The Greatest Generation - No More Lead in the Pencil (S5E21)

Episode Date: March 20, 2017

When the Entrepreneur makes an unscheduled stop on the way to a passenger's destination, the diversion puts more than the ship's 5-star rating in jeopardy. But when a giant Glassybaby in the cargo bay falls over, its contents prove to be irresistible to just about everyone on board (except those with a special conscience). Who's working the bag check on the Enterprise? Is the marimba the most romantic instrument? What qualifies as a tragedy? It's the episode that will force you to take a cold shower, afterwards!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the greatest generation. A Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm your host, Adam Pranica.

I'm your other host, Benjamin R. Harrison. Ben, I'm having a great day. Yeah? One of the great days, I think. I'm having a great day myself because I'm down here in Los Angeles, California at the World Headquarters of MaximumFun.org and they've kindly allowed me to sit in the professional grade audio recording booth. Oh man. I really want a professional grade audio booth instead of a bedroom, which is where I am right now. Yeah. Maybe you could describe for the viewer what maximum fun HQ is like. Well, so their offices in West Lake, Los Angeles, which is immediately a but the MacArthur Park

neighborhood and the titular MacArthur Park. So, they've got beautiful Florida ceiling windows that wrap around two sides of the building and have fairly spectacular views of MacArthur Park and Langer's Delicatessen further in the distance, which is, you know, pretty much where I want to be. You're going to have you already gotten yourself a Langer's? Oh yeah, I'm podcasting Filled by Langers. That's nice. So did you walk into maximum fun HQ, a conquering hero, to flowers, thrown at your feet, to backslaps and high fives? I mean, I've known the gang here for a long time, so it's always lovely to come back, because it's a good group of people. Everybody here is like really positive

and wonderful person. That is the feeling I've gotten every time I've visited too. They're just the best. Yeah, good, good feels all around Adam. And then as soon as you said you were gonna record pod from there, they all left. You're like, fuck this. Hahaha. there they all left. You're like fuck this!

Well what do you say we get into our episode that we came here to record today? Why don't we uh bin at season 5 episode 21 the perfect mate. This is becoming a speech. The cat comes to very entitled. Yeah, a little type that rammed along about something everyone knows. a speech. A lot of people say season five is the best season. It's so awesome. He got all these landmark episodes. I feel like we're in the worst of season five right now. Yeah, it's a back nine that, you know, it'd be like if you stepped off the front nine of Pebble Beach and onto the back nine

and it's like a municipal golf course. It's like, what the hell happened? Do you think it's just front? Why isn't anybody fixing these divots? Do you think it's like all the good episodes, proximity to the bad episodes that make the bad ones look so much worse? Like, is that the deal?

Yeah, that could be it. It might be the season that really establishes what cheesy track is, because I feel like all of the cheesy track humor that happens subsequent to season five feels like jokes about season five feels like jokes about season five. Like, when an episode premise misses in this season, it misses by a fucking mile. And when it hits, it hits so hard. Like, it's like two sides of the bell curve and no middle of the bell curve at all. There's a weird sort of sci-fi storytelling inversion going on here

where a lot of the episodes this season involve the study of the crew instead of the crew studying aliens and civilizations and planets and stuff. That doesn't work for me as much as the exploration element. But maybe, maybe been the deepest exploration is into the human heart. Oh, oh yeah. Yeah. Well Adam, let's stop pussy-footing around the issue. The entrepreneur is hosting a reconciliation

between two warring planets, the Brem and the Valtians. Now wait, Criotians and the Valtians. Now wait, Creosians and the Valtians. Brium is the ambassador. I know it's our confusing. They could be anything though. They could be anything in anyone. Yeah, they're another like one-off set of aliens that we'll never hear from again.

Although I think they stole the design of these aliens for the trail after this, right? Because they're spotted. Yeah, they've got those leopard spots. Yeah. They love those spots so much. They're just spraying them on everyone. Yeah. I mean, they look great on the right face, you know? The spots really bring out the symmetry of a classical face. Yeah. It's like the beauty mark thing, right? Oh, yeah.

It's the salt that brings out the sweet. Sure is. So, the ambassador is concerned because he realizes that he left some lithium batteries in his checked luggage. So he's like, nobody should go down to the cargo bay. Let's just not have anybody go down there. How about that? He's got some real Moroccan style of dress,

I feel like. He's got some real Moroccan style of dress. I feel like. He's got a big tall hat. He's got sort of an older gentleman. And he's there to make peace. And he's brought a gift. And I think anytime that you're making peace with someone, a gift really helps. Right.

