The Greatest Generation - Nice Implants (S3E26)

Episode Date: October 5, 2016

When a hot shot young commander starts angling for Commander Riker's job, it is fortuitous timing that Captain Picard gets kidnapped by the Borgs. The newly-promoted Riker plays it cool while doing everything he can to get him back, but when Picard shows up on FaceTime with some gaudy new implants, he decides to end their relationship. What is the Borgs' target demographic? Is Commander Shelby giving off Ivanka Trump vibes? Does losing Picard qualify as "acceptable losses" to Worf? It's the episode where we do an unnecessary Indiana Jones roll!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdisotoforlabor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Welcome to the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm your host Benjamin R. Harrison. I'm your other host, Adam Pranaka.

And welcome to all our new listeners who are probably cruising through our listings, looking for the episodes that they remember and recognize. This is probably the first one that a lot of people are going to listen to, right? Oh, no, that's so much pressure. I know, right? Well, first of all, they're not listeners, they're viewers, and they should get to know that very early, very often. Well put.

We make a lot of vocal mistakes on this show and that is one that has stuck. We make mistakes and then we stick to them and they become canon. Yeah, we stick to our guns. Ben I'm back in in palatial cat pee studios after almost three weeks in Victorville, California. The good news about Victorville is that they have many low-cost hotel options and just about nothing to do except drink. So. I was there for work, but as a side benefit,

I was down there scouting for locations for greatest GenCon 2017. Yeah, did you, now I know that you checked out two different hotels, one, now I know that you checked out two different hotels. Oh, I did. One of which I creepily discovered was La Quinta because I was trying to use that app on my phone that tells you where your wife is. Uh-huh. And there's some reason we have our locations shared.

For some reason I told you where my wife was. No, it should be where you were. I think we have our locations shared with each other. Oh, about that. You know, it's like that find my friends app. Yeah. it should be where you were. I think we have our locations shared with each other. You know, it's like that find my friends app. Yeah. Oh, we left that on. Yeah, and it was like the only hit I was getting

was Adam Prenica, and I was like, oh, I wonder where Adam Prenica is right now, and it was like, like, Quinta Inn right next to the highway. You use that word hotel. I'm not sure that word means what you think it means. And I'm not sure the people of Victorville are aware of its true definition either. Yeah, I think that's pretty generous.

It's called either the places I stayed hotels, which is to say that they are perfect candidates for greatest stand-con 2017. Yeah. The place is where if you do that thing that people do in movies where you actually jump up in the air a little bit so that you come down on the bed like all at once, the bed disassembles,

and it's actually just bedbugs that scatter to the four corners of the earth. There is only one rule that I have about business travel. Have I told you this? Fists with your toes. One rule and one rule that I have about business travel. Have I told you this? Fists with your toes. One rule and one rule only, and that is, never look under your hotel room bed. I know, I know, it sounds crazy. Trust me, I've been doing it for nine years.

If a shoe accidentally rolls under the bed, the shoe's done. That should have gone. Yeah. Not reaching it. One rule only. Yeah. Well, I recorded the last episode from one of those hotel rooms. I'm not sure if anyone, any of our viewers

was able to detect that, but it was a real shit show, a very loud room. Yeah, hotel rooms are not necessarily great for audio recording purposes. You would have really liked my shock mount setup where I stuck my microphone into a shoe. I put it on a desk. Was this a remaining shoe? The other one's gone to the world.

That's what happens. You lose one shoe. The other one becomes a shock mount. It's great. Well, I think people are probably pretty eager for us to get into this situation here. They're done with our Marin preamble. Yeah. All right.

Enough Marinning. All right, let's do it then. Let's start season three Episode 26. The best of both worlds. Part one. This is becoming a speech. Here the cat comes to very tightly. I'm not going to type it. I ramble on. I laugh something everyone knows. The episode starts with like a super score forward, Cynthia ominousness from Ron Jones. Like, it's a total tone setter straight away, isn't it? Yeah, I think it's more tense than your average cold open,

where Troy's gonna suggest that Captain Picard go on vacation. You know, you can tell some shit is about to go down. And the beginning of the episode is Riker assembling a very elite dustbuster club and getting ready to beam down to an outpost that they've been getting to stress signal from. And as they're assembling in the transporter room, O'Brien is saying that there's like nothing on the scans. Like they cannot detect this outpost down there at all.

And everything okay over there, buddy? Yeah, just popped a bottle. You're doing great. Okay. Yeah, so they're not detecting any signals from the colony and There's no reason to think that there's anything dangerous down there, but Shit is not what What they were they're not finding what they expected to find and it's not a fun-looking planet either

It's got real LV426 vibes from orbit Yeah, but when they beam down, I mean, it looks like it was probably fine, except for they're in the middle of like, a fucking huge crater. And that huge crater is on the edge of another even huge crater. And they're like, they're like, chief, what gives?

We wanted to be beam down into the middle of town. They thought it was another one of Chief O'Brien's popular transporter tricks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're like, come on. All right, chief, quick kiddin' around. Put it down where you said you were going to. Chief O'Brien's wearing his body glove wetsuit, like with the top part unzipped and just folded that is waste.

