The Greatest Generation - Pretty Rough for a First Timer (S6E13)

Episode Date: May 22, 2017

When the Entrepreneur investigates a murder at the end of a breakfast buffet line, a very small station has a very big problem. But when the deceased officer's diary turns Geordi's investigation into titillation, Commander Riker has to step in between "a rock and Geordi's place." How much do you resent a roommate bringing a dog? Which cast member is an acceptable loss? Does this represent the end of the "Star Trek is a place" theory? It's the episode that's on a civilian-clothed date.

Priority 1 message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Hey friends of Disodo. Before today's episode, we just wanted to take a moment to talk about the historic labor actions being taken by writers and actors in the American Film and Television industry. If you're a fan of the work done by the people who make Star Trek, we hope you'll join us in standing in solidarity with the folks who actually bring these adventures to life. Over the past several years, the AMPTP, the organization that represents the American Film and Television Production Studios, have reduced the profit from movies and TV going to workers. And in so doing,

they've attempted to weaken the labor unions that represent those workers. They wouldn't even engage the unions on many issues in their negotiations. And so a strike was the only course of action to take. Adam, Wendy and I have been having a lot of internal discussions about how best to stand with the unions and we are continuing those conversations in a dynamic situation. We're doing our best to understand where the picket lines are in these digital spaces,

and we would never intentionally cross one. With the information we have, we feel like we can do more good talking about and supporting the strike and continuing our show as planned. We'll keep you informed about what all this means for greatest trek specifically. Today we're making a contribution to the Entertainment Community Fund. This fund exists to help all the people whose livelihoods have been put on hold because the AMPTP refuses to negotiate

in good faith with the unions. It provides financial support for writers, actors, and all the thousands of laborers who make the shows that we talk about here and without whom we wouldn't have Star Trek to cast pot about. Those folks are all out of work because billionaires, company shareholders, and the executives of these companies don't want to compromise on the length of their yachts. We hope you'll join us in supporting entertainment workers in a challenging time, especially after they've already endured several years of challenges brought on by the pandemic

and season two of Star Trek Picard. We've set up a page where you can also contribute. It's at friendsofdecotoforlabor.com. That's friendsofdececoto for Labor.com. That's FriendsOfDecoto for Labor.com. Link in the episode description. Okay, now let's get on with the show. Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet. Engage! Welcome to the greatest generation, a Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast, and are as ever grateful to have a great opening line description to their show, I'm Adam Pranica.

I'm Ben Harrison. Ben, you and I are working on a side project. And boy, I am so happy that we have a show with a intro that we're sticking to the entire way through. Well, I don't want to say too much about our side project, but I kind of feel like the intro not being established is becoming a fun bit on that side project. It's so frustrating. I say yes and it, and enjoy it.

We make it seem so effortless on this show. When really there is a huge amount of effort, especially when I misconstrue the time we're supposed to record based on our separate time zones. You'll be happy to know the Diamond Studio C next to a giant mound of laundry. Nice. Let it never be said that podcast recording isn't glamorous. And it certainly is. We are recording this less than seven days from when it will go out. And we try to make a pretty evergreen show here, but something something is happening in Star Trek news that I wanted to see if you were interested in discussing with me. I'm always interested in discussing Star Trek news.

Our podcast being the foremost source for Star Trek news. Right, this is where the people go. And always has been. Well, I mostly just want to like, belly ache at a perceived slight, which is that Star Trek discoveries trailer came out, and they also announced that there's going to be an after show called Talking Trek.

And no mention has been made of us potentially being the hosts of it. Nobody has reached out nothing. Well, if... We've been shaming ourselves in public for a year and a half now. If the same amount of forth that was put into discovery has been put

into the after show. I'm not sure they've even staffed that production yet. Do they even know who's hosting it? Well, they gave it a terrible name, which is talking Trek. I mean, give me a break. Yeah. The name of our show is going to be, it almost goes without saying much, much better.

Yeah. I think we have something pretty good, chambered. It's gonna be, that show is gonna be so far in the pocket of Big Rod. It's gonna produce some chafing. Yeah. Yeah.

Big Rod's gonna have to powder that stuff. Yeah. There'll be a lot of talc in going on in the, there's gonna be an outline in the pocket. It's gonna be so tightly in there. Yeah, oh yeah, you get those like nice. Like a can of skull. Indigo jeans and then you let them fade naturally.

Yeah. Yeah. You can tell which one has a too big wallet or is a smoker. Mm-hmm. Yeah, what did you get to look at the trailer? I did look at the trailer. I looked at it only once if that's an indication of anything. You didn't hit repeat.

I don't know, it's hard because like, that cast is great. Yeah. I don't have any bones to pick about the cast. There's just, you know, there's a lot of trust to put into the behind the scenes people and by behind the scenes people I'm talking about that writing staff. That's a huge burden.

Yeah, that's a lot of power to be wielding. And I guess there's nothing about the trailer that either gives me hope or fear about it so far. I mean, it was a lot of sizzle without a lot of substance. Mm-hmm, yeah. Which is a smart move on their part, I guess. I get the same feeling every time I see a trailer for one of the, uh, one of the J.J. Abrams lineage Star Trek films, which is like, oh, it looks like a fun movie. Like, it doesn't make me feel like Star Trek is in safe hands, though. Like, people that understand Star Trek. One thing I'm really worried about is that they won't understand that there needs to be a slice of cheese in Star Trek.

