The Greatest Generation - Male Pattern Loaf (S5E10)

Episode Date: February 8, 2017

When the Entrepreneur takes part in an exciting propulsion experiment, Worf is distracted by the demands that fatherhood has thrust upon him. His son Alexander is coming to live on the ship whether we like it or not. Is the scientist an alien, or just a guy who didn’t listen to his dermatologist? Is stealing a thing when there are replicators? Why is that one toy so ubiquitous in medical environments? Its a show of false starts and big farts.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Last time on Star Trek, the next generation. This isn't hot, wax on a hot tub, right? Oh, no, is this? I don't want to tip my hand at him, but I just really don't want to have had an opportunity to veto that and not. Well, it's up to you whether or not you want to take that risk, I guess.

Uh, I gotta do it. I gotta veto. Oh, God, really? As Denzel says, in crimsonide, you're blind and deaf. And you want to shoot your missiles right now? I am positive that Lipin's under stallions were born black. Ben, and I'm stopping you from the veto. No! Adam, this was a good war! The Denzel side is always the right side.

Oh! Oh! See what I've done as I've taken, you've handed me your fucking whistle and I put it on around my neck. I'm the captain now. You know what's funny is that's not even going to be the episode I bet. And now the conclusion. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Oh Jesus. Give me a second. What happened?

You know how like once a year you do a fart and it's like a homeless guy came into your house and farted? That is Disgastic. I'm so sorry Welcome to the greatest generation. A Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm one of your hosts, Benjamin or Harrison. I am one of your other hosts, Adam Pranaka. I hope we keep that opening, Ben. Oh yeah. Unadded that opening. Oh Oh, yeah, unedited that opening God What did you do? What did you eat? I made some carnitas a couple days ago, and it's like one of those

One of those dishes where you make a whole lot of it and then you kind of work it into lunches and and left overs dinners. Yeah,. Throughout the the next seven or so days. Yeah, it makes them into your eggs. It's me and I meaning I have a lot of rice and beans in my diet at the moment. Ooh, well lucky you. Lucky wife. Yeah, that's a. You know what they say when you get married, Ben, that's a... You know what they say when you get married, Ben? It's a gassy wife, happy life, right?

Yeah. Yeah, gassy to wife. One of the many things that frustrates my wife about her lifestyle. Adam, would you like to open some Star Trek cards with me? I've been just thinking about the fact that I have two out of my three signed cards, and it's burning me up inside. Yeah, I can do that, but I should tell you, I'm recording from the podcast equivalent of the Battlebridge.

Mmm, Studio B. Yeah, I'm in Studio B right now, so I don't have my cards on me. You might have to solo this one. Okay, solo mission. The game is five cards, the game is exceeding. It's simple. What are the suggestions for They aren't there. Time to pluck a pinion. What happened? You separated the saucer section? I did. The studio basement that I typically record out of is has had some remodeling done.

Hmm. And some sound compromising remodels. Yeah, it's weird, right? When you remove the carpet and replace with wood, your audio fidelity goes to shit. It sounds like... Sounds like anybody canyons down there. And until we get that fixed, I'm going to be recording in the battle bridge.

Mmm, we're going to have to get some baffles. I know. Well, I have a couple of cards here. I've got the bonding, which is a Worf candle episode. I've got a Burnt John episode. Yeah. The picture is not an Elton John like. It's a silhouette of war for the candle on the foreground. I've got birthright part two, which is also a warfepisode. I've got redemption part two.

A lot of part two's in this pack. Huh. I've got pen pals. Part two. Where data was having a Chris Hansen relationship online. That was a fun one. And unification part one. Oh, broke the streak. What a weird packet cards. Yeah, that is a weird one. The Nikki Cox episode. Yeah.

Was pen pals. Oh, yeah, that was Nikki Cox.. Yeah with the crazy long um with the glitter fro. Glitter fro and the crazy long pinky finger right? Right. Yeah she had she had coke pinky finger and glitter fro. Yeah. Not a great look. Now, now but data was down. Well, that gets me down to, I think I have four packs left. And one guaranteed autograph in there, right? One guaranteed autograph. See, this is starting to make me wonder if this fake autograph card that's like signed by one or T's in embossed gold is Gonna be passed off as one of the autograph cards. That can't count. I don't think it should look I think I really like one or T's. He's the greatest

He's one of our preeminent Star Trek artists. Yeah, but I don't think that's the same weight as a real autograph from a sterling mason Jr That's no Joe animiles. No, of course. Um, and I'm trying to pass it off like it is I don't want to propose something kind of radical here. What if I just opened the rest of these right now? I think you should do it. I think you should I think that's one of the seven deadly sins from the movie Seven, right? Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, they find that guy, uh, like in bed, surrounded by a pile of Star Trek cards and wrappers.

Oh, yeah, they think he's dead and then they put their ear to him and yeah. And then there's that other guy that they made, uh, have sex with a prostitute with Star Trek cards. Right, yeah. I don't know which one of those sins is you right now? I guess we'll let the cards decide. Let's see, I've got Man of the People. Some of these are new on me. We've got the Host, which is... I think that's the Bottice ripper episode with... Oh no, this is the one with Odin

and the Ankleosaur in the belly. Yeah. I've got tapestry. I've got first contact, one of my favorites with what's your face is the loofed out nurse that helps Riker escape through sex. Oh, yeah Yeah, the only way out is in and I've got rascals. Oh, this is a fun one. Do you remember this episode at him? Rascals is not a fun one. As one of our Twitter viewers mentioned to me earlier in the week, I hate children, I guess. I hate them all. Not really clear.

