The Greatest Generation - Music Festival Math (ENT S2E12)

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

When the Entrepreneur’s entire crew compliment has to move into the ship’s nacelles, the dangerous storm and the lack of personal space puts everyone on edge. But when the alien visitors who warne...d them about the wave turn out to be AWOL deserters, the militia men trying to steal the ship almost take their game of pollo with Captain Archer too far. What’s an everyday thang for Dr. Phlox? Does Reed have a support animal? Which new subbasement of Archer’s character has now been explored? It’s the episode that’s only half Under Siege.Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

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Starting point is 00:00:00 In a world where science education is under attack, one podcast, actually seven podcasts, will team up to do something no podcast has ever done before. Star Trek Podcrawl is a celebration of science education and it involves seven of the world's most popular Star Trek podcasts. They reviewed Star Trek films starting with the motion picture and ending with Star Trek Generations in order to raise money for the National Center for Science Education. Listen to all the episodes now and support this great cause or you'll never live in the Star Trek future you want.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Star Trek Podcrawl.com Here's to the finest crew in Starling. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. for me. Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast. I'm Ben Harrison. I'm Adam Pranica.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Back from break. Back from break. A seamless break from the perspective of all listening, but it's been a really long time since we've recorded an episode of this show. To an FOD, this is gonna be like severance. Like the elevator doors close on the last episode, they open up again on this episode.
Starting point is 00:01:40 No break in quality, no break in time. Thanks for spoiling the first instant of the second season of a series, Adam. Yeah. I don't apologize for that great big spoiler to you. You want to update FODs on how you're doing specifically? I feel like that's, that's going to be the big update. Yeah, well, I think a lot of people have worried about our status W slash R slash T fires, and we are both in...
Starting point is 00:02:15 We're both dead. Died by fires. As of this recording, we are butt-ash, and yet, you know, the podcast demands that we record an episode, so we can't even get a fucking break... ...from that standpoint. This is a break. This is the best part to me. This is the best part. You're right. You're right. But also, yes, Doron has a little baby sister.
Starting point is 00:02:42 She was born on the 7th of January. She and mama are both doing great. It was a huge surprise. So the moment you reached into the drawer of the maturation chamber of the Borg ship and pulled it open and were greeted by a baby daughter, that was a big moment for you, huh? It was. Well, what happened was the drawer closed and then the drawer opened right back up again at the beginning of the next season. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. She was a total surprise. We didn't know that it was going to be a girl. We didn't know what it was going to be. And we had so many conversations about boy names.
Starting point is 00:03:25 You remember having sex around nine months ago, right? Like you remember that part? We didn't know that there was going to be a baby. We just didn't know what gender would be assigned at birth. So that came as a big surprise. And you know, these first few weeks are so many get ups in the middle of the night that were both delirious and not making any sense. And my wife keeps going like, can you get him to me while I'm
Starting point is 00:03:51 like lying in bed? And I'm like, who do you mean? Do you mean our son or our daughter? So it's been a lot of fun getting used to the new normal. Do your kids sleep in the same room? Where does Doron sleep and where does your daughter sleep? This early, we have the little one in the room with us in like a bassinet so that when she is eating like three or four times a night, so she needs to get up and it's just, there's no way to do that with her in another room. Like, it wouldn't make any sense logistically. So eventually she will move into the kids' bedroom, as we are now calling it.
Starting point is 00:04:33 But, um... How about that? But that'll be, uh, you know... Until you dig out the basement for Jerome. Right, yeah. For his cool kid teenage situation. Oh, yeah, he's gonna be down there smoking pot with his other three-year-old friends.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Hell yeah. It'll be that camera that's in the middle of the cipher circle that goes around, like that 70s show. Big fun. Yeah. I never knew what was going on on that 70s show until years later I watched like a rerun of that and I was like, oh
Starting point is 00:05:07 I know what this is. I've never seen a single second of that show. Oh Great people came out of that. You should definitely enjoy all of their all of their work And I know that's a top-line Concern for how you make choices for programming. So I, I'll try to keep that in mind on my end. But yeah, uh, stuff's going good. How are you, how, how has the break been for you? I mean, less of a break, but still, uh, you know, a break from recording feels unique as a, as a way to live.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Yeah. Had a, a fun and restorative holiday break. And I don't know, like it's hard to, like before fires seems like a long time ago. Yeah. And now- It really does. Here we are in late January. It just feels like the holidays were so long ago. I feel refreshed and ready to get back
Starting point is 00:06:05 into this long-term project we do. Indeed. A whole lot. I couldn't be happier to be here. I couldn't be happier to be hunkering down for some more records as they do in today's episode of Star Trek Enterprise. Do you want to get into it, Adam?
Starting point is 00:06:23 Do you think when you're good looking and you do this, you're hunk hunkering? Yeah. And when you're having like a sizable portion of a hunker and you're good looking, but not the whole thing, you're having a hunk a hunk hunkering? Do you think when you're Elvis and you want that, it's a hunk-a-hunk-a-hunk-a-hunkering? I think probably. I think that's probably the case. We're back in pre-break form, Ben, obviously.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Let's get into the show with Star Trek Enterprise Season 2 Episode 12. It's called The Catwalk. Anyways, we're orbiting an uninhabited, sort of primordial sounding planet, like plants and animals, but no smarties down there. They don't have to worry about a culture or interacting with it. It's so weird you said that because like when I think of Primordial, all I think about is ooze. I'm not thinking about a planet with like plants and beautiful lakes and stuff. Like the way this planet is described by the folks getting ready to go down there, it seems like a personal paradise because it is a vacation wonderland
Starting point is 00:07:45 without any other people at all. Yeah, it's like Planet National Park, but they're not letting anybody else in. But there's no ooze in the primordial sense, which is the only, like, I only ever hear that word with ooze. Yeah, yeah. You and De La Soul, Adam. They're getting ready for a camping trip and Trip is very excited about this because the planet has binary suns, so a lot of hours of daylight down there, which I guess means like plenty of partying will be done. I kind of feel like you do that after the sun goes down, but- I don't know. I think the older you get, as I've gotten older, I'm doing more of my
Starting point is 00:08:32 partying in the daylight hours. I just get too tired. They are like in the minivan, in the garage, getting ready to push the button to put up the garage door when some aliens approach and are like, hey, like, would love to come aboard your ship. And then you guys hightail it out of here at warp. Civil! Our top speed is warp five.
Starting point is 00:09:02 If you like King of Kalanas, bring it on! I love this moment because it feels so familiar, right? Anyone who's ever taken a phone call in the driveway, like that's what Archer's doing here with this FaceTime. Like he's in the shuttle. He's about to go. Yeah, it's a bit of bad news.
Starting point is 00:09:21 They didn't know about the Neutronic wavefront that is closing in because it's not on their sensors yet, but it will be soon. And I mean, I feel like this is classic, you know, don't give the last four of your social to somebody that calls claiming to be your bank kind of a moment. Like Archer tells these guys what their top speed is, just over an open comm signal. That seems like a secret that you don't want to give up. Yeah, I don't love that.
Starting point is 00:09:50 But it's like, the whole moment is played for embarrassment, right? Like, ah, these aliens I've just met think I'm way faster than I actually am. That's going to be a tough conversation, A conversation we don't end up seeing. Which I grieved, like I wanted that moment so bad. I mean, it's kind of reminiscent of the conversation they had with the, those guys that were like, oh yeah, we heard you like broke a bunch of Sula Bonds out of prison and you're like really tough. You know?