No, it can't. Sure, it just be a beef sandwich. There seems to be no observance of loaf cannon, either. Yeah. Well, loaf cannon has been has been problematic from basically the introduction of the movie Klingons, right? I think the most recent time I ever had hope for Star Trek was the first 10 minutes of the JJ Abrams Star Trek, which I think was a highlight of the last 10 years of what that show or movie franchise could be. Why can't it be that good ever again?

Yeah, I do like to rewatch the beginning of that movie from time to time. That's hard to make it all the way through. Not just for a Star Trek movie, that is a great opening 10 minutes to any movie. Yeah. I remember like actually getting choked up in the theater at that 10 minutes. I was like, oh my god, I was completely unprepared for that. Yeah. Got right into the heart.

It was great. I mean, and there's other things that I like about that series. Like the, I think that they have a lot more fun with turning the camera upside down and playing around with the weightlessness of space than Star Trek ever has. I think the cast is fabulous. Yeah, great cast. You know, I think that the stories are generally pretty fun. I think they're pretty brain dead though. That's the challenge, right? Yeah. The question in my mind is, will Star Trek Discovery manage to have smart writing? And there's no reason it shouldn't. There's plenty of smart writing in television. And, you know, I think a

smart writer's room will realize that there needs to be a slice of cheese in there with the beef. What would be so frustrating is for this show to fail based on the writing because the last five years have brought the best television we've ever seen. And for this show to fail at a time when there's so much good TV, I think would be a massive disappointment. The talent pool for television writing has never been deeper. It's great. Yeah.

The thing that maybe worries me the most about this is that they've sold the overseas rights of it to Netflix, which paid for everything. So CBS doesn't really have any strong incentive to blow this one out of the water. It's kind of like taking all of the back-end incentive out of the equation. Like, yeah, they'd like to get people to sign up for their little streaming service, but they're not betting their future on it. It's not like when the agents of SHIELD TV show came out, or was about to come out,

I had a conversation with a guy I know who happens to be a television executive, and I was like, that looks like it's gonna suck, and he's like, it won't. It can't. Like Marvel and Fox are betting the farm on that show. They're going to spend a ton of money and make sure it's really, really good. Because it's like the first foray Marvel is making with, you know, such with their brand name on to television in a long time and they have this whole new set of goals surrounding it.

So it's not, was it on Fox? Maybe it was on something else, I don't remember. But, you know, like he basically made the case that it was too big to fail. And, you know, like I know that Star Trek has been a super lucrative franchise for Paramount and now CBS over the years, but I don't know that they treat it that way. They seem almost embarrassed by it.

Who could possibly be embarrassed by Star Trek? The Star Trek story for the last 10 or 15 years is that the truth is Star Trek has failed all the time. Yeah. It is not too big to fail, it's just too big to go away. Well, you know, I'm cautiously optimistic, I'm deeply offended, and I think you said it best at him on Twitter that with this after show, they made two mistakes. They double-crossed us and they left us alive.

They will rue the day, Adam. You know, this whole preamble, I think, was a good idea to go along with because I find there isn't too much to talk about in today's episode. It's, it's season 6, episode 13, Acquille. This is becoming a speech. The cat comes to very entitled. A little type that ramble on about something everyone knows. Ben, this might be something that we return to like after we do normal pod about the

app. But as I was watching this episode, I began to grieve for my long held belief that you can pull off a Star Trek story by just sticking to the idea that Star Trek is a place. I think this episode utterly fails that hypothesis. My blood ran cold once I realized that. I feel like it's, it's an interesting case study in an episode that starts brimming with possibility and like almost every turn it makes is a turn for the worst. You just can't make Jordy the center of a story without the creepy vibes, you know, pegging the needle.

Yeah, I mean, it's definitely not the creepiest he's ever been, but I think that in the context of all of the episodes we've seen that he's been the center of up till now, it's like somebody on the sex offender registry moving into your neighborhood. It's just like, I just feel uncomfortable with this. Well, in the same way that like everyone on the street would, like, operate from the position

of, let's just keep an eye on that house. Like, like, the rest of the, of the senior staff in this episode are basically looking at Jordy with eyes as scant like they're keeping an eye on him because even they know. Yeah, they're not wrong. So the episode opens up with the entrepreneur pulling into an angle parking space in front of a comms relay station. This is like a little tiny federation outpost floating in space that had a two-person staff, two Starfleet lieutenants were essentially marooned in this thing. It seems like a huge punishment. Yeah, and it's funny because when they start going through their service records of the

two people later, the lady has the kind of service record that you would think might lead to getting stationed somewhere like this. But the guy is like an exemplary officer. What did that guy do? Not only what did that guy do, what did that guy do? Yeah. Not only what did that guy do, what did that actor do? Because all you see is his face. Poor guy. Poor dude. Yeah, addition for the part and all they took was his headshot. This station in addition to being so tiny, it's like the corporate office park station of like Starfleet. There's the the iconography of the Federation inside But it's so small and plain and sparse and even the condo is like half the size of what it would be on the entrepreneur

Yeah, it seems like it would drive anyone crazy. That's that's one thing I thought of is there not enough people That want to be in Starfleet that they couldn't just put like three dozen people out there doing this job and have it be a super cushy, easy job just so that everybody isn't going crazy all the time. The problems that are revealed for the people who staff this station seem familiar to anyone

who's worked out in the boonies. Like, how scary is it to be out in the middle of nowhere and like a random car drives by? Or maybe that car yells something as it drives by. Yeah. Like when you're really out there in space, any ship could feel like a huge threat. Totally.