I've hung out with you enough at him to know that that's not true. I have a problematic relationship with child actors on this show, specifically. Yeah. That's fine. Alright, I've got... We're into HAC2 now. Got masks, got evolution. Oh, here's an interesting.

I've got a silver embossed card that says, ships of the line and it shows the enterprise flying between those crazy tentacle aliens from episode one. I remember those guys turned a bunch of tentacle aliens into a star base or whatever. Yeah. On the back of this card is a kind of random looking cut out of like a planet and a tiny bit of maybe like the deflector dish of the ship and it makes me think that maybe this is meant to be one of many cards that you assemble to make a big picture. Oh, but I won't be clear because I think this is the first one of its kind that I've seen a little puzzle piece

Yeah, a little puzzle piece Lastly, I've got a matter of time which we just watched and I've got shizms Shizms And uh, Ben That's the episode that I liked the least. Because it underscores my... Shiblin' dash. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Very cool to people who have it. Hahaha. Okay, two more cards. And then, and then we're out of this terrible, terrible bit.

It makes me think of my childhood where I were a retainer. Hahaha. All the other children made fun of me. Hahaha. And so I killed them. Every... Every student at my school everywhere. Going to a doubt elementary school sounds pretty rough, Kevin.

Oh man, yeah, they're giving you a lot worse than a wedgie at the Dowd junior high. Well, you can tell by the fact that the music has changed that I'm back to opening cars. The next five are survivors. Final mission. Lonely among us. The perfect mate. Oh, that's the one with the Famke Jensen. Hmm.

Hmm. And Haven. There's not a signature card card yet Adam. I'm getting worried. I only have one pack left. This has gotta be it right? Alright, there's quite a bit of suspense involved here. Are you feeling full yet? It's a rush. I'll admit that. It's like lining up shots and doing them, you know. Keep eating big, man. Alright. Last pack. I've got the battle. I've got in theory. Ugh.

I've got a signature card here, Adam. Yes. This is a... signature card here, Adam. Yes. This is Deirdre L. Emerson, who, of course, you will remember as Joval from the episode Captain's Holiday. I think she's the one that got irritated that he was displaying the Hora-gon without wanting to bone down. What? Alright, I'm looking up the card.

This is so nice looking lady. Oh yeah. A real, a real quaff that really places her in an era, hair wise. She's real pretty. And I do remember her being upset and sort of confused that Picard had displayed the Horgon. Yeah. Without really understanding the consequences of such a display. Yeah.

Yeah. Well speaking of Horgon, Adam, I don't know if I had this card before, but I also in this pack is the card for Captain Soliday, and it is a picture of the organ. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. That's appropriate that they would be together. Deirdre and the Horgon.

Yeah. And then my last one is Time's Gap, which is a... That's the Jean-Claude Van Dam episode. It's a pretty groovy picture of a smiley face cloud. Remember that where they like go aboard the enterprise and it's like frozen in time and Picard draws a smiley face in a cloud? That's a nice moment. Oh Adam, I am spent. You two tired to do some pod?

No way, never. Like working after a giant meal. You're gonna somehow get through. The only way I can do it at him is with the help of some podcast food. Oh yeah. Podcast food is best consumed out of the official greatest gen Drunk Chamotra's Barred and Grill pint glass now available at maxfundstords.com That's right if

If you have an extra $30 lying around and you'd like to buy one pint glass You'll love our drunk Shimoto's pint glass. It's a collectible. This is all this is not gonna be up forever I Know I was just making a light of one of the comments about... about what I believe to be our greatest merch item yet. Yeah, I think that's... I think that's fair. I'm super pumped about it. I ordered one, Ben. I actually bought our own merch. I haven't yet, but I plan on it.

I was anticipating a sell-out, so I wanted to get in really. Get that first edition. Yeah, you don't want to get a second edition. That would look terrible. You don't want to get the new edition. Then we've gone on quite a run of lengthy Marin Opens. Yeah. And hour-long plus episodes,

why don't you say we tighten this up a little bit and get into it. It's a, coming up right here is season five, episode 10. New ground. First, you keep every stoppiece, officer, piece to the truth, find any truth, or a historical truth, or personal truth.

Adam, I owe you an apology. Oh no, were you not recording? I'm recording. I'm saying this is an episode that I attempted to veto out of fear, but this was the episode in which LaWoxana Troy takes Warf's son, Alexander to the mud baths. And what I should have realized is that Troy episodes

always have a terrible pun in the name. Yeah. And I, I feel like a fool. I knew that. You wasted a veto. That's what you did. Boy. Huh.

I mean, I don't feel like it was entirely always, but I acted irrationally and I just want to cop to that. I would say half of our viewership is going to be happy about the circumstance and the other half is going to be profoundly angry. Yeah. Well, we get accused of a lot of shenanigans with the with the Vitos. Sick of being accused of shenanigans. Yeah, I'll cop to shenanigans where where that's the truth. So far, no shenanigans.

