The Greatest Generation - Qo’noS Roadshow (ENT S2E25)

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

When Captain Archer gets kidnapped by a Tellarite bounty hunter, he’s slowly talked into delivering Archer to the Klingons with a means of escape. But as T’Pol gets sweaty in the decon chamber, Dr.... Phlox comes up with a cure for her horny that avoids having to distribute cages to the crew. What do ants know? Why do shuttlepods have a shovel? Who can be a sniper in the Klingon military? It’s the episode that wants to wrap the grap!Support the production of The Greatest GenerationGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Riker - Quantum LeapThe Greatest Generation is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam Ragusea & Dark MateriaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Here's to the finest crew in Starling. When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me. This is a parody. Paramount owns the song. Welcome to The Greatest Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. I'm Adam Pranica. I'm Ben Harrison. It's bug season, have you noticed?
Starting point is 00:00:29 Have you noticed they're back? Uh-huh, they're fully back. We, I mean, I think we talked a couple of weeks ago about it being one bug in my office season. Yeah. Which comes early, you know, that's the first robin of spring in LA, is one bug in office. I think in LA is one bug in office.
Starting point is 00:00:45 I think I got the one bug in office right before we started recording. So you don't want to mess up the sync clap, right? Like that, getting that one fungus gnat. If you don't get the sync clap right, the whole show falls apart after. And we never hear about it. Wendy keeps that from us. Yeah. Wendy will fully do like an extra full two days of excruciating work, relining things up,
Starting point is 00:01:12 and then we'll tell us about it like a week later. We'll be like, you should have told us, we could help. I think you've cultivated an air where no one wants to give you bad news. And I think, you know, so often in like a corporate environment, that is a way to say, boy, that boss is a live wire and a loose cannon. But with Ben, it's like, we cannot add anything to what's going on there. He must never know how we struggle. Ben will walk into the ocean if one more bad thing is mentioned to him.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Listen, man, I'm wondering... I got this fish tank in my office now. Yeah, are they related? Like, you keep a vessel of temperate water in there. But there's also, like, carnivorous creatures in that water, so I don't think anything can, like, lay an egg in there. But there's also like carnivorous creatures in that water, so I don't think anything can like lay an egg in there without... Are you creating a system where the bugs grow and then they get into the water and then they die in like a closed loop? If you can picture the water cycle diagram from your like second grade science textbook that just said science on the cover.
Starting point is 00:02:26 I remember it well. My favorite book before I covered it with the bag from a grocery store. Yeah, I didn't have to do that because I owned the book. It was my book. Point to the area of the bookshelf where the science book now rests, Ben. I actually do. I actually have moved across country several times with all my fucking books, and many of them are school books. I was going to say, I have one of those, you know, the fan that blows in at a piece of
Starting point is 00:02:57 sticky paper bug catchers in my office. I've got one of those too. It looks like what the old Mac Pro used to look like, the little black cylinder. Yeah. When it was a little black cylinder and I have been running it like, you know, when single bug in my office season started again, I, you know, put in a new piece of sticky paper and set it running. Today I looked at it and there is like a skirt of dead gnats around the outside of it. And I don't understand how that happens.
Starting point is 00:03:32 That is such a fuck you to the system. Yeah. Like you're supposed to be on the sticky paper. Like they're outside the paper killing themselves to spite you. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:03:43 They have like a can of gas and they're pouring. I mean, it's like such a small amount of gas. It's not gonna start a house fire, but they're pouring a can of gas all over their little bug selves and self-immolating in protest of my bug genocide device. Like with their bodies, they spell out the words, you've done a bad job.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Like that's just even worse. Why would you tell Ben that? This is why Wendy can't tell us when a struggle is happening in the edit. Ben, I gotta tell you, I'm hearing about that stuff. It's okay. Wow. I'm on it. So there's a side chat?
Starting point is 00:04:16 Yeah, we got it. We got it handled. Oh, good. Okay, good. So do you think, look, whether or not the bugs are killing themselves or you've deployed a weapon with an agent that does the killing, are you on the other side of the problem? No, cause there's, I still have one bug in my studio at all times.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Like I think- Is that bug always the same or is it a different bug? No, cause I kill it every time. Replacing the old dead one. Yeah, that's right. I throw off the sync clap. I get it. time. Replacing the old dead one. Yeah, that's right. I throw off the sink clap. I get it.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. We're early enough in the season that they're slow bugs, you know? Like you get to the hotter months and these bugs are uncatchable. These are simple bugs.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Yeah. Yeah. We have not reached the neon-deon phase of single bug in office yet. We're still getting Lenny bugs. My problem is not airborne. You seem to have the airborne bug problem. Mine are on the ground and they are ants. And this is the time of year where ants are in the studio.
Starting point is 00:05:22 I don't eat in the studio. I don't know what they're here for or what they think they hope to accomplish by being here. My wife and I were doing yoga in the other part of this little ADU we're in and she's like, I gotta stop. I'm like, babe, what's going on? And she's all, there is a row of ants, like crawling past my mat on their way to a thing. So we stop the yoga, get out the spray, hit the ants, like stop the yoga in the middle. Yoga pivoting to poison is just, you know that it's a bad sign. It's not what you want. It changes the whole energy.
Starting point is 00:06:05 It's like the opposite of what yoga is about in many ways. I know, man. You're totally right. You fucking torched your chakras. We were so peaceful, and then we murdered a billion ants. And we got back to the last 10 minutes of the yoga, and it was like, it wasn't the same. The mood was ruined. You could tell Adrian was judging you from the other minutes of the yoga and it was like, it wasn't the same. The mood was ruined.
Starting point is 00:06:25 You could tell Adrian was judging you from the other side of the screen. Aditi's our instructor. Oh, okay. But yeah, her judgment is withering. We thought we had the problem solved, but as you well know, you can kill the ant trail, but until you get the source, until the source of the ants commit suicide in front of you, sending you a message, you don't have your arms around the problem. And I found this out just this morning where I was in here using the studio bathroom
Starting point is 00:06:56 and looking at my phone as you do. Mostly good stuff on the phone, I assume. Ben, I felt a little tickle. I felt a little tickle and what I realized when I looked down, was an ant was crawling on my balls. It had somehow found its way into the bowl and then on the underside of the seat, transited across the bottom of my legs, toward what was hanging in the middle. And I just want to tell you, not a bad feeling.