Yeah, one nipple showing. Yeah, so this is quickly revealed to be the Borgs. Oh no! Looks like two giant ice cream scoops just took massive scoops out of the surface of this planet and there's just nothing left. They do the pan over before the opening theme and you see the devastation from side to side. Yeah, and it's a matte painting, but it's a pretty cool effect.

It's definitely like a big upgrade on what anybody can, you look like. Yeah. And it's pretty wild like the edges of the crater have like the plumbing sticking out into it and stuff. Very fun. Like they definitely like did this one right. Yeah. When we come back from the main title theme, another ship has shown up. I don't think it's the hood, but it kind of looks like the same

class of ship, maybe. And we've got Admiral Hanson and Commander Shelby. And they are from Starfleet Tactical. And we've got Admiral Hanson and Commander Shelby, and they are from Starfleet Tactical. You might recognize Admiral Hanson as the guy who played God in Star Trek V. Did you know that? Oh shit, really? Same guy. Oh man, classic.

They make kind of an odd couple, this Shelby and Admiral Hanson. Shelby is played by Brian Denny his daughter Elizabeth Denny. No way. Which is kind of awesome. And Hanson right away is a little bit creepy about her. Keep your eye on hers. They have a little meeting with Picard in the Ready Room. Hanson and Shelby and Picard are talking things over about what happened on the planet surface. And Shelby's dismissed and that leaves Hanson and Picard to talk things out. Turns out they were close friends, they've been close friends for a long time. You seem rather taken with a JP.

Close enough to where Hanson feels comfortable saying... Just an old man's fantasies. Gross. He kind of like Ivanka Trump's her, right? Gross Admiral Hanson. Yeah, if she wasn't like my lieutenant commander, maybe I'd be dating her. Oh, jeez.

Yeah. I don't know if we're supposed to, but that is a great technique for making me hate a character. And buckle up, Ben. I'm going to use the entire episode to just get Hanson the entire time. I hate him so much. Okay, strapping in. I've got a six point harness here in my podcasting chair. So I used to have the five point. Now I've got the six point. I've got the Hans device. I'm ready to go.

Yeah, you sound a little muffled, but you're coming in clear enough. One of the other things that Hanson and Picard talk about is is Riker's career. This is something that Picard doesn't know about at the time, but Hanson's like, look, people like Shelby, they're on the way up. She's kicking ass. She's a real go-getter. Right. She's kind of a type A try hard personality type. Yeah. And Hanson's like, look, she's the future of this federation. And I'm looking at Riker, carousing around the enterprise,

staying in workplace, turning down ship after ship. All the damage he did to the holodex on the hood. I mean, like, it's starting to be like a patchwork of fairly dubious things on his record. Yeah, Hanson's point is like, why don't we give him his own ship and just send him far away from the rest of us where he can't hurt anyone? Yeah. And Picard's like, well, Riker's career is his own choice. I tend to stay out of that.

And Hanson's like, well, maybe you better give him a kick in the butt because Shelby's going to pass him by and then where's he going to be? He's going to stop getting these offers. Yeah. You turn down enough promotions eventually the phone steps ringin'. So here's the question. Hanson is real sweet on Shelby

and given his closeness with Picard, we can presume that he knows about Picard's sexual perclivities. Why is he trying to palm her off on him? Maybe because he's an admiral and his interactions with the enterprise are so numerous that it would mean greater contact with Shelby going forward if she were stationed on the enterprise. I don't know. Well also maybe, you know, a lot of people who are

very dominant in their kind of in their regular life wind up being very submissive in the bedroom. It's like they kind of turn it around. So sure Yeah, maybe maybe she and Picard are more compatible than I initially gave them credit for yeah, good see that anyways You don't see it yet, but it's foreshadowed a bit, that there is going to be a baked intention between Riker and Shelby, like the go getter and the stay putter are set up to lock horns, which they do almost immediately, because the next thing that the crew needs to do

is go down the next morning and study these craters to see if they can confirm once and for all if the Borg were involved in this attack. Yeah, and so just to like get it all straight, Shelby is kind of like the Borg's czar to coin a term. Like she's like the Federation's leading expert on the Borg's despite the fact that she's never actually confronted them and the enterprise is the only ship that has. Yeah. So she's got a lot of Hutzpah and just before Riker and Shelby head out and Admiral Hansen starts divulging all

this weird sex stuff to becard, Riker tries to invite Hansen to the regular poker night. And he's like, I can't do it, but Shelby can. She's kind of a card shark from what I hear. And so they wind up playing poker. And I think it's made clear that Shelby would rather be doing the away mission. She doesn't care that it's nighttime on the planet.

She wants to be down there. And she even lets Riker know like, oh yeah, like when you're done being command, you know, the first officer on this ship, I would like this job. And you're going to go be a captain on another ship, and I'll never have to deal with you. If I were, I'm sure you'd be the first to know. She threads the needle between being ambitious and being a jerk. Yeah. Well, I guess like she's operating under the assumption that anybody that's being offered a command would be a fucking idiot not to take it.