I swear to God, I'll pistol whip the next guy that says shenanigans. This was just me legitimately being kind of an idiot. Yeah, yeah. Pretty legit. The episode starts with Jordy just pumped. He is so fucking excited. Data. Data, isn't this exciting? We are going to witness a moment in history.

Every nanosecond in this continuum is a moment in history once it has elapsed. They are working with some aliens on a new type of warp propulsion called Selaton waves, which Jordy likens to breaking the sound barrier or the warp barrier. And he's like, he's like, prancing around engineering just like,

he is a kid that knows he's about to go to the candy store and data and war for their helping him out. And they just like cannot bring themselves to to fame enthusiasm. That was pretty fun. This is so typical of Jordy to like just not really be able to read his audience. Yeah. I think this isn't keeping with his character. Yeah, and also in keeping with data and worst character that they're not going to do anything to help somebody out. You know, they're like, yeah, that's true.

If you're at a dinner party with four people and like, you're trying to like keep the conversation going, but it's just not working out, like data and wharf are two people you don't want at that table, you know, you're going to look at them with some desperation and they're going to look, look away from you, look down at their food, you know? Yeah, they're like going to the kitchen for seconds. They're not gonna get you off the hook. Nope, they're gonna take an important work call

that they forgot they had. Yeah, and speaking of important work calls, Wurf gets one of these. Yeah, and it says mom, she is like, hated to the enterprise unannounced. And this is like, I was a little surprised that Wurf didn't react badly to this. Yeah. Usually he's kind of annoyed by his parents and acts like they are kind of a burden.

But she announces that she and his son, Alexander, are on their way to the enterprise. And he's like, okay, I'll set up a, I'll get a state room ready for you, you know? Like he's, he is not acting put upon it. Which is a big shift. I feel like I feel like Wurf has grown a lot since last his parents visit. It seems extremely risky for Wurf's parents to do this

because as we know from the show Bible,, the number one thing that happens on the show is the enterprise going on a mission and getting diverted to a different mission. So if this card though ship thinks it's going to meet the enterprise, there's a 90% chance that it's not going to be there. And yet she makes it a board like I feel like the next scene is her and Alexander beaming on board and it is fairly quickly that she explains to Worf that she's here essentially to drop Alexander off. How long can you stay? I'm not going back. Does Alexander look different to you this time around?

Well, it's the same actor, so maybe it's just like Growne. I don't remember his hair looking so much like the triangle haircut lady from the Dilbert cartoons. Like, it is, I mean, Worf has a bob. Alexander has a bob, but Alexander's bob is very severe. It is a, it's really triangular. It's triangular in a way that only a men's right advocate like, like Scott Adams could, could inflict upon a female character. God, you know, at that age you just get a lot of bad haircuts. I know I, I know I had many terrible haircuts at that age,

but I mean, in a perfect future, it looks like that's still a thing. I wonder about bad haircuts on little kids though, because I look at my childhood year books and pictures of me as a kid, and I'm like, why did my parents allow this? This is terrible. Like, they were the ones taking me to the supercuts.

They were paying for it. Why was a bull cut ever on the menu? God, it's so true. Like, what a waste of money. All of those supercuts haircuts were. I have talked extensively about the embarrassing West Hot American Summer incident in my past. And that was an embarrassing incident of my own making.

I look back at my hair in the 80s and 90s, and I'm exquisitely embarrassed. And it wasn't my fault. I think there is a adolescent and pre-adolescent haircut industrial complex at work here. I think parents are complicit in this. pre-adolescent haircut industrial complex at work here. I think parents are complicit in this. I think it's wrong. Yeah, I think that haircut choices should be taken out of the hands of people who think

that their children are cute. If you don't think that the stakes are high in junior high school for looking dumb. Think again. Yeah. Everything is on the line with that haircut. Yeah, I mean, that's like three solid years of being either a laughing stock or not.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so Alexander, based on haircut alone, odds are not going to be the cool kid in his classroom. I mean, I'm just going to put my chips on that bet. Yeah, and you have to imagine that the kids of the 24th century are advanced enough not to make fun of somebody for loaf. Right.

But hair cut is going to be fair game. Yeah. Even in the future. Yeah. The fun and games get started pretty quickly. And the solid ton thing that we talked about earlier is quickly revealed to be the B-slash C storyline and Wurf having to adjust to life with his kid on board is the A storyline.

So there's a lot of Wurf dropping the kid off at school, revealing he doesn't know Alexander's birthday by heart when the teacher is like asking for personal information. Really kind of paint's worth as kind of a deadbeat absentee father. Yeah. Yeah, really it doesn't matter. It's not a good look. It's not really how it was set up, you know? Like, he made a rational choice to send Alexander to live with his parents when K. L.R. bought the farm because, you know, it's a starship.

And while there are hundreds of children aboard, it's a pretty dangerous place. And he's not, you know, he doesn't have the ability to provide a fully functioning household, you know, he's a bachelor and so he sends the kid off to live with his folks who are seasoned adoptive parents, but they're like getting too old for it. His mom kind of drops that Danny Glover line on it. Oh, I'm too old for this shit. And so he's got to accept Alexander, but then all of this stuff that happens surrounding Alexander moving to the enterprise reveals that Wurf has not even been a good father in absentia.