Starting point is 00:07:40 You know what? Kind of a special tickle. Even ants know not to neglect the balls, you know? Yeah, this guy died soon after and my time on the pole ended as abruptly as that yoga session. Which is all to say, my bug problem has no solution at this point. It's ongoing. I would say that you have a bug prob-l-tunity, my friend.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I sure do. Yeah. But today, Ben, a different kind of problem. A problem really that is not seen as an opportunity until maybe the very end. Yeah. Sure. Let's dig into Star Trek Enterprise Season 2 Episode 25. It's called Bounty. [♪ Music playing.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Working title on the script was Quilted Quicker Picker Upper. What's your brand? We were a like Trader Joe's or whatever was cheapest household for most of my life. And then when the baby first came to Rome. Trader Joe's or whatever was cheapest household for most of my life. And then when the baby first came, Jerome, the boy, our doula, she gave us like a shopping list of shit you will need when you have a little tiny baby at home
Starting point is 00:08:58 that you don't know about yet because you've never done this before. And she put us onto Viva paper towels, which are made out of cotton and I think we pay a small fortune for our paper towels now but that is the kind we get. I'm surprised you were already there. Given opinions expressed on a recent episode of a mild hit Patreon podcast, Wholesome, you expressed a lifelong interest in like getting the best things. It feels like paper products are a value you
Starting point is 00:09:31 realize time after time, day after day. True. I think that that obsession of mine has a lot more to do with durable goods though. Is a paper towel not meant to be durable? You see it all the time in the commercial. You get it wet and you do the little pull. Imagine wringing out a paper towel. Who does that? Let me tell you, Adam, with the Viva brand, you can do it. Hey, I don't have a baby and don't want one. So here's where that question comes from. If cotton was such a great concern for a household with kids, why not switch off of paper towels to cloth? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Because we got off of paper towels during the pandemic. We were like, well, if we can't find paper towels in grocery stores, I guess we're just going to get the linen rag. And we have a fucking stack of these at home that we just go through every week. Yeah. I did a thing years ago, which was I bought, you know, those like blue medical towels, like the ones that like sometimes have like a hole cut in them so that they can drape it over you when they're going to do surgery and just they're like, you have those?
Starting point is 00:10:41 Yeah. There's like a guy online that, that he's, I think he is a physician, but he has a little side hustle selling stack of blue medical towels because they're durable and very absorbent. Are they used? No. And it's new fabric, but you use them like a paper towel and then you throw them in the laundry. And if they have holes, they can stack on the paper towel dispenser.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Yeah. And you don't mind them getting beat up, you know, because they're not like, it's not like a nice dish towel that you got at Sur La Table. That is legally how you have to say that name. Yeah. What do you say? Sur La Table? Now, I don't want to get in the crosshairs of sur la table, corporate. So yeah, I mean, we do that too, but you know, we're washing poop out of a lot of things and sometimes you just don't want to have to. You find out about the textiles in your life pretty quickly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:44 When you cover them in shit life pretty quickly. Yeah. Yeah. When you cover them in shit. Yeah, really can. Archer finds out about Tellarites pretty quickly in today's episode, which I'll remind everyone is season two, episode 25 Bounty. And he and Trip have been exploring an uninhabited planet. They get up to the ship, having had a great time.
Starting point is 00:12:07 You can tell because they're all dirty. And there is an unexpected visitor outside the ship now that would like to talk to Archer specifically. It's gotta be such a shock when you're the captain of a ship to like go to the bridge and there's already a strange ship on the view screen. I don't think I would like that surprise. No, you want a heads up. God damn it. There is second bug in my office. What the hell?
Starting point is 00:12:34 Yeah. It's one of those crazy ones too. If you're not watching the stream at home, Ben's attention was diverted to all areas outside the camera. It's one of those ones that looks like a really, really big mosquito, but it isn't a mosquito. You know what I'm talking about? Who knows what they are? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:54 No one will ever know. Yeah. So up on the FaceTime, the captain of the ship appears and it's Captain Sklar. Could you tell if this was Jason or Randy? Cause I can't tell the difference. I know that it's Sklar racism. That is the laugh that you deserved out of me.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Yeah. I could not tell which. Under just a mountain of Tellarite loaf, Captain Sklar exists. He styles himself as a geographic expert on the planet that Trip and Archer were just down there exploring. Yeah, cause he's like initially pissed that they're there until he finds out that it was just funsies and shore leave
Starting point is 00:13:40 that they were doing and not like mining or something. In that case, I recommend you visit the equatorial range. The view from the North Summit is inspiring. I thought it got a little awkward when he started talking about the polar island chain that needed exploring. Seems a little soon in this relationship to start talking about the polar island chain Yeah, this of course was a place that that aunt was exploring. Yeah in the Marin of this episode Would he be their guide they wonder sure he will I'll help you plan your
Starting point is 00:14:22 Shore leave very welcoming just meet this guy in the airlock and they can go ahead and get started. But when the door opens, Captain Scalar is shooting first and he takes down Trip Tucker first, which is classic. Like, Trip is always the first to go down in these moments. And after a brief scuffle, Archer goes down next into the theme. Yeah, he shoots trip, he shoots a pot full of mashed potatoes with a whisk in it, and just the pot disappears, and then he shoots Archer and then he goes. And after the theme, Hoshi determines that weapons fire has happened on board unauthorized
Starting point is 00:15:00 due to the presence of that pile of mashed potatoes with a whisk in it. What good is a docking clamp if you can just rip your ship off of it the way the Tellarite ship does here? I feel like it must be like three or four times a season that Enterprise has got to go in for repairing the docking clamps because somebody ripped off the docking clamps upon departure. I kind of wish there was more of a chunk taken off of Enterprise when this thing goes, and it was still like attached to the Tellarite ship. Yeah, and like, Trip got sucked into space because of the chunk getting taken. That is left as a question for kind of a long time.
Starting point is 00:15:50 The whatever happened to Tripness of this, and if he's on that ship too, or if he's just blown out into space. What's interesting about the Tellarite's escape is that Enterprise can't pursue because on his way out, the Tellarite captain shoots in a cell and that actually frees them up to stop and wait for the recall of all of their crew that are still down on the surface. But it made me wonder, if they could pursue, would they have? And left the guys on the surface? I think you have to, right? I mean, the guys on the surface have a shuttle pod. They've got some provisions in there, presumably. They'll be fine. No bathroom that we know about, but, you know, they can dig a hole.
Starting point is 00:16:25 Yeah. That's what the shovel's for. This is like something, like, that you just have to accept about Star Trek. Old Star Trek, I'll say. Is that, like, when the ship is getting embarrassed by an alien, that embarrassment will be sustained. Like, he shooting a guy's like grabbing someone, taking him aboard his ship. He then shoots their nacelle to knock out warp. Like the pants are getting pulled down for a sustained 30 seconds in a row before the crew are like even reacting to what's going on. I'm not sure I've ever thought about it that way, but that's really astute.