Yeah, and they're just in like a, they're literally in like a soda can. Like, they don't got any defenses or anything. If you are one of two roommates in a soda cans face station, I think you have to resent the person who brings their dog, right? I love dogs. Dogs are cool.

But man, if it's not your dog and it's someone else's dog and you got to share the space with them I don't think that's considered it. How do you house train a dog and then take it on a space station? What is the dog, when is the dog ever going to feel like it's okay to go to the bathroom? Could they have shown that dog shitting? You mean like from a standards and practices perspective? Yeah, that is how I mean that.

Not unless they got like a BBC voiceover describing the natural wonder of it. That was extraordinary and powerful and alarming and dismaying thing to see. I couldn't imagine picking shit out of the corrugated metal walkway, you know, three times a day. Yeah, there's a lot of textured metal on this station. Yeah, so the dog is the only living thing they find aboard. They find they like look into this like metal gear solid, look in vent hatch, and the dog is hiding in there. Here's your loose panel.

The two lieutenants are nowhere to be found, and they go upstairs and on the floor they find some poopy. And it looks like somebody has been phasered to death. With a gore-based weapon, which are some of our favorites. Yeah. So that's the cold open, like it's this establishing that this really just unbelievably bleak job exists in this utopian future. And then that one of them killed the other and left in a shuttle. It's interesting how for a murder story, everything else about the Meezan Sen is pretty bright. You know, like this isn't a lights flickering without the crew being on board environment.

There isn't wires hanging from the ceiling. Like, everything is normal as just as if the crew was still there. Yeah, that's true. And I think I was wanting a little more of that because it never felt like the stakes were that high in this episode, even though someone had been killed. That's an interesting point. I mean, I noticed that the cinematography was very lovely in this episode, but maybe it's too lovely. It really was. There was a dolly shot that I think started on Riker. It was tilted up. And then it panned right into a hole where Warf was. And then Warf walks down the stairs

and they follow him down. After, there was some really nice sequences in this episode, which is maybe as kind as I can be. I come back from break. There's this bit of deck plating that has the poopy on it, and they want to analyze the DNA, so they cut it out, and Jurti gets tasked with looking into who's who on the station, and they determine pretty early on that they think that it's this lieutenant aquiel that got murdered, right?

I'll assume those are her remains, but I need to take the deck plate back to sickbait, just to be sure. They don't think it's the dude that got murdered? Yeah, from the jump, they think it's aquil. Is that something about like they like, they like tricorder the deck plate and they're like, looks like an aquil to me.

Rikers like, are you saying you can actually tell whose DNA it is on a surface just by waving a tricorder over it? I'm gonna get back to the ship. I'll be back in about three hours. I've got to organize my sock drawer and my other sock drawer and my other sock drawer. other Sack drawer and my other Sack drawer. Oh, baby, go, go, baby. Quiet, if you're not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, big, not a big, big, not a big, big, not a big, not a big, big, not a big, not a big, big, not a big, not a big, not a big, not a big, big, not a big, not a big, big, big, not a big, big, not a big, big, not a big, big, not a big, big, big, not a big, big, not a big, big, not a big, big, not a big, big, not a big, big, big, not a big, big, big, not a big, big, big, big, not a, big, big, big, not a, big, not a big, big, big, big, big, big, not a, big, big, big, big, not a, big's a little faded, you're right. A little faded, a little pilling. Yeah. No, no, like, I think it's time to give Riker a new uniform. He's probably the most active with that uniform, right? His uniform It's a support uniform. It's basically spanks. Come on, girdle. Hold.

Boah. Frakes actually prefers the old Spandex uniform. Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, we're getting rid of that. Come on. He looks great. So Jordi gets the duty of hang out in the apartment of the murdered girl and like drink iced coffee and do research on her.

Like and and like lay on her bed. Yeah, pet like, and all the textiles. Yeah And I guess this is not a form of Detective work that you see on an NYPD blue or Or a law in order. Yeah, there's not there's definitely a not an ethos of don't touch anything. This is a crime scene Yeah, like I couldn, I can't imagine Sam Waterson just like laying on a child's bed during a murder investigation. Robots are everywhere and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. So her logs are like partially

corrupted so they're having a tough time kind of piecing it back together but he starts, corrupted so they're having a tough time kind of piecing it back together but he starts getting video of her you know talking about how she has this kind of conflict of character with Lieutenant Rocha Rocha? Rocher as in Pharaoh Rocher. Yeah, Lieutenant Rocher and which is also like pretty alien to the world of Starfleet. You know, people tend to get along and talk through their differences. Yeah, Star Trek's tocky. Speaking of tocky, Jordy is one of those work tockers.

He's by himself, he's fiddling with computers, and he has no inner monologue. I'm on this should be working, the phasing juicers are aligned. He's that guy you hear sighing, you know, in your group of friends, that's like wanting you to ask him what's wrong. What's going on in Adam?

Yeah, like shut up, Jordy. Predictably he starts to kind of catch feelings for this lady. Like at one point, Riker's like, what's up in here? And he's like, well, Aquile is telling me about the scary dream she keeps having. And he's like, who?