He hasn't kept in touch. Yeah, and it really serves to confirm Alexander's suspicions from jump and throughout the episode that like, he feels like no one gives a shit about him. Yeah. And he's not wrong. No. Yeah, I would say that the main arc of this episode Yeah, I would say that the main arc of this episode is about Worf finding a way to give a shit about his child, which is a really dark subject matter, and a fairly light episode despite that. The show is done so much to build up the goodwill for its main characters.

It's sort of hard to see Wurf portrayed this way. Like there's no middle about it. Like he's a bad dad. Yeah, and I think that there is some covert racism in that. I think that in the 80s and 90s, like men and especially black men being bad fathers was not like a problem on television. You know, like there's, and it's, you know, still a problem in our society.

Like there's less pressure on men to be parents than there is on women. And like, Wurf definitely didn't plan on having this child, still a problem in our society. There's less pressure on men to be parents than there is on women. And Wurf definitely didn't plan on having this child, but he also took like zero responsibility for the child when he found out he had it. It's weird that they saddled this character with that conflict instead of say,

Commander Riker, who feels more likely to have spawned children throughout the galaxy, you know? Right, and also more likely to have daddy issues. Yeah, yeah. You know, like not wanting to perpetuate fatherhood because it's an institution he's inherently suspicious of. Right. institution he's inherently suspicious of. Right. Warp has great parents. It's true. He really does. Yeah, so why is he so shitty at it?

It's really like, I mean, I think that they do a little bit to unpack, you know, the kind of identity he had to erect for himself as a stranger in a strange land who had everything taken away from him, but I don't think it quite adds up. So as we move through the story, it turns out Alexander is every bit the problem child as the titular problem child is from the John Ritter movies of the early 90s. Yeah, that kid wasn't adopted. That's where he was your real son.

He's stealing shit, he's lying about it. He's a little bit, he's like that type of kid that's a bully, but also is a Chicken shit like yeah Like he's hitting people and then saying other people started it. He's like that kid. Yeah, it's not good And this is not the way of the warrior no Yeah, this stuff is like Viscerally offensive to war who lives a life that is founded on his personal honor and the honor of his family. So, like, his first tack at trying to address some of these issues with Alexander is basically telling Alexander, like, if you do dishonorable shit, it reflects badly on me, and I can't have that.

But I remedy the situation. Like reasoning with a child of this age is just hilarious to watch. Because the child is going to do anything he can to just end the conversation, especially by just agreeing with whatever's being said. Like, oh yeah, I get it. That's all you need to know about torture.

Yeah. Because having a conversation about how you behave with a child of this age is a form of torture for that child. And like a victim of torture, the child is going to tell you what you want to hear, not necessarily the truth. Yeah.

I love the story that he tells him about the statue on his coffee table. Yeah. He's got the statue of two brothers on his coffee table and they're like clenched in a fight. And Wharf tells the story. It's a very homo-erotic statue. They fought for 12 days and 12 nights because Morath had broken his word and brought shame to his family. Because one of them dishonored their family and the other one wasn't into it.

And that's the lesson that Alexander is supposed to learn. Yeah. That's the lesson that Alexander says that he has learned just to stop the conversation. Yeah. Wurf has abstracted the idea of honor far too much for a child of this age, I think. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not working well.

Well, anyways, back to the B-slash C storyline. They beam on the scientist who is going to be conducting this big experiment with Solitan waves. And they have a little McLaughlin group where he kind of explains the experiment to them. This guy's got like Edward James, almost level acne scars. So say we all. He's got mouth loaf. I think this might be the first instance that we've seen sort of like a cadaverous mouth loaf because he's also very gray looking. Yeah, well, I think that he really ignored the advice of his dermatologist and his teen years. I mean, it's unclear whether he's actually an alien

or just a guy who did not use his acutane as prescribed. He's passed the point of proactive. Mm. Braggdiv ain't got shit on what his skin is doing. Yeah. Yeah, you try to call up Rodan and Fields. If you're this guy, they're gonna hang up on you. He almost looks like he's got a box turtle

around his mouth. That sort of thing. It's really interesting loaf. It's a nice new type of loaf. Yeah Doesn't feel like a loaf retread. No nice mother loaf does you know like the hacky joke about like you know balding guys growing facial hair and the hair just sort of migrating down to the face like This is sort of like his loaf migrated down Male pattern loaf. Yeah. The experiment is this.

They've got this new way of creating a warp field where the ship surfs on a wave of soliton particles and they haven't like built it into a reactor yet. So what they're going gonna do is create this wave on the surface of a planet, shoot it out, and it's gonna, it's going to pass through a test ship that the enterprise will then follow to another planet that will send out a scattering field to slow it down. And the idea is that this is a more efficient way

to warp around the galaxy, I guess. So they get the experiments started and everybody is totally blown away at how great this technology is. Energy transfer is 98% 98%. Yeah, everyone's super pumped. No one regards the sound of the wave as being like a cheap toy store ray gun, though. Ha ha ha. I really did not like the sound this wave made.