Starting point is 00:10:22 There is a lot of that going around on this show. The, I thought you were one thing and you're actually not. It's sort of the opposite of the ship of death problem that Voyager was encountering, or it's like, they're being misapprehended by a lot of people, but not in a good way. No, not at all. Yeah. Ship of, don't worry about it.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Oh, this little ship over here? I wouldn't worry about that little ship. We get a McLaughlin group. Issue one. Where T'Pol explains what a bad deal a neutronic wavefront is and how this is the kind of thing that has really done bad damage to previous Vulcan ships
Starting point is 00:11:02 and they're kind of spit balling what they can do because they can't run away from it fast enough. And this is a moment in time that predates turn us into the wave. No one's ever done that before. That was invented later. That's why that plan isn't on the table. Six bay not big enough to hunker. But it seems like it's big enough to do some hunkering, right? I'm going to put you on the spot here.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Is Dr. Flax a hunk if we're talking about hunk hunkering? I think Dr. Flax is an absolute hunk. Hunk or anti-hunk? Dr. Flax, your vote is hunk. Okay. Good to know. Yeah. I mean, people should write in.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Is it like, let's do a social media poll. Let's get some fucking audience engagement on this. Hunk or Aunt DeHunck? Yeah. I mean, somebody with a tongue like that really only reads as Hunk to me. I mean, that's what's on the inside. I think the general understanding of Hunk
Starting point is 00:11:59 is a very superficial sort of label, wouldn't you say? Sure. I guess when the tongue is on the outside, we can be superficial at that point. You're plusing up your hunk score. You are. When you're letting the tongue hang. Yeah. It's an everyday thing for Dr. Flax when he lets that tongue hang.
Starting point is 00:12:22 So they're like, oh, the other thing we could do is camp out in the warp nacelles. We'd have to turn off warp power because they're so hot when warp power is on. But when they're off, there are these catwalks in there and we can hang in there. So this is going to be the plan. They don't have a lot of time to make it happen. They have to leave orbit of the planet, which I didn't totally get, but that's part of it. Yeah, what happens to the planet when this wave hits it? Do you know that?
Starting point is 00:12:52 Well, that's what I was thinking is like, is the planet done for or like our planet has like magnetic, a magnetic field that like protects us from stuff in the cosmos, like wouldn't a planet help in some way? Like, couldn't you get behind the planet? Do you think there was a time when people were on this planet, but the wave comes through and clears them all out? Oh.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Like, maybe, uh, maybe were there to be an away mission, they would have seen ruins and so forth. Right. It's a primordial snooze button. It, like, it resets everything every 20 million years or something. seen ruins and so forth. Right. It's a primordial snooze button. It resets everything every 20 million years or something. Really interesting concept, the idea that there would be improvised fallout shelters under the nacelles in this way.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Yeah. So a little expedition is done to start making plans for how they're going to set these tunnels up for people to stay in them, because the entire crew has to be packed cheek by jowl into two nacelles. And we learned that this is not Travis's first rodeo. He's been through one of these space storms before. And so his first thought is the bathroom. What are we gonna do about the bathroom?
Starting point is 00:14:08 This was such an opportunity for Mayweather to maybe let the mask of joy slip a little bit. Like his regular vibe is one of being super cool with just about every situation. Six weeks in a situation like this, he's served. If there was ever a moment for him to have a look in his eyes, like a look of freak out. You're like, this is it.
Starting point is 00:14:36 He tiptoes up to it, right? When he talks about like, you know, when they lost main power and their grav plating went offline and he saw his dad, you know, start to contemplate death or whatever. I mean, no one jacked it for six weeks and you're all cooped up. Like that's a recipe for disaster.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Oh my God. We knew we were in trouble. You don't want to see your dad jack off, Ben. You just don't. When you're trying to catch some shut eye in the core of the ship and you look over and your dad's blanket is moving in that way. Yeah. The construction of portagons out of storage lockers is an intriguing visual to me because we all know the size of a storage locker. You can stuff a fucking nerd into a storage locker,
Starting point is 00:15:28 but I don't know if anyone can take a shit in one comfortably, right? Like you need, here, I'm gonna do it. You need some room to sit down. Wait a second, is this a storage locker or an elevator, Adam? I kind of craved a build on the latrine. Yeah. Got to be honest with you.
Starting point is 00:15:51 I mean, this was one of the rare opportunities Star Trek had to show us a bathroom. Yeah. Like, is Star Trek V going to be the only time we see a toilet in Star Trek or... Yeah. I mean, I guess maybe that hall section that comes out of the D when they first encounter the Borgs, maybe. But the throne rooms being nerd lockers is so Star Trek Enterprise as a concept. I feel like the whole episode could have been built around this.
Starting point is 00:16:20 I think it is also very clear that two is the number of them that would be made for a crew of 80. And that is some real music festival math right there when it comes down to it. It's going to take an hour for those things to be pretty bombed out where you're no longer shitting on water anymore. You're shitting on shit. Yeah. You hear the slap as it lands on, on the pile. God. Just the worst. The absolute worst. We get to see the beta Bridge. That's fun. They construct it a good ways away from the latrines,
Starting point is 00:17:10 I would think. And it's going to be made out of a bunch of jumper cables and turned over barrels. It's a great setup in there. Yeah, it's really like LAN party, not, you know. It's not like one of those, what do they call like those reddits where people show their super cool PC gaming setup, like command centers or something like that. Oh, that's interesting. I've been seeing, I've been served a Reddit community and I
Starting point is 00:17:38 don't know what this says about me, but it's, God, I wish I could name what it is exactly, but it's like, I'm a man and I live alone. And it's sort of like a rate my setup thing. And there are like so many, uh, 56 K light bulb, one room apartment. Like it's fucking bleak, man. Here's the thing. Change your light bulbs. My buddy Michael Hoffman walked past a building in New York and just sent me like a video of it from the streets.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Like new build apartment construction. Yeah. And it's like different color temperature bulbs in all of the units. Burn it down. He's like, color temperature bulbs in all of the units. Burn it down. He's like, just because I know you, this makes me irrationally angry. I would like to formally apologize on this date in late January for making a joke about
Starting point is 00:18:40 burning an apartment building down based on different color temperature light bulbs. Yeah, not great timing for that one, Adam. That joke is good. 50 out of 52 weeks. Yeah, it's... Your kids are gonna love it. Yeah. So over in the decon chamber,
Starting point is 00:19:08 what is it gotta be like to be a visiting alien? You're a little bit desperate for a place to hide out from this oncoming wave. And they invite you over and they stick you in the chamber with the creams. You gotta hang out there for a little while until we know what to do with you. Archer comes in to greet. These guys are very understanding about it. They're like, oh no, it's fine. Don't sweat it, man. Do we understand this to be a technology
Starting point is 00:19:30 that other species have? I guess so. Like, I mean, this happened when Travis went over to that alien ship and got all baked while he was wrenching on their engine. Yeah. These folks are from Tekret, which- Hopefully these guys don't wind up with a bunch of
Starting point is 00:19:46 arm nipples. You're never going to let that go, are you? I mean, we don't see them rolling up their sleeves ever. They seem to be pretty lazy with everything going on here. T'Kret's pretty far away and their job, as stated, is stellar cartography. This is something that catches their ears. They're like, oh, that's great. You know, we're explorers. Maybe we could do some map trading
Starting point is 00:20:11 when the emergency is done. You guys hunker with us. So then after you can unfurl maps. Gotta call your attention to one thing. I'm sure you noticed Ben, one of these aliens. And we should also say that their loaf seems to be a very like tired alien loaf, very puffy under the eyes. Is where they decided to go with this. One of these aliens is played by Zach
Starting point is 00:20:35 Grenier, which has a face that you must pay attention to. It's not his fault. It's just that everything he's in, you are drawn to that face. You're like, this secretary of defense might be up to something, you know? This fucking guy and his face. Like, I cannot emphasize enough. Is it possible that this police lieutenant may be corrupt is the face that he gives? This guy has zero story this entire episode. And yet-
Starting point is 00:21:11 He's like the third most important of these three aliens. Like how did they get the casting this jumbled up? They get so much juice out of the idea of just casting him at all. It heightens the entire thing with him in it. Yeah. There's so much, he's got an intriguing face and you know how I mean that, right?