Starting point is 00:17:07 It's like how if you see a bank robbery in a movie, the cop in the bank never apprehends the robber and then the problem is done. Like the robber is permitted to get the money into the bag and then leave in the getaway car and so forth. Right. You're never rooting for the cop in the Bank Heist movie, you know? I mean, I was against the Joker.
Starting point is 00:17:28 The Joker was a bad guy. He was bad, yeah. But he was also robbing a mob bank, so it's like, you know, kind of... bad guy on bad guy action there. But like, you want like, Hoshi and Reed to be like, oh, fuck, like, this guy's leaving. Throw the extra clamps on the docking ring so that he can't.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Problem solved, you know? They should use the grapplers like a bike chain. Like if you want to dock with enterprise, you also get a grappler. Right on ya. Yeah. I need something to do with this shit, come on. Fair enough.
Starting point is 00:18:00 They don't even tell you about that part. You dock and like the grappler's going like, boop, oop. Sneaky grappler. Mm-hmm. Like, if you're not looking for it and you're the captain of that Tellarite ship, you might not even feel it. It might just be a little tickle you feel.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Right. On the bottom of your ship where the grappler attaches. Back when I was in my film production days, I carried production insurance and errors and omission insurance for my company. I was putting a pitch deck together for a prospective client. I had my wife look it over for spelling mistakes and she was like, don't tell them you have insurance. Are you fucking nuts?
Starting point is 00:18:40 That just makes them more likely to sue you for the value of your policy. I was like, oh, yeah, I guess I'll keep that to myself. Don't tell them about the grappler. Don't ever tell them about the grappler. Anyways, so warp is disabled. Uh, all the teams left on the surface are coming up and to Paul is in decon when they inform her that the captain has been abducted. Didn't want to radio that to the shuttle pod, I guess.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Guess not. Unlike Archer and Trip, T'Pol and Dr. Flax are covered in microbes. Yeah. I mean, the microbes took one look at these two and they were like, we gotta get us some of that. And so she and Flocks are going to be stuck gelling each other up in the chamber.
Starting point is 00:19:31 I wanted to Paul to be like interesting that I am forced to spend time in the decon chamber far more than any other character on this show. Yeah, it seems that way. But I do like how the pairings keep changing. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, at least there's that. There you salty long.
Starting point is 00:19:59 So Archer wakes up and he's in like a holding cell in, like this shuttle is like 50% holding cell, it seems like. It's like cockpit and holding cell and no other things. I bet this Telluride captain wishes that, that that wall weren't just a bunch of fluorescent lights and instead was like a wall. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:20 Cause fucking Archer just will not shut up. Yeah. Archer, you know, in the time-honored tradition of prisoners of war, sets about making himself a pain in the ass for those who have imprisoned him. And eventually this Sk'alar guy turns around and is like, you can shut the fuck up or I can shut you up with this gun. I was kind of rooting for the gun here. Ha ha ha ha. On and on Archer goes, negotiating. this gun. I was kind of rooting for the gun here.
Starting point is 00:20:46 On and on Archer goes, negotiating. Negotiating a thing for which there is no negotiation. Yeah. You don't have anything to offer in this conversation, do you Archer? We cut over to the lube room on Enterprise and Dr. Flock seems almost impressed by the microbes that they're riddled with, right? and Dr. Flock seems almost impressed by the microbes that they're riddled with, right? Oh, is this microbe more resilient than you thought, Flock?
Starting point is 00:21:11 Oh, are you gonna need more gel to rub onto Paul Flock's? Oh, did you put a modesty curtain in the decon chamber, Flock? Oh, actually, that's actually pretty cool. It's gonna take hours of being lubed up to decontaminate themselves from this. And the camera, as it always does in these moments, positively luxuriates over every inch of both of their bodies.
Starting point is 00:21:40 And Dr. Flux is like, can you get my back? And when he disrobes, you see he has kind of a shaved cross of chest hair. Like you would expect some extremely devout Christians to be rocking this kind of chest hair on the beach, you know? Like, God, give it a rest. Yeah. Like only the most evangelical have cross-shaped chest hair. Mm-hmm. He also has backloaf, which kind of like folded in a way where when T'Pol started rubbing it, kind of looked like she was looking for
Starting point is 00:22:21 the man in the boat a little bit. I thought there were maybe even hundreds of men in boats on the back of Dr. Flux. You'd think they'd be easier to find in numbers like that. Maybe there's only one man in one of the boats on Dr. Flux's back. That's finding a needle in a haystack. That's pretty tough. Oh man. On Dr. Flax's back.
Starting point is 00:22:41 That's finding a needle in a haystack. That's pretty tough. And as anyone would be, as T'Pol rubs the lube into Dr. Flax's birdie, into his back fold specifically, the face she's making seems like she's getting pretty turned on here. And she kind of snaps out of it. She's like, ugh, oh, I was kind of feeling that for a moment.
Starting point is 00:23:08 And then it's her turn for the back loop after. She's like, instead of my back, do you mind getting my front? We cut away from this scene back out of the bridge and Trip is in charge while Reed picks up the fleeing Tellarite ship. And this is just a moment in the show to tell us that Enterprise has changed course in order to catch up with this thing. Yeah. We have a lead on a warp signature. Right.
Starting point is 00:23:33 But yeah, the captain of the Tellarite ship is now on the phone with his client for this bounty, Captain Goroth, to let him know that he's got the fugitive. And we learned that Captain Goroth is a Klingon. Yeah, he's the guy that Sk'alar is doing business with. And Captain Sk'alar's like, cool, I got the fugitive. I'm gonna meet you at Kronos, like we talked about. And the Klingon's like, no,
Starting point is 00:24:02 I'll transport coordinates where we will meet. Make sure the bounty isn't dead. And they'll get paid when they get there. Like that's the arrangement that they're made. And Archer's like, yeah, I'm not sure if you knew this. I know what Klingons are. I've actually had a few encounters with them. It may interest you to know that I escaped from their maximum security prison, Ruripente. Yeah. Want to know what I did?
Starting point is 00:24:34 And Captain Sk'alar looks back at him and he's like, I don't care. At this point, I think the Enterprise has found the decoy beacon that Sk'alar dropped. Is this a decoy buoy, Ben? I think it kind of is. If it's standing up and down like that, I think up and down means buoy. A decoy. It appears to be a beacon of some kind.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Let's turn off our scans. Then get rid of it. Probably the first truly easy kill the Enterprise has gotten with its weapons. Do you think Reed over-celebrated this moment? I kind of do. Yeah, yeah. T'Pol's not the only person getting sexually excited on this episode. But yeah, so Archer's talking to Sk'Alar and he's like,
Starting point is 00:25:24 you know, I got this life sentence that I escaped, but you know, Starfleet can like buy my freedom. Like whatever they promised you, like we can definitely be. So take me back. And Sk'Hallar's like, you realize that we're talking about Klingons here. Like there's no like upside for me in doubling my money if it also means the Klingons are gonna hate and wanna kill me forever.