I feel like that's a safe assumption. Right. And everything we know about Riker is that all he wants to do is becaft in a of a sarship. So she's not necessarily completely off base in suggesting this. But she's less than tactful about it. Right. By assuming that what she knows is common knowledge and when it's immediately clear to her

that that's news to Riker. I'm sorry. I heard that you were leaving. That's a recipe for an awkward moment. She also gives off this weird Midwestern beauty pageant vibe. Well, that's the Brian Danny he genetics show on through, isn't it? Yeah, but it's not just the genetics.

It's how her hair is styled and stuff. And they definitely have this beautiful young woman interacting in this kind of high tension way with Riker, and they never play it for sexual tension, which I thought was an interesting choice, given what Riker's role in the show so often is. Yeah, nine out of ten interactions between Riker and anyone else are of a sexual nature. Yeah, and he definitely takes her to his not fucked up apartment. You know, the square apartment? Yeah, this is the one where you can turn the black light on and everything is as it should

be. No harm, no foul. He's got one apartment that's staged for a realtor and then the other one is his crash pad. Yeah, it's just junkies in the corner spray paint on the walls Yeah, so this poker game is we got Jordy data Troy Wesley the boy, Riker and Shelby. And they're really quite sure. I mean, I guess the point of the scene was that Riker is bluffing and Shelby calls his

bluff and that's like a metaphor man. In case you haven't noticed. Yeah. She is really needling him. Yeah. It's sort of like if you had a scene in a movie where there was an opera taking place, but we see a lot of things happening backstage at the opera. But like the thing that's happening in the opera is like a metaphor for what's

happening with the characters, you know? Yeah, pretty deep, man. It's pretty deep. There are a couple of interactions between Riker and Shelby that are just straight up contentious. And I kind of feel like this was the thing that sets Riker off the most. Like, nothing is quite as offensive to Riker as someone calling his bluff. Yeah, well, and like, I'm just like scrolling through the episode right now on my screen. And I'm seeing like four or five scenes in the first 20 minutes where Riker and Shelby have an interaction.

And every single one of those scenes, Ed ends with them hating each other and disagreeing. It's like, they really drive this point home. Yeah, and we can get into this a little bit later. But I remember best of both worlds one and two as being about Picard, but they're not. No. They're not at all. These are Riker episodes. They're totally R're not. No. They're not at all. These are raker episodes. They're totally raker episodes.

Yeah, like the other like big scene he has early in the episode is where he like has a drink with Diana and he's like, what am I still doing here? I used to be a go-getter and now I'm not. I just fucking take this guy's orders and I'm like super content where I am and it's the opposite of why I got into this. What the hell is wrong with me?

The cut before and then the cut to this scene is so great because the scene that happens before this is the one where Picard actually does the butt kicking to Riker. He's like, what the hell are you still doing on the Enterprise man? I'm here and you're turning down, captaining all these other ships. What's the deal? And then they cut from that scene straight to 10 forward. Where Riker asks the question that he was asked in the last scene to Diana. And I thought that was just a really nice edit.

Yeah, it's a little S cut where you get a little bit of the audio of him replying before they cut away from Picard's face. So it really like shows you that that is a single thought for a riker. I love it when an edit like that is done really well and used very sparingly. I think that that's something that's really easy to get carried away with and they never do with the editing on this show. They don't get too stylish with it.

And it rewards a careful viewer, I think, at least at this point in the series, it was a punishment for most viewers early on. Yeah, fair enough. His questions are totally sound. He's been shown the mirror at this point. The mirror of his career. And he's asking advice at only person who who's known him long enough to really give him a straight answer Yeah, and to her credit. She's like are you happy? Then what's the big deal like you like being around here? Yeah

But at the same time Adam this is a future where like you know is a future where nobody has to have a job. So what's the point in having a job unless you're going to be ambitious about it? Well, I'm saying sort of the opposite. If you are super ambitious and then you find the level that the Peter principle need never show its face in just world, right? You never get elevated above the level where you're actually effective and satisfied with your work. Like, what if Riker has found his calling, like why should anybody try to make him feel bad about that?

And why should he ever have to move out of that position if he's excellent at it? Like I would say the only downside of having Riker on the ship is all the fucking com that's everywhere, but. Well, the thing that happens to Riker in this scene happens to all of us, which is like, you go along and live your life and you think everything's fine

until someone asks you, hey, are you happy? And for the first time in years and years you actually give that question some thought. Yeah, he's like, he goes all Keanu on us, he goes, Whoa. Yeah, he goes to 10th forward and meets a sandwich on a park bench. Really thinks about some shit. Yeah, pretty intense.

My love is a piece of clothing till the back, which long the nurse has a busy. Tell me more, you're not the boy, yeah? Kind of a lot of stuff has happened here and maybe the first 15 minutes of this episode but it all serves to lay the foundation for what's coming. And what's coming is this board ship which they've picked up on the sensors.