Starting point is 00:21:29 It is striking, it is intriguing. Yeah. I mean, it's like on our sister show, The Flophouse here on the Maximum Fun Networks, they always talk about how like, if Bill Nighy shows up early in the movie, not as the bad guy, it's like, there's no amount of forecasting that you could do greater than that.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Like he will end up being the like ultimate evil that was pulling all the strings. And that's what it feels like when Zach Grenier shows up on screen is like, okay, like some fucking shit is going to go down with this dude. You know? Did they ruin the episode by casting him in some fucked up way? I don't know. Like... It's not his fault! Was this early enough in his career that that wasn't the baggage
Starting point is 00:22:15 that he brought into a character? Like, I feel like he's been around longer than this. Imagine showing up to a casting call and seeing Zach Grenier, like, outside on a plastic chair. Fuck! We got Zach Grenier out here? Yeah. What chance does this face have?
Starting point is 00:22:35 Nobody has a face like that. So they're like, yeah, we'll give you some maps for saving our bacon. That's a fair trade. And we get a little montage of prepping the tubes. There's like lots of half full gym bags being bucket brigaded around the ship. It seemed like a bad way to pack for potentially a couple of weeks of, of hunkering, but that's what they do.
Starting point is 00:22:59 I mean, I guess gym bags and hunks go together. So that makes sense. But think about how much time everyone had to pack. This is something that just happened to me. Like my wife and I had to pack up to leave because of fire. And I had to direct my dad to pack up to leave for me. So I was like, yeah, like I think my birth certificate
Starting point is 00:23:20 is in like the top drawer on the right. I would give any amount of money to have a recording of you and your dad talking about that. Oh my God, like an absolutely delirious call because I hadn't slept in like 48 hours and I'm like trying to remember where all the important shit in our house is. Just incredible.
Starting point is 00:23:43 Yeah. My point being is the crew didn't have a lot of time to prepare. It's like whatever you can grab the stuff in a duffel is what they're gonna do. And like ordinarily this moment is one of my favorite moments in a Star Trek thing. Like I love the moment in Star Trek Generations
Starting point is 00:23:57 where they're getting ready to evacuate the ship except in this scene there are no drop teddy bears. And I think that means a lot when you're coloring in the feelings that this is supposed to evoke. Like, in how much danger are we really? How many kids could potentially die in this situation? Do any adults have teddy bears? I have many questions. Yeah. Like, how she's got like a, like a comfort animal that she... Reads teddy bear as a permanently open mouth.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Hey, wait a second. Is that your teddy bear or your waifu, Malcolm? A teddy bear with a permanently open mouth and also empty eye sockets. I need something to do with this ship. Fair enough. We get a scene in Six Bay where Flax is complaining to T'Pol that he's been allotted 15 cubic meters for all of his critters and he just needs a lot more than that and is not looking forward to the Sophie's choice of it all.
Starting point is 00:25:03 But we had just established that Sixth Bay was one of the only other places on the ship that would be safe from this storm. So I was like, just stay there. Can I admit something to you? God, this is gonna be so painful. Okay. I get it through context clues.
Starting point is 00:25:19 I've never seen Sophie's choice. What is Sophie deciding? She has to pick between kids, like in the Holocaust. Like which one she's gonna save. Oh my God! Really? That's so sad. Yeah, I mean, I haven't seen it either. Sounds too sad.
Starting point is 00:25:37 I always conflate Sophie's Choice and Silkwood in terms of like, actors going through something hard, having to make a terrible decision. And do they also star the same people? Yeah, yeah, I think it's Meryl Streep in both, right? Meryl Streep, Sophie's choice. Yeah. Silkwood Meryl Streep, wow!
Starting point is 00:25:57 Wow. Great job. Like, I think Silkwood is really trying to be the polemic against nuclear power that like would like like now we will not do nuclear power now that we have Silkwood and it's like a little too didactic to really hit as a metaphor. So like I feel like Silkwood doesn't work in a way that Sophie's Choice does. Yeah, Silkwood's aged very poorly.
Starting point is 00:26:22 We should get rid of that movie. Yeah. Yeah. How about this emotional appeal that a hunky Dr. Flax lays on T'Pol? He's like, look, you can't make me choose between bug and other bug. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:40 And T'Pol's like, how about we give you more square footage so you don't have to? Done and done. Why would an emotional appeal mean anything to her though? Like, couldn't they have made a little bit more hay of this? I was very intrigued by this moment for that reason. Like this and like Jorah Forementioned's No Dropped Teddy Bear, I feel like,
Starting point is 00:27:00 are what make this not a metaphor for hiding in the London underground during the Blitz. Is this another movie reference? No, like, you know, like in the World War II, like everybody had to go into the subway stations because the Germans were bombing London. Oh yeah. And I thought that that's what we were getting here.
Starting point is 00:27:21 That was the famous lost episode of Friendly Fire, right? Like the last one, wasn't that the one where they hid in the sewers? There are so many last episodes. I think there's like seven episodes of that show that didn't come out. I know. But yeah, something like that.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I mean, like Rachel Weisz was probably giving out hand jobs. Ah. Someone's gonna fucking clip that piece of audio. I'm gonna be so... Wendy, edit that out! Hurry! How about new? There you salty long.
Starting point is 00:28:04 We cut to the catwalk where folks are loading in and they'll have to be there for eight days. Well, the idea of getting to know each other is lightly floated by Tripp Tucker. These aliens are obviously lying about the stellar cartography part of their backstory and they really do not want to be outed as Lying on their resume. No, they want nothing to do with any of these people. So they are going to kind of hide in a Basically like like what happens when you take all the all the cushions off the couch and build yourself a fort like that's what These aliens do for themselves
Starting point is 00:28:41 off the couch and build yourself a fort. Like that's what these aliens do for themselves. You know me very well. And I think you would agree that this would be my sort of behavior in a situation like this. I am going to carve out my space. I mean, you've done that to me on car rides before. So why did Adam bring a shower curtain to the inside of this car?
Starting point is 00:29:08 They said, bring only what you need to survive. And it's like, he got his passport and a curtain. Yeah. Yeah. I hate shower curtains in any other context but that one. So Archer gets to watch the wavefront come in. And it really does look like a slow motion Praxis explosion. But it also, because it's so thin, really looked like something that they should easily
Starting point is 00:29:39 be able to get around, you know? Yeah. Like I know you can't outrun this by going directly away from it, but just go like up. And I think you're going to be okay. We're talking about the Z angle, right? Yeah. Just throw some Z on that bitch and you're
Starting point is 00:29:55 going to be fine. Why didn't anyone say that? Like I just, like the way we just did, it's two seconds. Hey, what about the Z axis? Nope. Can't do that. Like I just, like the way we just did, it's two seconds. Hey, what about the Z axis? Nope, can't do that. Even if it's just no, can't do that. Right. It wouldn't work. Asked and answered. So yeah, they watch it come through. He tells to Paul that he actually like did a little, in the very short amount of time they had to get the nacelles ready for everything,
Starting point is 00:30:25 Archer went and did some research about that Vulcan ship that encountered a storm like this and found out that they in fact got destroyed and not like nearly destroyed as DePaul described it so like she made a choice. A lie? And her choice was to misremember, I guess. This moment combined with your observation of the poorly packed Delfo bags is just a delight to me. Because while everyone is freaking out, like they basically dumped out their dirty clothes into a Delfo bag because that's faster. because that's faster.