Yeah, I mean, they're distracted, man. This wave is getting a lot of horses to the back wheels. Yeah, it's true. And this ship is riding on it like Teen Wolf on top of the van. Yeah, you can hear the like, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, t It's surf rock science, isn't it? Surf rock science with Edward James almos. I can't wait to see that album cover. It's one of those album covers like, there was like a black crow's album that was like just pubes and they had to like paper over it because it was because it was too gross. You get Edward James almost on an album cover, you got a paper over anything below the nose, right?

Yeah, NSFW. Yeah. This is about when they go on a field trip to the Bio Lab, where they get to look at some endangered animals that the enterprise is like moving from one planet to another, which I feel like every time we encounter an endangered species on this show at him, it's a hand puppet. Yeah. Soulu Lulu Lulu. So, Alexander is quite taken with this, but he's not allowed to like, like, jury eight in watching these animals hang around in their cage for very long because he gets caught stealing models from the biolab.

I'm sorry. I forgot to tell everyone that the models on the tables were for everyone to play with. So I guess you didn't know you weren't supposed to take them. This is very upsetting for Wurf and... Wurf has to like pat him down. Yeah. It kind of evoked a question for me, which is like, who gives a shit?

There's replicators. Ha ha ha. Yeah, like a stealing less of a thing if you can just reproduce the thing. I just, yeah, like I can't figure out how anybody cares at all. Like, those should just be free, and the ship could just like, with its computer, keep track of what models are available in the Pyle lab, and when one goes missing, like, have one beamed directly into it automatically

without anybody even having to pay attention to it. The act of replication is without honor. Yeah, that's how a coward gets his toys. Yeah, it's not even that cool of a toy. Yeah, it's like kind of a crappy lizard toy. Yeah. Not even a dinosaur. Yeah.

Was Jay Gordon on this field trip? Oh, I didn't see him if he was. I feel like there was a little blonde kid that I thought might be Jay Gordon from disaster. Was the hand puppet from the data being put in a museum episode on the table, I thought I recognized it. It was a different hand puppet. Yeah. It was made to look more like a huge log of human feces. Oh right. Yeah. That was the intention.

Wurf is at a couple of conversations with Troy who has sort of declared her intentions not to allow Wurf to be a shitty dad. And Wurf has kind of brushed it off like no, like you know, the kid was lying, but I talked him out of it. And so now like it's pretty clear to Wurf that he's got a problem on his hands. And so he's like he keeps talking to Troy about it. And it's pretty clear that she's also not gonna let him learn the ropes of parenting by himself. Like she is very dismissive of him

when he makes rookie mistakes. Which I feel is not really the way I would play this if I was Troy. Yeah, it doesn't seem that helpful. There's no music box for War, either, that she can just pull out from behind a couch. Some music box playing Klingon Opera. Well negative reinforcement. I mean, this is a more interesting episode for Troy than average, because she's actually doing some counseling. I don't feel like she's entirely in her pot this time.

Yeah, and she brings up some interesting points with him, which is like, you know, Alexander did basically watch his mother get murdered. And then, and then basically the same day, So Alexander did basically watch his mother get murdered. And then basically the same day you sent him off to live with his grandparents. So that's a pretty tough day, right? Yeah, I mean, and like her, the upshot of that is just like, you guys both have some like grieving and some processing to do.

And whether you're going to do it in a cling-on way, or a human way, or some blend of the two, like you might consider the fact that, because you're both on the same journey, it would be good for you to both do it together. Yeah, and Worf's like, we'll point taken, but I think I'm still gonna send him to like a cling-on battle academy. Yeah.

Yeah. Really toughin' battle academy. Yeah. Really toughen them up. Yeah. Which is the threat that every parent makes to a disbehaving child. Like it's boarding school for you. Yeah. Yeah, you're going to be out of here, Bob.

What do you think a Klingon boarding school is like? It's got to be incredible. I'm just picturing like, rush more with a lot more battle damage. He applied to Praxis and Kronos, Stovacore was a safety. We're having a lot of rubber meets the road, learning while doing kind of interactions around this. You know, like he keeps getting it from the teacher that Alexander is not really conforming to the rules.

And I found like some of the parent teacher conference in scenes, especially upsetting Adam. I don't know if you noticed this, but that toy that's in every pediatrician's waiting room. Yeah. With the like wooden beads and the white colored wires. Yeah. that toy that's in every pediatrician's waiting room with the wooden beads and the colored wires was in that teacher's office.

And I found that. And I found that hospital toy. There's something so soul crushing about the idea that's still being a toy that is around in the 24th century. Yeah. God. Yeah. God. Yeah, it's always just kind of sticky. Yeah, yeah.

You can never get that thing truly clean. No. Which is one of the many things that is perplexing about its ubiquity in medical environments. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, no doubt. I get rid of that thing. I think that thing is spreading disease.

That thing should be on the scrap heap of history by the 24th century and yet. Well Adam, the experiment with the Salitan wave great, but it's getting quickly out of control because the test ship that it was pushing has us bloated, and now the wave is getting bigger and faster, and they're worried it's gonna have like a death star-like effect on the planet that's supposed to slow it down. Yeah, what do you think of the idea of aiming at another planet as the experiment? I feel like they could have aimed it a little bit off-axis of the other planet, and that

planet would have been just as capable of dispersing the field of interference or whatever? Why not aim at it a star? What's it gonna do to a star? Tch. I don't know. You don't want it to have a sting like effect on a star. You don't want short break crashing on your star. Yeah.