But he makes those riker eyes where he fully understands what's actually happening. Yeah, this begins like a conflict that persists between Riker and Jordy throughout the episode, which is that Riker is like not about the way Jordy is doing this. But he doesn't ever like intervene until he I guess I guess he like gives him a zip and pulls him aside by the by the elbow and recommends against it. But he's never like, you

know, he never gives an order or anything. I don't understand why the chief engineer is being put in charge of a murder investigation. At all, like full stop. What is up with that? Yeah, if it's a computer thing shouldn't data be doing it? You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays because robots may strike at any time. In a crew of like 1200 people, like I love that they just stick one person on the investigation. Yeah they added four more jordies to the crime lab. They got jordy working in sheaths. But they could they could like But maybe the Star Trek is a place failure here is not that this is a bad premise for an episode, but that the characters that are available to the writers room to put into

this scenario aren't properly used. It's perfectly interesting for data to be on the computer. And then you don't have any creepy fallen love with a fake woman vibes happening. You'd have a really fun 90 seconds of data totally silently doing an investigation on a workplace computer just typing really fast. computer just typing really fast. Yeah, just reported it all back. You know, the things that Jordi is working on for the first three-quarters of the episode. That would be such a fun, weird, start-track episode. It's sort of like a version of Datas Day, but there's almost no dialogue at all. Yeah. I like it when they get weird. Yeah.

So the other part of this is that she's got some logs about this, this Klingon officer that she's a little stressed out about and he like, he like is patrolling this area of the Klingon Federation border. And so he stops by every week or so. And what's his name? Morag. And so they're like, well, let's look into this Morag. Federation border and so he stops by every week or so and What's his name more egg and so they're like well, let's look into this more egg angle There's some Klingon DNA around maybe the maybe the Klingons put a hit on these two officers and and so Picard like dust off a

Attack that he has used before which is call local Klingon government functionary and wave the arbiter of succession thing over the guy's head and get exactly what he wants. Every interaction that the card has with a Klingon bureaucrat goes great. Yeah. No one seems more disinterested in a functioning bureaucracy than the Klingons at this point.

Gauron won't bother with such a minor incident. No, yeah. Nobody wants to be on Gauron's bad side. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the easiest thing in the world for Picard to get one over on these guys. I was his obiter of succession. I'm sure that he will be happy to come here and investigate this matter. It's amazing. There's a setting that Patrick Stewart has in his delivery and in his mannerisms that is just you could really get super ham and cheese

with with his attitude about this, but it's just a smirking, just a subtle smirk is enough to sell it. You're even worried about it any longer. He very confidently makes the Klingon guy feel like a little man. Yeah. And, you know, gets exactly what he wants. And the guy's afraid that Goweron coming and sniffing around will expose that, you know, he was doing the right thing or whatever.

So this, this Klingon Governor comes aboard and he's like, we didn't kill the girl, I can prove it. And then like, like a, like a stage magician turns to the, to the door on the observation lounge and in-she walks, which is not a reveal that seems terribly realistic, you know, that like the first officer in the captain would be like shocked at this Federation person that has come onboard without their knowledge. You know, it's, I think it's the first recorded instance of O'Brien knowing something before

anyone else. Like, he's no knock wheels alive for 20 minutes at this point. Yeah. How do you get on board the ship without being detected that way? Yeah, and also, like, shouldn't this meeting happen in six bay? She is fucked up. She is covered in cuts and bruises. Like, it's so fucked up that they, you know,

just make her stand there with all these grave injuries and go like, explain yourself. They really basted her loaf in some ketchup. It's a good way to lock in moisture, Adam. How would you describe this loaf? I was trying to put my finger on it. I was trying to put my finger on it. They look like, they look like low-feet seashells. It's kind of nearly not there, this loaf, you know. It's a tiny bit of nose bridge and a little scoop out above each eye, and then that's it. But she's an alien.

She's really attractive. She overcomes the loaf. Yeah, you see what Jordy sees in her for sure. You hardly even see the loaf. Yeah. You can get past it. Yeah. Well, they don't give her much loaf to act through. It's the thing, you know. Yeah.

If they'd made her a nozzakin and she looked great, that would be another whole other conversation. I would have questions about myself. I'd have to really do some soul searching at that moment. Are Nossigan's just like a super cheap rip off of the predator? Boy, it sure seems that way. Like if a predator could talk, that's a Nossigan, right? Yeah.

Predators don't seem like they would hang out in bars though. Predator drinking under the table. It drink me just as soon as shoot me. Cut off your arm, like Carl Weathers. What was the first movie moment of violence for you that really like as a kid, like white and girais? Do you remember? Because for me, the first scene of movie violence where I was like, oh man, that's what rated R is,

was the predator cutting off Carl Weathers' arm and Carl Weathers' arm is still shooting the uzi? That was amazing. Yes, that's... And for some reason, Carl Weathers' arm is still flexing. They're still playing meat on that bone. You take this home through the pot-edged some broth, a potato? Maybe you got it still going.