This is something that Wesley Crusher does with a boy. Chocolate and riker does with pea soup. This guy does it with a giant glowing orb. Who wouldn't want that orb? It's like a giant glassy baby. I mean, everyone loves that. Possibly the most obvious head faint of all time occurs when the entrepreneur picks up some

Ferengi who had some shuttle problems Breem is not super pumped about his uber driver making a stop before their final destination He's like are you serious right now? I told you not to take any phone calls and we're stopping at a 7-Eleven. I gotta take a dump, man. Yeah. So they pull off and rescue these Ferengi from what can only be described as a

cradad class shuttlecraft. I wanted to break it in half and suck out the guts. Yeah, unfortunately it has blowed before you got a chance to do guts. Yeah, unfortunately, it has slowed before you got a chance to do that. Yeah. We look forward to enjoying the comforts of your fine ship. I guess they're supposed to have security on them,

but for some reason, they just are wandering around the ship and they go to the place that the ambassador was very clear about not wanting anybody to go. May I ask that the cargo baby declared off limits to all, but the most essential personnel. Which makes me wonder, what worth thought they meant when they said secure the cargo bay. It's weird. Yeah, it is weird.

The Farenki you're always annoying, but I feel like these two guys really take the cake. Yeah, one of them piles up a bunch of barrels full of highly radioactive substances so that he can reach out and touch the glowing orb. Watching him climb up on this stack of crap that he's made is just stupendously frustrating. For so many reasons, I mean, one, he shouldn't be in there. It shouldn't be possible for him to go in there, especially because Breaim specifically asked Picard. Look, man, when I check my bag with you, can you make sure that you stick it in the safe and not just in the coat room? Where any ding-dong can get to it. Do you think that Worf was like, well, let me go down and make sure that the cargo

bay is secure and he gets down there and he sees that there is a door closed in between the hallway and the cargo bay and he's like, well, I can't imagine getting through that by myself. So he just sort of claps his hands. My work here is done. Yeah. Sort of like the world's most moronic, Rubegolberg project. Like one of the Ferangie climbs up on top of this thing. What are you doing?

Falls off of it and then kicks all the barrels into the beams that are holding up this suitcase. Yeah, it's like energy beams. Yeah. And, yeah, I guess once, once, you know, the beam is broken by one of these barrels, the thing kind of, it kind of gently lands horizontally, and then the outer casing sort of dissolves. And by this time, a fairly large number of people have shown up in the cargo bay, including

the captain and wharf in the ambassador, in place of the former shell is a lovely Famke Jansen with spots all over her temples, and she stands up and she walks up to Captain Picard and explains to him. I am for you, I'll recall. That's a great way to meet anyone I think. Put this little pep in your step. Feels good to get a compliment. It's very disarming. Riker is disgusted like right off the bat.

Riker breaks does a lot of background acting here. He's a little bit soft-focused, but he is clearly doing facial gestures. His character is going through a lot, even when he's not speaking. So the deal with this lady, and you know, there are lots of varying degrees of disgust expressed to the ambassador about this, but the idea is she has been like bread from birth to be the perfect, like sexual object for the ambassador from the other side, and like by presenting her to him as his future wife I guess, or just concubine, that's gonna seal the deal piecewise. To his credit, Picard is like, what the fuck? Are you serious?

Like, like, are we seriously doing this for you? This is like, this is like, if you were the captain of Delta Flight 401, you know, from JFK to LAX and you discovered, like an Eastern European prostitute in the checked baggage. Be like, um, who's this? I wonder how common of an issue this is for cargo ship captains, like. in the checked baggage. Be like, um, who's this? I wonder how common of an issue this is

for cargo ship captains, like. Right, but how many of them know they're transporting slaves? And I think that this, the like, facile direction that this show takes in going like, oh, it's just a cultural difference. It's okay in their culture for women to be chattel. It's like, it's fucking insane.

They make a prime directive argument, right? Which is like, well, how prime directive are you? Are you in the first place if you are taking this person as a peace offering from one culture to another? Like, not at all. You are inherently involving yourself with the natural evolution of these two cultures. What's unfortunate is they don't even have this conversation in a professional context. Like Beverly and Picard have it over breakfast. They don't even have the goddamn common courtesy to have a McLaughlin group about it and like really hash it out.

Issue one. Yeah. Or even like, you know, the captain has breakfast with just Beverly. Like, sometimes he invites everybody to breakfast for these. Right. Ever since the riker eggs incident, no one wants to have breakfast with riker anymore. You got to get on that Picard breakfast list. Get those queson. You got to imagine a French man doesn't, doesn't mess around with bad Quesson. I had some pretty crap Quesson this morning to be quite honest at him. Were they airport Quesson?

I got the hellepeño cheese Quesson at the coffee bean and tea leaf. That's an abomination. Seems like the least worst thing that they had to eat. Yeah? Yeah. I do like a coffee bean and tea leaf. Hey, there's our third free one. They have a nice iced coffee.

