The Greatest Generation - Nook Conspiracy (VOY S5E25)

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

When Voyager crosses paths with the USS Equinox, their crew brings a dusting of mirror-universe energy aboard. But when it’s Captain vs Captain and Janeway pulls firepower rank, Doc Holoday checks their research lab for Canadian girlfriends. What’s the cost of a big crank? Which guest actor has the Gyllenhaal effect? When is it ok to open carry at a funeral? It’s the episode that would never comment on a Slimer’s appearance.Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Friends of DeSoto for Democracy.Friends of DeSoto for Justice. Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker!Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFollow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!The Greatest Generation is on Twitch.Facebook group | Subreddit | Discord | WikiSign up for our mailing list!Get a thing at podshop.biz!

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Watch your bad shot. Hello. I'm Captain Captain Bringing with the U.S.S.S. Boardhead. Captain Captain Captain Bringing with the U.S.S. Boardhead Captain Captain Captain Bringengwe the U.S.S.

Boardhead U.S. Captain Captain Welcome to the greatest generation to Star Trek Podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed about heaven A Star Trek Podcast

I'm Adam Prenica I'm Ben Harrison I've got some questions for you And I'm ready to spend the entire Marin Getting answers. Okay. There are four lights. I have not seen a single second of the TV show Bosch. They hit television show Bosch. And I know you're a huge Bosch head. But to me, Bosch exists in a universe where like burn notice exists,

where there are like lots of people who love these shows. I have no idea what they love so much about them. They're a total mystery to me. I want to lightly push back on the being a Bosch head characterization. Uh-huh. I do not want to.

How are you not a Bosch head? Look at you. I've watched Bosch, but it's not like a favorite of mine. It's not like my wogie. I'm not going to be sad if you drag Bosch. Bosch is not a great show. Are you a little bit embarrassed to be a Bosch head? Is that what this is?

I watched Bosch. I found it to be diverting Capaganda. I enjoy a procedural. I enjoy the procedural elements of any procedural, but I don't care for the message of Bosch is not good. I wanted to talk about Bosch because Titus Welliver is at Star. Titus Welliver is in this episode of Voyager and I didn't want to learn. I didn't notice that he was in. Our episode of Voyager with all of this Titus Welliver talk. Yeah, with all the Bosch talk.

Because this guy has a face. Like as he's aged, Titus Welliver has looked like five different actors, and I can't understand how that's happened. Yeah, the camera swings past him, and it's a bit of the Adam Scott in first contact situation where you're like, wait a second, was that? Yeah.

No. The giveaway is the voice. Yeah. Boy oh boy does Titus Welliver have a great set of pipes. This is the work I do. It's got a good voice. Yeah. Boy, oh boy, does tight as well, have a great set of pipes. This is the work I do. It's got a good voice on him. He also has that kind of like Jesus impressionist painting, eyes, situation that seem to be like very deeply set

and following you around even though they make you feel watched. You're saying he looks like potato Jesus? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He kind of bumps me in this episode. Like I can't really concentrate on the story without observing just how much eye oxygen Titus well ever takes in every scene that he's in.

I like I'm locked down to him the whole time. He's definitely one of the most appealing parts of Bosch. I mean, I haven't seen a moment of it at all. I know Lance Retic isn't it. How could he not be the most appealing part? The late great. RSVP. Lance Retic is in Bosch playing Lance Retic.

Uh-huh. A character that is almost indistinguishable from the character he played in the wire. One of the great characters. Love that guy. Yeah. Lieutenant Daniels is, you know, we stand a legend, but I would say that, yeah, like Bosch is the wire methadone on a good day. You just wish it was the wire. Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah. Jerry Ryan had a, had a whole season on Bosch.

Oh, Annie Wershing is in the show too. Yeah, I was I was pitching that for greatest Trek spring break, but it would have been hard to like pick just one episode. You said all cop shows are bad and it ended up getting vetoed. Wow, tight as well over what a career. Yeah. What a career he's turned that face into. He's in Gone Baby Gone. He's in Deadwood. God, he's in the town. I love the town.

In the town, he's the sidekick to the guy from Mad Men. Oh, yeah. With the big hog. Oh, yeah. John Hogg. Yeah, I bet Titus Willvers packing. Do you think? I mean, I'm not saying he's packing like Neson.

People with big hogs always kind of find each other, right? Oh, like. If you were cool in high school, you managed to find other cools and adulthood that you hang out with. You just sort of know based on charisma, right? So you're saying all the other actors in your takins and your non-stops and your other later daily

I'm Neson movies also have monster cranks that are always a little bit leaky. Well, I think we know, yeah, we know of Neson about the big leaky crank. Do you think that's the cost of a big crank is the leak? Yeah, maybe it's like, it's so big that the like, your ittle swinkters can't keep it contained. Well, if that's the case, why is mine leaking all the time? That is a mystery for the ages.

What's the, what are you search to find those? Calco.com.pants.com. I think you just, you open up a private window, you search a big leaky cranks. You search Nesan Calico Cut. And you see where that search takes you. And it takes you to Nesan. It takes you to LiamNesan.com.

Yeah, you know Nesan gives. It's got to give. Everybody gives. Yeah. Well, I feel like I've exercised that need to have a moment with Titus Reliver. Yeah. And now I feel like we can coast through this episode of Voyager with very minimal distraction.

I'd say the other part of Bosch that is really hard is that Jamie Hector is supposed to be like his beloved sidekick. Like there's a season or two where they have static, but like he's supposed to be his number one guy down there at Hollywood homicide. And Jamie Hector is by far the scariest bad guy in the wire. Like he's so much scarier than almost any other bad guy that the wire had. Close your eyes. You won't hurt none. He popped up and we owned this city. Did you ever watch that show?

No, should I? That was a good one too. Jamie Hector fucking ruled on that show. Jamie Hector's great. It's just hard for me to like not be a little bit scared of him, you know? Yeah. He's got a good face.

Got all these guys have good faces. I was like, he's a good face for menace, you know? I'm looking at the IMDB of all these actors and then I look at myself in our Slack window and I'm like, this face doesn't look good at all. I got tabs open for all these great faces and I got my own tab open. It's just very disappointing.

Got disappointing tab. You're gonna buy something first? Yeah, you wanna see if we got disappointing episode? Sure do, Ben. It's the season finale of season five of Star Trek Voyager. It's episode 25. It's called Equinox Part One. Reaver course. Unless you've got something a little bigger

in your torpedo tubes, I'm not turning around. I feel like I need to pay a membership to watch this episode and a big one. Well, that's a premium experience. It is. Yeah, everything is dust free, a lot of bottled water in this episode. Not just a bunch of sweaty dads and cargo shorts on a elliptical. You know, this is a very good looking episode

as it relates to its guest stars. So I think it does sort of feel like an equinox in that way, huh? It does. We open on a starship with some fucked up shields. And there's a different design of ships than we've ever seen, but it definitely has no cells that look enterprise E-era, don't they?