Starting point is 00:31:06 Archer has kicked back in the clarinet rental room, like reading about that mission and going, huh, something doesn't quite add up here. Very strange to Paul. Yeah. Nothing is made of this. Like, it's like, were you trying to hide something to Paul? Was there some nefarious reason you didn't go into detail? Was she the only survivor?
Starting point is 00:31:23 Right, like the ship had a name that didn't sound unlike T'Pol. And I was like, oh, like, cause remember that thing in the Bible about maybe T'Pol is like super duper old? Yeah. I keep wondering if they're gonna do anything with that. And like, there was that episode of Lower Decks
Starting point is 00:31:41 that T'Pol showed up in, and that's like a long time from these events. She takes off her top on her honeymoon with Tripp Tucker and her her boobs are just so saggy like whoa! But she's an old lady I mean look at her. You are old! I did not see that coming. I mean, the cat suit is doing a lot of the foundation here. Shout out to the cat suit. That she plays it off as maybe I remembered it incorrectly. There's another moment in this episode where you're like, what's up with T'Pol?
Starting point is 00:32:24 Yeah. Yeah. Like, it kind of puts you on her in a way that, like, you notice her and you think something weird's gonna happen with her. Right. Like, this moment is to her character what Zack Greiner's face is to any character he plays. She's kind of Zack Greiner-ing around a little bit. A little bit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Anyways, they shunt all of the command systems to their improvised LAN party bridge in the nacelle. And then we get the single brass instrument of shutting off main power. I like evacuation scenes. I like turning off the power scenes. It's always interesting. Some of my favorite Star Trek stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:04 A Captain's speech about we're gonna get through this Also a solid Star Trek thing that we get here. This is very brief Do you feel inspired by this? No, I mean But then again, do you need inspiration to like sit in one place for six days? I hate doing that Star Trek podcast thing that's like, you know, I have an idea of how they could do this better, but I have an idea of how they could have done this better. Put the speech during the evacuation.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Right. You've got like the drum beat of the intensity of the pack. You've got people moving in this orderly, disorderly fashion. Get on the one MC and get the captain on there going like, I know this is a crazy situation, but you guys are the best and you got duffel bags full of dirty clothes.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Like double time it. And he's, he's like trying to be stirring, but he sounds like a little distracted because he's doing the speech while trying to read a little bit of history about this Vulcan ship that got destroyed. And he's like, he's really trying to like sell that they will survive this if they work together.
Starting point is 00:34:12 And then he's like kind of seeing a lot of evidence to the contrary. Anyway, the storm absorbs Enterprise after a series of bangers. And after that, it's fairly smooth sailing or coasting as it is, because they're going into this underpowered or unpowered, right? Yeah. So Archer takes a walk around, I guess there's like two nacelles. So there's like a whole B team of people that we don't see at all, but Archer walks around the one that he's in and kind of,
Starting point is 00:34:45 you know, walks amongst the troops, tries to, uh, tries to, you know, keep his chin up. Ben, this is so fucking agonizing when you describe it that way, because the thought of those others, the other 40, who may or may not be making decisions to their own ends. Maybe be planning a mutiny right under your nacelle. Right, there's a riot in the line for the locker. Like, what a conflict builder to even state that they're over there. Yeah. Yeah. It's like going to your friend's birthday party and then you get seated at a table with a bunch of kids you don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:26 You know, like... Ben, you were seated with the adults though. Well, yeah, I mean, because, you know, Debra's an excellent conversationalist. Oh, are they? But like, I love the idea that somebody's like mad about having gotten stuck in Nassau B, you know? Debra, how did you feel about this month's Newsweek?
Starting point is 00:35:48 Cover story. Ben, you're eight. I just think they're doing such interesting things with this DNA research. As stated before, like, like Archer does this sort of walk around, like out of boredom, it seems. It doesn't seem like this is something he would do ordinarily, but he kind of does the rounds. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:10 Nice to know that the NYT Crossword Puzzle app survives this far into the future. Yeah. Hoshi appears to be like brushing her teeth, or whitening her teeth, uh, with a device that she's got. And, uh, the new aliens have a curtain up, uh, as stated before.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Right outside the curtain is the crew card game where Trip Tucker is holding it down. And Archer asks Trip, what is the deal with the curtain aliens? And he takes a break from the card game to tell him they are the sort of neighbors that have a lot of complaints and not a lot of contributions to what's going on on the block. It's not a great scene. Yeah. I mean, we find out later that they can't really eat human food. So maybe those
Starting point is 00:36:55 curtains are up to limit how much of the gas they're passing is making it into the rest of the nacelle. Maybe it's a courtesy curtain. I mean, maybe. It seems like everyone's squeezed in there so tight that flatulence is gonna penetrate the curtain. Yeah, unless it's like an N95 curtain. There's no way people aren't gonna be smelling that. Can't you smell farts through an N95? Do N95s block fart smell? I mean, they're supposed to block particulates, but I guess that's gas too. You want to get more people to wear N95s?
Starting point is 00:37:29 That needs to be on the list of use cases. Yeah, a P100 would definitely block a fart smell. That's what you want. P100 curtain. Guess so. Faith of the fart. You know that feeling when you're trying to build a website and suddenly you're Faith of the fart. You know that feeling when you're trying to build a website and suddenly you're drowning in code? Crying into your keyboard and questioning all of your life's choices?
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Starting point is 00:38:29 meta descriptions and site maps, making sure you show up and search results like that one friend who's always early to everything. So go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash scarves to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Are you tired of pillows that don't feature the faces of your favorite Star Trek podcasters? Well, FOD's the newest drool-worthy merch is now at Podshop.biz, the completely normal and not at all parasocial greatest generation pillow collection.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Now you can rest your weary head on the faces of two guys who are a little bit embarrassed about having a contest about whose face is less attractive based on sales. Check out these options. The Ben pillow. Imagine that it's stuffed with his beard and pubic clippings. Feel the scratchy comfort of. Stubble against your cheek as you drift off to the exact opposite of a wet dream. Or the Adam pillow. You'll sleep so soundly next to his frozen, un-laughing face. The last thing you'll think to do with this pillow is anything weird or bad. And for the true collector, the Ben and Adam Duo Pillow. Double the faces. Double the drool.
Starting point is 00:39:49 Double the concerning devotion to podcast hosts. Let's not explore all the possibilities. But wait, there's one last pillow you'll want to complete your terrifying collection. Our special... Polo! Polo or pillow? Is it polo, poyo, or just pillow? Who knows? It's yet another quiz question, then we'll get totally wrong.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Attention, these pillows are for sleeping only. We know what you're thinking and know humping the pillows. Order now at Podshop.biz and use the code parasocial for 10% off your first concerning purchase. That's Podshop.biz for our new collection of totally normal and not creepy pillows. The Flophouse is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Robert Shaw in Jaws and they're trying to figure out how to get rid of the ghoulies and he scratches his nails and goes, I'll get you a ghoulie. He's just standing above the toilet with a harpoon. No, I'm just looking forward to you going through the other ways
Starting point is 00:40:47 in which Wild Wild West is historically inaccurate. You know how much movies cost nowadays when you add in your popcorn and your bagel bites and your cheese fritters? You can't go wrong with a Henry Cavill mustache. Here at Henry Cavill Mustaches, the only supplier. The Flophouse, new episodes every Saturday. Find it at MaximumFun.org.