Yeah, there's like another colony that's sending out a distress signal and... Hanson leaves Shelby on board, by the way. Hanson bugs out on his ship. And so they get FaceTime from Hanson, and he's like, listen, there's another colony that's definitely under attack. Same kind of circumstances. You guys better get over there.

And they're not that far away. So I guess they're the only ship that's really close enough at this point. And so they start rushing in that direction. And they know that the Borgs are no joke when it comes to fighting them. And it's not possible to have a diplomatic conversation with the Borgs. Shelby's whole deal, back at Starfleet, was like after the first encounter, like she was put in a position to develop new weapons to fight them. But this meeting right now is way earlier than anyone expected, and so all of her great

ideas haven't had time to actually be implemented. So she's on the ship with nothing but ideas. She has nothing to add to their strategy at this point. Yeah, I mean, her ideas aren't bad. They're just untested and they don't have any, you know, it's not like she showed up with a bunch of equipment that's gonna make this easier. Right. And so the strategy is basically the enterprise is gonna try

and tie the borgs up until the fleet can get together and try to like make a perimeter to keep them away from anything more important than a couple of outline colonies. And we should talk also about like what the Borgs are doing because they're just like raising these settlements, which doesn't really map to like the behavior that we see in later Borg cosmology. Like they're usually all about assimilating everything and not just wiping everything out.

And so I wonder if these are, if this is like pebbles against the window at midnight for the Borgs, like, oh, we'll just kill like 700,000 people here, 600,000 there. We'll wait till they, we have their attention because it becomes clear that what they want is Picard. Yeah, and that is creepy as fuck when they roll up on the Borg cube and Wurf is like, you are being hailed.

Right. And they aren't asking them to lower their shields and become assimilated. They are asking them to transport Captain Picard to their ship, which has got to put a chill through Picard at this point because... What the hell do they want with you? It's a big surprise also just because the Borgs are an unstoppable force, you know? Like, they're not, they don't typically really have like tactics or strategies, they just, they just come in and take everything that they want.

Like, the Borgs are kind of like an early version of the Grey Goo idea, I feel like. Like, it just like turns everything into itself. Yeah. So this engagement between the Enterprise and the BoardCube doesn't go great They're pretty much getting their asses kicked much in the same fashion as they did the first time around they start cutting into the engineering section And they have to they have to evacuate engineering where the the big door starts coming down and Jordi has to wave everybody out and then take like a shoulder roll to get under

himself. He Indiana Jones is it a little bit but it's a totally unnecessary Indiana Jones. Yeah he's like let me just wait for the garage door to be like one foot lower than I actually needed to wait. I was expecting him to step over the garage door sensor so he doesn't trip it and it goes back up. Yeah, or like his Pfizer falls off in mid-roll and he has to reach under just in the nick of time and grab it.

That would have been fun. So they're getting the shit kicked out of him and Picard's like, all right, well, we got to bug out. Like, this is not working for us. He gives a he gives a west some coordinates and they peel out and get out of there. And moments later, they end up in the Paulston Nebula, which is a scene that looks very wrath of Con like they, they cruise into

the Nebula and the Borg ship does not give chase inside. Instead, the ship waits outside. Yeah, it looks so wrath of Khan, like it is in fact the same nebula as wrath of Khan, or at least the same plate that they used. What's great about this idea and a implementation is that the card tells no one that this might be a viable place to ditch.

Yeah. Great plan, by the way. Yeah, I wish they would have shown like an exterior shot where it showed a nearby nebula. Yeah, like, oh, that makes sense. They could have just gone into that nebula. It's fucking great though, because the enterprise goes in and it's sort of a smoke show look. And they're kind of laying low while they fix up the ship from the damage that the Borgs did in the battle.

The damage is pretty heavy. We lost a lot of good people down there. But the Borg have taken the bait and they're like poking around trying to find the enterprise, which is great because it's giving the rest of Starfleet a lot more time to work with getting ready their defense fleet. Right, as long as they're in there, they can't hurt anyone else. I am a cute, disaball. There are full lights. There's a little bit of time for Riker to assemble the McLaughlin group.

If you want. And go over just what exactly they can do to this Borg ship, because nothing that they've tried deploying on it has worked. Yeah. Well, this McLaughlin group is headed up by Riker and Picard is not in the room, but this happens before Picard is abducted. And that actually factors in in the next episode.

Right. So they sort of go around the table and they start talking about what they can do during their next interaction. And Wes is like, you know, sort of the most powerful thing we have on the ship is this deflector dish that isn't used as a weapon at any other point, but maybe we could turn it into a weapon. And by doing that, like, it would just sort of shoot out all of the ship's energy at whatever it's aimed at.

Right. And as far as they know, nothing is going to survive something like that. Unfortunately, there is one slight detail in the process the blast completely destroys the enterprise as well. It's a crazy gamble, but maybe that's the race and the whole. Yeah, that's seen ends with another like Shelby and Riker butting heads. Like she's like, well, we should disconnect the saucer section to prevent loss of life. And he's like, listen, we're going to need all the engines we've got. And there are engines on the saucer section that we might need to plug into this thing. And she's like, well, I'd like the captain to make that decision.

