anyone ever been stabbed in the forehead on the show? Any, any, Klingon? At all, I think I'd like to see that. It's like one of those cyst videos on YouTube. You stab a, you stab a Kling on in the forehead, it's just pus.

Yeah, if anybody's into that, there's another subreddit called reddit.r.popping and boy howdy is that a stomach churning couple of hours that you can spend on the internet. Ugh, I don't wanna click through your reddit history, a stomach churning couple of hours that you can spend on the internet. Ugh. I don't want to, I don't want to click through your Reddit history, my friend. Oh, I always turn, I always turn on private browsing when I go to that site. Well played.

Yeah. So... My wife knowing that I watch zit popping videos on the internet. I don't want my wife to know I watch zip popping videos during. Why are you on your phone? Shut up! I'm almost there! So Riker takes her hand and lifts her to her feet and we get to meet Kalar, the half human, half-cling-on emissary that's been sent to the ship. And...

She talks about the fact that she's half-cling-on the way that I feel like a lot of white people talk about the fact that they're part Native American. Yeah. Like Kalar should be wearing a fringed suede jacket. Yeah, and I'm one 34th seminal. K-lar goes out of her way to say that very specifically, her dad was a Klingon, and her mom was a human. Which to me is like the sexual equivalent of telling someone that Shaqiloneal is your dad, and your mom was like Betty White.

Like, like, I don't think it works the other way. Like, if it's Klingon's going on woman in a human male, unless that human male is riker. Yeah, my dad is a Tibetan master for my mom, is a Chihuahua. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Ugh, it just seems very disturbing sexually.

Yeah. Well, we don't know, like, I mean, it might have been that the that the Klingon guy was kind of kinked out in a human-ish way. Oh, yeah, maybe his thing was human. Yeah. Anyway, I feel like she's an interesting character and she definitely gets her teeth from her mom. Did you notice that? Yeah, she's a nice set of choppers. You don't want to get cursed with Klingon teeth if you're half human, half Klingon. Obviously, impossible to floss based on every other Klingon we've seen.

Your bite guard is going to be fucked up if you get those Klingon teeth. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm gonna type a ramble on about something everyone knows. She and Troy hit it off pretty quickly. And I feel like this is as much as it's a wharf episode, I feel like it's kind of a Troy episode too. That's fair. We get a lot of Troy character development in this, like more than in a Troy's mom episode even because Troy is just kind of one note annoyed with her mother in Troy's mom episodes. And this she's like talking to a character that has some kind of similar... They're both by racial.

Right. So they both have, you know, feet in two worlds and they have an interesting conversation about that. One of them has a weird forehead. One of them's wearing dark contact lenses. They're both in the popping videos. Here, let's pull something up on this pad. This is a standard psycho valuation I do with any MS area that comes aboard the ship. How does this make you feel? So K. Lara gives him a briefing about why she's there. And the deal is, there's a ship full of unfrozen caveman klingons that are that are on a ship and they're headed towards federation territory and they're about to be woken up. And if they wake up, they're not woke yet,

but they're pretty sure they're shook. Yes. I mean, and you don't want somebody to be shook woke. Friends, Ben right now is addressing the teenagers in our audience. And the twin-agers. So shit's gonna go down if these klingons wake up because they think it's 40 years ago and they think they're still at war with

Federation they are like Japanese officers marooned on a small Pacific Island You know 30 years later thinking that World War II is still raging right and And that they like need to do the Emperor's bidding and so and that they like need to do the Emperor's bidding. And so this wouldn't really be a problem, except for there aren't any Klingon ships close enough to meet up with these guys and give them the bad news about the war being over, before they will traverse this newly populated portion

of Federation space, which they were talking about earlier. And if these Klingons see all of these defenseless settlements, they're gonna consider that a target rich environment and light them up, and that'll be a catastrophe. You know what I'm saying? And Kilar is like, look, this is gonna be super easy. We're just gonna go intercept the ship and blow the shit out of them.

Like, it's not gonna be an issue. We'll just destroy the ship. And Picard immediately is him. Like, it's not gonna be an issue, we'll just destroy the ship. And Picard immediately is like, whoa, that seems a little aggressive. Whoa! Like, I don't know, maybe there's a plan B, we can come up with, hey, Wharf, why don't you work with Kalar and come up with an alternate,

an alternate plan. And Wharf is not down with this at all. Wharf totally loses his cool. I mean, like, he starts this briefing completely losing his cool. Like, completely drops any pretensive professionalism when she walks in. Aren't you going to greet me?