Starting point is 00:41:08 Ego Some John Hodgman. At Ego Some Janet Varney. And we're the hosts of E Pluribus Motto, a podcast dedicated to exploring the mottos of every state in the Union. Every episode we will spotlight one state and discuss its official symbols, the motto, flowers, birds, beverages, songs, and even official state muffins. Plus we'll hear from guests whose lives have been inspired by the state's iconography and from residents
Starting point is 00:41:32 who call that state home. Bring some snacks, a map, and your travel journal because this podcast is a virtual journey like no other. Au de nostrum e pluribus motto quaili batalia luni de maximum fun. And for the Latin challenged among you and us, listen to E Pluribus Motto every other Monday on Maximum Fun. And you will never take the greatest in a life.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Ben would rather die. Reed goes to Sixth Bay for some antinagia medication. Doesn't really go anywhere. Archer goes up to the... bridge and gives Mayweather a couple of directions before turning in, which just means leaning against a bulkhead and watching TikToks about water polo games. Which DePaul finds very irritating.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Because he's not using headphones. Yeah, all he needed was a set of headphones, and this would have been fine. It feels like there's just more and more sub-basements to how shitty Archer is. What the fuck are you doing? Wear headphones in a public space if you're gonna watch something on your device. This is a rule of greatest gen, Ben. It just is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:49 But to a certain extent, Star Trek is a post-apocalyptic sci-fi, right? The Third World War, the post-atomic horror, the war that they fought against Khan's people, which I forget the name of, is all horrific shit. And maybe they lost AirPod technology and all that. You know, the playing of audio out of a device in a public space is proof that the post-atomic horror continues. Yeah. Unabated.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Or maybe this is just a cultural thing, like post-, post-Ooby Dooby, like, everybody wants to play everything on speakers, you know, like, when we made friends over in Ooby Dooby with the Vulcans, that proved to us that headphones were not going to be a part of our culture going forward. I'm tired of boorish behavior being recategorized as cultural. Have a little fucking consideration, is my camp. Playing anything on a personal device would be awful, but that it's Polo does mean only one thing.
Starting point is 00:43:59 We're about to find out if Ben will feel like a piece of shit after playing the hit game show within a podcast. Wow! Holo! Holo or boyo? I told you, best sport in the world. One part basketball, one part swimming, one part wrestling. I didn't even know it was such a rough game.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Wow, I didn't even see that coming. Ben, I've tried to make this easy on you this time. Oh, okay. All right? Today's game is three true or false questions. One about horse polo. Okay. One about water polo.
Starting point is 00:44:37 And one about chicken recipes. Okay. Are you ready to play? I feel good about this. True or false? Due to a highly contagious equine disease outbreak in the late 1890s, the 1900 Paris Olympic Games polo matches were played on bicycles rather than horses,
Starting point is 00:44:58 with teams using mallets to strike the ball while cycling around the field. True or false Ben? Oh man, that sounds rad. It kind of feels like that's awesome enough that if it had happened there would be lots of cool pictures of it and like people in Brooklyn would have been doing it, you know, like in some like bombed out lot in Red Hook. On those bikes with the big front wheel and the tiny back wheel.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Oh, Penny Farthing? I'm gonna say false. Correct. Wow! I can't remember the last time I said that. Wow! I can't remember the last time I said that. Ben, while Velocipede Polo or bicycle polo did exist in the early 1900s, the 1900 Paris Olympics featured traditional horse-mounted polo.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Moving on to question two, true or false? In professional water polo prior to 1976, goalkeepers were prohibited from crossing the halfway line during play, even during penalty shots, leading to the famous Budapest empty net strategy. The famous, I mean who among us hasn't given some consideration to the Budapest empty nest? Let's just consider for a moment the possible Budapest erasure on the line here, depending on Ben's answer. True or false?
Starting point is 00:46:37 I think rule changes are a thing that sports should revisit from time to time to keep the game fresh and interesting. So I'm gonna go with true. Wrong! Damn it! There was never such a restriction on water polo goalkeepers. While goalkeepers do have specific rules about their movement, they've always been allowed to cross the halfway line. One correct, one incorrect for you, Ben. Here's the tiebreaker. True or false? The dish, polo a la ventina from Guadalajara
Starting point is 00:47:14 traditionally requires the chicken to be marinated for exactly 43 hours in a mixture that includes both chocolate and dried grasshoppers. Hmm. Trying to think if Guadalajara is in the state of Oaxaca or if it is in its own state, because those grasshoppers and that chocolate seems like it would be a Oaxaca thing. Sure does. You'd think, wouldn't it? At 43, There's like that
Starting point is 00:47:47 liquor quarantine trace There's such a specificity to like 43 hours that I found Very interesting very interesting Go with false Final answer? Final answer. Correct. While pollo a la ventina is indeed a famous dish from Guadalajara, it's actually chicken covered in a spicy sauce from dried chilies and does not involve chocolate or grasshoppers. Ben, for the very first time, you have won Polo Polo or Pollo.
Starting point is 00:48:33 God damn, this feels good. Congratulations. I didn't know it was such a rough game. Wow. Is this what feeling high on cocaine is like? I promised you I would make it easier for you and I did, and now I feel like shit. The next game of Polo Polo Apoio, I'm gonna annihilate you. You're gonna die in the next game.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Yeah. Yeah. So T'Pol stares at Archer and then when asked, shares that, yes, it does bother her that he's playing his polo match out in the open like this, which is way more consideration than most people in public are ever afforded. Yeah. Archer kind of orders to Paul to, like, make better friends with the crew during this trying time. That doesn't go anywhere either.
Starting point is 00:49:22 I'm not skilled at fraternizing. We cut over to Reed and Tripp's card game, and they're kind of at each other's throats at this point, which is, like, interesting, given that, like, these two guys know from hunkering down in a spaceship during an emergency together, but, like, Reed fucking hates Tripp and is, like, pissed off at the situation.
Starting point is 00:49:45 And it was so distracting that I almost didn't notice that we see the chef for the first time in this episode. But it's like, he's the Muppet Baby's mom. Like, you just see a striped chef socks. Yeah. But the animation of the seam going up the calf on those stockings as the calf pivots in front of the camera, one of the great moments in Golden Age animation history. Just another fucking atrocity of a moment for Reed's character. Like, things are just barely bad and he is freaking out about showers and pot roast.
Starting point is 00:50:24 You knew we'd be stuck in here for over a week. You might have given a little thought to making it tolerable. Pot roast is good. Shut up, Reed. Reed is not good in a situation that is even barely uncomfortable. Oh, we got to watch a movie here too? What the fuck? Meanwhile, the aliens are grilling in their tent and this is when we learned that they can't digest the food.
Starting point is 00:50:54 Interesting moment, cause they're like, oh, you know, you're right. We should, it was very inconsiderate of us to fire up the barbecue grill without checking with you guys if it was okay or if we had set it up over top of a highly explosive piece of equipment You really want to separate out your chicken wings too Like you don't want to clump them all together in a pot like that if you're gonna get some good crisp, right?