Yeah, yeah, he's getting a lot of vein pumping action. Dispressed the fact that he is not connected to his vascular system anymore. That was incredible. Yeah, that was good stuff. Shouldn't there just be a channel that's predator all the time? there just be a channel that's predator all the time. I think for a moment that it was. It was on USA Network on an eight-hour loop

every weekend. So first order of business, I guess, for Lieutenant Aquial, now that she's come on board and been reunited with her dog is going to date with Jordy. How'd you like that near death experience to be your reward? Yeah, so she has her story is that she got, she was like doing her daily whatever was attacked by Almanroca. Doesn't remember much of what happened, but she managed to get an aprevia and like light out for the territories and the Klingons caught her in their space. And she has no memory of the like interceding 40 something hours. So they have this weird date where she sits down with Jordi and he's like, Hey, I know all about

you in a really upsetting way. And I learned no lessons from the last time I did this to a woman. How about a cocktail? Much like you can't remember the last 40 hours of your life. I haven't remembered any mistake I've ever made with respect to a girl. So here I am. Yeah, he's just a, he's looking at your sketch with, with women where you shake him out and start over every time. And you could see the car crash coming. Like, he's at the bar ordering the drink. You know he's ordering. Yeah. Walking it over to her about to spill. Basically everything he learned from her diary. Yeah. I mean, likely a Brahms she forgives him, but unlikely a Brahms. She doesn't really

go nuclear before she forgives him. Yeah. She's like, this is so upsetting, but I totally understand. It's part of your job. What you don't know at this point in the episode is that I think the reason she doesn't go nuclear on Jordy is that she needs him as a tool. He's a useful idiot right now, isn't he? Yeah, she's a real Putin type. Yeah.

Paul and all the strings. Yeah. It's weird because he's in the conversation every time she gets questioned after this. Like they've been on a date and he's in the room while Wurf and Riker are putting the screws to her about what happened with Roka and the Klingons and what if anything she remembers about anything. It seems really inappropriate. It seems like maybe Jordi should like step aside at this

point or announce to her that like, you know, he's got to follow the chain of command or something. Yeah, I mean, so there's a couple of different suspects, right? And we really are no closer to knowing who killed Almond Roca. It's weird because it's sort of started with them thinking that Roca had killed her and now they're trying to figure out who killed Roca. She never quite gets elevated to suspect so much as just like a person that is important to the investigation. Yeah. And then they bring the they bring a they bring more Agapord and he's like the, the perfect petulant Klingon who's like totally outraged by the idea that he's being accused of this.

If only we had a person on the crew who could tell if someone was being dishonest, I feel like that person would be really useful at a time like this. Right. Yeah. Why isn't this like a warfin' Troy team up to solve a mystery episode? That would be really useful at a time like this. Right, yeah, why isn't this like a Warfin Troy team up to solve a mystery episode? That would be a lot of fun. We never get the Buddy Cop show that is Warfin Troy. That would be so good.

They would be great. They're like the Yin and Yang of Cop work. Yeah, I mean, we totally saw the potential of it in the Old West episode. And it was so squandered in that and It would be great. It would be fun like it's it's never not fun to see Troy like like batting up a problem back and forth with somebody Because he doesn't get to do it often enough I mean she's been she's been, it's seeming seemingly permanently upgraded to backzip at this point. So like, come on, let's get, let's get it on the mix. We only

have a season and a half left. We're running at a time. One person who is instrumental in this investigation is Dr. Crusher and she has managed to separate the strawberry compote at the end of the breakfast buffet line from the deck plating and it's and it's sort of a shallow bowl of dessert tapping. Yeah, I wrote strawberry pudding in my notes but we'll go with compote, Adam. Yeah. In the tradition of crushers, she has a delicious dessert here. She's just looking for somebody to offer it to. And a little bit like Ghostbusters 2,

like she shoots it with some stuff and it comes alive. And it like, it like, goes up. It's like a stretchy piece of bubble gum and it reaches out and touches her hand and then turns into her hand. Like, it's the bowl of compote with Dr. Crusher's right hand just reaching out of it. It's a real creepy effect. Yeah, and it's a great camera move, like from the hand just finishing,

taking shape, like panning up to Dr. Crusher in the foreground, and she's holding her hand in the exact same position. I mean, because it did not appear to have made clothes around the hand, I mean, I think we're all pretty lucky at the part of her body that it touched. Mm-hmm. Yeah, if she had sat in it, it would have been a big problem.

Standards and practices. It would have been a big ol' strawberry butt. Yeah, I mean, between that and the dog taking a poop, standard practices would never let this, let this episode air. That was all in a early draft of the show. Yeah, yeah. So they have a fun like,

Jordy's about to get laid scene here. Where the serder reminded me of the scene in demolition man, where Sandra Bullock tries to have sex with Solestor Stallone and... What do you say we just do it the old fashioned way? Oh disgusting She has like a futuristic understanding of what that might be They like kneel on opposite sides of her bed

I don't know why they're like back on the station Like what what pretence he would have for taking her back over there Oh it's because she was shitty murder investigation Like she just has full reign to go wherever she wants. Well, she was deleting files, right? So he was like confronting her about that. Yeah. But the confronting her about that devolves

into a steamy hookup. A short list of the lone style hookup. It's totally like a like a porno introduction. Like, hey, I'm here to stab you from deleting those files I Don't know exactly what's wrong with the files. I've got something that you can delete with a warm washcloth Yeah, so aquil Describes this thing as as a form of lovemaking that will bring Jordy closer than he's ever been to anyone