You gotta observe harbor speed when you're going past a star because you don't you don't want it splashing like that Man, there's something for everyone this episode boat enthusiasts Yeah, and so like this is becoming not just a crisis for the planet that the wave is headed toward, but the ship, because you know, the entrepreneurs' shields are not doing great and the only really good option they have for stopping the wave is getting out ahead of it and shooting it with a bunch of torpedoes. So they put this plane into action where they're gonna speed the ship up go right through the wave Which which will test their shields by itself and then they're gonna kind of like lay some hot eggs on it

By shooting some torpedoes out of their out of the ship's keyster as they as they go past This was a great moment in plot explanation because as soon as they come up with this plan in the conference room, I'm like, why not go around it? And as I'm yelling this at the TV, they're explaining to me why they can't go around it. It was perfect timing. They can't go around it because it's grown so big that the time it would take to go around it would be too late. It has grown so big and yet when they show it,

it doesn't ever look that much bigger. It's true, yeah. Well, they go through it and they're gonna lay these eggs, but they're like, okay, the shields are fucked up enough that this explosion is gonna irradiate the belly of the ship and we need to evacuate those sections. And they're starting to evacuate when they realize there's a big fire in one of the biolabs And there's this completely insane sequence of them

Discovering that Alexander is in the biolab with the fire See love that compartment for better venting out their life forms present in that biolab For transporting endangered animals from Corbont too readings also indicate the presence of a humanoid cat. Computer, identify humanoid life form in Biolab 4. What humanoid could it possibly be? And they asked the computer about that. The computer spits back the answer, which like they probably should have had the first moment

of knowing that there was a fire on the ship. And then apparently the only two people on this ship of 1,000 people who can go be the fire patrol are Commander Riker and Lieutenant Warf. Yeah. This is the point in the episode where they really ask you to take the leap with them. Yeah, like isn't there like every deck should have a fucking fire brigade and damage control unit, right? Yeah. That should just be like, I mean, like, if you've ever worked in an office of any size,

there's like a guy with a fucking day glow hat and a vest in his cubicle whose job it is to be like fire marshal if there's ever like a gas leak in the building or whatever. Of course a ship like this would have that guy, right? This, it seems like madness, Ben. Now when you're designing a starship, built for transporting about to extinct animals,

you're not gonna wanna install a fire suppression system in that room because foams, fire suppression liquids, and fire retardants can be poisonous to all sorts of animals. Make sure you station or damage control crew is far from that section of the ship as possible. In case there's ever a radiation leak, do two shooting to our pitos at a soliton wake. There's no better word to say in the Boston accent than Solitan. You can't want to construct your endangered animal cage out of white plastic and chicken

wire. It's insane. So what Wurf and Riker do is basically they recreate the pet shop fire scene from Kiwi's big adventure. Come on! You can help me! Come on! Don't panic! No pushing, no stabbing!

Yeah, there's a lot of snakes in that room. Yeah. Like, right on down to when they open up the door to the room, the flames just shoot out of it. Yeah, and this is like, there are a bunch of like amazing warfeats of strength, like ripping deranium wallplatings off and like lifting the super heavy beam that has as Alexander painted the floor. What you get here is

a contest of yells. Like, it really made me think Ben, who's the better yellers? It's War for Riker, because you get auditions from both in this scene, and they are both amazing. Yeah, I feel like they make wagers. Alexander! Alexander! He heard me!

Alexander! Like, there was like a bookie on the cruise like who's gonna do the better yells in the scene If you're directing freaks all you need to do is say give me some real slather this one with some anybody Like give me the anybody juice on this any delivers fucking great this. And he delivers. It's fucking great. He's getting ready for his role in Star Trek generation. Well, they buy the seat of their pants, get Alexander out of there, and enterprise Enterprise dissipates the wave and they even save the endangered species. The button on the episode is Wurf talking to Alexander about, you know, his decision to send him away to military school. And Alexander expressing his continued displeasure with that and then Wurf saying like, the

real challenge would be staying here with me a terrible father Are you up for that challenge? It's like such a veiled threat. It's amazing. Like, like he's basically admitting that his adolescence is going to be an atrocity. Yeah. There's no way you grow up normal with me. You want to try it? Oh boy. That's how you know how bad Klingon boarding school is when he chooses Wharf. Yeah. Did you like this episode, Ben?