Starting point is 00:25:47 So much of Archer's argument here is like, they're gonna kill me when I'm returned to them, which kind of makes you an accomplice to my death in a way that I want you to really think about in case you might be uncomfortable by that. This captain is not uncomfortable by that at all. Once again, Sk'lar is like, I don't care! He's like, honestly it would probably be easier for me to just kill you now
Starting point is 00:26:15 because they just want the body in exchange for the bounty. He makes it clear also that look, he doesn't work for the Klingons. He's an independent contractor. Yeah, he has to pay self-employment tax and everything. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:31 And he's almost sad to be handing Archer over to the Klingons at this point. There is a weird kind of mood change to the thing that happens in this scene, I think. Indeed. Meanwhile, back in the decon chamber, T'Pol is really starting to get feral and she like tries to escape, but Phlox is trying to reason with her, like you're going to give an
Starting point is 00:26:58 infect the whole damn ship. If you get out of here, he's got sedatives that he thinks may be able to help her, you know, calm her lustful heart. Do you think it's irresponsible for Vulcans to be so secretive about Ponfarr? We do not discuss it. I kind of do. I mean, it feels like it's always a secret until it's not,
Starting point is 00:27:21 you know? Like, every series that's got a Vulcan in it has a Ponfarr episode. There could be an accommodation made for this circumstance, but every time it arrives, it's always a huge, big, surprising problem. And it's so much more difficult to triage as it's happening instead of going like, all right, it's T'Pol's time of the eight years or whatever. Like let's figure this out so it's not destructive.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Because she hasn't even said what Ponfar is yet and... But it's clear to a Star Trek viewer what's going on. Like half of what's making her crazy is the secret of it, it feels like at this point. Yeah. Yeah. She has not revealed the secret to the doctor yet, but you know that's coming. What's coming right now is on Captain Sk'lar's ship. He's on FaceTime with another Tellarite. And it's clear that his life is a real pay check to pay check situation.
Starting point is 00:28:32 What he wants is to get paid by the Klingons for Archer. And then he wants to use that money to get the Tezra back. But without the money in hand, this conversation kind of goes nowhere with this other Tellarite. And we learned that Tezra isn't just a person, it's the name of a cargo ship. Oh man, he's going to buy that ship back. That's going to be his meal ticket. He's so excited. 9,000 Darsecs he's going to earn from this job. That'll be plenty. Yeah. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:29:08 A ship is incoming right now, Ben, and it's not Enterprise. It's another bounty hunter named Cago. And this guy looks like he's from another science fiction TV show. Did you get this? He did not look like he belonged on Star Trek. And I mean that in kind of a complementary way. Like I feel like sometimes when you get new alien creatures on the show, they sort of fit into the box of Star Trek loaf wearing aliens. But this guy dimensionally, like in stature and in voice and everything else, like you get Robert O'Reilly's voice coming out of him, which is great.
Starting point is 00:29:45 And it familiarizes what this guy could be. But like he's on this weird chair and his limbs are interestingly proportioned to his body. Yeah. And like, I feel like the lighting is a lot more like Andromeda than it is Star Trek. He kind of looks like that moment in older video games. Like on the Star Trek Sega Genesis game, like you get an alien on view screen and it was always like alien in chair with background.
Starting point is 00:30:15 And like that's what this guy is. Just classic alien in chair. Yeah. Yeah. He also has undertaken to get this bounty and he wants Archer so that he can go tournament for the 9,000 Darseks. And this turns into a shooting match. Cause, uh, I mean, uh, Scalar is not going to give him up easily.
Starting point is 00:30:38 And, uh, this pretty quickly means Scalar is like back aft of the flight controls of the ship, working on repairing his ship and not really working on flying away or defending himself. And Archer uses this as a pretext to get out of the cell so that he can fly while Skalar shoots back. What'd you make of how Sk'alar treated Kago here? Because I thought he never took Kago seriously. And then when the firefight popped off, I was like, oh, Kago can like really get it. Like he's doing good.
Starting point is 00:31:18 And then I thought back to that earlier scene in the episode where we learned that Tellarites love arguing. Yeah, Yeah. And that kind of like put the frame around this moment, but like, oh yeah, it wasn't like overconfidence or condescension for Kago. It was like, this is actually what Captain Sklar lives for. He lives for- He fucking loves this shit. A fucking put down and a firefight is a great day for him.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Yeah. I mean, like there's also the point made, like this guy is not going to vaporize the ship with you on it. You're his meal ticket too. So we can counter punch way harder than he can punch in this context. And that they do like Archer gets into the pilot seat and does some fancy tactical flying so that they can shoot down Kago's ship and Kago goes down hard in an atmosphere of a planet and they realize that they've got some repairs to do because the warp reactor is leaking.
Starting point is 00:32:16 So they decide to land well away from where Kago is so that they can wrench on the ship a little bit and get it fixed up for the rest of their trip. Speaking of leaking, back on Enterprise, Dr. Flax is woken up by T'Pol who is absolutely slick for him. Yeah. And he is really struggling to keep it professional in this exact moment. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:43 You don't find me attractive. Of course I do, but that is not the issue. He didn't bring a broom handle into Decon with him so that he could just kind of keep her at bay. And she's like, I mean, rubbing on him in his sleep. That's inappropriate, you know. She, this gets more and more explicit. She, you know, is talking about like the cure for what ails her.
Starting point is 00:33:05 It is less and less medicalized what she wants. She has heard what he can do with his tongue. She knows about his non-exclusive relationship structure in his society. She has a pretty good sense that she could fit her entire pelvis into his mouth. If he wanted that. Yeah. You have no idea what you're denying yourself. It's a real fuck or die scenario that she's laying out there, right?
Starting point is 00:33:40 Like, hey, doctor, you gotta save me, and here's how you do it. Mm-hmm. The only medicine that can treat me starts with a D. Yeah. Yeah, she finally explains what ponfar is and what the consequences of not fucking when you're ponfaring can be for a Vulcan. Really putting Phlox in a tight spot.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Phlox has not seen the third Star Trek movie, so I don't think he's aware that finger stuff can also alleviate the sexual tension of this moment. No effort is made to do the finger stuff at this moment. LAUGHS Great effort is made on the surface of the planet, where repairs are being made to Captain Scalar's ship. Yeah, I didn't know if you read this, Adam,
Starting point is 00:34:27 but this set where they landed the ship is actually a little bit of Hollywood history. It is the same set as the one that Kubrick used to fake the moon landing. How about that? That's why it was so familiar. Yeah. I had the dumbest thought when I saw this. I was like, it is so weird to see people out on the surface of a planet with like black and stars up in the sky.