I like the pebble ice. The pebble ice is great. My like of their iced coffee is 90% about the ice that's in it. Pebble ice is real good. And why doesn't it get stuck in the straw? It seems like it should get stuck. It's well engineered, Adam. Yeah.

I looked into getting one of those machines one time. Oh. $1,500 minimum. Minimum. I worked. Where does it go up to? Oh, you can spend as much as you want on a nice machine. I'm not kidding.

Like, ice is one of those things where like, like there is a Japanese company that will sell you an ice machine for $1 million. I promise. Oh God, I bet that Japanese pebble ice is so great. My wife said that if we move to Los Angeles, I'm allowed to get a pebble ice machine. I'm holding her to it, Adam.

Well now that it's been put on the pod, it's etched in stone as a deal. Yeah. Let's talk about the fun and games in this episode. The deal is Famke Jansen is like a, redonculously good looking. So it's already like distracting having her around, but she's also got this telepathic ability that makes her Turn into whatever the sexual fantasy is of whatever man she is in the presence of and so there are all these

all these scenes in the in the episode where she's with a different set of dudes and has a very different personality and it's actually like, for all of the like, horribleness that is the premise of this episode, I think Famke Jensen does a pretty awesome job of like playing this part. Cause she gets to like do a lot of different kinds of acting. Yeah. And, you know, on the page, it looks like it could skew

into cartoonish, but it really reminded me of like, page it looks like it could skew into cartoonish But it really reminded me of like what it's like to date a flirt Mm-hmm, you know like her flirtation game is so tight That you just walk her around a room and everyone loves her. They can't help but fall for yeah She's just got a magnetic personality at him. Yeah. So like, Riker shows her to the quarters that she'll be staying in. Does the whole, here's the replicator thing that he's on for. And she like puts, she's like putting the moves on Riker. Like in, in a way that I think that we know Riker would never do with somebody else. Like, he's got,

he's got a, he's got to know for sure that they're in, and she's like planting surprise kisses on him. I'm beginning to sense the elevated pheromones you were referring to. I think we have some evidence that this has an effect on Riker, though he is able to ultimately resist. Because when he walks out of the room, he like radios up to the bridge that

you need me on being holiday four. And then that's never mentioned again. He needs to go for a cold shower in the mineral bass of Blue Balls 2. He backs out of the room and into the corridor, and they only shoot him from like mid-chest to head. Oh yeah, yeah. It's very hard to hide a boner in that uniform. He's totally rocking a charger.

The Spandex can't contain it. Yeah, let's just say, if the Ferengy need another shuttle, we've got a rocket ship ready to go. Yeah. It is a crazy thing to do when we stop reading bass. Are you not finding within yourself to stand up, tell the truth? You don't deserve the wealth that you have all. I guess because Kamala, who is the Famke Janssen character,

has been resuscitated, she is, she's kind of like both a liability but also potentially a big help because there's a lot of work to be done in preparation for the The big event where she is Summarily handed off to the guy that she's gonna Become the concubine of and she's like really eager to help. And I think that that eagerness may come from just being around Picard, and like, I guess her imagining that that would be a way to ingratiate herself to him. This is, it's just such a, it's like a, it's like a bad porno script, you know?

It's like, like this woman wants to be the sexual fantasy of every guy she meets. Here are five fairly disconnected scenes about that. It's hard to look ahead at it as anything besides that, but they really do their best to class it up, you know? Like, like, she's a diplomat. Her powers are known as empathic metamorphoses, you know? Like she's given sort of a scientific terminology. Like it's a strange depiction of codependency, right? Like because she is an interesting scene with Picard in the ready room where Picard sort of getting Picora of her deal.

He's not super happy that she's being locked in her quarters. Like I guess that's the thing that really bugs Picard sort of getting the core of her deal. He's not super happy that she's being locked in her quarters. Like, I guess that's the thing that really bugs Picard. It's not that he's varying what will end up being a love slave. It's that I think she should have free range around the ship. And as they talk, she's like, yeah, I'm very attracted to a man of deep passion and conviction like yourself. It made me think what she might feel for a man of special conscience. In a storyline that only a dared could love. In many ways the the Creosians have achieved a version of a

real doll that surpasses even my own work. It's really a coke versus Pepsi decision for real doll customers. And I really admit that if you can look past the human rights implications of their product, it is an excellent piece of competition in the marketplace, but my point of difference that I offer is that my real does are true dolls and they don't have any free will. All of the disgusting sex acts without any of the haunting ethical violations that one might feel as you result. A spritz real doll's.

For real doll consumers with special consciences. You know Adam it also made me wonder what a certain other captain might think about this. Yes, you don't need to throw yourself with me, I'll just give you a drink. You know, Ben, as we enter Pledge Drive season for our show, it's important to play the hits, right? Yeah. I think, I think Pekaspi is, we're well rid of him as a repeat character. It's true. It really strains my voice and it's also awful to think about him. Yeah. Glad it's your job and not mine. So they give Kamala a like a shaperone for the rest of her time on the ship.