I have nothing to say to you. And then just sits there grumbling through the whole fucking meeting. They all leave and Picard is like, Warf, what the fuck is up your ass? And he's like, oh, sorry, I'll do the work. I'm sorry. Worse the kid in high school chemistry,

you get stuck with like a lab partner that he hates and he just can't bear, he can't bear to work with her. And we soon find out it's because they had a relationship together because the next scene, they're trying to work on their plan B, which is like One of the stupidest sets I think we've seen in all of season two like the first time they came up with a bad Science lab set. Yeah, it's real bad and I think part of it is that it's super well lit like all the other science labs are pretty dark and and cool looking but this is like super hot.

There's like, it looks like a, like a, like an internet jukebox in the corner that war flocks up to and hits buttons on. Yeah, he kind of, he's kind of making a riker leaning wall out of this, out of this jukebox. And the exposition in this scene is like, KLR is like, hey, you know, I haven't forgotten about that time that we banged. And Warp is like, I kind of have, I've moved on almost completely. I mean, and this is a hard ruse for him to keep up because we should say that she shows up to work in like the sexiest possible clothes.

She's in like a form-fitting one-piece, shiny red sex outfit. Do you remember the Spider Woman comic book of like less than a year ago? They got a whole bunch of shit because it really sexualized the character of Spider Woman on it? I don't know if you're into comic culture. I don't keep up with it. No. Anyways, she is dressed as Spider Woman. And it works for her.

I think that basically in this episode, if we had to chart out the sexiness of K. Lars costume, it's like a bell curve. Like at the beginning, it's like medium sexiness. Is it a double bell curve, I think, would be more accurate? Well, it goes up and then it goes back down. It's at the beginning, it's medium sexy. Then this scene, it's like mega sexy. Then the next outfit she puts on is like impossible sexy.

Then she goes back to the red outfit toward the middle end and then she's back in what she showed up with by the end of the episode. Right. Right. And I mean, I love me some Susie Plaxen, but she plays this pretty broad. Like she's as in your face as her, her costuming in this scene and they get into a huge fight. Like they do that escalating the tension scene where they go line for line and they get closer and closer. And then eventually they're just like yelling at each other's faces.

You think they're gonna kiss, but she turns away and walks out the room. It really looked like they were about to just get down right there in the science lab. But yeah, she walks away and she goes and finds any room that she possibly can that has a glass table Because all she wants to do is karate chop a big slab of glass the glass furniture budget in season two is enormous I mean yeah like every time you see one of them

You're just like that fucking thing is doomed. I mean you know you know they're doing a couple takes too So it's not just one. Yeah. Like, Susie, can you give us a little bit more pathos when you chop through that table with your bare hand? Yeah, and you know when they block the scene with the camera shooting through the table, that table did. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It isn't long after this that Kalar does a thing that everyone seems to do lately, which is burn off some steam on the holodeck.

She rolls up to the holodeck and she's rousing the possible programs and comes across one of Worf's programs. And this is her mega sex costume option. Right, right. It's only gotten more sexy for her. And Worf's program is called Calistinics, which I think is great. It's like calling when a Rikers program is Mormon from night.

Like it's just totally under cells. It's actually happening in there. Yeah, so she goes in and it is the program with which we are familiar. I think this is like the first or second episode of this season. Yeah. And the first or second episode of this season, what Woffan Riker were going head to head with some creepy monsters in here. And as soon as Kayla walks into the holiday, she pulls on the power glove.

Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, and she has a pretty good combat scene and Woff finds up kind of coming and finding her. And he watches her finish off the last guy and she's like this is kind of uh... this is kind of a kind of a lightweight calisthenics program you have your warf

yeah this pretty weak shit guy yeah and he goes and picks up some uh... some swords and has a great line of computer increased to level 69. Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah, that's basically where they head because they get invigorated by all the violence and then they do what they came to do. Which is smelly chethers fingers.

Ha ha ha ha! I think they got the order all wrong. Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah, I mean one thing that this scene makes very clear is that Michael Doran was getting some pretty pro manicures while he was playing this character. Yeah, part of Klingon's four play is like

taking the other person's hand and squeezing it shut with your hand on the outside until it bleeds. Until you bleed your own blood. Yeah. I have a Star Trek canon question for you, Adam. Shoot. Undiscovered country, one of my favorite of the Star Trek films. I know.