Yeah, I mean, it's really not mustakeable that this is a Federation starship. Can't be confused with any other kind. And this captain is a real screamer, isn't he? Yeah. Armageddon! Yeah! We've never seen the inside of one of these,

so we don't know if they come with all the girders and wires hanging down just right off the dealership lot at Utopia Planesia. This could be like the pre-distressed jeans version of a federation starship, is one that we've not seen before. This could be that. We just, we're gonna record later today, an episode of the Hit Baywatch podcast, The Santa

Monica Mountains. And there's a shot in that of Mitch Buchanan wearing some pre-distress jeans that I feel like we're gonna spend 10 minutes on. Can't wait. And only the friends at Disoda that support us on a monthly basis at maximumfund.org slash join are going to get to hear that conversation. But we'll give you this one for free. Yeah, whatever this is is free. Unmusticable face on this captain, the John Savage face.

Another one of the great faces in all of Hollywood. I feel like it's not a huge leap for a guy whose last name is Savage to be cast as a guy whose last name is Ransom. It really feels like a biffieager type of name here. John Savage, biffieager. Seems, I mean, seems like a cop movie. Yeah. Well, we'll see if all equinox crew are bastards. I was gonna say bad, but that's not what the beast is.

Where is it? Speaking of voices, the John Savage voice. Drop the shield. Oh, boy, even when it's screaming, God, he's great. You know what, Adam? I'll say I would maybe have a more relaxed political opinion if all cops were Bosch. Hmm.

Yeah. That's what we're all here to talk about. Savage is also extremely good looking here. Like the ship is in pieces, the girders are down, the sparks on the smoke are flying everywhere. His uniform, dirty, his hair must. But he wears it well. But John Savage has a jaw that looks like it's made out of steel. The camera loves him. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like his face would be like really intense to see in real life. Yeah.

Like fully lit. Yeah, yeah. This is why when he's on Voyager later in the bright lights of Voyager, I can't get comfortable around him. Yeah, I saw Maggie Gyllenhaal in real life one time at a coffee shop and I've always thought she was a very beautiful actor, but like you could tell something insane was going on before you even knew she was in the room

when she walked into this coffee shop, like the center of gravity shifted and everybody's drink like sloped up against the side of their glass. Yeah. It was totally insane. And I bet John Savage has that effect. John Savage has the Gyllenhaal effect. I'm sure John Savage has that effect. John Savage has the Jill and Hall effect.

I'm sure he would take that as a compliment. Yeah, yeah. The captain gives a strange order here. He realizes that their shield emitters can't recharge and things are pretty dire. They're gonna need those shields up against whatever it is that they're fighting at this moment. And so he orders the shields dropped.

And as soon as the ship does that, everyone whips him out and starts pointing them skyward. And there are these hurls in the air and out from these hurls, what look like banshee's come out. I thought they kind of looked a little bit like slimer. He's a ugly little spot, isn't he? Like, if slimer got on like one of those miracle pills that the celebrities are taking to lose weight, this is what they would look like maybe. Yeah, this is... You know, you never want to comment on someone else's weight, man. So if I saw a slimer and slimer look like this, I would just say, uh, hope you're doing

well. You're looking great. I wouldn't say you're looking thin. Yeah. No, that's not good. You don't know what slimer's dealing with. That's not appropriate. It's not your fucking business.

Yeah. Stop looking at slimer's body. Slimer's eyes are up here. When one of these banshee's touches a crew person, they are dead. Like instantly, like, this goes by so fast, but you see the like life come out of them in this like suctiony way. The banshee is lava. You cannot be touched by the banshee.

You can't touch the banshee. This is not like the banshee of Inner Sharon, right? Right, no. This is a bansheeanshee of Inner Sharon, right? Right, no. This is a banshee with all of its fingers. This banshee, though, also doesn't want to be friends with you anymore. You do like me. I don't. After the theme where in the As lab where seven of nine and Kote and Janeway

watch a distress call from this ship, the ship being the USS Equinox and Captain Ransom articulating the danger they're in. And what else are you gonna do at this point? They've got a Federation Starship in the D-Quad, they set coordinates and they lay in an intercept course, they get on out there. Yeah, Janeway knows this, dude.

This is a scientist in whom she held some esteem. He discovered that a intelligent species that had long been thought to be extinct were in fact still out there, even proving the Borgs wrong. This guy sounds great. He's great at first contact especially. Yeah. He loves meeting alien life forms. He's great at first contact especially. He loves meeting alien life forms.

He's the captain of this starship equinox and Janeway quickly disabuses Chicoetay of any wishful thinking surrounding the equinox being their rescue because the equinox is designed for planetary research. It's not a dequad goer as a craft. Yeah. It's like sending a dinghy out to Catalina or something. That is way too Southern California specific. We got to think of something else. If you look at the scatter plot of Federation starships,

suitedness to the dequad, you've got your Delta flyer way over here at one end of the spectrum. You've got your dinghy and your equinoxes way over here at at one end of the spectrum. You've got your dinghy's and your equinoxes way over here at the other end of the spectrum. Yeah. Yeah. Captain Ransom does not have a face for dinghy. I'll tell you that much.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Like if I'm just matching up captains with their ships, this one doesn't look like a good fit. Yeah, he looks like he should be up on a galaxy class or similar, right? Yeah. This is what happens, though, when you go to rent a federation starship, you think you're getting galaxy class or similar.

Right. Oh, yeah, and they're like, hey, so yeah, your reservation, we have your reservation, but we don't have your car. I know why we have reservations. I don't think you do. Seven wants to meet this guy, which immediately in my mind made me think, oh, this is gonna be a romantic interest, isn't it? Definitely not that.

Yeah. Do you know what species... They're talking about when she says that they like... He found this species that was thought to be extinct. Farmer hoggit played one in Deuceface 9. about when she says that they found this species that was thought to be extinct. Farmer hoggit played one in Deuceface 9. They're the ones with their like really wrinkly faces that have like a real bright line down the middle.

Oh yeah, they look like scrotums a bit. Good job, Captain Ransom. Yeah, they seem great. So on the bridge Voyager comes out of warp and they get the Econx on screen and the shields are all weird and Janeway hails them. But before she can get any words out, ransom straight up interrupts her with orders to extend their shields around the equinox.

And Janeway is like, well, ordinarily I would have something to say here, but instead I'm just going to do that. And so they do. And then a bunch of these holes start opening up around the ship, but then they close right away. So you're like so much in this episode is about that sound, that shrieking sound of these holes. You hear something? And how they make you feel. I hated this sound. So it was very effective. I thought so too. I was, I thought it was really well designed

every time it starts playing. You're like, nope, nope, nope. Yeah. Get it away. Yeah, it did not like that. But nothing to worry about here. All the holes close up. Fisures averted.

They get no one on hails at this point, so it's beam over a rescue team time to check it out. And they beam over a lot of people. And all over the ship. Yeah. Of course it's locked in. Quit. Quit this one to me.

Don't be careful, because I'm a man to say this once. Do it. We start in the engineering section. We can tell that there's some weird equipment piped into their warp core, just by the way the camera pans over to it. Yeah. And how Jerry rigged it looks.