Starting point is 00:35:01 And then I wait a beat and I'm like, except that's what it looks like at night on earth. Like, why does it look so dangerous and otherworldly? It's just because of the topography. It's just the rocky moon-like soil of the place. Yeah. Yeah. This ship that we're talking about getting back, the Tezra was a real fast mover and Skalar just really has a soft spot in his heart for this ship. Like the car you wish you never sold.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Yeah. Yeah. Huge regrets. He tells Archer about, you know, taking a shipment of something and accidentally going through a little bit of Klingon space. And that led to their ship getting impounded and Archer is listening to this story while pretending to fix the engine and it turns out he was just fucking it up even more the whole time. This is like Archer's best move in the episode.
Starting point is 00:35:57 I think my favorite edit in this episode is that like we're going shot reverse shot between Skalar and Archer during the storytelling. But when we're on Skalar for a time and he notices that Archer's doing something fucked up to the engine, the cut back to Archer isn't him facing the engine, throwing the sabo into it. It's him like looking at Skalar with his arms like working in a way that he can't see. Yeah. I thought that was hilarious. There's like smoke pouring out of the area behind him. I suppose when you're destroying something you don't need to see,
Starting point is 00:36:38 you're just ripping out hoses and stuff. Right, yeah. You're stripping the wires and all that stuff. I love Archer's defense of his actions here. He's like, it was practically my duty to attempt to deceive you. As your prisoner, I thought you would know that. Yeah. I'd already pleased that booty,
Starting point is 00:36:58 so this was the only thing left to me. Yeah. Faith of the fart. And you will never take the greatest We're back in the lube room now and Paul is writhing around Sexually and she is both horny and pissed
Starting point is 00:37:21 That dr. Flux is pursuing a medical treatment instead of physical therapy. Yeah. The only serum she wants is cum. You have the cure. It's unethical for you to withhold it, doctor. A poorly timed doorbell breaks up the tension here and it's TripTucker with dinner and, oh no, this room service tray has nothing but hot dogs and tacos on it and these the lids of the trays look like large silver boobs
Starting point is 00:37:56 abort trip abort get us gruel please this imagery is not helping man Get a screw, please. This imagery is not helping, man. Yeah, I love that Phlox is trying to brave face it for Tripp and not like, you know, like this is T'Pol's business. It's not everybody's business. Phlox is like, it's fine. But then she kind of slinks out from the blue room in the decon chamber.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Phlox is absolutely incredible in this episode. He really is. As a total pro. But unfortunately he cannot hide from Tripp the way she's eating that tabbouleh salad. Yeah. I mean, if I've gotten a tabbouleh salad and like there's no utensils in the bag,
Starting point is 00:38:42 I'm probably not eating it. Like, I don't think you can at that point. I was very inspired by T'Pol here. You can eat the tabbouleh salad. You could just do it. Yeah. I was high on acid one time in the Santa Monica mountains and we'd bought some pasta salad with us, like a little deli tub of pasta salad, And we didn't have any, any forks. And so I was just eating it like by the fistful. It was like one of the great memories. Ben, what were you doing when you were tripping on acid?
Starting point is 00:39:18 Well, we ordered a sensible lunch. We went up into the Santa Monica mountains and then we dined. Yeah, pretty much. That sounds great. So the Enterprise has now found the planet, but no Tellarite ship, but they do pick up something on the surface and it's fucking cargo again. I'm so glad fucking Kago again. I'm so glad we get Kago again. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Another FaceTime with Kago where Tripp is talking to him and I guess Kago is like giving up. It's not like Kago thinks he's got a shot at getting Archer at this point and he's like, yeah, so like there's a price on his head and I was trying to get it and this other guy is probably going to get it. Don't you love the rapidity of this information? Like, Kago's not trying to cover it up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Kago doesn't give a shit. Kago's trying to repair his ship. Yeah, he would much rather Skalar's day get ruined at this point for any reason than Kago self-delude into thinking that he's getting 9,000 Darsacs anytime soon. Right. He fucking isn't. No.
Starting point is 00:40:28 But I was surprised like after Archer's attempted sabotage, sabotage. Sabotage the system. To put it in the Shatner terminology that they made it to a space station, no problem. Yeah, this is where Captain Scalar's brother lives and works. And when Captain Sk'alar finds him, the brother is not happy to see him. No. And this is classic because Sk'alar has assumed that his brother and he are on the same level, W slash R slash T getting the Tezra back.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Right. And the brother's like, you think I give a shit about the Tesra? Like those days are behind us, dude. You're the one that blew it with the Tesra to begin with. You blew it. And not only that, if you were to get the Tesra back, you're going to fucking cry your eyes out, dude. That thing has been stripped for parts.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Yeah. It's a pile of shit right now. It's never going to go to warp again. It's like a beautiful architectural house that's had all the copper pipes stripped out of the walls. It's totally fucked up. Gavrin doesn't want to be the first officer of that piece of shit now. Not after what the Klingons done to it. No, but he will give his brother the engine part that he needs. Like this guy doesn't believe that 9,000 Darsecs will get, like, even if the Tezra is not an option, can't he get something good with some Darsecs?
Starting point is 00:42:00 I mean, 9,000 Darsecs just doesn't go as far as it used to, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, with inflation and everything. I mean, you're certainly not going to fix doesn't go as far as it used to, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, with inflation and everything. I mean, you're certainly not going to fix the Tezra for that amount. No. You know, I guess that's what being totaled is. Like the cost to repair is more than the cost of purchase new. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Yeah. Anyways. Hey man, give up the Tezra plan. All right? Yeah. So Archer starts working on this dude and he's like, you're still turning me into the Klingons after this? Like, why are you licking their boots?
Starting point is 00:42:31 Your whole thing has gone to shit. And he wants to know a little bit more about Goroth and his ship. And this is when we cut away back to T'Pol who's now really losing it. Like Vlox has finally synthesized the serum that he wants her to take, and she is just so hungry for sex that she refuses to accept. I mean, like, coming at you with the hypo spray,
Starting point is 00:42:59 I can tell why she's, like, fearful and, like, irrationally against taking the hypo spray. Well, there's, there's a difference in to Paul between here and previous scenes because before she was aggressively sexual, but now she's aggressive and sexual and delirious. Yeah. And this is what makes consent even more of an impossibility at this point. Uh, let alone the fact that she's like
Starting point is 00:43:26 physically trying to defend herself from getting a serum injected into her that will supposedly stop her suffering. Yeah. So Flox is like, all right, well, you know, my denobulin medical ethics prevent me from doing anything. So the code to the door, if you would like to leave is 867-5309. And she goes right to the door to try and leave. And he tries to dose her from behind. I thought this was a great plan. It's a good move because she looks too delirious to have
Starting point is 00:44:02 her wits about her. So is he going gonna like cite her willingness to do the serum previously as like the ethical? Yeah. Okay. I was like- I think so. I thought you just said a thing about your medical ethics, man.