And they give her a shaperone that is fully functional and programmed in multiple techniques at them. I would be pleased to escort you around the ship. Data is the one man around whom she can like truly be herself in a weird way. Yeah, and it's a weird interplay between them, and especially when you see them together as they go out and tour the ship. And she flirts with everyone that they meet and does not do that with him.

It's gotta make him a little sad, right, to the degree that he can feel sadness. Yeah. Yeah, he's definitely like being friend-zoned in a pretty cruel way. One of the scenes that illustrates this is he walks her into 10 forward and Riker like just about knocks over a glass table with his boner and get it out of there. He's having a I just jerked it on the holodeck style orange juice with wharf and then pieces out. Yeah, she starts like powing around. The other like group of randos on the ship is that they

rescued some loaf minors from a nearby planet. The loaf minors of Manwitch too. Hahaha. It's like a weird like, oh, I never really thought of 10 forward as being like a white collar hang, but these blue collar guys are in it and it is. It's fun to see some knock around guys and 10 forward. I don't know. I'm into it for sure. It makes it feel like a lived in bar in a way. Yeah, I mean, that's something you look for in a bar, right?

I don't want to go to a bar where a bunch of yuppies hang out only. Like, I want people from lots of different lifestyles to be there. All kinds of drinks, all kinds of lifestyles. You got your refractory period cocktails for Riker. You got your special friend and confidant prune juice for Wharf. You know, it's a drink for every temperament. I don't know what these miners are drinking. They're probably drinking Worcestershire sauce, right? I think that they say what they're drinking and she wants, she

like wants in. She's like, give me one of those two and another round for everybody. Ordering a round in 10 forward is a real, it is played like it's as exciting as it would be in a bar. If I was in a bar and somebody walked in and said, around for the house, and I was getting a free drink out of the deal, I would be genuinely excited. It never happens. Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen it in real life. I mean, I've gotten around for some buds, but I've never gotten around for the house.

The house is just a whole nother scale. I don't got it like that Adam. There's that bell at most bars that is like the announcement for round for the house. I've never seen that bell room. Yeah, it's dusty. Yeah. The only time I ever break that bell out is when they're handing down a judgment in a naval court martial. Data is like sort of hip to what's happening,

almost a second too late. The miners are like, hey, data, why don't you beat it so we can do body shots out of Kamala and she's like, yeah, line them up. And data starts walking out of frame and he's like, oh, shit, that's right, I'm supposed to be protecting this girl. Yeah, yeah, he's definitely, he's too nice to know what's going on.

Yeah. Which is, you know, often the plight of the friend's own. He, you know what, you often forget that he's fully functional and first in a variety of techniques. Yeah, but he just doesn't know how to provide that kind of exciting danger element. Yeah, like he can only provide the physical aspect. He's not hip to social cues. No, I think they narrowly avoid turning this into

a real catastrophe. And I think that like, Warf has to break it up. Is there a problem here? No, sir. He's like essentially 86th Kamala and data from 10 forward when she turns around and starts doing like Klingon mating growl at him.

Yeah. This is like one of those moments where I was like, oh yeah, Warf has a lot of self-control. And it's been like a part of his character from season one, you know, like he's talked about this from jump that like he has a very different set of expectations about what, you know, what behavior should be like. So his enemy is like the forces within him that would make him work against proper behavior

on a ship like this. And he gives, he gives her a little growl. But then he turns around. It's not unlike the growl that one gives to Stovakore that a warrior is coming. This is like a quieter growl to tell your special lady that you'd like to come. Back is promised, Ben. We're here to talk about Max Fund Drive 2017. The greatest Max Fund Drive.

That's right. I think it's time that our viewers sent a powerful message to the overlords at the Maximum Fund Network that we're not a joke. We're here to be taken seriously, and our viewers are willing to support the production of our show on an ongoing basis. Right, we'll be finishing our review of the next generation this year, but we've got big stuff in our mind

for what's next for us. And if you want to put some wind in our sales for those future things, now is the time to do it. And if you join at the $5 per month level, you're already getting great content from us. And that is our San Francisco live show, which was a real fun one to record. Yeah, maybe the best live show we did, because that was the last live show we did at the end of our tour. We were road grizzled, well-practiced. We had been on stage three entire times at that point.