It looks like a home distillery set up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it looks like they're making moonshine in the warp core. Sounds great. Which wouldn't be the most dangerous thing a Federation crew has done right next to the warp core. Sounds great. Which wouldn't be the most dangerous thing a Federation crew has done right next to the warp core. So Kote and Periss are on one of these rescue teams

and they look around with BLT and they find some mummified star fleets around. You hate to see this. They look like your radians a little bit with the way they get all wrinkly. Yeah, they really do. That must be a real nightmare for Captain Ransom. I don't think there's any reusing of these uniforms.

No, no. They also find a lady who's taken refuge under just an absolute pile of girders. Like you love when the girders kind of fall in a yurt structure that you can inhabit for a while. Sure, yeah. That's good. What are you doing in my yard?

We should all be so lucky. Harry Kim finds a different survivor with a terrifying voice. And Lessing is this person's name. Lessing has subtitle voice. There's something about how injured he is and how softly he speaks, where I was like, I can't hear a word this guy saying.

Yeah. He really has the aspect of a guy who stated his post. Yeah. He doesn't even know if he has legs. Yeah. That was dark shit. I can't find your legs. He said he hasn't felt them for a couple of days,

so he's been just down on the floor suffering for a long time. Well, you know if you haven't felt your leg in two days, you have pissed and shit yourself a lot and not known it, right? Yeah, shout out to Harry Kim in 7-9 for keeping it cool with how bad it must smell in there, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's, right? Yeah.

Yeah, it's really bad. Yeah. I love Harry Kim putting Seven on bedside manner patrol. Talk to him, keep him calm. That how ill-suited she is to that? Stayed with me. Imagine how bad Harry Kim has to be at that job, to be the one to delegate that task to seven. Andson really knows that I sell. Yeah. So they start digging him out of the the Pile of Gurders. Nielix in six bay actually receives some incoming fire from a real wild-eyed dude.

And they have to stun him. Didn't you want to stay with this guy forever? I was like, oh man, this guy's story is great. They send him over to Six Bay. We never really see him again. Was this the guy from the peanut butter commercial that says, um, boo? Excuse me. His face looks really familiar to me.

Oh, well, you know, the, No, I know, I know. Oh no, it's a milk commercial, not a peanut. That's not how you advertise peanut butter. No! This guy. I know. Oh no, it's a milk commercial. That's not how you advertise peanut. This guy is Stephen Dennis, one of the great two first name names. Oh yeah. And I'm looking through his credits, but I don't see. I don't see milk guy, which should be the name of his credit, right? Boy, he typically wears a lot more loaf than this.

Yeah, he's definitely been in other episodes. Look at him, he was a, he was venom and think tank. He was? Yeah. Okay, just look up Aaron Burr, Milk Commercial and tell me that's not this guy. Oh, fuck, it's Sean Whalen. Sean Whalen.

That's a different guy. Yeah, it's Sean Whalen. Sean Whalen. That's a different guy. Yeah, that's not. Directed by Michael Bay, I didn't know that. Yeah, dude, that's one of the early bays. One of the great bays. Surprise, it's not more explosive. Yeah. One of the last great bays.

Yeah, he took that Doritos commercial for a ride. That's one of the great commercials. All right. Back on topic. On the bridge, two Valkan Janeway enter. They find a couple of people still alive, namely Bosch and Captain Ransom. At first, I was like, ransom cannot leave his chair, but it is quickly revealed that he will not leave his captain's chair. And he won't tell Janeway who's been attacking them, only that they've been under siege for weeks. And oh boy, I really know this feeling a lot like Janeways in there trying to console captain rantsum and captain rantsum Initially is very excited to see her, but then when he realizes who she really is It's a great moment of disappointment. Mm-hmm. He's like, oh, we're back on earth and You're here to rescue me. So it's all good news, right? And Janeway is like, actually, things are far worse

than is generally known. And what's interesting, one bit of trivia that we learn here is that the caretaker is responsible for ransom ship being in the D-quad. What? I thought the caretaker was turned into a little nugget. Yeah, I got the sense that the equinox has been here for even longer. Amazing.

Yeah. He is steadfast that he's going to stay on his bridge and when he gets this crushing news about, like, we're not here to rescue you. You're supposed to be here to rescue us. Captain Ransom's like, I've been sitting in my own filth for two days. I think, I think it would actually be very bad

if I stood up right now. Yeah. The smell molecules that would be released are too dangerous for everyone here. The system that automatically beams the poops out, failed weeks ago. The uniform that automatically beams the poops out failed weeks ago. The uniform that covers my growing area feels like wet cardboard. I've nearly transformed into Bruce McGill.

That's a fun callback. In the mess all, Captain Ransom and everyone else from the Equinox has changed and taken a shower. Thank God. Because you do not want to do a wake, stinking of shit. Yeah. Smash cut to funeral is not where I expected this episode

to go, but he's kind of eulogizing the folks that died. I guess most recently, like they lost a ton of crew over the years It will be missed. It kind of feels like a gang members funeral because everyone's packin dustbusters Yeah, like what's the deal with the open carry at the funeral guys It's how they would have wanted it I guess this is just a security measure because fissures could open up at any moment. Yeah. Is that what's behind it?

That's the understanding. The crew knows about this fissure problem, but we don't really know the extent of it yet. Yeah. The funeral sort of breaks up with some notes of, you know, there's hope for the future. Everybody starts to kind of go their separate ways. Janeway kind of puts some teams together to start

assessing the damage and fixing up the equinox and Bosch is like, hey, I gotta go say was up to my old pal, BLT. I know her. We smashed in college. What a scene. What a scene with Bosch and BLT. He wants a sweater back. And this is awkward because BLT uses the sweater for both times

of the month. Bosch has maintained a sort of like hyper-sensitive affect since college, which now that he's a grown adult seems a little weird, like he's still writing albums and touring about that, but he starts in with her and he says, if you wanted to distort my sweater, the blue one, all you need it to's go to the D-Quad. Yeah, I mean, if she wanted to break up with this guy, she went to Great Lanks.

To do so. Yeah, it's like going on, on like, you know, foreign exchange to break up with someone and find out that like they're also doing a program in Prague. What? You're here! Fuck! Imagine how disappointed she had to be when like she didn't have it in her to to break up with them directly or like give them the let down. She's like, well he's never going to follow me to the make-wee. Make-wee? And this guy's like, oh yeah, make-wee's. Cool. And she's like, oh!

I'm gonna have to get myself lost in the decoid to shake this guy. Paris is a little shaken up that he has a cute scenic name for BLT. Bacon let us intamato, it was a nickname. Oh, a romantic. He's called out for being jealous, but he's just asking questions. You're saying he's like the Tucker Carlson of jealousy? I am.

Yeah, and hey, Harry Kim, while people are just throwing nicknames around, what the fuck is turkey platter? What are you even talking about, man? You're bad at nicknames. What do you say turkey platter? Let's continue reviewing the episode. What the fuck was that about?

Is he calling him a pussy? No, I mean Dan Savage says the turkeys are strong. Right. Actually. Yeah. What does John Savage say about the issue though? We may never know. Objection noted, we'll do this without you. Do it. Do it. Objection noted, we'll do this without you. Do it. Do it.

Objection noted, we'll do this without you. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Engineer Gilmore is the one that was rescued by Chico Te on the ship and in a corridor they chat about what her new duties might be on Voyager, none of which involve pleasing that booty. No.