Starting point is 00:44:15 No, it was all a trick. It was all a trick to heal her. Yeah. Per her wishes. But she's got super Vulcan strength and she rocks him against a wall. And while he's stunned, she jimmies the lock, gets loose into the ship. And now she could fuck anyone.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Yeah. Dr. Flax blows in a call to the bridge. It's like, uh, Hey, get every male crew member into the cage. Distribute emergency cages. Yeah. Hey, get every male crew member into the cage. Distribute emergency cages to all male crew members. When you see Reed and his security team, they're in those full body condoms from that one scene in the naked gun movie.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Yeah. Unfortunately, Reed is the one leading the team to find T'Pol. And as you said, the team is wearing environmental suits and they got her location on a tricorder and it's doing that beep that beeps faster when you get closer to the target. There's something wet as hell in here and it ain't us. It's just too bad that Reed is the one to find her first, because it makes the scene about Reed and somehow, I think the scene is meant to convey to us that Reed is a good and strong and noble masculine figure
Starting point is 00:45:35 for resisting to Paul in this moment. But I don't think it does what it's supposed to do in doing that. Because you can see on the close-up of Reid's face, he is kind of in anguish in this moment. Right. It's not like he's not considering it. Yeah. I can't do the parody. Fortunately, Dr. Flax has read him and everyone else in on like the specificity of her condition. It's not just apprehend to Paul. It's also you should know this about how she's acting and know to resist it.
Starting point is 00:46:18 So they hit her with the stun pistol and she goes down hard and we cut back over to the Tellarite ship docking with Goroth's Klingon ship. A Klingon ship of a design I'd never seen before. And we don't initially see the inside of the Klingon ship because the Klingons come over to Skalar's ship and underpay him pretty badly. 6,000 Darcics. We agreed to nine, did we? Didn't like this moment.
Starting point is 00:46:54 But I think crucially and magically, it gets you to feel bad for Skalar. I couldn't believe that. Like up until this moment, you're like, this guy's a dirt dirtbag he's doing it for money and now that the Tezra isn't even on offer for him as a result like what's he even doing this for? What a shitbag. And yet when he's underpaid I'm like oh man. That's just like everybody that's ever freelanced is like come on man like this fucking company. That's just like everybody that's ever freelanced is like, come on, man, like this fucking company.
Starting point is 00:47:25 That's what it is exactly. They just fuck you every time. Even though like the box that they give him the Darsex in, it was a nice box, you know? I'm sure the Klingons hope he's satisfied by the box. I'd like to see the like Star Trek antiques road show, you know? Like Kivas Fajo might buy this from you kind of a thing the smell of the outdoor tent that they set up production of Kronos Roadshow
Starting point is 00:47:54 And the hot summer Sun hi, I'm Mark Wahlberg and I am khamar Um... I am Camarque... ...Cavalberg! You pitiful fools! Stand no chance against this Klingon that looks a lot like Paul F. Tompkins! Your treasured... ...personal items...
Starting point is 00:48:21 ...are worthless! Your family hung onto this for generations for no reason! All this and more on the next episode of Kronos Roadshow! So the Klingons warp off and Skalar radios the Enterprise? What? Huh. That's interesting. We do see the inside of the Klingon ship. Archer gets taken to a holding cell and turns out he has like a set of trick cuffs on.
Starting point is 00:49:02 I wanted to ask you about this. Yeah. Like I said a trick cuffs on I wanted to ask you about this. Yeah when he gets out of his handcuffs I'm like, holy shit Check out captain Archer like maybe he is the guy that quote-unquote Busted out of Rura pente like the guy that can't be kept in the Klingon prison I was so impressed by this when you're told later that Captain the Klingon Prison. I was so impressed by this. When you're told later that Sk'alar gave him
Starting point is 00:49:26 a pick to the lock. Yeah. I kind of wish I didn't know that. Like I wish there was another way to convey to us that Sk'alar is now our buddy and our friend. While at the same time- The lock pick is hidden in the cuffs. Like it's that thing that he puts on the door, right?
Starting point is 00:49:44 But like Archer needs a win so bad. I kind of wanted this to be his thing that he was able to do without help. Right. Yeah. I do like that the cuffs become a cudgel. Like when he, when he gets in the Star Trek fight in the hallway, he's like swinging the cuffs around. It looks like it hurts.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Yeah. And it's a pretty rough Star Trek fight. Like it's a, Archer barely won this, but he got a gun because he did win this fight. Every fight depicted on Star Trek or TV or movies in general should feel like this. Like the winner should barely escape. Yeah. It's, it's, it's desperate and grueling and quick. Yeah. So he starts sneaking around.
Starting point is 00:50:25 He's looking for something in particular. He's looking for a particular place on the ship. And this is presumably why he was asking Skalar if he'd ever been aboard Goroth's ship. There's like periodically firefights with Klingons who have insanely bad aim. Like so many door jams get hit in these firefights. I think any Klingon can be a Klingon sniper in their military,
Starting point is 00:50:54 given what we're seeing depicted here. Yeah. It's really brutal. Ben, by the time you see where Archer is headed, did it reveal to you that this in fact was not a Klingon ship and a ship that the Klingons had taken? Because I was surprised that any Klingon ship would have an escape pod. I wrote down the same thing. Like I was like, I mean the green reads as Klingon when you
Starting point is 00:51:18 see the outside of this ship, but it's not a very Klingoni shape. So maybe it is some other species build. It is without honor to have a spare tire and mini jack in your trunk. Road flares are for a patac. The only thing acceptable is one of those pumps that you plug into the cigarette outlet and then there's that weird cylinder that you add to it and it... The pump of goo! ...sprays goo on the inside of your tire, and it doesn't actually work.