There's a scene where a bunch of klingons get blasted in zero G and there's like CG purple blood floating around. And it's the only time I can think of where klingons are depicted as having purple blood. Well, that Vulcans have green blood, but why are they have normal stage blood in this scene? Well, I think you've hit on a pretty significant continuity error. If any of our listeners have an answer to this question, I'd encourage you to wrap it around a can of soup and send it to Ted Cruz.

I really appreciate that. Yeah, I mean, it could just be an atmospheric thing too. Like human blood is supposed to be blue, right? If it's not exposed to the atmosphere, maybe that's the same with klingons. Oh, there's like different gases in the air on a klingonship. Oh, I'm sure there's plenty of gas in the air.

I can't even ship. That's a, that's good head cannon at them. I really like that. Head cannon. Is that what we're calling it? Yeah, that's like when you kind of like have to get there yourself. It's never explained properly. Oh, okay.

I get that. I thought, I thought you were, uh, you were describing a sex position that, uh, that Kailar and Wurf were going to get that. I thought you were describing a sex position that Kayla and Wurf were going to get to after this holiday session, because it gets pretty hot and heavy. Yeah, and when they're done. Yeah, so at the end of the scene, like the scene kind of goes on for another beat

because Wurf proposes marriage to her. Like, on the spot. He didn't really, he didn't even really propose. He just starts like yelling shit at the ceiling and she's like no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop. I don't want to be married to you. And he's like, but we are married. And I guess in Klingon culture, if you bang, that's it.

Yeah. A Warp is sort of a save it for marriage type of guy. And now that they got that out of the way, I guess it's on. I never saw the promise running on his finger, but I guess it must be on there. Like, if you were to translate what Wurf is screaming it out to himself, he's like, do you, Kailer, take the wharf to be your lawfully wedded husband? Like to have him to hold for richer or poorer in sickness and in health. Yeah, yeah, and she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Shut up, shut up, shut up, don't even say it.

Like I'm not in. All those creepy monsters are like getting Havana Nagila queued up on the boom box and getting a chair so they can come over and raise them up over their heads. They stand up out of their pool of blood, dust themselves off, and like straighten their bow tie. Hey Skull Guy, yeah, creepy turtle man. Skull Guy does that thing where he pads down his pockets looking for the ring.

That just kills it every wedding. Little turtle guys, the flower girl, we could go on. Vagina faced bug Man is a drunken, if I'm a man's speech, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, sure, yeah, that place. Anyways, they get in a big argument because she really doesn't live by the kind of codes of Klingon honor that Worf does.

She picks and chooses. She's a, what does that? What is it called? She's a cafeteria Catholic of... Right. ...of Klingon beliefs. Yeah, and she's also like... Mostly, I mean, I think she's like the kind of person that understands that you should know how to fuck

and who you want to fuck by getting some experience before you lock your shit down in holy matrimony. Yeah, I don't get the feeling that Wurf is very sexually experienced, huh? It's I think that this is his first sexual experience. I think we just saw Wurf lose his virginity. Oh shit. Yeah, like that's the implication, right? Like when you fuck. Yeah, I guess so. And he, I mean, he said, he said from the jump that... I mean, he's going on for Janet. We know that he banged Polasky. Right. Right.

I mean, like, Polasky is a shickseh. Like, this is marriage material. K-lar's the girl you introduced to Mom and Dad. Right. Right. They kind of end this in a poopy fight and do not resolve their dispute in this scene. They appear to be at an impasse. Back on the bridge, this this Klingon ship is coming in hot and Kailar kind of talks them

through the scenarios and she's like, okay, like if they're still frozen when we find them, we can beam on board and stop the automatic thought process and we can just wait until a cling on ship can come and deal with these idiots. But if they are not thought out, we're basically going to have to deal with a potential combat situation. We've got to euthanize these guys. Right. And like, you know, the Klingon logic here is pretty easy. Like, nobody's going to be pissed on the Klingon home world if the enterprise does what KLR

is advocating, which is just blow them out of the sky. You think? No, because they're going to be like, yep, like they died honorably. Oh, yeah. Good honor. No, because they're gonna be like, yep, like they died honorably. Oh yeah, yes so. Yeah. She's totally thinking with both sides of her brain, but Picard is like never willing to extend that kind of, like he does, he has his own morality in which he is very self-assured.