She doesn't want to go back to the Equinox, Ben, she's afraid of it, and Chicoete is fine with that. Her PTSD seems pretty severe. She's not doing well emotionally. And like, I feel like the crew of the Voyager have seen enough shit for it to be a little bit cold that they're not more sensitive to the psychological traumas of these people. Like, this is typified by the scene where Nielix gets shot at and, you know,

stuns the guy in radios to the doctor. Like, we got another one. He's not physically wounded, but mentally he is not in great shape. And it's like, that's a wound to Nelix. There is that scene where Janeway and Ransom are together and Ransom's like, you know, is a pretty brutal scene over there. You didn't, you can never understand what I had to do. And Janeway was like, yes, you went through two weeks of hell. And if you have some time, I'll tell you all about my year of hell. And he's like, I didn't want to get into a time span of hell measuring contest.

Uh-huh. There's a full on breakdown here in the turbo lift that is pretty scary. And I would have thought that Chico Tay would be like the crew member, a Voyager, most sensitive to this, like that he'd be like falling all over himself to get her into a room with a bindle to like work through this stuff. I thought for a moment on the turbo lift, it was just the sound of Chico Tay trying to hold in a fire, but like, but like the end of a balloon letting out air. Right.

You hear a banshee scream and you aren't sure if it's for real or not. But the good thing is like if you can hear the fart, you usually can't smell the fart and vice versa. Oh, is that the rule? Yeah, because the poo right at the exit, right? It keeps it from vibrating too much, but the air flowing over the poo carries smell with it. But if there's not a poo there,

there's a lot more room for the skin to flap back and forth. So it makes a big noise, but no poo, no poo smell. Are you trying to tell me that the poop vibrates when you fart? No, the poop limits the vibration. It's like putting a pillow in the back of your bass drum. I'm not sure this is scientifically sound. I'll try a diagram for you. You're right.

Engineer Gilmore is like, I'm gonna take the ladder down to where we're going. And to Kote is like, cool, as long as I get to go down first. That's what she says. In the ass lab, they start to talk about, like, what are we gonna do about this ongoing alien attack? Because the Voyager has extended shields around the equinox,

but we're still getting forays by these sliders ever so often and bit by bit, they're gonna wear the shields down. So we need to come up with a more sustainable solution. And Bosch, I believe it is, suggests the idea of building a net. And they have some science that they've gotten started on doing this over on their ship, but it's like.

Yeah. I've got a Canadian girlfriend, but she's in a compartment that's been flooded with radiation. So you can't meet her. Yeah, she's not coming to the dance. She has to go home soon. So, they're like, maybe we can try downloading the drawings of it from the computer.

Captain Ransom fires that up, but all he gets is the drawing that I'm going to do for you of why a silent fart smells and a noisy fart does not. I really, really, really can't wait to see our followers plummet when this is posted to the greatest check Instagram. No one's going to see it because it's actually gonna get, it's gonna get banned. It's gonna get the account banned. You can't post stuff like that. Okay, I'll just,

I'll just get post catalogical diagrams to Instagram ban. I'm gonna Jackie Alloria to you then. Everybody else can just picture it in their mind. We learn here that these aliens can't survive in their world after more than a couple of seconds. That seems like useful information, right? Right. Doesn't save them from everybody getting desiccated if they attack on mass,

but if they can stop the aliens before they attack, then, you know, like the aliens can't do anything. Socially, it's, you're probably better off this way because there just isn't time to ask a question. You shouldn't ask about their rapid weight loss. Right. It's not appropriate.

No. Over on the bridge of the Equinox Janeway and ransom are working on downloading these schematics and they kind of trade some some war stories about some different bad shit that's happened to them in the D quad. He's referencing aliens that we never even encountered with Voyager. If you're talking to a captain that has illusions toward like real Lord of the fly shit that he's been through, I think you need to ask follow-up questions. follow up questions, Janeway. Mm-hmm.

She's just kind of letting him spool this out on his time. This is the scene where you begin to formulate the hypothesis that Captain Ransom is a dangerous man that maybe cannot be trusted at this exact moment. Because it's like, part of it is about like their command styles. She's like, it's weird that nobody on your crew calls you captain. And he's like, well, when you've been through what we've been through, like

decorum and rank, stop meaning the same thing. Yeah. Like the next question should be like, what specifically? That sounds like a very hard two weeks. like a very hard two weeks. Like I my mind keeps going back to this like this is two weeks. They've been doing this specific adventure for two weeks, but they had their own set of adventures before that, right? Sure, but those adventures were fine compared to this. Like, hold on, stop the show for a second.

Okay, so you're saying since they started dealing with the slimers is when they stopped using rank? That's what I was thinking. I was thinking everything went to hell two weeks ago. Wow. I guess it's not super clear in the script. Yeah. This is one of those episodes that has like

seven writers credits, so. Yeah. It's a writer salad up. I feel like maybe they had something in there and then it like got edited out and they know what to remember that it wasn't in the episode anymore. You think this is a great scene where Ransom finds the dedication plaque to his ship. He picks it up and blows it off until you notice that it had been used as a as a bludgeoning weapon And one of the corners. Yeah, is that blood captain ransom No, it's ketchup It's delicious Slowly sticks his tongue out to touch it. She's like I'll take your word for it

hung out to touch it. I'll take your word for it. Speaking of ketchup, ran some guys down and finds Bosch and the Messhall and they have a little hushed conversation. And this is the kind of first first reveal that something far more evil is a foot than was previously known. They're compounding factors here. One is that there's clearly a conspiracy with Bosch and Captain Ransom and two, he's right up in that nook when they talk about it. This is a nook conspiracy in a way that makes me very uncomfortable.

We had a conversation about the prime directive and it seems pretty clear that she actually takes that fairly seriously. If I may give me a fucking break. Sounds like something you would order at Jamba Juice. What the fuck? They believe the people of Voyager will never understand what they had to go through

the last two weeks. And they need to keep these people away from their Canadian girlfriend in the research lab, no matter what. Yeah. In the ass lab, the dude that Seven and Harry rescued shows up and explains he's been assigned to help Seven do research on the slimers.

Lessig walks in and Seven's like, hey, looking good and Lessigs like, hey, looking good. And Lessick's like, yeah, legs are great. And he like pulls off his pants at D-Dust Track Suit style. And his legs are just fucking ribbons. Sevens like, whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

And he's like, seven. My eyes are up here. She can't take her eyes off those legs. Yeah. Something interrupts seven's vomiting here. It's the sound of the alien screeches. Yeah. And once they both hear it, they draw their dustbusters. The aliens have changed their tactics.

And we smash up to the bridge where we're finding out that lateral shields are offline and they're like scrambling to reestablish protection they just get it done in time like no fizzers Yeah, no fizzers No fizzers it seems like things are gonna be fine, right? No wrong. Adam a gluffling group. Is your want seven shares this new plan they're working on to maybe stop the fissure issue. Yeah, they're talking about this thing that they built. Did you hear my stomach just now? No. Do you hear it now? Does it

sound like a fissure is about to open? It was crazy. I just said that word in my stomach burbled for like 10 straight seconds. Wow Cut over to windy Windies like adding to the diagram. There's the silent fart There's the noisy fart and then there's the noisy stomach and that's a tone hole disgusting Schematic the roser headphones into the fireplace. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I've got to get bit. Not now put your lot number your mouth. But I've got to get bit. Not now it's just a joke.