So, that scene ends like, But that scene ends like, with, you know, essentially with her going over Ryker's head and trying to, trying to, trying to get the captain on her side on this issue. Right. There's a little kind of, a few quiet scenes here where, you know, Ryker and Shelby have a few more conflicts and a classic and important scene where Picard goes down to 10 forward and it's like way after last call kind of time because nobody's in there and Gainin is like hiding in a dark corner and she's like trying to

reassure Picard that even if they can't beat the Borgs this time humanity will survive like there's enough people out there that there will be survivors and it might take hundreds of years but they can come back from anything. I love this scene. Guidance motivational speech, I thought was fucking garbage though.

Yeah, I was like, she says as long as there's a handful of you left, humanity's going to survive. Like, oh my God, how many billions of people are constitute humanity? I guess you're all gonna die, but it's gonna be okay in the very, very long term. Yeah. Well, her speech is interrupted by a bang. The Borks have basically thrown death charges into the nebula at this point.

And that's what's bangin' the enterprise right now. Yeah, and Wurf calls Picard up to the bridge. And so I guess Shelby is down in engineering but Ryker and Wurf and Picard are on the bridge. And so the Enterprise has to clear out of there, but they've, you know, they're patched up enough, they can limp out of the nebula and give the Borgs a little wild goose chase to go on.

And they're like in hot pursuit when couple of Borgs materialize on the bridge and they just kind of like raise their weird, you know, instrument arms and start walking toward a card like zombies. War phasers the first one, the second one, is unfasurable. Like they've already adapted to the hand phasers, but they their personal shielding and it's like I think Riker goes and tries to like sucker punch. This one and gets tossed off in the corner. The scene drives me crazy because they've got two randoms at the Hellman con.

Like why isn't data there? Yeah, and also there's like a couple of science people in the back that are like just poking away at their fucking computer, so all this is going on. It's like guys, major crisis. There's an hostile enemy force trying to take the bridge of our ship. Maybe like put the science project down for a moment. It's so crazy. Ladyborg materializes right next to Picard and puts something on the back of his neck and it like, it like stuns him. It looks like it feels really good. Oh, you think he like cremed his jeans a little bit? I know. Looks pretty pleasurable at that exact moment.

Yeah. Well, she is a lady. You never see it. You never see any old borgs. They're all kind of like mid 30s, right? Yeah, that is. Well, you see a baby board. The 18 to 34. I mean, like any like any good network of. Oh, we did great in the demo once again, Borgs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you do see baby Borgs, I never see old Borgs. We gotta focus group that last assimilation, you guys. Just kept talking one long, incredibly unbroken sentence, moving from topic to topic, so that no one had the chance to think the perfect was really quiet, not igniting, not igniting. So they snatched Picard.

Yeah. Raker gets up and dust himself off. He's like, where the fuck is Picard? He's gone. Where'd Picard go? Yeah. And so with Picard on board, the board ship turns around and books it.

Yeah, we get this very creepy shot of Picard kind of like being walked through the Borg ship. And it's weird because we don't know like to God extent they have control over his mind at this point, but he's just kind of peace, peaceably walking around with them. And then they take him to this kind of like look out that you see when the Borgs try to get somebody on FaceTime. It's just like a vast interior shot of the ship. And the pulsing lights explain to him that he is going to become the voice of the Borgs

that they will use in explaining what is happening to the Federation as it is assimilated. It's pretty considerate, right? You would like to see a familiar face help you with the transition of any kind. And Picard's like, actually no. I'm not going to help you and fuck you a thousand times. And if you try to make me help you, I'd rather die. Yeah, it gives them double middles. It starts waving them around, you know,

Chris Crossen and his arms in front of his face. They're like, double middles are irrelevant. Resistance is futile. Fuck you, is irrelevant. Yeah. So that didn't go as planned, but cards kind of fucked over there. Yeah. So that didn't go as planned, but cards kind of fucked over there. Yeah.

Meanwhile, back on the Enterprise, Rikers like, well, we got to figure out a way to get them back, right? Can't just leave them over there. What do you guys say? We grab a couple of dustbusters, head down to the transport room, go over to that board ship and get our captain back. Let's see, who's going gonna be in our cool boarding party? It's obviously gonna be me. It's gonna be, you know,

Dr. Data Warf and Shelby is like, angling to get on this, on this dustbuster club and he's like, no, you gotta be here in command of the ship. And Troy is like, no, will, like, you're wrong. You're wrong. When Captain Picard is not here, you're in command of the ship and Troy is like, no, will, like, you're wrong. When Captain Picard is not here, you're in command of the ship and it's not cool for you to just go on an adventure to the place that he got captured to try and get him back. Riker looks at her like, what about that moment we just had in 10 forward? Yeah, the fuck is wrong with you? How are you doing me like this? It's a total double cross. Yeah, he's like, all right, you're right, Shelby, you lead the way team. At this point, you

can't be sure that Riker isn't hoping that Shelby gets killed over there. Like, this might be a solution to one of his problems. Yeah. Can we just do a prisoner exchange where I give you Shelby? And you give us Picard back. Shelby's much younger. She's a real go-getter where I give you Shelby and you give us a card back. Shelby's much younger. She's a real go-getter. I think you're really like her. What do you want with that old man over there? So they beam over and every time you beam over to a board ship, it's really intense, but

the boards don't do anything at first. In some ways, like, Jordy would feel right at home on a ship full of people ignoring him. Like, that's a better way. That's what life is like for him. Yeah, and he tries like, nagging a board, and then they all start converging on the spot that he's standing. Nice implants.