And so he's not, he's not gonna endorse a tactic that is unnecessarily, unnecessarily violent. And so what they decide on is Worf and Kaelar get all gussied up in, in, in, in, in, in Klingon, Brighalia. Yeah, yeah, and Worf like, Worf Lake really puts on an awesome lean on this chair. Like, he makes Riker's Man Spread look like Picard's Man Spread when he sits down in the captain's chair. Klingon Man Spread has Pimentos in it. Yeah, delicious on toast. And they start getting shot at by the Klingon cruiser and they get them on FaceTime and basically, you know, just big dog them into shutting up and sitting down and taking it

easy until the other Klingonship can show up and sort things out. Yeah, the story they tell is like, look, there's peace between the Klingons and the Federation. Look at me, I'm a fucking Klingon and I'm commanding a Federation ship. Like, what more proof do you need? Yeah. Like, how out of place does this look?

Yeah. It looks pretty out of place, is the answer. I fell and submised and later got thought out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me. Yeah, you sort of wish they could have, like, you know, had a hollow projector on the bridge and put some other cling on personnel, peppered around the other stations, but it's just a bunch of like skinny humans in there, in their pajamas. Yeah, the contrast is pretty hilarious.

Yeah, so it does take a little while for the Klingon Captain to agree to this. Did you ever feel like the Enterprise was in danger from the Tongues attack? No, I think that the weapons are so old that they're just not even really... They gave them a couple of mini bangers. Yeah, there were some bangers, but they kept saying the shields were holding. I feel like this is one of the big types of Klingon ships. It's not the bird of prey. It's the battle cruiser.

I feel like if the Enterprise gets a scrap with a Klingon cruiser, it's gonna have some fucking trouble, you know? Yeah, I mean, I was wondering if the enterprise could ever accidentally destroy it, given its relative age. Yeah, yeah, it's gotta be kind of an antique, right? Right. They, yeah.

I mean, it's a good thing that the enterprise's record, again, super old Klingon ships is totally untarnished. Like, there's no possible way that an old Klingon ship could ever destroy the enterprise. I think that is something that we can guarantee at this point. That's a good point, Adam. But before we move on to the final scene, I do wanna make the point that the, I think the Klingons on the bridge of the Klingon ship are like perfectly cast and costumed in this scene.

Like they look like Klingon hillbillies that are coming off of a 75 year meth bender. Like they look so fucked up. I think it's because they got like real gaunt faced white guys in the Klingon makeup. And I don't know, it was just real effective for me. Like I was like, man, those guys do look like they've been frozen and out in deep space for a long time.

For some reason. You can tell they've got the old FaceTime too without the wide angle camera because the other two guys really hug in close Yeah, the captain It's in the frame. It's before they put an HD camera on the front facing. Yeah So the button on the episode is So the button on the episode is, uh, Kalar has got a beam over to the ship and just sort of complete her mission on, on like onboarding this crew of Klingons to the idea that they're

40 years into the future and things aren't quite what they remember in terms of Federation Klingon relations. And so, Warf Kaelar roll into the transportor room and Warf is like, beaded, O'Brien. I'm gonna do this on myself. Yeah. And they have kind of a touching moment here, you know. She says that like she was actually pretty tempted to get married to him. And Warf totally Jerry McGlyers her. to him and... Warf totally Jerry McLeyer's, sir. Yeah, like, I think her concern

when he started yelling at the ceiling about Boruhatad and I and all that was... Warf was doing it because he was supposed to and not because he loved her. And I think Warf really did love her. Yeah. And I think Warf really did love her. And I think that he really like

transmitted that fact to her effectively in this scene and it was kind of touching. I think it's interesting that in clean-on culture you yell things at the sky when you want to marry someone and then you also yell things at the sky when someone dies. I think I think the relationship with those two is be similar to how it is in human culture. Yeah, I mean it's Kraya to let the dead know you scored a hot babe. Yeah, or your life is over. Yeah. Yeah. That went dark. I'm sorry.

How are things going for you, Ben? Things good? A little bummed up. I just recorded an episode of my...well, it's a podcast. I don't want to tell you what it's about. You'll just think it's dumb. It's usually fun, but uh. Yeah, and that's the end of the episode.