Yeah, you can hear the quality. The freebies don't stop there, though, Adam, because there is this crazy cash of maximum fun podcasts available at the $5 per month level that are only available to donors. There is a donor feed and the second you start donating to maximum fun, you get access to this thing. It's basically hours and hours of great content that's been produced by all the max fun shows over the year. And it's one of my favorite parts of the max fun drive, honestly. That's the five dollar month level. Let's talk about the ten dollar month level, which is

pretty awesome, because you get a drive exclusive enamel pin, and you get to pick your favorite max fun show. So, I mean, you don't have to pick ours, but when you see the one that artist Megan Lynn Kott created for the greatest generation, I think you're gonna want it. It is an official Dustbuster club, an Amel Pinn, like you would put on your lapel. When the network was telling us that they were gonna create a custom prize for our show,

and then didn't write back to discuss what that would be, I got to admit, like I was a little nervous about what format would take. But then we saw the picture of this pin and they made a pin about something that we talk about. It's not just title of show and a couple of pictures of us. Like, it's an inside joke from the show. It's super fun.

Yeah. I love it. If you see somebody walking around with this pin on, give me a high five from your friend's band and Adam. They're in the gang if they're wearing the pin. You know, and that's something to talk about, Adam. I mean, we work very hard to make this show and make these jokes that come up over and over again. And, you know, like, it's really fun for us, but it is also a ton of work. So, I mean, like just seeing this pin just made it feel like that work pays off in some

way, and like getting to see somebody out in the wild wearing this and knowing that they're helping us make this thing is going to be a real thrill. Ben at $20 a month, supporters of our show get the keep in touch kit. It's nine custom made note cards plus envelopes. And these are designs designed by Sonny D. Fernandez, a guy you might be familiar with as the laugh track to the show Jordan Jesse Go. How you get?

You get a four color rocket pen, a getting their rocket stamp and a rocket shaped candle, which I'm being told smells like a freshly sharpened pencil, friendship, and a bit of wax, because it's a candle. Yeah. It's meant to inspire you and your correspondences when you write to your friends telling them about all your favorite podcasts on maximum fun.

The $35 month-level clocks in with these amazing beer mugs. This is what you're going to want to drink your podcast fluid out of from now going forward at them. Yeah, these are large German beer-stine-looking glasses. They look awesome and they're emblazoned with the rocket ship logo of the Mighty Maximum Fun Network. Yeah, go real nice on the shelf next year, Shimoda Bar and Grill Glass.

Of course, there's the $100 per month level, which is the inner circle, and that's the monthly culture club, and then at the $200 a month level, you get your free tickets to Max Funcon 2018. And the best part of all of this stuff is, Adam, these levels are cumulative. So if you go for $35 a month,

you get everything from the $20 a month level, the 10, the five, you get it all. The whole package is yours, including the warm and fuzzy feeling of supporting your favorite Max Fun shows. Oh, shows everywhere. The network is making a big push, a very ambitious and scary push to get to 10,000 new and upgrading donors.

If you want to help us out, that would be really amazing. 10,000 new and upgrading members of the show. And that's like a small fraction of our audience right now. We could do that alone. I hope we get as many greatest gen listeners as possible contributing during Max Fund Drive. It would help all that skepticism that we get around the other hosts of other shows

that are less embarrassing than ours. Right. So go to maximumfund.org slash donate right now. This is the time, this is the place. Don't wait do it now. If you've been thinking about it, don't think about it anymore. That's the time for action. Now, back to the show. I love thee with my eyes, baby, I'm full of energy, but kiss my heart. The ambassador gets summoned by the Ferengi, who claim that they are there to make some ancillary offer in the peace negotiations, something about providing freight transport between the two planets, or serving as some kind of trading

at Hesse or whatever, but they summon the ambassador down and he comes down and he's got like a bunch of gold coins in his hand. He's like, nice try. This isn't nearly enough money to bribe me. Everyone knows chocolate coins fucking suck. It tastes like garbage. Even the dark chocolate ones are just not that good. Yeah, he just sort of flings them on the ground.

He's like, I'm insulted that you would think that I would exchange Kamala for these chocolate coins. Forget it. If, give Warf some of these chocolate coins, he's gonna love it. He's gonna get out his dreidel. They do, they do some like shot reverse shot of glass table here as the tension builds. Yeah, the glass table is really the fourth character

in this scene. It's like, hey, what's up? Hey, hey, I'm over here in the corner. What's up? What's up? Finally the glass table gets to be on the show realizing it's dream from the start. Mm-hmm. Yeah little visit now I Think that the real issue here is you should just never let for Enki and a glass table be in the same room at the same time. I think these glass tables need to unionize. I don't think it's right what they're doing to all these glass tables.

Glass table local number 541. Yeah, they show up outside the enterprise and inflate a giant glass rat. Everybody driving by honks. Ever seen a glass table with a picket sign? I guess you fit that picket sign in a glass table pretty easily because most glass tables have that little hole for the outside umbrella. Oh yeah, that's a good point. That picket sign right in there.

Yeah, and then like a rod iron table, tries to go in the door and they're like, SCAB, FUCK YOU SCAB! Yeah, I feel like a lot of people out there have been wondering why we haven't been so impassioned about joining the Star Trek writers room. It's because we have, we've shared all of our good ideas up to now. Now we're old building a union of glass tables.