Yeah, that looks a little irritating on your skin. Your sister has much better implants actually. How often have you seen this episode? You've probably seen it a dozen times just like I have. I've seen it a bunch. Did they change the voices, the group voices for the remaster? I think so. I feel like the voices are different. You mean like when the board is talking as a collective? Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. I don't think so, but I do feel like the voice is very different in earlier episodes than in later episodes, like that first one with Q.

We have analyzed your defensive capabilities as being unable to withstand us. It's super, super different from this. You will lower your shields and prepare to transport yourself aboard our vessel. I think that they'd like gotten an idea, but they hadn't quite nailed what they wanted it to be. Yeah.

And so this is a refinement of that. So anyways, on this ship, there's some like reveals, like they discover these dumb upside down pure mid lights that are some kind of node that they need to knock out to get the board's attention. And they start phasering at them. And that, you you know turns the board hostile and that's when they see that Picard has been turned.

We got the board! They do that thing where he's in profile. They see him down the corridor and then as he turns to square up to the camera you see that he's been implanted. So the board of outfitted him with some implants. He's got sort of a face implant. And then he's got some ab implants, like Batman abs, even some of those. Yeah. And he's got like a small amount of shoulder implant at this point. You know, at a certain point he's going to be full beyond Thunderdome, but for right now he's kind of in like a tight-knit black, like,

mock-turtle-neck sweater, and he just has like some light cybernetics affixed to him. He's going to go through some changes as these two episodes go on, but for now he looks savable. Yeah. And so they like make a mad rush, but there's no way because the, you know, the personal shielding on the borgs have adapted to their phasers and there's just nothing they can do. So they call for a quick beam out and they make it back to the ship just in time

to get up on the bridge for locutus to introduce himself. And that is the name that the Borgs have re-criscined Picard with. And sort of a lot of things heard about this scene. It hurts to see a character you like disfigured. And then there's like an extra knife twist when LaQua Dess addresses Riker as number one, like, ah, like it's like an ex-girlfriend using your pet name on you, like even though you're not together anymore,

like it's, it hurts. Don't do that Yeah, so so locutus gets gets on the FaceTime and he's like Theo You see Sometimes you have to let a board take over your society You see I've got to shoot you with the phasers then. All they want to do is put things in the enterprises beverages.

Give us access to your food and drink replicators. That's all we want. I like a nice tea or gray hat. Rudy, would you like to enjoy one with me? Nothing's wrong with it, you see! So, the mission to rescue Picard is a failure. The away team beams back to the Enterprise. They obviously need to slow it down to get Picard back, but more than that, like...

this ship is heading for Earth, and they're gonna have to destroy it. And if they don't, this board ship is going to destroy everyone. Right. I am La Cute is a board. You will respond to my questions. I am La Cute is a board. You are a board.

And so Raker is standing there. He knows that they have this super powerful weapon that's like never even been tried. But the best guess he has is that it is going to shred the board cube. And he has to give the order to fire while Captain Picard is on board this thing and plugged into it. And so the camera dollies around him giving him sort of like a half Michael Bay shot. And a dollies up into into his face and he says this

shit just got real and in one of the great moments in this show's history he says one word Mr. Warp fire and then we cut to to be continued and that is the end of the episode and season three. Yeah, and now you have to go to like summer vacation. For fucking three and a half months or whatever and wonder what's gonna happen, right? Do you remember how this moment hit you when you saw it the first time? Oh my god. I drove my family crazy because I taped the episode and then I played the very end of it like 20 times in a row

I just rebounded and played it rebounded and played looking for clues Like who shot yeah, who shot J.R. or who shot Mr. Burns. Yeah, the air date of this episode is June 18th 1990 the air date of this episode is June 18th, 1990, the air date of the next episode in the series was September 24th, 1990. That was a rough summer. Oh, give me a break. You expect me to have a good summer vacation after that? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 18-minute mark, the action starts and it's just relentless. All the way to the end. It's one of the best episodes of the series for sure, but maybe one of the best episodes of science fiction

television, I thought, just looking great. And it holds up too. Totally holds up. And it's also very star trekky. Like it's, I mean, it's action packed, but in the way that TNG is. Like it's all about like learning about their enemy and learning about each other and...

Working together? Yeah, we're working out their interpersonal problems, which are like more... They're more interpersonal conflicts on this episode than normal. And... Shelby and Riker fight, like, no one has ever fought on this show. Right. And I... Maybe we've gotten... We've gotten a little drunk off that

in this episode. Like it is standard television operating procedure for all characters in a scene to hate each other at all times, you know. Yeah, but in 1990, not so much. And on this show especially. Yeah, when Gene Roddenberry has his thumb on the scale, there's like as little interpersonal conflict as possible.