A greatest gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why? Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it! The Sherry Reembarishment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates

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open just pull it out, give Jordan Jesse go try. Being smart is hard, be dumb instead. Oh, rats, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in mine. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this. We've got to get on the art.

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No more doing this. Captain's the captain. We know the U.S. No more doing this. So they have this multi-phasic chamber that they developed before everything went all the way to hell over on the equinox. And they've been coming up with the idea of like how you could expand this multi-phasic

chamber into something that could protect the entire ship. And Sevedin has this idea of a security grid that will just like multi-phasic chamber any phasor that opens up before the slimer can cause any problem. Yeah. And one of the things that causes a problem with the slimer is like mentioning its weight. Right, it's like, you don't know what the slimer's going through, okay?

Right, and it's just mining its own fucking business going through life. And then like, you have to make it about that. And it's like, can I think about anything else ever? Yeah. I just want to eat hot dogs and terrorize hotels with my friends. This idea of evacuating the equinox. I mean, it's a tough moment anytime you have

to evacuate an equinox. Hmm. Probably a good moment anytime you have to evacuate in an equinox. Right. This bathrooms are gotta be great, right? I'm sure. Probably a bunch of single stalls.

But like if you're on the elliptical and you let a real loud one go, I feel like people would evacuate. You don't go to gyms, do you? No one's farting on ellipticals. You don't fart on the elliptical? Sure do. Seems like a lot of movement to know fart on the elliptical? Sure do. Seems like a lot of movement to never fart.

I'm holding my burbles in. Huh. Rantum does not want to evacuate the equinox. He wants his ship and I get it. Once you get a starship, yeah. Oh, I would not want to give that up. Janeway should have been like, relax.

Picard had the stargazer and abandoned it to the Ferengi and they gave him the D. No, I'm thought about this for years. Could you separate the saucer of the Equinox? Oh man, that's good enough. I would love to see the battle bridge of the Equinox. Yeah. No, I'm afraid not. Very small. Ransom takes so much umbridge with the idea of leaving the equinox that he's pretty direct with his idea of just remaining there. I don't want to force the issue, but I am prepared to return to the equinox with my crew. When they're at captain's heads, Janeway quotes the rulebook at him. She's like, look, the ship with the biggest guns has the captain and charge. The logic here is we need to, you know, confine ourselves to one ship to mount

a more effective defense against the sliders. And it gets right up to the point of Janeway having to directly order him before he's like, all right, well, I'm not going to make you do that. So I'm a reasonable man. We may not see eye to eye on issues such as the prime directive, but I'm not going to put you in a more uncomfortable situation than you have to be. This is one of those scenes because Titus Welliver and John Savage are together in a two shot when they react to Janeway,

where I really like the casting of this episode because these two guys just don't have the general softness of a command crew on a federation starship. And I'm sure you could articulate that in a better way than me, but like, they look too fucking hard for this job. They look like, they look like something else. Yeah.

They don't look like Captain the Nexo on a federation ship. Yeah, they have, they have a dusting of, uh, of like mirror universe energy or something. Yeah, they really do. Rantom's like, all right, I'll take your order, but first I wanna go back to my ship and gather my personal belongings. And this seems reasonable, not suspicious at all. Every captain has his trinkets. Yeah.

He's no different. So the next scene is in engineering, where Bosch is downloading the schematics for this new version of the multifacicasic shield generator that they're going to be installing to secure the ship and BLT catches him in here. And a terminal he's not supposed to be using. Same old Max going through my things. Yeah, he's peeping at a terminal.

He shouldn't be a bus. How's the peeping at a terminal, he shouldn't be. Hey, Bosch, how's the peeping? It's such a wild defense for Bosch here. Bosch in order to cover up his espionage, pivot into making a pass to cover it up. Like this is totally gonna be distracting, me making a pass at a married woman. Wait, and BLT? I think she's just dating.

I think it was silver BLT, the gut married. Oh, right. I just don't want you to get letters. This was, yeah, this is an alternate BLT, the gut married. Yeah. This is, they're still dating, but still they're an item, not really an energetic defense by BLT here to this move. Don't you think?

Yeah, she seems more open to it than she should be, especially when he goes Do you think that in cling on culture you can have two special people? You know what I'm saying? And it's not cheating. The friends of Disoto that were sending us snaps from the Star Trek cruise showed us that some people wear their Star Trek band with an upside down pineapple on it. So maybe I didn't look closely at what BLT had on her brooch in this scene, but maybe she had one of those. Which is fine.

I'm sure at this point in the mission on Voyager, I mean, you've been everywhere twice around, but no. I lasted 22 minutes. Yeah, especially BLT. Yeah. She's been everywhere four times around. Ha ha ha. In the messel, Ticoteote and Kim talk to Gilmore, which is the lady that Tukote saved from the

pile of girders, about the salvage job they need to do on the equinox. And she really does a forceful job and kind of redirecting them away from anything of value and into whatever shit they have in their storage base. Yeah, because they're talking about dilithium and she's like, we don't have any dilithium. That is not what you're going to profit from, but we do have like, broke-ass, holodeck style, neural interfaces. We got lots of like toys and guigas that you might enjoy. Yeah. So that's how you kept yourself entertained.

Beats checkers. Very disappointing to everyone involved, I think. Yeah. But something that Naomi Wildman would probably love hearing about, she interrupts them to welcome Gilmore to the crew and to demonstrate her precociousness to everyone. And Gilmore seems shocked that there are kids aboard this ship. But fortunately Naomi Wildman's the only one aboard and so she's easy to avoid.

Yeah. And some Gilmore's like, and does she have to murder slimmers too? I mean, Oh, that was close. That was close, Gilmore. Yeah, almost let it out. Captain's assistant walks back out of the episode

for the rest of the season. As you were. Rantom hits Gilmore on her combat, and is like a meeting of the conspirators is happening on the Equinox, if you would like to report to that. So she heads that way. And we cut right over to the Equinox if you would like to report to that. So she heads that way. And we cut right over to the equinox bridge where ransom Gilmore, Bosch and Lesig discuss that conspiracy.

Here's the plan. They plan to steal the force field generator that they've been working on with the Voyager crew. And then they're going to leave for earth ditching voyage and leaving them defenseless. This is hardcore. Yeah. The issue is that they can't let their horrible secret get out. And if Voyager makes it back to earth, you know, that's going to be the end for them. Do you think that you would prefer having the knowledge? Because one of the things that makes this scene so crazy to me is like, why are you talking about getting back to earth? You are so far away from it, that's insane. I wonder if there reasons would have hit differently to know about their propulsion system now and the context of this meeting rather than later because I got a little bit

bumped. I thought this was crazy, like insane crazy, and not a conspiracy among people who have access to a special technology. Right. Because we have learned at this point that their ship can only do warp eight, and then like part of why they're so far along is that they happened upon a very helpful wormhole

at one point. But that's all we know. And I felt a little bumped by that as well. Don't love this idea of leaving Voyager to be attacked by the slimers. Not good. Meanwhile, in the ass lab, we get some real fun cross sections of the two ships.