Starting point is 00:51:52 It's just there to make you feel better. Pump of goo is with honor! So yeah, he gets out in the escape pod. Enterprise comes and gets in a firefight with the Klingons, a firefight that features Grappler because they grapple the pod while they're trying to knock out the heavily shielded weapons ports. Could you use the Grappler like a lasso? If they decided to grapple the Klingon ship and then maybe, you know, like if you're if you're driving a tank,
Starting point is 00:52:27 you can reverse the tread direction of one set of tracks, if you could spin Enterprise around, could you just toss a ship with the grappler? Like a lasso? Wow. Or like a whip? I was picturing something like what they did to the Ad-Ats in Empire Strikes Back where they like wrap the grapplers around the legs. Wrap the grappler. Wrap the grab. And then they can't get away.
Starting point is 00:52:53 No. Anyways, they grapple Archer's escape pod, and you see the cable snap as the ship flies off. And you just, they cut to the inside of this escape pod, and the sudden vector shift causes Archer to turn into cat food against the interior hull of this escape pod. And that's the end of the episode.
Starting point is 00:53:19 They recovered just a wet red uniform. Like there's some hair. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Teeth. Yeah. Ugly. Phlox has come up with a cure for Horny. T'Pol's horny secret is safe with him and the half dozen crew members that he had to tell when she escaped from the Decon chamber, I guess. and crew members that he had to tell when she escaped from the decon chamber, I guess. Archer does not get an update on the T'Pol and Flock situation. That's a, you know, that's a long story for another time thing
Starting point is 00:53:53 when he gets back to the bridge. That's good, right? That's another check in favor of Dr. Flock's. Yeah. They get on FaceTime with Skalar and it's like, hey, like, you know, that was great, but we're not friends after all that. I'm still a bounty hunter and bad, and maybe I'll bounty hunt you again.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Kind of a goodbye. Especially now that we've presumed that the bounty has doubled or increased in a way that would make that possible. So you better watch your back, Jack. Probably buy two Tezras if you get the bounty again, right? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe a little extra to not only fix the Tezra, but upgrade it. Yeah. Can you imagine?
Starting point is 00:54:40 Wow. Wow. Almost too powerful and fast. Did you like this episode, Ben? I did like this episode. I've been wondering when the Tellarites were going to come into play in this show because they're like, I feel like they're like one of the most unexplored Star Trek species in the hundreds and hundreds of episodes of Star Trek. Like, you know, we know that they're like a founding member of the federation and that they're gruff assholes that love arguing, but like, I don't really know much about them other than that.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Outside of Jinkum Pog in Star Trek Prodigy, I knew nothing about them. Yeah. I mean, like, we see them in Discovery a little bit, and I know that they're like, they show up in TOS a little bit, but I don't, I'm not, like, familiar with those episodes, so... We'll get there eventually, dude. I feel like this show has an interesting opportunity to, like, flesh them out a bit, and I'm curious to see what they'll do.
Starting point is 00:55:46 But yeah, I enjoyed this episode quite a bit. How about you? I did too. And I think it's easy to reflexively see the T'Pol storyline and go like, great. They fucking sexed up the lube tube again, and they're making the perfect male fantasy of like, fuck me or die as a reason to get down with a hot person. And then I remembered that this is really hard for an actor to do. And it made me respect Jolene Blaylock even more
Starting point is 00:56:26 because this is like a version of act drunk that I would assume it's very easy to feel embarrassed if you're an actor doing something like this. Embarrassed and uncomfortable maybe if you're doing this with a scene partner that maybe you don't trust or know entirely. And she's such a fucking pro and the characters are so lived in at this point
Starting point is 00:56:48 that I think if you were to put this episode in very early season one, you'd be like, oh God, like, like this is truly something else. Like this is something for a different TV show. Yeah. In a fucked up way. I feel like Enterprise earned the benefit of the doubt of a B story like this in late season two. Because we know who Dr. Flax is. We're not skeeved out by him being a part of this scene. We know what Ponfar is. We're familiar with T'Pol and we recognize how upsetting and embarrassing this is going to be afterwards for her.
Starting point is 00:57:25 It's kept sort of private in a way that ends up being like a check in favor of just the systems in place to protect the privacy and embarrassment of people involved in things on this ship. If you were to just step up to this episode as someone who hasn't consumed everything up until now, I think you could easily be like, that's gross and misogynistic. But I don't think it is based on that evidence. Yeah, I mean, I think you were right to point out that the read scene complicates that and makes it...
Starting point is 00:57:55 It does, yeah. ...work less. It makes it like, closer to what I imagine, Brogget and Berman were probably hoping for, you know, in writing the story for this episode. And that's just the thing that cuts against what I said. Like, anyone could have heard my argument in favor of this episode and be like, yeah, but, like, consider who wrote it.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Like, that's clearly not in play here. But I'm trying to, like, see... But, like, Roxanne Dawson directed this episode, and I think... Totally. That's where I was gonna go next, yeah. Yeah, and, like, and there was a woman on the writing team too. Like, it's Brandon Braga and Rick Berman's story, but they weren't the ones that actually wrote the script.
Starting point is 00:58:30 And so, like, I feel like it, like, in spite of the, like, more prurient instincts of the creative team that were running this show, I feel like this came out better than it could have been. Absolutely, yeah. Well, you wanna see if there's anything prurient in the Priority One inbox, Adam? Let's see if we can make anything there come out better than it could have been. Priority One message from Starfleet coming in on Secure Channel. Need supplemental income.
Starting point is 00:59:01 Supplemental income? Supplemental. Supplemental. Yeah, it's extra. By the interest alone, could be enough to buy this ship. All right, Ben, we got a promotional priority one message here. Okay. Here's how that goes.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Now, when you have a website, newsletter, magazine, or nerdy musings that could use a writer or editor, you're going to want to contact a professional. Wow. Specializing in making complex subjects easy to understand, Genius Communications, that's J-E-A-M-I-U-S, has you covered. With two decades of writing, editing, and communications experience, Gene can help you de-nerdify your writing or increase your nerd quotient, or simply make sure your Oxford
Starting point is 00:59:45 comma is correctly placed. Wow. So this message is to visit genius.org, that's J-E-A-N-I-U-S dot org, to contact Gene about your project. I really like this. Now it's a whole thing with Gene. Yeah. I like that Gene can dial up their nerdery or dial down the nerdery depending on what
Starting point is 01:00:07 your project's needs are. Yeah, find yourself someone who can do both. Genius.org Yeah, pretty great. Our next priority one message here is from Christina, and it's to Christina. It goes like this. Hello, future Christina. It goes like this. Hello, future Christina. This is past Christina wishing you a happy fourth birthday. It was cruel fate to have your birthday be on Star Wars
Starting point is 01:00:33 Day, but hopefully getting a birthday wish by your favorite Star Trek podcasters makes it easier. Do a shot of Malort for me Wow Malort as birthday shot. I Kind of like that way of entering a new year Yeah, it's only getting better from that point. We got pretty close to May the 4th here. So Happy birthday, Christina. Happy birthday, Christina. I know how that be worrying about a birthday We were really worried that Darone's baby sister, second of two, was going to be born on January 6. We missed it, fortunately.