Kind of went on a little bit of a down note. I like this episode though. I mean, I think that, uh, like a lot of Star Trek episodes to deal with love and romance, I'm often baffled by the kind of retrograde understanding of how that's supposed to work. That's evident in this old show, you know, from 30 years ago. But all in all, I enjoyed myself watching it. And I thought the plot was pretty fun. And there's a couple of obvious holes, but overall it moves and it's not an insane trash fire

like some of the recent episodes. This might seem good compared to the other shit that we have just recently watched. So I don't know. Yeah, I mean, we might be getting some proximity by us to the episodes that came before. I think it just proves again, like when you give Warp's character something to do, he's a really interesting guy.

And you know, like 9 out of 10 episodes, he's like the cigar store Indian of the storyline and he's just like there. And I was really sad to see K-lar go. Like I know she's going to be back for a couple of episodes as I recall, but like, man, if she was more of a regular, a featured player in the cast, I think it would just be a lot better for, for warfs character development, but also like in terms of entertainment

value, I thought she and Wharf together were great. Well, in Troy as well, like Troy has also really not gotten much caretaker development. Yeah, what did she have to do? She doesn't have a friend since Yard died and it seemed like this was the first friend that she's made in a long time. Right, and like this is like the first time we see what a great counselor Troy is, like she starts kind of talking to KLR in a semi professional tone after they've already kind of been friendly with each other because KLR comes out of one of these arguments.

You can tell if she wants to go to ancestry.com with her right away. And then she just sort of chills out on that idea. Yeah, I mean, like KLR is pissed because of this confrontation she's had with Worf and catches Troy like trying to counselor and she's like no no no no no no and and Troy suggests the holodeck and you can tell that like like that's that's some like psychologist jujitsu that Troy just pulled on you know yeah yeah

and I thought that was great like this is like the first time I can remember like really seeing Troy as good at her profession in a way that we can see. It was really economical in terms of that character development too. I don't think Troy was on screen very long at all, but in terms of character density, it was a lot there. Yeah, and she's not just there to be, you know, exposition about somebody lying or whatever. She's just like there to like actually be a three-dimensional person. Yeah, they really did a lot of things right with this episode.

Dommok. Angela. And... Danaga. A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre- and post-show hangs,

to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it! The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.

We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Camille Non-Giani. I've come back with Cat Toothbrushes, which is impossible to use.

Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open, just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, rats, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I?

These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short neck. But I'm hearing we need to get on this off. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans, but we're actually, we're podcasters.

We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boat. We came to by two. What do you think?

Ono Ross and Carrie, available on MaximumFun.org. Were there any other scenes you wanted to talk about? Yeah, there's one last scene I did want to talk about. Let's just, I think one of the later scenes in the science room when Worf shows up to do some kind of like mop up on the plan with KLR and he brings data and data winds up just kind of being like third wheel to their further lover squirrel.

This is like the second straight episode where data is used as a cock blocker. It's amazing how often he winds up playing that role. He's like, he's got this perfect fly on the wall view on on a mammal mating strategies. Yeah, he has absolutely no self-awareness for For being used in that way. He's just interested in people. Yeah, you would think after a little while I'd be like, uh, wharf. I don't know if I do want to go down to the fucking science lab with you and your girlfriend She seems pissed right now Yeah, between between that lack of self-awareness and him just sticking his appendages into things.

Like, he's not very street wise, is he? No. No. Hey, Ben. What's that, Adam? Did you find a drunk Shimoda in this episode? Drunk Shimoda! I did.

I had to give it a war for completely losing his cool in the meeting at the beginning. Wurf has a long history on this show of being a hothead, but he's usually a hothead in circumstances that merit it at all. Like, he is so unprofessional in this meeting. Like, he doesn't, and he doesn't even acknowledge it. Like, I can't even imagine being like, well, let's get the meeting started. The way for Card-D. Yeah, especially when the admiral is like,

Captain Picard, you are ordered to eat this woman's shit. Like, like whatever she says goes, you've got to fulfill this mission. And I guess Wurf isn't under that same order because she, because Wurf is just a total dick to her the entire time. Yeah, and really just doesn't keep us cool in a way that I felt was very Shimoto-like.

Yeah. And we should say, Jim Shimoto is our favorite character from episode two of the series, and he gets real drunk, and we like that, so we named an award after him. Yeah, we always think about Jim Shimoda every episode. I also found Worf to be my drunk Shimoda but for a completely separate event. Okay. So Worf's big plan is that instead of blowing this Kling on ship out of the sky, they're gonna dress up as clingons and pretend that he's the captain and Kailer's

the first officer of the Enterprise. Right. Did you think like actually transferring command to him was necessary because that's what happened. Like he does the thing, he convinces the tongue that he's the captain of the Enterprise, and it's all good. And then, they end communications and Picard

and Ryker come out of the ready room, they're like, hey, great job on your first command. Warf is like, great, I transferred command back to you, captain. Like, that wasn't necessary at all. I can only imagine that Warf knew it wasn't necessary and somehow convinced the captain that like to help him get into character that was the only way he was going to be able to do it. Like, look man, you got to give me the command codes. You got to make me captain.