That's how we got left. Yeah. Well, yeah. So the ambassador tries to get out of this boring conversation and the Frankie are grabbing on him. They don't understand that no means no. They pull him back, he trips, he goes down, right through the glass table and he's like Six Bay six Bay Bound There's a lot of rugged pieces of glass on this table. It looks like one of the glass table falls that looks especially

Dangerous and bad because they're sticking up Mm-hmm when he's in six Bay they get his hat off and it's like oh, he's just a normal guy Yeah, the whole time I was like oh oh, God, that hat must be covering some crazy loaf. Nope. Nope. Just a full man brow. Normal guy with spots, which kind of read as liver spots because he's so old. Brem was supposed to sort of conduct the ceremony.

He was supposed to be like the doscent for domestic history between the two worlds. And with this guy out of the way, like, the card's sort of the only qualified guy to do peace for these two people. And that's a problem because he doesn't know how. Right. And the only person that can provide that information happens to be a woman that he has been pretty studiously avoiding this entire time. Yeah.

And that is none other than Kamala. Because there's only one thing I can do to bring peace between two worlds, and that's learn to play the marimba. Yeah. So do you think that he's partly just, do you think he's partly just intimidated by her because she has so much volume? She has like bright of Frankenstein level volume in this episode at him. She's got great hair. Maybe the best hair we've seen in a long time. I feel like in season one or two

they would have blown it with this hair. They would have gotten too voluminous. Right, they would have put like pieces of foil in it or something. Yeah, they would have tacked a bunch of ribbons on it. Like, they have the good sense to just sort of blow it out, but not blow it out too much. So, she's teaching in Marimba, they're like, they've got this like, this special temple place in the, in the holodeck where they're gonna they're gonna hold the ceremony and it's like a reproduction of some historic place and there he's she's walking him through all the different parts of the ceremony. It's like a you know, it's like a rocky montage sequence where the card is getting ready to fight. Instead of doing one armed push-ups, he's playing mallet instruments.

Yeah. And like it's perhaps the most offensive part of the episode because it's like more and more him just normalizing the reason that she is there and the function that she serves. And I mean, like, I think that this episode really ties itself in circles trying to get out of this being what it is.

She's always going, no, this is what I want to do. This is my only function in life. And yet, she is a female character that is 100% defined by the man that she will wind up with. And we meet this guy now. Where's the dissenting opinion? Like from one of the crew members, that's what the story was missing, the one dissent to her.

And I don't think Beverly counts. Yeah, they give a very like brief amount of pushback from the doctor. And I think that I think Frank's like puts it in in you know in his way outside of the script. But yeah, they didn't they didn't write a character in to say, hey, how about we not, like, tacitly endorse human trafficking by taking this woman to this guy? You want to know how we can save a character's life, Ben? What if Jority was the dissenting opinion? That would have been amazing. He turns a major corner with that.

He could have been like, hey guys, I've learned a lot over the last couple of years. I'm ready to not be a monster anymore. So we finally meet the arranged groom. And he is like ginger-billy crystal. And it sort of has to be, right? Like, you know the build up to meeting this guy has got to be, like, it must mean someone wrong for her. Right.

That's how the math has to pencil out here. And that is the payoff that we expect, and that's the payoff that we get. This guy is interested in doing business and he's barely interested in the idea that he's about to be given this great gift, I guess. She's looking forward to meeting you. But I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to a range, my wife to murder,

and gildered a frame for it. I'm swamped. And like that's like, I think also another attempt at putting a beard on this very misogynistic episode like oh like I'm I'm not all about human trafficking shit. I'm I'm just I'm just here to like make sure that the piece is achieved. Yeah I mean it's funny to think about whether or not that makes him better or worse for this whole thing. Like, by having him not be overly enthusiastic to be given a woman, like, does that make him quote-unquote better than it would be if he was like,

oh my God, I can't wait to get this real doll. It's gonna be killer. Just before you commit, sir. I would like you to do a little bit of a comparison shop. And I know that they have beat me to market in a lot of key functionality, but the X-bridge model is now perfectly in line from a feature set standpoint with the Creosian Rildal, and it does not have any ethical concerns because it's a totally manufactured product. We can initiate to put you in a real deal today.