So this is a rare instance of it. And you know, I think that there are parts of it that are really compelling, maybe like they're a little out of practice as a group of television professionals making a interpersonal conflict work. Right. Because I felt like there were maybe like one or two too many beats of, okay, Riker and Shelby are budding heads.

Yeah. But I feel like it does pay off in the next episode to some extent. I feel like this episode was so well-paced. I don't know if you do this the way I do, but I kind of clock watch a lot while I'm watching an episode Just to see where we are and it is so dense with action Yeah, we definitely like skipped over entire like fully realized scenes in discussing the plot, so right There's a lot there. It's a great episode And I'm amidst all this action. I almost missed a indicator light on my control panel

that says that a priority one message is coming in. Hopefully it's not from Admiral Hanson. Ha ha ha. Hi. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement on? supplement on?

supplement. supplement. Yeah, it, extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Our first priority one message is from Jimmy Hendrix. And it's a message for the future. Da, da, da, da. Guessing this isn't the recording artist, the future.

But it could be. The message goes like this, before the Enterprise, there was the DeLorean. Before Zephyr Mkachrin, there was Doc Brown. Before Dylithium crystals, there was Grand Gulf. Before the Time Traveler, there were the Grand Sons of Robert. The Grand Sons of Robert will be the first time travelers to have a beer and throw fireworks

with their grandfather again. Rest in peace, Robert Lee. Oh, wow. That, uh, I thought that that was going to be one of the classic cheeky coded messages, uh, that some of our listeners send in, but I think that was like a, actually like a sincere memorial jumbo tron. Yeah. There was, there was definitely a lot of it that was in code sincere memorial jumbo tron. Yeah. There was definitely a lot of it that was in code, but. Right, right.

Code that we'll never understand. Yeah. Kind of excited by the idea of the Graham children generation being time travelers. Yeah. Yeah. Looking forward to it. Yeah, well, I hope these kids get to throw the fireworks Yeah. Yeah. Looking forward to it. Yeah.

Well, I hope these kids get to throw the fireworks with ramps again. Yeah. Enjoy that, you guys. Our next message is also a personal message. It's from Dave and Laura to Steve Ben and Drew. And it says, come over to David and Laura's house in Seattle to drink and watch TNG on November 19th. Steve, for the viewers, my roommate from college who introduced us to the podcast, I'll have to fly from Ann Arbor, but it will be worth it because Adam Predica will be there too.

Only we haven't asked him yet. Oh, that's fun. Oh, you're just finding out about this now, Adam. Wow. I guess that will make this greatest gen gone 2016. Give us a chance. Hey. November 19th. Is your calendar free?

Let me check the calendar. Are we going to get a judgment on this right now? Oh, well, we may edit this out of this ad bin but I'm supposed to be in Portland with you on the 19th. Oh shhh. So I might have to give my my regret to this kind invitation but who knows? Yeah. It's uh a wow people using the jumbo tron as a way to invite us to stuff First time for everything pretty cool Yeah, I recently got emailed an invite to watch some TNG with some some viewers here in New York and I Had to turn them down not because I didn't want to, but just like my dude, my life is completely insane right now.

But yeah, I think we could get into that at some point. All right. Maybe we could get an appearance fee. I think that's what a jumbo tron ad is, Ben. Yeah, you're probably right. Well, thanks to Dave and Laura and Jimmy Hendrix for purchasing jumbo tron ads. We call them priority one messages. If anyone else out there would like to do like they did, you can go to maximumfund.org slash jumbo tron

There's two convenient price points there 104 the personal message and 200 for the businessmen's special So if you have a business or something to sell that would be That would be your opportunity to Have us sell your good or service for you. And like, you know, not for nothing, but like tens of thousands of episode files get downloaded every week. So if you got a jumbo tron, like the chances are pretty good that a lot of people would hear it.

Which could be a great thing or a terrible thing depending on their feelings about our show. Yep. Hey Ben. What's that Adam? Hopefully your drunk Shimoda was not kidnapped and transported to the Borgship. Dr. Shimoda! Well she was on the Borgship.

My drunk Shimoda is Dr. Crusher. One of the things that they find when they go on their raid to try and recover Picard, their failed raid, is these pyramids that are on the ceiling everywhere in the board ship and there's some kind of node or something. This is nothing about Gates McVatting's performance, which was fine, but the line that she has when they discover this thing is, look at this, this extraordinary. It's like really like that there would be like connecting pieces

in the controls of this technological monstrosity? No, it's not extraordinary. That's a stupid line. So the doctors like, you know, sense of bafflement in that moment. Like how could they have thought to plug all of the things into each other? She can't stop being a doctor no matter where she is. Yeah, so she got my, she got my drunk shimoda. How about yourself? We should probably say that drunk shimoda is a description we give in every episode

that we give to a character who's having the most fun or acting the strangest, or something that makes us laugh. Yeah, if you would like the explanation of why that exists, go back to episode two of our podcast, try to ignore the fact that we were much worse at making a podcast back then, and you'll have your answer. I think people will figure out that we were much worse at making a podcast back then. And you'll have your answer. I think people will figure out that we are equally as bad at making podcasts now

as we were back then. Then my Dr. Shimoda goes to Picard himself. During one of the battles, one of the two battles with the Borg, and I can't quite remember if it's the one where he gets kidnapped or not, but Picard's in his chair, battling cross-legged. He's got a cross-legs battle stance as he's giving orders around the bridge. And that just seemed like the peak of casualness.