Which isn't saying much right? Yeah, like it's a it's a pretty large as a form of love making that will bring Jordy closer than he's ever been to anyone. Which isn't saying much, right? Yeah. It's a pretty large gauge crystal with a flared base at the bottom. Yeah, it looks like something that would be pretty rough for a first timer. Let's put it that way.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah, that's real black belt butt stuff. That's right there. Yeah, that's a riker level butt stuff. She blindfolds Jordi in the process too, which is like a couple of different flavors of love making and I'm not sure Jordi's familiar with. Yeah, I mean, there are residences here also with the episode

where the guy is like turning Troy into his feelings dump. Mm-hmm. Like, it's a little bit like that ritual. And they're starting to get the idea that what went down here is that there was a large creature that has like this memetic property where it takes the form of some other life form. It consumes you and takes your form for a little while until it needs to consume somebody else. They're concerned that that might be what Aquile is. She is like, she's not in fact Aquile, but this life form that eats people

and takes on their identities. So I think that they're sort of trying to use this scene to imply that, oh shit, this entity is gonna eat Jürdie now and it needs this cockamami ritual to do it. And so like, like Riker busts in with a deskbuster and he's like, step away. No. And Jarni's like, fuck that.

I was about to get laid. Like, it would be Riker to stop Jordi from getting laid too. Yeah. Rikers the sex police. He will enforce consent, whether on his own ship or anyone else's. Yeah. Well, it's not wrong. No, not else's. Yeah, well, it's not wrong. No, not at all.

But, well, he is wrong. He thinks that she's trying to eat Jordi, I think. And what she's really trying to do is bang him. But I think that like, her only crime is that she just doesn't really fit in in Starfleet. Yeah, but like, fuck all of the evidence that they gave for that in this episode. She's quirky. She's like the Zoe Deschanel of Starfleet.

There's nothing dark about her quirkiness. And never make her a suspect. She's a manic-lure-feet dream girl. Yeah, yeah, she plays the ukulele. She has terrible taste in novels. So Jordi, like, like, I guess they, they, like, take her into custody and they put her and the Klingon commander into custody and they're going to like watch and see if one of them turns into this beastie. And so Jordi goes back to his apartment and he's hanging out with the dog, trying to get a little work done. And the dog starts wanting to play

tug of war with the leg of his pants. And the dog goes over and sits on the floor. And one of the worst morph effects I've ever seen. They make this dog morph into like a slime blob from a bad Sega Genesis role-playing game. If you loved the Wesley and the Wair Bear episode effects, you really love this morph. It'll really appeal to you. It sort of morphs until like a golden grimace from the McDonald's land. I was thinking sort of a bouncy, did you ever play a video game a boy and his blob with

that jelly bean monster? No. Well, not a great game, but I shouldn't mind if I find a rom to emulate. Yeah, I would recommend against that. It's sort of mean to me like they were kind of doing a dress rehearsal for Odo from DSP9. They saw this effect and they're like, let's make this guy a main cast character. We could do this all the time you guys. This looks great. You know we could just stick him in a bucket. That'd be great. I mean the DNA of that is in this episode. Yeah. Jordy's really got to run through all the phaser settings before

he gets to gore. Yeah. There's no stunning this blob. I thought it would have been cool to run out of the room and seal it, because you want to study this thing, right? Yeah, I mean, the way that Crusher puts it in the six bay earlier, like the idea of this thing existing has been purely speculative up to this point. Did at least a tricorder reading off of it before vaporize it. Also, I mean, you could allow a Jordi to be killed by it, and then you could study it after. I think that's an acceptable loss. Worf wouldn't have any problems signing off on that.

LaFar Burton can stay on the show. He will just be the coalescent organism version of Jordy. And in a weird way, he's no less creepy. Just creepy in a different way. Yeah. Creepy in a sleeps in a bucket kind of way. Well, one person that is not creeped out by Jordy apparently is Lieutenant Aquiel, who goes on a civilian close date with him after all of this. That's how you know it's serious. Yeah, she puts on like crazy arm jewelry and he puts on a green, like, I don't know. It's like, it's like, army sweater with the shoulder patches. Yeah, it's like cloth that wouldn't be used for a starfleet uniform, and then they just tried to make a starfleet uniform out of it.

Because it's got the same shoulder saddle or whatever mantle. I don't know what you call that. Nice to see him wearing something different though. Yeah, good to see him in his cities. And he makes an offer of pulling some strings to get her a job on the entrepreneur. And she's like, I'm going to try and get here on my own merit, which is one of the most admirable acts of self-preservation

that anybody has ever done. Especially because you, me, and everyone else knows that her service record is so terrible, she will never make it on the enterprise. It's sort of a letting him down easy sort of reason, I think. Well, she's letting him down, but like, like this is like the greatest promotion she could possibly dream

of, given her service record. But she doesn't take it because she doesn't want to be anywhere near this. Yeah. Yeah. Oof. Another swing in a Miss Fajordi. My love is a piece by long and chill, by that which long and us at the DC. Did you like this episode, Adam?