I'm even willing to throw in the clear coat for free. Obviously, I have to run that by my manager, but I would really like to do that for you. You seem like a really good guy. It's interesting the gymnastics they do with this character to just sort of walk you up to the line of hating him, but not overtly creating a hateable character, but instead just a hateable scenario. And so we have this, you know, the lead up to the ceremony. And Kamala is in like, what can only be described as a space wedding dress. And she confesses this thing to Picard that's, you know,

meant to play for tragedy, which is that she's been, you know, going through this biological process of being a sex pot to everybody she meets, and ultimately, like, that has to imprint on one particular person so that she's not just a total handful of a wife. Am I right, Adam? Give me a break. You'll leave her alone for five minutes and she's cheating on you. But she's imprinted not on Ulrich, the Valtian ambassador, but on Picard. Isn't it strange that the most significant timeline to the whole story is the moment that

she imprints on the person she's with? There is a countdown to this. We are told there is a countdown to when this diplomatic mission needs to take place. That's the whole reason Picard has to do it with Bremen in 6 Bay. We got to get this done so she can be ginger-billy crystal so she can print on him and no one else. And from then on, we never know what the deadline is. Yeah, they should have put a little ticker in the corner

and just counting it down. Yeah. I mean, I guess the idea is that it's just like a biological function, right? Like, you know, like you never know when you're gonna get your period and then you just are, you know, riding a bike somewhere and you're like, give me a fucking break! I sort of saw it as a little bit manipulative. Oh, absolutely.

I think she wanted to fall in love with Picard. I think Picard was her ideal mate and she saw a way out of an arranged marriage by flipping the switch on imprinting with him and not telling anyone that it was about to happen. But she knows that she has to go do it. Like she's not asking for a hard for a way out. Like I think if she... No she's saying like I have to go be with this guy now and I can do it but I'm always gonna love you. He said something pretty interesting about the end of this episode. So, like Picard sort of acts as father of the bride, walks her down the aisle to Ginger Billy Crystal.

She says her line about, you're my boy, Ginger Billy Crystal, and then they kiss, and then they're linked forever. And then it's the ISO in. Picard's very sad face and then that's the tragedy. And I use that word because that's the word that you used. Was this an effective tragedy for this character? I mean, it is a tragedy in the most

right way possible, which is Picard didn't get the beautiful woman as prize. Picard is very unlucky in love, isn't he? All the women that he's fallen for on the show have been extremely detached and unwilling to, or just uninterested in having a relationship with him. He's never made it work with anyone. The one woman that he's especially close to is still at arms reached in Beverly. It rang us a little bit tragic to me, as sincerely tragic in that, you know, like, here

is right or wrong for how this woman is is constructed as a person like a perfect person for Picard a mathematically perfect person for him and she's like vash if vash wasn't a moral right yeah exactly and so I saw some tragedy in that if you can somehow stomach how she's constructed as a as a person and her reason for being, you know, you can't stop her from existing. But if she's going to have a great life, being with Picard is probably the way that happens, right? And so there's a form of tragedy too in her being with someone who will never appreciate her the way that Picard would.

Like, is there something ethical about that? Like, is there an ethics in the idea that wanting her to be with Picard because that is the best possible consequence for her terrible position? I don't know. I mean, it's just such an absurd premise from the beginning that you have to like rely on too many absurd givings to get to an ethical upshot with this. Yeah, I can't wait to not read all the comments about how I'm pro female sex slave when this episode drops. So good job. The captain walks the ambassador to the

transporter room. The ambassador's like, hey, you fucked it right? You fucker? You could tell me, you fucker. And Picard's like, have a good trip buddy. It's a weird moment. Brem has been super professional throughout. It's a weird moment. Briam has been super professional throughout. It's a weird moment for him to just drop the veil

and go like, brother, they attached me to this assignment because I'm an old man and I have no more lead in the pencil. You seem like a comparatively younger man to me. How did you resist her? Picard sort of does that pivot the way he does in the episode with Riker and the androgynous Person that he's attracted to like he he answers by not answering right Did you like this episode Adam man? Man, I really don't know. I was affected by what happened at the end, both the sadness for Kamala's life and the sadness for Picard,

like intersert of witnessing a tragedy happen in front of him. Like that sucked. The cartoonishness of the Ferengi are awful. That's an unforgivable sin for a end of season five episode. That's supposed to be a great season. Like how are you writing Ferengi that way? In season five, give me a break. Yeah, it's pretty rough.

I don't know. I guess that's my answer. I don't know if I like this episode. I will come down firmly on the side of not liking this episode. I think it's a turkey. I really thought I would. I remember Fump Kajansen being awesome. And it's not her fault. She's great in this episode. She totally is. She totally likes make- Yeah, she makes the case for being a really successful movie star after this. Yeah, absolutely. Good job, I heard. You get to see Patrick Stewart really chew up some scenes for the future movie star, too.

Like they really elevate each other's game in a fun way. Yeah. A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post-show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour.

Let's do it! The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023 and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places. Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's GreatestGenTour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Sherry Reembarishment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris and I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We get stupid with Judy Greer. My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweards.

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Oh, rats, hey, they don't know I'm about to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not and they've such short neck. But I'm hearing we need to get on this off. Gotta get on the art. Yeah. It's about terrain, thought is about to destroy humanity. Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans. We're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that.