Starting point is 01:01:10 But it was really stressful those last couple of days. It turns out Doron's sister's conception was January 6. Yeah, got us really excited. And she's one of those rare babies that gestates for a year and a day. Yeah, a little overcooked. Yeah, yeah. Ben, our final priority one message is from Hannah. It's to Afton.
Starting point is 01:01:33 Happy birthday to the best big sister ever. Wow. I'm so happy I convinced you to move in upstairs in Spinster Sister's Barn. It's been wonderful to have you and Wesley the cat here. I hate cats. Go away. You're telling me the kitty cat? You're welcome for introducing you to Greatest Jen. Can't wait for more Star Trek Sundays together, love, Hannah. Wow, the Spinster Sisters barn sounds like a great hang. Spinser Sisters barn! You're gonna go on living in the Spinser Sisters barn!
Starting point is 01:02:16 That doesn't quite work. That's close. That is close. All right. Maximumfun.org slash Geobotron is where you go if you want one of those things to happen to you. Birthday messages, communications, professionals. Time travel. What have you. Yeah, that shit. Hey, Ben. What's that, Adam?
Starting point is 01:02:34 Who'd you find is your drunk Shimoda? Incredible. Drunk Shimoda! I kind of felt like Jolene Blaylock might be the person having the most fun. Like, we were talking about how, like, this type of performance is hard I kind of felt like Jolene Blaylock might be the person having the most fun. Like we were talking about how like this type of performance is hard and like potentially really embarrassing.
Starting point is 01:02:51 Maybe that was the case. Maybe she wasn't having the most fun on set for this one. But I thought she threw herself into this with a level of commitment that makes me hope otherwise. Yeah. So this is a hopeful Shemode. I've given it to Blaylock for this one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:10 Optimistic Shemode. I like it. Ben, mine's related, but not exactly Jolene Blaylock. She is very hot this episode in all kinds of ways. But specifically, the way I want to talk about is in temperature. Thermally. She's thermally conductive here in all kinds of ways. And anyone who's ever worked out vigorously will be familiar with the areas in which perspiration can sometimes gather on a body.
Starting point is 01:03:42 I love that there is a decision made to give her crack sweat. Like at the top of her shorts, in the back of her shorts, like she's got ass sweat because she's that hot and everyone gets ass sweat. Swap ass is normal, even for Vulcans. Okay. I think this cuts against the idea that like the depiction of her in this episode was totally purient and bad. Like if that were true, they wouldn't have given her ass sweat.
Starting point is 01:04:15 So crack sweat is going to be my drunk Shimoda. Wow. And the presence of it. All right. Faith of the fart. Let's talk a little bit about next week's episode. We will be covering season two, episode 26, The Expanse. An alien race known as the Zindi launch an attack on earth, causing great casualties
Starting point is 01:04:43 and massive damage. As Enterprise heads back home, an unlikely source informs Archer about the Zindi, and that their next attack will destroy Earth. Why not just destroy Earth the first time? Hmm. That's a good question. What are they waiting for? Well, we'll have to see. Well, uh, sounds like this is gonna be our season two finale episode, Ben. Are we gonna
Starting point is 01:05:11 do anything special to celebrate it? Let's find out by going to the Game of Buttholes, the will of the Riker Quantum Leap over at gach.biz slash game, Ben our runabout is currently on square 46 and by the time I roll this hundred sided die We'll figure out how we're going to recap the season 2 finale. Are you ready? I am Ready, my body is ready My mind is ready. You're required to learn as you play Roll and you give us a step the status of your crack sweat? Crack sweat has been readier, I would say, but we're going to have to make do with this
Starting point is 01:05:53 level. Crack sweat nominal. Ben we've landed on square 74. Chula! Did I win? Hardly. Okay. 74. It's a regular episode. It's exactly between the read alert and faith of the heart squares. So dodged a couple of big ones. But regular old episode for you and me.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Tremendous. I think so. I can't wait. Looking forward to next week. In the meantime, we have many people to thank. The legions of Friends of DeSoto who support us at MaximumFun.org slash join. We really really appreciate your ongoing support. To anyone considering supporting, no time like the present, right? Get that bo-ko! Ben, when's the best time to support? I mean during the drive, but then the other best time to support is always. The best time to support is now! Yeah. Right now! Yes. Yes. Yes! The best time to thank Windy Pretty is also now! Sure is. She's our amazing producer editing out stories about insects on Adam's scrotum. How about new? And we really appreciate her doing things like that for us.
Starting point is 01:07:06 You don't think people would want to hear that story. Hehehehe. Gotta thank our Zindi wartime consigliere, Bill Tilly. Yeah. Who makes amazing, hilarious trading cards about every episode. You can find those on the At Greatest Trek Instagram. Well, At Greatest Trek all all over the internet god damn it. Bill would know to destroy earth the first time around not needing to come back a second time.
Starting point is 01:07:33 Bill takes care of business, you know. Yeah. We got to thank the social media director at the Uxbridge Shimoda Corporation Rob Adler for all of his tremendous efforts. Hey, sign up for the mailing list, gach.biz slash mail or podshop.biz, to get the monthly email newsletter that we send out. It's the greatest newsletter, and it's great. It really is. You're going to love it.
Starting point is 01:07:59 It's got the Nuck of the month. You're not going to know what is the best Nuck we saw all month, unless you're signed up for that newsletter. You know how when you usually just go into your email inbox and just delete a ton of shit that you don't want to read? Yeah, cuz you're like, this isn't gonna have NUC, like West Elm? Like marketing email? No fucking way, not looking at that. I mean, there's a little bit of NUC in a West Elm marketing. Yeah, there might be a little bit.
Starting point is 01:08:22 You're gonna want to read this! This is great stuff, and it's got information inside that you won't hear or see anywhere else. Yeah. Sometimes Bill writes something for it. Adam and I always write something for it. My eventual resignation letter will be in the newsletter. Gotta thank our buddy Adam Ragusea who made our parody theme music on the show. He also co-hosts Wholesome, our little Patreon side project.
Starting point is 01:08:51 Patreon.com slash Wholesome underscore pod. Go give it a listen, it's really good. And we gotta thank Dark Bateria for use of the card song. With that, we'll be back at ya next time with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise where we're finally giving Florida what it deserves. You can't wait to find out what you mean by that. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show.
Starting point is 01:09:26 Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show.
Starting point is 01:09:34 Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show.
Starting point is 01:09:42 Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show. Make it show.

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