I think I did, Adam. I think I did. You didn't like the episode you attempted to veto? Tell me more. Well, I regret attempting to veto it because I think there are probably worse episodes this season. And now we are defenseless against them. But I didn't like it for larger reasons than I usually consider in employing my veto. I think it has kind of a racist premise, and I think that it has a lot of problematic depictions of fatherhood and a really like a climax scene that just strains credulity

on all counts. So, you know, it's not a Mount Armist episode, but I don't think it's quite a good episode. Yeah, much like the episodes were were asked to believe that the senior staff are bunch of idiots. The inflection point of this episode is the moment where there's a fire in that room and riker and war for the only ones that can go help. Yeah. They're really needed on the bridge at that moment. There are like two of the three most important people on the bridge at that moment. Yeah. I mean, we need it for quote unquote drama, but is it not more dramatic if Warf has to depend on a stranger to save his son's life? Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know, man. We're deprived of the riker carrying a bunch of snakes out of the pet store scene though, and that's fun. Yeah, that is yeah anytime Riker and Peewee are doing something similar. Yeah. Like there's something just like deeply true about that. Rikers little singed. Warp's loaf is a little singed. Yeah, there's a little little little ash and loaf. You just slather those parts with some ketchup I think. Hardly notice. Yeah, it's a nice my yard reaction on that loaf. Yeah. Adam, I think there may be some priority one

messages awaiting us in our captains nest. Do you want to check that out with me? Yeah, you want to hit the answering machine on those? Hit the button? Let's do it. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement on it. supplement on it?

supplement. supplement. Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. We have a couple of priority on messages here, Adam. Our first is from Eric. It's for Dan. And here's the message. Happy to share this pod with you. And thanks for being my best friend.

You would never leave me behind like some kind of going on Jake. Side note, this form of correspondence is costing us a lot of scarves if only a cheaper alternative existed. PS, hey Ben, Will Coxen is a stats reference, nothing That's reference. Nothing to do with crew. Know your viewers, PPS. Hi Nick and Frada. So I guess that reference is a previous priority one message. And boy, I don't know anything about statistics. Boy, that was like a real Russian nesting doll of messages. There's the message, there's the big message. And then there's the sort of slap to the back of your head on the Wilcox

on reference. And then there was a shout out to another P1 submitter. Yeah. Kind of a luck on one really nice. Oh, and then there's also the, uh, the slap on, on the cost of the P1. I mean, that's, that's in there too. So kind of a lot there. I mean, he is right though. It is the most economical way of communicating that either us would recommend. Yeah, there's really no other way to do what they're trying to do. No. Uh, we have a second priority one message here, Ken. Okay. Let's see if it's a pile of nesting dolls.

It's from Kelly. It's for Alan. And it goes like this, Happy Birthday to the Captain Picard of my heart. I'm proud to say this podcast was another thing I was right about. I love you more than Troy loves chocolate and that's a heck of a lot. Dang. I hope you enjoyed this birthday shout out. Wow, that's a really sweet message.

Kelly, you weren't negative about the cost of the message. You did not criticize Ben's understanding of some sort of terminology that... I'm a skier math terminology. That he didn't understand. Instead it was about love, birthday love for Alan. And I think that's especially sweet. That's great. Sweet is a bowl of chocolate mousse.

Do you think Troy's ever eaten Worf's cake? Because that pound cake appeared to be of the chocolate variety. Yeah. Well, you know, Troy and Worf lined up, lined up, uh, hooking up toward the end of the series, so. We don't talk about our future here, Pat. That's true. That's true. I retract that. I retract that glimpse into the future. If chocolate was all it took for Troy to fall for you, she would have hooked up with Wesley like in season two. Yeah.

Makes you wonder where Wesley learned that trick. Well, thanks a lot to Kelly and Happy Birthday to Alan. Yeah. Well, thanks a lot to Kelly and happy birthday to Alan Yeah, if you would like to send a birthday message or sell a product or just say something to the larger greatest gen community correct either one of us on a misuse of a term I would say that that's the only viable way to correct us right right I accept no free corrections. You can go to maximumfund.rxlashjumbo-tron where a personal message is 100 bucks and the

commercial message is 200 bucks. Helps us produce this show. Thank you. Darmak and Jalad and Denaga. A Greatest Gen Live Show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment.

Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it. The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne.

On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds. Pat Noswald. Could I get a ball-rock burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you.

And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are open. Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goat try. Being smart is hard.

Be dumb instead. Oh, rice. Hey, hey, I'm about to count you in mine. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line. And boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks.

But I'm hearing we need to get on this. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different.

Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that. And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so, seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came to by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie, available available on maximumfund.org Hey, Ben. What's that Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? I did. I got a real laugh out of a line that Troy said in this episode.

So she gets my drunk Shemota for when she tells Wharf, I'm not here to approve or disapprove of how you raise your son. Because it seems like that's basically the main thing she's there for in this episode. It's like, is like parenting referee. Yeah, that was pretty backhanded, Troy.

She is a real manipulator as a counselor. I can't remember a time when her form of counseling wasn't very manipulative. Yeah, she's kind of like as much a mentalist as a counselor. Is this what the Scientologists are on about? Is how fraudulent this is? I don't know. I've had some some very positive experiences

with mental health professionals in my past. I have to I have to hope that this is more about Troy being written by people that don't know what the fuck they're talking about than Troy actually being bad. Boy, given those two options, I think the likelihood is the former versus the latter. Yeah. How about yourself? Did you have a Shimoda? Yeah, I do. And Ben, I think one of my favorite Shimodas to ever call attention to are the types that happen in the deep background, the obscure shimota. And when you combine that with an action scene,

those are like my all-time favorites, the action shimota. In this episode, one of the big bangers gets dropped on the ship and people go flying. I think this is when they attempt to penetrate the wave, right? Yeah, there's a couple of bangers at that part. And it full on, like, throws people out of seats. Yeah. And in this scene, Rikers at the top of the horseshoe sort of at security, Yeah. When the banger hits and he hits the ground and rolls sort of down the slope with his legs up. He falls backwards and he does that

thing where when you roll backwards and kick your legs up and you almost go all the way over and then sort of like roll back and slap your legs down. Fun. He almost goes all the way over. And I'm wondering if that was very close to a neck injury for one John Freaks. Man. It was real funny.