And like two vach and seven are zooming in on different stuff as they boot up this new security system. And seven discovers that something weird is going on in the labs that has the multi-facelic chamber in it, the original device that they're basing their new security system on. And seven is like, it's so weird because like the radiation should have dissipated in that a long time ago, had it like, you know, followed the natural course, but it looks like they opened up EPS conduits in that area to make it extra irradiated for an extra long amount of time.

Right. They take this information right to the captain. There is no type of Canadian girlfriend that could survive the onslaught of this radiation for this long. They're like, does Ransom not even have a girlfriend? I want to take a closer look at that lab. This is great.

The Voyager crew has a sort of conspiracy of their own. They're not going to tell Ransom what they know at this point. Janeway wants to see what's in this lab, and she knows that the only way to do it is gonna be sending the doctor, the only one impervious to this kind of radiation over there. If maybe wonder if they told the other crew

about the doctor and his ability to leave the lab, like it seems like information that is pretty interesting, but maybe not something that would come up. Yeah, yeah. Kind of a weird thing, but also like not something that they would necessarily keep a secret to other star fleets that they don't mistrust yet,

early in the episode. Well, it's a good story decision to not have seen the doctor up until this moment in the episode. Yeah. The first time we do see him is when he materializes in this lab that's full of thermionic radiation, and he immediately finds a dead slimer in this pod. It's crystallized.

Yeah. Crystals. And after some more research, he finds another area where they've glopped up some alien goo and crystallized it. And it seems like they're basically making delithium out of people. The choice of having the doctor do this inspection is so great because the gag reflex of a doctor has to be extreme. Right. Right. And his reacts to what he's seeing are what teach us how troubling everything he's seeing over there is. Right. Right. He's like on a scale for like the most disgusting. It's like the drawing that Ben was going to make about the about farts and then the drawing that windy made about Adam's disgusting

stomach noises and this is more toward that end of the disgusting scale. Sure. Yeah, I get that This technology that they unearth here is refining aliens bodies into a power source that runs the Equinox engine. So you kinda get why the aliens have an axe to grind here. I mean, there are bad people on both sides, but you get it, the aliens are pissed. Yeah.

So these attacks like finally make sense. And they realize that like they've got bad people in their midst and like ransom and Bosch or walking around the hallways of Voyager like all of our evil plans are falling into place. This is going great for us. And Janeway orders ransom arrested. Captain Janeway wishes to speak with you.

There are three instruments in the lab being stashed, Captain. Get your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship, and do it, do it, do it, do it. In the conference room, in a dark conference room, actually, Janeway gets ransom one-on-one across a table in a really crackling scene here. Ransom tries to defend his choices and also explains just generally the ratio of alien bodies to years it'll take to get home fast. And according to ransom, it'll take 63 of these crispy critters to get them home with any sort of a laquerity. And wow, the story of how they found these guys is so tragic.

Like evidently on their mission, the Equinox had another bad day and some people on a class M plan that took them in at their lowest moment and they introduced them to these slimers as sort of a reward or something. Maybe it was a religious situation, but like there was something culturally significant about the introduction. And they're like crew of the Equinox.

Join us around the fire. We will summon one of our slimers and we only ask that you not bring up their body. This is the thing. You go and you enjoy a frozen beverage somewhere and you're like, I would like to have a frozen beverage machine at home. And this is exactly the comparison I'm using here. They see the slimer with these on Kari, and they're like, I wanna make slimers at home. So they get one of these machines there,

and they start making them. And oh no, they kill the first one. Completely by accident. Right. And in autopsying this thing, they reveal the fuel potential of their birdies. Yeah. These things have tons of nucleonic radiation in them. And if I traveled 10,000 light years and less than two weeks on the, on the birdies that they had collected so far. Yeah. So they can make a slimer whenever they want using this device and just keep refining them into fuel.

Right. But the slimer's fought back. You got slined! Yeah. That's great, Ray. Save some for me. Boy are they mad. They're so mad. You know who else is mad at him is Janeway. When we cut back from this flashback sequence, she is fucking disgusted. I'm putting an end to your experiments, and you are hereby relieved if you are command.

She slaps the pips off of his neck. Have you ever been slapped in the neck? Ransom's like, wait, why are there five of them? Oh, that's just a kernel of corn. Ah! Hey, love corn. Great scene for Janeway.

Her barely held back anger here and upon relieving him of command, she has all of the equinox crew confined to their quarters and security perp walksocks, ransom to his. She sends the doctor back to the equinox, to get as much information as he can on these slimers and see if he can find a way to communicate with them

because one of the many lies that ransom is told is that they haven't been able to communicate with them. They haven't even fucking tried, man. So the doctor heads back over there. Ransom's like, I thought I'd accidentally say something inappropriate. Can you blame me? I am very bad in social situations.

There's coffee in first contact the right way. When Chicoce walks Gilmore to confinement, and just to stop that for a moment, why? Why just Chicoote have to do this job? Gilmore tells Chicoote that she tries not to think about the atrocities she's done. Yeah. Yeah, I bet. She's like, you know, I bet that's hard to think about.

I do sleep okay at night knowing that the orders didn't come from me. Tell you what, if I'm chakote, I'm purplocking Gilmore via turbo lift. And not really giving a shit about how bad she feels about that. Yeah, but they stop at the ass lab and bully the encryption codes out of her.

Like all of the secret shit on the Equinox's computer, she has access to it because she knows the encryption codes. This could have been a great rough meld scene with two bucks if you were there, right? Yeah, but I'm sure like Beltran was like, listen, if I'm not gonna get to do a bindle in this episode, yeah. He's not getting to do a rough meld in this episode.

You know that's one of the magazines in the, in the tough part of Vulcan. Oh, yeah. You go to a Vulcan convenience store, you get, pick up an issue of rough meld. Yeah, it's got the like, you can see the title of the magazine, but then there's like an opaque, uh, piece of plastic in front of it so that you don't see what's on the cover. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to see that. No.

They get those codes. That's good. Thrower, Asner, fucking quarters. Now that they've extracted what they need from her. No. Back on Equinox, the doctor is pissed about not getting the information he needs from the lab, which requires the equinox EMH's authorization. And this is interesting, right?

You forget all federation starships have a rubber becardo. And so when we meet this rubber becardo, we learn right away that he's got a badgy program in him. And if you're the good doctor, you've got to shut this down, right? Shut it down! You got doctors walking around with ethical subroutines turned off. Turning off ethical subroutines

on emergency medical holograms can turn them Unfortunately into evil medical hologram Nice slap the the bad doctor does yeah slaps the emitter right off of the good doctor and oh no This is a bad moment. Yeah falls right on the floor and you can't tell them apart No, I don't like the evil doctor has like red eyes and fangs or anything or This is a bad moment. Yeah, falls right on the floor. And you can't tell them apart. No. Is that like the evil doctor has like red eyes and fangs or anything? Or it looks just like him. Like tiny pupils like you had in that one episode.