It's the only way this thing is going to work. And card for some reason is like, yeah, go ahead. So the idea of W worth asking for a command of the ship and getting it, I think, is a totally truck Shimoda move. I think I might give little half Shimoda to Picard for actually allowing that to happen. That didn't make sense at all to me. Because he didn't have to be captain to pull that off. Good times.

Fair enough. What do we have coming up on the next episode? Next episode is season two, episode 21, peak performance. A simulated war game turns deadly when the crew is ambushed by a Firingi battleship. Do you remember this episode Adam? This is where they put Riker in a Jolopy, right, to fight the Enterprise, and then the Firingi think that that's a pretty weird scene and they decide to stick their giant ears into it. Yeah, and I think this is also the one where data and a weird alien are like playing some video game against each other where they put their fingers in like in those like automatic milking

machines that they put on cow-utters and like wave them around. See that part I don't remember. You don't remember the weirdest parts, Ben. I just remember the like, the stuff that, that you remember the weird friendship that I am today. You remember the weird friendship cordy and that looked like jerking off bongs.

And you remember the cow milker video game. Yeah, I think I remember more about this one than most other early season episodes. I'm kind of excited to see this one again. Yeah, I think I remember more about this one than most other early season episodes. I'm kind of excited to see this one again. Yeah, me too. So what we have to do now is say our good nights and good luck to everybody. I promise that we will get back to opening Star Trek trading cards, probably next episode or so. No good explanation for why we've taken such a long break from that other than we had other stuff we wanted to talk about.

But don't worry, you can find us on Twitter using the hashtag greatestgen. I'm at Benjamin AHR and Adam is at Cut for Time. We have a relic and good time all week every week using the hashtag greatest gen talking to people about show on Twitter. You can also go to Reddit. The maximum fun Reddit is slash r slash maximum fun and the greatest gen one is slash r slash greatest gen. One of those is for good behavior. One of those is for bad behavior. I think you know which is which.

You know which is which. We're still running our contest, Jim Shimoda plus contest at gmail.com. Just take a pick of your five star iTunes review. Send it to us and there's two ways you can win a t-shirt. Funniest review is gonna be one reward and random selection is going to be the other reward. So, I mean, I think the good game theory

is just right, the funniest one you can, because you put yourself high in the ranking for one and you still got a chance at the other. I'm not against something that's ultra complimentary to win that. I mean, not against that. Also, Ben, shout out the email address because you, I think you made it, you gave the subject line as the email address on that. Like Jim Shimoda plus contest at gmail.com.

Oh, really? So that is a totally separate email address that people are using. That's not a subject client thing. No, no, no. So the email address, you can add a plus on a Gmail and then they'll put it in a special box. Well, I've been misinterpreting that from the start.

I thought that was a subject line thing to do. Okay, cool. Yeah. So, so I may need to get so I doubt any of our listeners was mistaken as I have been. Yeah, well, I'll I'll stay up all night wondering about that now. Please enter these episodes, right? Yeah, we're trying to get to 500 iTunes reviews and we really appreciate all the great ones. So if you've already written one, you are just as eligible for this contest as anybody.

It's not just one shirt. Like once we get to 500, we are just going to make the one shirt and stop. I mean, initially we're going to make the one shirt, but 500 is the threshold at which we can start producing fun merch. So, that's pretty big for us. It's gonna be great. We should thank Dark Materia for our music.

What fun, it is to listen to that music. I like get it stuck in my head all the time. It's a banger. It is a banger. Makes that ship rock. You might want to listen to that in the bedroom more than watching popping videos. Really, put you up all in the top.

That's a deep cut right there. Do we have any other business we need to attend to? I think we're done here. Yeah, I think we've done all we can. It's been fun talking about this episode. I look forward to talking about the next episode of Star Trek, the next generation with you on our next episode. Good next.

Bye! Make it so. Make it so. Make it so. Catch it, you'll know the color of the u. And fit it, fit it by. Catch it, you'll know the color of the u. And fit it by. Make it so. Make it so. Make it so.

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