Starting point is 00:51:17 They're gonna steam each other and that's not what you're going for from a you know, doneness perspective so trip walks off in a huff and goes up to the makeshift bridge where he gets bad news about the antimatter injectors having come online kind of spontaneously. And he's ranting and raving about the aliens and how they chant and walk around at night and how they're just driving him crazy. And suddenly his train of thought is broken because the matter injectors also come online and that just makes no sense. Not only that, but they can't be shut down remotely, which means someone has got to consider
Starting point is 00:52:04 the Steve Zahn Contingency in this moment. Someone's gonna have to go down there to shut him off and that person is Tripp Tucker Who is made to wear a protective suit that's only good for 22 minutes Yeah, 22 minutes. I lasted 22 minutes It's a good thing they're right above engineering or whatever, right? Like it's a pretty short walk. Yeah, they're just like, you know, don't hang out too long. But yeah, go ahead and go down there and fix this.
Starting point is 00:52:33 So off he goes. And when he gets to engineering, there's like somebody's stuff left on the floor in there. Yeah. And he hears like movement in the compartment. I love this move when he shuts off all the lights on his suit. I feel like this is a mistake they make in movies
Starting point is 00:52:51 all the time where somebody's creeping around a warehouse with a pistol and a flashlight and they hear something and they don't cut the light. It's like, that's gonna draw them right to you. Exactly. Yeah, good job by Tripp. We only get the barest glimpses of these guys at first, but it's guys in uniform, but they have similar loaf to our guests. And there are a ton of them. They're like all over the ship. He is like seeing him in the hallways. They don't seem to be wearing any kind of protective equipment. And I was like,
Starting point is 00:53:29 oh man, like have these aliens been spoofing the sensors and like making them believe that there's a reason to hunker when there isn't? It's funny how visually patrol is code for number of people because like as Tripp starts skulking around, like avoiding capture or discovery, like you see some folks almost marching past and like that reads as far different when you're trying to figure out how many people are aboard. Like if it were just two dudes with phaser rifles
Starting point is 00:54:02 skulking around, like waving flashlights around. In my mind, I'm like, there are six people on board, but that there's actual like patrols suggests that there are far more. There's a lot. And that is also suggested by the ship that has attached itself to the entrepreneur that he sees out the window.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Great moment, huh? Yeah. It's awesome. So we meet the boss of these aliens, an older gentleman who gets a report from one of his underlings that they're looking for fugitives, in fact. These guys are looking for the guys that the entrepreneur took in. This guy has a great voice. What's the status of the warp engines?
Starting point is 00:54:48 And you may recognize hearing it. It's Danny Goldring. He played one of the crew people in the killing game. He's a, who were those aliens? Herogen. The Herogen. Yeah. He's got a Herogen voice even now. He really does.
Starting point is 00:55:01 So back on the catwalk, Trip has, has run back and reported this and we've like cut all the way to FLOX scanning their, their guests and discovering that these guys are immune to the stuff in the wavefront that is buffeting the ship right now. What a great sequence that was, I thought. Like we don't get Trip getting out of the suit or anything. It's like smash cut to tribunal scene, basically. Yeah. And these guys know the jig is up. So one of them confesses, like, okay, like,
Starting point is 00:55:33 we deserted this militia. The militia are the guys that are walking around on your ship right now. We quit because we had, like, moral qualms with the way the militia conducts itself. We kind of think that they're... We thought it was gonna be like being in the military, but in fact, they're just pirates and they like steal people's shit all the time.
Starting point is 00:55:50 And we didn't like it. So we're running from them. It's a tale as old as time, Ben. Like, I just want to, I want to go to a barn and play pool and drink beers with my buddies and maybe like shoot bottles off of a fence post. And then you're like knocking off vessels and stealing all their shit. and drink beers with my buddies and maybe shoot bottles off of a fence post. And then you're knocking off vessels and stealing all their shit two weeks later. That's no fun. I know.
Starting point is 00:56:12 Things accelerated really quickly. Yeah. I love the vulnerability that this episode establishes with where they're hiding though, because the aliens on the bridge and in engineering are working on turning the engines back on. And we know that that will put it up to oven temperatures in the catwalk where, where they're hiding. Do you feel like that's going to be a low and slow situation or is that going to be kind of a blast furnace situation in there?
Starting point is 00:56:38 I think, I mean, 300 is like, I mean, that's not, not hot enough to Brown. You need to get up to like 325 probably for that. So I think the answer is like, you're gonna live kind of a long time in a great amount of pain. Yeah, yeah. It's like going to a Russian bathhouse, you know? Going into that hot room.
Starting point is 00:56:59 Yeah, it's a little hotter than the hottest sauna. Cause I think even the hottest saunas are less than 300, right? It's like, that's like 240. Yeah. And there's no enormous Russian dude whacking you with a tea tree branch. 230, 240, whatever it takes. Very Biners explanation that these aliens give, right?
Starting point is 00:57:20 About, they're pressed. Why didn't you just tell us this before? Why didn't you just tell us this before? Why didn't you just ask for help? And the whole, we were afraid that Archer would say no thing as given as the excuse. Yeah. We hear this all the time in Star Trek. Yeah. You might've said no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:39 So we got to throw a couple of wooden shoes around the ship to make sure that warp power doesn't come back on when the entire crew is up in these nacelles. And so Reed, Archer, and T'Pol suit up in the only three EVA suits that they have to go do that. They split up. Archer goes to somewhere in the kitchen to do something. And Reed and T'Pol are working on the, like, engineering piece of this that Trip is talking them through. But Archer sends a hail to the main bridge and gets on FaceTime with the lead pirate dude. I did not understand the performance choice here,
Starting point is 00:58:20 because Archer is playing it like he's taking a shit. No, why don't you... get the hell off my ship? I am right with you on that. I thought he was kind of Hollywooding how much pain he was in in order to get the captain thinking that his enemy was wounded and, like, creating an environment where, like, he could set some traps or something,
Starting point is 00:58:43 and, like, he was actually far healthier than he was portraying himself as. Yeah. I also could not get on this level. Yeah. It seemed unmotivated. I do like the conflict between Archer and this alien captain. I mean, whether or not Archer's in pain for it, if we could set that aside a little bit, the joy that Archer derives from the happy privilege
Starting point is 00:59:06 of connecting a starship with an auto-destruct system. Like, it's great to see. You'll love to see it. And that's the threat that's leveled here before he hangs up the FaceTime on this guy. Yeah. This guy wants to find Archer, believing Archer to be the only survivor of the initial shock of the wave front. Like Archer goes to leave the kitchen
Starting point is 00:59:28 and gets in a great big gunfight, replete with exploding heads of Napa cabbage, with the guys that the leader sent to grab him. Isn't a kitchen such a great location for something like this? Yeah, it's awesome. There's so much energy with like the sway of ladles. Yeah. I mean, if Jurassic Park proved one thing, a ladle is a great way to
Starting point is 00:59:53 establish danger in a kitchen combat scenario. It's metal bowls making a terrific racket. Yeah. And this is like one of those combat sequences where part of the combat is the way they're flying the ship into bangers so that people get knocked around. And Mayweather is like flying the ship toward these, uh, these plasma eddies. And fortunately, like after a few close shaves, T'Pol is able to get port power back offline.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Like the heating lamps had come on and like started to warm things up in the nacelles, but she gets all that stuff off offline. They're kind of in a warming drawer when the nacelles come back online. Right. Yeah. It's like they've, they've proofed, but they haven't baked. Yeah, exactly. It's like they've proofed, but they haven't baked.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Yeah, exactly. Uh... So with no warp power and no hope of surviving a direct collision with a plasma Eddie, the head alien guy, signals the retreat to his people. They even grab the guy that Archer stunned, which I was like, damn it, I wanted them to have that guy on board and then like have to deal with that later. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:07 But like in some episodes of Voyager, when the bad guys get away, I kind of like the idea that like, they're just out there. They're out there and they're fucking mad about what happened. Uh-huh. Yeah. So, uh, they're still flying
Starting point is 01:01:20 toward this eddy because they have no way of knowing in the land party bridge whether or not there are still invaders on board the ship. Fortunately, Archer Radio's up that the bad guys have all gone just in time for Travis to steer them away from an Eddie. And I was really waiting for like a moment where like the Eddie like caught hold of the ship and just flung it free of the cloud. Yeah. But no, they stay another few days in the nacelles. And I can't imagine how paranoid they must have been
Starting point is 01:01:55 about whether anybody had clamped onto their ship for those remaining days. It's two days of a really haunted feeling that you don't get at all. Yeah. Skipping past that part. They don't just have movie night during their hunker. They also have watching old episodes of Kung Fu night.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Is that what this was? I thought this was just a Western movie. I looked it up. They were watching Kung Fu. How about that? That's fun. Yeah. And, uh, say a fond farewell to their fugitives. They were watching Kung Fu. How about that? That's fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:29 And, uh, say a fond farewell to their fugitives. Trip, like, uh, Elbows Reed. He's like, uh, hey, you know that, that David Carradine died. Why don't you try that, Reed? See how, see how far you can get. You can even borrow my belt. And I'll give you a little peek at my forearm before you head off to the makeshift latrine to give it a try.