And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boat. We came two by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Kerry, available on MaximumFun.org. Hey Ben. What's that Adam? I'm a great guy. Hey, Ben.

What's that at him? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimada? I did. I got to give it to Kamala. There's a line in that scene where she's walking Picard through the playing of the vibraphone or whatever it is. And he's like telling her like, oh yeah, I used to play guitar when I was a kid,

but I hate practicing so I stopped. Did you ever learn an instrument? She's like, yeah, I learned all of them. And it really reminded me of that time Katie Kourik asks Sarah P Palin what newspaper she read. I couldn't tell if she was being truthfully out. Oh no, I learned all instruments or she was like, um, yeah, no, I know all of them. Oh, instrument everywhere. That is a shit ton of instruments, man.

I know. This is space, man. Like, this is like every culture's instruments. You know them? She's like a musical polymath. It could be the greatest tragedy of her life as not being in an arranged marriage. Is that she doesn't join a great band. Yeah, she should be in a super group, Adam. Yeah.

Yeah. Who's your moda? It's hard for me to give my Shimoda no pun intended to anyone else besides Riker. Like he is the guy who is willing to experience her sexuality in the most cartoonish way possible. Like he is the perfect

foil for her. Yeah. Like he gets seduced by her. He has to go take a cold shower afterwards Like you've had that conversation with a buddy, right? You're in a bar talking about a girl and then that girl walks in and Yes, you're just fucking leave Like there's the idea that like Sometimes the troubles of like the future seem like total sci-fi fantasy and then other times They're very human contemporary troubles that these characters have and that just seems like

Really now, you know, it's just gotta rub this crank raw these couple of days That's why he's swinging his leg over here. It's the chafing What do we have coming up for the next episode? The next episode is season 5 episode 22 imaginary friend. A little girl's imaginary friend becomes a frightening reality for the crew when she threatens to destroy the entrepreneur. Do you remember this episode, Adam? How many times do we have to see that fucking elementary school story?

Yeah, they've built it so gotta use it. Yeah, I remember this episode. I remember it being a real dog. Yeah, I'm not really looking forward to it and unfortunately we have no vetoes. I don't know if this one would have been a veto for me, because I think that this one's gonna be like funny bad, but I don't know, I guess we'll have to see. I'm always thinking episodes where people get taken over by things, make them deep voice aliens.

Is the girl a deep voice alien? I can't remember. I don't know. It seems like a frequent consequence to having your body taken over. Get that. Great big deep voice. I guess we'll find out.

That's going to be the next episode, Adam. Ben, we usually use the end of our episodes to thank a variety of people. I think it's appropriate during a pledge drive episode to thank our Legion of Viewers who have supported this along the way and especially now during the pledge drive, right? You know the folks at Max Fun have on multiple occasions said that they were really impressed with the level at which our viewers supported the show before we ever did a Max Fund drive. It's not normal for as many people to have made the proactive choice outside of a fund drive to support.

So we have a very special debt of gratitude to pay to those people because they really gave us an era of legitimacy and really helped us through our first year of making this show. And the idea that a bunch of people are going to add themselves to that list that support the show financially is really touching. I mean, I, today is a day that maybe people will be aware of.

I like screwed something up and I had an, an in, an a version of an episode that wasn't really quite done. Show up in people's feeds accidentally for a couple hours. And I like scrambled to get it down, but by the time I had gotten it down, it had been downloaded like 2,500 times. And I was like, really annoyed at myself, and then I was like, then it is amazing that 2,500 people download anything you make. So, it made me feel a lot better about a situation

that I was really angry at myself over because it was a dumb screw up that I did because I was tired and distracted. And, you know, the support that we get for this show is amazing. And I think that the support that we get for this show is amazing. And I think that the people that listen and support the show know that the money that they're contributing is going directly to us making this the best thing it can be, you know.

Yeah, I mean, I've always taken this project as seriously as a job. And I think that shows with the production value that we put into it. We are going to go on to do more shows after this and positive about it, but this is the only pledge drive that the greatest generation in its current form is going to have. So if what we've done on this show has made your day better, your week better, if you see the value that the show has given you on a weekend and week out basis. We would really appreciate it if you let us know that through whatever donation you are comfortable with during the pledge.

Yeah, if you like the tip, a dollar or two for a drink at a bar, think about the money you would spend on a monthly basis as being that and think about what whether what we're doing here is a value to you and if it is and you're in a position to support support you'll get some cool prizes and our undying gratitude. Not to make this any longer than it needs to be at them but we should thank Adam Ragusia and Dark Materia for our music and once again everybody that's listening and great folks at MaximumGund.org. Thanks all and with that we will be back at you next time with another great episode of Star Trek the Next Generation and another episode of the greatest generation that we wish would just go back to being

invisible the way it was supposed to be. Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture, artist owned. Listener supported.