Yeah, that is, that's hubris for for you buddy. Everything is at stake. Nothing they're doing is working. And Picard is sitting on the bridge cross-legged, hidden buttons and flippants switches. So I don't get the sense that there's a bunch of physical direction happening on this show. But that is a weird choice. Like as a director, I see an actor doing something like that. And I want to know whether that was intentional

or if that was just a thing they let go. Yeah. Yeah. Because they shoot at a low angle. Like you're sort of at knee height shooting up at the cards, you see warmth behind him. Yeah. And his cross leg battle stance just looks.

Dominates the lower part of the frame. Yeah, it looks wrong. But looks very very relaxed and so for that reason I'm gonna give him the drug Shimoda a greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss why well it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FOD is from all over, gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour.

Let's do it! The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to greatestgentour.com to get more info. That's greatestgentour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris, and I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.

We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Non-Giani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes,

which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps already open. Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Oh, rats, hey, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in line.

These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this I gotta get on the art. Yeah, it's about terrain. Got us about to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. Oh, we're actually we're podcasters. We are podcasters So it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality claims of the paranormal stuff like that

And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boat. We came two by two. What do you think? Ona Ross & Kerry, available on MaximumFun.org. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, Hey Ben, what do we have coming up on the next episode? The next episode of our show will cover season 4 episode 1, the best of both worlds, part 2. Oh I'm glad they're going to finish the story.

Yeah, well they promised that it would be continued in the last episode. Sure. Riker must choose between saving Picard and saving humanity when the Borg use the kidnapped captain as part of their plan to destroy Earth. It's a real, do the needs of the one out of the way the needs of the many type situation. Hmm.

Wonder what he's gonna do. Do you remember this episode Adam? Sure looked like he's willing to fire on him though. Like, I feel like that decision's made, right? That's not a spoiler. Yeah, so there's actually a thing on Amazon video that I discovered when I was looking around for Trek Things to Waste Time with a while ago.

That is a edited together best of both worlds, where it's like a essentially released as a TV movie, where they take out the suspenseful moment at the middle and just mush the two episodes up together. I can't imagine that being good. Yeah, I mean, here's a great idea. Let's remove the most tension from the show. And just sort of sew it together. What, who decided that?

That's terrible. I think the only thing I can think of is maybe it was like the first thing that got released on HD or something and they like, they like, you know, did a tell us in, I have all the footage and we're like, oh, I bet we could sell this as like one thing to a lot of people. I'm not watching it that way, are you? No, I didn't want to pay $15 for somebody else's mistake, you know?

Yeah, yeah, geez, make your own decisions about how you watch this show. Well, speaking of making decisions, our viewers can choose to contribute to the production of our show by going to maximumfund.org slash donate. They can support our show by doing that, but they can also leave a nice review. They can tell a friend about our show. I feel like we're gaining more and more viewers as the weeks go on. It's really exciting. We've had a few people write blog posts about our show. I don't think I've ever seen anybody post about our show on the

Star Trek subreddit or anything. I feel like that would be cool. I feel like it would be weird if we did it, but it would be really nice if one of our viewers said what they liked about the show and encouraged people to give it a listen. I don't want to seem like just grubbing for listeners but you don't want to be ghost, do you? No, but like you know we're I definitely think if we keep growing the show it will help us you know in the long term like justify the amount of blood sweat and tears we've put into it. And I'm not getting in saying that it is like...

All of those things. A lot of work to make this show. Like, each episode takes an hour, or an hour and a half to record, and then it can take like six to eight hours to edit. And that's non-trivial from two guys who are also trying to make a living full-time, doing something that actually pays pretty good. So we appreciate the help and we appreciate anyone that's out there spreading the word, telling their friends.

It's awesome. What you get when you tell a friend about this show is they get absorbed into our growing chatty hilarious community. Like you can talk to us and them on Twitter using the hashtag GreatestGen. There's also a Facebook groups and pages out there and they are hilarious and fun. We're also on Reddit as our slash GreatestGen and episode capsules are posted on the maximum fun Reddit page as well. Yeah, we should thank Dark Materia who made our theme music and Adam Rekusia who makes our priority one music, both great peeps and we really appreciate the generous contribution of that music. Absolutely.

Well with that we will be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek, the next generation and an episode of the greatest generation that delivers 100% on all the suspense that was built up on this one. Unlike us. Maximumfund.org Comedy and Culture, Artistone.