Starting point is 01:03:04 Can you imagine like you've been standing in line for hours to get to the makeshift latrine and then you're like knocking on the door, like, come on, man, there's so many people waiting. Then the door finally kind of like swings idly open and a auto erotic asphyxiated read dangles out of it. Like he's obviously hanging on the door, right? So like the door takes a little bit more effort to open. There he is.
Starting point is 01:03:28 And like out wafts just the cheapest pineapple candle smell coming out of there. It's like, you know, like Yankee candle, pineapple, shit smell. I know I've had to take shit bad enough to where if I opened up the door to the latrine and Reed were in there having hung himself, I would have to close the door behind me
Starting point is 01:03:56 and like get shit done and deal with that later. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And Mr. Pranika, the record shows that the body had Rick or Mortis set in already before you ever placed the 911 call. How do you account for that interval of time? What did you do? You want to compound a terrible situation with something worse? We're all packed under the nacelle, like so many sardines. You want one of us covered in their own shit?
Starting point is 01:04:49 I don't think so. Well, does this episode compound a terrible situation with something worse, Adam? How did you like this one? ["The Last Supper"] This felt like a little, it was a little under siege-y to me. Except for like 20 minutes. I wish the revelation of the ship takeover had happened earlier, if only to give us more
Starting point is 01:05:21 fun under siege moments. You know? Like that part was postponed until so late that it was just a tease of the potential of what that could be. That said, I mean, I love stories like this. This felt a little bit like the TNG episode where they do the Barry on sweep.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Like I love- Totally, Starship Mine. Yeah, exactly. Like having to retreat from a ship for reasons and then having the ship get taken over. Yeah. It's a Star Trek tale as old as time and it's one of the greatest hits, I think. It is. That's why they keep doing it.
Starting point is 01:05:56 And I love the idea that this story didn't have a resolution. Like these folks are still out there. The wave is still out there. Yeah. I dug it quite a bit. And I mean, personally, it has been a month since I've watched a Star Trek Enterprise episode. It was nice to get back into it with you. How about you? Yeah, it sure was. I agree. I think that we had a lot of ideas for interesting ways they
Starting point is 01:06:19 could take this episode as we talked through it that felt like they sort of undermined my appreciation of the episode overall, where I kept kind of going like... Because we're so good at that. Yeah, like wouldn't it have been nice if it had gone this way? And one that I don't think I gave voice to is like, what if there had been another twist and these guys hadn't actually been fugitives,
Starting point is 01:06:41 but kind of like the bait that these guys use to, you know, like they do this all the time. Like they just follow this wavefront around the universe and steal ships that get caught in it because they have this unique adaptation to not be poisoned by it. You're telling me Zach Grenier is not bait? Of course he's bait. That's what I'm saying. Like, like when you have him, of course he's bait. Of course he is the bad one, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, our first instinct was correct.
Starting point is 01:07:11 That's what it should have been. You know, that felt like a missed opportunity, but overall, a very fun episode, and I really liked watching some more Star Trek after a month of not. Absolutely. Well, Adam, do you want to see if we have anything fun in our Priority One inbox, which we also haven't looked at in over a month?
Starting point is 01:07:33 Oh, God, the P1 inbox is 300 degrees, Ben. It's piping hot. I wonder what's still in there. Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secure channel. Need a supplemental income. Supplemental income. Supplemental. Supplemental. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship.
Starting point is 01:07:54 Adam, we got a promotional message here. It goes like this. A while ago, after starting a re-listen of the entire TGG run, I committed to sending a new P1 each time I heard one of my old P1s in the stacks. I've sent several and turns out they rarely glistened the way I thought they would when I wrote them. So I've decided instead to bump my monthly contributions. This is likely my final P1 and this is the point. Ben and Adam and crew give us something truly special each week Please support them and all your favorite creatives. That's how this works and the call to action is just support
Starting point is 01:08:33 Chris is right support the things you like Yeah, so they stick around as long as possible. Indeed. That's a good reminder. We really appreciate it and We give up a slightly bigger rip on P1s than we do on monthly support, so your dollar goes a little bit further towards supporting our show. If you don't have a message you need to get out, monthly support is a great way to make sure the lights stay on around here. Yeah. Don't wait for someone else to do the right thing.
Starting point is 01:09:01 You can do the right thing. Indeed. Ben, we've got a message here, interestingly enough, sent by Past Chris to Future Chris. Is this the same Chris as the promotional message? Let's find out. Happy birthday, self! Remember that J.L. Pipes was 47 when he became captain of the Enterprise? Or 49 now. I know it's not fair to hold oneself to the same standard, but we should have at least been a pretend captain on a Del Sol for a few years by now. At this rate, we'll be lucky to be a pretend 55-year-old Space Ensign. Get busy living
Starting point is 01:09:42 from self. I don't feel like that resolved whether it was the same Chris or not, but I like the spirit of this. Like let's get a little motivated in the new year. I think what we have here are two messages in a row that are like, don't wait. Get in there and do it.
Starting point is 01:10:01 Do what you're thinking of doing. A theme is emerging. Yeah, from the Chris's. Both Chris's. Both Chris's or the one Chris. Support you to that end. Final P1 today is from Katie, JJ and Diana and it's to Jared Wilson. Goes like this, shout out to the galaxy's best husband and father. Thank you for experiencing as much beege as you have to with us. You're a way better dad than Worf.
Starting point is 01:10:28 Low bar. You're there for us more than the number 47. Your wife would keep a candle lit, give up everything to move to a weird Scottish planet for you, but she's glad she doesn't have to. Moopsy! Hey, that's a nice shadow. How about that? A long-term committed husband and wife relationship where there's still bish in it, Ben.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Yeah. Who says when you get married, all the bish goes away? Pretty great. It doesn't have to. No. That's a nice thing to learn. Yeah. What a nice message there.