So evil, the evil image goes back over to Six Bay. Jane was like, anyways, doctor, what did you find over there? And he's like, uh, can you, can you be more specific? Haha, the scene was so fun. Yeah, good stuff. Remind me again of what I was there to do. Exactly. Yeah. Let me look at my backpack and see if I did the homework last night. You remember a day at work when when you were just so fucking tired or whatever that you just like you didn't have it together enough to answer the question, what are you working on? Yeah, I was like I'm gonna be in the studio shooting something. Yeah, I'm obviously I in the studio shooting something. Yeah, I'm obviously working on an edit.

I'm working on two edits, actually. We're a two edits. We're over there in the edit bay. Yep. I got his workin' in sheaths. Oh no, the aliens are starting to attack. Ben, and you know this because the shields are starting to shimmer.

Yeah. They need to turn on that security grid, and they need that intel from the Equinox to do it. The evil image has put a briefcase together and is marching down the hallway. He finds Captain Ransom and crew all locked up together. They didn't separate the bad guys. So his little story about like,

oh, they're infected with something contagious, gets the security guys out of there. This is where writer salad becomes most apparent, right? There is no reason for this. Right. Like the security like wouldn't trust the doctor to have a reason to go in there. You're a wind back to Janeway scene with Ransom

and Ransom's like, well, you're gonna keep me in my quarters for 70 years. And Janeway's like, no, actually, you can start by having a light lunch with the rest of your conspirators together. We're going to put two guys on you. You are about to have a 70 years from hell after lunch. So they break out and they send two more guys to try and stop them.

It also doesn't seem like the right level of response. Yeah. When neither of those two guys is two vuck, you know your security apparatus is failed. And the Fischer party has really kicked into high gear on the ship's shields at this point. Is every parent's worst nightmare, right? Mm. Just teenagers experimenting with their fissures?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck, I should have had the Fischer conversation a lot earlier. I couldn't look him in the eye and do it, and now I really regret. Yeah. Yeah. And so like the Equinox crew beam back over to their ship and start, you know, they beam out the new security shielding system, which has been disconnected from Voyager, and there's like some leap hacking, going back and forth between Bosch and BLT. He gets the better of BLT.

BLT goes to the place where the device was kept and there's a sweater in its place. He's like, Bosch. He always leaves a sweater behind to mark his territory. Bucket asshole. One fissure opens on the bridge of the Equinox and they don't shoot it. They let the slimer come out and the slimer gets got.

Yeah. The security system works and he's like, we only need to let that happen 62 more times. I like their chances. So does everyone else. Yeah. Like there's this, what the fuck are you doing? Like if you keep doing what you're doing, we're all going to die message from Jane

Way to ransom. And ransom would rather die than risk being in jail on Voyager and then at Earth. Yeah. Oof. He can't go back. He's never going back. Equinox goes to warp and it leaves Voyager behind to defend itself. And this is quite the cliffhanger because when Janeway is attacked by a slimer, we get a to be continued card.

Yeah. That's it. It's like POV of slimer zeroing in on Janeway to be continued. Janeway is like, I haven't seen you in a long time. You actually look. She gets desiccated and she's like,

I really wish I had accepted that bathtub because it would have taken a lot longer to get totally desiccated and she's like, I really wish I had accepted that bathtub because it would have taken a lot longer to get totally desiccated. You go into an interaction with these aliens, like totally pruned up from bath time. You can probably hold out a lot longer, right? Yeah, and you got better grip on your dustbuster.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I like that plan, Ben. Did you like this episode? You know, I really used to get along with Post-Rex times, but I don't like bollocks, I don't like bread, and I don't like you. You don't like this too.

I did like this episode. I had totally forgotten about this episode. It felt very exciting. And you know, the thing we always say, like a great two-parter is one that you can't wait to see the exciting conclusion of and oh yeah, like I can't wait for summer break to be over so I can see the exciting conclusion man. Now is probably a good time as any to tell friends of the sodo we are gonna take two and a half months off. So yeah, I don't think Wendy's going to let that happen. Now, Wendy's going to tell

me how disappointed she is when she puts me back in my cage. I like this episode too. I mean, fully dependent on part two, obviously, to either make or break part one. Right. I don't like the prisoners being gathered in the same place. Like the basic stuff of like writing a situation that is convenient for expediting a specific story, but you see this in every episode. Like that seems like a minor quibble. I do like stories about a person's ethical line though. And like we've gotten bad admiral throughout time

in mammalian watching Star Trek. But to see like lower level people compromised in that way with compromised ethics, willing to do whatever, to kill whatever, to accomplish their goal. A goal which is like a noble goal, getting home is good. It's not like they want to murder people for sport. They're willing to do awful things to achieve a good goal. And man, it's ugly stuff.

If you want to sit in that chair, really is. Yeah. Really makes you think about what you do. In similar circumstances, right? The sliders are too fun, love, and they seem nice. Like when we see them on the planet, they seem really nice. They really, too. They just wanted to come visit. That's part of it. They're like fucking ghostly Ewoks or something. They're like, hey, look at that guy.

This is how you celebrate. This is your after-diner mint. It's a real cutie pie. Cool. Yeah. That's it makes it so traffic. That's not what makes it so traffic. That is a, that's any interaction with the McElroy.

That's it makes it so tragic. Yeah. It is really tragic. Well, do you want to see if there's anything less tragic in the priority one in box? Oh, yeah. I've opened up the fizzier bin and there were a bunch of screeching priority one messages inside. Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. I need a supplement on it.

supplement on it? supplement. supplement. Yeah, it's extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. The first one is of a personal nature and it goes like this. It's from Greg from Toronto. It is to all my hashtag Jim Shimotas and Peloton FODs.

Whoa. That message goes like this. Ben, Adam and Wendy, thanks for all your awesome work. This message is to Incept all the Jim Shimotas with the second greatest idea in the history of Jim Shimotas with the second greatest idea in the history of Jim Shimota. Developing an L-Cars skin for the Peloton. Whoa. I assume this would just take a thought from the right FOD to update all Peloton everywhere.

Now the idea is out there. Dang. I didn't know you could do that on Peloton. You can make the interface look different. You can't. Greg from Toronto is really talking out their ass and I would love the idea of like a custom Peloton skin but that just seems, Greg, what are we talking about here? I guess it's an Android software so you could probably hack it. It's gotta have skins, right? I went to a wedding one time and one of the other wedding guests was like, I think the CEO of Peloton or something like that. Yeah, Peloton.

I didn't talk to him, but I talked to his mom and she was really nice. Maybe I could like... Paddy Peloton. Reach out to the happy couple, see if they'll put me in touch, and see if like we can make this happen. I'd love that. It would be great. I am constantly riding with hashtag Jim Shimoda on Peloton. I've picked up the biking again.

Yeah, no, I remember you've canceled, I mean I think you still owe a Tiki Bar episode over cancelling this show. It's my first priority most days. Over everything else. Yeah, getting. Almost like it's more important to you than the living that the friends of Disoto help you make for recording this show. I know, doesn't make any sense.