In answering that question, I want to talk about why this episode fails the Star Trek is a place test. Like, there's the idea of investigating a murder is a fairly interesting premise to spring from. Why? The whole TV series exists around this being a thing that happens every week. Like, seven TV series, like with related characters, and a related world exists about this idea. Like, this is a very fertile territory. And it's not like you, it's hard to find television writers

who know how to make a fun story out of it. You know? If they don't have it in their writers room, they could just go see if somebody wants to moonlight on it from a real cop show. Yeah, and so I started thinking about, well, how do you correct what's happened here? How do you make it a legit murder mystery that,

I mean, there have been holiday stories with two-thier murder mysteries than this episode, you know? You know? There's like the emotional sine wave of this 42 minutes is so unmoving. Like I never feel like anyone's in any danger. I don't really care about Aquiel. Like their attempts to make her an empathetic figure,

I guess, come from her quirkiness. And maybe that she feels threatened by the person that she stationed on the two-person station with. But the depths are so shallow in this episode that God, no wonder I didn't even remember this episode having seen it before. There's just not a lot there. So no, I didn't like the episode, but it really made me think about like the Star Trek is a place problem, and if that idea is as ironclad as I always thought it was. I think that the failure in this script doesn't have any negative read on the Star Trek is a

place theorem in my head because it's, I mean, Star Trek is a place and you can like tell good stories in a place or bad stories in a place. Right. And when you, when you like make as many narrative mistakes as this makes and you know, go into a story with a character that has as loaded a past character that has as loaded a past as Jordy does and like fail to do something to dispel those problems, you know, you've just set yourself up for failure, I think. I can't remember caring less about what happened in an episode than this one. Like happy to not think about this episode again. And it's too bad. Like no one blew it performance wise. This is all coming from the page.

Yeah, I mean, I think that the actress that plays Aquale is actually like really strong. It would have been interesting to keep her around. You know, one another thing is like, there is major conflict here, someone was killed and she was momentarily a suspect. She like has no ill feelings about it at the end. It's totally down to have drinks with Jordy afterwards, even though a senior officer had moments before

pointed a phaser at her. Right. You would think that there would be some feelings or how to that. Yeah. Something to work through anyways. When the actions of the episode appear to, you know, they have the ability to engender all these feelings and you don't see them.

None of those feelings are realized. Like why even tell the story? Yeah. It feels half finished. Yeah, maybe, maybe another draft of this script could asserted this stuff out. Poor Roka. I mean, I feel the same way. Like, I feel like the, this isn't like the worst episode of all time, but it feels

like it has the most squandered potential of many episodes. Yeah. So, that's the thing to me. Yeah, it's one of those like, you know when you're on your deathbed and you look back on your life, you think about the days you wasted doing nothing, like in the lifetime of a show, this feels like one of those moments where like they had an hour to do something. And this is what they did. Speaking of wasting an hour at him, here we are. Do you want to see if we have any priority one messages?

Yeah, we speak from experience, don't we? Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on Secured Channel. Need a supplement on top. supplement on top? supplement. Yes, extra. The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship. Ben, our first priority one message is from Jessica.

It is four Mike and it goes like this When I see my beautiful new baby girl, I see you It's in her eyes. It's in her laugh. Most of all I see your face in her shitty diapers Fuck you, Razz Flapim God damn it. Oh, he snuck that one in there Oh, he snuck that one in there. No joke, the folks at Max von Headquarters were like, do you want us to like put a hold on any future res and pluff beams?

That was a Trojan plveem. That was totally a Trojan plveem. Would they have even caught that? Wow. Hmm. Well, thanks for that. I'm starting to believe that there is no baby girl, and there are no mic and Jessica. Is it just me or does it seem a little one-sided? Like, Razz is not hitting back as often or as hard.

Razz just like, leave me alone, man. I don't like bullies. If we find out that plevim is bullying Razz, I'm going to feel really bad about taking part in this whole experiment. Yeah, yeah. There needs to be a safe word for Razz. Safe word is loaf. Um... Wink twice if you're under duress.

We have another priority one message here. It's also the personal nature from future Ben. And it's for Ben. It goes like this. Adam... This better not be from Plavim. Adam is not who you think he is. I don't know if the process has started yet. Pay attention to his hand movements. It's subtle, but you might be able to see the changes already. Trust your instincts. You'll need this. 506c6561736520626269960672079676896 5 6 1 7 3 6 5 2 0 6 2 7 2 6 9 9 6 6 e 6 7 2 0 7 9 6 6 F 7 5 7 2 20 7 4 6 F 7 5 7 2 20 7 4 6 F 7 5 7 2 20 7 4 7 4, comma 9,3.2650W.

Oh, are those like coordinates? I just put those coordinates into Google Maps and it's like downtown Minneapolis, it looks like. So it sounds like Future Me is trying to tell us something about downtown Minneapolis and you possibly being a sadistic bad person. Well, I've never been to downtown Minneapolis, but that maybe that's what future Ben knows all too well.

I mean there's a good chance that we stop in or around Minneapolis on our tour. Yeah. Do you think this is a dangerous place for me to go? Or it's the safest place for me to go? I mean, I can't really trust you to give me an answer, can I? I'm looking down at my hands wondering what they're capable of. Oh boy, I wish future me was a little less cryptic about these kinds of things. I wish future you had lottery numbers.

Maybe those are lottery numbers and not that some password. Yeah. Well, maybe we'll never know Adam. If you'd like to send your one password, master password to us, in the form of a priority one message, you can do that by going to maximumfund.org slash jumbo tron There's no code to enter your message of

350 characters or less there you just fill out an easy form of either the personal or corporate variety We read it on the air like we just did and Those messages help the ongoing production of our show. Isn't that right, Ben? That is correct. Hey, Ben. What's that, Adam? Did you find yourself a gooey, gooey blob of drunk Shimoda? Drunk Shimoda. Drunk Shimoda! I did.