Starting point is 01:11:07 I'm gonna take this information into my life and see if anything can be done. Honey, I just read this priority one message. For my Star Trek podcast? Wait, wait, wait, let me start over. Like the sound of tires screeching and leaving the driveway. Both kids left behind. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:11:34 Thank you for not leaving priority win messages behind. P1s are a great thing in supporting the production of our shows. And you can write the words that we will speak and also make fun of. I go to maximumfun.org slash jumbotron. And we really appreciate them. Sure do. Hey Adam.
Starting point is 01:11:57 What's happening? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? Incredible. Drunk Shimoda. I don't wanna make it read because I just fucking hate Reed so much. But in the way that we've called attention to several times, like there are moments in this episode
Starting point is 01:12:12 where a character behavior just seems off enough where you're like, what's up with that guy? Do I need to keep an eye on him? And Reed had another example of this, like, dude, you can't go eight days without a shower without freaking out. And maybe you have pot roast twice in an eight day span. Pot roast?
Starting point is 01:12:34 Chill the fuck out. Like the code for this stuff should be never be the worst part of a bad situation. And it feels like Reed has had like six bites of that already on this show. Like, shit goes down, shit is bad, and Reed makes it worse. Whether you're on Star Trek or you're in real life, you just can't do that. Don't be the worst part of it. And that's what Reed is in this episode. You can't just skip lunch. You can't just serve pot roast twice in three days.
Starting point is 01:13:10 You just can't guys. Whose bag says... I don't think that's allowed. You imagine how that sketch plays if he's like pushing pot roast through a totally soaked sleeve. Is that a pot roast? Just a full-sized potato, like just hitting the desk.
Starting point is 01:13:36 A pineapple in there. Sorry, sir. I've never been so tired. I'm the tiredest I've ever been. What about you, Ben? This is like kind of a high-concept Shimoda, but we learned in that McLaughlin group that Six-Bay was okay.
Starting point is 01:13:55 It never made sense that Phlox got moved to a nacelle. Yeah. What we do know about Phlox is that he is long overdue for his nap. This is a perfect opportunity for Phlox to take a nap. Like the happy privilege should be the couple of people that get to hang out in Six Bay taking care of the critters while Phlox sleeps. You know? Whole lot of netting in the Phlox area of the nacelle.
Starting point is 01:14:23 Kind of feels like he could hammock one of those nuts out, you know? Mm-hmm. Let flocks sleep. Yeah. So, uh, for not sticking up for his, his nap time, a nap time that seemed so tantalizingly close, a nap time I would kill for. I, I rarely see this look in your eyes, Ben. I believe you. I believe you would kill someone, like a stranger, obviously, or actually maybe someone that you met once. I think that's probably as far as it goes.
Starting point is 01:14:55 I would plan it and I would execute on that plan. I would like disappear into Central Park and take my fucking nap. Would you tauntaun the person you killed? Is that part of this? Yeah, I mean, I thought they looked like they smelled bad on the outside, but you gotta keep warm somehow.
Starting point is 01:15:17 Well, let's wrap this thing up and we gotta, here's what I want you to do. Get a nap after this episode and don't tell anyone. You're out in the studio recording. That sounds so good. I wish that was in the cards for me, but it ain't. Faith of the fart. What is in the cards is the next episode
Starting point is 01:15:36 of Star Trek Enterprise, season two, episode 13. Dawn. During a solo test mission on Shuttlepod 1, Trip is attacked by a territorial alien and forced to land on the night side of a moon. I tripped the Dawn because it was like a thumbnail of Trip's face when I clicked on it and it came up. Yeah, a shirtless thumbnail, as I recall in the Paramount Plus app, a
Starting point is 01:16:05 Paramount Plus app that is now force feeding me commercials before I watch episodes of enterprise. Cool. I get different thumbnails in the, uh, in the Paramount Plus side loaded into Apple TV thing that I use and no commercials. Well, I mean, that's a reason I should get the fuck off of that app. Yeah. Although there's like reportage in your being on it. Like I like hearing about how that app is going.
Starting point is 01:16:32 We had a friend of DeSoto email and ask like, hey, I have to like for work, meet with the chief technology officer of Paramount pretty soon. What should I say? It's like, I don't think what we would want to say would, uh, it would be good for your long-term employment prospects. I mean, what I would do is, uh, unplug that person's computer from the network so that they can't continue to hurt people. All right, Adam, I am heading over to gach.biz slash game where we keep the game of butt holes, the will of the Riker quantum leap.
Starting point is 01:17:22 I'm going to go and roll this 100-sided die. We've got our runabout on square 24 right now. 100-sided die could take us anywhere. You're required to learn as you play. Roll. Anywhere. Anywhere. Anywhere.
Starting point is 01:17:41 Oh, man, I jumped just over another square. We keep coming danger close to these squares. I'm on square 63 right next to a porthos cheese plague. Tula! Did I win? Hardly. Remind people what that is. That's one where we have to review some cheeses at the beginning of the episode.
Starting point is 01:18:01 That sounds pretty nice as these squares go. Yeah. Hey, we just finished the Star Trek Podcrawl as of the release of this episode. And I want to thank everybody that participated in that. We're recording this before it, so I don't have an update on whether or not we hit our fundraising goal for the National Center for Science Education.
Starting point is 01:18:24 But startrekpodcrawl.com is where or not we hit our fundraising goal for the National Center for Science Education. But StarTrekPodCrawl.com is where you go if you'd like to kick 10 bucks toward a great cause. Thanks to all of the great podcasts that participated in the pod crawl and made it such a special thing. Yeah, it was a really cool experience. We've talked about how we network with other Star Trek podcasts for a long time. Not just in a rap battle context, but in a, why don't we get together and do some good?
Starting point is 01:18:52 And you're too modest to say this, Ben, but this was your idea. You pitched it, the team helped put it together, a bunch of other podcasts agreed to do it, and I'm really proud and happy for your work here. You did a great job. It was a total team effort. Couldn't have been done without you and Wendy and Rob and all of the other producers that helped us out on it and all of the other great hosts that helped us out on it. I'm really glad that all of those connections have been made
Starting point is 01:19:25 and we can all communicate with each other now because like there is a group email thread among all of the participants so really cool that that happened and really cool that so many great shows said yes to this sort of harebrained long-shot idea and, huge thank you to everyone listening who listened and participated. And if you're new to the show because of the pod crawl, welcome. This show and our episode of the pod crawl was produced by our great producer, Windy Pretty. Music You're Hearing is by Dark Materia, but all our theme and interstitial music is from
Starting point is 01:20:03 Adam Ragusea, our co-host for the Wholesome podcast that we do on Patreon. Yeah. Check that out. Patreon.com slash Wholesome underscore pod. We got to thank Rob Adler, our social media director, and the Card Daddy, Bill Tilly, our temporal Cold War time consigniary. Those two guys run the at greatest trek social media accounts all over the internet.
Starting point is 01:20:26 Throw those a follow and find some friends of DeSoto online. They're a great group of people who would love to hang out with you and you know do some Star Trek shit posting or whatever. I was just on Bill Tilley's podcast during our break. Had a blast talking about Iron Eagle with him and ex-producer Rob so check that out. Very fun go listen to that go listen to Wholesome go listen to Greatest Trek our other show and with that we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an
Starting point is 01:21:02 episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise where Tripp Tucker will probably make a mistake and when he does he'll probably say DUMB! You could really do yourself a favor by changing those light bulbs, fellas. That's all you gotta do. Maximum Fun, a workaround network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.

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