Hmm. Hmm. Our next priority one message is from Julie, it's to Ben and Adam. Yes, that's us. Just want to give you guys a shout out for always trying your best to get it right and owning up when you don't. It's so refreshing, especially as a lesbian woman to find male podcasters who actually give a damn and don't make me cringe in the bad way. The good way is fine. Congrats on being my emotional support since that meant and unproblematic faves. Wow, thank you, Julie.

Hey, thanks, Julie, and I know that that definitely applies to everything up until this point. Julie and I know that that definitely applies to everything up until this point. I promise the occasional fuck up in the future and the commensurate apology on the heels of that. We're just doing the best we can. Everybody's got their blind spots that they wish they didn't. And I think the better way to be is to just accept that you've got your blind spots and treat the learning experiences as learning experiences and not reasons to get all defensive and shitty. Yeah, yeah, defensive and shitty.

No way to be. Take the L and keep doing great work. Yeah, like this show does on the weekly. But if you'd like to help us take the W, consider getting a priority one message by going to MaximumFund.org slash Jembo Tron. Hey, Ben. What's that, Adam? Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda? Drunk Shimoda! And I think I want to give it to myself. Hmm, and I know that's a little bit self-serving in a way. I think it is literally self-serving. But here's why.

I spent this entire episode watching and going like, BLT. Now did we come up with that or did we get that from this episode and not realize we got it from this episode? Like where did that come from? Why have we been saying it for time in Memorium? And I would say like I was very like caught up in this episode and very much enjoying it But if anything was distracting me it was that?

Hmm. That kind of made me feel like a Shimoda. Well, I know for sure I had never seen this episode. So I was very surprised that BLT was canonized as a nickname. Yeah. Were you surprised that Turkey Platter was canonized as a nickname? I still am. I can't believe that. Real low point for Harry Kim, I think in the series,

was him reaching for that. Yeah, not a good Harry Kim episode. Yeah. Did you have a drunk some out of Adam? Kind of related to that turkey platter as a choice made by a writer. So is Captain Ransom. And I think, I think you got to come up with a different name. I think you know Captain Ransom is bad, with a name like that.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I can't think of a good context for a Ransom note. And if you're a science fiction fan, you know, Burke isn't so much better. I thought you'd be smarter than this. I'm happy to disappoint you. I don't know. I might you'd be smarter than this. I'm happy to disappoint you.

I don't know. I might reshuffle, you know, on the whiteboard of character names. I might shuffle these around a bit, so maybe you aren't giving away the ending with Captain Ransom. Yeah, yeah. Is Rambo better? No, a lot better.

He's an innocent man. Tim Mao. He's a victim of a circumstances. He kind of tinned manned that. I did. For a good reason. It seems like he's taken the equinox hostage and several slimers. And he'll be sending a ransom note in the next episode,

which is gonna be next week actually on him. Just got a note here from Wendy that we are not allowed to take two and a half months off. Oh no, I booked a lot of travel. Well, you're gonna have to bring a mic in a recording device with you. Sorry. Uh, that's too bad. All right. Why don't you head to gach.biz slash game and uh, fight

up the game of but holes. The will of the caretaker and I'll tell you about season six, episode Season 6 Episode 1 Equinox Part 2 Starfleet Honor is tested when two captains fight a battle of whales. I love Captain V Captain. That's the good shit right there. Yeah, that's that hot shit, making the bounce. Ben, I've gone to Gachdab's slash game. I've consulted with the game of Buttholes, the Will the Caretaker.

I have noticed that I run about as on Square 26. Hmm. Couple squares ahead. The naked now bathtub episode. A square that shouldn't exist. Hmm. You're required to learn as you play, roll. There's nothing else that I could hit.

They're just normal episodes outside of that. I'm gonna roll the die. Okay. Ben, I've rolled a one. Oh boy. Chula! Did I win? Harvey.

How much I like rolling ones. Yeah, you love those. Unfortunately, still puts the fucking bathtub square in front of us. I want that thing behind us. I want it so far behind us, I never see it again. Okay. Maybe we can work with Philippe Craig and Andrew on how we can swap that out. With literally anything

But for now square 27's a regular old episode so we come back at you with the season premiere of season six of Star Trek Voyager next week Well, I'm excited about that can't wait Looking at the some of these thumbnails for season six better exciting stuff It's big shit happens in season six. I'm excited. Hey, you remember this episode? No. I think Ransom's going down with a ship.

Wow. I think he's gonna die. He's never getting back off that bridge is what you're saying. How fun would it be if we got an entire season with another ship like Voyager and Equinox getting into adventures. That would be really cool That'd be great Spoiler alert that doesn't happen

Oh, Ben I already bet kind of a lot on that happening Well, no, we got a lot of folks to thank here Adam Of course the great friends of the soda who support our show Every week by going to maximum fun.org slash join Getting access to all of our bonus episodes that we put out every month like this month's bonus episode a fresh Episode of the Santa Monica Mountains podcast. Yeah, what fun. What could be better? I can't think of anything Yeah, speaking of gambles. Hey guys of our producer Wendy Pretty, who edits this show and keeps the schedule and keeps us on track, keeps us on our toes. I don't have to ask her to loosen the handcuffs connecting me to the microphone.

So, it's starting to cut off a little circulation. Yeah, I'm also getting a note from her that we're not allowed to take the bathtub square off of the game of buttholes. How about new? Don't like that. Yeah. Huh.

Well, I got to thank Bill Tilly, the card daddy, who runs the social medias at greatest track on any worthwhile social media platform, or a couple of unworthwiles or media platforms. Bill Tilly, in a prison of his own, aren't we all? Yeah, but the friends at a Soto on the internet are so cool. They don't ever give Bill a bunch of bullshit to deal with.

He's never getting go. That's what makes that job so great. We really appreciate that about friends of Desoto, who use the hashtag raisegend to talk about the show and go on drunksremotor.com's Discord server, nor join friendsofdesoto.social on mastodon. All of these great communities exist in a way that, I mean, every time I think about that,

I just feel so lucky that our show is blessed with such a wonderful community, like the folks that listen, that make this, the special thing that it is. Absolutely, it's very little of us and a whole lot of them. And a little bit of Adam Ragusia, who makes our theme music. Oh yeah, that guy's great. This is his own podcast, the Adam Ragusia podcast, and his own YouTube cooking show. Would it be problematic if I did my own podcast,

and it was the Adam Prantica podcast? Like, would Adam Ragusia be upset with that? Because it's too close to the name of his show? I think that's Stolen Valley. Yeah, he can't shit. All right, I'll come up with something else. What that we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Voyager,

an episode of the greatest generation Voyager in which expert Shimoda honor is tested when two Star Trek podcasters fight a battle of wills. To will versus will. Yeah. Like that episode of TNG with the... Oh yeah. The Riker Bros.

That's what that episode should have been called. Super Riker Bros. I can show. Super raker bros. Make it sound. Get it, you'll look at God of the U. Get it, get it, right. Get it, you'll look at God of the U. Get it, get it, right. Make it sound. Make it sound.

You'll look at God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of God of Maximumfun.org. Comedy and Culture. Artist-owned? Audience-supported.