My Shimoda in this episode is Wharf. They have the Klingon Governor unbored and Wharf is like disgusted that he's not taking any responsibility for the possibility that the Klingons could be involved in this foul play and accuses the Governor of being a low-bee-vose. And it's just a moment that I love because it's another great example of wharf having no self-awareness when he's around other klingons. Like he's like simultaneously impossibly self-aware and totally unself-aware.

Like, you cannot help slinging a Klingon insult at this guy in a way that would be super inappropriate from any other Starfleet officer. And this Klingon guy is like, what are you doing wearing a uniform of a Patak? Like, everyone in the room knows what a patac is. Why is everyone in the room okay with that?

They're wearing the same uniform. Yeah, it's, and, you know, the clingons and the humans are supposed to be buds. Yeah. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense. How about yourself? Did you have a charmota? The only charmota that I could find was,

was just a character acting completely completely just a character making decisions that don't make any sense, which is riker for assigning Jordy to the investigation. And it's so inexplicable that it makes me feel like he was intending to do it only in order to see Jordy fuck up And just to have that conversation in the hallway that he has with him halfway through Rikers like look man you gotta you gotta back away from this one This is a murder investigation remember and Jordy's like yeah, dude. I get it and then like goes back into fucker like I feel like this is a test that Rik's giving Jordy and Jordy's failing big time.

You can see it in Riker's eyes throughout. Like, he's framed in those scenes and he's always got an eye on Jordy. I don't know, man. Probably a bad assignment to be giving to one Jordy LaForge. We thought it'd come so far, and yet here he is. Yomok and Jalat and Tanaga. A greatest-gen live show is something you don't want to miss. Why?

Well, it's a great opportunity to see me and Ben in person, but that's not all. FODs from all over gather at these shows to cosplay, to do pre and post show hangs, to make friends, and share their embarrassment. Hey, let's make a pretty great name for a tour. Let's do it. The Share Your Embarrassment Tour is coming in August 2023, and we've got a bunch of dates in a lot of great places.

Go to GreatestGenTour.com to get more info. That's greatestgentour.com for dates and ticketing information for the Share Your Embarrassment Tour. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Jesse Thorne. On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense. We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level. We got stupid with Judy Greer.

My friend Molly and I call it having the spaceweirds. Pat Noswald. Could I get a Balrog burger and some air-gorn fries? Thank you. And Kumail Nanjiani. I've come back with cat toothbrushes, which is impossible to use. Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are already open. Just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead. Open just pull it out, give Jordan Jesse Goat try. Being smart is hard, be dumb instead.

Oh, rats, hey, hey, oh, I'm about to count you in mine. These clouds are really freaking me out. I hate having to stand in line and boy, what do I? These giraffes do not smell good. No, they do not, and they've such short nacks. But I'm hearing we need to get on this. We've got to get on the art. It is about terrain, about a spout to destroy humanity.

Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Are you Noah? Yeah, I know we look like humans, but we're actually, we're podcasters. We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Carrie? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal, stuff like that.

And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end, so seem like something for us to check out. We would love to be on the boat. We came two by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Carrie, available on for us to check out. We would love to be on the boats. We came two by two. What do you think? Ona Ross & Kerry, available on of the enemy. Force to impersonate a Romulan intelligence official, counselor Troy becomes a pivotal part of an elaborate defection scheme. Do you remember this episode, Adam?

I do. I do remember. I remember it well. They're, they're, uh, they're futile attempt to ugly up Marina Circus. A massive failure. Yeah. Well, we don't have any vetoes left, so that's definitely what we're watching next. And I'm looking forward to it. I remember liking this one. I'll see you there, Ben.

Well, I will see everybody else on Twitter and Facebook and Reddit. People are going on there and talking about the show. Talking about, there's been a lot of lively speculation about the new series coming up. It's been fun to wait into. You know people are tweeting at all the like CBS official Star Trek accounts going like why did you not tap Ben and Adam for this after show and even if they do at this point I feel like that ship is sailed. Like the

the insult has already been rendered upon us. Until they officially attach Chris Hardwick to the show, I think there is still a little bit of hope for us. Yeah. But I would be unwilling to do such a show if it required us to be in the pocket. Yeah, I think our part of our special sauce is being so far outside the pocket

that we can really dress them down when they deserve it. Yeah. I don't want to be covered in rod and berry sauce, that's for sure. They're probably not airing a show where there's then an after show where the two of us just take pot shots at it and pull its pants down all night, right? Yeah, I mean that makes us sound more negative than we probably would be, but... Well, ask listeners of the official Star Trek podcast, how happy they are with official Star Trek Ancillary programming. Yeah, that's maybe the one podcast. I think we know how this is

going to go. That's maybe the one podcast whose reviews I don't mind seeing people say listen to Greatest Gen instead. Yeah, that's nice. That seems mean with any other Star Trek related podcast, but with the official one I say maybe they deserve it a little bit. Taken pocket chats. Our thanks as always to the creators of the fine music of our program. Of course, I'm talking about dark material, the creator of our theme music, and also Adam

Ruggusia, who is the creator of our various other sundry music beds. It's very lucky to know Ruggusia. He's really done a lot for us. One of the greats. Well, on that note, we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek, the Next Generation, and an episode of the greatest generation that is really going to challenge my ability to make portmanteaus out of different Romulan characters. Can't wait. those out of different Romulan characters. Make it sound. Make it sound. Yor-pikata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata-kata you