I loved it. Did you speaking of Shimoda like things that Friggs has done? Did you see I think it was on the Facebook somebody posted a picture of Friggs with like his wife and it was like a pregnancy photo? Yeah, oh my god He's just the greatest. I think he's living his best life. Friggs is an example. I feel like we can all live by There is probably no other place to drop this in. And if I don't, it will probably never be referenced. But that pound cake scene a couple episodes ago with Wharf.

Yeah. When they welcome Wesley back onto the ship. Freaks does some comedy there that I do not completely understand, but just destroys me. He's totally nonverbal. that I do not completely understand, but just destroys me. He's totally nonverbal, but he is making faces at Michael Dorn and making faces to the camera, and he's sort of in soft focus.

And when he passes behind Wurf, it looks like he pinches his ass. Like, there's a full 30 seconds of really great physical comedy there that we didn't call attention to during the episode that I don't know what Freak's is doing on this show besides like entertaining himself. That seems like a real priority for him and I love it.

Yeah. Well, we don't talk about future episodes, but we sure do talk about past episodes and that's probably worth revisiting. I don't know once a week. Yeah. Good idea. What do we have coming up on the next episode? It's speaking to the future.

The next episode is season five, episode 11, hero worship, AKA Slickback Trilogy, part three. Yes. A young boy who is the sole survivor of a devastated ship becomes obsessed with simulating data. Do you remember this episode, Adam? I remember every frame of this episode. This was maybe the cringiest episode of the series. Yeah, and it's like the most slick back slick back of all of all of the slick back

Trilogy episodes, right? It's the slickest back This is the kid that you put on the box cover of the of the criterion addition, right? It is it could be no one else Yeah Jo no I Mean Jo no is pretty slick back, but this kid has slick the fuck back. Yeah, Jono takes a look at this kid and is like, Whoa, dial it back with a slick back, okay?

You're making a slick bet. Hey, we're trying to slick back here. Hey! Are you slick back into me? There is just a real thick vein of anti-Italian sentiment on maximum fun shows lately. I felt like really bad Italian impressions. Yeah Good times

Well, we have to watch it then because you You flailed around and fired off all your videos. You were the guy in the action movie who got hit with gunfire and then shot all of his bullets into the ceiling on his way to the floor. Yeah, I peeled off the entire clip in my movie as I lay dying. Yeah, yeah. good job by you. Wow. I don't think we could, I don't think we could in good conscience, Vito, a slick back

episode anyways, Adam. Now, we're giving the people what they want, which is the triumphant finale of the slick act trilogy. Well, let's watch it. That's our next episode. Adam, I really appreciate everybody who's gone to maxfundstore.com and copped our hit new drunk charmodas, barred and grill pint glass,

designed by the great Chris Eliopolis, which was just a real treat, right? Like, this guy is like a real heavy-hitter illustrator. He does like, like books that sell, like, huge volumes. And he, he like threw this together on Twitter and was like, Hey, if you want this, it's yours. You would think that real talented people wouldn't want anything to do with this. I shot him a DM on Twitter and I was like, hey, let me send a couple of these glasses

your way and he was like, no, I already ordered one. And I was like, oh, well, I wanted to get you one to say thanks. And he's like, the idea is not for me to get free stuff. It's for you guys to have some money to make the show. Man, that guy knows what to do. What a kind guy. Yeah, that guy knows the jump. What a kind guy. Yeah, that guy's a creator. Big thanks to Chris and thanks to everybody

that grabbed the glass. And thanks to Adam Ragusia, big thanks to Adam Ragusia as well this week. Speaking of real people who should probably have distanced themselves from us long ago. And yet, Adam Ragusia blessed us with a new piece of music and helped us big time with our our audio F up on the last couple episodes and Just did it out of the kindness of his heart. That's what you call a bench

We are very fortunate to have such good friends friends of the podcast and the goose is definitely definitely one of them definitely one of our main squeezes give give his shows a listen he's got the he's of course got the pub on current which is about public media and then he's also got we didn't start the podcast which is about Billy Joel is it about Billy Joel yeah it's about Billy Joel. Is it about Billy Joel? Yeah, it's about Billy Joel. Oh yeah. Billy Joel. Yeah. It's bingeable.

I love it. Oh yeah, it's really great. That guy delivers everything he does is great. Yeah, I was like, there's no way it's going to be better than the pub, which is a great show. Yeah. It's great. Unsur great. Yeah, I was like, there's no way it's gonna be better than the pub, which is a great show. And it's great, unsurprisingly. Yeah, fuckin' cookin' with gas over there in Macon, Georgia.

We should also thank Dark Materia for our theme song, and with that, it will be back at you next time, another great episode of Star Trek, the Next Generation, and the slickest Make it sound. Make it sound. Make it sound. Make it sound. Make it sound. Make it sound. Make it sound. Make it sound. Make it sound.

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